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innuendostudios · 5 years

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Here’s How to Radicalize a Normie, a video essay on how the Alt-Right and their fellow travelers recruit. Clocking in at 41 minutes, 6756 words, 633 individual drawings, and 27 sources (including three full books), it is by far the longest and most heavily-researched video in The Alt-Right Playbook. I am very tired.

It took so long to put this behemoth together that my Patreon started to dip. So, maybe a little more than usual, if you want to keep seeing videos like these, please consider backing me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, your friend Gabe is starting to worry you.

Gabe’s always been just, you know, a regular guy. Not very political. He likes video games, sci-fi, comics, Star Wars, and anime. White guy shit. The only offbeat thing about him is you suspect there’s like a 20% chance he’s a furry. For all intents and purposes, Gabe is a normie.

But recently Gabe’s been spending a lot of time on some radically conservative forums, and listening to radically conservative podcasts, and picking some radically conservative arguments with you and your friends. You never would have expected this, not from Gabe, and, given the speed it’s happened, it’s worrying to think where it might be headed.

How have the Alt-Right gotten their hooks into your friend?

If you’ve ever known a Gabe, this video is for you. Here’s How to Radicalize a Normie.

Step 1: Identify the Audience

What you need to know before we begin is: around 2013, the Nazis went online.

Hate groups in the US, as tracked by the Southern Poverty Law Center, had been growing in number since the noughts, but, between 2012 and 2014, they dropped by almost a quarter. Patriot groups dropped by over a third. However, hate crimes stayed about the same. Radical conservatism was not shrinking, but decentralizing. Still radical, still often violent, but now full of white nationalist nomads unlikely to join a formal organization.

This didn’t make them harmless. What it did was protect their asses from the typical hate group cycle: getting the public’s attention, making allies in conservative media, swelling their numbers, and then eventually disgracing themselves with failures, infighting, and, often enough, members committing horrific acts of violence, which come with social and sometimes legal consequences for all the other members.

So the Alt-Right and their fellow travelers these days don’t so much have members. They have hashtags, followers, viewers, and subscribers. This insulates them from their own audience. If Gabe, as a member of that audience, were to go out and commit a crime on their behalf, there’d be little doubt they had a hand in radicalizing him, but it’d be very hard to claim they told him to do it. On some of these sites, where Gabe spends hours and hours of his day, he’s never created an account or left a comment; the people radicalizing him don’t even know he’s there.

This distributed nature is what makes the Alt-Right, and the movements connected to it, unique. (You may remember a notable proof-of-concept for this strategy.) Doing almost everything online has, as compared with traditional hate movements, dramatically increased their reach and inoculated them from consequence. The trade-off, as we will see, is a lack of control.

And so we come to Gabe.

Gabe exists at the intersection of the kinds of people the Alt-Right is looking for - straight white cis men who feel emasculated by modern society, primarily, though they do make exceptions - and the kinds of people who are vulnerable to recruitment. Gabe fits the first profile in that he got bullied in high school, and often feels he has to hide his nerdy side for fear of getting ridiculed. The Alt-Right also has success with men who can’t get laid or recently got divorced or feel anxious about an influx of non-white people in their community. These things can make one feel like less than the confident white man they’re “supposed” to be. And it’s the closest they will ever come to being minoritized.

Regarding the second profile, it’s important to know that Gabe is not categorically different from you or me. He’s a cishet white dude - his problems are not unique. There isn’t a ton of research into the demography of the Alt-Right, but there may be a higher-than-average chance Gabe has a history of being abused or comes from a broken home. You don’t know if it’s true of Gabe, he’s never said. But most abuse survivors don’t become Nazis. The things that make people like Gabe recruitable tend to be situational: it happens often during periods of transition, as dramatic as the death of a loved or as benign as moving to a new city. Things that make people ask big life questions. Gabe has concerns like economic precarity, not knowing his place in a changing world, stressful working conditions. In other words, Gabe is suffering under late capitalism, same as everyone, and it’s entirely plausible he could have gone down the path to becoming a Leftist.

This is not to make an “economic anxiety” argument: the animating force of the Far Right is and always has been bigotry. But the Alt-Right targets Gabe by treating his “economic anxiety” as one of many things bigotry can be sold as a solution to. It is their aim that, when dissatisfied white men go looking for answers, they find the Alt-Right before they find us.

Step Two: Establish a Community

Were Gabe pledging an old-school hate movement, there would probably be a recruiter to usher him into an existing community. But that’s the kind of formalized interaction modern extremists try to avoid. Online extremism has many points of entry, and everybody’s journey is unique, so rather than be comprehensive we will focus on what are, in my estimation, the two most common pathways: the Far Right creates a community Gabe is likely to stumble into, or infiltrates a community Gabe is already in.

The stumble-upon method has two main branches, one of which is just “Gabe ends up on a chan board,” which we’ve already done a video about. The other is kind of the polar opposite of 4chan’s cult of anonymity: Gabe ends up in the fandom of a Far Right thought leader.

These folks are charismatic media personalities (that’s charismatic according to Gabe’s tastes, not ours; I don’t understand it, either). These personalities may gain traction on any number of platforms, from podcasts to reportage to blogging, though the most effective platform for redpilling is, and yes I am biting the hand that feeds me, YouTube. They may get Gabe’s attention through fairly standard means, like talking about or even generating controversy to get themselves trending, while some of the more committed will employ dubious SEO tactics like clickbait, google bombing, and data voids (just pause for definitions, we don’t have time).

What they tend to have in common, especially the most accessible ones, is that they don’t present themselves as entry points to the radical Right. In fact, many did not set out to be Far Right thought leaders, and may not think of themselves as such (though they are often selling products, of which the Alt-Right are among their biggest purchasers, and it’s not like they’re turning the money away). How they present is the same way anyone presents who wants to be successful on social media: accessible, approachable, authentic. The face-to-face relationship a budding extremist forms with their recruiter or the leader of their hate group’s local chapter are here folded into one parasocial relationship with a complete stranger.

Why this person appeals to Gabe is they’re not selling politics as politics, but conservatism as a kind of lifestyle brand. They rely heavily on criticizing or ridiculing the Left: feminists are oversensitive, Black people unintelligent, queer folks doomed to loneliness, and trans people insane; I dunno if it’s a coincidence that these are all things Gabe thinks about himself in his low moments. By contrast, they don’t sell conservatism as having sounder policies or a more coherent moral framework, but that abandoning progressive principles and embracing conservative ones will make Gabe happier. Remember, Gabe isn’t looking for white nationalism or misogyny, what he wants is the cure to soul-sickness, and these friendly micro-celebs are here to offer a shot of life advice with politics as the chaser. It is extremely important that politics be presented as a set of affects, not a set of beliefs.

The second pathway is infiltration, which is its own beast. Media personalities sometimes become gateways to the Right almost by accident: they do something edgy, a part of their audience reacts positively, and, facing no real consequence, they do it more; this leads to further positive reinforcement from conservative fans, the rest of the audience acclimates, and the cycle repeats, the personality pushing the envelope further and further based on what flies with their increasingly conservative audience. In this way, they become a right-wing figure by both radicalizing and being radicalized by their audience.

Infiltration is deliberate.

The Far Right will reliably target any community that has 1) a large, white, male population, 2) whose niche interests allow them to feel vaguely marginalized, and 3) who are not used to progressive critique of said interests. This isn’t to say progressive critique doesn’t exist, or hasn’t been baked into the property from the beginning, but that it has been, so far, easy for white guys to ignore. As such, progressives within that community probably don’t talk politics much, and women and minorities are perfectly welcome to post, same as anyone, but just, you know, don’t, don’t make identity politics, you know, like, a thing.

Given Gabe’s proclivities, he’s probably already in a number of fan communities where he can geek out and not get teased. And this is where the Far Right will go looking for him

Communities are at their most vulnerable to infiltration at times of political discord. This can happen naturally - say, a new property in the fandom has a Black protagonist - or it can be provoked - say, a bunch of channers join the forum and say provocative things about race to get people arguing - or both. Left to its own devices, the community might sort out its differences and maybe even come out more progressive than they started. But, with the right pressure applied in the right moment, these communities can devolve into arguments about the need to remove a nebulously-defined “politics” from the conversation.

The adage about bros on the internet is “‘political’ means anything I disagree with,” but it’d be more accurate to say, here, “‘political’ means anything on which the community disagrees.” For instance, “Nazis are bad” is an apolitical statement because everyone in the community agrees. It’s common sense, and therefore neutral. But, paradoxically, “Nazis are good” is also apolitical; because “Nazis are bad” is the consensus, “Nazis are good” must be just an edgy joke, and, even if not, the community already believes the opposite, so the statement is harmless. Tolerable. However, “feminism is good” is a political statement, because the community hasn’t reached consensus. It is debatable, and therefore political, and you should stop talking about it. And making political arguments, no matter how rational, is having an agenda, and having an agenda is ruining the community.

(Now, it is curious how the things that provoke the most disagreement tend to be whichever ones make white dudes uncomfortable. One of life’s great, unanswerable mysteries.)

You can gather where this is going: a community that doesn’t tolerate progressivism but does tolerate Nazism is going to start collecting Nazis, Nazis whose goal is to drive a wedge between the community and the Left. Once the Left acknowledges, “Hey, your community’s developing a Nazi problem,” the Nazis - who are, remember, trusted, apolitical members of the community who might just be kidding about all the Nazi shit - say, “Did you hear that, guys?! Those cultural Marxists just called all of us Nazis!” Wedge. Similarly, any community members who say, “but Nazis though” are framed as infiltrators pushing an agenda, even if they’ve been there longer than the Nazis have. They get the wedge, too.

This is how fandoms radicalize. They are built as - yeah, I’ll say it - safe spaces for nerds, weebs, and furries, and are told that the Left is a threat to their safety. Given a choice between leaving a community that has mattered to him for years and simply adjusting to the community’s shifting politics, the assumption is that Gabe will stay. This assumption is right often enough that a lot of fandoms have been colonized.

What is true of both of these methods - Gabe finding the Right or the Right finding him - is that Gabe does not come nor stay for the ideology. He’s here for the community, the sense of belonging, of being with his people, of having his fears validated and his enjoyment shared. The ideology is simply the price of admission.

Step Three: Isolate

There is a vast, interconnected network of Far Right communities out there, and Gabe is, at this point, only on the periphery. In order to keep him in, they need to disrupt his relationships to other communities, and become, more and more, his primary online social space. Having made this space hostile to the Left, they now seek to break his connections to progressives elsewhere in his life.

This is hard to do online. The whole appeal of moving radicalism to the internet is that your away-from-keyboard life doesn’t have to change. You are crypto the moment you log off. Some thought leaders will encourage their audience to cut ties with Family of Origin, or “deFOO,” but, even then, they can’t monitor whether the audience has actually done it the way an in-person movement could. And so alienating Gabe from the Left is less controlled, and, consequently, may be less total. How much Gabe isolates is up to him.

But the vast majority of Far Right media presumes an alienation from the Left. Part of conservative bloggers and YouTubers making the Left look pathetic is doing a lot take-downs and responses. This is a constant repetition of the Left’s arguments for the purpose of mockery, and, for Gabe, it starts to replace any engagement with progressive media directly. He soon knows the Left only through caricature. It also trains him, if he does directly engage, to approach the Left with the same combative stance as his role models. (For reference, see my comment section.) And this is only if he doesn’t partake in one of the many active boycotts of “SJW media.”

In addition to mocking the Left’s arguments, they also, curiously, appropriate them. This is one part sanitization: liberal centrism is more socially acceptable; indeed, many figures on the outer layers think of themselves as moderates, even as they serve as gateways to radicalism. But, also, many of Gabe’s problems could be addressed by progressive leftism, so they sell him racist, sexist versions of it. Yes, there is a problem with workers being underpaid and overextended, but the solution isn’t unions, it’s deporting immigrants; yes, there is a chronic loneliness and anger to being a man in the modern age, but it’s not because of the toxic masculine expectations placed on you by the patriarchy, it’s women being slutty; yes, wealth disparity does mean a tiny percentage of elites have more influence over culture and politics than the rest of us combined, but the problem isn’t capitalism, it’s the Jews. And it’s hard for Gabe to reject these ideas without, in the process, rejecting the progressive ideas they’re copied from; the Right’s “take the red pill” is, to the untrained eye, similar to the Left’s “get woke.” (Or, at least, the bowdlerized version of “get woke” that is no longer specifically about race which came to fashion when white people started saying it, grumble grumble.)

Take the red pill or reject them both; either is a step to the right.

