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ineadhyn · 4 months

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One of Astarion's most interesting scenes to me is the one in the flop house where we meet Dalyria and Petras. So, obviously, I felt the need to analyze it.

Astarion's behaviour switches the very moment he recognises his siblings. He has been snappy and theatrical before, but this now feels different. More raw. His posture changes, he bends forward in a pose like he's ready to attack. The moment he sees them, he enters fight mode.

And indeed, he does attack. He immediately goes for Petras, aiming for the weak spots he knows, his intelligence. It's bite or be bitten. If he doesn't do it (a choice you can make in his origin run for example) Petras does just the same, insulting Astarion using his known flaws: his arrogance, his egoism, claiming Astarion is all talk. This tells so much about Astarions life with them.

Dalyria is a bit calmer, she seems to care about both of them, at least enough that she doesn't want to see either of them killed. Dalyria does believe Cazador's claim of freeing them at least on surface level. She can be convinced to trust Astarion when he says he'll free them. She wants to be free. Asking why Astarion would come back if he was free, there is a certain longing in her voice. She's also the one telling Astarion about the ritual place, hoping Astarion might actually be able to free them, or at least not kill Petras.

Still the aggression in the room is not only between Astarion and Petras. Astarion also snaps at Dalyria when she's barely said anything. "That's not a way to welcome back a brother, Dal." The three of them are like dogs in the kennels of a dog fighting ring, barking at the sight of each other. Trained to compete and not giving each other an inch. You can imagine what it must have been like sharing one bedroom.

Then Astarion does his theatrical "Didn't you miss me?" Did they? Probably as much as Astarion pities them. A bit, because they've known each other for so long, but not enough to go out of their way. Just after saying he pities them, Astarion dreams about completing the ritual (which includes sacrificing them). Mostly I see the "Didn't you miss me" as Astarion wanting to make a confident first impression on them. Although it's too late, because his first instinct was to pull up his usual defences when interacting with his siblings: snapping at them.

And then Astarion actually gets physically aggressive and burns Petras. This is new. Petras didn't expect this. He says "What the hells happened to you, Astarion?" In combination with the other spawn scene when they call Astarion the runt, that never put up a fight, this paints a clear picture: Astarion has never been physically aggressive during his time with Cazador. Probably because he didn't have the means. He was simply too weak, being tortured more than any of the others. Petras talks about eating rats and dogs, Astarion got rats and bugs (he says that when talking about the bite with Tav). Also of course being broken into submission by being sealed into the tomb for the one time he didn't obey. (Worthy to mention that even then Astarion did not fight, he ran.)

Now that Astarion has some power for the first time, he uses it. And holy damn can I understand why he wants more. How good it must feel to be able to defend himself with more than words for the first time. This bit of power makes him say "I am not afraid of anything anymore."

It's enough for him to say "I am going to stop Cazador." A thing none of the spawn expects of him. Astarion would never rebel against the master. Cazador himself doesn't believe it until his last moment. They were all wrong about Astarion. Cazador indeed never broke him.

Also, pay attention to the leaning forward pose. Astarion does that on multiple occasions. It's his "my instinct screams to fight and defend myself"-pose.

(I am not entirely sure if "do not slouch before me" is also referring the same pose, or if it's more of an instinct to bow or cower. But that's for another day.)

#astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #astarion analysis #cazador #dalyria #pale petras

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vampiretendencies · 1 year

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wonder how i got by this week, i only touched you once

authors note; hi! this is my first but also not really my first jj piece. i had an old account here but i deleted it over a year ago, however my love for obx has not changed which explains why i am back lols. i am just testing the waters again here, and letting my thoughts go. i also proofread but sometimes not well enough so you may come across an error or two. gif and divider creds to owner. & feel free to send asks, guidelines for those are coming soon.

warnings; fluff, very clingy!jj, & language

summary; if jj could sow his skin to yours, he would.

pairing; jj maybank x fem!reader

an imprint.

you were sure that was all that was going to be left of you on that twin mattress. not that you were deemed in your last moments of life or anything, but because your boyfriend’s grasp on you in his sleep is not suitable for the weak. it should be described as something resembling a death grip. body tinging with restlessness & the mere moments of having laid here wide away for the past two hours. jj’s body heat radiating onto you at a battle with the sun, that is currently piercing through jj’s bedroom window at the chateau. who knew delirium would gather as quickly as it did, every time you peered toward the bathroom you swore it got three feet farther. hair plastered to the sides of your face, you huffed out of frustration.

jj was damn near on top of you. legs wrapped miraculously around yours, twisting and tangling themselves together. his black boxers riding low, as his waste lovingly crushed yours. the sleep weight of him, was like jj plus two. not to be dramatic but you were gasping for air at one point. his top half, guided by his bottom half. skin sticking to skin, whilst you glistened with sweat, jj somehow still had features like that of angel. well, pardoning the snoring. the abs of his stomach glided against your ribs, hanging onto you as if you’d be gone with one goodbye. the tips of his disheveled blonde locks tickled your temple. mouth slack open, roaring desperately into your ear.

what anyone would be thinking right now is, why not just fucking get up ?

two issues with that. the stickiness of your skin unattaching itself from his was sure to wake him up. anytime you made something even resembling a movement he found a way to force you close into him. and he would never let your hear the end of it, he’d make certain to whine and complain all day about “how you wouldn’t love him back” or some shit like that. he’s definitely more dramatic than you, however this was not cuddling. this was a bear hugging a tree and you were his tree to mangle and rip apart whenever he saw fit.

the other issue being, jj’s room has miscellaneous trash littering the entirety of it. in an instant, if your leg were to loom over the side of jj’s bed the crackling of a beer can or a water bottle was going to crush beneath your foot.

“fuck me,” you silently cursed yourself.

nearly approaching three pm, is what jj’s alarm clock read. you still to this day wonder why such an unproductive, procrastinating type person has the need for one, but that’s just jj.

you’d decided you couldn’t bear taking it anymore, combination of hot breath shelling your ear mixed with the stench of muggy air. you craved a shower, brushing your teeth, to piss for Christ’s sake, and your personalized skin care routine if you could muster up enough time to do so …

wriggling a tad, you pulled back the limp limb that is his arm which has been thrown over your neck for best part of his slumber. jj being a light sleeper, it was stupid of you to even attempt. within milliseconds his arm is thrown over your collar bone, whisping you into him once again. out of instinct a minuscule peck was placed to your ear lobe, his breaths interrupted by your movement. a faint grumble between his lips, signaling for you to keep your ass still.

but, you simply could not. you were going to get up, and you refused to feel horrid for it because jj has had well over his ‘must have’ eight hours of sleep.

“j,” you gulped. contemplating today’s reaction of the constant battle, you blink slowly awaiting his response.

a hm escaped jj’s lips, barely awake but staying awake because his girl never deserved to be ignored.

“let me up,” on the brink of a demand, his eyes opened fully at that, furrowing eyebrows out of frustration.

jj wanted you to save him until the both of you were buried alive. he hungered to be inside of your skin. the true depth of being his girlfriend, you already acknowledged those things. there’s no showering alone, there’s no eating alone, no going to the bathroom alone, you don’t remember the last time you did your own makeup alone. he knew that if he was going to be with someone it could not be just anyone, the dynamic had to work. he was aware of his neediness and constant clinging, you were as well, before you even begun dating you had the willingness to admit you always had a soft spot for jj. you weren’t sure if it was the empath in you and the sheerness of being a human being. he’d been abandoned and abused since he was young, you wouldn’t be the one to return the favor.

the both of you just work.

it makes sense that the passion and the ethereal ache for want has never left, loves you just the same as the day he met you in eighth grade.

bringing him to his now decision as to wether or not he wanted to actually let you up or to fuck with you.

“stay with me.”

he uttered; partially truthful, partially not. he despised the feeling of the empty bed settling in if you were to get up, though he’d known you were due for a piss right about now.

“i have to get up, m’all sweaty and you aren’t helping.”

your explanation was understandable, but he still wasn’t having it. an eternity encompassed in your affections was a dream, and living in that dream he would presume possible for as long as you’d allow him.

“suffer a few more minutes.”

“j, i’m serious.”

he edged a tight lipped smile, noticing the eye roll and glistening beauty of your forehead. eyes inspecting you as though it was the first time. your sports bra adorned just how he’d liked, chest rising and falling faster then usual, appearing as if you’d ran a mile and then some. something so sweet about the scent of your skin, he’d breathe in continuously saturating his senses in the symphony that is you.

“what’s a man gotta do for few more minutes hm?”

he’s atop you now, hands at either side of your head. towering over to make eye contact— a sign that you yearned for him as he did you.

staring up at him, a yes is on the tip of your tongue but you’ve sacrificed enough of your day dedicated to cuddling jj. shuffling his weight onto one hand his thumb dusted past your chin and to your cheek bone, trying to lull you back in all at once. tilting your head in a swift movement, he lowers himself itching to press your unearthly soft lips with his. you did not oblige, smashing a hand to his lips.

“you’re not getting a kiss.”

“then you aren’t getting up,” he chimed. “as easy as that, baby.”

“jj! i am hot, and i smell like ass, if you don’t let me up don’t expect a kiss at all.”

you bargained, unable to win this fight you’d be giving in within minutes.

“well, i for one, like hot ass .. your hot ass in particular.”

your throat ran dry, willing to just do it out of desperation for a shower. the feathered blonde of his hair wavered as his head turned about, with the click of his tongue murmuring a muffled tick tock against the back of your hand.

