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ichayalovesyou · 3 years

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Unexpected: Shipping Spones

and how I think it went down subtextually

Preface: I do not think they’re relationship would’ve really kicked into something more than platonic until Mirror, Mirror (I think that’s when Bones realizes he’s physically attracted to Spock but we’ll get into that later)

Miri

“Aww, you do care!” 😊😳😑

Dagger of The Mind

“Wow, I’m seeing something about you that you haven’t even told Jim... that’s kinda, really fucked up and freaky, but also elegant and beautiful?”🤔

The Conscience of A King

“Crap, okay, Jim is acting weird, guess we have to rely on eachother.” 🙄😤😑😏

The Galileo 7

“Wow, you’re an asshole but I’m also learning about your redeeming qualities?? And also I really, really don’t want to see you die?????” 🙄😒😳

*Space Seed

This isn’t a very Spones-y episode I just think it revealed to us, or even to Bones, that he finds dangerous, intense, confident men attractive. Bones’s love language is jokes and threats punctuated by genuine earnesty and he was ABSOLUTELY low-key flirting with Khan with the knife at his throat.

Return of The Archons

I don’t think Bones was aware of it while it was happening because of Landru but it’s heavily implied Spock tried to mind meld with him. I think it left a subconscious impression on Bones, and a very conscious impression on Spock that he does actually care about him. He sounds so frustrated when he says he can’t break Bones out of it 🥺

Operation: Annihilate!

I mean this one kinda speaks for itself, it is a miserable time for the Triumpverant and Bones is so, so, high empathy. To see Kirk on the verge of bursting in to tears (and he probably did tbh we just didn’t see) for the entire ordeal and seeing Spock in enough pain to show it must’ve really, really shook him. Then on top of that he has to deal with needlessly blinding Spock while testing the cure. I honestly think 90% of the time he seems like he’s teasing Spock about his differing biology, it’s that he’s actually way more angry at himself. Angry for not being able to be certain Spock is really okay and nothing’s wrong, because half the time he wouldn’t know what to look for. He cares about Spock so much that getting to a point where he doesn’t know what to do for him when something could be done, scares the fuck out of him.

Mirror, Mirror

Now this is where the steamier aspect begins. I think Bones is so absolutely hellbent on saving Mirror!Spock because he’s a bit traumatized and just cannot deal with the prospect of any Spock dying on his watch. Even if it means being trapped in a dimension where he’d have to break his hypocritical oath or die upholding it. He’s rewarded with a very intimidating, very sexy mind meld. It’s been established that Mind Melds are two way windows, Bones can experience everything Mirror!Spock is, and I think he’s surprised and intrigued by what he finds out about what’s going on under that Vulcan veneer of calm. (I also headcanon that Spones are already a relationship in the Mirror timeline but I think my point would still stand even if Bones didn’t find out they were a thing in an alternate universe).

At this point, I think Bones starts legitimately wondering if he’s missing out with what Kirk & Spock have by being so closed off with Prime!Spock. (yes I love McSpirk too, I could never pick one ship and poly rep is where it’s at! I also can’t imagine Kirk and Spock ever going without one another, they’re bond is so much deeper than friendship.)

Amok Time

It checks so many goddamn boxes!

“Wait?! Vulcans go into heat?? It’s called what?!” Playing into both his fear that he won’t be able to save Spock if something goes horribly wrong, and let’s be real, Pon Farr, as like a concept is 🔥 even if it doesn’t make a ton of sense lmao.

You’re asking me to come along to this super sacred private occasion of yours?? With your other choice being your current lover? Okay! 😳

“No! No no no no I am not going to lose either of you! Not to-fucking-day! Time to risk a diplomatic incident by faking my dearest friend’s death and traumatizing the guy I now realize I have a major tsundere-style crush on!”

“Wow, I just saw Spock emote, god I wish I could get you to smile like that. I’m just gonna pretend to not know what you guys mean by ‘minding the store’. It’s not like a thank you for breaking you out of Plok’tow and preventing you from killing the man we you love is in order or anything.” 🙄😏

Journey to Babel

I mean, everything he does for Spock’s sake this episode. Also talk about unlocking your closed-off friend’s tragic backstory! I mean, experimental medicine, alien surgery, caving with no real argument on one of Kirk’s hair brained life threatening schemes?! That’s love!

Also: prying for cute/embarassing information about your crush/SO from their parents is On Brand (Bones always wants The Drama 😆) COME ON “A teddy bear???!!??”