As this rhetoric slips into his day-to-day conversation, even as seemingly harmless “irreverence,” it may strain relationships with people who are not entertained by this shit. Off-color comments about race and gender can certainly be wearying for female and non-white friends, which can lead to a passive distance or an eventual confrontation [“why is everyone but me so sensitive?!”], which only seem to confirm what his reactionary community says about liberal snowflakes. If he says these things on social media, he may get his account suspended, and, if he comes back under an alt, you can bet his new reactionary friends will be the first to reconnect, applaud the behavior that got him banned, and repeat should he get banned again. A few cycles of this and he’s lost touch with everyone else.

Also, his adoption of the insular, meme-laden terminology of this community makes him less and less comprehensible to outsiders.

Over time, sources of information get replaced with community-approved ones: conservative news, conservative YouTube, conservative Wikipedia if he’s really committed. The Algorithm soon takes note and stops recommending media from the Left. He stops watching shows with a “liberal agenda,” which usually means shows starring women and people of color. Now, there is evidence that the human mind responds to fictional characters similarly to real people, and that consuming diverse media can decrease bigotry in ways roughly analogous to having a diverse group of friends, which is one of many reasons we say representation matters. By consuming a homogenous media diet, Gabe stymies his ability to have even parasocial relationships with anyone who isn’t a cishet conservative white dude or one of their approved exceptions.

To the extent that any of this happens, it happens at Gabe’s discretion and at his own chosen pace. It has not been forced on him, only encouraged and rewarded. But the fact that it hasn’t been forced can make him all the more willing to accept it, because it seems safe to consider; even though his life and social circle are changing to accommodate, he does not feel committed. But many Gabes have walked these halls, and, if they close the door behind them, there’s nowhere left to go but down.

Step Four: Raise their Power Level

(...and they say we ruined anime.)

Consider the ecosystem of the Alt-Right as layers of an onion, with Gabe sitting at the edge and ready to traverse towards the center. (No, I’m not just going to reiterate the PewDiePipeline, though, if you haven’t seen it, go do that.)

The outer layer of the onion is extremism at its most plausibly deniable. Without careful scrutiny, the public-facing figureheads could pass as dispassionate, and the websites as merely problematic rather than softly fascist. It is valuable if Gabe believes this as well; that, at this stage, he believe the bigotry is simply trolling, the extremists an insignificant minority, and any report of harassment faked. That he believe where he is is as deep as the rabbit hole goes. And that he continue to believe this at each successive layer.

People in the deepest crevices of the Alt-Right self-report getting redpilled on multiple issues at different times in their journey to the center of the onion. If Gabe’s first red pill is about the SJWs coming for his free speech, he’ll think that’s all anyone in his community believes; there’s no racism here, people are just making a point about their right to use slurs. Then, when he gets redpilled on the white genocide, he’ll laugh at those Alt-Lite cucks who tried to sweep the race realists under the rug, and at himself for having once been one, but acknowledge that those channels and websites are still useful for onboarding people, so he won’t denounce them. At the same time, nobody takes those manosphere betas seriously.

And this process is reiterated with every pill swallowed: gender essentialism, autogynephilia, birtherism, Sandy Hook truth, pizzagate, QAnon if he’s really out there. The heart of the onion is typically the Jewish Question, but these can happen in any order, and in any number. But each layer sells itself as being, finally, the ultimate truth. Each denies the validity of the others; the layers ahead don’t exist, they’re made up my liberals, while the people behind are asleep where you are now awake. That’s why they chose “the red pill” as their metaphor: take it, and everything will be revealed. That’s why it cozies up with conspiracism. But what’s supposed to follow is that this knowledge help Gabe in some way, and it doesn’t. Blaming immigrants doesn’t actually fix the economy, and hating women doesn’t make men less lonely. But, having been alienated from everything outside the onion, once that sinks in, the only recourse on offer is to seek out the next pill.

And pills are easy to find. Those within the network have laissez-faire relationships, even as they, on paper, disavow one another. When they need a source or a guest host, they aren’t going to go to the Left; they’re going to feature each other. The Left is the enemy; their ideas are beneath consideration, and the only reason to engage them is for public humiliation. [Shapiro’s book.] But you can interview “western chauvinists” and that doesn’t mean you’re endorsing them, just, you know, it’s fine to hear ‘em out, nothing should be off-limits in the marketplace of ideas. Besides, Nazis are apolitical.

And because these folks keep showing up in each others’ metadata, regardless of what they say, Google thinks there is definitely a relationship between the guy “just asking questions” and the guy denying the Holocaust. Gabe is softly exposed to many flavors of conservatism just slightly more radical than he is now, and is expected, at the very least, to not question their presence. This is an environment where deradicalizing - listening to the Left - would be sleeping with the enemy, but radicalizing further? You do you, buddy.

Gabe’s emotional journey, however, is somewhat more complex. If you’ve spent any time reading or watching reactionary media you’ve probably noticed it’s really. fucking. repetitive. It’s a few thousand phrasings of the same handful of arguments. Like, there’s only so many jokes about attack helicopters! But these people just crank out content, and most of it’s derivative; the reason to pick one personality over another isn’t because they say something different, but because they say it differently. Gabe just picks the affect it’s delivered in.

Repetition dulls the shock of the most egregious statements, making them appear normal and prepping him for more extreme ideas. Meanwhile, the arguments themselves? They’re not good. (BreadTube will never run out of shit to debunk.) They are repetitive because they’re not good. They’re mantric. A good argument you only need to hear one time; if you can follow it, internalize it, and explain it to someone else, you know you’ve understood it. But a bad argument can’t convince you on its own merits, so it will often rely on affect. This can be the snappy, thought-terminating cliche, or the long, winding diatribe that sounds really sensible while you’re hearing it but when someone asks you for the gist you can only say “go watch these 17 videos and it’ll all make sense.” Both these approaches are largely devoid of content, but, gosh, if they don’t sound sure of themselves.

And that mode can be very persuasive, but it doesn’t stick the way a coherent argument does. It needs to be repeated, the affect replenished, because the words matter less than the delivery. There needs to be a steady stream of confident voices saying “we’ve got this figured out and everyone else is stupid” or Gabe’s gonna notice the flaws. They are not well-hidden.

And the catch-22 of returning to that stream over and over is that these communities are stressful even as they are calming. People afraid they will die virgins go to forums with people who share and validate that fear, and also say, “Yes, you will die a virgin.” People afraid Syrians are coming to kill us all watch videos by people who share and validate that fear, and also say, “Yes, Syrians are coming to kill us all.” Others have already pointed out that rubbing your face in your worst anxieties is a form of digital self-harm, but I need to you understand the toxic recursion of it: Gabe is going to these communities to get upset. Every emotion is converted into anger, because sadness, fear, and despair are paralyzing but anger is motivating; Gabe feels less helpless when he’s pissed off. And so, while he’s topping up on reassuring nonsense, he’s also topping up on stress. And, being cut off from everything outside the network, the only place he knows to go to release that stress is back to the place that gives it to him. It’s a feedback loop, pulling him deeper and deeper on the promise that, at some point, relief will come.

It is a similar dynamic that keeps people in abusive relationships.

When someone in Gabe’s community makes a racist joke, they are presenting Gabe with a choice between the human interaction of laughing with his friends and his societal responsibility not to be a fuckin’ racist. And not laughing seems ridiculous; everybody’s friends here; no one’s getting hurt; this is harmless. And so the irreverent race joke draws a line between the personal and the political, and suggests that one can be safely prioritized over the other. One way to look at radicalization is being asked to stick with that seemingly innocuous decision as the stakes are raised incrementally: first with edgier humor, and then comments that are funny because they’re shocking but you couldn’t really call them jokes, and then “funny” comments that are also sincerely angry, but, in each instance, since he laughed with his bros last time, it stands to reason he should keep favoring the personal over some abstracted notion of “politics.”

This is why the progressive adage “the personal is political” is among the most threatening things you can say in these spaces.

I’m not trying to make a slippery slope argument. Most of us who laughed at edgy jokes when we were teenagers didn’t grow up to be Nazis. It is a slippery slope in the specific context of being in community with people trying to radicalize you. Gabe is a lonely white boy in need of friends, and laughing at a racist joke is personal, while not laughing is political. Staying in a community that has Nazis in it is personal, and leaving is political. The personal is what brings people together and the political drives them apart. (The “only if some of them are bigots” part of that sentence is usually lopped off). There’s this joke on the internet that nerds perceive only two races: white and political. Following that logic, what could be more apolitical than an ethnostate?

They are banking on his willingness to adapt his beliefs to suit an environment that meets a need. That same need can be satisfied by white nationalism. There are few things more seductive to people who doubt their own worth than being told you are valuable simply for being white. And you can sub in male, cis, straight, allosexual, or able-bodied. It just takes priming: by the time Gabe officially embraces bigotry, he’s already been acting like a bigot for months. The red pill is simply the moment he says it out loud.

Change Gabe’s surroundings, and you change Gabe.

Step Five: ???

The final step in a traditional extremist group would be getting a mission. But that is one thing the Alt-Right can’t do. Once you start giving clear directives, you can’t play yourselves off as a bunch of unaffiliated hashtags and think tanks; you are now a formalized movement accountable to its followers, and can be judged and policed as such.

To my mind, Charlottesville was an attempt to become such a movement, taking things offline and getting all the different groups working collectively. And, as so often happens when these people get in the same space - especially with no official leaders or means of control over their members - it backfired. Their true colors came out before they were ready and a counter-protester lost her life.

This would be the point where, historically, an extremist group starts to disintegrate. Their veneer of respectability gone, they’re now hated by the public, the media wants nothing more to do with them, and everyone not in jail turns on each other or goes underground. This is also the point where the liberal establishment says, “My job here is done,” and utterly fails to retake control of the narrative, allowing the next batch of radicals to pick up more or less where the last one left off.

But to an already-decentralized group like the Alt-Right, Charlottesville was bad but eminently survivable. People retreated back to the internet, with its code words and anonymous forums, but that’s where much of the work was already done anyway. The platforms where they organized kept tolerating them, the authorities still didn’t classify them as terrorists, and any disgraced figureheads were replaced with up-and-comers.

The major change in strategy is that it doesn’t seem anyone has tried to formalize the Alt-Right since.

So where does that leave Gabe? He’s gone through this whole process of largely hands-off indoctrination - and I should stress his journey may look like what we’ve outlined or it may look different in places, this video is not comprehensive - but now he’s swallowed every pill he cares to, he blames half a dozen minorities for everything he sees as wrong with the world, and no one will give him anything to do. You’ve got this ad hoc movement frothing young men into a militant fervor and then just leaving them to stew in their own hate. Should we really be surprised at how many commit mass shootings?

This is a machine for producing lone wolves.

Leaving men to take up arms of their own volition is a way of enacting terror while being just outside the popular conception of a terror cell. There are also, of course, more classic militias that will offer Gabe clear directives - they’re recruiting from the same pool. And Gabe may stop short of this step, settling in a middle layer that suits him or finding the inner layers too extreme. But violence is the logical conclusion of an ideology of hate, and, should Gabe take this step, he can approach violence in the same incremental fashion he approached conservatism.

He can start with yelling at people on Twitter, and then maybe collective brigading, DDoS attacks, sharing dox, leaking nudes, calling their phone numbers, texting them pictures of their houses from the sidewalk. These acts of cruelty become games of oneupmanship within his community. All this can start as far back as Step 2, and get more intense the deeper he goes. Some people join explicitly partake in harassment and violence the way Gabe joined to talk about anime.

But this behavior can serve as a kind of buy-in. The Left and the feminists and the LGBTQs and the Muslims and the immigrants are all, within his community, subhuman. You’ve maybe heard the conservative catchphrase “feminism is cancer”; well don’t treat cancer by having a respectful exchange of ideas with it, but by eradicating it down to the last cell. Cruelty against the Left is framed as righteous.

From any other perspective, posting someone’s bank information is something you might feel ashamed of. Which creates a psychological imperative not to consider other perspectives. A thing that keeps people in is staving off the guilt they will reckon with the moment they step out. Gabe is also aware that anything he’s done to the Left could be done to him if he leaves; some communities even keep dox on their members as insurance. And the things he’s been encouraged to do to the Left will likely make him feel that the Left would never take him now; the radical Right is the only home he’s got. Harassment becomes another tool of isolation.

Steadily, options for Gabe are whittled down to being a vigilante or a nihilist. There are periods of elation: moments the Alt-Right feels it’s winning - or, more accurately, the people they hate are losing - are like cocaine. They are authoritarians, after all. But the times in between are mean and angry. They are antisocial, starved of emotional connection, consuming incompatible conspiracies that may at any point run them afoul of one another, devoted to figureheads who cater to but cannot risk leading them, and living under constant threat of being outed to the Left or turned on by the Right for stepping out of line. Gabe took this journey for the sense of community and purpose, and, but for the rare moments everything goes their way, the Alt-Right can’t maintain either. They can only keep promising his day will come, a story he could get from a $5 palm reading.

The feeling there’s nothing left but to kill yourself or someone else is so common it’s a meme.

