#and if joel’s like bill as bill says and then bill says to protect tess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quin-ns · 1 year

Text

Invisible String (Joel Miller x Reader)

Word count: 3K

Summary: bill and frank host. tess is jealous. joel is confronted with his feelings. you cry over a shower

Tags: 2007 (as seen in ep3), age gap, protective!joel, jealousy, tess isn’t painted in a bad light but she gets her feelings hurt a lil, angst, joel being emotionally suppressed, everyone hiding their emotions actually no one copes normally, emotional hurt/comfort, hugs, pining!joel, hugs, fluff

Request: anon: “hello! i am totally obsessed with your work! i was womdering, if you still take requests, if you can write a joel x reader fic where the reader has a tough exterior with everyone, including Joel, but he knows how sensitive and delicate she is on the inside and behind closed doors. picture this for reference: she had warm water at bill and frank's and she started sobbing uncontrollably, but in front of joel she will always deny she doesn't feel depressed and emotional, but he knows better that this and they both help each other to open up.”

Request: anon: “loved your first joel fic!! if you’re okay with requests can you do another joel fic where maybe tess is jealous of how joel softens around the reader? like he’s not really an affectionate guy but with her he is and tess realizes how he feels about the reader? maybe they’re at frank and bills house and she knows joel doesn’t want to stay but for the reader he will? or something like that it’s up to you- you’re the writer after all”

A/N: so since both of these requests included joel being soft for the reader and them being at bill and franks, I decided to combine them. I liked both concepts and I thought mixing them would lead to something interesting. I feel like there’s more to this story so if y’all want a part two lmk

Cross-posted to ao3 • tlou masterlist • writing masterlist

When you, Joel, and Tess first met Bill and Frank, none of you had any idea how you’d end up feeling about the two men.

Frank had allowed the three of you to enter their isolated town and introduced them both (okay, nice enough), and then Bill had pointed a gun at you (not so nice). Why you? No particular reason other than that you were his closest target. From that moment Joel wasn’t a fan.

“If you’re gonna point that thing at someone, point it at me. Not at her,” Joel said sternly, his hardened gaze fixed on Bill. The two stared one another down for a moment as Bill quickly identified Joel’s weakness. Tess looked at Joel, working hard to hide the frustration on her face.

He obliged, turning the gun onto Joel.

“Bill,” Frank said softly yet firmly.

Bill glanced at Frank, who was silently asking him to relent. Bill lowered the gun with a huff.

With the hostility out of the way, or at least set aside for the moment, Frank offered you an apologetic smile.

“Would you like to see our home?” he asked as a peace offering.

“We’d love to,” Tess answered at the same time as Joel, who said—

“We actually should be going.”

You didn’t say anything, which caused them both to look at you. Tie breaker.

Tess had a feeling you’d agree with her, but what happened next still bothered her.

You and Joel exchanged a look, having a silent conversation. Joel registered that despite the gun incident, you weren’t fearful. It was only because of that that Joel looked at Frank and nodded.

“Alright,” he changed his answer.

Tess wanted to scream.

Frank seemed relieved and his smile grew. He led the three of you to the large white house that the two men called their home.

“You’re welcome to anything in the house,” Frank said kindly, ignoring the disapproving grunt that came from Bill. “Clothes, medicine, water, food—although Bill will be starting dinner soon—and of course the shower,” he listed off.

Your ears perked up at “shower.” Joel could tell by the way you actually lifted your head. Just a day ago you had been reminiscing on how long it had been since you felt clean. Like, really clean. Hot water, soap, soft towel—you longed for it and Joel knew that.

Frank noticed too. “Shower it is.”

“Thank you,” you said immediately. “For being so kind and sharing your home with us.”

“If I’m being honest, I’ve been bugging Bill for us to find some friends,” Frank admitted to you quietly. “Speaking of which,” he started. “Bill? Maybe you could get our other guests some drinks? I’m going to show—“ he looked back at you.

“Y/N,” you filled in.

“—Y/N to the shower,” Frank finished.

You didn’t hear what Bill had to say, but that was the least of your concern as Frank gestured for you to follow him.

Joel watched as you followed Frank away. He itched to go after you, not comfortable with you being apart from him. He felt incredibly protective over you and maybe it wasn’t the healthiest reaction, but he didn’t like to let you out of his sight. It scared him—not that he’d ever admit it.

“Don’t worry, I think she’ll survive without you,” Tess said sarcastically, smothering the genuine bitterness she felt at the man’s reaction. Joel was never like this before. Well, before you.

Joel threw her a glance, but didn’t say anything. Bill was approaching them and grumpily suggested they follow him into the kitchen.

They all made casual conversation, Tess doing most of the talking.

Upstairs, Frank was showing you to the shower. He’d given you a towel and found you soap, shampoo, and conditioner.

“Thank you so much,” you said yet again. Frank just laughed it off and told you no worries, and that if you needed anything you could just call for him.

You closed the door, isolating yourself in the bathroom. You turned on the water and held your hand under it until it was warm. A smile spread across your face. You quickly stripped and stepped under the water, longing for the feel of a hot shower.

It was everything you had hoped for. You relished in the hot water rushing over your tired body.

You prided yourself on being tough—like not even flinching when Bill pulled his gun on you—but something about the comfort that reminded you of the old world brought tears to your eyes. Their house was so normal. Nothing like the wilderness, the destroyed towns, or even the QZ. You were only a child when the pandemic happened, but you held onto a few fond memories. You never felt at home in the QZ.

The only thing that made it feel comfortable and safe was Joel, but this was still so much better than the QZ. It was overwhelming.

Next thing you knew, a sob of happiness broke free. And once it started you couldn’t stop.

In the kitchen, Bill was standing at the stove cooking. Joel didn’t know what it was—but it smelled delicious. Frank had excused himself to set up a table outside so everyone could eat together in the nice weather.

“Sorry, by the way,” Bill announced, off topic from the previous discussion. He didn’t look up from his task of sautéing onions as he spoke. “For the uh, gun thing. Can’t be too careful.”

Tess and Joel looked at one another. They both suspected Frank must’ve said something to convince him to apologize. But beyond that, they both thought back to the incident. A flash of anger shot through Joel at the memory of the weapon being targeted at you. Tess remembered how reckless Joel had been, asking Bill to turn the gun on him. Would he really trade his life for yours? Once Tess started thinking about that, she couldn’t stop.

She started to become quiet during the conversation, which was pretty much when the talking fizzled out. Joel wasn’t very talkative, and clearly neither was Bill.

“I’m gonna go see if Frank needs help,” Bill decided after a few minutes. Joel and Tess exchanged a look. Obviously he just wanted away from them for a moment of relief—he wasn’t anticipating having to be social and wasn’t too happy with it.

Once they had a moment alone, Joel had a feeling Tess was going to unleash. It had been building up, Joel could tell her mood had turned sour.

“What was that?” she asked vaguely. Joel furrowed his brows. “Earlier,” she clarified.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joel stated. He had an inclination, but he was hoping Tess would drop it.

She didn’t. “You asked him to point a gun at you!” Tess said in a hushed yell, frustration seeping out in her scolding tone.

“He wasn’t going to shoot me,” Joel deadpanned.

“He wasn’t going to shoot at all,” Tess confirmed. “So then why did you tell him to turn it on you?”

She was pushing for an answer she didn’t want, but now that she had started Tess wasn’t going to let up. She was stubborn like that.

“I didn’t like him pointing a gun at Y/N,” Joel admitted. The memory of it made him clench his fist. Tess didn’t see that, but she saw the way Joel wouldn’t hold her gaze.

Her jaw clenched. “You’re too soft on her.”

At that, Joel scoffed. The sound came out before he could stop it. “How is that being too soft on her?”

Tess was quiet for a moment, contemplating her next words. “It’s not just that,” she said, quieter, almost distant. It was a contrast to how loud she’d been getting.

Joel took a deep breath through his nose, then let out a heavy sigh. He finally looked Tess dead in the eye. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

If it wasn’t for the desperate look on Tess’s face, he would’ve gotten up and walked away. She wasn’t done. She was struggling to say what she wanted to say, and Joel didn’t want her to.

“The moment she came into our lives, that was it,” Tess told herself just as much as she was saying it to Joel.

She was backing Joel into a corner. “Where is this coming from?” he questioned.

Tess let out a humorless laugh. “This has been a long time coming,” she confessed. “I see the way you look at her, how you act around her. She’s just about half your age and yet you always seem to find something in common. You cut me out, Joel.”

Joel was at a loss of words. He couldn’t seem to find the words to defend himself. Tess continued.

“We’ve been in that scenario before, do you remember? When you and I were making a trade and the punk pointed a gun at me?” Tess recalled. Joel recovered the memory quickly, and he began to zero in on exactly why this meant so much to Tess. “You never would’ve considered trading yourself for me. I know because you didn’t.”

“That was different,” was all Joel could come up with.

“I never would’ve made you choose between me and her, but you did on your own,” Tess held firm. Her jaw clenched as she fought to not let herself get any more emotional. “And you chose her. I see that now.”

“Tess,” Joel started, but she shook her head.

“Don’t try to lie to me. Please.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Joel said. He wasn’t even sure what he was planning on saying before. This had all come out of nowhere. At least for him, Tess had clearly had this on her mind for a long while and today just happened to be the final straw. “I’m sorry,” he decided, but it was too little too late.

Tess liked you. She really did. And you hadn’t done anything on purpose. You probably didn’t even know the effect you had on Joel. That’s what made being jealous of you so hard. She wanted to not like you, to blame you for stealing any ounce of affection Joel allowed himself to have, but she couldn’t.

She cleared her throat. “I’m going to go check and see if they need any help setting up outside.” The sudden calmness was eerie. Joel looked at her cautiously. “We’re going to just… drop this,” Tess decided. “And we can all try and have a nice time together, eat a real meal, take hot showers, and relax for the night before we head out in the morning.”

Suppression. Tess was going to bottle everything up. Ignore it and move on. It was something her and Joel had in common.

She left him then, and Joel felt no desire to go after her. He felt guilty about that, but he had nothing left to say to Tess about that and she’d concluded her piece.

Instead, Joel found himself leaving the kitchen table. He followed the sound of running water upstairs. You’d been in the shower for a while and there was a nagging feeling in Joel’s chest that longed to find you.

His feet carried him to the bathroom door, where he knew you still were.

Joel heard a sad, gasping sound from you. It was nearly drowned out, but he heard it. Concern overwhelmed him in an instant.

Joel pressed his ear to the door. He almost busted in, but wanted to take a moment. And it was good he did. What he had first thought were sounds of distress, was actually you muffling cries of relief. He could tell. He wasn’t sure how—maybe it was the tone, or the softness to the sounds, or he just knew you too well—but he could tell.

His hand reached for the doorknob. Joel grasped it and contemplated turning it. He leaned the side of his head against the door.

“Y/N?” Joel called through the door. He went blank over what else to say. Should he ask if you were alright? Would you be weirded out if he asked to come in? You were showering after all. Instead he said nothing.

You went silent. Joel felt bad now. You were never emotional around anyone, you tried to hide it from him. Joel wished you wouldn’t. But he supposed you were just following by example.

“Yeah?” you asked.

“Um,” Joel stalled. “I was just checking on you.”

“Oh, um, I'm alright,” you replied. A few seconds of quiet passed. “Thank you, though.”

Joel listened to the sound of water rushing from the shower. You’d stopped your tears it seemed, but Joel could hear the quiver in your voice when you’d spoken.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Joel told you carefully.

“I’m fine, Joel,” you assured.

When Joel first met you, you were innocent despite the dark world and wore your heart on your sleeve. You used to express yourself emotionally, but now Joel couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen you let yourself break.

You’d gotten better about hiding it. He wanted to help you open up, but that was something even he struggled to do.

Joel went down the stairs and to the living room. No one else was in the house, he could see out the window that Frank was showing Tess around their garden while Bill was setting up the food.

Joel sat on the couch and thought over your interaction through the door. He wished he would have waited for you to come out of the bathroom to talk to you, to make sure you were okay, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Because then he’d have to explain himself as to why and after the conversation with Tess, he feared how you’d react to the knowledge of his feelings.

As if on cue, there were light steps descending down the stairs. Joel turned to look at you.

Your hair was damp, and you were wearing an oversized clean shirt that must’ve come from one of the hosts (Frank was the nicer one, so Joel guessed it was him who lent you it) and a pair of jeans that you’d packed that you hadn’t worn yet.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“Hey,” Joel said, watching you as you moved over to him. “Everyone else is outside.”

“I see that,” you said lightly. “Is everything okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Joel asked.

You shrugged. “I thought I heard arguing earlier. You and Tess,” you explained. “Bathroom is right above the kitchen…”

A brief moment of unease filled Joel. “What all did you hear?”

“No words clearly, just Tess raising her voice,” you revealed. Joel just gave you a slight nod. He had a feeling that wasn’t the only thing you had to say. “Did you, um… hear me earlier?”

Joel knew instantly what you meant. “No.” He hated lying to you. “Yes.”

“I thought so. I just”—you searched for your words—“I’m fine. That was just—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself.”

You swallowed and took a breath. “I’m not weak.”

Joel let out a small huff. “I know that.” That fact that you thought you had to tell him was amusing in an odd way. He was well aware.

“Well, alright then,” you said decidedly. “It’s just been so long since we’ve had hot water and—“

“You don’t have to explain yourself. You’re allowed to feel,” Joel reminded. “I know you. You’re strong. But you’re also a good, sweet, caring person and I just”—Joel sighed, struggling for his words even as they were tumbling out—“I don’t want to see you go numb to the world. I don’t want you to end up like me.”

You looked at him curiously. He stood for some reason, it felt more natural for him. Your eyes held his on his way up. “You’re not numb, Joel,” you told him, sounding so sure of yourself. “I don’t think that. I think you put on a brave face just like I do. Although I guess I’m not as good at hiding it as I thought.”

A small laugh left you as you shook your head.

“What?”

“It’s just been so long since I talked about… feelings,” you admitted.

“Same here,” Joel agreed.

“It’s weird, isn’t it? I shouldn’t be, but it is.”

Joel got an idea. He hoped it wasn’t a bad one. “Maybe we can… help each other with that. Y’know, find a way to talk about it.”

You gave him a gentle smile. Before Joel could process, you were wrapping your arms around him and clinging to him in a hug. It was a sudden, unfamiliar movement. Joel held you against his body, resting his chin on your head.

“That’s a good idea,” you told him, your voice muffled against him.

Joel hadn’t touched, let alone held, someone in so long. It was nice. Mostly because it was you.

The sound of a door opening and heavy steps alerted you, causing you and Joel to part from one another. Frank approached the two of you with a welcoming smile on his face.

“Dinners ready,” he informed, looking between the both of you.

“Seriously, we cannot thank you enough, Frank,” you said kindly. He gestured towards the door in an “after you” manner. You gave him a smile and headed outside. Before you stepped out, you gave Joel one last grateful look.

There was a slight smile on Frank’s face as he looked at Joel, who hadn’t moved yet.

“It’s nice to have someone in a world like this, isn’t it?” Frank asked in a sincere tone.

Joel looked out the window towards the garden where you joined the table. You smiled at the sight of the food and took a seat.

After having a whole conversation about allowing feelings, Joel decided that he didn’t want to suppress the small smile of appreciation that crossed his own face.

“Yeah, it is,” Joel answered.

starting a joel taglist, if you’d like to be on it lmk through an ask or message!

joel taglist: @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose

#quin-ns writing #request #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

6K notes · View notes

magnetic-rose · 1 year

Text

if you loved episode 3 of tlou you really should listen to the official podcast with troy baker, craig mazin and neil druckmann because there’s SO much! here’s some of my favorite things said on the podcast:

- joel stacking rocks was to show that he missed and mourned tess. in that moment he was saying “i’m sorry, i blew it, i lost you.”

- in the beginning of the episode ellie told joel tess’ death wasn’t her fault but deep down she does feel like it was her fault.

- ellie admires joel because he protected her multiple times and as a child she has a desire for a parental figure to protect her.

- frank realized bill was gay pretty much as soon as he got out of the hole and saw how bill was looking at him. bill’s taking in how handsome frank is and “frank’s brain is incredibly attuned to that.” that’s why frank was smiling.

- frank realized bill was gay fast, but he realized he wanted bill when bill was playing the piano and singing linda ronstadt.

- it took them a while to find long long time by linda ronstadt but they always intended the song for bill to sing to be about a long love that was forever unrequited. “it was very important that the lyrics were someone saying ‘everyone tells me that it’s okay, that love will find me [...],’ no it doesn’t, no it’s not, and the person that i long for from afar - i’m gonna love them basically forever in the most unrequited manner.”

- it was important that frank immediately knew bill’s sexuality because frank SAW bill, because bill had completely buried his sexuality but frank saw through him.

- frank originally was trying to see what he could get out of bill (like a free lunch) but the more time they spent together, the more he went “oh, this is a beautiful person.”

- “there is two ways of loving things. frank wants to love outwards - he is sun, he is light. he wants to make things beautiful around him, he wants to care for bill, he wants to revitalize the streets so it’s not just this mausoleum bill lives in, and he wants to have friends. he wants to share what they have. and bill wants to put an electrified fence around them that is guarded by an additional layer of flame-throwing gas pipes and no one can show up ever because he must protect frank from the world... and as it turns out, both of those loved are required but one of those loves is likely to give you in trouble more than the other.”

- when frank put his finger on the furniture piece and saw how dusty it was, he realized what his purpose could be in bill’s life. bill can protect them, but frank can nurture their home.

- when bill apologizes to frank for growing old fast, it’s because he’s afraid of frank being left alone. “look at this beautiful man and the beautiful things that he does, and what is bill’s contribution? bill doesn’t grow strawberries. bill’s contribution is to keep frank alive. but bill is already afraid that he’s going to fail and that is a fear that joel has because he has that fear through experience [of losing his daughter.]“

- bill and joel understand each other and that they’re purpose is to protect others. they don’t care about their own lives.

- on their last day together, bill decided very early that he was going to die as well.

- the gun that ellie takes belonged to frank.

- that letter bill wrote reminded joel that he failed to protect both sarah and tess. the letter underscores for him that no matter how hard he tries, he can’t protect the people that he cares about. but now he has ellie to protect.

#tlou #the last of us #bill tlou #frank tlou #billfrank #joel miller #ellie williams #tess servopoulos

6K notes · View notes

entitled-fangirl · 3 months

Text

Two idiots in love. (P10)

Joel Miller x anemic!reader

Summary: the reader gets taken by David. And Joel will do anything to get her back.

Warnings: bruises, creepy comments, kidnapping, manipulation, name-calling, cursing

Author's note: I think 3 updates in one day is enough lmao

Masterlist

Part 1 and 11

.............................................................

Y/N woke up with a labored breath.

In fact, all of her breaths were harsh and painful.

And now that she had truly came to her senses, she couldn't remember taking her medication since Jackson.

She left her medication in Jackson.

"I started worrying you wouldn't wake up."

She sat up slowly, now realizing she was laying on cold tile in a fenced in area of the room.

And she knew that voice.

David.

She hummed, trying to collect her thoughts.

Her shivering frame no longer had her winter coat.

Her torso was just left in a tank top and Joel's flannel.

She finally managed to look up at David.

He smiled, "Tess… is it?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "…Tess?"

He shook his head, "Apparently not." He held up the piece of paper again, "…Y/N?"

She couldn't stop the small instinctual light up of her eyes.

He smiled again, "There she is… pretty Y/N."

In David's hands was Bill's note to Joel. She remembers Joel keeping the paper, and it must have ended up in her backpack.

"So, is Tess the girl?"

"Stop saying that fucking name."

His eyebrows rose, "Alright. Touchy subject." He set the paper down, "I just want to get to know you. Understand you? Is that alright?"

"L…Let me out."

"Well, that's certainly the goal." She saw him grimace, "Sorry for that bruising. Can't imagine it feels nice. I talked to James about it, and I truly apologize on his behalf."

The struggle to breathe.

It was the bruising on her neck from her attempted escape.

"Are you hungry?"

"Wh…why am I in a cage?"

David shrugged, "Have you ever had a pet bird, Y/N? You have to make sure it'll stay before you let it out. Otherwise, it may fly away-"

"-Fuck you."

"Or," he continued more harshly, "More realistically, a dog. You're wild. But don't worry. We'll domesticate you. Make you obedient and respectful. Let you eat the scraps off of the table. The others want to kill you. But I saved you. I can help you. Let me protect you."

She shook her head, "We both know I'm not really on my own."

"Right," he nodded, "your family. Your husband, how is he?"

"He's not my fucking husband."

"Well, I can see how much you care about him, so I know it hurts. But that part of your life, it's ending. And what I'm offering you is a beginning. But if you can't find a way to trust me, then yes. You are alone."

Y/N let out a breath, pushing herself against the wall.

"Can I ask about that?" David asked.

"About what?" She replied coldly.

"That bruise on your arm. Is that… from him?"

A bruise in the shape of Joel's fingers laid around her wrist in a deep purple. It was from cleaning his wound only yesterday, and at the time, she didn't think anything of it.

She looked up at him.

"I see." He said, "You know, people that love you- truly love you- they don't hurt you."

"How the fuck would you know about love?"

"Well, I wouldn't hurt you, Y/N."

"The same bruises are on my neck."

"Those are from James. Not me. I would never hurt you. I think you're beautiful. And beauty is meant to be treasured."

"Joel wouldn't hurt me. He's not like that."

David scoffed, "Did you see what he did to Alec at the university? Snapped his neck. You think he wouldn't do that to you?"

"No. He wouldn't." She reasoned.

"Be serious with yourself, Y/N. That man is dangerous and cruel. You deserve someone kind and protective."

"And you think that person is you?" She scoffed.