“one fucking kiss jj.”

you’d agreed, hand faintly falling backward as you embraced him. your lips pucker for a slight peck but jj had far more in mind. the peck tainted his lips, the peck was for hurries only. jj ruled this as a no hurry situation though to you it was past a hurry. when you pull away from the peck, jj writhes his hand around your neck gently. wrestling his pair of lips with yours, teeth pulling at your lip for entrance, and you didn’t find yourself pulling away. two tongues swiveling and swirling just the way jj liked. God, he just could not get enough of the way your tongue molded with his. besotted that they fit together just right.

you break the trance, not allowing jj to reel you back in again.

“gotta brush my teeth now, j.”

your voice somewhat pleaded, a small boyish pout forming. groaning and all the extras accompanying jj maybank.

“okay okay, i’ll give you a few.”

rolling off of you, he gave way for you to do all that you pleased. you grinned his way as he sent a toothy one back. you felt free, as you did all the times before you had to force jj off of you. you could move and you did so at a rapid pace, before the whining begun. kicking beer cans out of the way you seemed to take your first step to the bathroom but that is until the palm of jj’s hand collides with the bottom of your ass.

“hurry up, you sexy motherfucker!”

your cheeks tainted red at his outburst, all of the cut could’ve heard it. but you laugh with ease, at your attention seeking boyfriend.

“won’t be long okay?”

you offer him a hug, a show of infatuation; before you were officially off to the bathroom, with intentions of closing the door. he encapsulates you, swallowing you whole with his arms. he peppered multiple kisses to your forehead.

“don’t shower without me, pretty girl.”

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ferris-the-wheel · 2 months

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Posted 3/8/24

Fyodor Dostoevsky Relationship Headcanons

: ̗̀➛ Fyodor x gn!reader

A/N: This was pretty fun to make and I kinda wanna do this with more BSD characters. Who am I kidding- I'm totally doing this with other BSD characters.

: ̗̀➛ Not proofread, may be some mistakes.

TW: Semi-controlling behavior (but not super overbearing???)

⁂ Pretty much no one knows you exist, not even anyone in the Decay of Angels.

⁂ That's because he doesn't want to risk you getting taken hostage or killed by his enemies (which he has a lot of, obviously). He also doesn't trust the DOA members not to try to use you to get the upper hand against him.

⁂ You're one of his two weaknesses and he doesn't want anyone to exploit that fact.

⁂ One of his plans for preventing anyone from finding out about you is that he would buy a comfortable house for you to live in in a less populated area outside of the city, but you declined. You insisted that since no one even knew that you were connected to each other, you could live in the city.

⁂ He reluctantly agreed but made sure to install a bunch of security cameras to the place you were living at in the city, as well as teaching you how to use a variety of types of guns.

⁂ Whenever he's just sitting around (usually while his plans are unfolding and causing chaos), he'll just be eager to get back home to you. He would also plan out the whole evening in his head, knowing how it would go before it was even past noon.

⁂ While normally, the only side of himself that he let's people see is that he's soulless and doesn't care about anything. However, you know that this isn't exactly the case. While yes, he does act like that, he shows a different side, only around you.

⁂ He still has a certain coldness to him (personality wise as well as being ice cold to the touch lol), but he's nicer toward you than he is to anyone else. Of course, that's not to say that he's a complete angel. He's very protective of you if you couldn't tell so he tends to ask where you're going when you go out and may follow you to make sure that you're safe.

⁂ He can be a bit of a control freak, but that's kind of something that you have to put up with. For example, if he wants something from you, such as a kiss, he will do pretty much anything to get it (in cases where you don't want to or aren't in the mood). He would be a bit manipulative/deceptive with his methods, but nothing like downright abusive or anything. He tries to dial it down when something really bothers you, though.

⁂ He can be... just a bit jealous (let's be real, he can be pretty damn jealous). He doesn't see why you waste your attention on other less competent, boring people, but he doesn't force you not to hang out with anyone.

⁂ He does let you have friends and connections, he just warns you not to tell them about him. He does very extensive background checks on the people you hang out with, just to make sure they aren't governments agents or members of the Port Mafia. Yeah, no one knows that you and Fyodor are connected at all, but he's just covering all his bases.

⁂ If someone tries to hit on you or anything like that, good luck to them. Fyodor would probably find out immediately and either one of two scenarios would occur:

1. He would ask that you not hang out with said person anymore and would convince you to completely cut that person out of your life.

Or the more dramatic option.....

2. He would simply make that person disappear. It would just happen. Of course, he had nothing to do with their disappearance. Feel free to interpret that how you will.

⁂ Sometimes he'll offer to let you have his ushanka for a while since he likes seeing you wear it. In fact, it soon became a routine: when he came home, he'd take off his coat and hang it up, then he'd locate you and place the ushanka on your head. He didn't always give it up easily though. He'd sometimes demand something in return.

⁂ When Fyodor wants to relax, he'll lay his head down in your lap and have you mess around with his hair. It doesn't matter if you're just mussing it up or if you're just combing it, he loves the feeling of your fingers running through his hair.

BSD taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @l7k-a @lyle-my-beloved @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @mermaidfanficlibrary

Reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♥︎

#fyodor dostoevsky bsd #fyodor x reader #fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor dostoevsky bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #gn!reader

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pink-apollo · 2 years

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Task force with S/O that have big breast please?

AHHHH. I saw this and got sooo excited😭 As a gal that has double Ds it can be such a pain. Buttons busting open, shirts tight in certain areas, just a struggle ;-; but they make wonderful pillows!

Wasn’t sure who you wanted so I added my main 3. If you want price and gaz let me know ^^ Also I am so sorry if Simon is very ooc, I’m trying to go with his current self and exactly pin point it which I find to be a little difficult😅

——————————————————————————

Task force with large chested S/O Headcanons

🎀Soap is a cheeky guy, we all know this. Of course he loves you for you! Not just looks! But at times he can’t but to just…stare. He knows it can be rude and weird, but when they’re right there in his face he can’t help it

🎀You could be mid conversation, babbling away at something you were talking about and John would be sitting there eyeing you up, tuning out what you were saying only to be met with your chest in his face as you looked at the man red from getting caught

🎀He means well, honest! But will try every chance he gets to grab them or lay on your chest because of how comfortable it is. A “perfect pillow” as he would say

🎀Purposely buys shirts that are rather a bit too tight for you. Although you may think it doesn’t look good, soap on the other hand is taking mental pictures to remember how you fit into the shirt

🎀Loves to feel you pressed up against him. Yes for the contact because he does enjoy it! But to also feel all of you and be a little more intimate

🎀In general loves to hold them. His thumb gentle rubbing your nipples to piss you off or to tease depending on the mood. But for the most part holds them, massaging them as he leans on your back , leaving trails of kisses along your shoulder to neck

🎀Is basically a child in a candy store

Ghost

🍁Simon is…well let’s say more sneaky than soap is when it comes to taking peaks. No, he doesn’t do it often, but if you just so happen to wear a shirt that fits just right and shows a bit of cleavage? He can’t help himself but to look, especially if he’s taller than you

🍁Although he does enjoy them, he’s more so focused on your other needs. Like if your back hurts or in general breasts are achey to to your hormones. He doesn’t mind whatsoever focusing on making you feel better before anything else happens. Your comfort comes first

🍁Notices every little detail when you move. Purposely walks behind or in front of you so he doesn’t glance down to see you walking with your chest slightly bouncing. Steps? Won’t say anything, but are his weakness when it comes to you. Thank god for the mask

🍁If you ask him to hold them he will. Might be a little unsure of how exactly to please you, again when it comes to physical things, Simon needs a little bit of guidance! He just wants to do right and to be sure you’re okay. But oddly enough finds it to be a stress reliever for himself

🍁Is very gentle with them in the beginning. Gives kisses all over before nibbling and leaving marks all over your chest. Caressing them with his hands, ever so softly pinching them to hear you sweak

🌹When it comes to you? This man looses all train of thought. With every step you take towards him, he can’t help but to look down. You know it’s his weakness and sometimes use it to your advantage, but other times simply oblivious to the fact that he was staring

🌹Alejandro tries his best to a gentleman, but can’t help but to glide his hands over your chest when alone sitting on his lap, squeezing them from pent up sexual tension that you caused

🌹Of course he always asks for permission regardless of how long you’ve been together. He just needs to know what kind of mood your in before he does

🌹Certainly loves when you straddle him and just hold him or perhaps ride him. Not only an amazing sight, but just being close to you is one of his many favorite things

🌹Lays on your chest very often! Just so squishy and comfortable to lay on! Has fallen asleep quite a few times on your chest, with his hand up your shirt on your breast. Could lay like that forever if you allowed him to do so

#headcanons #mw2 #modern warfare2 #Simon ghost Riley x reader #John soap mactavish x reader #Alejandro Vargas x reader #Simon Riley headcanons #John soap mactavish headcanons #Alejandro Vargas headcanons #x reader #modern warfare

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fiber-optic-alligator · 4 months

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Desperation vs. Domestication

Pairing: IDW Drift x Human Reader

WARNING: This story contains soft vore. If this makes you uncomfortable, please do not read this story.

Word Count: 3161

Summary: Trapped aboard the Lost Light and chosen by a certain red-and-white samurai mech as the perfect sapien companion and tasty snack, you decide to form a rudimentary plan on possibly escaping your robot captors and finding your way back to Earth…while also realizing that spending months living as a pet has messed with your judgment on a greater scale than you previously realized.

This is based off of an ask I saw on Relic’s blog about what might happen if a human trapped aboard the Lost Light tried to escape via an escape pod, and I liked the idea so much that I had to write something based off of it. This is my first time writing for the Tasty Au and the First Contact Au and I must say I am quite happy with the result. This is inspired by Callsign-Relic’s Tasty Au, obviously, and I am so utterly fascinated with the whole concept, as well with First Contact scenarios in general, that this certainly won’t be my last time writing about this sort of thing. Thank you all for reading and thank you to @callsign-relic for giving me permission to write about it!