But there is always a third option: Gabe can leave.

Pre-Conclusion: For Fuck’s Sake Do Not Make Gabe Your Whole-Ass Praxis

Before we continue, I want to state plainly that Gabe went off the deep end because he found a community willing to tell him that, because he is a cishet white man, the world revolves around him. Do not treat him like this is true.

If a fraction of the energy spent having debates with America’s Gabes were spent instead on voter re-enfranchisement, prisoner’s rights, protections for immigrants, statehood for DC and Puerto Rico, and redistricting, Gabe’s opinions, in the societal sense, wouldn’t matter. Reactionary conservatism is a small and largely unpopular ideology that is only so represented in our culture and politics because they’ve learned how to game the system.

And I get it. Those are huge problems that are going to take years to address, where, if you know a Gabe, that’s a conversation you could have today. And, if you think you can get through to him, it is worthwhile to try. This is a fight on many fronts and deradicalization is one of them. But it is only one, so please keep it in perspective. It sends an awful message when we spend more time trying to get bigots back on our side than we do the people they are bigoted against.

Your value as a lefty does not hinge on whether you can change Gabe’s mind.

Conclusion: How Gabe Gets Out

He may just grow out of it. These communities skew young, and some folks hit a point where hanging with edgy teens doesn’t feel cool anymore.

He may become disillusioned after the movement fails to deliver on its promises.

He may become disillusioned if something goes wrong in his life and his community isn’t there for him, if he feels they like his race and his gender but don’t actually care about him.

He may be shocked if he sees the Alt-Right at its worst before being appropriately conditioned. Charlottesville was a step too far for a lot of people.

His community may turn on him for any perceived unorthodoxy, and he may leave out of necessity.

He may be separated by circumstance from the community - a trip with no internet, hospitalization, arrest - and not be able to top up on the rhetoric. This may lead him to question his beliefs.

His community may disappear, either tearing itself apart or getting shut down by authorities.

He may have incidental contact with populations he’s supposed to hate, and have trouble reconciling who they are in person with what he’s been told about them. In his community, people bond over shared intolerance, but, suddenly, being tolerant helps him make friends. (This is one reason the Alt-Right has made a battleground of the college campus.)

He may form or revisit relationships outside the network, people who can offer him the connection he’s been looking for. This may reintroduce outside perspectives. More importantly, it rekindles his ability to have healthy relationships at all, something the Alt-Right has estranged him from.

As with recruiters, it seems these “escape hatch” relationships can sometimes be parasocial; coming to respect a public figure who is on the Left, or is critical of the Alt-Right.

Someone he is close to may compel him to choose, “me or the movement.” A lot of young men leave to save a romantic relationship.

Hearing stories from people who’ve already jumped may help; there aren’t a lot of public formers, and some raise suspicions as to their sincerity, but it is getting more common, and may be the closest we get to exit counseling for the Alt-Right.

He may become aware of the ways he’s being manipulated, or have them revealed to him, maybe because he stumbled into BreadTube, I dunno. Knowledge that you are being indoctrinated is no guarantee it won’t work - you are not immune to propaganda - but it can help one resist.

And he may revisit a core belief system that used to guide him, be it religion or social justice or a really wholesome fandom, and be reminded of the identity he used to have.

Moments like these, in isolation or in aggregate, can inspire Gabe to jump. They are also good times for friends to intervene. The reach and the impunity that comes with the internet means it has never been easier to fall into reactionary extremism. It has also never been easier to get out. People who exit skinhead gangs often fear for their lives; for Gabe, there’s a chance getting out is as simple as going to a different website. Much of his community does not know his name or his face and he may not important enough to dox.

What doesn’t get Gabe out - not reliably, not that I have seen - is an argument with a stranger who proves all his facts wrong and his ideology bunk. Facts don’t always work because facts don’t care about his feelings. This was about staying in a community, and holding onto an identity, that mattered to him. It was about belonging, and that is something a rando from the other side of the culture war can’t give him and probably shouldn’t be responsible for.

The theme here is human connection. Before he can do the work of disentangling himself, and facing the guilt of what he’s believed and maybe done, he has to know there’s somewhere for him on the other end of it. That the Right hasn’t ruined him. They’ve told him all of history is groups fighting each other over status, and, without his clan, he’ll be an exile. He needs a better story.

I don’t know that lefty spaces are ideal for this, in no small part because bringing someone who’s a bit of a Nazi but working on it into diverse communities is… questionable. And it probably wouldn’t be good for him, either; having just gotten out of a toxic belief system, he’s going to be deeply skeptical of all ideologies. In a perfect world, people who care about Gabe could build for him - to use a therapy term - a holding space. Someplace private - physical or digital - where Gabe can work out his feelings, where he is both encouraged and expected to be better but is not, in the moment, judged. That comes later. It is delicate and time-consuming work that should not be done in public, but we find these beliefs, built up over the course of months or years, tend to fall away very quickly with a shift of environment. Change Gabe’s surroundings and you change Gabe.

But, instead, a lot of people who jump are functionally deprogramming themselves, which is working for a lot of them, but it’s haphazard, and there are recidivists.

If you don’t personally know a Gabe, or have training as a counselor, you may not be in a position to help him. Possibly there are things you can do to disrupt the recruitment process or prevent infiltration of spaces you’re in - I’m looking into it, but talk to your mods - but, elephant in the room: meaningful change will require reform on the part of platform holders. Tools to disrupt this process already exist and are being used on groups like ISIS, but they’re not being used on the Alt-Right because they try oh so very hard not to get classified as terrorists (and also any functioning anti-radicalization policy would require banning a lot of conservative politicians, so there’s that...).

But what makes our story better than theirs is that the fight for social and economic justice, though it is long, and difficult, and frustrating, when it works, it fulfills the promise the Right can’t keep: it materially make people’s lives better. I am not prone to sentimentality, or to giving these videos happy endings. But one thing we have that the Alt-Right doesn’t is hope.

#video essay

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dearheart42regenerated · 4 years

Text

hoo boy, okay, this is a baaaaad idea and it’s LONG but I’m doing it anyway because I’m genuinely struggling with this, I don’t have an IRL community to turn to, and I want to hear what other lesbians/wlw think about this beyond my own tiny circle. (for the record I’m not a discourse blog, so pleeeease be gentle and don’t drag me into any super messy debates? the most I want to do is get opinions from different people and learn enough to come to my own private conclusions and move on)

I’m a bby lesbian (and a long-time ace) and the “bi-lesbian” thing upsets me too. but I’ve seen an argument brought up that made me stop and think, and I’m kinda stumped about it. the argument is that we're ALREADY using lesbian as an umbrella term, but only get upset about it when bi women do the same.

for example...when we see a wlw couple walking down the street or getting married, or two women kissing in a TV show or pictures shown on twitter (much like the cute “sword lesbians” story that’s been circulating), MOST of the time, everyone (including us!) tends to automatically call them “lesbians” or a "lesbian couple” or a “lesbian wedding”, etc...without thinking about what their actual orientations are.

I saw another person bring up an experience where her lesbian gf would joke about them "doing lesbianism babey!" but when she tried to do the same as a bi woman, her gf would get mad at her and say she couldn't do that. the main point of all of this is that there's hypocrisy in play - when lesbians put the "lesbian" label on other women, whether irl or fiction, most people don’t kick up a fuss. but when bi women use the label themselves, suddenly it's bad and lesbophobic/biphobic.

this troubles me because I DO see it happen all the time, both online and in the few irl experiences I’ve had. and I think it's a valid point to make (especially because "sapphic" is barely used irl at all). it feels unfair to use "lesbian" with the same-ish looseness we use "gay", and then draw the line at bi women using it too. (there’s also a very real problem of bi ppl with same-gender partners turning to “Gay And Lesbian” spaces cos they have nowhere else to turn, and getting kicked out for not being a “real gay”. there are tangible real-life layers to this discourse that I don’t want to brush off.)

but at the same time, "lesbian" is the only modern word we have (particularly our only mainstream word) to describe our full, unique experience as women who are exclusively attracted to other women/women-aligned people. bi women already have “bisexual” as their recognizable mainstream term, and they also have “queer”, “wlw”, “sapphic”, etc as further options to fine-tune their identity...so it feels just as unfair to use "lesbian” too, and that’s the main reason why the term “bi-lesbian” personally upsets me right now.

it’s also upsetting because “bi-lesbian” implies that some lesbians could still be open to men, and we already face so much lesbophobic pressure to create space for men in our identity/attraction because “you never know, you might feel attracted to a man someday! sexuality is always fluid y’know! maybe you’re not really a lesbian!” we get that pressure both from the outside world AND often from the rest of the LGBTQ+ community too. it’s really harmful and painful to deal with, especially for those of us who’ve had to deal with comphet and still do (aka meeeee)

putting the rest under a readmore cos this is getting long lol

I wish "bi lesbians” and their supporters would take that stuff into consideration...and I wish I saw more people caring in general about the lesbians who are hurting from this.

we’re tired of having the worst assumed of us, of being treated as the “bad guys” by other communities every time we speak up about things that hurt us. statistically, we’re one of the smallest groups in the alphabet soup. we barely even have our own flag, and the creator of our most popular one right now is still facing hate, harassment and being unjustly accused of being a TERF/exclusionist/bigot.

it feels like morale and pride are so low among us right now. we just want people to care about us, to be mindful of how we feel and what we go through as lesbians, to give us the same support and benefit-of-a-doubt that you so easily give to our other LGBTQ+ siblings.

aaand now I’m just emotionally venting lol but TL;DR - I want to be fair to both sides of this topic, cos that’s the type of person I am. I want to stick up for my own community, but I also want to be inclusive to questioning/struggling people and a good ally to my bi sisters. so help me figure all this out. how do y’all feel about what I’ve brought up here?

lesbians and bi women: how do you feel about the point that we’re already using “lesbian” as a roughly gay-equivalent umbrella term for the women we see in relationships with other women? why shouldn’t bi women use it that way too? if they shouldn’t, why aren’t we pushing harder for alternatives like “sapphic” to use in those cases and telling each other to stop when one of us uses “lesbian” or “lesbianism” incorrectly for unspecified wlw couples?

pro-bi-lesbian people: asking in genuine confusion here, how is using the term “bi lesbian” any better than using “bihet” or “bi straight”? how is it not feeding into the misconception that bisexuals are just “half-gay half-straight”? and why is it worth holding onto that label when a) “bisexual” is a mainstream term that, by definition, already has room to encompass your experience, b) other more specific words that mean the same/similar thing already exist for you (i.e. “sapphic”), and c) your term of choice hurts lesbians by undermining our definition of ourselves and adding to the cultural pressure we face to make room for hypothetical future men in our sexuality?

also I want to make it very clear that I’m NOT blaming “bi lesbians” for men feeling entitled to seduce/harass us, or insinuating that you contribute to rape culture or anything like that. predatory men will be predatory no matter what words we use, I fully acknowledge that. rather my concern is that anyone can put pressure on us (and all too often do) to make room for men in our orientation, including within the LGBTQ+ community, and “bi lesbian” as a term contributes to that type of lesbophobia.

please be nice, or at least civil, and talk to me. I want to listen and see if your opinions will help me find some clarity in my own. you’re free to message me or reblog this with your takes on these issues, but if you reblog, please focus on talking with me and don’t fight each other. I will delete this if things get ugly or out of hand.

#bi lesbian #bi lesbian discourse #bi discourse #lesbian discourse

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sirjustice339-blog · 4 years

Text

Easy does it dude

Like on the shinny metallic bars as u stand u hold unto them in the train or light rail is the same technology used with E-cargo drone to be fixed inside the airplane so to avoid running 1st on the ground b4 take off or due to landing. The same not done from outside but inside the airplane with made tiny holes to ventilate the drone mechanism to work cause it has its own AC. Not rocket science dude, easy magics bro, as in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+inside+of+a+subway+train&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwje5amP0dbqAhVF6uAKHRtjDxUQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://www.google.com/search?q=images+of+inside+a+police+van&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwia8NaQ0dbqAhXFweAKHRIqARUQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=images+of+inside+a+police+van&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoCCAA6BggAEAgQHjoECAAQGFCuqAtYz9wLYPbgC2gAcAB4AIAB6QGIAYoTkgEFMC40LjiYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZ8ABAQ&sclient=img&ei=cNQSX5r4LsWDgweS1ISoAQ&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

Baby pampers and women sanitary pads are made using cotton soaked in cold water then the boom process done as spit saliva etc and their your pads or pamper or cloth pieces.