Also also: I’m sure there’s some serious fringe benefits to having your attractive friends confined to sickbay so that neither of them accidentally bleed to death.

Bread and Circuses

I feel as though it’s in Bones’ nature to interrogate and goad Spock about his feelings, not because he thinks Spock doesn’t have any, but he wants to see how deep they go. I think this comes from the vibe that I get from Bones that he has Imposter Syndrome and projects it onto his close relationships in times of stress. They’re both trapped in a cell together and deeply scared for Kirk. I think he’s asking:

“Do you really love Jim as much as I think you do?”

“Do I actually care about/feel attracted to you? Or do I just think I do because Jim does?”

“Am I actually capable of love? Or capable of being loved?”

“Are there really warm, decent feelings in there for me too?”

The Immunity Syndrome

This the episode I just saw all the way through for the first time (I’m watching TOS all the way through for the first time in general) and if this episode doesn’t confirm for Spock & Bones that they love each other, it sure as hell does for me.

Bones is unusually worried (even for him, we all know he gets hella agitated when Spock is hurt) when Spock feels the Intrepid die.

It feels to me that it’s not that Bones doesn’t believe Spock about what happened, he just doesn’t want it to be true. Because what does that mean Spock just went through? What does that mean for any single person to experience so much death in a single instant? He barely has the heart to deal with one at a time!

That and they keep throwing themselves in each other’s way in the professional Who Gets To Die for Science contest. We good good shit like “... good luck Spock” & “Shut up Spock we’re rescuing you!!!”

Spones is such a weird, nuanced ship that can be as painfully prickly as it is overwhelmingly, mind-bogglingly tender. It’s like the odd-couple done right. I definitely ship it to slowly increasing degrees after Miri (and not before) it’s definitely got slow burn energy. It’s not as mutual soft boy energy as their respective relationships with Kirk. They’re loving AND combative which is what makes the Triumverate so refreshing and compelling, whether you ship any of it or not. I’m not saying Bones (and Spock) don’t have their shit to work on with each other, but the work is what matters.

Anyway, Spones is good. I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest.

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farmerlan · 4 years

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Farmer Lan’s Rewatch Guide to The Untamed - Episode 13

And then I said I wasn’t flirting. You know, like a liar.

episode masterlist here

SPOILER WARNING!

[Wei Wuxian asks, again, if Lan Wangji’s leg is fine, and doesn’t take no for an answer. He offers to piggyback Lan Wangji, but is brusquely declined. He sends a message to Wen Qing to ask for a break - Wen Qing grants his wish, but Wen Chao cottons on and warns Wen Qing about her intentions.

Wang Lingjiao orders the cultivators to find the cave, and we also learn a little more about her background. They find the Xuanwu cave due to Wei Wuxian’s talisman. While walking inside, Mianmian slips and is caught by Jin Zixuan. Wen Chao lashes out at them with his whip, but Jin Zixuan blocks it for Mianmian. Wen Chao reminds them all of his superiority and then proceeds to kick Wei Wuxian down a cliff edge. He is helped up by Lan Wangji and the rest of the gang follow (lol Jin Zixuan says he’d rather be down here than watching the ‘mean couple insult us’ <- Netflix subs but mean is such a softer way of translating what he actually calls them, which is pretty close to ‘bastard couple’)]

Differences from the novel:

The novel went way faster on this part of the story because it was focused on the later wangxian part haha.

As discussed in Episode 12, Wei Wuxian never actually offers to piggyback Lan Wangji because he never got the chance to. :(

Wen Qing doesn’t appear in the Xuanwu arc at all.

Guys, guys, guys, listen. I know baby Wei Wuxian is a pro at using the talisman but - some rando found the cave entrance in the novel.

The Wen Chao scenes here don’t happen. Mianmian doesn’t slip, Wen Chao doesn’t go on a deranged rant, doesn’t whip or kick anyone (wow, he is almost pleasant in the novel). Jin Zixuan actually volunteers to go first, and they all reach the pond without any incident.

[They arrive at the Xuanwu pond and Wang Lingjiao volunteers Mianmian to be the human bait - Jin Zixuan stands up for her, but Wen Chao insists that he delivers Mianmian to him. When he hesitates, some Jin disciples attempt to make a move, but are foiled by Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan. A fight breaks out and Wei Wuxian recites Wen Mao’s teachings back to Wen Chao, who doesn’t recognize it at all and is made a fool by Wei Wuxian. They fight but right as Wen Zhuliu is about to come to his rescue, Wei Wuxian takes Wen Chao hostage with a sword to his neck.]

