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nitrateglow · 3 years

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Favorite films discovered in 2020

Well, this year sucked. I did see some good movies though. Some even made after I was born!

Perfect Blue (dir. Satoshi Kon, 1997)

I watch a lot of thrillers and horror movies, but precious few actually unsettle me in any lasting way. This cannot be said of Perfect Blue, which gave me one of the most visceral cinematic experiences of my life. Beyond the brief flashes of bloodletting (you will never look at a screwdriver the same way again), the scariest thing about Perfect Blue might be how the protagonist has both her life and her sense of self threatened by the villains. The movie’s prescience regarding public persona is also incredibly eerie, especially in our age of social media. While anime is seen as a very niche interest (albeit one that has become more mainstream in recent years), I would highly recommend this movie to thriller fans, whether they typically watch anime or not. It’s right up there with the best of Hitchcock or De Palma.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (dir. Sergio Leone, 1966)

Nothing is better than when an iconic movie lives up to the hype. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef play off of one another perfectly. I was impressed by Wallach as Tuco in particular: his character initially seems like a one-dimensional greedy criminal, but the performance is packed with wonderful moments of humanity. Do I really need to say anything about the direction? Or about the wonderful storyline, which takes on an almost mythic feel in its grandeur? Or that soundtrack?

Die Niebelungen (both movies) (dir. Fritz Lang, 1924)

I did NOT expect to love these movies as much as I did. That they would be dazzlingly gorgeous I never doubted: the medieval world of the story is brought to vivid life through the geometrical mise en scene and detailed costuming. However, the plot itself is so, so riveting, never losing steam over the course of the four hours it takes to watch both movies. The first half is heroic fantasy; the second half involves a revenge plot of almost Shakespearean proportions. This might actually be my favorite silent Fritz Lang movie now.

Muppet Treasure Island (dir. Brian Henson, 1996)

I understand that people have different tastes and all, but how does this movie have such a mixed reception? It’s absolutely hilarious. How could anybody get through the scene with “THA BLACK SPOT AGGHHHHHHH” and not declare this a masterpiece of comedy? And I risk being excommunicated from the Muppet fandom for saying it, but I like this one more than The Great Muppet Caper. It’s probably now my second favorite Muppet movie.

Belle de Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel, 1967)

I confess I’m not terribly fond of “but was it real???” movies. They tend to feel gimmicky more often than not. Belle de Jour is an exception. This is about more than a repressed housewife getting her kicks working as a daytime prostitute. The film delves into victim blaming, trauma, class, and identity-- sure, this sounds academic and dry when I put it that way, but what I’m trying to say is that these are very complicated characters and the blurring of fantasy and reality becomes thought-provoking rather than trite due to that complexity.

Secondhand Lions (dir. Tim McCanlies, 2003)

The term “family movie” is often used as a synonym for “children’s movie.” However, there is an important distinction: children’s movies only appeal to kids, while family movies retain their appeal as one grows up. Secondhand Lions is perhaps a perfect family movie, with a great deal more nuance than one might expect regarding the need for storytelling and its purpose in creating meaning for one’s life. It’s also amazingly cast: Haley Joel Osment is excellent as the juvenile lead, and Michael Caine and Robert Duvall steal the show as Osment’s eccentric uncles.

The Pawnbroker (dir. Sidney Lumet, 1964)

Controversial in its day for depicting frontal nudity, The Pawnbroker shocks today for different reasons. As the top review of the film on IMDB says, we’re used to victims of great atrocities being presented as sympathetic, good people in fiction. Here, Rod Steiger’s Sol Nazerman subverts such a trope: his suffering at the hands of the Nazis has made him a hard, closed-off person, dismissive of his second wife (herself also a survivor of the Holocaust), cold to his friendly assistant, and bitter towards himself. The movie follows Nazerman’s postwar life, vividly presenting his inner pain in a way that is almost too much to bear. Gotta say, Steiger gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in a movie here: he’s so three-dimensional and complex. The emotions on his face are registered with Falconetti-level brilliance.

The Apartment (dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

While not the most depressing Christmas movie ever, The Apartment certainly puts a good injection of cynicism into the season. I have rarely seen a movie so adept at blending comedy, romance, and satire without feeling tone-deaf. There are a lot of things to praise about The Apartment, but I want to give a special shoutout to the dialogue. “Witty” dialogue that sounds natural is hard to come by-- so often, it just feels smart-assy and strained. Not here.

Anatomy of a Murder (dir. Otto Preminger, 1959)

I’m not big into courtroom dramas, but Anatomy of a Murder is a big exception. Its morally ambiguous characters elevate it from being a mere “whodunit” (or I guess in the case of this movie, “whydunit”), because if there’s something you’re not going to get with this movie, it’s a clear answer as to what happened on the night of the crime. Jimmy Stewart gives one of his least characteristic performances as the cynical lawyer, and is absolutely brilliant.

Oldboy (dir. Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Oldboy reminded me a great deal of John Webster’s 17th century tragedy The Duchess of Malfi. Both are gruesome, frightening, and heartbreaking works of art, straddling the line between sensationalism and intelligence, proving the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s both entertaining and difficult to watch. The thought of revisiting it terrifies me but I feel there is so much more to appreciate about the sheer craft on display.

Family Plot (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1976)

Family Plot is an enjoyable comedy; you guys are just mean. I know in an ideal world, Hitchcock’s swan song would be a great thriller masterpiece in the vein of Vertigo or Psycho. Family Plot is instead a silly send-up of Hitchcock’s favorite tropes, lampooning everything from the dangerous blonde archetype (with not one but two characters) to complicated MacGuffin plots. You’ll probably demand my film buff card be revoked for my opinion, but to hell with it-- this is my favorite of Hitchcock’s post-Psycho movies.

My Best Girl (dir. Sam Taylor, 1927)

Mary Pickford’s farewell to silent film also happens to be among her best movies. It’s a simple, charming romantic comedy starring her future husband, Charles “Buddy” Rogers. Pickford also gets to play an adult character here, rather than the little girl parts her public demanded she essay even well into her thirties. She and Rogers are sweet together without being diabetes-inducing, and the comedy is often laugh out loud funny. It even mocks a few tropes that anyone who watches enough old movies will recognize and probably dislike-- such as “break his heart to save him!!” (my personal most loathed 1920s/1930s trope).

Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

This feels like such a zeitgeist movie. It’s about the gap between the rich and the poor, it’s ironic, it’s depressing, it’s unpredictable as hell. I don’t like terms like “modern classic,” because by its very definition, a classic can only be deemed as such after a long passage of time, but I have a good feeling Parasite will be considered one of the definitive films of the 2010s in the years to come.

Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

Indiscreet often gets criticized for not being Notorious more or less, which is a shame. It’s not SUPPOSED to be-- it’s cinematic souffle and both Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant elevate that light material with their perfect chemistry and comedic timing. It’s also refreshing to see a rom-com with characters over 40 as the leads-- and the movie does not try to make them seem younger or less mature, making the zany moments all the more hilarious. It’s worth seeing for Cary Grant’s jig (picture above) alone.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (dir. Joseph Sargent, 1974)

This movie embodies so much of what I love about 70s cinema: it’s gritty, irreverent, and hard-hitting. It’s both hilarious and suspenseful-- I was tense all throughout the run time. I heard there was a remake and it just seems... so, so pointless when you already have this gem perfect as it is.

They All Laughed (dir. Peter Bogdonavich, 1981)

Bogdonavich’s lesser known homage to 1930s screwball comedy is also a weirdly autumnal movie. Among the last gasps of the New Hollywood movement, it is also marks the final time Audrey Hepburn would star in a theatrical release. The gentle comedy, excellent ensemble cast (John Ritter is the standout), and the mature but short-lived romance between Hepburn and Ben Gazarra’s characters make this a memorably bittersweet gem.

The Palm Beach Story (dir. Preston Sturges, 1942)

Absolutely hilarious. I was watching this with my parents in the room. My mom tends to like old movies while my dad doesn’t, but both of them were laughing aloud at this one. Not much else to say about it, other than I love Joel McCrea the more movies I see him in-- though it’s weird seeing him in comedies since I’m so used to him as a back-breaking man on the edge in The Most Dangerous Game!

Nothing Sacred (dir. William Wellman, 1937)

I tend to associate William Wellman with the pre-code era, so I’ve tried delving more into his post-code work. Nothing Sacred is easily my favorite of those films thus far, mainly for Carole Lombard but also because the story still feels pretty fresh due to the jabs it takes at celebrity worship and moral hypocrisy. For a satire, it’s still very warm towards its characters, even when they’re misbehaving or deluding themselves, so it’s oddly a feel-good film too.

Applause (dir. Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)

I love watching early sound movies, but my inner history nerd tends to enjoy them more than the part of me that, well, craves good, well-made movies. Most early sound films are pure awkward, but there’s always an exception and Applause is one of them. While the plot’s backstage melodrama is nothing special, the way the story is told is super sophisticated and expressive for this period of cinema history, and Helen Morgan makes the figure of the discarded burlesque queen seem truly human and tragic rather than merely sentimental.

Topaz (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1969)

Another late Hitchcock everyone but me seems to hate. After suffering through Torn Curtain, I expected Hitchcock’s other cold war thriller was going to be dull as dishwater, but instead I found an understated espionage movie standing in stark contrast to the more popular spy movies of the period. It’ll never be top Hitchcock, of course-- still it was stylish and enjoyable, with some truly haunting moments. I think it deserves more appreciation than it’s been given.

What were your favorite cinematic discoveries in 2020?

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rachelillustrates · 4 years

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An Exploration of Kiliel

OKAY, fandom thoughts on my art blog because of Story Study.

My Wife and I finally watched The Hobbit movies, so I’ve finally gotten to Kiliel (..... ❤ ) and I have some headcanons/thoughts about Tauriel’s introduction to the story, the flow of their romance, and what’s important.

(So this will be part meta, part headcanon as I sort that out.)

What’s striking me right away - other than the fact that I came into these movies ALREADY shipping them and am damn pleased about it, thanks Tumblr - is that we are given.... well, bupkis on Tauriel’s motivations and backstory. And the person I’m watching these movies with, who I love very much, was quick to point out that her introduction and immediate positioning as a Romantic Female Lead could read very shallow to the casual viewer.

(Which I am not, thank the Gods.)

So, what of Tauriel’s backstory and deeper life goals? Digging into the fandom, I found notes that her parents were killed by Orcs when she was young, and that Legolas took her under his wing afterward (making him her mentor, and thus making the idea of their romance even less attractive to me, since that means he would hold even MORE sway and authority over her and there would be very little equality for her there. Also, Gimli).

But that’s it. And we’re not given that in the main plot of the movie at all.

What we are given is the information that she’s conscious of the dangers to the outside world, and wants to protect her people by stopping those dangers at the source, despite contrary orders from her King.

So what I think the movie intended, with that scene where she talks to the Elvenking about her concerns and how she immediately chooses to go after the Dwarves later - motivated primarily by the thought of saving Kili - is that Tauriel has a deeper drive to help save the whole world from the threats she sees to it. Because of what happened to her parents, because she knows the spiders are coming from outside their borders, etc. The featurette “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest” says of her “She has a great curiosity of other races, of the world outside - she literally hasn’t been anywhere...” (mentioned in part 2, part 1 is here). So, to me, her motivations for leaving Mirkwood include that - as well as saving this Dwarf she feels an inexplicably deep bond with already.

On that note, I wish they had gone a bit deeper into her and Kili's immediate connection than what we were shown. I do appreciate how she insisted on fending for herself, in their Battle Couple introduction, and how Kili immediately accepted her for who she is - the trousers joke was, admittedly, a little uncomfortable for me due to personal reasons, but I think it could be read as him meeting her aggression in battle with aggressive flirting, and in that light, her positive response to it (in what she said to Legolas, and in returning to check on him of her own volition) makes a lot more sense to me. And while I really enjoyed and understood the Feast of Starlight scene, those less romance-genre minded than myself may not have understood that as deep "enough” (for more of the intentions of the plot in that scene and the take the actors had on it, click here. Includes a hysterical Leoglas moment at the end!).

Rewatching it, I do see and recognize how deep their connection is and how meaningful what they choose to share of themselves is - especially with the idea of Kili honoring and respecting (nay, being attracted to) her ferocity, and the fact that most of her kin probably don't automatically respect her for such things. The sexism among the Elves is not as bad as it is with humans, but it is still there. Who knows how much Tauriel has had to fight for her place as the Captain of the Guard, being a woman. And again, it probably wasn’t as bad for her as it was for, say, Eowyn - but no matter how much space there is for women to step up and be active agents of the story in the mythology of the world, Tolkien didn’t choose to make women part of the action, actively, most of the time. So the world still reads as a mostly Men-at-War, Women-at-Home place. And that has to have had an impact on Tauriel’s life. And in addition to how charming Kili is, just as himself, the fact that he sees that part of her, respects her and admires her FOR it, must hold a lot of weight.

Another part of what I've seen, in re-immersing myself in the fandom now, has been this idea that both Kili's culture and Tauriel's culture have an idea of soulmates, the One person who, when you meet them, shakes you to your core, and you are never the same again. I really think that's what the writing was going for (see Evangeline Lily’s comments in part 2 of “Tauriel: Daughter of the Forest,” particularly), but it wasn't given the space and depth that it needed to be apparent on surface level of casual viewing.

So, from my fangirling perspective, I imagine that they both felt that right away, but were so surprised by it - because of the unexpectedness of their circumstances, and the animosity between their peoples- that they didn't know how to handle it, and fell into awkward humor, and slightly clumsy attempts to get to know each other as they tried to sort it out.