He let out a laugh, "Of course, I wish the pretty girl likes me. Who wouldn't? But, I think that's up to you to decide."

And he left her alone with her thoughts.

…

Joel was livid.

He could barely see through the red that clouded his vision.

In the scheme of things, they had somehow taken Ellie, too.

And Joel didn't like it when people touched his things.

He continued to punch the man taped to the chair.

"Please," the man pleased, "I don't know any woman."

Joel stabbed a blade through the man's knee.

"Marco-"

"No, no, no, no" Joel said softly, "He can't help you. You focus right here. Or I'll pop your fuckin' kneecap off."

The man took a deep breath, "She's alive."

Joel nodded, "Where?"

When the man wouldn't answer, Joel twisted the man's kneecap with his bare hands.

"Fuck, fuck! The town!"

"WHAT TOWN?!" Joel yelled.

"..S…Silver Lake."

Joel pulled out a map, setting it on the man's lap.

The same map Y/N had used in Bill's truck.

"It's not a real town name," the man said out of breath, "It's a resort."

"A resort?"

Joel sighed and pulled the blade from the man's knee, shoving the handle of it in the man's mouth harshly.

"You're gonna point to where we are, and where your "resort" is. And it better be the exact same spot you buddy over there points to."

The man did as Joel commanded, then he spit the blade out, "Go ask him. He'll tell you. I'm not lying."

Joel nodded, then shoved the knife into the man's stomach with no mercy.

The other man held hostage yelled out at the violent act. "Why did you do that? He told you what you wanted! I won't tell you SHIT!"

"That's okay," Joel said calmly as he walked to him and grabbed a bat, "I believe him."

Joel swung the bat with no remorse.

…

Y/N was sat on the floor in a panic.

A human fucking ear laid on the ground not too far from her cage.

They were cannibals.

David came in with a plate, setting it on the ground and sliding it to the hungry woman.

But the last thing she could do was eat after seeing what laid on the ground.

He noticed her gaze and followed it, then looked back with a clenched jaw, "For what it's worth, this is just deer meat. I swear."

She let out a small cry, "Are you gonna fucking eat me?"

"I'd rather not."

"How… how could you do this?"

"There are only a few of us that know." David said, "but, I would've told you. Sooner or later."

She let out another small cry.

"It was a last resort. You think this doesn't shame me?"

She sniffled lightly and looked up at him.

David grinned slightly at the eye contact, "Your friend is no different. Didn't he take another man's life to save yours?"

"He…he was defending himself."

"No, he was defending you."

Her eyes left his as she took in his words.

"Can I tell you something? Be honest with you, Y/N? I'm just a shepherd tending to my sheep. And all I want… is someone to share it with. A friend."

"What about my friend?"

He nodded, "I can tell the others to stop looking for him. They'll spare him."

"W…what?"

"If he leaves us in peace, they will just let him go. They do what I tell them to do."

"What about my daughter?"

He smiled, "About that…"

Her heart dropped, "Where is my girl, you sick fuck?"

"JAMES!"

James walked in with Ellie in tow. Her hands were tied behind her back and she fought against the man's movements until she saw Y/N.

David smiled, "A happy reunion, indeed."

Y/N stood and approached the bars as close as she could to Ellie. "Ellie! Are… Jesus, are you alright?"

Ellie nodded.

"Let her go, David. She didn't do anything. I'm the adult here. Blame me. Just… let her go, please. Don't touch her."

The preacher sighed, "Well, I really want to, sweetheart. But… I have to domesticate the dog, remember? So, I take something that the dog loves, like…. Ellie, you said?… and I dangle her in front of the dog's nose. The dog will now do anything I say to ensure it gets what it wants."

"I'm not a dog, David."

He smiles, "No…?"

James pulls on Ellie's hair, making her cry out.

"STOP IT!" Y/N yells, "STOP! Fine! I'll do anything. Anything, please. Don't touch her!"

"C'mere then."

She approached where David stood on the other side of the bars.

His hand wandered to her cheek.

It made her remember Joel's touch.

But they were nothing alike.

David smiled, letting his voice drop to in intimate volume due to the proximity, "And now, the pretty bitch bows to her master."

He turns around, "Put the girl in there."

When Ellie is thrown into the cage, Y/N immediately takes her in her arms.

They watch the men leave the room.

"Where are you hurt?!" Y/N asked frantically.

Ellie shakes her head, "I'm fine. Just… scared."

"And Joel?"

Ellie shrugs, "I heard voices, so I did what I could to lead them from the house. Got the horse shot. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "I don't give a shit about the horse. You're okay, and that's all the matters."

…

A few hours later, the two found themselves a little more relaxed.

David had left them alone for the last 4 hours.

"Y/N?" Ellie asked. "I have something to confess…"

The woman nods, "Okay."

"It's really bad…."

"Bad as in… you killed someone? That's not exactly considered bad anymore."

"No…I… I read the note."

Y/N froze. "What note?"

"The one Joel left for you in Jackson."

Y/N didn't know what to say, "How… when did you… Ellie…?"

"I saw it when I went to the bathroom before we left. I just… I don't know. Part of me hoped that Joel had left it for me. I understand why he left one for you, but…. I couldn't help myself. And I'm sorry for reading it."

"It's fine, Ellie. Really."

Silence.

"Did you want to know what it said?"

"Well," Y/N shrugged, "that depends. Is it something I have to know?"

Ellie considered the question, then shook her head.

"Okay then. Is it something I'd want to know?"

Ellie immediately nodded.

"Hmm. Would this information change what I have with Joel? And with you?"

Ellie frowned in thought, then nodded, "Yeah. Big time."

Y/N sighed, "Well, I don't care then. I like what I have with you and Joel. I don't want to change it. I'd rather live life not knowing anything and having you two, then to know everything in the world and live without Joel and my daughter."

Ellie let out a shuddered breath at her response.

"Joel also said he loves you."

Y/N's head shoots up, "…what?"

"I won't get into details but… it was all mushy about how much he loves you and how you ground him… all the shit he'll never say out loud."

Y/N nodded. "I see. I hope Joel is out there looking for us then."

"Me, too."

If only they knew.

............................................................................

Tags: @lover-of-books-and-tea, @pedropascalfan221, @lottieellz101, @bambisweethearts, @hiroikegawa, @elliaze, @littleshadow17, @n7cje

#fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel tlou #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller #pedro pascal #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #the last of us hbo #tlou fanfiction #tlou

267 notes · View notes

inej-ruination-ghafa · 1 year

Text

MINE - J.M

Warnings: romance, mentions of dead kids

Pairing: Joel miller x fem!reader

Summary: you had known Joel for years and never would have guessed that a nice older man living in the middle of nowhere would bring you two together

Wordcount: 2.6k

and I've done everything I know to try and make you mine and I think I'm gonna love you for a long, long time

You couldn’t believe your eyes as you sat in the garden of Bill and Franks home. You and Tess had been playing with the radio to try and find a signal when you met a kind man named Frank who had offered for them to come round and work together.

Tess wanted to come but she twisted her ankle the any before and they decided it wold be dangerous to take her, just in case something went wrong and they couldn’t get out fast enough.

Never in your wildest dreams could you imagine sitting in the garden, a glass of red wine in your hand. You hadnt seen a house like this in the last 7 years ever since you entered the QZ on that fateful day.

As you looked at Joel, a smile on your face, you couldn’t imagine what your lives would’ve been like if the world would never had ended. You had known each other before then. You were 8 years younger than him and Sarahs babysitter, on that Friday night the world ended, you had been babysitting her whilst Joel was out to pick up Tommy from the station.

“This really is just amazing,” you said, unable to wipe your smile off of your face.

Frank smiled at you, nodding with the same sentiment - he had missed being able to talk to other people - before noticing that Bill was holding onto the gun in his hand, knuckles white.

“Can you not please,” frank said, almost reprimanding his partner for doing that. With a reluctant sigh, bill placed the gun on the table, keeping it pointed at Joel.

“I’m the same way,” Joel said and you nodded in agreement. He had always been the paranoid one in your relationship, or whatever the two of you had. You were always the light, trying to keep his spirit up and his soul intact.

“Oh, you’re a paranoid schizophrenic too?” Frank questioned in an almost sarcastic tone.

Bills brow furrowed as he looked at his partner and then back at Joel, “I’m not schizophrenic,” he said, shaking his head.

“Well can i just say how nice this is, to have a civilised meal,” You said, and Joel looked over at you, seeing the smile on your face, “Next time, we are going to have to bring Tess up here, she loves red wine,”

He had never seen you so happy and at peace, even though you were the happier one out of the three of you, and there was something about it that just made him want to smile too after all these years.

“I’m so sorry she couldn’t make it this time,” Frank said and you nodded your head in agreement.

“Yeah, its just been so long since I’ve been to such a beautiful place. I Just want to say thank you, so much, even if we don’t end up working together,” you explained and Frank nodded, pouring you another glass of wine.

“We are working together,” he said raising his glass. You raised yours as well, clinking your glasses together.

You tried not to think too much about business because you wanted to savour the moment of normality. As your hand rested on the table, Joels rested just slightly next to it, the skin on your hands touching. For a second, you wondered if nothing would have happened between you if the world never would have ended.

Despite the way he held you in the night when you were both lonely, you never kissed, never allowed yourselves that level of intimacy. But despite your arrangement to never fall in love, you had fallen head over heels with the man next to you, an emotionally unavailable man who was ready to fight the world to protect you.

“You know what, lets go inside, Ive been dying to show you something,” Frank said, standing up and breaking the silence.

You placed your wine glass down, standing up, “And I’ve been dying to go inside,” you said, turning back to place your hand on Joels shoulder, “Play nice Texas,”

Bills brows furrowed even further than they currently were, if that was possible, as he watched Frank lead you inside, "Not inside! Frank!" He called out, sighing when you two faded into the distance.

"I understand, if my-” Joel started to say his voice trailing off as he tried to find a word that described you, his friend, his lover, “-If mine brought strangers into this situation, I'd be mad too. We're just decent people trying to get by,"

That made him think about his relationship with you. Sure, he had fallen for you during your rendezvous’ but he knew that you would never go for a man like him. An older man who was broken and couldn’t formulate his emotions, you had so much life ahead of you and he couldn’t ruin that.

Bill scoffed at his sentiment, "Aren't I the lucky one?” He said sarcastically, clearly not interested in the alliance between the four of them plus Tess.

"We can help each other, there's things in the QZ you don't have, books, medicine, machine parts," he said, shaking his head as he looked at the gun Bill still had his fist around,“So why don’t you get that gun out of my face?”

Bill reluctantly clicked the gun onto safety before placing it in a holster on his thigh, his hands coming back onto the table. There was silence for a little while, neither men not knowing what to do without their partners to buff the conversation.

“So what, you were a prepped or something,” Joel questioned

“A survivalist,” Bill clarified before goingback to theor conversation, “Maybe you’re decent people but we are self sufficient here, I don’t need you or your fiend complicating our lives,”

Joel looked over at the fence that separates the small town from tthe rest of the rotting world, “That fence has a year on it tops, galvanised wires already starting to corrode. I can get you enough spools to last you the rest of your life, lives,” he explained.

Inside, you had finished your tour of the house when you landed in the living room, your hand brushing over a cabinets as you looked at the glasses and china plates inside.

"So, How'd you two meet?" You asked and Frank explained how he fell into one of bills traps and the man took mercy on him, the two of them proceeding to live together and fall in love.

"What about you two?" Frank questioned. He had noticed the intimate relationship between the two adults the moment they got into the fence, the way Joel's hand would rest on her back and the other would rest on the gun as if he was always trying to protect her

"Before it all happened," you explained, turning to look at him, "Always the gentleman, always the protector,"

“How long have you been together?” Frank questioned.

Your head whipped around and you snorted in disbelief, “Me and Joel? God, he doesn’t like me back,” you said, your smile fading at the last sentence.

Now it was franks turn to laugh in disbelief at your statement, “That man is in love with you, completely and utterly in love,” he explained, watching your brows crease together in shock, “Its the small things, he pulled your chair out for you, tucked your hair behind your ears. Darling, its just the way he looks at you,”

Your eyes were wide as you came to the realisation that he might have feelings for you, feelings that he hadn't even realised yet.

“Okay, maybe,” you said, shaking your head as you tried to ignore the revelation, “Is this your piano?”

You sat down at the bench and flicked through the book already resting on top, your fingers playing the tune. You remembered growing up with the piano in your small home, you remembered playing the piano to Sarah and teaching her during your sessions.

You heard a call of your name and turned to see Joel standing at the door frame, “We should go now darlin’” he said and your heart fluttered at the nickname. You didnt fail to notice the teary look in your eyes as he heard you singing to yourself and playing the piano, it was almost like nothing had ever changed, like you were still 27 and trying to teach a 12 year old how to play piano.

You looked back at Frank and the man smiled, noticing how you finally realised that Joel reciprocated your feelings to some level.

You stood up, tucking the chair in and walking over to Joel. The two of you walked towards the gate, Frank talking to him about something that you werent really focusing on.

“One last thing,” Frank said, pulling out something from his pocket. It was paint and a paintbrush, “You mentioned you like art over the radio,”

"Are you sure about this?” You asked, your eyes wide as you looked at it. He placed it in your hands. It was only small, four or five colours but it was enough to start off with.

“Yeah, you can come back and trade, and bring your friend Tess, I'm sorry she couldn't come,” he said and you nodded.

You looked over at Joel, seeing a hint of a smile pulling at his lips and you knew he had something to do with this. He also couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your wide grin over something so mundane as paints.

“I have this idea, we can use codes fo the radios, you know, in case anyone is listening,” he said and you nodded your head the two of you walking over to the gate whilst you put the paint in your bag.

"Sounds awesome. Thanks for letting us come stay, it means a lot," you said, your voice fading into the distance.

Joel and Bill stood at a distance, both men still unsure how to talk to one another.

“FEDRA will never come up here, you’re well protected from stray infected but soon you will have aides, they’ll come at night, quiet and armed,” he explained, trying to help the man.

He knew that if he was living here with you, then he would be the same way. He wouldn’t let anyone give him advice on how to save the person that he loved or how to protect them the best.

"We'll be fine," Bill said, still stoic. He knew that one day they would need help but right now, he was too stubborn to admit that to the man he had just met.

You turned to look at the men, Joel walking over, "Thank you Bill, Frank,” you said, as smile on your face.

Bill gave you an attempt at a smile from where he stood in the distance and you nodded. You placed your hand on Joel’s shoulder and he looked down at you, a smile on your face as Frank opened the gate.

“See you soon Frank,” you said as the gate closed behind you, the two of you beginning the walk away.

As the two of you walked in your normal comfortable silence, you thought back to what Frank had said earlier about Joel loving you and as you looked up at this man who had been burnt and broken by every person he had ever loved before, you didn’t know what he was actually feeling.

“I was talking to Frank about you,” you said, breaking the silence.

He looked down at you and you looked up at him, trying to figure out what to say. There was no simple way to ask the man you had known for the last 15 years if he ever loved you or if he just saw you as that 20 year old college student who had come to babysit Sarah as a child still.

“What’d he say?” Joel questioned and you shrugged your shoulders, heart pounding in your chest.

“Not much, just that-” you stopped speaking, unsure of how to phrase it, “-that you seemed like a good man,”

You cursed yourself for not taking the opportunity to tell him about how you felt towards him. There was an air of tension now between you, or at least you thought there was, you could have just been making that up.

“And uh, he said that he thought you loved me,” the words just blurted out of your mouth before you could stop them.

Joel froze where he was standing and you looked back at him. You’d never seen his face look like that before, a mix between shocked and horrified, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

“Do you love me Joel?” You questioned, tears welling up in your eyes. You had never made yourself so vulnerable in front of any man before, you had always been too scared, “Because if you don’t then that’s okay, I didn’t expect you to ever feel the same way,”

He listened to you ramble on, heartbeat in his ears muffling your words. He couldn’t believe that you felt the same way towards him, that you didnt just see him as the broken shell of a man who always tried to protect those he loved.

The silence from him told you everything you needed to know and you tried to keep the tears from spilling over your cheeks. You had just bared your soul to that man and he had nothing to say back to you.

“Its okay that you don’t love me Joel, I was stupid to ever th-” you started to say, a single tear escaping your waterline. He cut you off when you tried to walk away, his hadn grabbing onto your wrist

“Look at me,” he said and you opened your eyes and looked at Joel, at the man who meant the world to you. With his hand still holding your wrist, he stepped closer to you so your noses were almost touching, “You’re not stupid, you’re right. I just can't say it out loud,”

You nodded your head, leaning in so that your noses bumped together, “I love you Joel Miller,” you said and he nodded, leaning in and kissing you for the first time on the lips.

He was experienced and when you pulled away for air, you jumped right back in, hands coming up to cradle his face to keep him as close as possible. You didn't want to ever let go of him now.

When he pulled away, forehead resting on yours, his breath heavy, he looked down at you, “I love you too,” he said, his words quiet as if he was afraid to say them out loud, “You’re mine,”

You nodded, pressing a soft kiss to his lips again, “I’m yours,” you reassured before reaching down and grabbing his hand, “And you’re mine,”

You wanted to relish in the moment but the sun was already starting to set and you two wanted to make it to the checkmark before the sun set, “We've got to go, and maybe we can really consummate our relationship back in the QZ,”

He chuckled at your words, his face heating up at the insinuation. He pressed a kiss to your knuckles, pulling your intertwined hands up to his lips, “You’d like that wouldn't you darling,” he joked

#joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #the last of us fandom #the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #mj writes nonsense

2K notes · View notes

cowgurrrl · 1 year

Text

NFWMB

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Summary: What was it Bill said about protecting the ones we love? [1.5k]

Author’s note: I can’t stop writing and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem

Warnings: canonical type violence, treatment of injuries, reader being a badass because I said so, pre-Ellie Bellie

He's limping when he walks through the door, his right foot dragging along his left as if it were a nuisance. You turn from where you're washing dishes to catch him trying right himself so he can pretend he's not hurt. The blood on his face and hands give him away more than anything else—anger and panic blossom in your chest as he looks at you with tired, regretful eyes.

"Sit." You say, jerking your head in the direction of the kitchen table. You dry your hands on a towel before pulling the first aid kit off the fridge.

"It's nothing."

"You're bleeding. Sit," you double down, and he sighs before finally settling into a chair. You soak a rag in alcohol as you walk over to him, standing between his legs to get a good view of the cuts on his face. All things considered, he's not in horrible shape. Bruised and bloody, sure, but alive. He hisses when the rag touches his split eyebrow, and his hand grips the table. His scabbed knuckles break open, only adding to his pain and dripping blood down his hands. You slide the alcohol over to him, and he quickly takes a big swig. "Who did this?"

"It was just a deal gone bad with a FEDRA officer." He says as he puts the bottle back down, the cut on his lip leaves blood on the rim of it. The idea of him getting beat down by FEDRA makes you want to scream. This is why you take someone with you on drops, you think.

"Who?"

"Stone." He finally gives you the name, and you give him a look.

"I told you to stop doing deals with him."

"I had it under control."

"Sure looks like it," you say, grabbing his hand to hold the rag to his face as you grab a butterfly bandage. "And where is Stone now?"

"In the hospital. 'M pretty sure I broke his nose," he says smugly, and you hum in acknowledgment. He falls quiet as you take the rag from him to stick the bandage to his eyebrow. A noise of protest rumbles in his throat at the pressure, but then it's over. "I give it a week before he's crawling back for pills."

"He can go through withdrawal for all I fucking care." You mutter under your breath as you put your hand on his jaw, turning his face this way and that to get a better look at his injuries. He turns and kisses the inner part of your wrist. You would've melted if you weren't so pissed at the bruises blooming on his face.

It's good that Stone is already in the hospital because otherwise, you would've marched out to find him. Joel may look scarier, but there's no limit to what you can do when rage pulses through your veins like this. He knows that. He's seen it happen a handful of times, and it's always right after he or Tess gets hurt on a drop. Something shifts within you, and suddenly there is no god out there more dangerous than you. Your enemies become less concerned about getting out alive and more about how fast you'll let them die. If Joel weren't so wrapped around your finger, he'd be terrified of you.

"I'm fine. I came back to you, didn't I?" He says, and you sigh. You step closer and kiss the top of his head, relishing in the feel of his curls brushing your face. His stained hands come up to rest on your waist, further grounding you in his presence. "I'll always come back to you. You don't need to worry about that, you hear me?"

"I hear you, and I love you," you say as you kiss him. He tastes like blood and whiskey. "Do you know when he'll get out of the hospital?"

"Probably by the end of the week." He says as you pull his hands from your waist to wipe the fresh blood from his knuckles. You press around for broken bones as you think about the best way to ruin Stone's life. Joel doesn't wrench his hands from you, so you take that as a good sign.

"What do you think his wife will say when I tell her about the other girls he’s fucking when he's supposed to be out on patrol?" You ask, and it's his turn to give you a disapproving look.

"Don't fuck with his family."

"He fucked with mine first." You snap, and he sighs. Big brown eyes bore into yours, but you're unflinching. A puff of air leaves his nose, and he smirks.

"Y'know, it's really not fair how hot you are when you're angry." The fire in your veins settles for just a moment, and you press your tongue into your cheek.

"Is that why you keep picking fights with FEDRA officers?" You tease as you throw the rag down on the table to squeeze your way up each of his arms, checking for broken bones.

"Somethin' like that," he shrugs as your hands fall to his ribs. “Are you tryin' to make a move on me? Because that'd just be inappropriate. I've just been beaten," He asks, and you laugh. He smiles at the sound and doesn't wince as you count each rib to ensure they're intact. He stands once you're satisfied that nothing's broken and snags his fingers through your belt loops to pull you flush against him. The world seems to still as his heart beats against yours, and your panic dies in your throat. He kisses you firmly like he's trying to prove how okay he is. Your hands thread through his hair, and he groans when you tug at his roots. The sound makes you dizzy, and you want to hear it again and again. "Don't tell his wife just yet. We'll need leverage over him in the future." He says against your lips, making you pull away. He looks defeated, and you squint at him.