Also available to read on AO3!

Here is the link to pt. 2!

Sticky globs of synthetic saliva coat your shivering body as you are carefully slipped out of the massive mech’s cerulean mouth. The red-and-white bot nuzzles you gently with his nose, cooing to you in soft alien words. You don’t understand his language; to your ears, he speaks with the purr of a car engine, the rumble of machinery, the smooth hum of something distinctively much, much bigger than you. And yet, after months of being trapped aboard this titanic starship, surrounded by these massive extraterrestrial robots that have turned your life upside down, you’ve come to comprehend some simple, short phrases your mech typically only says to you: Good. Proud. Love you.

You hate how you lean into his touch. You hate how you cling to these few words you can translate. You hate how your heart softens for him as he sets you down on his desk and begins to clean you up, rubbing his saliva off of you with a towel. You protest softly when he smushes you gently with both hands, struggling feebly before you reluctantly give up and go still. He chuckles deeply and shushes you. “Shhh, shhh….Safe…Safe.”

After a few minutes, he nods to himself, satisfied with his work. You stare at him with the deadpan look of a cat who was just dumped into a bathtub while he retrieves a fuzzy blanket from his bed and wraps you up in it snugly. The part of you that still clings to your autonomy wants to scream and shove his fingers away when he slowly rubs your scalp. It wants to curse him out and tell him you despise him, how you are traumatized because of him and the rest of his kind.

And yet, you can’t.

You know he won’t understand you. You know you’ve developed feelings for him in your weak, pathetic heart. Your bot cares for you. It is obvious in the way he treats you, and you can tell it’s gone beyond seeing you as a pet. He calls you sweet. Little one. He’s never hit you, never yelled at you, and actually respects your boundaries when you express them…sometimes. There are some days where you have clearly shown you don’t want to be eaten. He listens. Those days are few, but they happen regardless. You can’t help but sympathize with him. Call it Stockholm Syndrome, call it delusion, but you are at war with yourself, one side begging you to resist, the other side wishing to submit and accept the role you have been forced into.

Your mech scoops you up. For a good minute, he simply holds you, purring deeply while he traces circles against your back with his thumb. It feels good, and you hate that it does. His heavy rumbles are soothing. Despite what one might think, being eaten, massaged by a mechanical stomach for hours, and then regurgitated is an exhausting experience to go through. You find fatigue tugging at the back of your mind while your eyes flutter shut and you yawn.

The mech coos. “Sleep,” he whispers to you, his voice smooth as honey. “Sleep.”

If this were your first time, you would have fought it. But it’s not your first time, and you know resisting will get you nowhere closer to escaping. Darkness pulls you into its embrace with the glow of his eyes flickering in the background until it too fades away. It doesn’t take long for you to give in.

His name is Drift. That’s the first thing you think when you wake up. His name is Drift, and he saved you from the first set of robots that plucked you from your home and carried you off into space, saving you from one personal hell and thrusting you into another. It did not matter if this particular hell was a rather comfortable one. It was hell regardless. To have your sense of self snatched away from you, to be reduced to nothing more than a pet and a snack, to know you are possibly light years away from Earth and you are utterly alone here is enough to drive you insane.

You sit up slowly and groan, running a hand through your tousled hair. You're still wrapped up in the blanket Drift gave you, and you're resting on his berth. It’s covered with more blankets and even pillows, all courtesy of the mech who has done what he can to make your life here as comfortable as possible. The lights are dimmed. Drift is nowhere to be seen. He must have had some other matters to attend to and decided to give you a moment of solitude while you were resting. It was considerate of him. The sympathetic side of you feels appreciation. All that’s left is relief he is not here to stuff you back into his maw.

Drift does not understand you. In his eyes, you are simply an adorable little creature he has adopted. He cannot speak your language, and you cannot speak his. No level of displaying your intelligence will ever prove to him that you are worthy of being considered a true person by him or the other mechs. Oh, he cares. You know he does. He’s not a bad guy. You’ve seen bad, and he’s a welcome change from it. But he will never view you as an equal. You are simply just an animal in his mind’s eye.

Your fists clench with subdued rage without you even realizing it at first. The frustration bubbles up and leaves a foul taste on your tongue. You’ve screamed. You’ve begged. You’ve done everything you can to show them that you do not belong here. But they don’t listen. He doesn't listen. You're too cute, too tasty. For the first time in your life, you truly wish you had it in you to be a violent person and live up to the horrible reputation humans have given themselves on their own planet. Maybe if you had the power to destroy like the rest of your kind can, the mechs would finally learn to respect you. But human beings only destroy what is theirs. And here? Not even you belong to yourself anymore.

“Damnit,” you whisper under your breath. You haven’t felt this level of helplessness in a long time. Your chest tightens, and hot tears trickle down your cheeks and drip off your chin. You close your eyes and grit your teeth as a low sob heaves up from your throat.

“I want to go home,” you say to no one in particular. There’s no one to hear you. Even the gods of your world are too far away to listen to your prayers. “Please. Please. I want to go home. I just want to go home.”

So why don’t you?

Your eyes fly open.

Wait.

There are escape pods on this ship.

You’ve only seen them once. Drift usually keeps you perched on his shoulder when he travels around the ship and tends to his duties. He’s walked by them before. They’re towards the middle of the vessel, all lined up in single file.

What if you were to steal one?

A plan begins forming in your mind. It’s stupid. It’s risky. It could cost you your life. But you're so scared, and you’ll do anything to relieve that fear. You could return to Earth…you could go home.

You look around Drift’s room, taking in how absolutely massive everything is compared to you. The escape pods will be the same. One single little human will have a hard time piloting it. But what other choice do you have? Sit here and live the rest of your life as a pet?

A part of you actually finds it tempting. But you can’t let that side of you win. You cannot allow yourself to slip into the stupor that is slowly breaking your spirit. You must keep fighting. You must take back what was stolen from you: your life.

Drift is not a stifling owner. He does not demand your attention 24/7. He understands you need your space, and usually, if you protest enough, he will simply coo at you understandingly and leave you in his room for a few hours while he leaves.

You come up with a plan. It’s not a particularly stable one, and there are way too many points where it could go horribly wrong. But you will go through with it anyway, because you don't know how much longer you can take this. You're desperate for release, frantic for an escape from this nightmare reality you are in. You will find a way back home. You can’t give up. You refuse to give up. You are a human being. You belong on Earth.

As much as your plan relies on Drift leaving you alone, it also depends on his presence too. It’s impossible to traverse this starship by yourself. To be seen without your mech companion would lead to some robotic stranger scooping you up and bringing you right back to square one.

So, you will have to trick Drift.

You will use the advantage of your harmless appearance and have him bring you to the escape pods. You could blast away right under his nose and he won’t even know it because his belief that you are just an innocent, adorable little thing who can barely think for yourself is just too strong.

Guilt flashes through you.

He has no way of understanding, a tiny voice whispers inside your mind. It’s not his fault there’s a language barrier between the two of you. He’s trying his best. He’s trying. Can’t you appreciate that?

He views me as a pet, you think back. He thinks I’m an animal. A snack. Is abandoning my will as a human being worth it if it means I please him?

Yes.

The realization makes your heart sink.

Are you really that far gone? Have you become that accustomed to your life here? Have…have you truly been broken in?

The soft whoosh of the room door opening interrupts your thoughts. Drift slips in on silent feet; you still don’t know how such a large mechanical creature can move so quietly. He doesn’t look at you, and instead trudges to the mirror attached to the wall opposite his berth with his shoulders slumped and his head hanging low. Through the reflection of the mirror, you can see him staring at himself with a complicated expression. His mouth tightens and his hand rises to slowly begin tracing the metal beneath his eyes. You watch, with growing concern, as he just…looks. He’s observing his features, taking in every scar, every dent in his armor, every sign of age.

He vents out a soft exhale. With a surprising amount of weariness, he takes his swords and places them on their display stand.

“Drift?” you call out to him.

He turns to focus on you. His eyes immediately soften, and his grimace uplifts into a tired smile.

He looks so much older than he really is.

Your heart twists painfully. All of your previous foul thoughts towards him vanish as your empathy takes over and you raise your arms to make grabby hands at him. This is a language anyone can understand: Pick me up please?

He wastes no time in obliging. Swords and reflection forgotten, he makes it to you in four long strides. Gentle fingers push the blanket aside and free you from your fabric burrito. They curl around you, holding you in his right palm while he slowly lifts you up and slips his left hand under to support you. You no longer feel the queasy flip of your stomach turning circles from the dizzying experience of watching the floor grow further and further away. That reaction was long lost with your time here.

He presses you to his chest. The metal is warm, and deep within, you can feel the steady beat of his heart. It thrums through your entire body and causes you to shudder with awe. This is an alien being, one you hardly understand. Yet, he has a heartbeat. It connects the two of you, in a way. As your heart begins to beat in tandem with his, you feel so small. Yet…it helps you feel for him all the more, because it proves he is alive.

After a few minutes of hugging you, Drift lifts you higher. The soft blue glow of his eyes washes over you as the mech observes your tiny face. There’s a moment when he pauses, and then his thumb caresses your cheek, lightly running over the stains decorating your skin from your previous bout of tears. His smile falls into a concerned frown.

“Little one?” he whispers. He knows what tears are. You’ve heard him cry himself to sleep some nights. So he must understand you are not in a particularly good headspace right now.

“Drift,” you whisper back. He whines when he hears how your voice trembles. With great sadness weighing his expression down, he brings you close and presses his lips gently to your forehead.