I imagine that Tauriel's outright denial of any connection to Legolas, and immediate acceptance of his father's racism toward her in that context, was also swayed by her newfound feelings. They (Tauriel and Kili) probably did talk more, as well, about their families and their deepest dreams after the Feast of Starlight scene cut off. We just aren’t given that information.

(Anyone else for a romantic adventure Kiliel-centric mini series?)

Then of course, we are given the healing scene. What I got from this, beyond their romance, was that Tauriel always looks to be helpful. When she takes the athelas from Bofur, she looks like she’s had a revelation. She realizes she can help, she can heal Kili, and that gives her an outlet of action for all the confusing feelings she’s having. She goes right into business mode about that - and Kili, all pained and fevered, barely realizes it’s her. But when he does, he looks at her in wonder (with a fever-dream angelic view of the magic around her, even! Sidenote - I LOVE how messy her hair was. Both beauty and realistic adventure life). And she looks back at him with such serious kindness, telling him to trust her, without words. Of course, he does....only to then believe that she wasn’t there at all, and spill his heart out to this apparition of the person he already knows he loves.

And in that, he is so sure that she’s beyond his reach, even though he knows he loves her already. Even though as he talks about how she’s on another level of existence than his, his action is still to reach for her hand, still reaching for her, despite the words he’s saying. He still wants to believe it is possible - that they are possible - even as he’s trying to accept that they can never be.

Which, of course, leads into the beach scene. After the whirlwind of surviving Smaug’s attack, too (extra shoutout to the writing there, regarding Tauriel and Bard’s children - she’s aware enough to realize that Bard’s son is the only one of the three of them that might have had any sliver of training for situations like this, because human misogyny, so she uses that to protect all of them - “Your sisters will die if we stay here,” etc. - but as soon as he runs off to help his father, she still makes the girls her priority, as well as the Dwarves. Headcanoning that if Kili had survived, and they married and moved into Erebor, she would have damn well taught those girls how to fight).

Anyway, back to the beach. I think my favorite part of that moment, other than the Heart Wrenching Perfection of what Kili says to her (and how it’s acted!), is that he has realized that she wasn’t a fever dream after all - that he did, in fact, say all those potentially embarrassing romantic feely-feels things right to her actual face - and instead of being embarrassed, he just GOES for it. He is that sure. Sure enough, that even when she can’t let herself reciprocate his feelings (even though she clearly does - and she doesn't say no, btw, she is interrupted by Legolas' arrival and thusly the reminder of her duty and her 'place') he then gives her the token from his mother, to let her know she’ll always be in his heart, no matter what she decides. And he almost doesn't, he almost leaves, but turns back in the last moment, in that desperate, loving attempt to try again. No matter how impossible it seems.

MY freaking heart.

Also, when Tauriel then learns of her banishment, she looks shaken at first - but quickly, almost relieved. See here, at about 39 seconds in. She has clearly been fighting against her own heart each moment since Kili came into her life - even though, as I mentioned before, he provides a grand excuse for her to go help other people beyond Mirkwood’s borders. And now, released from the obligations she has to her people, to her King, who doesn’t fully respect her anyway, she is free to do what she could not just moments ago. She is free to choose her own path - to follow her heart, and her ambitions to help the world.

Of course, she follows Legolas first - the path of least resistance being to follow her mentor and Prince. And I get from that that she’s shut herself off from her own emotions for so long - likely due to her parent’s death, early in her life - that she really doesn’t know what to do with herself, in that freedom, and in love. So, following her nearest authority figure, giving herself a moment to breathe and decide later, seems natural.

But, luckily, that path leads right back Erebor.

And unluckily, right into the tragic ending.

But first, she confronts the Elvenking (who has banished her, and therefore freed her, though that was not his intention) about his refusal to stay and help. His concern for his own people, again, will lead to them not being there to save the lives of others suffering in the world around them. And she’s not having that - in general, even if a large part of it is her love for Kili. The script focuses only on that love - with Thranduil refusing to accept that she really loves Kili, comparing what he imagines she feels to what he felt for his late wife, it seems - but there is so much in her whole narrative that has already pointed to her desire to help the whole world, even before she lets herself start feeling for Kili. And this moment plays right into that deeper motivation.

Of course, her story being a romance, finding and protecting Kili is her first priority. And sadly, that goes, as we know, badly.

It bothers me a LOT that she “had” to be damseled in the Big Fight. BUT. We at least get the strength of their connection before she gets trampled by Bolg (and the surety of her voice when she calls for him, and the focus that hearing her, and his calling back out to her, gives him - yes. It’s subtle, but its very strong and very there). And at least they get to see each other one last time - Kili knows, no matter what happens, she chose to come after him after all.

And all the emotion, in her watching him die, and him realizing what they’ve lost even though she did choose him.....ugh. My heart, again. They are both just so clearly broken - Tauriel so confused, not able to accept that its come to this, after she chose to find him, after everything. Kili so brokenhearted that after all his hoping - after she chose him back - they still can’t be together (not to mention the fact that he’s just lost his brother, too, the only other person we see him love as intensely as her). And then, in the last moments of (this part of) the fight, when Kili is gone and Tauriel is alone again, her pain is so great, her anger so clear, her love so deep, she is willing to use her own momentum and throw herself off the tower’s edge with Bolg, just to try and make for damn sure that he pays for what he’s done.

(I will forever maintain that the fact that that didn’t kill him - that SHE didn’t get to kill him - is a travesty. Especially with his murder of Kili, but also for the gross tongue thing. Very uncomfortable with what that implied.)

I’m gonna skip over the intervention of Legolas to save her life, cause that’s not important here, suffice to say that once again I am Pissed as Hell that they felt the need to damsel her so much. Sigh. I must assume, from a writing standpoint, that they chose to nerf her in this battle because she’s never been involved in war like this - fights to protect Mirkwood, yes, but not War Battle. HOWEVER, there are ways for them to have written through that and not made her look so weak. Especially considering that she is a seasoned warrior - AND had fought Orcs before, as we saw in “The Desolation of Smaug” - and between her and Kili, who one of Thorin’s strongest warriors, they should have at least been able to do better together. Crudmuffins! That, of course, would have messed with the outcome of the source material, but who of us would really be complaining? Hmm? (Sorry Tolkien.)

Their canon story ends, of course, with Tauriel having to come to terms with her feelings and Kili’s death all at once. As as much as I spent most of the movies harshing on Thranduil (except to honor how fabulous he is, stylistically and attitude-wise, and make as many Party Elk jokes as I could), i am glad they brought him back for this scene - not only that he gave Legolas a direction away from mooning over Tauriel, but that he got to help Tauriel accept what had happened (in his own blunt way). The way he watches her here, and looks at her, I feel like he’s really seeing her and accepting her as a person and not below him for the first time. I’m also headcanoning, since we know that Tauriel was orphaned and bonded with Legolas soon after (as her mentor - and honestly, I read their relationship as more of a broship/sibling situation), I feel like she was taken under the wing of his household - not because he approved, but because it was the Right Thing and probably looked good to his people, even if he couldn’t fully accept her due to her heritage. I also feel like the fact that she asks him to take the love away from her, since it hurts so much, also points to a more parental role than he would admit. If your heart was broken, who else would you ask to take those feelings from you - at that first heartbreak - than a parent?

