#and i was like FUCK. NO

[theygender]

Apparently the scene you get with Shadowheart if you get her approval all the way up and then tell her you want to get to spend time with her is the same one you're supposed to get at the tiefling party, which means if you trigger it early you may not get any scene with her at the party at all. This made things pretty confusing when I showed up expecting to advance my romance with her and instead she just gave me some generic "lol wine is good huh" dialogue meanwhile every other companion* BUT her was actively trying to jump my bones... Literally just had to beat everyone else off of my Tav with a stick and then go to bed alone 😔

*Except Lae'zel, who instead went on an unprompted rant about how she knew I wanted to fuck her sooo bad but I had Pissed Her Off by making her be Nice to People so now she would NEVER allow me the pleasure of having crazy hot githyanki sex with her. (She propositioned me a few days later anyways)

#i seem to have accidentally started a romance with lae'zel astarion AND gale in addition to shadowheart 😭 #like the next day i had a notice to talk with astarion and it was the scene where hes talking about not being able to see his reflection #and it was literally like dodging fucking bullets trying to pick an option that wasnt flirting #i ended up having to pick some mean dialogue that was like 'maybe its for the best youre not exactly aging gracefully' #bc the ONLY other two options were like 'tell him you think hes beautiful' and 'gaze lovingly into his eyes' or some shit #and i was like '...okay im picking the mean one but i mean it as a joke. maybe it can be a joke' and i picked it an he was all horrified #but then the next dialogue gave me an option to say 'lol im just kidding' and i was like PHEW #but then he just went back to being fucking flirty again and was like 'really~ well then tell me what you like about me the most' or smth #and i was like FUCK. NO #but then the next dialogue tree in addition to having the normal flirty options had three additional options #that were like 'youre fine. but lae'zel/gale/shadowheart? now theres real beauty' #and i was like. fuckin. OKAY #ill wonder wtf those other two are doing there later but for now ill pick the one where i tell him in interested in shadowheart #so i picked that option and this bitch fucking APPROVED. told me he was going to have to work harder to keep up with his competition #like SIR. what do you MEAN competition. i let you bite me ONE time bc you said you were dying of thirst and i wanted to help a bro out #and then the next morning i immediately told you i didnt like it and i never wanted it to happen again #what do you mean competition dude you arent even on my radar 😭 im a DYKE #and why were lae'zel and gale there as options too?? #the next night i got gales weave scene where he shows my character how to use magic #(my tav was pretty unimpressed as a fellow mage tbh but hes my friend and i was being polite) #and when i clicked the option to clearly say at the end that i was not interested in having an intimate moment with gale #he got all misty eyed and was like 'oh how quickly these moments fade away...' #like bro the moment didnt fade away i politely shut it down on purpose bc im not interested. what are you talking about #and THEN i got lae'zel trying to fuck me and when i turned her down she gave me the exact same dialogue #about how i would miss out on having hot githyanki sex with her. AGAIN #yall im JUST trying to romance shadowheart 😭 leave me alone #if anyone else is gonna try to trap me into flirting with them then at least let it be karlach next time please 😭🙏 #(ill come back for lae'zel on another playthrough bc being between her and shadowheart sounds like a safety hazard tbh) #rambling

[teaboot]

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

#Plus my sense of smell always goes crazy like a couple days prior #So #I feel like I could really lean into the mythos #They'll get the talk of course but Werewolf Week sounds way cooler than Lady Time or whatever the fuck

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

#on like one of those am I the asshole update subs. I fucking love those #this one was swill tho comment op is right #art philosophy tag

[blairwitchapologist]

has anyone else been seeing the tweets about a lotion from sephora that attracts spiders

#i got all of these screenshots from twitter #it’s fucking insane #it’s like a $43 lotion

[randomalistic]

Selfshippers who ship with weird/unappealing characters. I love you. Like hell yeah you go get with Mr Crocker. Go get with lord faarquad

#I get it. #EMBRACE THAT SHIT #it’s such a fucking power move and I gain so much respect for u #also I’d like to add I selfship with spamton neo and king candybug #if that makes you feel any better #selfship #txt #1k

[cadaverkeys]

You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

#rambles #if you are a person who is into delicate skills #like lacemaking or printing or sewing #you will know fair well just how non expansive the knowledge online is in comparison to written guides from like the 50s #there was a time where at least one person in the household had to know a constructive skill #but in the modern day there is just less ans less demands for comprehensive guides #library propaganda #im stuck doing an essay rn but bc i have covid i cant go to the library and its totally fucked me #i want to source a lot of the stuff i read irl but i just cant go and get it and theres no online ver

[lastoneout]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

#MR. KELLOGG I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING WORD #beating this man's fucking corpse with a broom #I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POOP AND WEIRD CHRISTIAN NONSENSE NOW EVERYONE THINKS PLEASURE IS BAD FOR YOU #KILLING AND BITING AND MAIMING

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova #UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away. #then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again. #ria.txt #personal #space opera au #(<- not about what you think is about) #hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good. #xkcd #randall munroe #space #moon #anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!