Coco butter made using black, kinda, going bad avocado where cold cocoa solution is added in the boom process and their is ya applying oil

https://www.specialtyproduce.com/produce/Puebla_Avocados_10594.php

We thought Kenya tea Forex income as tabulated comes from overseas yet only 40% of that tabulation comes from abroad, which means like close o 60% consumed locally, where disrespects en-crops as we find that tea is charged much on fellow citizens to achieve the above. It would be lucrative if the locally sold 1 was not added as many thinks, same to with any cash crop of any country. U see them in TPF like with Kenya, walking as if they are about to own or control the world with just mere $ 50,000. Nations should tabulated not the domestically sold 1 to imbue people with accurate confidence as 4 local are your own cash, as in the links below

https://www.capitalfm.co.ke/business/2020/01/kenya-tea-export-earnings-down-by-16-4pc/

https://www.businessdailyafrica.com/markets/commodities/Kenya-tea-exports-fall-31pc-in-June/3815530-5244164-s8k0rcz/index.html

http://www.worldstopexports.com/kenyas-top-10-exports/

The reason 4 the above is artificial tea made in boom process by just buying few KG in leaves and making much by either adding sieved charcoal water or grinned paw paw or pumpkin water b4 buying ya own mini-tea processing unit than buying finished products like from Kenya or China etc as many knows not dude and even with flowers.

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/07/24/425890188/carnations-coffee-and-denim-how-kenya-makes-its-economy-hum

http://www.worldstopexports.com/ugandas-top-10-exports/

http://www.worldstopexports.com/tanzanias-top-10-exports/

Banks profits and their extension to other nations like Kenyan 1 to Uganda and Tanzania contributes a lot to the development of major city structures like in Nairobi or Mombasa, which if removed such countries face the fear of recession and even with Britain, which is the turmoil when cash placed online if u did not know dude as in the link below

https://www.businessdailyafrica.com/markets/marketnews/Listed-banks-profit-up-9pc-in-last-cap-results/3815534-5376114-a2902n/index.html

Compare Uganda and Tanzania top exports, and see the not common 1 as tea then think of the boom process as above as well as with what flowers are used to make and their options and the related jobs due to shipping created by containerization as ports which Tanzania now wants to connect to 4 countries at once which the port of Mombasa used to serve as Uganda serve the Congo, Rwanda and Burundi which now tz wants to serve all. Dude even on that line Uganda crying foul as the Burundi or Rwanda exports via them will be abolished as Rail is much faster and cheap compared to Kenyan road system. Importers will pot 4 the E-rail system lest Kenya builds their to share the profits dude. Get it straight stop being turf on ya dubious ways bro as in the links above

Still u understand not link, u r jew who did not got Moses, then a plan devised 4 ya in ya darkness, u will be killed or silenced still not knowing a link and aint a hoot to us bro.

If people stuck to their family, u see the vegetation drying up as brown not green but when the reverse done the earth opens on that side synonymous with Eu or America where people leave their parents to be decisive alone in life dude, Try that bro and many want it not out of the above if u know not girl. Who will tell ya this if not me. Monitoring my life that am about to eat much, which if not so few yards away they start giving ya names as begging yet is them who wants from u with their kids now that we know how machines made, not have to live in 1 house to come out with the same, that they have good things in store, which aint even theirs as they don’t own it but planning to hack what cant be hacked, bad Character Kikuyu blooded but blessing in disguise as the world have known u now that it has gone sour with ya and even tourist.

When working in town and leaving job late, fear and sense on the other hand engulfs ya, that they can give ya bad name or can say u r concerned about the city to start loading ya with burden as people who knows how the world goes so can monitor the nation and that’s it dude, so desist from the above if u want not so loaded burden as can be forced as other people left are of good life not concerned with such above and reason why big bodied people even if population less so people enjoy good life on security they are dull and not short or tall people like the Japanese can invade them and that’s why women r trained to dislike tall and huge people as short people also got the same disadvantage as cheeky, giving in to much play creating room 4 invasion as Germany with Poland during WW2 as now Kenyan people needs the same. In this world people of medium heights are the best protagonists and are feared as the Japanese as their land is an island and with the water or air telescope mounted on a drone, it can be calculated with the fastest submarine and jet of the enemy and placed all that distance from their shore so at night they don’t reach the land to invade synonymous with USA-Hiroshima/nagsaki bombings as in the link below as we have such machines above with night vision bro.

https://phys.org/news/2020-01-china-meter-fast-radio-telescope.html

1 km telescope 4 ya house security in the link below to detect any foreign thing like intruders on drones from sides or directly above synonymous with SA

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimage.made-in-china.com%2F43f34j00OBEQyflKLNoe%2FLong-Distance-1km-Digital-Telescope-Video-Camera-With-MP4-Function.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fnei-china.en.made-in-china.com%2Fproduct%2FeMqnhVoUZKkT%2FChina-Lang-afstand-1km-de-Digitale-Videocamera-van-de-Telescoop-met-MP4-Functie.html&tbnid=SWiK1rjMc_4JjM&vet=12ahUKEwiu5ZXd29bqAhXVw4UKHYvKBIEQMygBegUIARCLAQ..i&docid=kyTbXeCwAKipYM&w=300&h=213&itg=1&q=digital%20%20telescope%20images%20from%20china&client=firefox-b-d&ved=2ahUKEwiu5ZXd29bqAhXVw4UKHYvKBIEQMygBegUIARCLAQ

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Ftimg.china.cn%2F0%2F1_126_46108_800_801.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fdetail.en.china.cn%2Fprovide%2Fp132585175.html&tbnid=cemjc03XtmMoLM&vet=12ahUKEwiu5ZXd29bqAhXVw4UKHYvKBIEQMygEegUIARCRAQ..i&docid=nJ2EtXsCByVlDM&w=800&h=801&q=digital%20%20telescope%20images%20from%20china&client=firefox-b-d&ved=2ahUKEwiu5ZXd29bqAhXVw4UKHYvKBIEQMygEegUIARCRAQ

https://www.google.com/search?q=long+distance+digital++telescope+images+from+china+Alibaba&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiDiK2S3NbqAhUM-4UKHQ5BCTUQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=long+distance+digital++telescope+images+from+china+Alibaba&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1DG_AFY05ECYLqfAmgAcAB4AIABjwKIAY8YkgEGMC4xLjEzmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=_d8SX8OVBIz2lwSOgqWoAw&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

Armored tanker on the wheel side still got shortcoming, where if a covering which is armored from the wheel rim is done to cover the tire to like only some few cm from the ground can reduce the index/surface area exposed 4 shooting and to avoid shooting the area that rotates on the ground, a mechanism can be incorporated that overlaps as well a bullet proof metal to like get to the ground to as well reduce the surface area of shooting as with the window in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+container+shops+doors+in+kenya&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjKr4Cf3dbqAhUeAWMBHW7eATwQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://unsplash.com/s/photos/classic-car

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=canadian+military+vehicel+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjoguTA3dbqAhWK2BQKHfIKBxcQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

And telescope and digital Binoculars technology can be placed as well in military vehicle to reduce the rate of attacks or increase their vigilance.

Carpet star-soft Lavender makes your face small with sharp bone face protruding and u can use that if u wanna. The egg albumen as well makes soap and detergents in the boom process as with flowers dude. Buy rye bread as the best as u look at it from where u work or sit many hours as makes u more beauty than u r and sharpens ya countenance as make it small as somehow not long as with baby star soft but squire gaining respect as not of war synonymous with long faced people.

Now many nations have learnt how to make airplanes, so do not heap indignities on 1 that airplane uses siren gas not or clouds contain no water and how can it form rain as written in books which makes such statements null and void dude. Google airplane made in Burundi making it in the sky to see dude, Mr white-man back off with ya lies backed up with kikuyu blooded men, who wants their lands in pretense when triumph but if not their allies as learning their ways dude.

So stop in ya silly behaviors of sitting in joins 2 people as though exhausted as sited that way is the way airplanes are made after along times which many people took as okay but now they have known the truth as u must know the process of making such as explained in 1 of the following tumblr a/c of sirjustice50 and must know how to talk to the devil not mere guess works as above to find places where u can rest or get tolerated and even with trained kids 4 people to accept them in their houses or have mercy on them as to adopt them which aint the case with making airplanes. Get to junior school if ya parents have money not leave school and look where u can chip in to make cash to reduce the load on our colleges and many stranded to get jobs bro. Little children and king of the jew with Christ to cement the above truths.

The sun rotates in a circular obit around the earth not vice versa, while on the below the earth it rotates faster to rise the early morning in the far east as not when on the top of the earth. Proof when u get to below the earth and stay their u get to see sunlight as is not dark but it sets faster like an eclipse. But happy are we as with airplane we have finished just a matter of time the above will be finished to set us free to cements the truths of Mr white-man lies as written in books period dude.

Even the back of bamboo tree can replace what sweet potato does with making much water as the bar kalare Gem 1 or purified drinking water as samples are tied in polythene bags immersed in water in big container b4 the boom process done to produce much as raw cut mango, cabbage or kale as well placed inside with distilled water to make much then grinned semi dry groundnuts soak in the same water to add taste b4 making again much in the boom process b4 bottling is done 4 sales. Gem is Bring, king, mkono brika as begging when made much 4rever with any nation buying few liters and making much hindering those nations that gained from the same like, China, Missouri and India selling to prisons allover the globe, meaning recession 4 those nations when the above truths are made public dude. Women with Barnabas to aid us in the above. Modi/bamboo, Christ with sycamore tree and with division to bring us home with what he meant dude.

When u r lion of Judah eating much as the male 1 food brought to him by female then the game park next to ya, get to the park and co-exist with the beasts stop disturbing mankind, see if they will accept ya and in parks when pray are not in the vicinity lions are seen eating even grass, dude if u r 1 u ought to have started eating the same as early as yesterday not disturbing us with ya nonsensical brought to u or us issues where we tolerated such out of threats of imposed sanctions as at those time we did not have the magics of making life conveniences like machines that makes the world going or keeps the earth moving but now we know as we give a hoot not bro. Mr white-man stop now ya sick and sickening games bro.

Saying me want to be ya Mr big man forcing, homey i want not am not like the obamas who are poor having none as can be seen in their movements which is a blessing in disguise to people not to get to leadership position when young cause after the lapse of ya time u r left frustrated good 4 grown ups who leave the art of job dressing and get to like owning a ranch which aint shame dude as their ways to corruption to get much money where all blocked as Young presidents can even kill people when loaded. So it was to teach us. Leadership are for those who desire much money with dubious means which if all blocked force others who want money not with them and with Me having kids with many women, create a law if u r found guilty of such, without notice, u r jailed 4 life after a DNA test done. Stop ya nonsense dude with me, accept not the other way Kenya is poor but directly dude. Don’t resort to tricks which to ya are dirty but to us open. With 1 Hindu, get to the upper floor of ya city skyscraper while one is on the immediate next floor then u say what 1 is doing and boom u r Hindu and sometimes even incentives offered just to find the same which if u cant solve all the puzzle of life in ya accusation of this 1 and that 1. U r kikuyu, luo or Kamba as just mere sayings you Mr Hindu and any other person best in falls sayings as above to indict the next person of bad character when defeated or in blocking their ways as with jobs or traveling abroad as other race they claim u r of are not likes and even with marriages. Even crimes and dirty games are done by dignitaries in the above structures which should have cameras vied by public in all corners and rooms as well as corridors to stop the above and even having sex with city respected women and men as with Times tower Nairobi and KSM 2 towers at Mega-plaza building where just planning having the same aint nothing less that $200. City making money, to be unknown as Mr Hindu cant locate ya at that height on weekends when at home even giving Nairobi those buildings owners money and with any other nation tall building. Think twice dude on how to make cash with prostitution as more than 100 people have sex on such on Sunday and Saturday evening and nights and even in 5 star long building hotels like Hilton Minneapolis.

If Mr Hindu blooded as Greek, Colombian blooded, if 1 is far like 2 km in a room u must be able to tell us what he is doing lest u not dude, stop games of locating where their is wheat and u claim allegiance. Artificial wheat that spoil not the teeth can be made with cattle brain grinned but mixed with water soaked in pumpkin in the boom process as well as cut raw cabbage or cooked but very light must be mixed with wheat flour which is grown as with AJab wheat flour, a gimmick they are eyeing to if others blocked. Ajab is Canadian wheat flour mixed with the above as another brand is Hindu. As in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=ajab+wheat+flour+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwit5ZHKjtHqAhVkA2MBHei8CN0QsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

Like of Robinson and daughters and many have eaten martin Luther King corpse made much in boom process even if the corpse still intact in the grave, they can take like only the tongue or booty part and made much as even after making much make other foods with it, so desist from much foods and even flour, get to the new mini-machines and grinned ya own as it can disform ya as symptoms are shinny, wide, broad or long face, becoming cheeky in character, distorted tenths like watery or developing spaces from far kinda and more just locate them bro. Stop much wordings just exhume and find out if the whole corpse missing or some taken parts as mentioned above.