You automatically freeze, and your eyes widen in shock as you feel the slightly plush metal against your skin. It’s so…intimate. All too quickly, you melt into the embrace, closing your eyes as a fresh wave of emotion washes over you and threatens to unleash the waterworks again. You sniffle and cling to him. “I hate that I’m enjoying this,” you quietly say.

He hums in response and slowly pulls away. The smile he offers you is so sweet, it makes your heart skip. You feel like a foolish schoolgirl in love. It’s the wrong emotion for the wrong person in the most wrong scenario you could ever imagine, but it feels so right.

He leans back in, and you think you are going to receive another kiss. But then his mouth opens wider and you have a full display of the squishy segmented tongue that’s shifting in eager anticipation for the taste it desires: you. Strings of saliva connect between metal teeth as large as your head. Inside, there’s light that softly pulses with the same color as his eyes, and it runs all the way down into his throat, illuminating the journey you know you are about to take. Fear jumps through you. “Drift,” you say, pushing frantically at his fingers. “Drift, wait!”

“Shhhh,” he murmurs. There are some incomprehensible words that, to your ears, sound like the garbled slurs of a broken radio. Your mind works overtime to comprehend. “Little one…safe…comfort…”

Oh.

He wants to comfort you.

You feel absolutely disgusted with yourself when you bite your bottom lip and contemplate his request.

Unfortunately, Drift doesn’t give you a chance to decide whether to accept or not. Apparently, your tears are really worrying him. With one last reassuring purr, he delicately pushes you into his mouth. You yelp when his tongue curls around your little body to begin slicking you up for a smoother ride. Drift rolls you around carefully, tasting every inch of your exposed skin with happy hums of pure pleasure.

You want to fight off the large muscle and demand he open his mouth to release you. However, you know there is no point. He’s not listening to you today. He believes this is the only way to bring you the reprieve you need. So, you give in. You go limp and allow your mech to toy with you.

He presses you to the roof of his mouth and suckles gently. A low moan rumbles up from within him. You are delicious. You know you are delicious. The way he savors you both terrifies you on a raw, existential level, and also makes you feel…wanted, in a way. He wants you. He cares about you. This is just another way of him showing it.

Eventually, his tongue lowers, and everything goes tipsy as Drift tilts his head and begins to push you towards the back of his throat. You instinctively scrabble at the base of the biomechanical muscle, but you cannot stop yourself from sliding back. When you look behind you and see the pulsing metal waiting to slurp you down into its dark, wet confines, you want to scream.

“Glk.”

One gulp.

That’s all it took for Drift to swallow you.

It is extremely unnerving to be reminded of how small you are.

You are sucked into Drift’s throat with no resistance. The glow of his mouth sticks with you while you are squeezed downward from all sides by the soft, moist walls of his esophagus. You wriggle as much as you can, but it is virtually impossible to move due to how tight the passage is. You find yourself holding your breath as you close your eyes and try to remain calm while you listen to the steady sounds of his internal systems working to keep him alive: the heavy thudding of his heart. A rhythmic intake and outtake of air that is eerily reminiscent of human breathing. There are other low whirrs and hums you cannot identify as well. All consuming. All just for you to hear.

Space opens up beneath you, and you drop into his stomach with a wet plop. The organ gurgles, welcoming you back like an old friend. You bounce a little as the floor jiggles, then you find yourself sinking into the mesh metal. The walls close in, squeezing you, kneading at you, all while a melody of rumbles and groans fill the space. You pant, taking a moment to catch your breath as you lay on your back and stare up at the soft biolights all around you, filling the stomach with a comforting hue.

Something presses against you from the outside: Drift’s hand. Above you, the mech says something. His voice is soft, yet loud at the same time. You are utterly, completely surrounded by him. Locked away behind all of this metal, you truly feel like you are his.

For some reason, this is not as scary as it usually is.

You sit up and try to wipe saliva off of your face, but only succeed in smearing it all over you even more. Drift speaks again. “Little one?” His tone is urgent, worried. The stomach growls with nervous trepidation.

You crawl on your hands and knees to the organ’s wall. Sitting up, you press your hand into the wet muscle, watching as your fingers sink into the squishy grooves. “I’m okay, Drift,” you murmur. “I’m okay.”

You feel him relax all around you. Drift presses his hand right over where yours is and rubs you tenderly. You cuddle up against him and close your eyes, listening to your mech’s happy purrs, enjoying the feeling of being constantly massaged by his stomach.

It is warm.

You are warm.

You no longer want to cry.

Maybe…maybe you can put off your escape plan. Just for a little longer.

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silvergreenseraphim · 6 months

Text

Angeal and Sephiroth (And Genesis?)—Dissidia Opera Omnia—Part Two

Hi there hello, I am terribly sorry for the wait, friends! I was pretty sick for the past week or so, but have recovered now! On that note, let’s dive in!

—

Angeal must come to terms with Sephiroth’s transformation.

We begin with Cloud meeting with Angeal after the group decided to take on Sephiroth. Cloud asks Angeal,

“Are you okay? I know I explained everything all at once…”

Angeal says,

“You mean about Sephiroth? It’s just…even though I saw it with my own eyes…it’s hard to accept when told the truth/facts. I’m sorry for slipping/showing weakness…just listen—“

Cloud stops him and says that he doesn’t mind being the one to tell Angeal everything that happened. Angeal also doesn’t need to worry about being stoic in front of someone that isn’t his direct student/cadet like Zack was.

Cloud then explains that he had become a soldier because he admired heroes like Sephiroth, though in truth, there were no heroes in the end because of Sephiroth’s transformation.

Angeal notes the following,

“Huh, just like my close childhood friend (Genesis) and Zack….all the kids my age looked up to him then, so that’s why I always thought I’d treat him like a human being…”

Edit: Small translation mistake I may have made, but initially I thought Angeal said that, “He did not want to change his own attitude/way of being” in regards to how he treated Sephiroth. However, it seems my pronouns were misplaced, and Angeal is talking about Sephiroth. He says that he wants to change Sephiroth’s attitude, as in, he wants to turn Sephiroth’s heart back to the way it was.

Cloud says that he himself can’t forgive Sephiroth, but he can’t deny Angeal’s feelings on the matter, and that he understands because of receiving certain thoughts and emotions for the old friends through Zack. Cloud also graciously tells Angeal to not worry telling Zack about how much he is struggling. Cloud will cover for him, and Angeal is grateful.

Cloud then leaves Angeal, who stands and contemplates Sephiroth once again…he thinks to himself,

“Sephiroth…did you come to know of your birth? I had Genesis at that time…but you…”

Sephiroth himself suddenly appears from a portal and begins to battle Angeal. They cross swords in the manner they once did in the training room, which shocks Angeal. He realizes Sephiroth’s fighting style hasn’t changed despite so much time passing, and wonders if they are sharing the same memory.

When they separate, Angeal appeals to Sephiroth’s honor by saying,

“Sephiroth! You surely had your pride and honor as a First….and we’ve both done horrible things, so let’s bear this despair together!”

The fight continues and the others rush to help Angeal. He is still calling to Sephiroth, saying,

“Sephiroth, what is the point in destroying this world? What would be in that for you?? If this is Jenova stealing who you are, then I’ll bring you back!!”

But Sephiroth merely laughs and says,

“I already have your answer. If it’s “me” that is here, then that means I chose it. I didn’t choose you, Angeal. All I need is Cloud. I don’t need you.”

This was a loaded statement, but in summary, Sephiroth is saying that he chose to do what he is doing, where he is appearing, etc..

His will is seemingly one with Jenova’s in this story, and furthermore, he only needs Cloud in order to be rooted to the world.

This calls back to the notion of “As long as Cloud remembers Sephiroth, Sephiroth will exist.”

Cloud and Cloud’s memories are Sephiroth’s link to existence.

He doesn’t “need Angeal” because Angeal is one of Sephiroth’s “inconsequential memories” that he cast into the Lifestream…

The next part is hard to translate, but Zack essentially tells Angeal that the person they are facing is simply not Sephiroth anymore, and is merely wearing his face, in a way. Rufus fully believes that it is Jenova, and that they are the same.

Cloud readies himself to fight and declares that Sephiroth will be stopped, who responds with a taunt like, “Come and try!”

Meanwhile, Angeal is in disbelief. He says,

“Sephiroth…are you….really nowhere (in there)? Did you truly abandon your pride as a human and embrace this power…?”

After the boss fight that takes place here, Sephiroth struggles to hold his ground and angrily declares,

“I’m not going down…”

The group responds with a power-charged Cloud, who receives an energy crystal boost from Rufus.

With his buffed sword, Cloud prepares to end the weakened Sephiroth. He strikes and a bright burst of energy surges forward, but Angeal’s heart gets the better of him.

Angeal rushes forward and jumps in front of Sephiroth, taking the hit for his old friend and falling to the ground in pain.

The others are petrified and Zack runs to Angeal, screaming that,

“Angeal!! It’s not Sephiroth! You know it’s not him!”

Angeal says,

“I know…I understand…Indeed, his form/body may be Jenova’s but his heart and will might still remain…”

With this, Angeal stands and turns to Sephiroth, finally getting his deep regrets out. He says,

“We were the same…and I’m sorry for letting you suffer alone…”

But Sephiroth has no memory of this pain and his old friend. He says he “doesn’t know this unpleasant sight” in reference to Angeal and tries to attack again, but Zack fights him off, saying,

“Sephiroth! I know my words won’t reach you…but listen to Angeal’s calls…don’t leave that to the monster!”

