#am i awake? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paper-lilypie · 3 months

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detachment || disconnection

#fnaf #ball pit au #michael afton #fnaf gregory #fanart #are you asleep?#your chest rises too slow to know #I’m just making sure #I can’t tell anymore #I don’t know anymore #are you awake?#I can’t tell #am I awake?#or am I still back there #hello? Mike?#hello?#art: end of the line

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puppetdaily · 11 months

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Monster from the music video for Am I Awake? by They Might Be Giants, dir. Jack Fields

#monster #am i awake?#they might be giants #music video

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lovekaikim · 27 days

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I don't know if this is a fever dream or reality

youtube

Just watch the video. You'll see what I mean.

#kpop #exo #d.o. kyungsoo #popcorn d.o #help #someone help kyungsoo #help me #am i on drugs #send help #this is not real #am i awake?#Youtube

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youwontunderstand · 1 year

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Have some thoughts.

I see so much of myself in Jake. So much that it makes me sad. To see his intelligence, his fun interests, the polite pity for him from others, the loneliness. The desperation and erratic behavior, wanting anyone, anyone at all just to notice him, see him hurting.

How he was old. Alone. No family. No one to really talk too. So he made stuff up in his head. If things had gone this way. Maybe if it had been like this. Things would be different.

I do the same myself, granted in a much more high fantasy way. I'm not very old, but i feel anceint. And i feel like, the way things are going now, i may just be old and alone like he is.

I feel like... there is this club. This group in the world of Truly Lonely people. That much is obvious now, with socail media. All lonely together. But I'm talking about the ones that lurk, the ones that never leave comments, are quiet, keep their heads down and don't draw attention. Why would we? No one looks at us anyway.

So few understand, and the ones that do, are hard to find. You can find me in my room, and I'm sure there are others like me, but we hide. We can't talk to each other. We are so far away, so far removed from the soceity everyone seems to be thriving in.

And those people forget not everyone gets a happy ending. Not everyone gets to find somone to be close too. No one wants to imagine such a thing. Sometimes people end up with nothing at all.

Pitied smiles. Quiet rooms. Reflecting on how it got to be this way. I'm not scared of being alone. I'm used to that.

No, for me, the real worry, the fear Jake gives me is;

In the end, will I ask myself the same question?

#im thinking of ending things #just some personal thoughts about the book/film #i have trouble articulating these things #im fine really #i should stress that #but these are things i think about #i did start to think about ending things when i was far too young #but im still here #the cat #don't look #am i awake?

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mortifiedandawesome · 2 months

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They Might Be Giants - Am I Awake? - dir. by Alex Italics (official TMBG...

#am i awake?#am i awake #tmbg #they might be giants #john linnell #john flansburgh #alex italics

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nothings-wholey · 1 year

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mhhh

#am I awake?

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manyfandomsonelog · 6 months

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What people don’t tell you about watching shows is that after you finish watching a show there’s no more show for you to watch. Think about that.

#hello it’s me caffeine Logan and I am very awake this Saturday night and I want more Blue Eye Samurai #log’s logs

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eelo · 11 months

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#russia #ukraine #ukraine war #russia mllitary coup #spn #destiel #i love you meme #am i doing this right?#i cant believe this is happening #i was about to go to sleep but guess i am awake all night now following these news #current news #world news

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chaosandmarigolds · 8 days

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Reader, after preforming CPR on Simon: don’t worry I didn’t take off your mask

Simon, groggy: …?

Reader, panicking: well ya know I thought it was like a Star Wars thing where you can’t take off that one guys mask because his-his honor and he would be disowned and I didn’t want you to be disowned and I didn’t wanna-so I just lifted it up a lil bit

Simon:

Reader: your honor is intact

#I am very much awake past my bedtime #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley #simon riley fanfic #simon riley x you #coco's chaos <3 #cod x you #simon riley x reader #cod fluff #Simon ghost incorrect quotes #ghost humor #ghost incorrect quotes #cod incorrect quotes

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lookliketaylorswift · 1 month

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what i think this album did was separate people who treat taylor as taylor swift the human vs taylor swift the brand

#i am not fully awake to put this properly but it's make sense a lot #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd

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mogsue · 11 months

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Admittedly

So very many nothings going on right now, it very much makes me want to run away. Today, I am mostly just tired of pain and the (literal) confusion in my mind the constant pain causes. I always feel muddled now, as if I am smashed and flattened by a mortar, the pestal is my own body ~ it doesn’t ever stop though. Always with the smashing with zero results, it just starts over everyday, every…

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#am I awake?#fibromyalgia #WTF am I doing now?

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inkskinned · 11 months

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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

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jq37 · 7 days

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In Sophomore Year, Adaine's nightmare vision of herself is in mourning garments, speaking to her underlying fear that, as an elf, she'll outlive everyone she cares about and have to face forever alone.

In the finale of Junior Year, Aelwyn says that she hopes that she and Adaine can eat ice cream and do magic together forever and Adaine with no trace of insincerity agrees. She still has to face forever, but not alone. Not anymore.

#adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 #d20 spoilers #'my dear'#like are you kidding me???#i'm so messed up about the sisters tonight #that's why I'm awake at 2:30 AM #(yes yes I know elves can age normally outside of falinel don't @ me)#(the narrative presented this as a fear Adaine has so I'm engaging with that ok?)

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youwontunderstand · 1 month

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If you cracked open my husk

What would you see?

Would you see openess and trust,

Or maybe just the worst parts of me

Would you find agates and gems?

Glittering eyes and dripping blood?

Maybe a tooth and a gum

Or a vain finely spun