But of course, he can’t - all he can do is finally admit, despite his earlier insistence otherwise, that her love for Kili IS real (I feel like he might have gone through something absolutely similar with his wife’s passing - finding her falling in battle, mourning over her body). And that smashes any hope she had that she could keep denying how she feels - it passes over her face, visibly and physically, that shock that he’s admitting it, then frustrated realization that if it’s real, she can’t deny her feelings anymore and can’t close her heart to it, and then just pure pain again as she realizes what she had and the full measure of what she’s lost.

And then she kisses him, as if she’s sealing that love and acceptance - the only time, super duper heart-stabbingly tragically, that she’ll ever get to you know, according to this version of the story.

I can only hope that afterward, Tauriel chose to honor herself and Kili’s memory by continuing to help the world at large, in her exile. And that she surprise and “oh shit”-ness of Thranduil’s expression upon realizing that an Elf could truly love a Dwarf means that he will be kinder to Legolas when he brings Gimli home.

Now, as far as the runestone goes, I initially wanted to believe that Tauriel would take it back after she gave it back to Kili in death, maybe to return it to his mother on a well-intentioned trip to meet her, to give them both closure. However, upon learning about what’s specifically written ON the stone, I have a different thought - Middle Earth News points out here that the runes on it translate to “Return to me.” Obviously, at its creation and initial giving, that was about Kili’s mother bidding her reckless son to come home safe. But when Kili gave the stone to Tauriel on the beach, he made it theirs as well. He bid Tauriel to return to him by giving it to her. And so now, in returning it to him upon his death, Tauriel bids Kili in turn to return to her, death be damned.

So while at first glance, that returning of the runestone may look like Tauriel denying her feelings again, its really a further, even more solid gesture of that acceptance. And honestly, to me, an expression of hope.

And I feel like hope is what really strikes me, about this ship. They have SO much potential, not only in how little we’ve been given of them in canon, but the potential they see in each other in those brief moments where they obviously imagine what their lives could be like, if they could be. One of my favorite shows says, early in its story, “Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a powerful thing.” And that is exactly what I see in them, and why they strike me as so wonderful. They are hope, and the belief in love despite all odds against them, despite all the darkness around them.

And no matter how shakily that might appear to be set up, that is gorgeous, at its heart and root.

And if you got this far in all my scattered ramblings, thank you!