Sephiroth merely brushes Zack off with one of his “puppets and traitors” accusations and vanishes, but before his voice fades entirely….he says,

“You see, Angeal….dreams and honor were fleeting/not enough…”

Angeal gasps in realization and says,

“Sephiroth….so it’s true…”

Sephiroth’s real voice seems to slip through—the angry, hateful part of him that threw away his memories and aligned his will with Jenova’s. The part that rejected mankind willingly and grew cold with fury.

Angeal understands that his old friend’s pride as a human was lost and the Sephiroth he once knew is dead. All that remains is the monster.

Side Notes:

I am working on the third part to cover the third act. So far, it has been denial for Angeal and in this chapter he reached a small form of acceptance at the bitter end. Now he must prepare to fight his friend and say goodbye.

My translations may once again require some edits later, but for now a lot of contextual information has helped them make sense, even if getting them to translate perfectly has been difficult.

Angeal finally is confirmed to be the one that likely influenced Zack to treat Sephiroth as a person, another human, instead of a hero only to be admired. Angeal doesn’t want to abandon this, and clearly Zack tends to feel the same way. Angeal never idolized Sephiroth, but merely saw him as his good friend. Zack followed this example.

Sephiroth doesn’t remember Angeal, or is at least actively suppressing the memories while he tries to eliminate him. However, his agitation is evident, as he cannot fully erase his emotional state. Part of the hatred that keeps his own will alive likely includes anger and feelings of rejection in regards to his old friends. This emotion seems to bleed through his words, whether he realizes it or not.

Angeal would have taken a bullet for Sephiroth. Now we know. This broke my heart. He could have died by absorbing that energy burst from Cloud, but he threw himself in front of his friend anyway, even despite knowing that Sephiroth was not the same. Angeal loved him so much, and his line, “We were the same…I’m sorry for letting you suffer alone” was utterly weighted with regret and pain. These poor boys are killing me 😢😢

I’ll see you guys next time!

#dissidia opera omnia #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #japanese translation #ffvii #crisis core #angeal hewley #sephiroth #zack fair #cloud strife #rufus shinra #genesis rhapsodos #jenova #final fantasy vii

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lostcauses-noregrets · 2 months

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Lost, I think Erwin was only in 65% of the manga/anime, yet I don't think anyone has ever left such a long-lasting impression on the audience. He ranks higher than the mc in the character polls, and he even once ranked higher than Levi. People still love and praise him even though he's been dead for years. Why do you think this is? What makes him such a compelling character?

I’ve been sitting on this ask for months because it feels like such a huge responsibility to answer it. What is it that makes Erwin Smith such a compelling and enduringly popular character, despite having been written out of the story years ago?

The most obvious reason is that Erwin is a well written character with considerable depth. He is a brave and inspiring military commander who leads from the front and dies heroically, laying down his life to ensure the main characters live to fight another day. He plays a pivotal role in the story and, long after he dies, continues to be a motivating force for several other characters. He’s also pretty easy on the eye, which does no harm either.

However characters like this are ten a penny in manga and anime so I don’t think this is enough to explain Erwin’s enduring appeal. There’s a very interesting interview with Isayama from 2016 where he talks about coming to understand Erwin’s character, which I think gets to the heart of the matter.

“...for Erwin, there’s no person I can easily compare him to…The main reason for that is probably because I didn’t have anyone in my life who was an “insightful leader” like my initial portrayal of Erwin. Of course, I’m sure there were people who were “insightful leaders” to a certain degree around me, but—and this is likely due to a quirk of my own personality—the grander a person, the more my eyes are drawn to the places where they’re frayed, or are coming apart at the seams. Armin once said of him, “If a person existed who was capable of bringing change, they would have to be able to sacrifice things that are important to them.” Erwin is certainly someone who can do that, but because I had no one in reality to model him on, and because I, the creator, had no shred of an “insightful leader” within myself to use either, I think I ended up making Erwin more and more human as I went along. Lately, though, I’ve started enjoying drawing Erwin. To put it simply, I think it’s because I am now able to write Erwin not as the “insightful leader,” but as he is inside my heart, an Erwin who is very complex inside."

And Erwin is a very complex and conflicted character. He’s also a deeply unreliable narrator who sees his own actions in the very worst possible light. He has the ability to motivate others to great feats of heroism, but at the same time he sees himself as a fraud and a conman. He carries a huge burden of guilt over his father’s death, yet he isn’t driven by vengeance, what drives him forward is the pursuit of knowledge and his desire to prove his father’s theories were right. He is a ruthless commander, willing to sacrifice countless soldiers to achieve his goal, but he also devised a Scouting formation that saved numerous lives. He is also quite literally haunted by all the men and women who died under his command. He’s incredibly insightful and intelligent, always thinking several steps ahead of everyone else, but he isn’t invulnerable to being manipulated by unscrupulous characters like Zackley, who was able to spot his weakness. He believes that he alone is pursuing his own selfish dream, despite all the characters having their own dreams and motivations. Yet despite his misgivings, he is able to set aside his dream, and lay down his life for the greater goal of saving humanity. He presents an implacable facade to the world, yet he privately admits to wishing he could end his life. So many deeply human contradictions.

Although Erwin is a hugely compelling character in his own right, I don’t think we can overlook the importance of his relationship with Levi, who of course is the most popular character in the series (sorry Eren). Regardless of whether you ship them or not , it’s impossible to ignore the importance of Erwin’s relationship with Levi (and vice versa). I’ve written reams over the years about Erwin and Levi’s relationship, which I’m not going to repeat here, but I am going to point the famous quote from Ono Diasuke who described Levi as the last stronghold of Erwin’s humanity, because that’s what is really important.

Ultimately Erwin is a complex, contradictory human being and it’s his humanity, rather than his heroism, and the emotional conflict at the heart of his character that continue to fascinates and move people.

#asks #erwin smith #erwin meta #snk

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celticcrossanon · 2 months

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Hello Celta, it may sound a mean and an unpopular opinion. But I’m wondering if Charles is using his cancer diagnosis to push for certain outcomes he’s desired all along.

Firstly, it’s been discussed and you’ve seen in your cards that Charles wanted Camilla to co-rule with him, and he was not able to make it happen at the coronation. Now with his cancer diagnosis he seems to be pushing Camilla to “lead” the family. Witness yesterday’s service which looked like a huge PR disaster where Andrew and Sarah came out ahead of everyone else. It’s not a good look, I doubt Charles was aiming for that outcome (more on that below). Next up, there’s a rumour or it’s been announced that Camilla will be leading The Commonwealth Service in March. If that’s true, he’s putting Camilla ahead of the heir, his own son. Very Game of Thrones. Then there’s all this PR is about Camilla saving the monarchy. He seems to be deliberately pushing for Camilla to stand in for him through all this, while William is right there. And then his press will turn around and say, William is unwilling or reluctant or flat out doesn’t want to step up. It’s Machiavellian.

Secondly, I believe Charles was hoping for the money shot of William walking slightly ahead of Andrew out of the service yesterday. It seems that’s what he was hoping for. So that when the talk of Harry coming back ramps up again, as it will inevitably, he could through his PR turn around and say, hey, you’ve no trouble accepting Andrew back, look at these photos of you and him together, why not Harry? We saw the photos of the Wales in the car with Andrew, dint you think he’s capable of manipulating further opportunities? He’ll say Don’t you now I’m sick with cancer? Why can’t you make my last remaining years peaceful by giving me what I want? Namely my snake of a son, with or without his snake wife, at my side with my dying breath?

Thirdly, he’s using his cancer for positive PR, he’s enjoying the bump up in popularity since his diagnosis and wats it to continue. All those photos of him reading get well cards, and getting tearful about it. It makes him a sympathetic figure and he’s milking it. It’s despicable and low down. Him greeting the PM Sunack and saying oh all these cards and letters, awwww they bring me to tears. Can you ever imagine a sovereign such as HTMQ making such a statement to a politician??? I know she’s from a different generation, but my goodness. Our late queen had a dignity no one can deny. She bore her trails with such stoicism, and reserved her tears for when she was alone or with family. It’s makes me so angry to see him portray himself weak and vulnerable simply for the despicable way he treated Diana. Where was his empathy and thoughtfulness when he was dealing with a much younger wife and mother? He was busy plotting and planning with Camilla to show this side to Diana. Seems he only reserves the right to feel sorry for himself and no one else. Instead of me seeing him as sympathetic, I see cunning and manipulation. What a manipulative a-hole.

Wow that took a turn I did not expect, but while I’m sorry he’s got a disease he’s dealing with, he should not be using it to further denigrate his heir, and manipulate others into giving him what he truly wants. I fear that’s what Charles is doing.

Hi Anonymous Retired,

I am posting this before it vanishes on me again and I will come back and edit with my reply.

I would not put it past the King to use his cancer diagnosis to further his own agendas, unfortunately. I don't like saying that but after my past two readings I would not put anything past him.

I can see the King using this to push the Queen into a role that is fitting for a co-ruler and not a Queen Consort (which is the same role that Prince Philip occupied as Prince Consort). What complicates it for me is that while Prince William is right there, he is also dealing with his wife recovering from surgery and having to be there for his three young children. So yes, I can see the pushing of Camilla, but I am also grateful for it in a way as it frees up Prince William to be with his family more than if he was standing in for the King. The crunch will come when Princess Catherine is recovered and Prince William is back to full time royal duties. If the King is still unwell as this stage, as I expect he will be, then the proper thing to do would be for the Queen Consort to take a step backwards and the The Prince of Wales to step in for The King. I can't see that happening, but I could be surprised.

You were spot on about the money shot, as per my reading of today. I also believe that King Charles would use emotional manipulation like you suggest, as we have seen him do it before. This time, I think that William will stand up to him and say No, which will be hard to do but very much worth it in the end.