Kinda, u were against each other, getting to explanation so they understand to elongate that gulf, get to them to explain in details and kinda, acts like they are your kids u have bought food u want to give to them at the same time 1 after another frown at each other thinking u will consider them much out of that synonymous with big bodied people, fellows me aint ya father and even ya death concerns me not, if u cant hustle but want the best life as u want from another better die dude and its period. Bad character women have known them, can bring disturbing kids to destroy the world. Locating food from people as kids characters many bank working people have. If 1 who is tall is their, kinda, a spirit emanates within them, looking behind their is no-1, meaning at night if such happen they cut u with machete but at day time, kinda, u see police men in black attires already cocked the gun ready to shot as the ground capsize to see water. So never empathize with USA shootings as is the same scenario dude.

Thought Canada will not learn automation as them, so wants Negro out of USA employing lies, so Chinese came to the USA to learn their technology saying they ate the corpse from graves of the renowned Negros wanting to Infuse the same to Canadians which they refute, so wants to attack them like German did to Poland but alas! Canada and Mexico as well has learned automation even in military vehicle and in cyber-nation as internet so they relent reason why they, kinda, setting kebi free, without the same they could not. They even get to African nations, South America and Caribbean to orchestrate the above with nations supporting Canada, so they create war and extend the border line so much Canadian wheat land falls to them but on the Map is just the normal way. We know ya tricks 1st hand dude but now try dude, got to relents reason why obama and Robinson shares their thoughts on media as they cant organize crime as we got roof or window motion sensor lights/alarm or digital telescope with WI-fi fixed on drones sides with tilting dimension of up-to 120 degree which check on objects both down the earth while up and vice versa and from both sides where the KM distance it can reach where another similar drone is placed and on and on till ya border end to avoid much drones which not accurate in capturing objects if not having that similar telescope camera as explained above but normal camera of short distance capture.Reason why SA or Canada people say try their lands out of the above placed security measures, so Mr Intruder think twice b4 u came to the multitude as described above synonymous with huge people. Business can stop that way with all laid down measures but happy are we as we got now cheap and affordable home and office appliances or E-machines like cars and motor bikes to bridge that monotony syndrome as u can be in-house or on the road as it involves no extra-money to push time as u can pick like 1 going alongside ya way to give ya some coins even if u r nor registered taxi operator and its allowed out of the above, rather if they do not the same they ought to have hearken to Kebi echoing demands. As in the link below

https://www.google.com/search?q=obama+and+robinson+meeting+people+in+houses&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwiK5t6yk9HqAhXC0-AKHQRpCK0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=obama+and+robinson+meeting+people+in+houses&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1DehwFYhJ8BYIOpAWgAcAB4AIABhQKIAckQkgEFMC4zLjeYAQCgAQGqAQtnd3Mtd2l6LWltZw&sclient=img&ei=nvQPX4qfH8KngweE0qHoCg&bih=910&biw=1280&client=firefox-b-d

With huge people, kinda, a curse will befall ya if u don’t tolerate them as they give u that look. U will be caned dude, stop ya laziness as with Nigerian movies got into peoples minds yet we got Minneapolis Judgement meaning we get to 2 places either Hell or Heaven no-matter ya being or race, so stop, u will be more respected if we got other going to options like with the movies as 10 - 100 in 1 but sadly we got 2 places where u can judge where u r going as seeing ya self or another in a small enclosed furnace as a wake up call to repent or change in a bad thing u r doing. Whats the hoot dude, if i repent no-matter my stand with u i get to heaven and that’s it maybe what they are looking in people as a tame lion of Judah looks, No-where to go, even if left alone as game parks far dude, so obeys the protocols dude.

Canadian made military vehicle in the link below as well as Azerbaijan and Indonesia

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fminiarmour.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F05%2Finkas-huron-apc-2.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fminiarmour.net%2F2014%2F05%2F21%2Fnew-apc-made-in-canada%2F&tbnid=8BtQ4FAkVgWn2M&vet=12ahUKEwjntKjnldHqAhXlgHMKHbCKCBQQMygEegUIARCnAQ..i&docid=Hhx1Om0sIdYm3M&w=1083&h=723&q=canada%20made%20military%20vehicle%20images&client=firefox-b-d&ved=2ahUKEwjntKjnldHqAhXlgHMKHbCKCBQQMygEegUIARCnAQ

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvestnikkavkaza.net%2Fupload2%2Ffiles%2F1-azerbaijan-veapons.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fvestnikkavkaza.net%2Fnews%2Fpolitics%2F33226.html&docid=V1ix1n72UJrJ4M&tbnid=VAnP7XdbrgFDvM&vet=1&w=367&h=275&itg=1&client=firefox-b-d&bih=910&biw=1280&ved=2ahUKEwj-g_LrldHqAhVOyoUKHQ7CC5gQxiAoB3oECAEQKA&iact=c&ictx=1

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fstatik.tempo.co%2Fdata%2F2015%2F08%2F01%2Fid_423845%2F423845_620.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fen.tempo.co%2Fread%2F700677%2Findonesian-military-manufacturer-signs-weapons-deal-with-uae&docid=h-2X9mV38rGG3M&tbnid=3K4YJLz5Ln9XDM&vet=1&w=620&h=355&itg=1&client=firefox-b-d&bih=910&biw=1280&ved=2ahUKEwi11syRltHqAhUoyYUKHZ2pC1QQxiAoA3oECAEQHA&iact=c&ictx=1

Ghana made guns in the link below and Uganda made missiles

https://www.thenewhumanitarian.org/report/86728/ghana-homemade-gun-sales-flourish

https://www.independent.co.ug/whos-buying-biggest-guns/

https://africa-facts.org/african-countries-that-manufacture-some-of-their-own-weapons/

Stephenson was prophet of doom and in-pretense though the truth not ascertained his face was dis-formed so people though he ate corpse ‘Mosingi‘ as some locals insinuates the same will fall on ya wanting pity from people as disabled even if u did not know as symptoms becomes less severe on that ground than if u know like eating just corpse soup added to ya soup in a hotel or Like turkey/chicken or sausage partly made out of the same, so stop grave exhumation out of the above as Obamas is a blessing in disguise with that to help us know and convince the world as we got evidence to exhume the grave and ask our-self where di the corpse got to as maybe Mlk new of the above that’s why championed his death cause he thought those people are on his neck will never leave him no-matter what dude, saying he is Christ want to anger God to speak as their excuse as saying they don’t know the bible truths as has been changed. Have mercy with us, much made artificially, fuel and water and misingi with voodoo at bar kalare with bamboo trees as women shouted release Barnabas to imbue us with truths to avoid hiccups of what made Christi be crucified dude.

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sirjustice338-blog · 4 years

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Easy magics dude

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+inside+of+a+subway+train&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwje5amP0dbqAhVF6uAKHRtjDxUQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

Baby pampers and women sanitary pads are made using cotton soaked in cold water then the boom process done as spit saliva etc and their your pads or pamper or cloth pieces.

Coco butter made using black, kinda, going bad avocado where cold cocoa solution is added in the boom process and their is ya applying oil

https://www.specialtyproduce.com/produce/Puebla_Avocados_10594.php

https://www.capitalfm.co.ke/business/2020/01/kenya-tea-export-earnings-down-by-16-4pc/

https://www.businessdailyafrica.com/markets/commodities/Kenya-tea-exports-fall-31pc-in-June/3815530-5244164-s8k0rcz/index.html

http://www.worldstopexports.com/kenyas-top-10-exports/

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/07/24/425890188/carnations-coffee-and-denim-how-kenya-makes-its-economy-hum

http://www.worldstopexports.com/ugandas-top-10-exports/

http://www.worldstopexports.com/tanzanias-top-10-exports/

https://www.businessdailyafrica.com/markets/marketnews/Listed-banks-profit-up-9pc-in-last-cap-results/3815534-5376114-a2902n/index.html

Still u understand not link, u r jew who did not got Moses, then a plan devised 4 ya in ya darkness, u will be killed or silenced still not knowing a link and aint a hoot to us bro.

If people stuck to their family, u see the vegetation drying up as brown not green but when the reverse done the earth opens on that side synonymous with Eu or America where people leave their parents to be decisive alone in life dude, Try that bro and many want it not out of the above if u know not girl. Who will tell ya this if not me. Monitoring my life that am about to eat much, which if not so few yards away they start giving ya names as begging yet is them who wants from u with their kids now that we know how machines made, not have to live in 1 house to come out with the same, that they have good things in store, which aint even theirs as they don't own it but planning to hack what cant be hacked, bad Character Kikuyu blooded but blessing in disguise as the world have known u now that it has gone sour with ya and even tourist.

When working in town and leaving job late, fear and sense on the other hand engulfs ya, that they can give ya bad name or can say u r concerned about the city to start loading ya with burden as people who knows how the world goes so can monitor the nation and that's it dude, so desist from the above if u want not so loaded burden as can be forced as other people left are of good life not concerned with such above and reason why big bodied people even if population less so people enjoy good life on security they are dull and not short or tall people like the Japanese can invade them and that's why women r trained to dislike tall and huge people as short people also got the same disadvantage as cheeky, giving in to much play creating room 4 invasion as Germany with Poland during WW2 as now Kenyan people needs the same. In this world people of medium heights are the best protagonists and are feared as the Japanese as their land is an island and with the water or air telescope mounted on a drone, it can be calculated with the fastest submarine and jet of the enemy and placed all that distance from their shore so at night they don't reach the land to invade synonymous with USA-Hiroshima/nagsaki bombings as in the link below as we have such machines above with night vision bro.

https://phys.org/news/2020-01-china-meter-fast-radio-telescope.html

1 km telescope 4 ya house security in the link below to detect any foreign thing like intruders on drones from sides or directly above synonymous with SA

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+container+shops+doors+in+kenya&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjKr4Cf3dbqAhUeAWMBHW7eATwQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

https://unsplash.com/s/photos/classic-car

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=canadian+military+vehicel+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjoguTA3dbqAhWK2BQKHfIKBxcQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

And telescope and digital Binoculars technology can be placed as well in military vehicle to reduce the rate of attacks or increase their vigilance.

https://www.google.com/search?source=univ&tbm=isch&q=ajab+wheat+flour+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwit5ZHKjtHqAhVkA2MBHei8CN0QsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

Canadian made military vehicle in the link below as well as Azerbaijan and Indonesia

Ghana made guns in the link below and Uganda made missiles

https://www.thenewhumanitarian.org/report/86728/ghana-homemade-gun-sales-flourish

https://www.independent.co.ug/whos-buying-biggest-guns/

https://africa-facts.org/african-countries-that-manufacture-some-of-their-own-weapons/

Stephenson was prophet of doom and in-pretense though the truth not ascertained his face was disformed so people though he ate corpse ‘Mosingi‘ as some locals insinuates the same will fall on ya wanting pity from people as disabled even if u did not know as symptoms becomes less severe on that ground than if u know like eating just corpse soup added to ya soup in a hotel or Like turkey/chicken or sausage partly made out of the same, so stop grave exhumation out of the above as Obamas is a blessing in disguise with that to help us know and convince the world as we got evidence to exhume the grave and ask our-self where di the corpse got to as maybe Mlk new of the above that’s why championed his death cause he thought those people are on his neck will never leave him no-matter what dude, saying he is Christ want to anger God to speak as their excuse as saying they don’t know the bible truths as has been changed.

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telling-our-stories · 5 years

Text

Coming out stories

A heads-up. These are the original stories, however, they are anonymous. This wasn't intentional, I just screwed up and didn't tag. These stories, aren't mine, so if I've posted yours and you want it taken down. Please, just ask me.

Alright.

I am tired of people who are against the LGBTQ+ community. Its alright to have an opinion. It is not alright to put people down for being themselves. The first pride was a riot, a fight for what they believe in. I'm trying to do the same. I'm trying to gather the stories of the fallen, the ones who are still standing, the people who are willing to fight for everything they are. And I am fully willing to take a stand and fight to prove we exist. To prove that we're here, and we aren't backing down.

Hello, my name is Dustyn. I'm here today to collect stories from the LGBTQ+ community. There's a lot of people who are against us, which is exactly why we need to stand our ground. I'm not asking for a fight, I'm asking for your stories. My story is not yet finished, though I'm a bisexual trans male. Our stories are important, because they show who we are and how far we've come. I've struggled a lot in my life, but I've made it. So have others. Here are some of those stories. We'll start with mine. I've gone through many identities, mostly trying to figure myself out. I'm still doing that. My family doesn't accept me for me, but I have many friends who do. There are so many accepting people in life, and I appreciate all of you who are proud to be who you are. Whether closeted or not, you are all valid and amazing.

"Hello my name is Melissa and i am bisexual. My family didn't really have a harsh reaction to it other than the fact that they didn't understand it at first. That was most of my trouble was people saying that bisexual wasnt valid. Im sorry mine is so short but i think the moral is that you are valid. No matter what you identify as on any spectrum in the LGBTQ+ community. Also even if your outside of the LGBTQ+ community and your just an ally. We love you and you are all valid.”

