#always a great evening

[i-let-my-friend-choose-my-name]

Be prepare for the evening

#cozyblr #warm and comfy #always a great evening #hufflepuff #wwdits #are you also waiting season 4 ?? #love december #nothing better than a warm banket #perfect duo : perfect show+blanket

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ionomycin]

2023 favorites

#artists on tumblr #so colorful this year #the first pieces i have planned for 2024 are more horror themed again #doing my best to relax until the new year #i love freelancing but i haven't had a single vacation this year #so trying to actually just... not draw for a few days :') #i always feel guilty when i don't #but no matter how much you love something you need to do other things too #be a person outside of it #even if the algorithms hate that #i hope everyone has a great rest of the year #especially sending strength and good vibes to anyone working customer service over the holidays #been there #i wish a very “step on a lego” for any customer being shitty to you

[ruporas]

kiss the pain away

#vashwood #trigun #trigun stampe #vash the stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #ep 10 was crazy bc vashwood was literally the plot goodbye #i like how the most intimate moment between these two was in the goddamn sewers #i feel like that alone symbolizes so much in their relationship. im half joking BUT ITS JUST LIKE #the SPONTANEITY the PRIVACY they get in such an open Space while being literally chased / hunted after.... #and vash is out here showing his scars.............. and ill always lose my mind that they gave this spotlight to wolfwood instead of #meryl and milly like in the previous versions. i dont know how else to read this other than that wolfwood is the romantic interest of stamp #it makes sense even aside from this scene. u know. wolfwood was technically the damsel in distress in ep 5-6 and vash saved/helped him. #and who stayed in the bedroom with vash................. #who rushed to his side when he got shot...... with that worried ass expression.... #i dont have anything smart to say at all im just gushing over vashwood thru stampede bc its just so blatant. and its great that its blatant #bc it was blatant in trimax too. like so blatant. the romance was written in every chapter they showed up together #god #ive never witnessed a pairing more canon without being spoken as such its soooooo much theyre so much #ruporas art

[theandrosaur]

I'm doodling them while I watch the series and get inspired in the meantime.

Did I already said Cole?

#ninjago #lego ninjago #cole brookstone #kai smith #zane julien #glaciershipping #if you want it to be #my art #Jay had a great arc in skybound #i'm always a bit reluctant when romances are in the foreground of plot but #he was cute and so fucking stupid at the same time #hands of time now and I'm so SO happy Cole is back to normal #even if they did not explain HOW he's back to normal ?????

[ryllen]

A question I have just recently,

can Sebek handle spicy?

this is what i generally think of fae.

tho i think,

lilia knows spicy spices from his travel.

even tho in dragon form, malleus breathes fire from his mouth, and fire is hot, it might be like the kind of fire that doesn't hurt him in the first place

sebek father might bring spicy spice from human world with him, but since i think of him as a mellow man, he might not be interested in spicy food in the first place

#honestly it makes me wonder all the nrc students ability to handle spiciness & i wish everyone would start putting them into tiers #twst #twisted wonderland #do i tag this as sebek #i do want to know what others think of him #sebek zigvolt #i think the octas would be very bad at it #but floyd probably keeps on challenging it so he gains tolerance over it #riddle would be very bad with it #ace would be pretty good #but deuce would be a little less #or do u think punk him would dare other punks on spicy food #who would shed tears #who would break a sweat #who would eat like it's nothing #who would wail asking the great seven to take them to the after world #i am just wondering bcs of the rabbit sausage roll in deuce hometown #leona who never lift a finger finally break a sweat from spicy food #who knows we even see tears in his eyes while he endures it silently #can vil stay beautiful eating spicy food #despite his tough claim can epel handle spicy #anyhow do u know there's samyang 1/2 spicy now #that's the only one i can eat without suffering like actually enjoying it #idia i feel like he would wrinkle from spicy food #but what if he is some connoisseur of instant noodles so he had been eating spicy ones quite a lot #my brother always love to see me suffer over spiciness

[ilk-insolence]

Raph Is A Great Strategist

Numerous times in the show Raph has shown to have a preference for straightforwardly punching his problems away rather than think up a more complex solution. Like how his immediate fix to getting Mayhem out of the mirror in Mystic Library was to punch everything in the bathroom but the mirror. However, when Raph understands the situation requires more in depth strategy, he’s shown to be an incredibly capable tactician.

(long post ahead!)