(The art above is my own, btw. For more of my own star-crossed inter-fantasy-racial height-difference queer fae, click here 💕 )

~~~

Patreon ~ Etsy ~ Ko-fi

#kiliel #meta #hobbit headcanons #the hobbit #romance #fanart #fanart friday #fangirling #lotr #lotr fanart #legolas x gimli #legoli #kili #tauriel #tauriel x kili

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megatraven · 3 years

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who’s your favourite LI from each series you’ve read? :o and why?

*claps hands together* ALRIGHT!!!! (warning: as i typed i grew more and more long-winded and i dont apologize for it but u should kno)

alright obviously i have to start off with Astoria, of which Alex is my favorite LI! I'm not gonna go into why because *gestures to entire blog* and i've made multiple posts about it

from Immortal Heart Society, it's definitely Emilio thus far. admittedly i havent tried reading the other two, but I like emilio a lot! he's really grumpy and weary it seems, but i find the grumpiness charming and the weariness feels like it's there to be driven away by mmc's fresh approach and excitability. he's fun so far!

from My Siren Crush, I gotta say it's Maxime so far!! he and Arianna only have 6 episodes each so it's hard to say, but i LOVE his personality and how sweet he is. I really like that he's shy and that he does a lot of different kinds of art, and how gentlemanly he is!

from Ever After Academy, it's definitely Arin!! Sure they've only got one season so far, but they were my favorite character almost right off the bat, before we even knew they'd be getting a route! I love how much they care about the people around them and ho they do their best to do the right thing, how they take on so many responsibilities and are willing to do so again and again, if that's what it takes to get a happy ending for everyone. they're so funny, too, and i just really am a slut for the dynamic they have with fmc, the HISTORY....... incredible

from Tales of the Wild, it's Bram!!!!!!!! my sweet bear boy, he's so kind and gentle and strong and Stubborn af..... i really really love bears so i knew i was a goner the instant we were able to vote for him to be a new LI. his route is really interesting so far, too, what with MC being a dinae whose animal form was stolen! he cares so much about her and just wants to keep her safe, to the point he makes a Very Important Oath to her... like......... he cares her....... its so sweet..

from Reigning Passions it's gotta be Xenia!!! :D i admit i have a Slight obsession with spider-people, and the moment I saw her i knew that I was gonna love her to death. when she got a route i was so overjoyed! she's just. so genuine in everything that she does, she does her best to truly do what's right and what's good for the kingdom, and for mc. she's incredibly smart and resourceful, her magic is SO COOL, and she's just really really gorgeous. i like her dry sense of humor and her blushing sprite...... i love that she slowly gives her trust to mc, and confides to her about personal matters such as her late husband, and how she clearly still loves him even whilst loving mc. she feels like such a unique character, i really just adore her <3

from Sin With Me, i've gotta say my favorite atm is Onyx! I love all the routes, but DAMN onyx's really went all out with making her a fucking DRAGON?!??!?!?!? queen shit. she was also a really unique route in that she dealt with a lot of trauma from past abuse and had to learn to open up about it and accept that what happened t her wasn't right, and that she wasn't a failure for it. it had such a strong found family feeling, even compared to the other routes. everyone just wanted her to be happy. they accepted mc into their ranks quickly because she made onyx happy, and that's all the troupe wanted. and she is so pretty and funny..... she's so CUTE...... and i think it's one f the few cases where the LI is shorter than the MC?? idk she's just. so badass, and i loved her route to pieces!!!

from Sweet Enchantments my favorite is Lucien! (with a shoutout to emeril for close second)! the character growth he undergoes in his route is just ASTOUNDING, it's written and paced so well, i can't help but love it and him!!! also one of my favorite colors is turquise and thats His Color(tm) so im a hoe for that. i just. really my big thing with him is that he grows and flourishes into such an incredible character, so sweet and humble. he's also a very very funny LI (imo), and i love seeing him interact with all the other sweets characters! his cgs are the most gorgeous things...... there's a scene where he takes mc into the human world, to a cafe so she can call her parents, and it's so sweet. there's another where he takes her out and plays soccer with her. he just cares so much about her and her wellbeing, and even when he gets afraid that she'll leave him (when she's feeling homesick especially), he talks it out with her and learns to move past those feelings. he promises himself to her before he's even out of Sweets, and i just.......... it's so romantic and precious ;O; <3

from Havenfall it's always gonna be Mackenzie!!!!!! she was my VERY FIRST lovestruck route so she is always going to have a very special place in my heart. plus i mean. LOOK AT HER. her cute face and her CUTE WOLF EARS <333 she's so cool and nerdy!!! she's so STRONG!!! her protective streak is so charming and endearing..... the way that she forgives annabelle and damien and accepts them into her little supernatural family is really precious <3 she's so strong and that strength comes not only from her, but from her bonds with everyone else, and it's...... magical. it really stole my heart and sold me on lovestruck!!

from Love & Legends my favorite (so far) is Alain! I've only read three full routes so far, but Alain is incredible despite the shortness of his route. afaik it's the only route where the mc actually has magic (which i like), and they're ACTUALLY childhood friends to lovers in that mc is a reincarnation across time and space of his childhood friend. he's so cool and sweet, he would do absolutely anything for her because he loves her so so much. which is definitely one of his faults and what led him to being one of the Witch Queen's generals, but when mc came around......... you could tell he was so broken hearted by everything, but that he couldn't bear to not love her, even when it made him bad. and you can see that love again, when mc is selfish, and he leaves her out of anger in chicago. he keeps an eye on her despite his anger and his hurt, because his love is that strong. at some point, this one god speaks and says that alain's route is the only one of his lifetimes that doesn't end in tragedy, where he gets to be happy. i lvoe that trope so much even though it hurts so much. in the other two routes i've finished, he can't leave the witch queen's side, because she's that friend he knew, who he's loved for so long. in his own route, he's only able to leave the witch queen because he finds mc- a glance into what the witch queen could have been. who she should have been. someone kind and strong, who would love him, too. i dunno. his route is just really amazing and so is he :)

in Starship Promise......... it's a hard choice, but i have to say Nav ;O;; whenever i think of nav i think of that one fucking scene........ the one that broke my heart and made me cry for like Days. Stop him. Stop him. Stop him. gods, that was an incredible scene, i don't think i'll ever get over how powerful it was. not to mention... SALAD BOY!!!!! nav is Also a very funny character. he's a secret sadboy who tries to hide it with his charm and good looks, which, A for effort bud. he ends up being unable to leave mc behind, because- even though it scares him- he's fallen for her. his story is really incredible, he's an amazing character and it was wonderful to see him get the justice he deserved.

for Villainous Nights, i'll have to say my favorite LI is Lorelei! :D i'd say renzei and juliette are super close seconds tho. but Lorelei!!!!!!!!! I think she was one of the first routes I read following mackenzie, and she was definitely the first I read from villainous nights! i loved how strong and silent she was, and how much she loves coffee, and how she can make the earth quake. i always loved how hard she tries, how much effort she puts into being in control of herself, how much she does to try making things right. she did bad things in the past, blinded by optimus' promise to do good. and when she realized it, she couldn't stay with them. she turned her back on them and did her damned best to make up for all the hurt she caused. she loves the earth and its people and its nature, and she wants to keep it all safe. she had a broken heart, but with mc by her side, she's finally able to heal and find closure that she couldn't get before, on her own. not to say every LI isn't unique, but lorelei's is another route that just really stood out from the others. her panic attacks, the way she goes mute when she's overwhelmed, how the earth trembles when she gets angry or afraid and how she tries to push her emotions down to stop it........ i havent any of that- especially her muteness- in any other LI in the app. (not that ive read every story yet). lorelei is really incredible and i love her lots my butch wife ;O;