"Salutations everyone. My name is Talan. I am non binary, panromantic and i am currently between asexual and demisexual. I was raised in a very christian household where my mother and father had very strict beliefs. They believed that being anything but straight and to me being anything other than my assigned gender was a sin, and many people still say that to me. When I came out to my dad he flipped, he took me out of school for a year and put me in online school. During this time in my life I had reached a dark time where i thought that it was never going to get better but trust me it does. I am still living with my dad who does not accept me and at this point we don't talk that much, but it does get better. We have gotten to the point where we can have a civil conversation with each other and im back in school. I have an amazing girlfriend and multiple qpps who i love very much. Everybody at school is very loving and supporting. Remember that family is not chosen for you, you make your own family. If you ever feel down than just know that there are so many amazing and kind people in the world who love you for who you are, no matter what that may be. You are loved."

“I'm glad you reached out to me, anything to help people understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I am 19 now and I came out to my family at the age of 14. My parents were the typical ones who said it was just a phase and it would not last but here I am five years later and I made it through. There was a point where I had no one to turn to but then i met my amazing boyfriend. He helped me through the good and the bad and showed me that there were things to stay for. I am now in college and pursuing a career in photography at the University of Arizona. I hope that could help a bit!”

"Okay. Well. My coming out experience was definitely not expected in the slightest. I was in the 5th grade. Realizing that I liked both boys and girls was quite the revelation. I had a lesbian friend who was the first ever gay person I met or knew. I remember being backstage of a show I was in and just crying through the words, "I know I'm supposed to love guys, but I love girls too". After that. I didn't tell anyone else, until 6th grade. I was a track meet and a group of people I sat with was talking to my lesbian friend about kissing. I forget the exact conversation, but I spoke up and said I would kiss her. A Christian girl in my class was nearby and heard. She was disgusted. Therfore by the end of the week, I was completely outed to my entire school. It was ugly, but it got better over time I guess. I'm a junior in high school now. I have yet to come out to my parents, but at least I know that I am finally comfortable in my my sexual orientation and gender identify (demigirl, which I didn't figure out until a few short months ago)."

"Hey, I haven't actually come out to everyone yet but I have told a few people and all of their reactions were positive "oh you're bi? cool" and that was it. No "so do you like me?" or anything which was super great. So I was "straight" and when I heard about the LGBT community I was "straight" for about another five days. I did some thinking and realised I'd actually liked girls before, and shortly after came out as bi to a few of my close friends at the time. They were all supportive, bar one who said "you're just looking for attention lmao".Coincidentally, she had also come out as pan and had received the usual "you're attracted to pans?". I go to a Christian school, so it would be pretty disastrous if the news leaked out, but naturally it did. Not everyone knows, maybe about 10% of my grade. I suspect some teachers found out about how some people were LGBT (not many though, there's about 5 of us), because our dean of year gave the "you're too young to know that" talk. Mostly at school we get sheltered from all LGBT news and details at all, and my parents hadn't told me much about it either, even though they are supportive and would be okay if I came out as bi."

"I'm bisexual. I first came out to my elementary friends over the phone 3 years after we went to different middle schools. They were mostly all so accepting and I was so overwhelmed I hung up on them. I spent a few minutes laying on the ground clutching that phone to my chest, I'd never felt so loved. I cried and cried and cried because these people atleast the ones who accepted me see me different now but are okay with it. Two years later, now, I still haven't come out to my parents. I still need a few years but I'm a little bit more open at school now most of my friends accept me. Others were cut off, I can't do that with my family so they still don't know. Not as if they would take me seriously either way. I want to get past college get a place a stable life then maybe I'll be ready, just maybe. Thank you for listening to my story."

"I was surrounded by my Uncle and his husband for years. I always knew that gay people existed. When I was younger I never thought anything different of myself; I thought I was one of the boys.

It never really clicked that I was the only one who saw it that way.

When I was 7, my mother and sister suggested I take dance I shot them down saying "that's for girls."

They didn't get it.

I wasn't entirely sure what came over me in that moment either but I know it felt right.

As myself and the people I knew grew up I realised I wasn't happy with the way I looked. I tossed it up as your typical dislike.

~every girl went through that at my age didn't they~

All the girls I knew were so happy that they were becoming women and I just sat in the back wondering why I didn't feel the same way.

I still didn't get it.

Once my depressed state got worse I decided to read into ways to love yourself and your body.

I started taking selfies, dressing up, wearing heels and makeup, forcing myself to sing even though I hated the way I looked and sounded.

It got worse.

I broke down when nobody was looking and acted like it was fine; like I wasn't praying that whatever I was feeling would go away for even a second.

And one day I looked in the mirror and I thought "this isnt right. This isn't me. This isn't what I want. Who in the hell is that person staring back at me?"

And I accepted it. That I would never be who I should be. That I would never be happy. Because nobody would love me. Nobody would want me. And nobody would accept me. Because if I was happy then that meant my family wouldn't have had the little girl theh thought they had gotten.

And up until recently no one knew that I broke down every night, that my thoughts got so bad I wanted to drown in my own tears so that maybe it would all be over. Because to me coming out to them was worse than death.

And here I am years later. My family knows but they don't care. They don't try to comprehend that this repression it kills me all the time. So I gathered my money got myself exactly what they told me they would never let me have and I lie. I go behind their backs and I live like the man I really am online. I bind my chest and I hide from their sight and when they ask I say it's just their eyes.

Because if they knew - if my mother knew - they would rather me suffer day after day than be who I am."

"heyo, i read your post and id like to put something to it.

i am a part of the community, havent came out to my parents yet, because i know for a fact id be sent to a psichologist or thrown out. but i am me online

an old friend of mine is a trans guy and found me a few weeks ago. he said he saw that i support LGBT+ and it was so comforting for him. a friend who i haven't talked with for 9 years!after he told me that he lost half of his family for being himself, his dad ignores him since, but he has a boyfriend and got his life together

and that i could be a little comfort for him is really nice. even the people who are closeted can be helpful in the community."

"Well, my mom took it well. I had gotten stuck in my closet and then she got me unstuck and I told her I was queer.

My brother, we were sitting in the car and he told me he always knew, but I had to keep it a secret from my dad or else bad things would happen.

My friends hugged me and started to use my name and pronounsSo coming out to my dad and stepmom, it wasn't even a coming out but a forced outage.

They took my phone away the night of a Panic attack that I still have nightmares over and searched it. They read all my messages.... everything.

I wanted to scream for it to stop, but I knew it wouldn't. They told me that they loved me, but I had to stop being me and I have to go back to being a girl who was cishet

But once you have a taste of freedom of who you really are, you can never go back ...I couldn't hide again. I just had to wait till I could spread my wings and be free somewhere else."

"Ok so for the thing you tagged me in, I don’t exactly have a coming out story yet, and I’m not sure of my identity entirely. I’ve tried out tons of labels and am sticking with queer at the moment just cuz it takes the stress off of picking an extremely definite word to describe me. I came out as queer last year, but I don’t consider it a coming out story because 1) I only told my friends and not my family, and 2) queer doesn’t completely define me. In real life, I’m doing my best to go back in the closet, but I think my “friends” may have told other people who spread rumors around my school, so it’s been difficult. A bunch of people make random references to me liking boys (I’m amab) and it made me uncomfortable enough that I started telling them I’m straight. I’m planning on staying as far in the closet as possible until people get more accepting and I understand myself fully."

"It's not a coming out story (mostly) but it's a realization of sorts.

Yesterday our Social Studies teached asked us to form groups and discuss a contemporary issue that we would present at the front in a few minutes. Long story short I suggested LGBT+ community and rights, which my group mates accepted. I live in a really conservative country (with at least 81% of the entire population identifying as Christians) and that's an extremely taboo topic. It ended up leading the teacher asking us to raise our hands if we believed the lgbt community should be allowed Civil Union, not considering religion an all. I was so afraid to raise my hand, but it was what I believed in and I couldn't live with it if I didn't show it, so I raised my hand. I didn't really do this as a member of the community, I wasn't thinking of myself. I was thinking of a world where this is accepted in my country, where I can go outside and be open and love whoever I wanted to, and I guess the idea of standing up for what I believed in was what pushed me to do that. A big majority of the class was against, and I was just so afraid even though some small logical part of me knew they would not do anything.Today, our Civics teacher had us grouped again to make a live news report and once again, my group (international news) got assigned lgbt+ community because of our listed problems yesterday. I suggested interviewing a member of the community and basically came out to two people I knew were trustworthy (nearly all three other members in that group but thank God I think the third one did not hear) and we agreed that I could be used if I only had my voice recorded and edited to not sound like me. Just a few hours ago I found out that one of my classmates, who I thought was a nice sweet boy, turned out to be a big homophobe. "Sodom and Gomora and Liberals are teaching unnatural things" kind of guy.I guess that broke something in me, because another thing I was really passionate about for when I grew up was this certain job, though no one supported me. I used to want to do that so much the idea of anything else repelled me, sometimes the idea of the other more "acceptable" jobs brought me to tears. Somehow this one admission that I thought everyone should have the right to at least a civil union and finding out my classmates didn't believe in that crushed something in me hard enough that I lost the passion to do that job I wanted. It makes no sense how this connected with that apart from the fact that neither are things I have been or would be supported on, but I guess seeing that this world isn't really safe made me lose hope.I felt scared to raise my hand, almost like I was actually coming out (which I now realize I'm absolutely never doing to many of those people) and the realization that some place I thought was a safe space for me, because all of those people in that class, I thought I could trust them. I've been with them since before I could spell "friend" correctly, they're family to me, I believed I would be safe and accepted, and then came to find out that wasn't quite the case...But well, basically I was terrified then crushed to find out that I could have outted myself to a group of people who would not take my news lightly

Found out some people I thought were friends thought people like me were broken

Found out some people I used to have the biggest crushes on didn't even believe in letting people have a civil union."

"I’m very excited to see brave people like you ready to start a revolution, so I thought I’d share my, sorta, coming out experience.

So I have divorced parents meaning I’d have to come out to four parents. This happened mainly last year. I was pretty sure I was bi, (tho I now identify panromantic demigirl) I knew my dad and stepmom would be great with it, and they were. But when it came to my mother, well, she wasn’t really homophobic, but she had different ideas about how a gay person should behave. She outed me to her after overhearing a convo with my friends. She then told me I was too young, and gave the “its a phase” talk. She knew I was fairly open about it because I lived by a motto to “be so myself that other people feel brave enough to be themselves too” But she believed a gay person should keep it a secret. Nowadays I don’t believe in the process of “coming out” I am open about my sexuality and gender but I don’t do formal coming outs. I always believed that if straights don’t have to, neither should I just because I “don’t fit a default” My mother wants me to come out to my stepfather even tho he already knows. I thought sharing a coming out story that also showed you should never feel obligated to come out. My mother guilt trips me about it, but I remain rooted in my beliefs that I shouldn’t have to come out, which I think is valid.

Hope my story can help anyone and just wanna say you are so so valid, amazing and powerful and should never feel pressured to be open if you don’t want to. Long live the revolution!!!🏳️‍🌈."

"Hello! I read your post about collecting LGTBQA+ stories and I thought Id share my brief experiences as a bi girl from Germany ^^

Tbh I never made a big deal about coming out, as I personally feel it goes to show that we're revealing a wierd secret, and Id like my sexualtiy to be something normal, not a main identifying characteristic. And everyone of my friends or classmates that I mention it to appear to have no problem with that whatsoever, and as far as I know Im not percieved as predatory either.

My family, however, is a whole different matter. While Im sure that my mums side of the family would be perfectly fine and my parents know already, when youve heard your fathers parents talk about eastern europeans and other immigrants using only slurwords and your uncles parents have expressed their absolute disgust about seeing a gay couple enjoy a nice picnic at the park, you get very cautious about who you tell. Especially since I dont want to put the supportive family in the position of having to consider whom they can talk to about this.

Another thing that Ive noticed after my exchange year in Sweden and seeing my first pride, though not having the time to attend, on my way there in Copenhagen, is how little support my country gives to this community from a social perspective. At my swedish school, all the teachers had a rainbow keyband from a *seminar about LGBTQA+ people*, something Im sure Germany would never do, and all of them kept it. There was no question whether you support us or not, it was an acceped part of social life and no big deal; we even did a private introduction round for pronouns!

And then I came back here. During pride month, there were no rainbow decorations, the most I saw of a parade was two discarded paper flags on the ground afterwards. When I vented about this to my ally friend, she only said that "some people and companies just like to stay neutral". Try all of them in Germany, but sure.

I know our community has come far, but I can also see that it isnt fsr enough, and that is the fight I am still fighting.

Hope this helps ^^."