In nearly all the plot heavy episodes like Shadow of Evil, Many Unhappy Returns, and the season finales, Raph gets moments where he’s highlighted for his strategic thinking. In Insane in the Mama Train, he’s the one who figures out which eyeball-button goes to the front car with the dark armor, because “‘it was the only button [the Foot Clan] didn’t want me to press!’” [21:05]. He’s also the one who came up with the scheme to defeat all the (known) combatants in the train, with Leo specifically attributing Raph as the deviser during their mind meld [19:46]. In Many Unhappy Returns, after spending a single night waylaying the Shredder, Raph formulated a plan using all the tricks the team learned, seamlessly transitioning the mystic collar Leo acquired into it [19:53], to defeating the Shredder. Additionally, he’s repeatedly called for a retreat during fights, like in Shadow of Evil, Shreddy or Not (Finale pt 2), and the movie, when he can tactically recognize that a battle couldn’t be won. Each time, the show/movie implied that that was the right call, for the family to lose the fight but win the war.

And it’s not just that Raph is good at strategy when he’s pushed to be more serious; the show characterizes him as passionate about creating plans, he enjoys doing it. Literally in the first episode, Mystic Mayhem, after the turtles’ initial plan failed of getting Splinter out of the living room to touch his Do-Not-Touch Cabinet, Raph immediately started devising a new plan that involved “ten chickens [and] a gallon of rubber cement” [9:35]. It was convoluted, sure, and they didn’t end up using it, but it was inventive and the opposite of reluctant. This is also shown in Bug Busters, where Raph planned out dousing Mikey in honey to attract the oozequitoes [2:52]; Snow Day, with the idea to freeze Ghost Bear like in Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4; and Raph’s Ride-Along (and also Bad Hair Day), where Mind Raph created multiple schemes to get the criminals arrested. The show wouldn’t have made Raph be so creative with his plans if they were trying to characterize him as someone who didn’t like strategizing.

So does why Raph do stupid shit sometimes where he doesn’t think things through at all? Well, even though Raph is good at strategy and enjoys doing it, it’s clear his immediate impulse is still “punch the problem in the face”. In fact, all the turtle boys contain the fascinating dichotomy of being incredibly smart in some areas, and the dumbest teenagers alive in others. Just look at Donnie. It’s also how Raph is a loving protective older brother, and the guy who shoved Leo into a wall so hard he disappeared in one frame for shits and giggles (The Mutant Menace x). None of this means that Raph is bad at strategy though.

tldr: Yeah, Raph has a lot of dumb and, frankly, insane moments in the show, but he’s still an incredible tactician who’s plans consistently saved his family and sometimes the world. He's a great strategist.

#I will die on Strategist Raph hill #i'd even go so far to say that Raph is the tactician of the team instead of Leo #because compared to how many times Raph /actually/ plans his actions to how many times Leo does it #Raph would win by a long shot #Leo to me is honestly more an improviser #he's also repeatedly looked to Raph for the plans when they're in trouble than come up with strategies himself #Mikey and donnie do this too. they look up to him as their big brother leader and IDEAS GUY #I always read that as the show saying Raph is the team's planner #AND HE'S GREAT AT IT #I'm fine with strategist!Leo #I can see how it happened #BUT RAPH BEING BAD AT STRATEGIES? RAPH? #WHAT #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #analysis #raphael hamato #rise raph #rise of the tmnt #HE'S AMAZING I LOVE HIM #rottmnt movie

[ca-3]

Naturally, he got one for RenRen too 👕✨️ (dumb doodles again...)

#persona 5 #ann takamaki #ryuji sakamoto #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #ca3 art #shujin trio my beloves #Twitter making me doodle dumb shit again lol #no but im glad people liked this hc lol #someone else on there made something too!! it was a great time!! #definition of 'he's a little confused but he's got the spirit' #takamaki ann #sakamoto Ryuji #persona 5 royal #pegoryu if you squint i suppose 😶‍🌫️ #always sneaking in the agenda lol #perhaps even... Pegoryuann?? 🤯

[inkskinned]

it takes a really long time to unlearn but there's no such thing as "cheating" or "half-assing" being a person. if you need to leave the cabinet doors open, leave them open. microwave your tea. sit down in the shower. buy the eggmaker. use your phone to calculate tip.

it's mostly fake posterity rules. who cares if you microwave your dinners. who cares if you use instant coffee. who cares if you stop watching the show that got boring. we all have a different set of skills and a different life and taking care of yourself is fucking hard.