for Queen of Thieves, it's DEFINITELY Nikolai! first and foremost he's demi!!!!!!!! which i was so excited to find out about!!!!!!!!!! that made me instantly love him, and i think that ended up being the reason why i finally started reading QOT at all. i'll take all the a-spec rep i can get, thanks. aside from that, his route is just..... incredibly well-written. everything about it feels like it has this quiet intensity, which matches him perfectly. his self-sacrificing bullshit..... his truly tragic backstory........ how he came to make the poppy........ ho much he loves his little family, how much he loves mc, how much he loves ELIZABETH......... there's nothing abut nikolai that i dont love. he's so smart, but so fucking stupid sometimes, it's the best. he's the best. that first night, in his last season i believe, when he didn't have a nightmare for the very first time ever........... i don't know if i have ever been so happy for a fictional character before. i was so overjoyed for him. he's an incredible character and so, so interesting and multi-faceted, i can't imagine anyone else taking place for my #1 qot character :^)

and last but not least.... Gangsters in Love! My favorite here...... changes a lot, i'm not even gonna lie. it's ALWAYS constantly changing between chance, rory, and ash. like. i just can't pick one. so i wont go into as much detail here as the other paragraphs, but chance is just so FUNNY and dumb like yeah he's a badass ganglord wh orides a motorcycle but also he wears a shirt with a stupid little frog on it i LOVE him. i love how much he loves his gang, how much he loves mc. and ash... who WOULDNT love ash? he's such a sweetie and his smiling sprite makes my heart stumble and he's a dog person???? dream man. he's so silly and cute, he does his best to protect the gang and find justice for his sister, it's so admirable ;o;; and RORY!!!! rory is so badass and cool, she's wicked smart and kinda reckless but in the most charming way. i always really appreciated that her route touched on her alcoholism and showed her growing past it. i loved her character growth in general, and i ESPECIALLY loved how she acted towards stella and how she grew to love her.

that's..... that's it, i think!!!! :0c thanks so much for asking!!!!

#meg speaks #lovestruck voltage #lovestruck

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mastermindrationale · 6 years

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Teen Mom

In 8th grade I only wore clothes that I deemed “emo” enough, thought I was way tougher than I really was, purposefully cut my arms because I thought it felt good, and had already been sexually active for a little over a year. I didn’t have a bad life at home, by any means. My mom had gone back to college just before my 8th grade year, my dad would be working night shifts as a truck driver (my parents have been divorced since I was two), and even though I had the typical teenage frustrations and difficulties, I retrospectively can say that I really had it made. Of course, I was able to completely overlook all the good things I had, still managing to feel utterly misunderstood and neglected.

Thus began the typical dishonesty with my parents, the quiet suffering, and the belief that I was totally alone and unique in my experiences. This lead to me seeking out a new group of friends that was into what I saw as “adult” things like smoking and drinking. Before long, I would tell my mother I’d be staying at a friends house, when in reality I would be in a small town partying with people almost a decade older than me. Surprisingly, this wasn’t how I would become pregnant, even though the lifestyle I led practically begged for that outcome. I became pregnant in the best scenario possible for someone at that age. A longtime friend of mine (we met at around 8 years old) who had become my boyfriend at 12, and my on-again off-again boyfriend from about 14 to 16 would be the father of my child. Our first kisses were with each other, as well as the loss of our virginity.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant VERY clearly. I had been suspicious of the situation ever since I had a weird spotty period; but being 14 I wasn’t about to go do the responsible thing and actually buy a pregnancy test to know for sure. I suspected I was about 2 months pregnant when my mom and I were at the local baseball/softball fields watching my little sister play a game. I had shared my concerns with only a few of my friends, but unfortunately a person had found out who didn’t really have a grasp on the gravity of the situation. She had told her mom as if it were common knowledge. You can imagine my moms reaction when this persons parent casually asked her how I was doing, explaining that she was surprised at the news. Stupefying shock, intense rage, and probably a little hurt doesn’t even begin to explain what must have been going through her mind in that moment. She dragged me home and interrogated me while my step father (poor guy) bought a few pregnancy tests. When the first test immediately said positive, there was a very brief period of time where I had a functioning laptop and cell phone. Note; VERY brief.

Not that I blame her in the slightest, because I couldn’t say what my reaction in that position would be. Since that day my pregnancy was a whirlwind of various appointments and a rapidly growing belly. I had left 8th grade not knowing, and would enter my freshman year in high school about 4 months pregnant. I thought I knew who the father was at the time (I never dated him, or the longtime friend in that period of a few months, I sort of selfishly did what was convenient to me at the time) but when I had my son a month later than planned, I kind of put two and two together. My suspicions would eventually be confirmed with a DNA test shortly after my sons 1 year birthday. There were a handful of other girls pregnant at the same time as me in my school, leading to various support groups being created by local pastors (both female) and other adult volunteers. They were nice, because they brought all of us and our experiences together. These groups made it painfully clear that what I wanted and what my mom wanted were two totally different things.

She fully expected me to give my son up for adoption to my aunt and uncle who were having fertility issues since their marriage. For the longest time, my grandmother would come over every night and attempt to coerce me into making the decision she thought was best, which always seemed to end in me sitting on the floor of my closet sobbing. I knew why it made sense to do what she was suggesting, but I just couldn’t do it. She would tell my aunt and uncle that I was going to go through with it, then tell me that my aunt and uncle wanted me to come over just to talk. Whether it’s fair to do so or not, I still hold a little bit of blame in my heart towards her for making those few months of my life living hell. My mom would eventually tell me that she had kind of let my grandmother take over, because she was so stressed out by the whole ordeal and didn’t know what she actually thought was the right thing to do. It was an extremely terrifying time for me. Until I was about 7 months pregnant, I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to both stay with my mom in her home and keep my son. By that point, I had actually planned on moving in with my dads mom, in case my mom wouldn’t allow me to stay with her if I didn’t give my son up to her brother and his wife. Eventually, I would ask her if I needed to begin the process of transferring to the school district that my grandmother lives within and she told me no, my son and I could stay.

I can’t even explain how relieved I was to hear her say that. She finally started to come around to the idea of being a grandmother (even if it was at the age of 35) around that time as well. I could see her getting more and more excited about all the cute baby things and the showers she helped plan. She even helped me paint the room that would eventually be the nursery. She went to birthing and parenting classes with me, took me to every checkup, and was just being amazingly supportive since we had most of the “what” worked out, and now could just focus on the “how”.

I went into labor while walking out of an ice cream shop with my mom (shoutout to chocolate chip cookie dough from U.D.F.). I was carrying a double scoop to our car, when I suddenly had the craziest, most amazingly satisfying sneeze ever. This was followed by a laughing fit as soon as we got into the car because I joked to her about the tragedy that would be a pregnant chick losing her desert. What was not satisfying was the discomfort of a weird discharge (apparently it was something described to me as mucus?! Gross..) and an increasingly uncomfortable tightness in the center of my stomach near my bellybutton. I had already gone through “false labor” once, because of a fall l had while walking down an icy sidewalk trying to get home from school one day. I was scheduled to be induced into labor that Tuesday (the UDF visit was on a Saturday afternoon), so I was confident that this was the real deal this time. Eventually the tightness turned into mostly painless contractions, so we went to the hospital.

Soon after we arrived, the nurses decided it was indeed time, and they proceeded to break the amniotic sack (which was an unpleasant and strange experience similar to a very large water balloon popping while inside of your lady parts). Of course, it was nothing compared to the hours of discomfort I had before finally demanding that an anesthesiologist come in RIGHT NOW and make it stop. The pain was 1000% not what I expected. I knew it would be awful, but I had never really tried to imagine the exact spot where the pain would be coming from. This was probably due to both my age and the fact that I’d never really had any sexual education, but I remember thinking, “of course there wouldn’t be any pain in the actual vagina at first, there’s a whole lot more that the baby has to pass through before it can even think about getting past that part”. In summery, “dilation” is indeed not referring to the vagina, it’s referring to the cervix.