"Alright. Mine isnt that interesting but I'll do my best :)

I came out as bisexual when i was in the sixth grade. It wasnt a huge deal to my mom. She said okay and we went on with our lives. Around the end of that year, i told her i thought i was trans and she said i wasnt. I came out to her again six months later and she said the same thing. There was a lot of yelling. Mind you, she isnt transphobic at all. The third time... she was so done with me. She yelled and so did i. It took four different times for her to accept me, and even then, i had to do the last time over text because i was scared of her reaction."

"So, my name is Ell. I identify as queer and demigender. I don't know what to say here really early than it's important to find others like you when you're not as close to your family as you used to be. Because of your identity. My family is more accepting than most, but still. The community online is so so important to me, and this project makes me really happy. So thank you. "

"I was at sea world and my mom was in the car I was talking about how my dad was super homophobic. My mom says that my dad acts like it’s a disease I said will if it is then I have got it, My mom is understanding and says that she will love me no matter what."

"So, I’m non-binary and bisexual. That’s a big no-no in a latino family like mine, it’s always grow up, get married with the opposite sex, and have kids. I don’t know why I felt that I could just say anything to my mom one day and she immediately objected. “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian or just confused? You can’t like more than one gender. Also, what’s this about a non gender? You’re either a boy or a girl, that’s it.”

Thankfully after a lecture and me apologizing (though I did nothing but tell her more about me) she let the subject go. I’ve never told my dad because I know mom just will get in the way and say I’m lying again, but at least my friends are understanding and almost completely LGBTQ+."

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dropintomanga · 5 years

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To a New Era for Japan and Maybe Us

Starting May 1, 2019 marks the start of a new era in Japan and the end of a 30-year period which sounds as hectic as a long-running manga.

A lot of things have happened to Japan over the Heisei Era, a 30-year period between January 1989 and April 2019 where Emperor Akihito ruled Japan as the 125th emperor. Japan was a booming country in the 1980s’, only to fall hard into a recession that still has some ramifications today. Japan now has to figure out how to deal with globalization, an ever-growing aging population, women’s rights, and a lot more as the spotlight is on them when the 2020 Olympics hits Tokyo.

But Japan managed to captivate the world with the rise of anime and manga to overseas audiences during the Heisei Era. While thinking about how much Japanese pop culture has grown, some words about what makes it appealing stuck with me.

It’s these closing words from a Japan Times feature on anime and manga becoming global phenomena over the past 3 decades.

“Compared with so much of Western pop’s tired innuendos, ironies and increasingly politicized racial and sexual controversies, anime and manga often feel more like earnest expressions of personal yearning and the pleasure of entertainment. Through shared media, diversity and longing, individuals around the world have come to love Japanese culture through its most embraceable, if imaginary, gods: Goku, Pikachu and Astro Boy. Money might well ruin it.

Note that these words are from Roland Kelts, author of Japanamerica and one of the premier experts in Japanese pop culture. To put those words in context, Viz Media founder Seiji Horibuchi was quoted in the feature - saying that anime and manga shouldn’t compete with Hollywood because being mainstream would kill both. He argues that anime and manga should stay where they are as unique subcultures that appeal to online audiences.

I have thought about Western pop culture and all the controversies surrounding things like diversity, feminism, etc. To be honest, I don’t mind politically correct culture. However, I find it problematic when a lot of the controversy hits online because all it does is fuel emotions in a really bad way. Which then leads to so much unnecessary anger and fatigue for everyone involved. There are people who take things out of a grander context just to rile people up for no good reason but for attention.

I think opinions are fine, but there’s way too many opinions on things that may not be as serious as one might think. I don’t like how some controversies are handled, that’s all.

I might be speaking for those who are in-between both sides in that there’s so much expectations on how to behave, what to say, what to believe, who to be around, etc. This all creates a kind of cognitive dissonance where one has to keep questioning everything they do. No one has time to think it through or else they get left behind. In a way, it sounds a bit forced.

I know some folks don’t believe in the idea of forced diversity, but it does exist in things like workplace diversity programs. There has been a bigger initiative for companies to get employees on board with diversity. However, all the programs fell flat. Why? For starters, everyone has bias towards something. If you shame them for being (insert bad label), they don’t feel the incentive to change. You might think that they can go screw themselves, but we need as many allies as we can. And if that involves getting "terrible” people on board, then so be it.

I’ll use a good example to illustrate - tolerance of gay people. It didn’t just rise out of nowhere by gay activists only talking to gay folks. They got a majority of non-gay allies along the way, even though there was opposition from their own community. The activists knew that if they can relate to straight people in ways that bound them together (i.e. marriage and family values), then they can start a big movement. And they did. (There’s a whole podcast about this, which is REALLY good to hear.)

There have been studies where companies were told to force employees to embrace ideas like diversity/positivity or leave. What happened was that the companies who used mandatory rules didn’t improve whatever ideals they preached at all. Attitudes didn’t change or changed very little (ie people were still jerks outside of office). Minority employees didn’t get promoted. No one felt they had a say in things if the process was flawed. When things were pro-voluntary (i.e. voluntary training), then things actually improved. Employees were more willing to be diverse and there was better treatment of employees.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that there’s a “lack of control” factor that plays into why people want/don’t want diversity and such in their media. I’m not saying that we stop fighting for what’s right, but we need to ask ourselves if we’re actually fighting for something for everyone or just doing it because we want to control it to please only us.

Now how all of this relates to anime and manga? For starters, anime and manga were always made for Japanese audiences in mind. This is more evident in manga due to all the many titles and subjects the medium covers. You can’t expect a mangaka to think of the entire world when drawing. They have to make money for themselves and please their home country first and foremost. While mangaka do take others’ opinions into consideration, their diverse imagination comes from having a kind of freedom that comes from their own experiences. They were diverse without being told to be diverse.

That’s the paradox that I thought about in my head. Force should only be used as a last resort. Sometimes, I feel that Western culture preaches force as a 1st or 2nd line of defense because most Westerners were taught horrible lies on how to behave and get what they want.

Maybe that’s why I’ve noticed how folks in the West are looking to Eastern philosophies like mindfulness and Buddhism to get through their own mental issues. Western culture is indeed polarizing, so sure. However, there have been criticisms over how the West treats Eastern principles to make themselves feel more “positive” instead of actually looking at the pain/stress they go through and be humbled by it (which is what Buddhism/mindfulness are truly about). It’s very hard for some people to learn self-acceptance and commitment over here sometimes.

To be honest, anime and manga are a reflection of Eastern principles, good and bad. There’s stuff that makes you think, cringe, gasp, laugh, cry, or be disgusted. Anime and manga have gotten away with so much compared to other media in terms of censorship. For a country that’s so homogeneous, the diverse amount of anime and manga in Japan is astounding.

Anime and manga are here to stay, but I really don’t know if they will ever reach Hollywood-level. I know there are parties who want anime to be validated in America among the eyes of many. I just hope that they don’t take on corporate America strategies and preach diversity for the sake of being cool and with the times. I’m looking at you, big tech companies and companies who say they stand for something with neat ads, but don’t really care as their other tactics say otherwise. That is what bothers and scares me the most more than anything.

Japan is now in the Reiwa Era, which is supposed to preach peace and tranquility. I just hope the West does the same. If it doesn’t, then well, let’s just continue to make our lives as anime as possible because after all, we really know what it’s like to be diverse.

#anime #manga #fandom #psychology of diversity #Heisei Era #Reiwa Era #psychology

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 5 years

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It's time to reclaim singledom as a symbol of power

"Are you swiping?" my best friend asks me over breakfast one morning. I gulp down a spoonful of woefully bland porridge and think for a moment about how to reply.

The answer was no, I wasn't swiping. But in saying so, I was met with a bewildered expression. I'm reluctant to swipe these days, or just to date in general, due to a long, troubling pattern of power imbalances that have occurred in every single relationship I've had since I started dating when I was 15.

Now, at age 30, my status as the perennial singleton is firmly established after taking countless protracted hiatuses from dating. Not because I don't like the idea of being in a couple, but rather because I find dating really hard. Let's be real, it's a truth universally acknowledged that dating is plain sailing for literally no one. But, as a woman who dates men, I've found that every breed of relationship I've ever had — from casual sex to long-term relationships — has felt completely antithetical to the vision of equality I've envisaged for my own life. The lack of agency I feel in my love life made me want to remain single just so I could cling on to any semblance of control. So, in order to avoid feeling disempowered, I have periodically opted out of dating.

It strikes me as odd that even in 2019 — in this new wave of the women's movement — my lack of a partner renders me something of an anomaly, an outlier among my friends and family. For decades, we've been trying to rebrand the trope of the single woman from sad lonely spinster to something more reflective of reality: an independent, discerning woman who is resistant to the pressures of the patriarchal social values we've inherited. But, is this rebrand even working? Because, from where I'm standing, the very same pressures Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw were up against in the '90s and '00s feel just as prevalent today.

At every single step of dating and in every genre of relationship, I come face to face with power disparities and micro-aggressions that are tinged with misogyny. During my last serious relationship, my boyfriend hurled gendered insults — "bitch," "crazy," "insane" — at me when I tried to assert myself or express that I wasn't happy about something. He would openly objectify my female friends, appraising their physical attractiveness with nominal values. I dumped him and vowed to be more discerning about the next man I called my boyfriend. The next person I dated rolled his eyes when I spoke and replied "come on, Rachel" when I asked questions about subjects I didn't know much about. The realm of online dating brings other headaches, like being pressured by matches to send nudes, receiving unsolicited dick pics, and harassment, and verbal abuse if I take too long to reply to messages or don't want a second date.

In my sexual experiences with men, a marked power imbalance has left me feeling vulnerable and, at times, traumatised. When I look back on past encounters through a post-#MeToo lens, I can see that a troubling proportion of my sexual experiences fell into what I'd characterise as "grey areas"— sex that's non-criminal, but can feel violating. I experienced coercion, pain, and violence during sex that caused me trauma. During one experience, I asked the guy I was having sex with to stop because I had changed my mind. He proceeded to shout at me and yell insults until my housemate intervened and helped remove him from our house.

Perhaps it's me, perhaps I'm picking the wrong men, I've told myself countless times. In an attempt to address those concerns, I have re-calibrated the choices I've made in selecting a partner. A few years ago, I vowed to only date men who identified as feminists, but in venturing down this path, I encountered a slew of other hurdles, principally so-called performative wokeness. This term, which has recently entered the popular lexicon, refers to people who publicly claim to care about social justice, they identify as allies to women, people of colour, LGBTQ people, and people with disabilities. In some of my liaisons with men who identified as feminists, their behaviour during our relationship ultimately did not match the values they purported to hold. Behind closed doors, there'd be micro-aggressions like gaslighting and subtle ways of patronising me that made me question my own intellect.

SEE ALSO: Stop telling women how they should talk

In reality, it's far more complex than simply the choices I make about the type of guys I go for. Humorist and author Blythe Roberson, author of How To Date Men When You Hate Men, says dating is hard for everyone, but "dating as a straight woman is complicated by the fact that the gender you're attracted to has vast systemic power over you."

"This can manifest in large ways, but also in more insidious ways I used to brush off: men saying they could never be in a relationship with someone more successful than they are, or men treating me as frivolous for thinking and writing about dating at all," says Roberson.

My experiences are, of course, not representative of all men. Nor do they represent the experiences of all women. Trans women who date men face a different set of challenges when dating, chief of which is being sexualised but not respected.

Paris Lees, British Vogue columnist and trans awareness campaigner, says there are some men who are happy to have sex with trans women, but feel shame about dating trans women in a serious capacity. "It's really interesting when you tell guys that you're trans because immediately it's like, 'Oh we don't have to treat you with as much respect now.' Not all of them, but a lot of guys, they think 'Oh, this is the one I'm gonna fuck, but I'm not gonna take home to meet mum and dad.'"

She believes the conversations surrounding whether or not trans women are "real women" have heightened misogyny for trans women. "At the height of the 'are trans women real women' debate in the British media about a year ago, I was actually dealing with bullshit from a man and I just remember thinking, 'This is bullshit,'" says Lees. "Seriously, these people are telling me I'm not a real woman, and I'm out here getting all the misogyny."

Indiana Seresin, an academic specialising in feminist and queer theory, says she believes that "heterosexual dating is often just tiring for women."

"Dealing with issues like men's entitlement, the unequal division of physical and emotional labour, and men's ignorance about women's sexuality is exhausting," Seresin tells me. "As a queer woman I can confidently say that we don't face a lot of these issues, thank God. On the other hand, there are still cultural norms that we've regrettably inherited from heterosexuality, one of which is the couple form itself."