at the end of your life there will be no final scoreboard. nobody is going to judge you because you brushed your teeth in the shower. there will be no final count of the number of times you had the same meal five nights in a row. there will be no fanfare or party because you won at being a person - and no one will be disappointed that you never understood the point of using paper towels to dry your hands off after washing them.

yeah, in this world, people will put up a fuss. i've noticed some of the biggest fusses are over what you'll put in/on your body. the fact that i will regularly eat deli meat straight out of the bag makes a lot of people genuinely concerned for me. but here's the thing: sometimes that's the only way i'm getting any protein. my doctor says i am doing fine. i'm sticking to my weird snacks and calling it deconstructed charcuterie.

they'll say they're horrified because you take a shortcut. that's fine. it's just that it looks like a shortcut to them because they're on a different life path. these kinds of things stand out to them as important. that's fine too. but for you? you've got other things that already make you pretty hard working. and these tiny things - well, they're just clutter on your journey.

#before any motherfucker is like <3 #''i know more about this and it IS WRONG to do this THING'' #shhhhh #unless ur a doctor and a patient has specifically asked... shut the FUCK up dude #one of the ways my life has changed in the last few years is like #taking coffee for granted #isn't something i can do #can you stand up for the entirety of making a meal? i can't always #and having some pompousass person be like #MICROWAVE THE WATER? FOR TEA? like . yeah actually i've been in prison for it ever since #''it tastes different!!!'' cool. it's not going into yOUR body. #i personally don't ever make hot chocolate with water. only ever oat/soy milk #but i wouldn't be like ... SIR. I WILL NOW JUDGE THEE #it's just like ableism all the way down innit #ableism and classism and #the expectation of the mental load as a form of being ''good'' #also. besides the like. pots and [redacted medical information] #im doing GREAT actually #>:) i have visible abs even when not flexing #it's bc god prefers me as a lesbian n has rewarded me lately for presenting more openly

[just-null-cult]

im so mad at u omg

how dare u make my noritoshi obsession 10 times worse

Noritoshi spews his true feelings when you're upset with him. Similar to a very eager puppy trying to regain your favor by any means...... but realizes what he says and blames you for turning him into a fool. Another downside for him is that he won't take his words back in fear of you getting the wrong idea.

you're just a bully that he hopes will forget about the embarrassing words he blurted out.

hes simultaneously reeling and embarrassed. is this what happens when you make your love upset? does that imply he's your love?!

#noritoshi #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #heh #coughs out blood #FAM THIS ALL INDOCTRINATION SUCCESS #NORITOSHI OBSESSIONS ARE SO FUCKING FR HERE #IM JUST PUTTING WTV WAS IN MY MIND ONTO PAPER RIGHT HERE.. #i imagine he likes the thought of you being obsessed with him bc that implies your attention is always on him #Meaning that you wont leave him. that youll stay at his side just like he'll stay by yours. #if you're more obsessive over him. he'll slowly worsen to be just as if not more into you.. #like to the point of feeling his own stomach tying itself in knots when youre not in the same room as him #ohh.. and the feeling is horrendous if youre ever upset with him.. even the slightest bit upset. #he just wants be loved by someone who he can call his own and hes willing to go through great lengths for that. #<- pushing puppy boy noritoshi agenda #but thats enough of me talking of yan noritoshi. tysm I'll be here for the rest of the month #AND NOTICE HOW HE LOVES COFFEE BUT DITCHED IT THE SECOND IT TURNED TO YOU BC YOURE MORE IMPORTANT TO HIM THAN SOME FUCKING DRINKGNFNKFKVKV #suiana

[stealingpotatoes]

luke and biggs… thoughts?

many thoughts + it means luke has a type

#its so insane when u think abt it as a 'they never acted on it' love story #like u finally reunite w ur bestie and childhood crush u think its gonna be great finally flying togehter properly #u think maybe u'll say smthn when u get back from this if u survive #u dont even consider that HE might not survive #and so on the same day u become a hero to the galaxy u lose the one last part of home u had left #and u know its not the same as leia but my god ur planet might as well have just blown up #cause theres nothing left of the place u called home. nobody to share ur childhood memories with #the one escaped tatooine first. the one u always loved. hes gone #and worst of all nowhere to put that overwhelming love you've been keeping inside all this time. it has to stay in ur chest forever #luke skywalker #thanks for the ask! #biggsluke #skylighter #< also it has a sick secondary ship name