"Were you trying to distract me so I would forget about Stone?"

"Was it working?"

"Miller," you scold. "So, you just want me to do nothing and let him get away with it?"

"That's not what I'm saying. We're gonna make him sweat. Tell him we haven't gotten any shipment in. Withdrawal makes him desperate, and once he's desperate enough, we give him half of what we normally do but charge him double. Make him rely on us more. We might even get some new guns out of it, but we can't do that if he's fuckin' dead." He explains, and you roll your eyes. He's right. You hate that he's right, but he is.

"Fine, but I swear to God, Joel, if he puts his hands on you again-"

"I will hand you the gun myself. Okay?" He asks, and you nod. "Good. Now, can we please talk about something else? I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"I was gonna make it all romantic, but that went to shit." He says as he lets go of you and reaches for his backpack. You watch as he rummages through his stuff until he pulls out a big brown bag and hands it to you. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion until you open it, and the sweet aroma of coffee smacks you in the face. There's so much of it. The bag has to be at least half a pound. You didn't even know that there was this much coffee left in the world, let alone that Joel would find a way to get some. You take one bean between your shaky fingers and dig a nail into it, grounds collecting under your nail.

"Holy shit, these are real," you breathe, and he nods. "What'd you trade for this?"

"You don't want to know."

"You can tell me if you whored yourself out for coffee beans. I would do the same thing." You say, and he laughs.

"I'll remember that for next time," He says, making you smile. You glance between the coffee beans and him and take a deep breath. Even though it's small and stupid and probably costs more than they're worth, the idea of Joel going out of his way simply so you two could share coffee in the mornings makes your heart swell. Twenty years ago, sitting on a porch somewhere and drinking it first thing in the morning may have been your norm, but it never meant as much as it does right now. You carefully put the bag on the table before wrapping him in a hug. "Was that a good surprise?" He asks softly, like he's afraid if he says it too loud, the world will crumble around us. You nod and kiss his shoulder.

"It's perfect. Thank you."

The beans will probably be gone by the end of the month, and it will probably be another two years before we get an opportunity to trade for them again, but this feeling in your chest will keep you warm for much longer than any cup of coffee could. It's almost enough to forget that the world is falling apart outside, and someone tried to take him away from you today. Almost.

Give me my last paragraph back or give me death

#joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us x reader #joel miller #joel miller fluff #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x female reader #joel miller drabble #joel miller fic #the last of us hbo #tlou fic #joel tlou #i wrote this for me but you can read it too i guess

990 notes · View notes

thelastofhyde · 1 year

Text

the likeability paradox. ( teaser )

this fic has now been posted, read here !

pairing. joel miller x fem!reader

synopsis. joel miller is not a man who strives to be liked, with a chip on his shoulder and a scowl on his face, until his world is flipped on its axis when the pretty young thing, with an irritatingly unwavering smile and the literal sun shinning out her ass, that lives under bill and frank's roof says those five damned words: i don't like you, joel.

warnings. enemies to lovers ig, slow burn (i have intentions to drag this out into several long oneshots that can be read separately), unrequited love (except you will never catch joel miller admitting he feels anything beyond grief, hunger and exhaustion), pining, sunshine!reader, grumpy!joel aka canon joel, kinda perv!joel (if you squint), implied queer!tess, undefined age gap (reader implied late-20s), canon violence, smut (oral- f receiving, fingering, praise, degradation, possessiveness, panty stealing, dirty talk, dubcon ig, hints at ass-play, discussions of a lacklustre sex-life pre-apocalypse). this is set prior to ellie!!

word count. 10k. ( predicted )

hyde’s input. was hoping to finish and post this today in celebration of pedge's bday, but uni assignments got in the way and here i am posting a teaser instead of the full fic :(

nsfw beneath the cut, 18+ only !! ( unedited )

his only saving grace is that he can't see you.

hearing your pretty whines, and hand-muffled moans, and heavy intakes of breath is enough to curse him for the rest of his waking days, condemned to wander the wastelands of earth knowing the noises you make on the brinks of pleasure, with a touch-starved man satiating his hunger for flesh and blood with the sugary sins of your soaked cunt.

burrowing deeper into you, his consciousness rips through the fog of his lust to curse out his perversions as the tip of his hooked nose bumps against the puckered entrance of your ass. it does nothing to stop him tearing his tongue away from your clit, flattened as he drags it over the expanse of your cunt, and over your taint and up the crack of your behind.

"n- ah," you can't deny him while sounding so eager for more, the tip of his tongue now circling your back entrance, mimicking the treatment previously given to your little pearl. "no, don't, not there."

next time, he thinks, we'll try that next time.

sights returned to his previous desires, he works to rip every sigh, and every whine, and every dirty little song you'll grace him with. the sound of whatever record tess has put on in the other room becomes a safety blanket, dousing you both in the warm protection of not being overheard.

and, then, he does it, he makes the ultimate mistake.

his eyes flicker to the left and he finds himself faced with the stove that sits within bill and frank's- and, by an extension he does not enjoy to remember, your- kitchen. there's little that's remarkable about the appliance, just your standard, everyday oven that he's sure you've spent countless hours cooking up those comforting meals he's come to anticipate each time tess tells him they're due a visit.

except, the oven door is made of glass.

glass which now paints the most pornographic masterpiece for no eyes but his own. you, with hands gripping the island's counter like your life depends on it, and the skirt of that goddamn dress he's envied all evening for the way it got to rest against the warmth of your thighs, and your head thrown back, curving your spine in a way that has him wondering about the other ways he'd be able to bend and break you beneath his touch. and then there's him, down on his knees like a devotee laying himself down to worship his goddess, face burrowed in the space between your legs, mouth devouring you from behind with the help of his hands, the same ones that had strangled a man less than a day before and reigned fire down on countless others for years, that now grip the meat of your thighs to pull you back onto him, fucking his tongue into your sopping heat.

the image will haunt him more than any man he's killed.

#joel miller smut #joel miller oneshot #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #pedro pascal smut

650 notes · View notes

toomanystoriessolittletime · 1 year

Text

Try

“Did I what?”

“Find someone who feels like home to you?”

“I thought I did,” you said.

“What happened?”

“You were with Tess,” you whispered, turning your head to look out of the window.

Pairing: Joel Miller x gn. reader

Wordcount: 1.2k

Rating: T

Warnings: contains spoiler for Episode 3 of The last of us!! hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of death, unrequired love (or is it?), feelings

follow @toomanystoriessolittletime-fics to get notified when new fics are posted

„It’s not your fault, “ you shook your head, sitting in the hallway across the bedroom door that was closed. The bedroom door that would forever stay closed.

“Stop,” you said, your voice hoarse.

“They… They wouldn’t…”

“Shut the fuck up Joel,” you looked up at him, your eyes cold.

“You never cared about them. You do not care about anything. So don’t start trying to lecture me what and what they wouldn’t have wanted.”

They were dead.

Bill and Frank were dead and you had left them for what? You should have stayed. You should have never left. You could have helped. You could have spent more time with them. You could have…

You felt him sit down next to you, his bones cracking. Any other time you would have made a joke about him getting old.

You had left with Joel and Tess almost three years ago.

You had left the only two people who had cared for you after you had lost everything because they had talked you into it. You should have seen it back then. Frank had been sick already, but they had reassured you that everything would be fine. That you had to learn and make your own contacts outside of what had become your home.

Bill had taken you in after he had found you hiding in a basement after the government had cleared out the town. You had been sixteen, your parents and family already dead the night the outbreak happened.

You were alone and scared. And Bill? Bill had made it his mission to protect you. To teach you everything he knew, not only about survival, but life.

And then Frank came along.

And unknowingly to both of them their relationship had given you something you had been sure had been lost after outbreak.

Hope.

Hope that at the end of the day, everything could be allright if you just allow yourself to let people in your life who loved you.

And when you met Joel you thought that maybe he could be that person for you.

You weren’t so sure now.

To be honest with yourself, you hadn’t been for a long time.

He had been with Tess but he also… hadn’t?

And now Tess was dead and he was stuck with you and Ellie. Before coming here your plan was to stay here. Joel seemed to be… happiest wasn’t the right word but…. Most content when he was alone. And you were tired of being alone with him.

He knew how you felt, he must have. Tess knew and she had warned you. Warned you that he had unlearned to let people in. To let himself care.

Yet you could see him care. Deep down you thought he cared too much and that was the real problem.

“You know that Bill gave me the whole you hurt them I kill you talk before you left with us?” Joel asked. You closed your eyes, a single tear running down your cheek.

“He said that you were one of the two best things in this world and that the responsibility to protect you was now on me or he would have my balls for breakfast.” Sounds like him.

“So that’s why you hate me? Because he made me your responsibility?” you asked.

“I don’t…. What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked. You turned your head towards him.

“It makes sense. You keeping me at arms length. Never talking more than two sentence to me.”

“I don’t ever say more than two sentences.”

You sat in silence as you looked at him before you turned your head back, looking at the closed bedroom door.

“You’re not blind. Or maybe you are I don’t know. I just know that… I can’t keep doing this. This… you are hurting me. And I know it’s not intentional. It's probabbly even better this way but I can't live like that. It’s just the way you are, but it’s sucking the life out of me.”

You sighed.

“You know why I went with you and Tess that day?”

“Because Bill told you to?”

You rolled your eyes.

“You of all people should know I never do anything I don’t want to.”

“So why?”

“Because I wanted what they had. I wanted someone to feel like home to me. I wanted someone who cared for me. I wanted to hope that there is more out there than death. And I couldn’t find it staying here.”

You closed your eyes.

“Did you?” he asked.

“Did I what?”

“Find someone who feels like home to you?”

“I thought I did,” you said.

“What happened?”

“You were with Tess,” you whispered, turning your head to look out of the window.

You heard the shower still run down the hall, Ellie probably using all the hot water, but you couldn’t be mad. You would do the same once the hot water tank filled. Maybe you could stay here alone after all. It was your home.

“Tess and I… it wasn’t like that,” he said after a while.

“She loved you, Joel,” you sighed.

“And look where that left her,” he sighed.

You kept looking outside.

“You know I love you right?” you asked.

“Yeah.”

You almost jumped when you felt his hand on top of yours and you turned your head to look at him. You could see the fight within him, his eyes holding so much hurt in them you felt like you could feel it.

“Everything I care about dies,” he said quietly. “Almost everyone I ever loved is dead. And I can’t…” he shook his head.

“I don’t know what I would do… I can’t lose you. I can’t,” he shook his head.

“You won’t,” you said softly. He let the side of his head fall against the wall, closing his eyes, his head tilted towards you. It was still a mystery to you how much and at the same time how little he had changed since meeting him for the first time. Carefully you brought your other hand up, your fingers brushing over his cheek, his eyes flipping open.

“Just try to let me in,” you murmured and he released a breath as you rested your hand on his cheek.

“I’m not sure I know how to anymore, but I wanna try,” he whispered.

“Hold me?” you whispered quietly. He looked at you for a long time before his hand left yours as he put his arm around you so you could rest your head on his shoulder.

You closed your eyes as you felt his lips kissing the top of your head.

“We have to go,” he said and you nodded.

“I know. Shower first though,” you mumbled and he chuckled.

But neither you nor him made any attempt to get up.

“Maybe… Maybe we can come back. One day. It’s home after all,” you looked up at Joel who looked into your eyes before he nodded.

But you wouldn’t be back.

Because it was Joel who became home.

#my fic #joel miller #joel miller x gn. reader #pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction

757 notes · View notes

psychedelic-ink · 1 year

Text

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳 𝑨𝑩𝑰𝑫𝑬

** gif by the amazing @inklore who made this for me, love u bby thank you so much!!!

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

genre: smut, hurt/comfort

word count: 3.5k

summary: a retelling of the third episode but with you in it. Starts with Ellie reading Bill's letter.

warnings: spoilers for episode three, oral (giving), shower sex, piv, lots of emotions, hugging joel because he needs it, soft!joel

a/n: i'm still fucking crying tbh

“August 29, 2023,”

“If you find this please do not come into the bedroom. We left the window open so the house wouldn't smell. It will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this Joel. Because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps hehehehehehe Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway, I never liked you. But still, it's like we're friends. Almost. And I respect you. So I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That’s why men like you and me are here, we have a job to do. And god help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep—”

Ellie’s voice trails off, making you look up from the corner of the wall your eyes were digging a hole in. She presses her lips together, eyes moving away from the heartbreaking letter. Joel’s eyes snap up, and without saying a word he snatches the letter from her hands and reads it for himself. You have the urge to come close and peer at the words as well, but you don’t dare. You zero in on his expression; the crease between his brows deepens, the corner of his lips pulling down. He swallows.

“Stay here,” he croaks, heading to the door.

It slams shut. Leaving you and Ellie inside, you turn to her, “What did it say?” you ask despite having a solid guess of what the answer might be.

Ellie doesn’t look up. Her stance is relaxed but the tension tolling over her shoulders is visible. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and answers, “Tess,” she says. “Bill was telling Joel to keep her safe,”

“Oh shit,” you whisper instinctively. Ellie nods.

“My thoughts exactly,”

You drop your bag, the sudden relief of it being gone making you feel lighter than ever. You know he’ll be mad if you try to talk about it. But you also don’t have it in you to leave him to wallow in his own self-pity. Joel is a protector. And from what you’ve heard, Bill was also one. Protector to protector. The message was abundantly clear and Joel had failed again and again. You hate to word it like that, but you know that’s what he’s thinking. He’s thinking about Sarah, about Tess. About Tommy who might be already dead. Now, he has to deal with you and Ellie. You, he found in Boston with Tess, covered in bruises and cuts, ration cards stolen and beaten to a pulp.

You turn to Ellie one last time, she’s already staring at you, it’s slightly unnerving. “Wait here, don’t touch anything that might kill you. Stock up,”

“Aye Aye Captain.”

And you leave.

The sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky. Your eyes lock onto Joel as soon as you step over the threshold; his back turned, letter in hand, shoulders slumped. He looks around the neighborhood, then back down to the letter. He repeats the motion a couple of times as if he can’t believe what’s happening around him. You follow the path his eyes draw, looking around and back at him. You wonder if this neighborhood is similar to the one he used to live in.

“Hey,” you finally call out, your voice sounding scratchy. Joel flinches, he crumples the piece of paper and stuffs it in his pocket. “Are you okay?”

“We need to get out of here,” he answers, fingers tightening around the key, he heads to the garage. You follow.

When the two of you are inside, you see his resolve finally starting to crack. He pops the hood open, looks inside, and slams it shut. Pressing his palms into the smooth surface, his head falls, body shaking with his every breath. Your steps are silent as you approach him, your eyes trail over the roundness of his shoulders, the dip of his shirt.

You bite down the inside of your cheek, not stopping until you feel a sharp sting. Holding your breath, you place a hand over his shoulder, gently squeezing.

He flinches, it’s the most minimal reaction, something you only felt because you were physically touching him. “Is this okay?” you ask.

Joel nods, his swallow audible. “Yeah, it’s fine,”

“Can I hug you?”

He tenses under your fingertips. You don’t make a move until you feel the small nod he makes. “Sure,” his voice cracks. “If you want to,”

Some part of you wants to ask ‘do you?’ but of course, you don’t. Of all the months you’ve known him, he’s never once verbally asked anyone for anything. If you give it, he’ll take it. Your hand smooths a path down his arm, the other rounding his waist. You take a deep breath as you press your forehead between his shoulder blades, you feel the steadiness of his heartbeat.

Joel is still tense but less than before. Your fingers curl around his wrist, and your other hand lays right above his heart, nails softly biting into the fabric of his shirt.

Much to your surprise, his hand covers your own, thick fingers lacing into yours. It gives you courage. It gives you hope. You press further into him, hug him with your entire body hoping that the warmth you provide is enough to soothe him, even for a second.

“Sorry,” he grunts out, squeezing your hand, he brings it to his lips. His mustache tickles your skin, and he eases his lips into you, something between a kiss and a press of skin. “I don’t know what to do. I’m so angry all the time, there’s a weight on my chest that never leaves. You understand?” you nod and he continues. “I’m not like Bill. Not in the way he thought that I was. I’ve always been afraid—Even after…”

You feel him shaking his head, and your grip around him tightens. You do understand. You’ve felt it too, but he made it easier, help you lift that weight despite not being a man of many words, his presence gave you strength.

You want to stay like this forever. Holding him, feeling him. He’s incredibly warm.

“I’m not strong enough,” he lastly says, whispering your name right after. “I can’t keep you or Ellie safe,”

You feel the brush of lips over your knuckles. He allows you to cradle his scruffy cheek. It feels like a dream almost, which makes you acutely aware of how much he must be hurting right now. Your heart breaks.

“You are,” you whisper, fingers moving along his beard. “We’re going to stock up, find Tommy, and get Ellie to the fireflies. Then we’re done. Maybe we can even come back here,”

He scoffs, “How are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“Hopeful,”

“It’s because I have you.”

You know he’s confused. You can feel it simmering under his skin, face heating up under your hand. He’s confused as to how something positive could be spurred from his existence. But it’s the truth. And he needs to hear it. He needs to know that it’s not only grief, and sadness, that follow his every footstep like a shadow. His strength gives those around him a chance to grow, a chance to be more human. Allowing them to live and relax while he carries the burden.

His methods might be brutal, and the words he says might cut deeper than a knife ever could, but it comes from a place of a twisted sense of love.

“We should head back inside,” he murmurs and pulls at your hand. “I’ll make the truck battery and we grab what we can while it charges,”

“Okay,” you take a step back, already feeling the ache of not feeling him against your person. “I’ll go check on Ellie.”

Joel doesn’t say a word, nor looks at you, he only nods.

You still can’t fucking believe it.

Hot fucking water.

You’re impatiently sitting in one of the guest bedrooms, Ellie is downstairs, already taken her shower and Joel is still inside, a soft slow of steam slithering its way out of the cracks of the door.

You sitting there and waiting for Joel to get out isn’t probably the most efficient thing to do but you can’t help it, you feel giddy. Your leg bobs up and down as you wait. The mere thought of having warm water rolling down your tattered skin makes your heart leap to your throat—

The running water stops and your eyes fly to the door. A couple of minutes later it opens. A wet, clothed, Joel makes his way through the steam. It looks mystical, almost.

He stops when he sees you.

“What are you doin’ here?”

“Waiting to use the shower,” you grin, not shying away from openly raking your eyes up and down his body. “Looking good, Miller,”

He rolls his eyes and pushes his hair back, your pussy bottoms out at the way his biceps bulge from underneath the flannel. “Well, I’m done now. Have fun,”

Joel moves towards the door and you jump up barely in time to catch his wrist. He raises an eyebrow, eyes dropping to meet yours. His skin is still damp, if you were a cat you’d be purring by now.

“Sit down,” you choke out. “I—fuck—This is hard. I want to—”

“Don’t hurt yourself tryin’ to come up with words,” he teases and you look at him completely flabbergasted. Joel Miller actually sounds amused. It’s a goddamn miracle. He twists his hand so it’s him holding you instead, locking the door, he moves towards the bed, urging you to follow him as if this was his idea from the get-go.

“What do you want?” he asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. You’re standing between his spread-out legs, a chill runs up your spine. He reaches out and touches your chin. “Tell me,”

Instead of telling, you slowly sink down to your knees, fingers moving to unbutton his jeans. He spreads his legs wider as you tug them down, you trail your fingers up his thighs, feeling the soft hairs tickling the pads of your fingers. Joel’s breath hitches, muscles tensing under your touch. He’s semi-hard when you take him into your mouth. His hips buck up as you swallow, swirling your tongue around the head.

He grows harder with every lick. Your chin strains as you attempt to swallow him whole. You manage to take only half of him, your eyes squeezing shut at the pressure. Pulling up, you gasp for air. You kiss the side and flatten your tongue against it. Joel cradles your head, thumbs drawing slow circles, he guides you back down to his cock, pushing you further down.

“That’s it,” he breathes out heavily. “Just a bit more, always so fuckin’ good to me,”

He forces your gaze up, and his cock twitches above your tongue. You whimper at the way he caresses your skin, so tender, so gentle. “You are too good to me,” he repeats his words from before. “I want you to know that. I ain’t the best with words but…yeah. I’ll try to make right by you,”

If it wasn’t for his cock in your mouth, you would’ve smiled. Your heart feels so full that it overflows, the muscles of your stomach taut as you sink down, taking him until you feel the soft curls against the base of your nose. Joel holds you there, flush against his pelvis, heavily breathing as you swallow around him again and again. Spit trails down the corner of your lips, nostrils flaring as it gets harder to breathe.

When he releases you, you pull away with a pop, your lungs burning at the sudden influx of oxygen. You wrap your fingers around the shaft and start stroking him, he moans loudly, hips thrusting into your hand.

“I want you to cum down my throat, Joel,” you purr. “Use me,”

And he does.

The more desperate he becomes, the more stifled his groans get. He thrusts into your mouth, the tip of his cock nudging the back of your throat. You can’t breathe, you can’t think. Joel fucks deeper into your mouth, balls heavy on your chin as his thrusts become shallow. Your eyes roll back, your consciousness teetering on the edge of blacking out completely.

With a moment of desperation, you cup your mound, rubbing at your clothed clit. The friction isn’t nearly enough and you let out a moan around his length, the reverberations making his hips stutter.

Joel spills down your throat with a grunt, he presses his molars together, rolling his hips into your mouth. You swallow greedily. He tastes bitter, but that doesn’t stop you from lifting yourself on your knees to push him deeper down. He hisses, cock pulsing between your lips.