I think that so far the King remarking on the cards and showing the video of himself reading them has been nice. Those are the only two pieces of PR I have seen. If I see more, or if the illness card is played in articles for sympathy, then I will absolutely think he is suing his diagnosis for good PR. As you said, I think the King reserves his sympathy for himself and perhaps for people that he currently likes (I could be wrong about this). He certainly is not showing the dignity that was such a characteristic of Her Late Majesty, in my opinion anyway. It could just be that he doesn't want to be as stoic as his mother, or that he is trying to show his appreciation, or something. I am more than usually annoyed at him at the moment so I'm not the best person to ask. :)

The King should not be using his disease as a manipulation tactic, I agree. Unfortunately, people do it all the time, from the sick child asking for extra ice cream 'because they are sick' upwards. All you can do is recognise it and do your best not to let it influence your judgement of the matter. It is unbecoming of the monarch to behave in such a manner (and I am still undecided as to whether he is doing this consciously or not), but if he decides to act like that people will see through it eventually and then he will face the consequences.

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jinkiezzsstuff · 2 months

Text

Written & Writing :)

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Because I’ve got a couple things drafted, n i’ve written a few things before in the past, i figured i’d make a list, a collection, wouldn’t necessarily call it a master list, but y’know. Easier to navigate everything that i have written or am in the middle of writing teehee

so far there is only three fandoms i’ve written for: Hazbin, Helluva & FNAF. but im a fan of other things like codmw, harry potter, certain slashers, batman, creepypastas, the labyrinth (my fav <3) n others

*: The stars indicate explicit content 18+, all GN pronouns and anatomically; otherwise will be specified.

Hazbin Hotel:

_____________________________________

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒽𝑜𝓁𝑒 𝒞𝓇𝑒𝓌:

Transported (Male reader): 【1】【2】

[3]

Reader gets thrown into the Hazbin Hotel after falling down a well, now he’s having a blast interacting with all his favs while also experiencing the fun first hand.

_____________________________________

𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇:

Wing Grooming: 【1】【2*】

You help Lucifer maintain his healthy wings, and in the first part he suggest stopping before things go south, in the second part, things go south straight to smut town.

Met the Devil* Human!reader || PT2

You’re a plain and simple human until you meet a strange man in the night who gives you a card, mysteriously that same strange man shows up at the cottage your house sitting.

Request: Cockwarming Lucifer at Mammon performance

_____________________________________

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝑒:

Zip Zap (male reader)

Charlie gets followed by Valentinos boys, readers there to save the day.

Request: Charlie x male reader *

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𝐸𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎:

Knight (male reader) PT2

In the first part male reader saves Emily after she falls and gets nabbed up by Valentino, and in the second part you comfort her when she has nightmares about it.

_____________________________________

𝒜𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇:

The Dog and The Deer

Reader is a dog demon, Alastor loathes the reader simply because it reminds him of his untimely death, and weak mortality. You however are incessant and want him to like you, you end up finding out why he hates you and possibly start a new friendship.

In Season (Fem Reader)*

Reader is pretty well acquainted with heat, but wasn’t typically affected, thats until she visits the hotel and a scent like no other hit her throwing all her reasoning out the window, Alastor felt the same when he sensed you come into the hotel. SMUT

At first sight*. || PT2 PT3*

Doe reader with white ears and tail has been Charlie’s bestie since childhood, and when they comes to the hotel is hesitant about the radio demon until they meet in the flesh and an instant attraction is there. Reader ends up dealing her soul to him in the form of marriage during a moment of intimacy.

Movie night. || PT2 PT3

Reader and the gang it sit down in the first part to watch Bambi, and it brings back some memories from his past. In the second part, Reader is excited to show Alastor princess and the frog due to the similarities, and in the third part Alastor treats reader to a date after the kindness of the nights prior.

Bully: [1]

Reader is an Imp who’d befriended Charlie and came to the hotel, Alastor makes sure to make readers life a living hell poking at all their soft spots reminding them they’re just a weak little imp. There will eventually be a second part with smut.

Back to Life: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

One day when waltzing through the woods a peculiar looking buck led you deeper into them, while following, you fell hitting your head and woke to a stranger standing over you. You don’t know where you are, how you got here, or who this guy is, but he’s all you’ve got and he’s utterly insane.

Request, cockwarming Alastor*

Request, Songfic: Noel’s Lament

Request Insecure Plus sized reader with Alastor

Request, Reader and Alastor fight and make up teehee, angst fluff smut

_____________________________________

𝒜𝒹𝒶𝓂:

Hate That I Love You

Father Adam (incomplete)

Request - Hosptialized adam teehee

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𝒱𝑜𝓍:

Big Fan (incomplete)

Request; singer reader who vox becomes obsessed with FEM

_____________________________________

𝐿𝓊𝓉𝑒:

Showers* (Fem reader Incomplete)

Obsessed with me (Fem reader incomplete)

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𝒱𝑒𝓁𝓋𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒:

Rivalry To Romance (Female Reader)

You always found yourself in competition with Velvette and you found her to be an insufferable brat, turns out it’s just a wee crush.

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𝒱𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑜:

Request Val bratty reader FEM

Request: bunny reader and spanking

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Helluva Boss: Nothing yet!

Five Nights at Freddy’s:

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Mike Schmidt:

Multifaceted*

Paranormal Investigator

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headspace-hotel · 1 year

Text

so my quest now is to get Arundinaria federally listed as endangered because I think the evidence is highly compelling

it's declined to less than 2% of its original range

it used to be a keystone species in an ecosystem that included Bachman's warbler, passenger pigeons and Carolina parakeets, all extinct now

Currently canebrakes are major habitat for several endangered or critically endangered plants including Venus flytraps and Alabama canebrake pitcher plants

it grows in large clonal colonies and reproduces sexually only every 30-40 years. this means that existing genetic diversity could be incredibly low.

(Personal observation) very, very few existing examples of rivercane are large, robust, and healthy canebrakes. like, most photos and observations I can find are of little, twiggy canes growing as part of the underbrush in a forest.

My canebrake has no canes that look like that. The shortest canes are 4-6 feet tall. But it's not declining—it's healthy looking and on the ground there are tiny sprouts nudging up from the rhizomes. ALSO. I found an old photo of the canebrake, from June 2020. It was like. Half the size. I am certain the river cane was not this tall and striking in the spring. I go on walks daily in the neighborhood; I would have noticed it.

I hypothesize that as a canebrake expands and matures, its growth rate increases, so a "mature" canebrake can shoot up 6+ foot canes in a single growing season. Existing research by the few organizations working on canebrake conservation states that after a controlled burn, canes resprout very rapidly from the rhizome system, growing as fast as 1.5 inches a day. Historical records attest that river cane reached 30 or even 45+ feet tall, but there is like, one photo online in existence of cane taller than 15 feet.

What this means is that almost all remaining river cane is in incredibly poor condition, basically existing in a weak immature state. "Maturity" for river cane means a large clonal colony, not a few sparse sticks in the undergrowth. The fact that this plant grows in large clonal colonies is key—if no mature, healthy colonies exist in an area, the plant is almost functionally extinct.

With the rate of development and clearing of land compared next to river cane's slow flowering schedule, it's likely that many clonal colonies are eradicated without ever flowering, meaning that genetic diversity is almost certainly dropping.

Rivercane is dependent on human management via regular controlled burns to thrive. This is not a species that will recover if simply left to itself—if an area of land is left to reforest, the cane will be outcompeted. If it is grazed by cattle, it will be destroyed.

It is already listed as endangered in a couple states

i'm going back to my volunteer job soon, I will bring this proposal, I already know the head forester and ecologist are interested, and i'll be gathering contacts

#river cane #canebrake #canebrakes #bamboo #conservation

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poisonsage808 · 1 year

Text

♡ Indirect ‘I love you’s ♡

w/ podrick payne, tyrion lannister, sandor clegane (should i do more?)

♡ Podrick ♡

• Podrick is absolutely enamored by you so his heart, lungs mind- everything simply stops when you tell him you love him

• The words are stuck in his throat and, bless his kind heart, he apologizes for it! He thinks he falls for you even harder when you smile and kiss him softly, “Don’t be sorry, I only wanted you to know.”

• Brienne thought you would be a distraction but was proved wrong. Pod’s never been late to training and works harder in the yard, especially when he catches you watching as you pass by. Words may fail him but he can make sure that his sword won’t

• She and Tyrion can attest to it, Pod has always done his damnedest to protect the ones he cares for, he wants you to see that you’re no exception to that

• Said people from above also notice Podrick starts humming when doing tasks or strolling from one place to another

• Tyrion watches his old squire bid him goodnight after only an hour of drinking, faintly hearing that same tune fading down the hall. One doesn’t need to have the mind of a Lannister to see a fool in love, and this fool somehow proudly sings for all to hear

• His voice is wonderful. He knows it too that damn smirk on his face tells you so, “Podrick Payne, what are you doing?” You ask with a cheek hurting grin as he takes your hands into his

• He continues to serenading you, swaying you in small, slow circles. Pod enjoys how the tables have turned, now it’s you who’s as red as a tomato. Redder when his hand slides to your back as he dips you, kissing you passionately

♡ Tyrion ♡

• You’ll never want for anything if you’re his, he’ll do everything in his power to make certain of that

• Howeverrr if what you want is to hear the words then you’ll need to be patient. There’s been two people in this world that've both shown and told him he’s loved, his brother and his first wife. He’s just not ready but don’t they say that actions speak louder anyways?