[skywalker-swift]

btw cause I think some people still need to hear this, but the rose colored glasses coming off and the ‘revision’ to the meanings of her songs about joe was always gonna happen. with travis around or not. so saying she should focus on her new relationship is not the dunk you were thinking it is. like I keep saying it but she wrote him into her world, she included him in the world she wrote music in, and when she needed to, she wrote him out. why would he get to stay when he hasn’t earned that anymore? she would have kept him in, she even would have left the bad stuff in a box, but he didn’t seem like he wanted that part of her life. please can we all just realize that this is just such a normal reaction and end to a relationship and Taylor doesn’t need to ‘take the high road’ or whatever just because she’s in a new relationship. the reckoning of what happened was always going to be closing the chapter of the story she wrote for them. she’s releasing it whether you’re ready to reckon with her or not.

#she was doing it already in you’re losing me #there are so many parallels to rep songs in those lyrics #parallels to other heartbreak songs like the Great War #even the moment I knew with the party line for me #I think so many of you just haven’t been in relationships that have ended in this kind of heartbreak #where you are pulling yourself from this person #and they have left pieces of them behind just like you have left pieces of you behind #but it’s not always the part you want them to remember about you and it’s not always the parts that you would have wanted from them #like I think he left a lot of doubt in her and I know how that feels #kate talks #Taylor swift #let me be parasocial i guess

[kexing]

NOT ME THE SERIES 2023 REWATCH: episode 14

#nmrewatch23 #not me #not me the series #thai bl #mjblr #userjamiec #THE END #thank you to everyone who went through this journey with me #two years ago and now #it was really fun rewatching it and giffing it #i cried i laughed i value this show even more now #it is. as always has been. an utter joy to witness great bls

[otaku553]

Absolutely criminal of them to give us only one case of ryutaro and no interactions at all between ryutaro and ryuunosuke. Like come on we all know ryuunosuke would absolutely be ryutaro’s biggest hype man

#dgs2 spoilers #dai gyatuken saiban #the great ace attorney #naruhodo ryunosuke #naruhodo ryutaro #inspired by how every time I go back home and visit my friends at the state college #my qpp will always. always find some way to brag about me #right in front of my face like my love my dearest bestie….. I don’t even go here

[tubchunk]

sorry but q!tubbo seeing q!bagi go up in ninho herself and then after a bit passes, he starts panicking when she doesn't come back down, and when she appears at the spawn waystone, he instantly runs up to her saying that he thought he lost her. she was the only other person who woke up back on quesadilla island when he did and if she was gone he couldn't bear it. blue team doesn't leave anyone behind after all, and by the end of it, q!bagi was now family.

#his separation anxiety has now extended to all of soul(gay)fire as well this is great news #q!tubbo WILL cling onto people more now after purgatory but he will not admit it #but he will always need to know where morning crew and the rest of soul(gay)fire are #even extending to some bolas members like q!phil but muscle memory of the last two weeks will draw him to his team #its them first #qsmp tubbo #qsmp

[luzho]

sokka takes zuko to see THE BOULDERRR!!

i’ve been wanting to redraw that screenshot of sokka screaming and the boulder flexing in the same shot, but what about if ZUKO was also there! and he liked the boulder too!!

[ID: This is a digital drawing of Sokka and Zuko sitting next to each other and cheering for The Boulder, drawn in warm colors and against a green background with light bokeh effects. On the right, the Boulder smiles with open arms, shirtless and gleaming in the spotlight. On the left, Zuko (wearing septum and snake bite piercings, earrings, short hair, and olive Earth Kingdom robes) sits at the edge of his seat, flustered, wide eyed and with his mouth open; while a blushed and teary-eyed Sokka next to him (wearing earrings and his usual hairstyle and Water Tribe clothing) cheers with his arms raised. Behind him, distorted all-caps text reads “LET’S GOOO BOULDERRR!!”. End ID]

#zukka #the boulder #my art #DAMN drawing gleaming and sweaty buff guys sure is hard eh dont get me wrong tho i am VERY satisfied with this ///-/// #and the colors and text here are way better executed i think! but most importantly... THIS WAS A FUN AND GAY FANART THURSDAY! #zuko #sokka #atla #zukka nation #zukka fanart #also: i'm just gonna draw my zukos with piercings always and even in canon tbh... he looks great!! #same to sokka: HE'S AN EARRINGS GUY!!! have you seen how he is with trinkets and shopping? that's my guy! of course he gets earrings asap