“Jesus Christ,” he slurs, head falling back. “Jesus fuckin’ christ,”

He pulls you off with a sharp tug, looking down at you between heavy lids. “You good darlin’?”

You slowly nod, lips parting with a soft sigh. Your mind is in a deep haze of lust, your body aching to be touched, to be filled. You want to say something, anything, but you’re lost for words.

“Shit, alright come on— Up,” he grabs you by the arm, helping you to stand on your feet. You shoot him a confused look, which he answers promptly. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Is it alright if I help?”

It takes you a moment to understand the question and answer, “S-Sure.”

You stand in the bathroom naked with your arms crossed in front of your chest. Joel wraps his arms around you slowly, still hesitant to touch you. He rests his chin above your shoulder, his torso bare, you sigh blissfully at the skin-on-skin contact.

“What’s wrong?” he murmurs, moving his hand down your stomach. “I thought you were excited,”

“I am,” you shudder when he drags his nose up the column of your neck, his lips following the path back down.

“Do you want me to go?”

You shake your head, “No.”

He murmurs an ‘okay’ into your skin and gently nudges you forward so you get in. The tiles are cool and slippery. It feels absurd being in such a homey-feeling bathroom after so long. It smells like lavender.

You stand there, too stunned to move until Joel joins you. He stands behind you, leaning over, naked body pressing into yours, he turns on the faucet, playing with the degree of the water until it pours warm over your skin.

“How’s that?” he mutters.

“Good,” a giggle falls from your lips. “It feels so fucking good. Unbelievable,”

Joel starts washing your body, the touch of his hands has fear behind them. A fear that you might vanish at any second. His fingers trail over every inch of your skin, exploring every curve and valley. You close your eyes, relishing in the sensation of having him this close. He washes your hair, taking his time, massaging your scalp. He moves down to your back, running his hands over your spine, kneading out the tension from your muscles.

His hands move to your front, lingering over your breasts, sending shivers down your spine. He takes his time, leaving no spot untouched. The water cascades over your bodies, swallowing you and hiding you both from the tainted world outside. Wet lips trail the slope of your shoulders, fingers slipping between your folds. He drags them between your slit, circles your aching clit, and repeats. Your head falls over his shoulder, your soft moans drowned by the sound of water.

Joel holds your chin and turns you until you’re facing him, he closes the distance, molding his lips into yours. His wet tongue follows the seam of your lips and you open up for him, he moves his tongue over yours, licking the inside of your mouth. He swallows your moans and whines as you start to grind down against his palm.

His tongue presses deeper, and your legs tremble. He grinds the heel of his palm into the sensitive bundle of nerves, groaning into your mouth when slick gushes into his hand. His cock lays above the curve of your ass, hot and hard.

He grinds into you, his cock pressing insistently between your cheeks. His hands grab your hips, pulling you closer to him, and his mouth moves across your shoulder and neck. His lips find your ear.

“Is this okay?” he asks, his breath heavy and hot against your neck.

“It is. I want to feel you Joel, every inch of you,”

His hands reach up, cupping your breasts, massaging gently. His thumbs circle your nipples and they harden beneath his touch, your breath catching in your throat. You roll back into him, your body craving more of his touch— of him.

Joel’s hands move down your body, his fingers tracing every inch. “Turn around for me,”

You move without hesitation. He takes a step back, letting his hands trail over you. You take a step forward, closing the gap between you and he takes you in his arms, his mouth finding yours. His tongue slips between your lips and you moan into his mouth, lost in him.

You allow your own hands to explore his body as well. He’s firm, arms strong and thick, hips narrowing as your fingers trace a path down within the water droplets that cling to his skin.

Affectionately, you caress his stomach. You gently press the pads of your fingers into the soft flesh, loving the way his chest heaves.

The water continues to pour down, creating a soothing background noise. He pushes his cock between your legs, moving through the slickness and sending sparks of pleasure through your body.

You move together, bodies entwined and breaths mingling. He lets out a low moan as you press your hips against his. His hands move to your back, his fingers tracing the line of your spine. He pulls you closer, his lips claiming yours again and again and again— He moans as he fucks your thighs. The bulbous head of his cock catching against your clit, the corners of your vision fade to black. Your head buzzes.

Joel continues to roll and grind, cock slipping between your legs with ease. During it, he slips into you, stretching you enough that the pain easily bleeds into the pleasure. He holds you, cock twitching as your flutter around him. You’re dripping and making a mess of him, he feels it. You know that he does by the way he bites into your skin, his growl vibrating across your body.

“You’re so fuckin’ wet,” he says, licking the water off your skin. “Feels so good inside—Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good. I don’t think it’ll ever be enough,”

“S-Shit Joel,”

Your breath hitches in your throat, your hips meeting his with each thrust. He holds your gaze, fucking himself deeper, harder into you. Pleasure licks the bottom of your spine, heat rolling in your stomach. The water washes away the sweat but you still burn. Joel’s hand moves up to the back of your neck, his hand big enough to press his fingers into both sides of your throat.

You nearly go limp at his hold, knees bucking at the pressure. But you trust him, and you aren’t at all surprised when he keeps you up, pounding into you as his lips slither down your neck.

He moves his hand lower, skimming down your stomach and cupping your sex. His thumb circles your clit, and you gasp as wave after wave of pleasure wash over you.

You’re teetering on the edge, ready to come undone, when Joel suddenly pulls out. His fingers don’t stop, pinching your clit. You cry out his name as your orgasm rips through you, he holds you close as your body jolts. Your body is left confused, empty, yet still clenching as if Joel’s cock is still inside.

It’s so intense that tears roll down your cheeks, pleasure ripples over your skin, unfiltered whimpers falling from your lips. Your gaze drops to his cock, your eagerness to please loud in your mind. You notice that he’d already came, seed mixing with the water.

“I got you don’t worry,” he mutters, lips brushing your forehead. “You’re alright, you’re with me,”

You blink up, eyes finding Joel’s. A lazy smile spreads across your face, the water beating over your skin now cold. “Was that good?” you ask, kissing the bald spot on his chin.

“You know it was,” when you give him a knowing look, he sighs. “It was good, thank you, darlin’”

“I’m glad to hear that,” you grin, hands moving up his arms. “Now let’s get cleaned up one last time and get the hell out of here.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #hbo the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader

801 notes · View notes

and-claudia · 10 months

Text

Against All Odds pt.6 (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

Warnings: more angst

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

word count: 4000+ (sorry this one wasn't as long, this ep is more about Bill and Frank so there wasn't a whole lot to work with and I wasn't sure what to add either)

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

gif not mine

We walked along in a deafening silence for about two hours, no one daring to say anything. We stopped to eat, but none of us seemed to actually have an appetite. It wasn’t until after our short break that someone finally spoke up.

“So how much further do we have to go?” Ellie asked.

“We’ll try to go another hour then finish the trip tomorrow.” Joel said, throwing his bag over his shoulder.

“Get to the river and stay there for the night?” I asked and he only nodded.

He began walking without another word leaving me and Ellie to follow him. Once again, we were thrown into silence. We made it to a clearing beside the river as the sun began to set, making the shadows of the trees around cast us into darkness.

“We’ll stay here.” Joel declared.

“There’s no Infected here, is there?”

“No.” I tried to reassure the younger girl.

“Sometimes.” Joel said gruffly, contradicting what I had just told her.

“Rarely. Joel has only ever come across one way out here. We’re ten miles from the outskirts of the city. We will be safe, I promise. Joel and I will switch off keeping watch throughout the night.” I said.

“I’ll keep watch.” Joel said, leaning against a tree with his back to us.

I walked over to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “Joel, you need to get some rest. You stayed up last night on watch. I can help watch.”

“No, Tess and I kept watch.” He snapped as he corrected me.

I sighed, “Joel, I know you’re hurting, but please don’t take it out on me. I had nothing to do with that. I’m sorry, I really am but we need to keep going. That’s what she wanted.”

“You’ve realized when she got bitten, don’t you?” He asked, looking forward still.

“No…” I hadn’t really thought too much about it.

“I’ve been trying to figure it out this whole time and I think I got it. The only time it could have happened was in that damn museum. And it got me thinkin’... maybe if I wasn’t so focussed on protecting you, then maybe we wouldn’t have gotten separated. Maybe that clicker wouldn’t have gotten her.”

I dropped my hand, “You- You’re not seriously trying to blame me for Tess getting bitten? Are you?”

He didn’t answer my question just turned around and squatted down to get his canteen.

“I am going to go fill my canteen. You and Ellie should probably do so soon or you’ll have to wait until the morning.” He said as I stood there stunned.

After he walked off I walked over to where Ellie was sitting and sat down near her.

“Dude, are you okay?”

I only raised an eyebrow in response to her.

“You look pale… oh please tell me you’re not gonna hurl again.”

I shook my head.

“Wait, what were you two talking about?” She asked realizing this had something to do with the conversation I just had with Joel.

“He’s blaming me.” I said quietly.

“For?” She asked clearly confused.

“Tess.”

“How?! It’s not like you’re the Infected who bit her.”

I just shrugged.

“Do you need to refill your water or can you wait till morning?” I asked wanting to change the subject.

“I can wait.”

I nodded, “Get some rest, we’ll get you to Bill and Franks tomorrow.”

What I didn’t mention though was that I had just made the decision to stay with them as well and let Joel go back to Boston alone.

After a while of trying to find a semi-comfortable, or more so tolerable, position to sleep against the tree I was leaning against I fell asleep. Despite what he had said earlier I had set a two-hour timer on my watch and had gotten up when it started going off, ready to take over watching out for our little group. But when I offered, Joel gave no answer and after a few attempts, I just gave up and walked back over to my spot to go back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, it was just after dawn and Joel was nowhere to be seen. I panicked for a second thinking he just left us, but I knew he would never actually do that, no matter how pissed off he was with me. I figured he probably went off somewhere to go to the bathroom or something so I decided to be productive and go ahead and refill our waters down at the river. I grabbed all three of our canteens and began to walk down to where the water was deeper so I wouldn’t get dirt in them.

When I got there I was surprised to find Joel there. I didn’t say a word or get too close. My plan was to refill the waters and that is what I was going to do.

“You’re up early.” Joel commented upon seeing me.

I only hummed in response.

“Did morning sickness wake you up?” He asked.

“Nope. I feel fine, Joel. Just refilling the water.” I said, closing one of them and grabbing the next.

“Let me get the last one.” He said reaching for it.

“I got it. I don’t need your help.” I snapped.

“Is the girl awake?” He asked after sighing.

“Ellie,” I emphasized her name, “is still asleep.”

He just sighed again before standing up and walking back to where Ellie was at. I finished up filling the last of the canteens before collecting them all and heading back as well.

3rd person PoV

Joel got back to where Ellie was now sitting against a tree, awake. He didn’t say anything to her just went over to his bag to grab a small piece of jerky to eat before they left for Bill and Franks.

“Do you want your jacket back?” Ellie asked, Joel had given it to her to cover up last night.

He shook his “no” before tossing her the pouch of jerky for her to take a piece as well.

“It’s not her fault.” Ellie said after a few beats of silence.

Joel gave her a weird look.

“Yn, she told me you blamed her for what happened to Tess. You can’t blame her for that. I don’t what exactly you two have going on, but you need to figure it out, and that means you need to realize that she didn’t get Tess killed, I get that you’re hurt but you can’t let that keep you from what you know you gotta do. I mean come on, man she’s having a baby, don’t you want to be there for her? For your kid?”

“You’re right, you don’t know what we have goin’ on, so don’t pretend to.” Joel said as he threw his backpack onto his back.

By the time Yn got back the other two had already gotten ready to go.

Yn’s PoV

“You ready for a five-hour hike?” Ellie asked.

“I don’t exactly have a choice do I?” I joked as I handed her her water.

“Let’s get going.” Joel said, taking his from me as well.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Ellie finally broke the silence we had been walking in since we left.

“I thought you said there weren’t any infected out here?” She asked.

“Rarely, why?” I answered her.

“What is he looking out for then?” She asked, referring to Joel.

“People.” He answered for me.

“Oh,” The younger girl nodded, “Are Bill and Frank nice guys?”

I could tell she was just as tired of the silence as I was.

“Frank is.” Joel replied causing me to crack a small smile to myself.

“How’d you get that scar on your head?”

That question made me cringe as I waited to see what Joel would answer. But when he gave no response, Ellie decided to press the matter.

“What? Is it something lame? Did you like fall down the stairs or something?”

“I didn’t fall down any stairs.” Joel snapped.

But that didn’t stop Ellie, “Okay, so what then?... ew don’t tell me y’all were doing some weird sex thing and it went totally wrong.” She said, cringing.

“It wasn’t a sex thing.” I said to her.

“Okay, well if you won’t tell me, I’m sure I can get Yn to. She clearly knows.” Ellied said.

Joel sighed, “Fine, someone shot at me and missed.” He said, which wasn’t a total lie.

“See, that’s cool. You shoot back?” Ellie asked.

“Yeah.”

“You get him?”

“No, I missed too. It happens more often than you think.” Joel said.

At this point, I reached up and gently grabbed Ellie to pull her back in step with me so she wouldn’t ask any more about what had happened.

We continued to walk along the path until we came to an old convenient store gas station on the side of the road. I remembered the palace. It was used to stash supplies on runs.

“Wait here. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed.” Joel said, walking closer to the entrance.

Neither Ellie nor I listened and continued to follow him.

“Why do you have stuff stashed here?” Ellie asked Joel.

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions.” Joel grumbled.

“Yes, yes I do.” Ellied replied causing me to bite back a laugh, “But you didn’t answer the question.”

“We leave supplies on routes so if we’re running low on something, we can-” I began explaining but was cut off.

“No way!” The younger girl exclaimed.

I turned to see what has caught her eye. It was a Mortal Kombat arcade game.

“You ever play this one?” She asked as she messed around with joysticks and buttons on it.

“I never did, but my brothers would sometimes.” I said, stepping up beside her.

“I had a friend who knew everything about this game.” She said.

“Really?”

“Yeah! There’s this one character, Mileena, who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!” She exclaimed.

“Well, that’s a lovely mental image.” I teased before turning around to see what Joel was getting into.

“Do you remember where you put it last time?” I asked genuinely since he seemed a bit confused.

“Yes, give me a minute. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a while.” He said.

I putmy hands up in surrender.

“Well then while you zero in on it, Ellie and are gonna look around.” I said.

“It’s all been picked over already. You know that.” He said.

“You never know.” I said as me and Ellie began to look around.

We came up to an open doorway and she hesitated before looking up at me.

“You think there’s anything bad in there?” She asked.

“Not besides grumpy butt behind us.” I said referring to Joel and his attitude.

That made her laugh before she walked through. We walked into a smaller room that just had more debris on the ground. Ellie kicked a piece of cardboard out of the way to reveal a hatch on the ground. We both eyed each other before squatting down to open it.

We got it open but before we could investigate Joel was calling out to us.

“You two good?”

“Yeah!”

“We’re fine!”

We yelled back. Then we turned back to the opening we had just found. It was pitch black and we couldn’t see anything inside of it.

“How deep do you think it is?” She asked.

I shrugged before grabbing a piece of debris and dropping it in. It quickly hit the ground so it wasn’t too deep.

“I’m going to go down there.” Ellie said, already taking off her bag.

“No, you’re not. I’ll go. You stay here.”

“You have precious cargo. I’ll go. Look I’ll flip that trash can over and give myself an escape route.” She said.

“Joel is going to be pissed if I let you go.” I said.

“Then you didn’t let me. I bluntly ignored you and went anyways. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

Before I could react she had jumped down into the floor. It was only about a minute later I heard the gasps of an infected.

“Ellie, get out now.” I said quietly but loud enough for her to hear.

“It’s stuck. It’s fine.”

“I don’t care, get the fuck back up here.” I said sternly but she ignored me.

By the time I was able to stand up, drop my bag, get my gun ready, and jump down, Ellie was already crouching in front of it. Sure enough the infected was stuck under rubble. I watched as Ellie stabbed it in the head with her knife.

“Okay, if you’re done playing with that thing, can we go? Joel is going to freak if he finds out you got that close to one.” I said.

She sighed and stood up before walking back over to me. I could hear Joel calling our names as we climbed out using the trashcan. Ellie went first and just as I climbed out Joel stepped into the doorway of the small room.

“What the hell were you two doing down there?” He asked.

“Looking.” I said, before standing up and grabbing my bag.

“Picked over, my ass.” Ellie said as she stepped passed Joel, proudly showing off the box of tampons she had managed to find down there.

“You find the stash?” I asked.

He nodded, “Left the rifle there too. It’s almost out of ammo and I don’t think they’ll have any for it. Practically useless now.” He said.

I nodded.

Then without another word, he turned around to walk out. I followed behind him. Soon we were walking again. The silence took over.

There wasn’t really much to see this far from a QZ. It was now mainly just land. There was an occasional abandoned car or building but other than that it was just nature. It was nice to listen to, but it was also boring. The last time I had walked through here Joel and I were talking the whole time practically now he had barely said anything to me the whole time since we left the QZ.

Up ahead there was a pretty big hill, I remembered it from last time. There was a plane crashed on top of it. I didn’t particularly like looking at it. Although you couldn’t see anything, you just knew everyone died on that plane. It was eerie to see it.

“You ever fly in one of those?” Ellie asked.

“I never did, no.” I said.

“A few times.” Joel said.

“So lucky.” Ellie said in awe.

“Didn’t feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a little seat, pay $12 bucks for a sandwich.” He said.

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky.” Ellie said, cutting him off.

I had to admit that she was right. It was pretty cool. You never see planes like that flying around anywhere anymore.

“Yeah, well so did they.” Joel said, nodding to the crash, before truing and walking down the path.

“Way to be an ass about it.” I mumbled.

As we continued walking, Ellie continued to ask questions. I answered when I could and listened when Joel would speak.

“So, everything came crashing down in a single day?” The young girl asked.

“Pretty much.”

“Basically.”

Joel and I said at the same time.

“How? I mean no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And then all at once? How did it even start? You have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey.”

Her last comment made me laugh a little.

“It wasn’t a monkey. I thought you went to school.” Joel said

“FEDRA school. They don’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” She explained.

“To answer your question, no really knows. There are theories but no one knows with 100% certainty that it came from this or that.” I explained.

“The best guess is that the Cordyceps mutated,” Joel began, “Then some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal,... pancake mix…”

I caught the way his face dropped at the mention of that last one.

“You eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves, around the same time Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on… they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin’.”

“By that night, everything had fallen to shit.” I added as the memories came flooding back.

Joel nodded before continuing, “Friday night, September 26th, 2003. By Monday everything was gone.”

I wiped the few tears that had slipped out off my cheeks as we continued to walk.

“Makes a lot more sense than monkeys, I guess…” Ellied said, clearly unsure of what to say to all the information she just received.

We continued to walk and I knew what was coming up.

“We’ll cut across the woods here.” Joel said painting to the tree line.

“Why? Isn’t the road easier?” Ellied questioned.

“Yeah, it’s just… there’s stuff up there you shouldn’t see.” Joel said.

“Well, now I have to see.” She countered.

“I don’t want you to.”

“Too bad let’s go.” She said walking out ahead of us.

“Ellie!” Joel called to get her to stop.

“Joel, just let her. She’ll have to learn at some point.” I said gently grabbing his arm only for him to pull it away from me as he followed Ellie down the path.

She was a few yards ahead of us as we walked along quietly. I kept my eyes glued straight ahead not wanting to see what was coming up beside us.

“Well, whatever it is, I think it’s gone!” Ellied called back to us. She stopped short and turned to her side to see what was in the ditch there. The pit was filled with human bones. Ellie turned to us for answers.

“About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers went through the country sides, evacuated small towns. Told you you were goin’ to a QZ and you were… if there was room. If there wasn’t.”

This time I was the one to walk away without a word. I walked down the path trying to get away from the sight before us. Although I wasn’t from a super small town, my town wasn’t huge. I couldn’t help but think about if we hadn’t of ran that night would me and my family met the same fate as all of them.

The rest of the walk was spent lost in my own thoughts. Finally, what snapped me out of it was seeing the fence to Bill and Frank’s appear in the distance. I smiled knowing I would be able to sit down and rest my feet soon. When we got to the gate, Joel punched in the code and it unlocked for us. We walked down the road and up to their house. The first thing I noticed was the flowers out front were wilting, Frank would never let that happen.

It was quiet… too quiet. Joel called out both of their names but there was no reply. My heart began to race.

“Wait here Ellie.” I said as Joel and I both went to look for them.

As we walked around I knew what was going on. There was a thick layer of dust covering everything, food in the kitchen was rotting, their garden was being overrun with weeds.

“Joel…” I said, voice cracking.

He turned to me and shook his head, “No. They are here somewhere. Let’s just check their room.” He said, stepping away to try their bedroom door. It was locked.

“Joel… look around, they’re not here. They haven’t been for a while.” Saying it out loud made my heart break.

Before any of us could say anything we heard something at the front of the house. We both rushed up there to find Ellie sitting at a chair reading a letter.

“It’s from Bill.” She said, grabbing the envelope and reading off who it was addressed to, “To whomever… but probably Joel.”

Joel took the letter and scanned over it. I watched anxiously as Joel read the letter. His face was unreadable. He didn’t say a word when he was finished, he just held it out for me to take.

My eyes scanned over the words over and over as if they would somehow magically change. They didn’t. Bill and Frank were gone. I let that set in and read the rest of the letter. The was a “P.S.” at the very bottom.

“I know you know where the keys to my truck are. Take it.”

I laughed sadly as I read it causing Joel to give me a weird look.

“He wants us to take the truck.” I said showing him what I was talking about in the letter.

I saw the faintest of smiles appear on his face. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, and so was he. He turned on his heel and walked out of the house. I sighed and dropped my head.