• Tyrion doesn’t just throw money at situations regarding you, he’s very meticulous in his gifts and he listens to you as much as he speaks

• Your shoes are worn? Here’s five new pairs, take any or all of them. You liked that wine you had months ago that you can’t remember the name of? He’ll have it served with supper tonight. You offhandedly mentioned wishing you could play the lyre? A tutor will be present shortly and Tyrion wants a private performance as soon as possible

• Tyrion’s a busy man and any spare moment he gives to you but sometimes the hour is already so late you’re fighting sleep just to spend more time him

• He’s also a smart man that’s good with his words, he has a soothing voice that suddenly turns smug and your eyes open to glare at him

• “I know what you’re doing,” You say, struggling to hide a yawn. “I would hope so, I only do this every night. How else am I supposed to get you to rest?”

• A compromise is found, Tyrion lays with you in bed and tells you stories until you pass out with your arms around him, trapping him there with you until morning

♡ Sandor ♡

• Tell him you love him and Sandor softly replies with, “I know,” pressing a kiss to your crown

• The words scare him. Not as fiercely as fire but he sees them, sees you, as a weakness nonetheless

• Saying them outloud puts a target on your back and not only for the people around him, if the gods hear he’s acknowledged the words and decided to take you away from him— No. Sandor couldn’t live with that.

• Protection has always been the most natural way for him to show you that you hold his heart

• “I’d kill for you, y’know that?” He starts saying after you tell him you love him, or “I’d die for you,” while cupping your face in both his hands, he needs you to know he means it

• It doesn’t bother him one bit to know blood was spilt by his hand as long as you’re safe at the end of each day

• A less obvious way is when he feeds you— sometimes literally, Sandor will make sure you’ve eaten one way or another. Don’t tell him you’re not hungry, he’ll say, “Didn’t ask if you were hungry, open your mouth.”

• He’ll also let you pick off his own plate and grab you seconds without asking. Don’t worry about wasting, if you’re truly full then Sandor will finish off the rest

♡ requests open! ♡

#poiboidrabbles #x reader #game of thrones imagine #sandor clegane x reader #tyrion imagines #tyrion lannister x reader #podrick imagine #podrick payne x reader #sandor clegane imagine

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jellyfishsthings · 5 months

Text

My lips. Your lips. Apocalypse.

Warnings: my shit writing, violence (kinda?)

part 2

I will be the first person to say it. School is boring. And that is a lot since Nevermore is no ordinary school. The only class that is interesting, yet exhausting, is this one. Mrs Smith is sitting across from me. Staring intensely in my eyes, trying to find the weak spot in my mental shield. We have been at it for hours and I have managed to preserve my resolve. Until now. She finally breaks in.

"So what is it about you? You seem quite ordinary to be going to that school." The cute Barnstaple across from me asks. He has nice brown hair that curls at his ears. Deep thoughtful eyes. He is mundane or better yet, ordinary, as he called me. He is perfect. But something about him screams certain danger. Tyler, Tyler Galpin, whom I have come to know as my best friend. My dreamy best friend, who I moon over day and night and constantly plagues my thoughts.

"That is top secret agent type of shit, you can not know" I answered him with a chuckle.

The memory soon fades, as fast as it appeared. I feel my shoulders sag from exhaustion and I try to find sense in the safety of my magical pendant. The one that keeps others at bay while also containing my powers. The one that keeps me safe not only from others but also from myself. Mind control is not easy stuff, you have to be hyperfocus. Do you want to control something or someone? You have to draw all your willpower and pour it into that task. Which is tough shit. Making someone forget or simply reading their thoughts or memories, even manipulating them is now as natural as breathing. Shielding yourself from others with the same powers is the hardest. There aren't many of us but we are more powerful than anyone else. So if you slip up, you are vulnerable to the world.

You know what they say. With great power comes great responsibility.

My ears are ringing. My mind is reeling. Each breath I take feels like hell. They are uneven, torturous and slow

"Drink this" I feel a cold water bottle touch my bottom lip. I drink the offered water greedily. My vision from hazy slowly starts turning itself clear and I can make out my surroundings again. "Better?" I nod and wait for the lecture to start. "So your shield lasted over two hours. You are strong, you know that, but you can not let yourself get lost in your daydreams. Especially when we are practising ".

"Yeah I know, I know" I heave, still trying to stabilize my breathing.

"Go rest"

I get up slowly. Unsteady on my feet and wandering through the halls while feeling my way in the walls, trailing my fingertips in the cold stoned wall. I enter my dorm and change out of my uniform. Putting on a white oversized shirt, half buttoned and collapsing in my bed.

The hours pass as I am in a half-awake state. Being aware of the room around me, but my organism turns to its usual state. And so I dream. I dream of him. What it would be like to kiss. What it would be like to date.

I am startled awake as my roommate slams the door behind her wake. Wednesday in her usual lack of colour stops in the middle of the room and sharply looks at me. "Good, you are awake".

I sigh rolling my eyes "What do you want?"

"I am going to the house I was telling you about. I might need your help."

"Why?"

"Because you are useful."

"Jee thanks. It feels good to be appreciated. "

The sun has finally set and we walk towards the school's entrance door, where a familiar Jeep awaits. Tyler, he is here. Enid and Wednesday are wearing their matching hoodie scarf things, as usual, I am left out. As usual, Wednesday climbs in the passenger seat, my seat, and Tyler doesn't say a word about that, instead, he flirts with her. He doesn't even greet me or ask about my day, as he used to.

I silently seeth as we arrive at what looks like a haunted manor. We break in and we start wandering through the house trying to find evidence. At some point, we are separated. As I walk into what looks like an old girl's bedroom, I feel a presence behind me, the hair on my neck standing as I grab the nearest object ready to attack.

Yet a strong hand shoots out and stops my blow easily. "Hey there. Be careful, Rockey, you wouldn't want to hit me, now would you?" The breath is knocked out of me. The moonlight hits him just right, highlighting his features, the soft smile, the high cheekbones and sharp jawline. His laughing face turns into one of confusion. He opens his mouth ready to ask me something, when a strange sound echoes through the room.

He grabs me and flushes me to his chest. He places his hand to my mouth and I feel my heart race. I can feel every plain of his body against mine. His defined chest rises and falls in a crazy rhythm, and his hands hold me in place with urgency. We must stay like this for a few seconds or mere minutes but it feels like hours as I try to catalog his characteristics.

"I will go check, it must have been the girls, please stay here."

"What? No, I am coming with you."

"Please." He uses that voice. The one he knows that can convince me to do anything.

So I stay put. Until I see a light shining into the forest. I find myself following it. Threading through the trees and the fallen leaves. Someone moves just out of sight. A knife is thrown my way and I drop to the ground. The figure stalks towards me and as I think that I am doomed. The Hyde makes its appearance, attacking what I assumed to be a man, tiring him to shreds. After it's done it turns my way, snuffing the air as I am frozen in place, terrified to the bone.

The sound of bones breaking fills the air as the monster in front of me turns into a … boy? A familiar one. He is covered in blood and unconscious. I make a quick decision and drag him towards his house, cleaning him up in his bathtub and stitching up the scratch wound on his pecs. Tyler is the Hyde. The Hyde is Tyler. They are one and the same.

I am watching him, studying him while he sleeps. He looks so peaceful yet troubled. I creep towards his father's room and find some handcuffs, thank you Sheriff Galpin, and tie him up in his headboard, waiting till he awakes.

words: 1.154 (there will be a pt.2.... propably?)

#tyler galpin #tyler galpin x reader #tyler galpin x you #tyler galpin smut #tyler galpin fanfic #tyler galpin angst

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soylent-crocodile · 2 months

Text

Red Hag (Monster)

(art by @soylent-crocodile)

(Behold! A hag! The red hag exists because nearly every hag outside of core are, like, Leader Only types, someone who always takes control of their coven and makes it follow THEIR rules. That's all fine and dandy, but it means that filling out a coven can be hard, and filling out a high-level coven without the annis hag (CR6), the green hag (CR5), or the sea hag (CR4) is harder. The red hag is designed as a follower-type hag and more martially inclined than her sisters- in particular, she's designed to be paired with the CR9 night hag. I personally would round the coven out with an ame-onna from @thecreaturecodex, whose temperment and spellcast-y nature provide a nice balance.

Also, the trend of hag being supernaturally "ugly" runs into difficulties when you're critical of conflating disability with evil, so i gave this one the high cheekbones, sharp chin, and wiry eyelashes that are intentionally cultivated by certain fitness communities, as that's more a choice someone makes than just the state of their body.)

CR8 NE Large Monstrous Humanoid

Red hags are the towering physical apex of hagkind; great cunning brutes who use their physical might and tactical skills to live out their brutal destructive fantasies. A red hag relishes the sensation of overpowering her opponents, particularly enjoying the experience of bludgeoning them to death. In battle, this is achieved using her deadly tools, but a red hag may execute a captured victim by dropping heavy objects on them, pelting them with stones, or simply slamming their head against a wall or floor. Red hags in particular enjoy brutalizing men in this way, taking immense joy in the reversal of gender roles.

Indeed, red hags often grow up among farmland and secluded, rural areas where misogyny is rampant and a woman’s work is simultaneously demanded and devalued. Such a place can justifiably produce incredible rage in a changeling, and it’s that rage that often leads these daughters back into the clutches of hagkind.

Red hags frequently join covens; they find value in the company of other hags and have naturally weak spellcasting themselves. Red hags rarely lead covens, as they lack the charisma to assemble a coven or maneuver their way to the top. This doesn’t mean that a red hag is without ambition; the typical specimen dreams of leading her own coven, and intends to achieve this through treachery and force. One trick passed between red hags- who are usually used as frontline vanguards for the rest of their coven- is to let a single enemy combatant through, in hopes that that combatant will kill the hag’s leader for her, only for the red hag to corner and kill that very assassin. Covens led by red hags tend to self-destruct quickly, however; red hags have little interest in subtlety or sustainability once they gain power.