The pain was concentrated into one tiny point in the center of my stomach. Had it been any lesser of a pain, I would almost say it was similar to menstrual cramping, or how I imagine being kicked in the balls would feel like. Unfortunately, it’s not even something you can scale, let alone describe very accurately to someone who’s never had the experience for themselves. If I had to try, I would say it was similar to someone grabbing your ovaries (if you’re a dude, imagine stomach / intestines / testicles maybe??) on either side with both hands, then slowly and simultaneously squeezing harder, pulling the two hands away from each other, and doing a wringing / twisting motion, then a release for a few short moments until it’s time for another contraction. Contractions become more frequent and intense with less cool down periods the closer you get to delivery.

When I began getting more intense contractions, I went from saying, “this fucking sucks this fucking sucks this fucking sucks”, all the way to promising a God I do not believe in that I would “never ever have sex again if you’ll just please please please make this stop right now”. Around 9 PM I got a medication that was supposed to help you relax in between contractions and to “take the edge off” of the pain (it did not). And by about 11 PM I was getting an epidural (the IV / medication they put in your spine to numb you below the torso). I was so worn out, and so relieved that I immediately fell asleep, only waking when a nurse would roll me over from time to time to check my dilation. By that I’m trying to politely say, “I woke up to someone’s hands on my shoulder, and then quickly realized that their fingers were also inserted into my vagina”. I was woken up around 3 AM to start pushing. Just before 4 AM, I was holding my baby while my mom said with tears in her eyes, “look what you did”.

We were able to leave the hospital about a day and a half later, and I then proceeded to have the most intense week of my life. When I imagine how horrible it must be to undergo torture, I imagine the way I felt on the fifth day after bringing my newborn baby home. I specifically remember the fifth day because I had a checkup with my doctor (actually for myself and my baby), and upon returning home after the visit I quietly snuck the car seat inside and set it down trying so hard I ensure that my son wouldn’t wake up. When I felt confident he wouldn’t, I went into the living room to lay down and to try and get a nap. After a bit of tossing and turning, I realized I miraculously couldn’t sleep. I was so exhausted; my eyes burned and hurt to even blink, my whole body was throbbing because of a broken tailbone that I wouldn’t know had been broken for another few months, and I was so delusional I started sobbing because of the overwhelming combination of hormones, chemicals, and emotions riddling me practically useless. When my mom realized what was going on, she offered to watch the baby for me while I tried to take a nap. Once I heard that he had woken up, it was a matter of minutes before I knew I’d never be able to sleep. I somehow managed to stay up another 8 hours after that.

Of course, once you become a parent you finally start to grasp the amount of respect you should have been showing your parents all along. My mom and I have such an awesome relationship now, it really is so much better than I ever imagined it could be. I have to think that some of that is because of all the hardships we’ve made it through together. It’s hard not to look back on the early years of me being a mother and not acknowledge that I was SO fucking lucky. I had free childcare, I had supportive parents, and I had almost infinite possibilities when it came to choosing a career. I can’t even begin to explain how amazing it is that I was supported the way I was / am. I don’t want to sound too much like a pageant queen, but I can’t ignore that everything I have now, I owe to my family, various programs that helped me finish high school, and unquestionably my son.

#blog #blogger #blogging #journal #diary #dear diary #teen #teen mom #mother #my life #life #teenager

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sidenotelife · 6 years

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You have to be sane to be a psychiatrist, an MS3 progress note.

Loosely based on a true story,

I have been meaning to write an MS3 progress note to my previous writings on dealing with anxiety and depression during med school (Here’s one general post I wrote about it, and here’s another about my running thoughts in the days leading up to Step 1). Most recently having been on a psychiatry rotation I’ve found myself introspecting about my own anxiety and depression. Sidenote - there may be some observer bias here, everytime I did SIGECAPS on a patient I found myself reflexively SIGECAPSing myself:

*Disclaimer* Medical Student Note - Educational Purposes Only

KN is a 29 YO M patient presents with concerns of worsening depression and anxiety in the setting of social stressors.

Sleep - Poor, having bad dreams causing nighttime awakenings.

Interest - Less interest in watching NBA due to fatigue at end of night.

Guilt - Patient endorses major feelings of guilt towards lack of energy to care for kids and be nice to wife.

Energy - Main complaint of patient is per patient “just feeling tired of this shit”. Patient mumbles incoherently to self when asked to elaborate.

Concentration - Objective scores on UWorld are low but patient says they are always low.

Appetite - Due to nausea has missed breakfast some mornings but no weight loss reported.

Psychomotor - Denies.

Suicidal ideation - Denies.

Patient endorses symptoms of anxiety, denies symptoms of mania or audio/visual hallucinations. Patient endorses alcohol use <14 drinks per week and denies tobacco/cocaine/opioid/benzo.

Patient has been seen by several psychiatrists and psychologists at CAPS for past 6 years. Current rx: 60 mg fluoxetine for 2+ yrs and has been on some psych meds for 6+ yrs. Past hx of suicidal ideation but no suicidal attempts. No past psychiatric hospitalizations.

No relevant medical history or surgical history. Social history is pertinent for wife and two young children of age 1 and 3 which serve as both a source of motivation for living and also a source of stress.

I think I found a lot of aspects of my psychiatry rotation challenging, but for me the hardest part was the self-imposed pressure of feeling like I need to look engaged. sidenote - This has been the most common MS3 struggle for me, the constant need to look engaged towards residents and attendings, but also with patients. It’s not that I’m not engaged. I mean sometimes I’m not engaged, but most of the day I’m pretty interested and I really really want to learn clinical medicine. My greatest priority is to learn how to talk to patients and I obsessively study the way different attendings talk to patients. It’s just my natural body language tends toward slouching or my eyes being half-closed. Sidenote within a sidenote - This is one thing that my introverted self likes about science. When I’m reading a paper or thinking about science nobody gives a shit how much or how little engaged I look, all that matters is how engaged I am. This sometimes makes it hard for me to be with patients because I not only have to be engaged which takes energy but I have to spend another subconscious amount of energy focused on thinking about my posture - Am I sitting up straight? Am I sitting up too straight? Am I thinking too much? Can they tell I’m thinking too much? FFFFFFFFFFFFF *head explodes* Anyways, on psychiatry more than other rotations I’ve felt pressure to be engaged with patients. It kind of makes sense, on psych there’s this patient sitting across from me telling me the exact progression of thoughts going through their head as they decided to down 30x tylenol with a handle of vodka. And this pressure to be engaged slowly built itself on top of me and weighed me down. Slowly robbing me of my energy to engage with patients, but more importantly with myself and those around me.

And this was seeping into my home life too. On the weekdays I could force myself to wake up and hustle over to make it to rounds on time, but on the weekends I just felt drained. Lazy. Not an emotion I’m used to, if you can imagine. I struggled just to get out of bed to take care of my kids, leaving my wife to bear the brunt of the additional to childcare responsibilities. Let’s just say I am not the only one in our house glad my psych rotation is done. Sidenote - I would at this point like to thank psychiatrists. Not only for the care they have provided me, but also for the thankless work they do. Sidenote within a sidenote - My favorite attending thus far in med school is a psychiatry attending. I loved him because he was so passionate about the wellbeing of his patients that he managed to inspire a cynic like myself to believe slightly more that it was possible to deliver patient-centered care despite the challenges provided by the system.

Anyways, the further I progress through MS3/4 clinical years the more I see what people become frustrated with regarding these years of training. For me what frustrates me most about the clinical years is the same thing that pissed me off about the pre-clinical years, that progression is time-based and not competency-based, thus making it a huge time-sink for fast-learners and a perfect setup for failure for slow-BUT ABLE-learners.