“Hey, why don’t I walk you down to the old shops, there might be some salvageable clothes down there. We can grab some, bring them here, wash them, take a shower and get cleaned up before Joel and I figure out the next move.”

“Yeah, sure.” Ellie said.

“Alright, come on.” I said as I stood.

We walked out of the house and I could see Joel just standing at the edge of the yard, thinking. I let him be. He needed time to process, the least I could do was give that to him. It didn’t take long to get down there. Frank had fixed them up pretty damn well and there was actually a decent amount of stuff left behind. I told Ellie to pick out two sets of clothes to bring with us as I did the same. I tried to find leggings that would stretch hopefully once I began showing as well as shirts that would be big on me. Hopefully, we’d be done traveling before it got too bitter cold out. I also grabbed a handful of clothes for Joel to look through as well.

“You were gonna stay too, weren’t you?” Ellie asked, suddenly appearing beside me causing me to jump slightly.

I sighed, “Yeah. For the baby. It would’ve just been easier.” I admitted.

She nodded, “I think he’ll come around eventually.”

I gave her a grateful smile, “Are you ready to head back?” I asked.

“Almost, I wanted to show you something I found, just in case you wanted any of it. Come on.” She said, turning and walking away to a different area.

She led me over to a cardboard box. I gave her a weird look but opened it. Inside there little baby onesies. I felt my eyes begin to water a little. This was really happening, I was going to have a baby.

“Shit, you okay?” Ellie asked clearly worried she had done something to upset me.

“Yeah, I’m fine… it’s just kinda hitting me that I am having a baby… like there’s going to be a small human here in a few months… that’s insane.” I laughed, “You pick out 3, I’ll pick out 3, they’re small enough to fold down pretty small in my bag.” I said.

Ellie nodded excitedly. We both stuck to fairly neutral ones. Once we had those we gathered up everything and walked back to the house. When we got there Joel was sitting at the table, letter in one hand and a glass of some type of alcohol on the table beside him.

“What’s all that?” He asked upon seeing our small haul.

“Extra clothes. I am going to wash them, then I figured we could shower, regroup and figure out our game plan.” I said.

“Sure.” He gruffed, reaching for the glass.

“Let me go start these, then I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” I said to Ellie.

Once Ellie was in the shower I went back to where Joel was.

“I grabbed a few things that I thought might fit you as well.” I said as I took a seat beside him.

He nodded.

“What do we do with the kid now?” Joel asked.

“We take her with us.”

taglist: (if you filled out a form and aren't on this list that means either a) your blog is not coming up in the searches so I am unable to confirm that you are 18+, or b) you did not follow my rules for being tagged in this fic)

@sexyvixen7

@joelmillerslays

@elliaze

@little-lovely-darling

@swimmjacket

@watercolorskyy

@mserynlarsen

@sebby-staan

@beelanie

@fan-g0rl

@paige96

@pedropascalfanclub

@ameliadraws

@mavs101

@azerty29

@rileyferg

@belliedellie

@rhaenyrasgf

@imcreepininyourheartbabe

@nani-kenobi

@lunas-sstuff

@holb32

@reidsgubbler

@cleocat246

@novamidoriya

@katmae1997

@dizzywinterdaydream

@mrswidowjohansson

@abzidabzy

@givemeth

@morgaussy

@summerchicken

@kelh27

@ayamenimthiriel

@letmehavemyfictionalmen

@everything-isfucked

@emilyjustemily

@drewharrisonwriter

@littlwitchgoblin

@angel4astraea

@vodkawriter

@taz-97

#joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel tlou #joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller #hbo the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us #hbo tlou

179 notes · View notes

romanarose · 8 months

Text

Kiss It Better

Joel Miller x gn!pregnant!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

Summery: You catch Joel staring the scar on this forehead.

Warnings: Mention of suicide attempt and child death

short lil dabble from last minute inspo

*****************

Life was good these days. Tommy said he hadn't seen Joel this happy in 20 years; you had a good life together. You and Joel were happy together, you were parental figures to Ellie and now had a little one on the way. As a family, you frequently spent time with Tommy and Maria and their two kids; Tommy was a fun uncle, to be sure, always showing Ellie the new guns and gadgets he got or made. In fact, all of you were on your way over to their house for dinner now. Yeah, everything was good, you and Joel were happy.

Joel was in the bathroom washing hands before you head out, and you wabble over to the bathroom to ask him for a hand down the stairs. At 8 months, you were a little off balance and didn't want to risk a fall.

"Hey sweetie, can you-"

He tries to hide it but you saw him, leaned into the mirror and poking at his scar on his forehead.

"Oh, hey darl'n, you ready to head down?" Joel tried to act as if it hadn't happened.

"What were you doing, baby?"

Joel sighed, realizing he'd been caught. "Noth'n I was just... hope'n it'd faded way by now."

You feel your shoulders droop as your head leans over. "Sweetheart... It's been 20 years, don't think it's going to fade away any more."

"I know." He wouldn't look at you as he began cleaning up his beard trimmings.

Carefully, you approach him. “What are you worried about, Joel?"

He signs, fidgeting with the faucet. "The baby. I just don't know how I'm gonna explain something like that. Don't want 'em think'n I'm weak or can't protect them because of it."

No wonder he'd be acting strange. You take his hand and guide him to your bed so you can sit him down. Still holding his hand, you catch his sad eyes. "You got nothing to be ashamed of. You lost your daughter, baby. That's enough to make anyone want to end it, with or without the world ending around you. But you survived it, and you survived the next twenty year. You pulled together for your brother, for Ellie, for me-" You place his hand over your large stomach. "And you'll do it for the baby. Know why? Because you are a protector at heart. You are a protector, a provider, a good man, and the love of my life."

Joel nodded, but looked unconvinced. "With Ellie it was... different. She needed to hear it, to hear the real story... after everything she'd been through, you know? I just don't know how to talk about that sort of thing."

"You don't have to." You assure him. "We can just say someone shot and missed, I can talk to them if you'd like. It's your story to tell. We can only hope that baby never knows the loss that you, me and Ellie have... but we still live in this world gone mad. Whatever happens, they'll know how strong their parents are. They'll know they have a sister, and one in heaven. A sister their dad and uncle loved so dearly they did everything in their power to save her. They'll know how much their dad and uncle loved each other and how for years they were all they had. They'll know about Tess, Frank, Bill, Reilly, and everyone who made up a family when everything had fallen apart. And they'll know, more than anything," You bring his hardened, calloused hands up to your lips for a kiss, locking in with Joel's watery eyes. "That their family loves them, and will do everything to keep them safe and happy."

Joel closed his eyes tightly, attempted to hide back tears but one escaped. "Thank you baby, that means a lot." He wipes back the wetness with his flannel and stands, aiding you in rising. Joel doesn't let go, arms wrapped around you, and you kiss his temple right where his scar is.

"I love you, Joel Miller. Every part of you."

The moment was broken by Ellie yelling up the stairs that you two are taking too long and she was walking over to Tommy's. He was fixing up an old motorcycle and she wanted to learn.

You smile and laugh as the door opens and shuts, Joel carefully aiding you down the stairs.

Joel Miller loved you, he loved his brother, his sister in law, his daughter, his niece and nephew and he loved that little life growing inside you, and you knew he'd do whatever it took to protect the life he had now, including taking care of himself.

*****************

I don't write a whole lot of Joel here I know, but I do have some of him on my masterlist here, but if you like how I write Joel and you like dark fics, yo may like @romana-after-dark bc I got quite a bit of dark!Joel there, including a new Handmaid's Tale AU!

@fandxmslxt69 @k-ra @whatthefishh @campingwiththecharmings @ahookedheroespureheart @littlenosoul @runa-falls @stevenandmarcslove @scarletthefierce @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #fem reader #tlou hbo #joel tlou #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us hbo

116 notes · View notes

soulofapatrick · 1 year

Text

Revealing Secrets - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Y/N tells Joel and Ellie the truth about the cure, expecting a hideous fall out but Joel’s response is unexpected

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: Smut (p in v): fingering; lots of fluff; angst with Ellie

NOTES: Part 6 of Let Me Save You

Y/N’S POV

The food court area Maria’s made out of an old barn is warm and full of life, conversations floating around and the sound of laughter making the building brighter. There’s fairy lights strung up in the rafters, acting as lights and they just add to the homey feeling the building gives. Ellie’s sat between me and Joel, eating like she’s never eaten a proper meal which actually… thinking about it she probably hasn’t.

“There’s more if you need it.” Maria speaks up, amusement dancing across her face as she watches Ellie scarf down the food. Joel hasn’t noticed the closeness between her and Tommy, the way they’re sitting angled towards each other and I bet their feet are probably touching under the table.

“Thank you ma’am.” Joel’s tone is polite and nothing like what I’ve heard from him before. He may have used it once or twice when they first visited Bill and Frank but he’s usually a lot more roughly spoken, a scowl usually on his features, “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal. This is fucking amazing,” Ellie speaks around a mouthful of potatoes, sending Tommy and Maria a smile. It has me wanting to face palm as she’s so blunt and brash with her words, it’s very Joel-like. Joel’s cheeks heat up with embarrassment, glancing at Ellie with his eyebrows quirked before turning back to Maria and apologising for her. Ellie’s not listening to them, her eyes on a girl watching us from behind one of the wooden pillars. All I can do is watch the way Ellie’s clover eyes narrow, she swallows and is snapping, “What?” The girl’s face falls slack in shock and she’s scurrying out of the barn, daring a quick glance back at us before she’s gone.

“What is wrong with you?” I steel her with a stern look and she just rolls her eyes.

“She was just curious. Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.” Maria explains and Ellie’s nodding then snapping that she wants her gun back but Maria seems unfazed by her attitude, “They also aren’t armed.” Ellie just glares back at Maria, Joel catching my gaze over the kids head and I just shrug lightly as there’s nothing I can do to make Ellie behave. His eyes flick down to my lips before he’s turning back around.

“You know what? I think maybe ya’ll got a little off on the wrong foot.” Tommy’s shifting in his seat,“Well, we gotta be real careful about who we let in this place. But it’s all bark. We’re just trying to scare off those who might wanna try us is all.” He’s trying to keep the peace but it doesn’t work because Ellie is quick with a retort that has me smacking her shoulder.

“Well you got a couple of ninety-year-olds who shitting themselves out there. They say that you leave dead bodies around?” She snaps back, stabbing the last bits of food on her plate before glancing up at me, as if to gauge my reaction and see if she went too far. She did go to far and I should be telling her off for it except I’m also curious about what they say in return to it.

Maria replies, “Those are the people who tried us.” And Tommy is quick to add, “A bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad.” He seems to be the peace keeper of the two but my blood boils in my veins when Maria turns her attention to Joel, a look I know so well on her face. It’s not quite hatred but it’s the look most get when they hear about everything Joel’s had to do to survive the last 20 years. It makes me so fucking mad because it’s not like others haven’t done worse and Joel… he did a lot of it to protect me and Tess from others like Robert and the FEDRA soldiers who found amusement in raping and murdering anyone they could, the power going to their heads.

“Not always, at least.” Maria says, voice full of ice and my chair is scraping across the ground as I jump up, wanting to defend Joel but said man grabs my arm. His honey eyes full of guilt and pain but he’s shaking his head lightly, those eyes flickering down to where my pocketknife is in my hand. Oh. I slowly sit back down, still glaring at Maria and beginning to dislike her for her judgemental nature. I know you have to be ruthless in a world like this but she has no right to call Joel a bad person.

“Ma’am… we’re grateful for your hospitality and all. But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.” Joel’s voice is tight and his hand in mine behind Ellie’s chair tightens when Tommy takes Maria’s hand in his and tells Joel that Maria is family. I get it. Tommy went off the radio months ago, for us to find him with a wife and a life while Joel dragged himself across the country to find him and make sure he was safe. I rub my thumb across his knuckles as he stays there, stuck staring at their intertwined hands while Ellie sends them her congrats. The smile slipping off her face when she glances between me and Joel, noticing how angry we both her. I heard Tommy on the radio with Joel for months then he stopped responding to Joel’s prompts and I watched Joel tear himself apart, getting into fights and doing stupidly ridiculously smuggle runs despite my pleas for him to be careful. Tess and I could only sit back and watch, patching him up when he came home battered and broken. He broke down one night after coming back from a fight, head on my shoulder as I carded my fingers through those salt and pepper locks, his shoulders shaking and Tommy’s name falling from his lips in a broken sob. I want to punch Tommy there and then but we need a place to stay for the night and here is the best place,

“How ‘bout a tour.” Tommy stands up and I do the same, drawing Joel up with me. He keeps his hand in mine, pulling close to his side as Ellie and Maria follow us behind Tommy. The town is beautiful, especially decorated for Christmas. Joel’s tensing up at the sight of the giant Christmas tree in the town centre so I just squeeze his hand tighter, trying to ground him to the present before he goes down a downward spiral of Sarah. Tommy doesn’t seem to notice or if he does he ignores it, “I still got my 700, but I found a variable power scope. Sub MOA. Can headshot any infected from half a mile out.”

“Can you teach me how?” Ellie grins at him.

“No he cannot.” I interject before Tommy can reply and Tommy just sends her a sheepish shrug while Maria points to different buildings and explains what they are. There’s so much here for seven years worth of work: schools; places of worship; laundry; jail and they have hot water and electricity which I’m guessing is from the dam which is why they cornered us when we got too close to their source of all power. There’s a farm of sheep which has Ellie bounding ahead excitedly, making sheep sounds and giggling to herself.

“Everything you see in our town… greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership,” Maria tells us as we watch Ellie sprint over to the stables, eyes lighting up as she has always had a love of horses.

“So communism?” Joel finally speaks, glancing at Tommy with a satisfied smirk when he tries to explain it’s not communism but Maria cuts him off and says that it is communism. I have to bury my face in Joel’s shoulder to stifle my laugh as Joel had told me ages ago that Tommy was once in the military… fighting against communism. Seems Tommy has an awakening then as he just stares at us as Joel leads me after Ellie with a smirk gracing his face. I watch as Ellie pets the foal, cooing at the tiny animal and feeding it hay that’s fallen from the stable.

“Well I’ll take Y/N and Ellie to the house if you two wanna catch up.” Maria speaks and Ellie spins around, panic on her face at Joel telling Maria and Tommy that I stay with him. Ellie whispers our names but I tell her she’ll be okay and it seems to be enough as she nods once and doesn’t protest when Tommy leads me and Joel away.

“Joel. I need to talk to you about Ellie.” I say when we’re sat at the bar, a whiskey in the Miller brothers hands while I opted for something no alcoholic. Joel asked me if he could tell Tommy about Ellie and I agreed but he needs to know Ellie can’t go to the fireflies. He needs to know they plan on killing her to try and make a vaccine despite people even before the outbreak of the cordyceps saying a vaccine isn’t possible.

“So the kid?” Tommy asks, glancing between us and I just nudge Joel slightly.

“She’s immune.” Tommy straightens up, probably about to tell us that’s not a funny joke but Joel continues, “I saw her get bit and she didn’t get sick. We’re taking her to the Fireflies,” Something crosses Tommy’s face at that, having been part of the fireflies not too long ago. Oh. He must have heard the rumours, “They think she’s the answer to a cure.”

“She’s not.” My mouth feels dry as I speak before Tommy can respond to Joel and both of them are turning to me. I have to down my drink to even be able to try and speak again, confusion on Joel’s face, “I’ve seen the interviews from before the outbreak. A cure is not possible. The fireflies are too stubborn to understand this and if they were to try and take the mutation from Ellie…” I’m trailing off, rubbing the back of my neck and not meeting either of their eyes.

“Ellie has to die?” Joel’s voice is strained and I nod, feeling a lump swelling in my throat and my vision is blurring slightly, “How long has you known?”

“W-when we left.” My voice is barely a whisper and I expect the shattering of the glass from Joel. He’d be throwing the glass if we were back in the QZ, yelling about how I could be so stupid, letting me put us in so much danger and keeping such vital information from him but nothing like that happens. A gruff sigh is exhaled before the glass hits the table with force but then hands are yanking me from my stool and into his broad chest. Joel’s strong arms wrap around me and I slide my hands under the back of his shirt, burying my face in his chest and just breathing in everything Joel. The comforting smell of burnt coffee; woodsy musk and something citrusy has me dizzy with safety and want and… love? The soft press of his lips against my forehead has me whimpering out a soft, “Are you mad?”

“No, I just wish you had trusted me enough to tell me earlier,” He murmurs, no anger in his voice at all and his lips are ghosting over my forehead, “You mean everything to me, you can trust me.”

“I do trust you,” I pull back enough to see his face, features soft and open, leaning into my touch when I brush my knuckles over his cheek, honey eyes fluttering shut before I remember Tommy’s still here. He’s moved away from us to give us privacy but I can feel him watching, catching the smile as he cleans glasses, “I’ll leave you two to catch up. I should check and see if Ellie and Maria are being civil.”

“Yeah that’s a good idea.” He hums in agreement, sending a quick glance at Tommy who has his back to us suddenly and it’s enough for Joel to surge down, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. It draws a shocked gasp from me, not expecting the urgency, “I’ll find you.”

“I’ll talk to Ellie.”

“WHAT?! YOU KNEW?!” Ellie screams, tears glazing her clover eyes as she stands opposite me, chest heaving with anger.

“Ellie…” I reach for her but stop halfway, not wanting to push her, “I can’t watch you die.”

“That��s not your choice to make.”

“There’s proof a cure can’t be made Ellie!” I can’t keep my voice steady, hearing the door open and close below us, “I’m not going to let you die for nothing!”

“There’s proof?” She calms down a little.

“Yes. I asked Maria if she could find the tapes. Go find Maria. If you still want to go after… fine, we’ll take you but if not… there’s a place here for us.” I sigh and she nods once, shouldering past me and down the stairs, the front door slamming shut behind her and I just let my knees go. I’m crying, everything from the last few months crashing down on me like a tonne of bricks. Tess’ death, saying goodbye to Bill and Frank, watching Sam and Henry die and now this… Ellie walking away from me with anger and hatred.

“Hey, there you are sweet girl.” Joel’s surrounding me, arms around me and he’s pulling me into his chest. He doesn’t speak, just holds me and lets me cry, hands carding through my hair and lips ghosting over my cheek as I let everything out. The ache in my chest loosening with each passing second until I’m just curled in his lap, head on his shoulder and his lips peppering sweet kisses across my face before he’s kissing me properly. Lips meeting like old friends, soft and delicate, his large hands gripping my hips strong and tight as I’ll slip away, “Come on, they have hot water.”

I just let him guide me to my feet, leading me from Ellie’s room and down the corridor to the bathroom where towels, clothes and other necessities are ready waiting as if Joel knew it’s what I would need. He probably heard us yelling, knowing Ellie wouldn’t go quietly with the information and he was right. I watch as Joel turns the shower on before coming back to me, his fingertip ghosting down my sides until they’re fiddling with the hem of my shirt, honey eyes searching for consent which of course I’m going to give him. He’s slow and gentle with his movements, pulling the shirt over my head and making sure it doesn’t catch on my hair before hands move to my jeans. His eyes stay on mine the whole time he’s sliding them down my legs, taking my underwear with them so I’m just stood in front of him in my bra. His next moves surprise me, he’s pulling his shirt over his own head and shimmying his jeans down his thick thighs. His boxers slide down next, the air stolen from my lips as he’s huge and he’s not even erect. It has my thighs trembling slightly, trying hard to not imagining how he’d practically split me apart and how he seems the type to praise-

The rough pads of his fingers are fiddling with the clasp of my bra and I’m shivering when it falls to the floor, Joel’s hands in mine as he leads me into the shower. It’s sweet and soft, making sure the water isn’t too hot and that I’m comfortable with this. He doesn’t speak but shows me how much I truly mean to him with every gentle brush of the wash cloth against my skin or way he massages my scalp when washing my hair. Every brush elites a fire in my gut and I’m wanting him but I don’t want to misread anything and push him away so I take the first risk, leaning back against his chest. His arms instinctively wrap around my waist, lips on my shoulder and my hand is coming back to tangle in his hair and it’s like he understands what I want. His teeth nip at the sensitive skin on my neck, just below my jaw, while his right hand slides lower, fingers brushing over my clit. The hand in his hair tightening and a chuckles rumbles in his chest as he continues, sliding two fingers along my wet folds until he’s plunging one into my aching heat. A mewl is ripped from my throat, my back arching down into the intrusion and I’m guiding him into a messy kiss as he begins to move. It’s hot and passionate and everything I’ve always wanted in Joel, his teeth catching my bottom lip between his teeth when he adds a second finger and my thighs are trembling, the feeling of bliss coming closer and closer.

“I’ve got you sweet girl,” He murmurs against my cheek, nose brushing lightly over it as his fingers curl one final time, “That’s it, come on, let go.” I’m crying his name, pressing my ass against his twitching erection as I roll my hips down onto his fingers, my mind whiting out as it washes through me, “That’s it baby girl, I’m so proud of you.” He coos as my legs give way, his from grip on my waist holding me up as he pulls his fingers out. I think my eyes roll back into my head when he brings them up to his own lips and sucking them clean, honey eyes on me the whole time.

“J-Joel,” My voice is shaky, “Joel, I need you.”

“Fuck.” He groans into my neck before stepping away from me. He’s turning the shower off and leading me out, grabbing one of the towels and taking his time to dry me. He trails kisses after the towel, eyes darkening with want and love as I can’t keep the small sounds to myself. He haphazardly dries himself off before he’s gripping my hand and we’re practically stumbling into the bedroom opposite the bathroom.