[thedisablednaturalist]

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

#wrenfea.article #theres a video in the article #her name is gaia and shes 8 months #shes part of the AZA breeding program #i now have a reason to visit utah #leetle baby gorl #black footed cat #conservation news #conservation #zoos #animals #also the highest successful kill percentage for big cats is like. 25% #so 60% is fucking crazy

[cemeterything]

"objectively physically attractive but in possession of negative rizz" is one of my favorite character concepts. i think it's so great when there's an absurdly hot person who's just a complete fucking loser. the mood is unsalvageable the moment they open their mouth kind of deal. you get no bitches because you're so sucks.

#🐉 #this is abt terror amc fitzy btw. nobody wants to fuck you you are annooooooying! #like i simply would not hit that you could NOT persuade me to endure it

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

#talk tag #IT KILLS ME. REIGEN IS NOT MOB'S DAD. HE HAS A DAD. INGO IS NOT AKARI'S DAD. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN ANYONE HEAR ME #(not even necessarily to say that ingo is in his late 20s but still) #(even if he was a 30-40-50 year old no matter how old he is no fucking teenager is gonna call some guy they met as a 15 year old ''dad'') #GAI IS NOT A FATHER FIGURE TO ROCK LEE HE WAS LIKE 13 WHEN HE WAS BORN! PLEASE!!!!!!!! #one time i saw that a ​person wrote a fic where mario was like a father figure to luigi. #they are TWIN BROTHERS. #not what this about but idk where else i can say anything about this. #just horrible #also sometimes someone is just An Older Friend like no familial relationship just a friend or acquaintance who is a lot older than you

[peggycatrerr]

today on the train home the guy next to me was on his phone and at one point i saw him go on tumblr and he just had like. a normie dash. like it was all photography. of nature and architecture. he was using tumblr the way a heterosexual landscaper for rich people might use instagram. i actually had to watch his screen for a few seconds to be sure it really was tumblr because i was so taken aback by the content he was viewing. this is why algorithmless websites are so beautiful btw because i genuinely didn't know that this side of tumblr even existed. he didn't even so much as scroll past any text posts.

EDIT: look i'm not going to turn off reblogs but i cannot stress enough that THIS WASN'T A HIPSTER BLOG DASH IT WASN'T AN AESTHETIC BLOG DASH IT WAS THE MOST WILDLY GENERIC COLLECTION OF IMAGES YOU HAVE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING OR BEING A QUIRKY FANDOM TUMBLRINA WHEN I SAY "NORMIE" I GENUINELY MEAN "SO NORMAL THAT IT CIRCLES AROUND TO WEIRD". CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME? HELLO?

#steph's post tag #also no more ''um actually there is an algorithm and this is proof'' THERE ISN'T AN ALGORITHM IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT THE FUCKING FOR YOU TAB #LIKE THE DASH IS A CHRONOLOGICAL FEED OF BLOGS YOU ALREADY FOLLOW. I DISCOVER BLOGS ORGANICALLY THROUGH THE ONES I ALREADY FOLLOW. #IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN ALGORITHM ON TUMBLR THAT'S A YOU PROBLEM.

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[nouverx]

"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin rosie #radiorose #alastor #my art #autodesk sketchbook #they are so freaky they must have so many fucked up conversations like that I just know it #it's their weird way of “flirting” yk what I mean #I headcanon that Alastor HATES burgers and fast food in general ik it's very specific #my artstyle is so inconsistent ahah I'm experimenting don't mind me

[haroldhighballjordan]

sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group I’m in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasn’t home and steal the cat they’d adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didn’t really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldn’t let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like “girl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, I’ll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your cat’s there.” And the OP was like “bet.”

So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this woman’s cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like “I got the goods. Where you wanna meet.” And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.

And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.

#the best part of all is that I also knew the ex boyfriend because he worked at this place my friend was the manager of #and I texted my friend like ‘yo have you heard about this cat situation’ #and she was like ‘I swear to god if one more person asks me about this fucking cat’ #it was the drama of the century #the whole city was up in arms over this cat

[crustaceousfaggot]

No nuance allowed. Put your nuance in the tags, I just want a yes or no answer

#1k #why the fuck did this blow up #this post sucks #i turned off notifs after like 300 notes cause it got sick of seeing tags #and now I look and there's fucking 12k???? #y'all could be reblogging my makeuo and cosplay posts that I spend hours on but no #Tumblr is as tumblr does #anyways #10k #what the fuck why's it still going #20k