Covens with a red hag lose Baleful Polymorph and gain Telekinesis, Greater Heroism, and Flesh to Stone (DC19)

This woman towers over the tallest human, her skin pulsing with glowing blood vessels just under the surface.

Misc- CR8 NE Large Monstrous Humanoid HD11 Init:+3 Senses: Perception:+19 Darkvision 60ft

Stats- Str:27(+8) Dex:16(+3) Con:20(+5) Int:17(+3) Wis:20(+5) Cha:12(+1) BAB:+11/+6/+1 Space:10ft Reach:10ft

Defense- HP:116(11d10+55) AC:20(+3 Dex, +4 Armor, +4 Natural, -1 Size) Fort:+9 Ref:+6 Will:+12 (-4 vs Emotion) CMD:33

Offense- Deadly Tools +19/+14/+9(1d10+13 19-20/x2 plus trip or disarm) or 2 Claws +16(1d8+8) CMB:+20 Speed:40ft, Climb 40ft Special Attacks: Deadly Tools

Feats- Combat Reflexes, Standstill, Combat Expertise (-3/+6), Improved Trip, Greater Trip, Power Attack (-3/+6), Feral Grapple

Skills- Climb +30, Escape Artist +14, Knowledge (Local) +14, Perception +19, Sense Motive +16, Survival +19, Swim +22

Spell-like Abilities- (CL11, Concentration +12) Break (DC12), Magic Weapon, Remove Paralysis /at-will Fog Cloud 3/day

Special Qualities- Martial Flexibility (6/day), Shapechange (A single humanoid form, Alter Self)

Ecology- Environment- Grasslands, Urban (Any) Languages- Common, Giant, Goblin, Abyssal Organization- Coven (Three Hags) Treasure- Standard

Special Abilities-Deadly Tools (Su)- Any sufficiently large item used for housekeeping or farm labor- such as a broom, a rake, or a farming scythe sized for a medium creature- is deals damage as a medium sized +1 Heavy Flail in the hands of a red hag. The red hag does not receive any penalties for wielding an undersized weapon. Martial Flexibility (Ex)- A red hag has martial flexibility as a 6th level brawler. The stat block provided has not used any of her uses of this ability and thus does not have any bonus feats listed.

#soylent original #monsters and races #homebrew #pathfinder #witch #dungeons and dragons

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hiemaldesirae · 20 days

Note

Swap AU:

Vox's Goetia (we need a name for him...umm because he's where Vox gets the extras for the fight against Heaven; got any ideas?) looks like a Griffin. He's got a Lion lower half and eagle upper half but his colors are shades of blue. (You see why Vox proposed that deal.)

The crew work on defense for days. Vox goes to Lucifer to ask about Angel weaknesses and informs him about Adam's threats against Charlie and the Hotel, and that's how the hotel crew gets informed of angel weaknesses. Lucifer tells, after all why should he keep Heaven's weakness a secret when they're coming for his daughter?

Vox then puts a big order of Angelic steel in for Carmine, paying extra to have it arrive early, which it does so he and Pentious can build turrets and drones to shoot down the exterminators. They have a blast.

Also: fun facts:

Vox's sensors and subconscious relax and recognize Alastor's scent as safe, even though Vox himself cannot smell anything. The sensor's database has recognized certain scents as family (Husk's, Vel's, Val's) lover's/husband's (Alastor's) little sister (Charlie's) my duck loving liege lord who might be my friend too? (Lucifer) the crazy exorcist chick whose now treating me with kid gloves--IT WAS ONE PANIC ATTACK! (Vaggie) Val's weird Spider who keeps taking photos and I know is stealing my shit (Angel Dust) The Best Little Engineer That Could (Sir Pentious) The Engineer's less then steller sidekicks 1-8 (Eggbois) the chick that keeps blowing up the wall (Cherri Bomb)

Angel Dust does do more then steal. He brings in Alastor's cooking to the Hotel, and Vox who does miss homemade jambalaya jumps at the chance to eat it. Vox just devours it. (Of course Angel lied and told him it was set aside for Niffty and Velvette for working so hard. He wasn't going to tell him Alastor had been waiting at the door of V-tower with the large Tupperware bowl with strict instructions that only Vox got what was inside.)

Vox actually turns in early--he'd been stressing out with Adam's threat laying over him and the thought of a true death coming for him hasn't sat well, but the warmth of good food made him sleepy and he goes to bed. He's barely asleep when Alastor joins him, gently petting his rabbit ears and murmuring his undying devotion to sleeping Vox's ears.

uhhh. drawing from the demons of the ars goetia grimoire, seir could work as a name? according to his description, seir can go to any place on earth in a matter of seconds to accomplish the will of the conjurer (possibly explaining how vox can use him for errands and such), and hes not a particularly evil demon. he's also a prince of hell, so that makes his and stolas' relation even closer since there seems to be only 7 of them in the ars goetia grimore

HAHAHA awww bonding time with pentious and vox!!! i still stand by the fact that i think vox should get to say kys to at least ONE other person in the swap au. i simply believe my wife should be allowed to cyberbully whoever he wants <3 also i imagine lucifer would show up to help with fortifications too, no? i just cant see him leaving his daughter and friend alone to deal with the fallout while not leaving the palace... though admittedly, i am a bit biased from what electric mentioned.

me after i die. HE STILL RECOGNIZES AL AS HIS LOVER...... auwgudawgh...... imgonna be SICK. what the HELL did they even fight about because clearly it wasnt enough to keep both of them from pining for each other... AUAUWGAHAH every time you come in my inbox its like another plane (angst( striking the twin towers (my heart)

and i am SUCH a fucking sucker for radiostatics love language being food. the idea that al nabs / has angel nab voxs stuff so that he can stake his claim but he also makes him food.... just stop being cryptic and TELL HIM YOUR SHIT !!! god i hate them. dysfunctional ass toxic couple theyre the WORST. and al. please for the love of god just be a Normal Person and STOP BREAKING INTO VOXS BED AT NIGHt ?!!?!?? just one normal thing from you. god damn its like if he doesnt act like a freak he loses 20 years off his lifespan or something

#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #general asks #radiostatic #swap au

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tzov · 1 year

Text

I saved this as a draft for a long time but I want to share it now:

Boys and men in sports humiliate and injure to prevent girls and women from "encroaching" on what they consider their domain.

I've tried to talk about this many times in my life, and I always get the, "you just can't handle competition, you just expect me to go 'easy,' on you, you're just whiny/weak/holding up the game, this is unavoidable" when it was extremely obvious to me that I was being maliciously targeted by boys in an attempt to humiliate me, not in an attempt to simply win the game.

I recognize common threads between complex individual experiences:

-That the excess violence was CLEARLY not necessary to win;

-That it was done to me/other girls and not boys of a comparable size/skill (or, often, lesser size/skill);

-That it would occur when I was not that great of a threat i.e., they would spend the whole CASUAL game focused on shutting me down even though a lot else was going on; and then, when it was serious and we were actually trying, we would be having fun, getting rough, and then when I was up, the clear moment of a DECISION (with a petulant gleam in the eye) to make it unfun by SUDDENLY kicking/slapping/shoving me EXCESSIVELY hard (in a way I could not prepare for as it had no precedent in the game), PURPOSELY (this is not hard to tell) hurling the ball as hard as they can at my head while I'm not looking, etc. (and this was often on top of disproportionate, unsportsmanlike ridicule/taunting, i.e., condescending/disgusted/impatient that I never saw boys do to each other, instead of the fun shit-talking that I DO understand is part of sport);

-In situations where they would not allow me to play (i.e., ignore me completely as a teammate, refuse to assign me a role, etc.), because they ASSUMED I couldn't before I could prove otherwise, and then when I insist, instantly hurting me on purpose so I still never get a chance to show that I am skilled/competitive;

-And finally, it was ALWAYS in conjunction with specific comments about my femaleness, or comments about how I'm overconfident/need to be taught a lesson (and I would not include this point if I were bragging about my skills or messing up the game, I can tell if I'm holding up a competition).

In the end, all of this DOES result in my being less practiced and skilled, which serves as an ad hoc justification for it

In my memories, it seems like they are angry that a girl has the audacity to try, because nothing is more hammered into our heads than, "girls are weak and it's unthinkable to lose to them or take them seriously." Just because women can't compete with men at certain high level sports obviously does not mean that every individual girl will lose to every individual boy--- and it's so important for me to tell the difference that I am very thoughtful about whether it's "rowdy crazy high level man stuff--" I've never been interested in participating in that because it's scary and feels pointless.

As a lifelong athlete, I also have a lot of experience with accidentally getting hurt, with "intimidation" as a legitimate strategy, with making a beginner player quit because they obviously don't belong in your game; but these are all ways boys will try to pass off their cruelty.

It's also worth noting that boys my age were UNABLE to physically overpower me until about age 14, and all of this still happened (though it happened a lot more after that). I know that sometimes girls can hold up games and be overconfident and I can imagine that would be annoying. But sport is so important to me, and this pain is so deep, and I've been told these things all my life, so there's no way I would not be looking out for such nuance.

For most girls, it really only takes the one experience for them to never try again. For me, I BELIEVED people for a long time that I just needed to accept that things get competitive and rough-- and that's why I put myself through it over and over, only to find that something else, something far more sinister, was clearly at play.

In summary, men and boys are actively unsportsmanlike and unnecessarily cruel to girls and women who want to try to build skill and compete in various sports, and this is nothing to do with biological differences-- just misogyny.

#women in sports #title ix #misogyny in sports #radical feminist safe #og

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