I’m laying back on the bed, Joel climbing over me, glancing up at me as the swollen and weeping head brushes over my folds. He’s asking for permission even after I just told him I need him. Fuck, I love this man so fucking much. I’m wrapping my legs around his waist, pulling him inside and it tears a sound from me as he’s so big. It’s a beautiful pain, Joel drawing me into a kiss and my hands tugging at his salt and pepper locks while he wraps me up in his strong and safe arms. Joel had always seemed the type to have sex, not make love but the way he’s taking his time drawing long and deep strokes with his hips, the head catching that sweet spot with every in thrust has me realising otherwise. It’s slow and full of love, as if he’s trying to show me how much I mean to him and it just adds to everything.

“Joel,” His name is dragged from my lips when he sits back on his heels, arms wrapping around my thighs and pulling himself deeper and closer than I imagined possible, tip brushing my cervix as his thrusts are becoming erratic and he’s getting closer and closer, dragging me with him, my walls fluttering around him with every drag. It’s hot and that building of pleasure is right there, a hand finding Joel’s around my thighs as the other grips the sheets when he brings his other hand to rub circles into my clit. That’s all it takes for me to come, my back arching into him and walls clamping, trying to keep him pressed up against that sweet spot and he’s not far behind. A guttural moan ripped from him as he lurches forwards, capturing me into a kiss as he fills me up both of us laying there, panting and trying to regain some form of normalcy.

“You mean everything to me.” He’s murmuring, pulling out and flopping next to me, head turning to me. His honey eyes are full of sincerity, hair fluffed and messy against his forehead, softness taking years from his weather worn skin and all I can feel is one word… Love.

“I love you Joel.” It comes tumbling out before I can stop it and he stops. It’s a minute before he’s turning onto his side to face me properly, hand cupping my cheek and thumb rubbing over my cheekbone, eyes soft and they’re slightly glazed as if he’s going to cry.

“I’m not good for much you know,” He moves his thumb to my lips when go to retort that he is good, “But I want you love you and take care of you if you’ll let me. Ellie too.”

“I would love that.”

“I love you.”

---------

Chapter One ⇢ Save Who You Can Save

Chapter Two ⇢ Stitches

Chapter Three ⇢ Keep You Safe

Chapter Four ⇢ Escape Kansas City

Chapter Five ⇢ Finding Tommy

Chapter Six ⇢

Chapter Seven ⇢ Crossed Paths

Chapter Eight ⇢ Finding Family

Chapter Nine ⇢ Two Become One

Chapter Ten ⇢ Coming Soon

------------

TAGS: Tag List Form

@words-are-cheap @clover723 @a-psych0s-w0rld @sexyvixen7 @iraot @gemimawrites @pedropascalsrealhusband @twopercentmilk @amythenortherner @sxnshinebxcky @nelsoomon @urnewghostfriend @grooveandshit @reyas-world @canpillowscry @androgynoysgaz @outl4wage @ginger-swag-rapunzel @quinnverses @librafilms @leonkennedyslefthand @notsosecretspy @intergalacticspacemonkey @certifiedhunter @yourmommilf @mediocrewallflow3r

185 notes · View notes

okay-j-hannah · 1 year

Text

The Oak Tree

The Last of Us : Oneshot

Joel Miller x Reader

Word Count: 10120

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 3 😭 angry revenge, blood/violence with raiders, protective ‘who did this to you?’ Joel 🥰 18+ themes, smut, overstimulated, super sensitive, touch starved, unprotected pinv, and aftercare

I’m a massive fan of the video game and PEDRO has been on my mind for WEEKS {thanks TikTok edits} I’m obsessed with this man

Request: This just came from my own head 😊

A/N: Over the years of making trades, there’s only been one girl that Joel can’t seem to get out of his head

{2007 – four years into the infection}

Just outside of Lincoln was a reservoir, brimmed with reflective water. It was surrounded by oak and hardwood, a line of color differing in shades of green, orange, and red. Joel looked at the leaves rippling against the stagnant water, thinking to himself that’s quite the view.

Tess, as per usual, was able to say those things out loud, “It’s beautiful.”

He didn’t need to reply.

“The neighborhood is just over there,” she continued, hands wound about her backpack straps, “Third house on the left, near the book café.”

Coffee – thought Joel – what he’d give for a black coffee right then.

“I bet she has coffee,” Tess said, speaking for him again. “She probably has that café up and running.”

It was too casual, too normal, to have a life outside of a QZ. The idea someone was living off the land after four years of a fungal apocalypse didn’t sound right. Something would have happened by now – raiders, a hoard of infected, accident with a gun.

“I still don’t like it,” Joel grumbled, following the colorful leaf strewn trail. People just didn’t survive out there on their own. It was unheard of. They always met a tragic end sooner or later.

“You don’t have to like it,” Tess bit back, “But we have a potential customer and I’m not going to pass up on that just because of a feeling you have.”

Joel gave a gruff sound in reply.

“If Frank says she’s okay then I trust her.”

If Frank said the sky was green and the grass was blue she would’ve believed him. They were thick as thieves.

“Maybe we’ll make a friend.”

“Maybe we should stop answering radio calls from Lincoln,” Joel said.

Tess scoffed, “But then we wouldn’t see Bill and Frank again.”

Joel didn’t say anything, holding back the words that he knew Tess could already guess. She spun around, pausing their walk with a stern look on her face.

“If you need to see this as a business meeting, fine – we’re out here trying to get the best trade. But I am going to meet a friend of a friend. And you will act cordial because as much as you can’t stand the thought of getting to know people past the stage of ‘get out of my fucking way,’ I want to.” She gave him a hard stare, “There’s nothing wrong with attempting something normal.”

Like inviting friends out to coffee.

Joel refrained a sigh, staring Tess down with a look of understanding. He only gave a curt nod in return.

When she was satisfied he wasn’t going to object further, she continued on the path. They passed the reservoir and were met with a crossroads, one direction leading towards a historic looking town.

It was small and safeguarded by mighty oak trees keeping watch. It looked like a quaint place people moved to in search of a quiet retirement. There were only a couple shops, a little food market, and half a dozen houses.

“There are more neighborhoods towards the west,” Tess remarked, “Bill and Frank live that way.”

Joel surveyed the area, used to the routine of searching for potential threats. Nearing the fence line, he put his palm against the heel of a gun.

In similar fashion to Bill and Frank’s, an electric fence encompassed the first three houses, the café, and an electronics store. He knew this girl accepted a lot of help from her neighbors, at least after Frank moved in. No doubt there were a number of complicated traps rigged everywhere outside the fence line.

“She knows we’re coming?”

Tess neared the fence gate, “Yeah, she said she’ll be on the lookout and… oh, there she is.”

Coming out of the first house was a woman, younger than him by some years but that wasn’t the first thing Joel noticed about her. He noticed the bright beaming smile on her face – open and welcoming.

“Hi there!” she called out, walking with quick steps, “Tess?”

“(Y/N)?” Tess asked in return.

“In the flesh,” the woman said, still smiling that wide smile, “It’s nice to put a face to the radio voice.”

Tess started smiling too, “I agree. Frank speaks very highly of you.”

“Oh he’s just a chatterbox,” (Y/N) laughed, pressing a few numbers into a keypad and unlocking the gate. “But I love him for it.” She opened the gate with a squeaky clang of the chain link fence.

“Thank you,” Tess said, gesturing behind her as she walked through, “This is my partner Joel.”

“Partner,” (Y/N) beamed, “Nice to meet you.”

Joel had to tear his eyes away from the grinning lower half of her face to meet her gaze. He could only nod.

“That’s how he says hi,” Tess sighed, “Not much of a people person.”

“I don’t blame him,” (Y/N) continued, “Not with how things are these days.”

Unfocused on her smile, Joel now scanned the rest of her. Her hair was clean, her clothes untorn, there was even a smell of flowers about her. She didn’t look like someone surviving an apocalypse. She looked like how the world used to be.

And it put a strange feeling in Joel’s gut.

“I’ll give you the tour,” (Y/N) said, “And then we can talk over dinner.”

“We’re not staying,” Joel said immediately.

Tess gave him a glare that said: don’t be rude. “We shouldn’t stay when it’ll be dark soon.”

“You’re welcome to spend the night,” (Y/N) said, eyes fixed on Joel’s hard gaze, more apprehensive than hurt at his unwillingness to spend any more time there than he had to. “I have a guest house prepared.”

“A guest house?” Tess couldn’t hold in her laugh, “How much do you rent for?”

(Y/N) was smiling again, “We can discuss the details over roast and potatoes.”

Joel’s stomach made the infuriating decision to growl just then.

“I’ll make the tour quick,” (Y/N) flickered amused eyes towards him.

He set his jaw, choosing to look anywhere but the two girls trying to contain their laughs.

“This is my lookout base,” (Y/N) gestured to the first house she just came out of. “It has a nice view of the surrounding area from each window. I’ll spend time up there looking for any incoming infected. It’s how I get my target practice.”

Joel peered into the open windows of the house and found a rifle fitted with a scope leaning against the sill.

They walked down the center street, (Y/N) talking along the way, “The second house is for guests and has a lot of my food storage and extra supplies hidden beneath the floors. This third house is my own.”

She gestured to the one with a large front porch and a flourishing front garden. Snug between the two houses was a roaming chicken coop and another pen right behind it.

“What’s behind the chickens?” Tess asked.

“Rabbits,” (Y/N) said, “I trade them for supplies at Bill’s.”

“Have they ever stayed at your guest house?”

“A few times,” (Y/N) smiled proudly, “Five star reviews.”

They continued towards the center of her little town. The ground was dug up all around the cobblestone street, housing planter boxes and freshly tilled earth.

“Here’s my garden,” she said, “Mostly root vegetables but I’ve been searching for some summer berries or vine plants. Tomatoes and peppers maybe.”

“We could help with that,” Tess mused, “We know where to find seeds.”

(Y/N) beamed again, “Right ahead is the café. I’ve got coffee beans coming out of my ears in that place. And I’ve been using it as my library too – the perfect place to take a load off.”

That feeling in Joel’s gut was persistent and it was making him uncomfortable now.

“And that is an electronics store,” (Y/N) pointed to the last building within her fenced in town. “It’s where I use my radio and keep stock of my power and water.”

Tess turned full circle, nodding her head like she was impressed, “And that over there?” She gestured towards the fence line where large heavy bricks were piled.

“Oh that’s my ongoing project to keep this place more secure,” (Y/N) sighed, “Along with the electric fence I figured I could add another layer of defense. A brick wall would keep people from being able to peer in.”

“That’s going to take a lot of supplies.”

She nodded, hands in her pockets, “I’ve been disassembling a brick house down the road – it got hit with a car. But I’m running low on cement mix.”

Tess chewed her lip in thought, “I think we could manage that.”

Joel kept his eyes on (Y/N), anywhere but her face. She talked like she hadn’t seen real shit yet. She smiled like life wasn’t hard. She looked clean and unnaturally content for the world they lived in.

The nagging, uncomfortable feeling was urgent. It pushed him to ask, “Are you here alone?”

She looked to him with that sudden air of apprehension, “Yes.”

He shook his head towards the ground, “That’s not smart.”

“I have Bill and Frank,” she said, that smile gone with the first word out of his mouth. “And I’m well prepared.”

“You’re one person sitting on a pot of gold,” Joel said lowly.

“I’ve lasted this long,” she said just as quietly.

It was making him mad, “Don’t be stupid.”

“Joel,” Tess said warningly, “We are guests here.”

“I’m just being honest,” he said, “I’ve seen too many good people get killed because of their good intentions. Pretty soon there will only be assholes and killers left.”

There was a pause where (Y/N) stared him down with an edge of fear. It made her look like a rabbit about to dart away and hide.

“And which are you,” she asked quietly, “An asshole or a killer?”

Joel met her gaze with a sizzle of electricity. He thought she was good – it put a fire in her chest, a want to prove herself capable of being good and a survivor. The defiant look on her face only made his uneasy feeling flare tenfold.

She wasn’t safe. She needed someone to protect her.

“We’re both assholes,” Tess stepped in, “That’s what makes us so great at negotiating trades.”

(Y/N) turned her body towards Tess, burned by Joel’s words, “I could use more assholes on my side.” She refused to look at Joel, “Maybe one will end up staying.”

Tess laughed, brushing over the tension that had settled between them, “Sounds like you’ve heard Frank tell their love story one too many times.”

“He says I just need to find my Bill,” she laughed along, walking them back towards her house, “I guess I just need to find an asshole.” She peered over her shoulder to give Joel a raised eyebrow.

He couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped him, still upset and burning with the desire to argue his point further. Maybe he was more upset with the fact that he’d fixated on her need for a protector.

He didn’t need another person to worry about, not when he already had Tess and Tommy. Adding to that list meant adding to the grief he’d endure if he failed to save them.

It was good she was apprehensive of him. It was good there was an edge of fear when she looked at him. He couldn’t get attached.

“That smells amazing,” Tess breathed, entering the house, “Where did you get a roast?”

“Bill,” (Y/N) said, going to the kitchen to check on the slow cooker, “He carved up a cow near a cattle range a few miles away. I traded some sheets, vegetables, and coffee beans for it.”

Joel leaned against the entryway. Better be worth it – he thought – trading supplies for one measly roast.

“I understand if you have to leave,” (Y/N) continued, “But my home is open to you. You’re welcome to stay for some food and rest.”

“You’ll accept us into your trades, then?” Tess asked. “I thought we made a pretty lousy first impression.”

(Y/N) smiled, “Better than you think.” She didn’t look towards Joel. “I know we just met…”

Joel made a gruff sound that seemed close to a laugh.

Still (Y/N) didn’t acknowledge him, “But I trust Bill’s judge of character. If he’s willing to work with you then I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

“We’ll work up a supply list,” Tess nodded, “And in the meantime I say we set the table.”

“Tess…” Joel said warningly, “We should…”

“Get the plates,” Tess cut in, “I’m starving.”

~~~

{2007 – 3 months later}

The leaves were still crisp and golden along the road to (Y/N)’s town. It was later in the day, much later than Joel would’ve liked, but Tess knew there’d be an invitation to stay the night.

And as much as Joel hated to admit it, a hot shower and a clean bed sounded like heaven. His back was aching with the weight of their trade. Sweat dotted his temples and the falling light made him squint his eyes.

“Fuck, I hope she cooked,” Tess groaned, “That hike felt way longer with full packs.”

Joel wiped his brow, “I told you we should’ve started with seeds.”

“She needs the cement more,” Tess said, “And we’ll get more in return for the mix.”

The town was coming into their sights and Joel was surprised to see the progress made on the perimeter.

The brick wall was finished along one side and barbed wire extended between the electric fence and the wall. Bill had to have shared his high tinsel wire because the fence was reinforced and surrounded by new traps.

They could hear the electric hum of the fence as they neared the front gate. The keypad housed a buzzer to signal (Y/N) of incoming guests, which Tess pressed.

She gave Joel a look and suppressed a smile.

“What?” he asked.

She shrugged, “Still don’t like it?”

He squinted through the fence at the town within, “Don’t be surprised if she’s gone.”

“We talked to her two days ago,” Tess said, “And I think we would’ve seen evidence of raiders if they came through here.”

Joel still sighed his inner turmoil as (Y/N) came out from where the chicken coop was hidden. She smiled that beaming smile and waved at them with garden gloves in hand.

“Long time no see,” she said, “How was the trip?”

Both Tess and Joel hesitated at seeing her limp towards them, a bandage clearly wrapped around her lower leg.

“Long,” Tess finally replied, waiting for the gate to open, “What happened there?” She gestured towards (Y/N)’s leg, unwinding her hands from her backpack to have easy access to grabbing a weapon.

Joel was stiff, a few fingers grazing the gun secured in his pocket.

(Y/N) seemed unphased, waving them off, “I fell while collecting more bricks from the broken house. I got a bad scrape but nothing terrible.” She opened the gate and finally sensed the tension, “Why?”

Tess eyed Joel before muttering, “Show us.”

“Excuse me?” (Y/N) asked.

“We just want to be sure,” Tess said, “We don’t want to be locked in with a biter tonight.”

(Y/N) scoffed, raising her eyebrows, “Um… yeah, sure.” She knelt to one knee with a wince and rolled her pant leg. Blood had seeped through the bandage and made a terrible sound as she peeled it away from her wound.

It was still fresh and speckled with new blood from being torn open again, but it was obviously a scrape and not a bite.

“Satisfied?” she asked, grimacing at the wound, “I’m in need of a clean bandage.”

“Can you blame us?” Tess said, relaxing her shoulders, “We had to be sure.”

“I would think one infected was nothing for you two,” she jested, stumbling to her feet and meeting Joel’s eyes, “I promise it’s nothing.”

Joel didn’t apologize, still touching the handle of his gun.

“You must be tired,” she continued, “I can show you your rooms.” She limped towards the guest house, balling the used bandage in her hands.

Tess followed, Joel left to secure the gate. He grinded his teeth as he fought the sudden urge to lecture (Y/N) about being safe. He had hoped the strange protective feeling of months before would’ve faded. But seeing her again ignited that furious part of him.

“I’ve cleaned your sheets,” (Y/N) said, entering the house and turning for the kitchen, “And there’s extra clothes in the closets.”

“That’s generous of you,” Tess said, “You mind if I shower first?”

Joel shook his head and (Y/N) called out, “No, there should be plenty of hot water for you.”

Tess nodded to her partner and climbed the stairs. Joel listened to her steps, debating on what to do next. He slung the backpack off his shoulders and felt instant relief. A shiver went down his spine as the sweat of his back cooled against the air.

A thud sounded in the kitchen and (Y/N) muttered, “Shit.”

Instinct told Joel to run towards her voice, but he held himself back as he walked into the kitchen.

(Y/N) was leaning against the counter, a stepstool overturned next to her feet. The cabinet above her was open and full of what appeared to be first aid.

Joel put two and two together, choosing not to say anything as he walked all the way over to her. He reached out easily and searched for a bandage and maybe an antibiotic.

(Y/N) inched away, suddenly overwhelmed by his body nearly pressing into hers. “I slipped,” she said quietly.

He didn’t respond, rummaging the top shelf and finding a roll of cloth.

“There’s some medicine up there too,” she muttered, “Next to the hydrogen peroxide bottle.”

Joel found it, placing the supplies on the counter and closing the cabinet.

“Thank you,” she said, waiting for him to move before claiming the first aid. She limped to the dining table, bending over to examine her leg, “I’m making chicken for dinner,” she said, wondering why he was still there, “It should be done soon.”

He leaned against the wall and folded his arms, watching her rub ointment onto the scrape.

“Did you run into anything on your way here?”

He was quiet, standing there with a hard look on his face. His lips were pursed as he contemplated her words.

“You know,” she said, unraveling the roll of cloth, “I’m pretty sure a conversation involves two people talking.”

Joel refrained a sigh, only tilting his head slightly down in her direction. Why he didn’t just go to his room, he didn’t know. The frustration building inside of him was undeniable as he watched her attempt to use the bandage.

“You’re putting it on crooked.”

She lifted her head, “What?”

He grumbled and pushed himself off the wall. He went to kneel in front of her, taking the bandage from her hands and beginning to wrap it around her leg.

She stared at him wide eyed, her mind going blank as he handled her leg. He was surprisingly soft with her, holding her with gentle hands that she didn’t expect. His hair was a soft brown, curled at the edges with the last remnants of sweat. With him bowed before her, she could spy from above easily.

He was warm and toasted from the setting sun, hands still rough and dirty with his travels. He seemed to realize it too as he held her soap scrubbed skin. The flowery smell he found on her months before was overwhelming now. He identified the sweet smell on her skin.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

The frustration licked his ribs. “Don’t thank me,” he said, “What you’re doing here is going to get you killed.”

She stiffened under his touch, that edge of fear creeping into her vision. “Joel…”

“No,” he said lowly, “What would’ve happened if you got hurt worse than this? There’s no one here to help you.”

“I have…”

“If you say Bill and Frank I swear to god I’ll break this chair.”

(Y/N) clamped her mouth shut, terrified of the sudden anger laced between his words.

“It’s a miracle you’ve lasted this long,” he muttered, “That luck is going to run out eventually.” He tied off the bandage, “And when it does, who will be here to bury you?”

She gulped, voice shaky when she asked, “Why are you so upset? Me being dead just means one less client on your list.”

Joel stood sharply, “It means one less decent person in this fucked up world.” His eyes bored into hers, “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” she challenged, but her voice was still so small.

“Don’t you understand what’s out there?” Joel said, that anger fueling his tongue. “There are people that thrive in this end of the world shit. They won’t hesitate to burn this place down and skin you alive for all its worth.”

“So I’ll build up my defenses,” (Y/N) said louder than before, “I’ll set a wider perimeter.”

“They’ll work around it,” Joel ground out, “They’ll find a way when you least expect it.”

She stood from her chair, supported by her good leg, “Don’t underestimate what I can do. I’m not helpless out here.”

“But you are alone,” Joel growled, “Alone and cushioned with your electric fences and hot water and three meals a day. There are people that would kill for that!”

“Are you offering a solution?” she said with more vigor, “Or are you just going to keep telling me what a naïve imbecile I am?”

He fisted his hands, “I’m telling you to get out of here before you get seriously hurt.”

“Why do you care so much?” She breathed heavy, her fear ebbing into apprehension again.

Joel set his jaw, staring at her for a tense few seconds before storming out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room, the sound of Tess still in the shower above.

He had to physically stop himself from slamming the door as he went for the bathroom. He turned the sink on roughly and splashed himself with cool water.

He was doing it again. He was already getting attached.

She wasn’t his problem – wasn’t his responsibility – she was just another trade route outside Boston. It was the mantra he said to himself throughout the rest of the night.

But not before taking a lukewarm shower to calm down.

In the morning he sat on the edge of the bed with a dull ache in his head. He had a strange dream about (Y/N). It was short lived but left him with a race in his chest. He prayed that it didn’t happen again.

Tess was trading the cement mix with a number of (Y/N)’s storage items downstairs, so Joel figured he’d sneak into the café to get some coffee.

He could smell the bitter roasted beans from outside the shop door and his nerves gave a leap of joy at the thought of straight hot caffeine. He entered the café with his nose in the air and his throat thirsting for a drink.

It was a terrible surprise to see that the fresh pot of coffee came along with (Y/N) behind the counter.

Her eyes met his for a fraction of a second, turning away quickly to put away a sack of beans. Joel stood awkwardly at the door, already preparing to extinguish whatever frustrating protective feelings developed.

“Good morning,” she whispered, pouring a cup of coffee.

Joel eyed the steam curling lazily into the air and he convinced himself it was the coffee that made him stay – not because he wanted to see her beaming smile again.

He gave a gruff reply as he walked over to the counter.

She gave him the cup, “Coffee, black.”

It was too good to resist. He sat down and slid the cup towards himself, “Thank you,” he muttered.

The first sip was the richest, god he hadn’t had coffee in so long. It warmed his stomach, easing the knots in his hunched shoulders.

It’s satisfying taste provoked him to add, “How’s your leg?”

She froze against the counter, trailing her fingers along the edge, “It’s fine.”

He nodded to himself, “Good.”

She laughed under her breath, “Good,” she repeated, walking towards the other side of the shop. There she eased herself into an armchair, propping her leg on an ottoman.

Joel peered over his shoulder and saw with a raised brow, half a dozen bookshelves, each laden with more books than he cared to see in a lifetime.

He sipped his coffee again, eyeing her as she selected a book from a pile beside her. Of course she had a book collection.

“We’ll be heading out in about an hour.”

She nodded, now absorbed in her book, “See you later, asshole.”

He jerked his head around to catch her in the insult, but she was smiling softly behind her pages.