Rebranding the trope of the single woman

The hegemony of the couple form is something we, as a society, are struggling to shed. And it's standing in the way of our perceptions of what it means to opt out of traditional dating structures, like not participating in dating. When we look back on the pop culture poster girls for singledom — Jane Eyre, Elizabeth Bennett, Carrie Bradshaw, Bridget Jones, Kat Stratford — all their stories end happily with them finding Mr. Right. The story ends with these shrewish bluestockings finding a cure for their ailment — and that cure is a man. Not only do I not want to take this medicine, I know for a fact I'm not ill.

This notion of single women needing to be fixed is one that frustrates sex and wellness writer Maria Del Russo. "I feel like there's still this idea among women that 'single' is a negative state of being instead of just another label for society to slap on you," Del Russo tells me. "When a woman is single, there's something wrong with her, and she needs to fix it. There's this idea that single folks need fixing, and it's pretty messed up."

Not only do we think of single women as broken and waiting to be fixed, there's also the stereotype of the 'sad single gal' (think Bridget Jones in her PJs singing Céline Dion's "All By Myself" on her sofa).

Roberson says there's "definitely a trope of sad single girls or frustrated single girls" — a label she feels has been applied to her. "I think a lot of people conflate my book title and my relationship status with me being, like, an incel," says Roberson with a laugh.

Don't villainise women who don't date

Dating shouldn't be considered a compulsory module in the curriculum of life. Roberson says women's "increased access to education, jobs, birth control, abortion, and divorce means women don't have to structure their lives around men."

"So, if women have more financial choice, trying to shame women for making the choice to be single is another way that patriarchy tries to control them," she says.

This shaming can manifest itself in what Seresin calls "faux-concern" — something that many single people might be familiar with. Think about the moments people have cocked their heads to one side and said, "oh you'll find someone" or "he's out there" when you tell them you're single.

"Women who opt out of dating will be villainised by the broader culture (even if that comes in the form of faux-concern)," says Seresin. "I think the important thing is to see that villainisation itself as proof that you are doing something radical."

"Our society is still terrified by women who realise they don't need heterosexual partnership," she says. "But this is actually a major trope in early science fiction. Lots of this literature features worlds that have developed technology to reproduce without men and realise men suddenly have literally nothing to add to that society."

When a woman says she's happily single, believe her

In the same way that childless women are stigmatised, we're also socially conditioned to think that single women are tragic figures deserving sympathy, not admiration. In some cases, that social conditioning makes us disbelieve our own happiness when we're single. Lees says she feels very conflicted about how her views on other single women tally up with her own experience of singledom.

"Deep down at the back of my mind if I'm completely honest with you, I never really believed people that they're happily single," says Lees. "I have been single for the past year and honestly I am so happy. It's like I couldn't believe the evidence of my own life?"

Lees even found herself thinking that she was only telling herself she was happy to make herself feel better. But, over Christmas she did some stocktaking of her life and thought to herself: "No, maybe you are happy, Paris."

Question who society prizes as icons of singledom

In our pop culture celebrations of singleness, we need to think about how race also intersects with those we herald as the forerunners of the single-by-choice movement. "There's everyone going crazy over Rihanna saying she isn't looking for a man, or that video of Eartha Kitt laughing at the idea of compromising for a man," says Seresin. "They are both amazing statements that I totally agree with, but I think we need to be aware of how our culture frames black women as patron saints of singleness, because black women have always been excluded from mainstream narratives of romantic coupledom."

"In romantic comedies, for example, there is the role of the single, 'sassy' black best friend of the white woman who gets the man. By having Rihanna and Eartha Kitt be the major voices of refusing heterosexual coupledom, we are forcing them to play that role in the culture at large," says Seresin.

Throughout history the single black woman has been vilified. In the 1960s, the Moynihan Report — a report on black families authored during U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson's administration — essentially blamed black women for the demise of the traditional family structure. In 1976 and 1980, Ronald Reagan stirred up racist rhetoric by using the term "welfare queens" — a label historically applied to single black women — as a cautionary tale against people defrauding the welfare system. As our culture slowly re-calibrates its position on the palatability of single women, it's important to recognise the cultural legacy of scapegoating the single black woman.

See relationships as a side order, not a main course

It's hard not to think about dating and relationships when they're such a ubiquitous theme in mainstream culture. Love is on our TV screens, on the pages of the books we read, in our Instagram feeds, and in the conversations we have with friends. We might not be able to do much about the wider cultural fixation on love, but one thing we can try to change is how we, as individuals, prioritise relationships.

Del Russo, the sex and wellness writer, says that "until the culture as a whole changes, and stops selling us this package of relationships as a goal to clear, people need to start changing their own perceptions."

"I've started to think of a relationship the same way I think about a scented candle. (Stay with me.) Is it a nice thing that makes the space a little nicer? Sure. But is the space still a complete space without this scented candle? Absolutely," she says.

In order to start trying to change our perceptions about the importance of relationships, Del Russo advocates posing yourself two questions: "Why do I want to be in a relationship? What do I think a relationship could give me that I couldn't give myself?"

The weight of society's trepidation should never have to fall on just one woman's shoulders. And, as Seresin says, "no woman can change these things on her own — you can't be a one-woman revolution."

What we, as individuals can do, is interrogate our preconceived notions about dating. Like the idea that single women can't possibly be happy on their own. Or that even our most iconic single leading ladies eventually will succumb to love in the end.

Love or no love, I know I'm already complete and that's all that matters to me.

WATCH: Here are the top five moments where women stole the show at this year’s GRAMMYs

#_uuid:e79874b5-3744-32f1-ba17-48dbeaaf7a2b #_author:Rachel Thompson #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

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olaluwe · 7 years

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"Thinking, says the book: Speech: A High School Course", starts with a problem; a difficulty that is felt." Really, if there is anything for which humanity has consistently been called out since the morning of creation I can say with a fairly high degree of accuracy that it is ' Thinking.' Even at individual level, it is pretty the same thing. It is so because much of our advancements have been accomplished on the back of thorough thinking around many a societal or existential challenges whether it is in the field of natural or social science. Therefore straight thinking is a skill worth having by everybody; more so because we are bound to be challenged everyday of our life. Among others, challenge could manifest itself in form a faulty car, an empty pocket, unemployment, sickness, unwanted pregnancy, barrenness, failure in examination or business, chronic single's life, rape, rejection and loveless marriage. I can go on and on and on! But which life if I may ask doesn't at some point in its evolution suffers one or two of these aforementioned challenges? None! Where there is one even seemingly; it must be so categorized as a clear case of fraud. For life without challenge just as living without prayers is fraudulent; a fallacy. Don't get too excited, Pals, if today by some luck, magic or ingenious contrivances you are neither faced with any challenge nor are you praying to get by in life. It is most probable they are piling up for you somewhere along the journey of life. And you're bound to pick them up anyways as you stride on. So brave it when it hits you any moment from now. This goes to show that life is a constant battle for adjustment for the living. 'Therefore adjustment defined, is what a man gained when he comes to himself." Adjustment from disequilibrium to equilibrium; from discomfort to comfort. Where there is no maladjustment as enumerated above then, adjustment wouldn't necessarily be a topic here. If for anything, it is because most challenges of life are largely unpredictable leaving us more often than not desperately exposed to all manners of equally contrary sprits. i.e. fears, anxiety, hypertension, low self esteem, depression, and worst of all suicidal thoughts. Before I go on, can we just ponder briefly these questions- I mean why problems, challenges or maladjustment at all? The answer it must interest you lies in the fact that there is absolutely nothing in life without a purpose; a divine purpose; and that include problems or challenges as it were. They spring up on our paths either as a test of our resolve and faith or as a filter for our becoming the very best that we can possibly be. And the analogy still suffices here that: "Then iron wouldn't be as tough as it comes without the true test of fire". And the same applies to human kind. Can anyone call himself brave without been battle tried? God forbid! So have you been grappling with some challenges and you are at a loss on how best to solve them, at least dependably; without allowing things get messier. Now don't worry. In a way you are in the right company. I'm a life coach? No, I'm not. I'm just your regular passionate online guy who is always striving to help change the world in my own little ways in the pursuit of my 'philosophy of positively being and becoming by all'. Many times over I've had and still have my own share of some of life's meltdowns and I didn't get overwhelmed by them. So if I'm not; I bet you can't too. All it takes is being attentive to some of the suggestion I'm about to offer here. But before then, maybe I should share a story from my own personal experiential archive. "Some ten or so years ago I face the first romantic rejection in my life. You know when you love a woman so much you want to go down the aisle with her. And then one day she hits you with a 'No' for an answer even when all signs had strongly indicated it’s a foregone conclusion. Like every human I was naturally gutted and forlorn. But my response has been that of calm assurance and perfect wisdom in the midst of this sudden romantic storm and tidal waves. To her break up text message which reads "I can't marry you. God will provide you your own wife”. I replied “thank God it's never too late to seek a newer world". Despite that confident air of positivism, It will interest you that those ten years down the line the anticipated newer world never really materialized neither for me nor her. And today she has returned to the rejected stone http://ift.tt/2xqVcwy she ought to be in the first place". In a scenario like this, some men with different level of maturity are known to have done drastic things either to themselves or the women in question because they lack what is needed at a time like this which is ignoring the lies that they are inadequate as a men or women for some reasons. Worse still, some of these reasons may not even be your making. Creation for all I know is based on the principle of compensation. If you lose one thing; another will be giving unto you as replacement. And if that which you've lost is divinely yours; it would definitely navigates back to you. So, I got my justice. End of story." Now shall we get down to business? Thinking through a life challenge is pretty within the grasp of those who can excites their thing faculty. And that includes those who have ignorantly taken their own lives. I mean if not ignorance, what can possibly explain a young chap who committed suicide because he failed his semester exam. Or a woman who was sexually abused by a gang of morally depraved men resorting to killing herself or continue to wallow in feelings of inadequacy, dejection and shame. Agreed they needed help; and they could have gotten it. Many have the world because they were deliberate about it. Now to the list of my recipes for thinking through life’s challenges to a dependable solution: 1. Identify the problem and knowing what the immediate and remote causes are. Like I said earlier, life challenge can be any one of unemployment, disappointment in love or business, unwanted pregnancy and so on and so forth. The key to starting out towards a solution is identifying what yours is and knowing what the causes are immediate or remote. It could due to lack of self control in sexual matters as regards unwanted pregnancy. It could be due to lack of financial prudence, non-dedication to duty as regards why a business failed. 2. Reaching out or unburdening your heart to an ally, family and friends. You might want to talk to someone you feel would have a superiorly matured way of looking at things from among your allies, family and friends. After all, problem share is problem half solved. 3. Be open to the possibility of solution. Don't shut yourself out in disbelief, ignorance, self pity and grief. You're not the first to be in such situation and would not be the last. It doesn't matter for how long you've been under the yoke of the problem. Never shut yourself out to the possibility of solution by lackadaisically resigning to fate confining yourself to seclusion. 4. Be ready to go the extra mile. The lesson of the Biblical woman with twelve years issue of blood who brave the odds of the mammoth crowd surrounding our Lord Jesus Christ to get her healing by touching the hem of his robe cannot be over referenced. A few snippets of the narratives that were not told would be one or all of the following. I personally believe she must have spent quite a fortune in the interval leading to encountering Christ from consulting with one physician or the other. She must have been abandoned by some family members and friends. She must have become a pariah in the women associations or circles. But she got her healing anyways because she was always ready to go the extra mile. You can't begin to imagine how many people today have surrendered when they were closest to solution to some of the challenges confronting them. They simply tired out when it was the least thing expected of them. And how tragic! 5. Show determination even if people have made you subscribe to unworkable prescriptions some other time. You know just as we have fake doctors so we have certified ones. So it doesn't matter if you've lost monies to these horrible wretch; you just have to keep on trying; more so because just as we have lies so we have truth. 6. Learn to be calm in the face of storm sweeping through the ward of your life. Avoid taking a rash and irrational decision. Christ in God who speaks peace to the raging storm and tidal waters couple of millenium ago can still speak peace to your life or circumstances. All you need is faith and being meticulous. Don't resort to deathly escapism yet because you fail your semester exam, got separated from your wife or husband, ran into debt and the likes. 7. Do not resort to self help. In many instances, it has led to serious complications and even deaths avoidably. i.e. unwanted pregnancy is a good case in point. That's by the way an illustrative example. Prevention here is better than cure. Talk to someone in the know who might be eager to help for free or for a token. It is better that way than attempting to help yourself around something you knew practically nothing about. 8. Motivate yourself. It is normal to feel depressed some time; but what is not normal is staying depressed. So one of the best ways to handle depression is self motivation. Motivate yourself through positive thinking. You can also motivate yourself by listening to soul lifting music and motivational speeches. Tell yourself, you're not indomitable. Engage more in group activities. Do more of out-dooring chores. Devote yourself to helping others achieve their set goals. I bet in no time you will gain morale as a by product. Above all, ****Don't give up yet; because you're closer to dependable solution than you can imagine. The Rejected Stone

#IFTTT #Blogger

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