Sidenote - here is a quick MUSC-specific change I would make to streamline the training process. I would eliminate family medicine as a mandatory rotation. I would shorten the following rotations from 6 weeks to 4 weeks because in my opinion the primary objective for a medical student that is not interested in these specialties is to gain a broad exposure to these specialties: surgery, OB-GYN, pediatrics, and psychiatry. I would expand internal medicine into 2x 4 week rotations, one inpatient and one outpatient, and also neurology from a 3 week to a 4 week rotation. I would make all the 3 week selectives into 2 week selectives with the primary goal to be career exploration. This would take the third year curriculum from 48 weeks down to 34 weeks. I cannot speak much to MS4 yet, but I imagine my take would be put those extra 14 weeks + half a year of MS4 (27 weeks) towards interviews/away rotations/subinternship/research. Combine this with my plan to shorten the first two years of pre-clinical med school into 1.5 yrs and boom 3 yr med school. I really think more med schools should test this approach, a lot of time spent during med school gives me the impression of being low-yield to actually being a doctor.

..How did I even get here, sorry to everyone who signed up to read about psychiatry. Shoutout psychiatrists.

see you on the other side,

from ken

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bajancopywritingunicorn-blog · 6 years

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Top Ten Bajan Christmas Gifts 2017

I know you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seat and I’m sure you’re gonna love the gifts on this year’s list of Bajan products. Sure, you could buy anything that’s imported but there’s something so special about getting a gift that was made right here in Barbados. Let’s get right into it then.

10. Sophisticated Centrepiece - Jalans Creations - One of the most important parts of the Christmas celebration in Barbados and around the world is having Christmas lunch with the family. Perhaps one of the most underestimated but memorable elements of this feast is the centrepiece, so why not give the gift of decor this Christmas? Whether you have a complete tablescape planned or you prefer the minimalist approach, your centrepiece will be a focal point at the dinner table. Before I go any further, you need to know that Bajans are veryyy crtitical. They will have no problem telling people that your table “had look pop down” or “stink”. Five years from now I guarantee they will still be talking about it. That’s why I was so relieved to stumble upon this Blue Bouquet by Lana Nurse, founder of Jalan’s Creations. I kind of wish I could have one in every room. It makes me feel like I was spirited away to a fairytale sprinkled with magic dust. Just gorgeous! If you want one you better hurry though because Lana tells me you have til December 21st to place your order.

9. Vegan Cork Bags - Ole Luck - Guys, cork bags are a thing now and they look so cool. I have to admit, this was the first time I ever heard of Vegan bags. Accessories can be vegan now? I couldn’t help but wonder how they taste. Now before we start chowing down, I want you to rest assured that buying a woman a bag for Christmas is always a good idea. Still, what makes these bags so special are the fact that they’re environmentally responsible. No harmful plastics and for the animal lovers among us, no leather. Don’t ask me how, but a guy by the name of Andy makes all these gorgeous bags by hand. If you’re feeling really patriotic, you can get a wristlet with 246 or the broken trident on it, but I fell in love with the Wayuu purse. The Wayuu are indigenous people living in Colombia and Northwest Venezuela, described as the people of the sun, sand and wind. Wayuu women make a specific type of woven bag with unique vibrant patterns reflected in the sash on these Ole Luck beauties. Fun fact: The Wayuu language, which is called Wayuuniki, is part of the Arawak family.

8. Crocheted Bikini - Chain Loops Crochet - My gawd! What can I say about this talented diva? Owner Jessica Martindale creates customized fashion and soft home furnishings, while crocheting her way into your heart. Now the first time I saw her crocheted bikinis I knew I had to have one of her pieces. I ordered two. Forget your grandmother’s doilies. Jessica designs one-of-a-kind crocheted jumpers, skirts, dresses, chic baby blankets, earrings and even slippers. Yes, you heard me. She crochets frikkin slippers. But back to this sexy bikini tho. I’m not even telling you to buy this for someone else. This thing will make your life ten times sexier. You worked hard all year so you best believe you deserve it. Yasss!

7. Gold glitter Barbados Throw Pillow - ChicFit Inc - This cute little cushion stopped me right in my tracks. This ain't no run-of-the-mill throw pillow. You can decorate any space with it, no matter the colour scheme. Classy level 1000! Listen to me. ChicFit is not messing around. They put a dang Barbados map on a black pillow and glitterized it in gold. What the what?! This throw cushion will change your life so you're welcome. Just gaze upon its glory. Also, can I just say how much I love ChicFit's logo? It speaks to me. It says “I love yoga times infinity”... or someting* so.

6. Deck The Halls - Classy Raggs Interiors - You have no idea what this means but you will. The brainchild of Ana Gill, Classy Raggs will leave you in stitches. If you’ve ever imagined what a home makeover should look like, then Ana should have her own TV show. Her work is phenomenal. She creates bespoke furniture, soft furnishings, you name it, she can bring your dream to life. Just look at what she did to this yacht! Yachtastic!

5. Smell My Nuts - West Indian Soap Co. - Not to be left out of the game, there’s definitely something for the guys too. As gross as it sounds, this was one of the most hilarious Christmas gifts I’ve stumbled upon thus far. There’s Man Soap, Man Wash and Man Lotion. Your man does not need another tie. Stop it. He wants you to get creative and think outside the box. Get him a gift that’s both playful and practical. Go ahead! Smell deez nuts... coconuts, that is ;)

4. A Pinterest Box - HomeMade Luxe - If you’re heavily into DIY and crafting or you’re all thumbs like me and need detailed instructions to make anything, then this is the gift for you or someone you know. Former Barbados athlete Keitha Moseley-Dendy, The Bajan Texan, as she calls herself, started this business from a simple idea to bring Pinterest into real life. Stop pinning and start crafting, folks. Take all those cute projects you love online and decorate every room in your house with them. Brilliant idea! One might wonder where the mother of twin girls could possibly find the time but she spent many nights on her living room floor packing hundreds of boxes to keep her customers happy. That type of sweat equity deserves some kind of award. Now that HomeMade Luxe is finally available in Barbados, don’t lag!* In minutes you can have the sexiest pinned projects in your home. This month’s box is a Starburst Mirror. Who doesn’t love a gift that is both fun and functional? Shoot, you could even get some friends together and throw a Pinning Party.

3. Pillowgrams - Simmone Thorpe started thinking the other day about how wasteful cards are. To be honest, I never really know what to do after I read a card someone has given me. It’s so pretty I can’t bear to throw it away but I can’t really hang it up either so it invariably gets shoved down in a drawer somewhere, only to be found months later. You can’t enjoy the beauty of a greeting card from inside a drawer. Simmone wanted to find a way to make the memory last in a way that’s visible and functional. That’s how the Say it With a Pillowgram message pillow was born. This gift can be cute, funny, inspirational, sentimental, you can even add a photo of you and your loved one to create a wonderful keepsake. Pelt* a few of these customizable throw pillows into the mix to enhance your decor. Ladies, don’t we always try to stop at two and end up buying six?

2. Galaxy Eyeshadow - Fenty Beauty - This one was tough, I put this at the top of my personal Christmas Gift List because Rihanna. Seriously, though, what girl on earth doesn’t want eyeshadow that shines like diamonds and reflects all the colours of the milky way? I want my face to sparkle like the night sky too. Basically giving any gift from the Fenty Beauty line would make any woman in the world scream, from Match Stix to lip gloss to Trophy Wife highlighter. I’m dreaming of a glitter eyeshadow Christmas.

1. But First... Prosecco - West Indian Soap Co. - Start clutching your pearls ladies because this next gift will change your life. You know that moment when you never thought something was even possible and then all of a sudden Jesus and the whole universe answered your silent, unspoken prayers? This is basically what the But First Prosecco line of decadence is all about. Drowning your sorrows takes on a whole new meaning when you can literally bathe in your favourite sparkling wine. Cleopatra bathed in milk so the mere thought of bathing in Prosecco and smelling like it just tickles me pink. I can’t wait to be drenched in Prosecco.

Stay tuned for full features of some of these wonderful Bajan businesses. Big shoutout to the members of Women Making Money Work ladies networking group.

Bonus*

Bajan Glossary

If you’re not a Bajan here’s a key to the terms you need to know.

Had look pop down/ had look stink: This means that whatever you were talking about looked terrible, not just bad. Basically pop down and stink are interchangeable.

Someting: This means something. Someting so: This means something along those lines.

Don’t lag: This means don’t get caught napping/ don’t delay.

Pelt: This means throw, but forcefully.

#Christmas Gifts TopTen Bajan Barbados marketing

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