~~~

{2009 – 18 months later}

“You’re such a hypocrite!”

(Y/N) threw a coffee mug at him, successfully smashing it against the wall beside his head. He dodged the flying shards of ceramic, fuming at her accusation.

“Are you insane?”

“You have no right to lecture me about my safety when you came here alone. Isn’t that the one thing you can’t stand about me living here?”

“Tess is staying with Bill and Frank an extra day!” Joel explained, “She’ll be here tomorrow.”

(Y/N) scoffed, shoving against the café door and stomping down the center street. “Why can’t you just leave it be?”

Joel was hot on her heels, “Because I know what’s out there.”

“I’m sick of that excuse, Joel.” She rounded on him, standing in the middle of the garden, “It can’t be the only reason you’re stuck on this argument.” Her hands on her hips, she squared up to him, “I’ve proven myself for nearly two years.”

He clenched his jaw, a twitch in his cheek, “Don’t…”

She grimaced, so frustrated she was nearly disgusted by his retorts. “You make me so angry sometimes.”

In a rush of aggression, Joel grabbed her by the arms, on the verge of shaking some sense into her, “(Y/N),” he ground out. And it struck him then.

Close and hot and breathing each other’s heavy breaths. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to claim her mouth with his own. The want seized him with such urgency he was temporarily struck dumb.

His hands clamped down on her arms, keeping her close to his mouth.

“Joel,” she said full of heat, “What are you doing?”

But she was eyeing his lips now, so near her own. All she had to do was lean in.

Joel was so conflicted he was fighting every instinct in his body. His lip was starting to curl because of it, turning into a snarl as he gripped (Y/N) close to him. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

He wasn’t supposed to get attached, wasn’t supposed to want her.

But god she was so infuriating, so tempting.

His snarl neared her mouth, on the verge of devouring her. But in a sheer act of will he managed to push away – stumble back – and take a deep breath that wasn’t full of her clean, flowery scent.

He was running hot now, growing stiff as he stood there. He couldn’t steady his breaths, hands on his hips as he stared her down.

She was flushed and breathless in a way that spoke of innocent confusion. Her eyes were wide, and a delicate hand was resting on her chest, as if she had to hold back the pounding of her heart.

Oh God.

Joel bit back a growl, “I saw raiders… (Y/N). On my way over here. They were a few miles back but it’s the closest we’ve seen them in years. They’re scouting.” He knew better than to take a step closer to her. “And they will find you here.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He ran a hand over his beard, cursing to himself, “Fucking… this isn’t a joke, (Y/N). You could be in some serious danger.”

“I’ll figure it out,” she said, full of emotion, “I always do.”

That flush was settling in her cheeks and her eyes became glassy with it.

“Don’t be stupid.”

She clenched her jaw, screwing her lips up in a scowl. “I think you should leave.”

“(Y/N)…”

“Go away, Joel!” she fumed, standing her ground, “We made our trade – you have no business staying here any longer.”

He cursed her, making for the exit like he didn’t know what else to do. Hot blood was beating in his ears and as much as he hated her choice to stay, he still wanted her. He still wanted to be near her regardless of how angry she made him.

She knew he could reach Bill and Franks before nightfall or else she never would have sent him away. And at their little compound he pushed past Tess and found refuge in his own room for the remainder of the night.

Frank was curious as ever. “What’s gotten into him?” he asked Tess, “Ran into some trouble?”

Tess sighed, holding her glass of wine, “I told him to go on ahead to (Y/N)’s.” She took a sip, “Maybe I thought they could use some alone time together.”

Frank raised his eyebrows, suppressing a smile, “Little miss matchmaker you are.”

“Obviously it didn’t work,” she said, “But I know there’s something there.”

“I believe it,” he laughed, “Every asshole needs their sunshine person.”

Tess shared the laugh, “And a sunshine person (Y/N) is.” She raised her glass, “Let’s hope she manages to put him in his place.”

Frank eyed where Joel had just stormed off to, “If she hasn’t already.”

They shared a drink and wished each other a good night, oblivious to the fact that Joel was tossing and turning in his sheets, livid with the idea that (Y/N) could control him even when she wasn’t there.

He was angry and restless and resented how his cock twitched with dreams of her – how he very nearly kissed her just hours before.

It haunted him until dawn when he awoke with the distinct wish for a coffee from the café. He rubbed hard at his face, groaning with the lack of control on his own thoughts. (Y/N) was there smiling at him in his minds eye. Her clean flowery scent filling his nose.

He willed the blood to keep from rushing downward.

Tess and Frank were at the kitchen table, enjoying some eggs and toast. There was a black coffee waiting for him, steaming with the heat. His eyes flickered to the counter to see a bag of coffee beans clearly from (Y/N)’s town.

Tess followed his eyes and smirked, “You slept in.”

“Or he’s just been staring at the ceiling all night,” Frank smiled, “Figured you needed a coffee either way.”

Joel glared at them, sitting down and eagerly drinking the bitter coffee. He licked his lips, “I want to get back to the QZ before dark. We should leave soon.”

Frank groaned, “I always miss you guys when you’re gone.”

“Why do you think I stayed so long this time,” Tess said, “But we’ve got other trades to make. And there’s always the chance the QZ finds us missing. I don’t think I want to head back knowing there’s a noose waiting for me.”

There was a thud as heavy footfalls came from outside. Frank was to his feet immediately, knowing who was making the sound.

Bill came through the door, his breath a little labored, “Joel…”

“What is it?” Frank questioned, meeting him at the door, “What happened?”

Joel rose to his feet, a spark of fear igniting in his chest. If Bill wanted to speak with him, it could only mean grave news.

“Outside,” Bill said, “There’s smoke coming in from the east. A lot of it. I tried to radio (Y/N), and I can’t get a signal. Her channel has never been turned off before.”

Tess moved her head from one man to the other, “Joel…” she began as if she was trying to soothe him before something reckless happened. “It doesn’t mean…”

But Joel was shoving his way outside to look towards the east, the sun still rising as the day began. In the distance was a large billowing cloud of smoke. It was wide and black, meaning something big was burning hot and still raging.

East meant (Y/N)’s town. It meant something terrible had happened. And his blood ran cold.

“Joel,” Tess said behind his back, her mouth falling open, “What could’ve…”

Joel ran back inside for his pack, Bill waiting for him with a polished handgun and a box of ammo. A silent wish of luck that only Bill could express. They shared a look of understanding – that this was a moment of dread that people prayed would never happen to someone they cared about.

Joel gave him a nod of thanks and set out with Tess only five minutes later. He was keeping a runners pace until Tess asked him to slow down.

“Let’s not exhaust ourselves before we know what the threat is.”

“It was those raiders,” Joel bit back, “I told you they were heading this way.”

Tess was thinking it too, “She has a fighting chance,” she said. “She’s well prepared.”

Joel fought against the fear planted in his chest, “I shouldn’t have left.”

Tess wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “We’ll deal with it when we get there.”

It was the quickest they had ever made the trip, using the black billowing smoke as their guide. It never wavered and it never died down, meaning the fire wasn’t done burning everything in its path.

It would attract people for miles around.

Reaching a clearing, the pair of them paused to survey the area. Tess, as ever, was saying what Joel thought.

“Oh my god.”

The lookout house was in flames. The open windows were licked with fire, sending plumes of smoke into the open air. It crackled with heat and broke through part of the roof, sending ash and smoldering wood to the ground.

Bodies were littered outside the fence line – raiders that were caught in traps, shot by a rifle, or electrocuted by the fence. Some were tangled with the barbed wire lining the walls, others were smoking from once being engulfed in flames.

And how many managed to get inside, Joel thought.

They ran for the gate, Tess putting in the code that (Y/N) gave them months before.

Joel held up his new handgun, aiming for anything that moved. His breath was steady against the erratic beating of his heart. That fear in his chest controlled only by the instinct of hunting down whoever remained of the raiding party.

They kept their heads down, guns out, and feet moving in quiet steps. They scouted the guest house, checking the storage beneath the floorboards – it was untouched. They moved on to the main house and though it was ransacked, there wasn’t anyone there.

They went towards the shops, slowing down when they spotted two more bodies outside the electronics store.

Tess gave Joel a nod, and he went to check the faces – both raiders – before spying inside the open doors of the store. He could hear the crackle of electricity, could see the vibrant sparks of an open wire. The white smoke told him the radio was probably destroyed.

The sudden swing of the café door had them spinning around with scary precision.

“Oh, fuck!” said the raider, fumbling for a gun strapped to his belt.

Joel made quick work of shooting the guy in the leg. The raider cried out, falling to his side and yelling for any other help.

Tess kept her gun out as Joel ran for the injured thief.

“Help! Help me!” the man cried, grabbing onto his thigh, blood leaking out and beginning to pool beneath him. He tried to scoot away, “No, no, man stop!”

Joel landed a punch to the raiders face. He ignored the shots fired by Tess as she took down another exiting the café.

“Where is she?” Joel muttered. He dropped his gun, using his free hands to grab the raider by the jacket, “Where is she?”

The man jerked, a trickle of blood falling from his mouth, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”

Joel hit him again, “Don’t fuck with me, kid. I’m not in the mood.”

The raider looked terrified, “The girl… that lives here…”

Joel was holding him up in a sitting position, hands itching for his throat, “Where?”

“Couple of my buddies took her in the back.” He nodded towards the electronics store.

With a hard thrust of his hands, Joel slammed the man into the cobblestones of the street. Whether the impact knocked the man out or killed him, Joel didn’t care. He stood to enter the store, gun left forgotten on the ground.

“Joel!” Tess yelled, running after him.

He ignored her, barging into the store and tensing at the sound of whimpering coming from the back room.

He ran towards the sound, tearing open the door to see a sight that had the air knocked out of him.

(Y/N) sat curled in the corner of the room, hands outstretched towards the men above her, pleading them to stop. She was bruised and bloody – no longer smiling like life wasn’t hard, no longer clean with fresh flower soap.

She was terrified and hurt. A combination of things that had white noise filling Joel’s ears. He saw red as the remaining raiders turned towards him. The disgusting sound of their laughter ceased with the fire in Joel’s eyes.

Tess realized then that Joel didn’t need his gun. He didn’t need her for backup. He just went wild.

Raw instinct launched him towards the men, clobbering one and manhandling the other. He slammed one against the wall, hitting him until pain finally registered in his hand. The bloodied raider slumped to the ground, signaling to his partner to get the hell out of there.

But Joel had already turned and found the last assailant stumbling to his feet after being hit. He threw the man into the back room shelves, kicking him into the ground. He knelt over the raider and punished him with the fury that fueled Joel.

By the end Tess had a grimace on her face, a twist in her stomach that knew it would take Joel a while to come back from what he just did. She stood by (Y/N), shielding her until Joel was finished.

“(Y/N),” he rasped, ragged from the fight, “(Y/N)…” He met her on the floor, not daring to touch her yet.

Tess backed up, going outside to ensure they weren’t interrupted by any surprise raiders.

(Y/N) couldn’t control her breathing, silent tears running tracks through the ash and blood of her face. She kept her hands up, as if it were a measly last defense in saving her life.

Joel felt the fire extinguish in his head, pain blossoming across his knuckles as his hands began to shake. “(Y/N),” he tried again, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

She finally peeked above her hands at him, “Joel…” she said breathless.

A stab of pain went through his chest, “Yeah, baby,” he said. “I’m here.”

She was hesitant but as a fresh wave of tears came over her in gratitude, she started to lean into him. And Joel grabbed onto her instantly.

He wrapped her up with his arms and drew her close, “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

“I thought…” she tried to say, “I thought I was dead.”

“No,” Joel cut her off, “I won’t let that happen.” He squeezed her tight to his chest, saying the things he needed to hear just as much as her. “You’re okay. You’re safe.” Because with him there beside her, she was safe. He could keep her that way.

“They used one of the oak trees,” she muttered, “They climbed and secured a rope across the fence and into the house. They waited until I was alone.”

Joel swallowed hard, putting a hand to the back of her head. “It’s over – they’re all gone.” He shielded her from the bloody mess behind them, “Let’s get you clean up. Tess and I… we’ll take care of everything.”

They managed to get (Y/N) into her house and while Tess volunteered to help with a shower and taking care of her injuries, Joel set out to correct his mistakes.

He gathered the raider bodies and burned them outside the fence line, the acrid smoke masked by the house fire. He found the stolen supplies and placed them back where they belonged. He reset the traps and reloaded the weapons. He even managed to dampen the spread of the house fire so it wouldn’t jump to the other buildings.

Late into the night, restless with the events of the day, (Y/N) asked Tess why Joel hadn’t visited her yet. He had been out all day and into the night.

Tess stayed by her side, resting in an armchair. “He’s trying to make things right,” she said, “He’s working out his frustration.”

“At me?”

“No,” Tess said warmly, “With himself. With those raiders. And… I’m not sure he can stand the sight of you hurt.”

(Y/N) laid in bed, contemplating her words. “He’s going to have to come in eventually.”

“He will,” Tess continued, “After he’s figured out how to apologize to you.”

“He doesn’t have…”

“Oh, yes he does,” Tess smiled, “He won’t rest until he feels like he deserves your forgiveness. And even then…” she shrugged her shoulders. “He’ll blame himself for you getting hurt.”

By morning (Y/N) was able to shuffle towards the window, curious at a thudding sound outside. She pulled blankets closer to her bruised body and peered apprehensively towards the still smoldering lookout house.

It was emitting nothing more than ashy white smoke, meaning the fire could no longer find anything more to burn. And behind the house, beyond the fence, was Joel.

With an axe in hand, he was chopping down the oak tree that helped the raiders get in.

~~~

{2012 – three years after the raid}

After many heated arguments and prolonged visits, the old routine came back.

Joel and Tess returned to their usual trade routes, checking on (Y/N) whenever possible. (Y/N) rebuilt her radio and kept more frequent contact with her friends. She managed to rebuild her defenses and even had Bill attempt to break in a couple times to ensure maximum security.

Her wounds healed but left scars.

She no longer beamed, but simply smiled. She no longer welcomed with open arms, but with a small wave.

Joel struggled to look at her during visits. He tried to distance himself from conversation but couldn’t deny how badly he wished her safety. He’d stand on pins and needles waiting for her to pick up the radio. He’d frantically search the town before finding her reading in the café.

He was head over heels now. Dependent on her being alive and well. And that terrified him.

He had a taste of the panic that consumed him when she was in danger. When he saw her hurt. When he thought of her dead. It made him weak in the knees.

Joel knew that if he let himself he would love her until their dying day. He’d deal with their bickering and name calling and teasing because at the end of the day, he’d kiss her and hold her close, and remember a time when it wasn’t so scary to love.

But that panic ate at him. Reminded him of a grief he couldn’t go through again.

It led him to distance himself during visits. At least he tried to. It didn’t stop him from thinking of her when he touched himself at night.

If he let himself… he could love her like she deserved.

He maneuvered around the trip wires guarding the paths to her town. He ducked under explosives and jumped over potholes.

It had been nearly seven months since he last saw her. They briefly spoke each week on the radio just to check in, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her in person.

He knew he shouldn’t be as excited as he was – knew he shouldn’t have gotten her an extra gift with his trade – knew he shouldn’t have gone out by himself while Tess handled other trades.

But he couldn’t help himself.

She was sitting on her front porch when he reached the gate.

Maybe it was the fact she never interacted with other men, but the sight of him put butterflies in her stomach. She hadn’t felt a man touch her in years and the back and forth between her and Joel was putting her frustratingly close to the edge.

“Hey, there,” she called, watching him saunter over. He had one of his blue button downs on, a worn jacket on top. The corners of his lips barely upturned at her voice.

“How have you been?” he asked gruffly, taking a seat beside her.

She shrugged, “Did you find what I need?”

Joel noted her vague change of subject, “Yeah, here.” He opened his pack to retrieve a few packets of seeds and medicine.

(Y/N) became transfixed with how his hands moved, large and strong, her eyes moving along the veins and tendons working on the back of his palm.

She was just following the line of muscle along his arm when he waved the goods in front of her face.

“You okay?” he asked, holding out the medicine bottles, “You don’t need these because you’re sick, right?”

She felt warmth bloom across her cheeks, “I’m fine.” She cleared her throat, “I haven’t seen you in a while is all.”

Joel’s deep look of concern remained, “What’s the matter?”

She turned her gaze to her town, swallowing hard, “Nothing really.”

“(Y/N),” he said quietly. The baritone of his voice reverberated through her spine. His breath near her ear made her shiver. It was making him suddenly afraid. “What’s going on?”

Feeling him so close was sending goosebumps across her skin. God was she really that touch starved? He was overwhelming her without even touching her.

She stood up jerkily, “Nothing’s going on, as per usual.” She walked into her house, throwing the seed packets on the kitchen table and making for the stairs.

Joel got frantically to his feet, bewildered by her behavior. This wasn’t one of their usual arguments – something was wrong and if she kept evading his questions then he was going to get frustrated.

“Then why are you upset?” he followed her up the stairs and into her bedroom.

She went for the en suite bathroom, placing her new pills in the medicine cabinet. “I’m not.”

Joel felt that annoyance build in his gut, “You are.” He stood in the doorway, cornering her in the bathroom. “Why won’t you give me a reason?”

When she turned to see the way blocked by his broad frame, she gulped. He was bracing himself by putting both hands on the doorway and (Y/N) couldn’t help trailing her eyes along his build.

He was looking at her with a face full of concern, lined and rough with just a hint of frustration at her lack of answers.

It was hot. And (Y/N) hadn’t realized how low that heat had traveled since first seeing him walk through the gate. God she really was that touch starved. She was feeling breathless just looking at him.

Joel looked even more worried, “You sure you’re feeling alright?”

“Could you back up please?” her voice was small and nearly desperate, “Please?”

His eyebrows rose, lifting his hands in surrender and retreating for the bed, “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to corner you.”

She shook her head, heat putting a flush across her chest, “You know I’ve never had a problem being alone.”

Joel looked at her, silent as he sensed a confession coming.

“I’ve always enjoyed the peace and the freedom,” she said quietly, “But there was something I didn’t expect after all these years.”

She took a step forward and Joel had the sudden urge to grab her and hold her.

“I didn’t expect to feel lonely,” she said, “But I am. I’m so lonely here by myself. And it’s driving me insane.” She took another step towards Joel.

He reacted instantly, reaching out to offer his hand. When he found hers, he pulled her closer to him, “I can help with that.”

If he let himself… he could love her fiercely. And with her looking at him with such wide, desperate eyes, he felt ready to snap his resolve in two.

He pulled her closer, having her stand between his legs, “Would you let me help you?” With his free hand he ran a few fingers up her arm and she gasped. A high breathy sound as a shiver ran through her body.

“Fuck,” Joel said, “How long has it been for you?”

She shook her head, already feeling dizzy, “Help me.”

His cock began to ache as blood flew to it. “Tell me,” he said, “Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Help me feel,” she whimpered, “Not feel so alone.”

He groaned deep in his chest, pulling her closer to him, “If I do, a lot of things are going to change.”

She was lightheaded with his hands pulling on her wrists, placing them on his cheeks, “God I hope so.” She held onto his face, tilting it up to where she could plant her lips against his.

He responded immediately, reaching for her waist, groaning against her lips.

It was overstimulating having him touch her, even the barest of touches on her waist had her trembling. His hand wandered up her back, exploring her body with slow, steady hands. It was making her gasp against his mouth, eyes screwed shut and lips wet with his.

“You’re so sensitive,” Joel murmured, “Don’t worry – I’ll go slow.”

He retook her lips, swallowing her unsteady breaths. He started to stand from the bed, keeping his mouth on hers. His hands went from her sides to her jaw, holding her face up to him.

As he stood, her neck began to crane to keep her lips to his, sucking in breaths whenever she could. With him at his full height, she was flush against his chest. It was evident he was beginning to strain against his pants as she felt the bulge press into her midsection.

It sent fast trickles of warmth down between her legs. “Joel,” she said breathlessly, “God, Joel… it’s so much.”

“It feels good?” he muttered, pulling away to kiss her cheek, “Too much for you?”

She shook her head, easily turning her head to give him access to her neck.

“Needy,” he grinned, kissing the soft skin of her neck, “So needy for me.”

She moaned, planting her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. His lips were hot and wet as he nipped and sucked the column of her throat. He teased a sensitive part above her collarbone, relishing in the gasp it produced.

He sucked until he knew she was branded with his lips. He ran his tongue across the new hurt, already planning for the next spot to bruise with his teeth.

But her legs were slowly becoming water, unable to support her as she gave way to the feeling of Joel taking care of her.

“I’ve got you,” he said into her neck, arms wrapped around her waist, “Let go, baby.”

She fell into him, and he easily laid her on the bed, eyeing her against the sheets as he wondered where to go next. He was drawn instantly to the wet patch growing on the fabric between her legs.

“Fuck, baby,” he growled deep in his throat. “You’re that wet for me, and we haven’t taken off a single piece of clothing yet.”

She responded with trying to take her shirt off, making Joel laugh.

“Don’t,” she said, “Please.”

The desperation in her voice was driving him mad. Joel took her fumbling hands and pinned them above her head with one of his own. “Let me do it.”

He bowed his head and started kissing a trail down her chest and across her shirt. She started to squirm as he kept pressing his lips down her clothed stomach and finally her clothed heat. His free hand crept up her shivering leg and began to tug at her pants.

Her wriggling made it easier as he pulled at one hip and then the other, dragging the pants away. His lips went to kiss each inch of newly exposed skin as her clothes were tugged down. He finally released his hold on her hands, eager to remove her shirt as well.

They made quick work of leaving her in nothing but her panties. Her breasts full and perked with arousal. Joel eyed her with a mouthwatering gaze. She was so desperate for his touch her back was arching off the bed in search of his hands.

“If I had known sooner,” he said, laying on her until his face was level with her chest, “I would’ve done this years ago.”

Needing something – anything – to grab onto, (Y/N) wove her fingers into his hair. He smelt of wood oil and coffee and leather, sending her into another spiral as his lips found purchase between her breasts.

He laid claim to the valley there with new bruises, trailing his tongue after his handywork. With his body pinning her down, he could feel every shiver as he kissed and nipped around her nipple. She pulled at his hair and drew a moan out of him.

“You’ve waited this long, baby,” he teased, “Just be patient.”

She cried out when his took her in his mouth, running his tongue around her nipple. His hand found her other breast, giving it the equal attention it deserved.

The sound of her sensitive cries had him rutting his clothed cock into her. He was starting to lose control of himself, years of pent up frustrated feelings getting the better of him.

“Hang on,” he said, pulling away to remove his shirt, “Nearly there. I want to help you feel good.”

“It’s so good,” she whimpered, “You’re so good to me, Joel.”

He grinned, claiming her mouth once more, “You’re trembling, sweetheart. You’ve been on the edge this whole time.”

She nodded frantically, a look of pain between her brows. She was pushing him by the shoulders – pushing him down to between her legs.

“Is it too much?” he questioned her pained expression.

“Please…” she cried to him, “I need you, Joel. I want you now.”

He knew she was already overstimulated, had been from the start. He would need to be careful about how far he pushed her before it wasn’t enjoyable anymore.

He conceded, “Okay, baby.” He ran a finger along the elastic of her underwear, “You ready for me?”

“Yes,” she pleaded, “Yes, please, god.”

Joel was painfully aware of how aching his cock was now, already spurting with precum. It was an effort not to jerk into his hand as he freed himself from his pants.

She could barely concentrate on the length of him, just inching her hips forward until he grabbed her hips in warning.

“I’ve got you,” he said, “Let me help.” He planted a kiss over her clothed heat before dragging her underwear down and off her ankles.

He groaned, pumping his cock a few times, “You’re so goddamn beautiful.” He ran his tip through her folds, covering himself in her slick, “And so wet.”

He lined up at her entrance before bracing himself above her, chest to chest and lips nearly touching. When he sunk into her an inch, they both moaned at the pressure. He wanted to see the look on her face as he pushed in another inch.

Her hands flew for his face, holding him as she adjusted to his size. Her mouth fell open in a silent gasp, looking at him with pinched brows. He growled at the expression, urging himself to keep going slow. She was already wriggling with how sensitive she was.

If he dared brush her clit, she might have just screamed.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he watched the slight pain in her pinched brow. He wanted to know the instant it was from actual pain and not pleasure, “I’ll stop – just tell me.”

“No,” she pleaded, “Give it to me, please. God, Joel – fuck me.”

He rutted his hips by accident, bewitched by her words. It was going to be quick, he already knew. The pair of them desperate for love.

He started slow, rolling his hips into hers, keeping himself chest to chest with her. He wanted to be touching as much of her as he could. He wanted to hold her as she came. His lips found hers as his pace started to grow.

She was already tensing around him, every sensitive nerve in her body reaching a breaking point as her orgasm grew. She kissed him back, whimpering with every thrust of his hips.

“I’m…” she said breathlessly, “I’m so close, Joel.”

“I know, baby,” he said, rocking into her with more force, “I want you to. Give it to me.”

She ran her hands down his back, digging her nails in as her body began to seize. Joel wrapped his arms around her, holding her against the bed as she gripped the hair on the back of his head. She cried out from the overstimulation the orgasm was giving her, combined with Joel’s constant motion inside of her.

“I’ve got you,” he breathed against her neck, “You’re doing so good, baby.”

And as she trembled, still clenched tight around him, Joel felt himself start to tip over the edge.

“Fuck,” he ground out, “Fuck…” as he pulled himself out of her to spill between their bodies, hot and thick across their stomachs. They were breathing each other’s air again, pressed into each other in an embrace.

And when Joel realized she was still trembling after he calmed down, he pulled away. “Shit, baby – I’m sorry.”

She was weak with the pleasure, pained with the sensitivity, and dizzy from his body on hers. He pressed a lingering kiss to her hair and went for the bathroom, wiping his stomach clean of his cum before running a washcloth under the tap for (Y/N).

He returned quickly, sitting on the bed and carefully cleaning her skin. She squirmed when he reached between her legs and as an apology he kissed her thigh, “I’m sorry.”

She put a hand to his cheek, drawing his gaze, “I’m okay.” She smiled, “I’m better than okay.”

He looked relieved, dark brown eyes beaming with her smile. He quietly got up and retrieved some clean clothes, dressing himself and then taking his time in redressing her. Much more gentle then how he was taking them off.

It was cautious and intimate, Joel unsure of himself when it came to such acts of love. He didn’t want to overwhelm her any more than she already was.

“I knew if I let myself do this… I wouldn’t be able to turn back.” He crawled up the bed, refraining from touching her sensitive skin too much, “I’m in love with you, (Y/N). And that scares the hell out of me.”

“I know,” she said quietly, completely spent and exhausted from her shot nerves. “I love you too.”

You’d never know Joel was a hardened survivor by the way he smiled at her words. “What took us so long?”

“You’re always getting on my nerves,” she said sarcastically.

“And you’re always driving me insane,” he said in return, settling against the pillows. He looked at her now with a more innocent, inquisitive expression. “How do you feel?”

She turned her head to him, “Like I want to stay in this bed with you all day.”

He continued to smile, but his eyes were still warm, lovestruck. “I can help with that.” He got closer to her, slowly wrapping her up close to his chest. He pulled the blankets over them, asking softly, “Is this okay? You can tell me if it’s too much.”

“It’s just right,” she said, melting into his chest. “All I need is you.”

Joel kissed her hair, remembering how safe she felt in his arms. His own fears drowned out by the contented sigh escaping her.

And suddenly the world was quiet. And they were just two people that fell in love.

~~~

Masterlist

It’s written in my rules, but I’m going to write it here too. I don’t accept requested smut. I’m new to the writing and will only write it when I feel like it. Thank you.

Tag List:

@caswinchester2000 @aria253264 @bippity-boppity-boopa @kaqua @cameleonfrenzy @shyposttree

Remember to check out my tag list so you’re updated when a fic you like is posted on my blog! Tag List

#joel miller x reader #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller reader insert #last of us #the last of us x reader

156 notes · View notes

citylightsthings · 1 year

Text

This rendition of Bill and Frank’s story in a way reflects Joel and Ellie’s story and how it will come to fruition. Frank enters Bill’s life suddenly like Ellie enters Joel’s. And over that 20-some years Bill and Frank fall in love, somehow beat and won in life WITH love, despite their differences and arguments. In Bill’s letter, he says to protect those you love. And though he was talking about Tess, Joel has this realization that Ellie will be filling that hole in his chest. And we already know Ellie and Joel will have those differences, those heated arguments, and Joel will inevitably make that decision which will feed into season 2. But despite all of that, Joel and Ellie will win at life by truly loving each other as father and daughter.

#the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #joel miller #the last of us hbo #the last of us show #bill and frank

120 notes · View notes

thisisarcanereverie · 1 year

Text

When the World Went to Shit (Chapter 6)

Joel Miller x FEM! Reader

A/N: this is a SPOILER WARNING, this contains spoilers from the series in general.

PLEASE READ:

It's come to my attention that I've taken moments where Joel showed his vulnerability and made it about "Doc" (AKA the Reader). I would like to explain this. I've noticed in the show that Joel doesn't show certain emotions in front of others, the more vulnerable ones like fear or sadness or grief. He's always had those moments either with people he trusts completely or alone. And while he trusts Doc, she is one of the people he's trying to protect. So he wants to seem strong and doesn't show her those vulnerable moments, at least, when he can help it. Also up until now everything has been entirely in Doc's POV. From now on half of the chapter will be in Doc's POV and the other Joel's, it will still be in second person POV, just more into what's going on with Joel as a character. also a slightly shorter chapter this time around.

WARNINGS: Canon level of violence, swears, Joel is sad, talks of grief, PTSD, brief mentions of gore, Eventual Smut, pining (on both ends), grumpy idiots in love, reader is in her late 30's to early to mid 40's. Major character deaths. DISCLAIMER NO CHARACTERS/GIFS/PICS USED ARE MINE.

Summary: 20 years later after the world went to shit you, Joel, and Tess have to take 14 year old Ellie to the Firefly base outside of Boston QZ. What was supposed to be a simple plan turned into something much more complicated.

Prev. Chapter

Joel drove for a few hours before finding a place to park the truck, he made sure that it was clear enough to drive through but deep within the woods for cover. People had sucked before outbreak day, but they only got worse after. Raiders, Fireflies, FEDRA bastards, all of them sucked in their own way. He wasn’t an exception either, and he accepted that. He killed who he needed to, and more times than he would like to admit, he took pleasure in it. To take the hurt that he held onto and take it out on someone else, that was one of the reasons Tess liked him.

He gathered the sleeping bags from the truck, handing Ellie’s to her first, making sure she got Frank’s old one rather than Bill’s. He went to hand you yours when you shook your head.

“I think I’m going to sleep in the truck tonight,” you said.

“You don’t have to do that,” Joel said once again trying to hand you the other sleeping bag to no avail. He sighed a deep sigh as he saw that look in your eyes, the look he knew meant that you weren’t going to budge on this. “At least grab a blanket so you won’t freeze to death.” Joel doesn’t look at you as he says this, instead he carries the sleeping bag over and lays it down. He saw Ellie fiddle with a loose string of the sleeping bag, Sarah used to do the same-

Joel looked away before he could finish that thought. Instead he laid down inside the bag and groaned, he heard you say a silent goodnight to Ellie before closing the door to the truck. He watched it rock a little as you settled yourself in the backseat. Joel didn’t express it in too many words but he cared about you, he just didn’t have it in him to say it out loud.

“Hey Joel?” Ellie whispered, grabbing his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Did we do the right thing?” Joel looked over at her, he could barely see her eyes looking at him, which he was thankful for. “Lying to Doc?”

A deep sigh left him as he remembered the event that had only transpired a few hours ago, and the note that Ol’ Bill left behind tucked safely into his jacket pocket.

“It’s not lyin’,” Joel reasoned, “it’s just not telling her the whole truth.”

“Are you telling me the whole truth?” Ellie asked, Joel looked away from her and turned his face to the star strewn sky instead, finding the stars easier to look at, at the current moment.

“Sure,” He said. Turning over to lay on his right side, making sure he would still be able to hear her. Silence passed by between them but Joel couldn’t rest, not with Ellie tossing and turning every few minutes. He would no sooner close his eyes and she would turn, the fabric of the sleeping bag brushing along with her and would wake him up.

“Ok,” Joel groaned as he sat up and turned to her, “What’s wrong?”

“Those people that you and Doc talked about,” Ellie said, turning to him, “There’s no way they’d find us here right?” He was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. While he was sure that they were well covered, nothing was ever for sure.

“No one’s gonna find us.” Joel promised as he laid himself back down laying on his right side. Internally he was berating himself for making a promise he couldn’t keep, why did he do that?

“Ok,” He heard Ellie say before he heard the rustle of her sleeping bag one final time before silence.

Sleep evaded Joel, which wasn’t uncommon without the pills and hooch; however this time it was different. He had this nagging feeling, one that wouldn’t let him rest. He had promised Ellie that no one would find them, which is something he shouldn’t have done. Someone could, that was always a possibility and one you should always be ready for and the only way to do that was to stay up and keep watch. Joel inwardly groaned as he realized what he was going to have to do in order to stop that nagging feeling. He waited until he heard the soft snores coming from the brunette beside him and got up. A few cracks and pops could be heard as he stood from the ground, resisting the urge to cuss out loud he grabbed the gun and walked to the path they came in at and just stood there. He would watch for a few hours, just enough to reassure him that everything was fine before catching what sleep he could.

At some point in his watch he began to recount what had happened over at Bill and Franks. You didn’t know it but Joel had followed you, he watched as you broke down. He had wanted to comfort you, put an arm around your shoulders and lie to you saying that everything was going to be ok. But the longer he looked at you the more he felt his throat close up and the distinct feeling of having the wind knocked out of him grew stronger until he had to look away from you. He went back to the front of the house and put his hands on his knees, trying to breath through that gut wrenching feeling.

It was cruel, he thought. Back at the beginning, after he lost his daughter and you lost your mother you had been each other's rock. It wasn’t like he cried on your shoulder or the other way around, but you would just sit next to him; you wouldn’t try to speak to him or offer your condolences, you would just sit there. That had meant more than he could ever say. But when the time came around for him to comfort you…he just couldn’t do it, he didn’t know how to anymore.

His eyes had wandered over to the truck without him noticing, he hoped you were warm in there and that you couldn’t see him. Couldn’t see how shook he really was about everything that had happened, or that he was staying up later than he should to keep a promise he shouldn’t have made. In the strangest sense, though, in the midst of grief and fear was the beginnings of some old, forgotten feeling. One he hadn’t had since the outbreak, something he would rather not dwell on for too long.

As he watched the road ahead, careful of any noise or sudden movement of leaves in the darkness, he thought more about the past few days. A lot had happened, it was almost too much to process. He almost laughed as he thought about how easy this job was supposed to be, get the girl to the Firefly base outside of the QZ, get the supplies that were promised, then find Tommy. But since he’s accepted the job, he’s assaulted a FEDRA Officer (maybe killing him), found out that the girl wasn’t just a girl she could possibly be the only person immune to the Cordyceps, Tess getting bit and sacrificing herself to save them, Frank and Bill were dead and left him all their supplies along with some unsolicited advice on Bill’s part. The one thing in common is that in the past few days, three people that he cared for (whether he admitted it or not) have died. Sure, Bill and Frank had been dead before he got there but how was he supposed to know that?! It was just a lot to lose in such a short time frame.

And what of you?

You, that smart mouthed child who used to chide him and Tommy about smoking cigarettes, turned into one of the most important people in his life. You weren’t much younger than Tommy, just a year or two; and before the outbreak he hadn’t spoken to you in years, wouldn’t have been able to pick you out in a crowd or anything. Yet now, after all these years, if he closed his eyes and focused long enough he’d be able to pick out the sound of your breathing. And that scared him, now more than ever. He’s already lost Tess, he’s lost Sarah and he’s lost Tommy and Bill and Frank, how could he lose you? He didn’t know what he would do if he lost you too. He tried not to think about that, but with everything that had happened it was inevitable that his mind would wander there.

Joel didn’t know how long he stared down that empty path, waiting for something he knew wouldn’t come. But the next thing he knew the sky was lighter and the early morning mist began to rise and he was tired. The corners of his vision blurred from the lack of sleep, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t push through. Maybe he would have you drive today, get a little nap in the passenger seat before stopping to fuel up or siphon gas out of abandoned vehicles if you didn’t want to break into the gas cans quite yet.

First things first though.

Coffee.

**************************************************************************

(Reader’s POV)

“Please!” the woman in front of you begs, a strand of her brown hair dangled in front of her eyes as you saw her tears fall, “don’t kill me here! I can’t die here, I have-” Your finger squeezed the trigger and the recoil was nothing to your body anymore. You watched as her body fell to the ground with a thud, the sound of the gunshot still echoed through the air as you silently said your apologies. She wasn’t the first person you’ve had to kill in order to survive, and she wouldn’t be the last.

For a few weeks it was just You, Joel, and Tommy. But Tommy had always been fast to make friends, and soon all three of you were a part of a group. Apparently not everything was lost, the government was still active, or at least that’s what you’ve heard through them. They’ve set up Quarantine Zones, or QZ’s. apparently they would have supplies, shelter, things that you needed and more. But it was a long walk from Texas to Boston, and you needed to do what you had to do to survive. Even if that meant killing people who had what you needed in order to do that.

You were about to grab her bag when you saw the locket hanging around the woman’s neck. It wasn’t anything you needed, but curiosity got the better of you as it always did. You opened the silver locket to see not a picture but a single snippet of blonde hair, wordlessly you closed the locket with the hair inside and grabbed the bag before your conscious started to stir.

The bag had seen better days, as did everything else, the bag was covered in dried dirt and one of the straps was only attached to the sack via duct tape. You looked inside and thanked god that she had at least four cans of food, That would be enough for you, Tommy, and Joel for tonight at least with one to spare. You dumped the cans into your own bag and tossed it aside, having no need for the bag when your own was in better condition at least. You got up and were about to leave when you looked over and saw a few flowers.

Bluebonnets.

They had been your mother’s favorite, she had always liked blue things. You knew you had to get back to the group, that they would probably be wondering where you were. But, for once, you ignored logic. You adjusted the body of the woman, adjusted her so that her necklace was under her shirt and close to her heart before you grabbed a few of those bluebonnets and surrounding flowers. Making a makeshift bouquet before placing it in her hands. You said a silent prayer before turning away. You didn’t know if she believed in a god and after all that had happened you couldn’t blame her, nor did you know which one she worshiped. So you kept it as vague as you possibly could and gave her what little of a funeral you could to make up for what you had to do.

It was almost funny, how over the past month or so you had never felt so alone than in this moment. When you realize that the day someone you love dies isn’t the worst.

It’s all the days that follow.

You took a sharp inhale as you woke up, your heart beating faster than normal as you struggled to sit up. You cupped your hands over your eyes as you tried to remember to take deep breaths. You’ve done things that you weren’t proud of, that haunted you. You’ve made friends and held them in your arms as they died, there were people you couldn’t save, and you’ve killed people who were only doing what they could to survive. You let out a deep sigh as finally you feel your heart rate slow and the pounding in your head cease.

“Hey,” you heard Joel say as he opened the truck door letting the cool early morning air into the truck causing goosebumps to form on your forearms, “I made some coffee if you want any.” It was funny, how tired you can see someone was by their eyes. The first thing you noticed was how the whites of his eyes were bloodshot, and how slow he was to blink, and the rings underneath his eyes were dark. If you had to guess, the poor man didn’t sleep last night. You weren’t sure if it was from nightmares or from something else, and you had to stop yourself from asking. It wasn’t your place, you may care for him, but his issues were his own and demons only he could fight.

“Great,” you groaned as you stretched, pretending not to notice how tired he was, “I could use a cup,” you heard a few pops coming from your back as you raised your arms over your head only to let them down after a second. Relishing in the brief relief of constant uncomfortableness that your body was under most days.

“I, uh, I got us both thermoses before we left,” Joel said as he cleared his throat looking away, “I’ll just put your half in yours, just come out when you’re ready.” You watched as he walked off with that familiar slight stagger in his step. Not really understanding what that was about, you decided not to think more about it as you grabbed the blanket that you slept with last night. You haphazardly fold it before placing it on the passenger seat, where Joel was going to be once you’ve packed up camp. The door closed with a thud as you turned to see Ellie waking up, and wiggle her way over to where the bubbling of coffee was. You watch in amusement as you see her recoil and a look of utter disgust etches on her face as she opens the lid and smells the slightly burnt and roasted smell of coffee grounds.

“What the fuck is that?!”

You watch Joel, who was putting away his own sleeping bag in the trunk of the car, turn to her with a look that you could only describe as mild offense and surprise.

“You don’t like coffee?”

After a few more comments from Ellie about how disgusting coffee smelled and grunts from Joel. You all eventually got all the gear together and headed into the truck. Ellie took the back seat and while you assumed you were going to have to fight Joel on this, you were pleasantly surprised when no fight came from him as you opened the passenger seat for him and motioned for him to get inside. Only fight you got was about you opening the door for him, saying something along the lines about you hurting his southern gentleman pride. But that was quickly abandoned as the door closed and you went to get behind the driver's seat.

After making sure you didn’t forget anything one more time, you started the engine and started to make your way to Wyoming once again.

TAGLIST:

faith-alons26

burninggracesandbridges

dorck26

issybee0611

lightninginab0ttle

@avengersfan25

#joel miller x reader smut #joel x reader angst #joel miller x reader #x reader #x reader angst #x reader smut #joel miller smut #joel x reader #tlou smut #tlou #tlou hbo #tlou series #tlou fanfiction #tlou joel #tlou x reader #tlou x you

102 notes · View notes