Differences from the novel:

This scene plays fairly close to the novel, including Wei Wuxian’s badass recitation of the Wen sect teachings back to Wen Chao. Some minor differences:

Both Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji initially stand up to protect Mianmian upon hearing Wen Chao’s intention to capture her and use her as human bait.

It’s actually Su She who attempts to capture Mianmian but he is foiled by Lan Wangji. Although he doesn’t actually say anything, his eyes clearly convey his anger on behalf of the Lan sect for having such a traitorous disciple. For shame, Su She! You immoral scum!

[Right at that moment, the xuanwu appears, disturbed by the movements on his carapice. Wen Chao, dumbassTM that he is, causes a disturbance and everyone’s attention is turned to fighting the monster. In the meantime, Wang Lingjiao attempts to brand Mianmian’s face with the Wen sect’s branding iron, but is saved by Wei Wuxian. The Wen sect makes their escape and cuts off all of the ropes and blocks the exit.

As the cultivators try to figure out an alternative plan, Wei Wuxian hurries to comfort Mianmian, who is feeling guilty for causing Wei Wuxian’s injury. Meanwhile, Lan Wangji astutely observes that there must be another entrance, due to the presence of maple leaves in the cave without any maple trees.]

Differences from the novel:

Honestly, not a whole lot! The drama pretty much depicts what happens in the novel.

[They distract the tortoise to give Jiang Cheng a chance to investigate the underwater exit, and everyone proceeds to escape - but Mianmian trips and the scent of her blood agitates the tortoise. Lan Wangji decides to stay back to help Wei Wuxian distract it, but his leg is bitten in the process. They run into a small tunnel to hide until the tortoise loses interest.]

Differences from the novel:

Mianmian doesn’t trip, but the tortoise does get agitated by the scent of blood. In the novel, Su She attempts to shoot an arrow at the tortoise as he retreats, but misses and strikes Wei Wuxian’s arm instead (BRAVO!). Wei Wuxian doesn’t think before pulling out the arrow, but then immediately realizes what he has done as the scent of his blood fills the air. Lan Wangji pushes him aside right as the tortoise lunges for him and ends up getting severely bitten in the leg.

The tortoise then attempts to swallow Lan Wangji whole. Wei Wuxian stops this by literally clutching on to its teeth and forcing its jaws apart. As Lan Wangji falls into the water, so does Wei Wuxian, and he immediately carries Lan Wangji to shore and into the tunnels - so he does get to piggyback Lan Wangji after all! Hilariously, their dialogue at this point goes:

Lan Wangji: You?! (somewhat surprised that Wei Wuxian was able to manage all of that while being injured)

Wei Wuxian: Of course it’s me - are you pleasantly surprised?! :))))

Lan Wangji: What is pleasant about this? Put me down!

[Wei Wuxian rips off the sect ribbon from Lan Wangji’s forehead and uses it to make a tourniquet for him. He then proceeds to strip (and also attempts to strip Lan Wangji) as a tactic to shock Lan Wangji into spitting out the stale blood within his body. Upon realizing what he was trying to do, Lan Wangji thanks him, and then proceeds to press some of the medicine into Wei Wuxian’s own chest wound from the iron and tells him off for being brash.

Wei Wuxian plays it cool and says it’s fine for a man to have some scars, especially if it was for protecting a girl - a girl who will likely remember him forever. Lan Wangji says that since he knows she’ll remember him, then he should not go around teasing people he’s not serious about. Wei Wuxian accuses him of liking...Mianmian (WRONG target dude) and Lan Wangji’s like ...why am I stuck here talking to you.

Wei Wuxian plans their exit strategy, but Lan Wangji says there won’t be anyone from his sect coming since the Cloud Recesses went up in flames. Wei Wuxian is stunned into silence and asks after his family. Lan Wangji reveals that Lan Qiren is heavily injured and Lan Xichen has gone missing. Wei Wuxian offers him his outer robe, but sees that he is already asleep, and secretly worries about Jiang Cheng and Yunmeng.]

Differences from the novel:

This scene in particular plays out in greater detail in the novel. In general, Lan Wangji talks/interacts a LOT more in this scene in the novel. In the drama, he’s visibly emotional, but still fairly reserved. In the novel, even Wei Wuxian notices that he is in an unusually foul mood, and way more easily provoked than usual - he eventually finds out why.

The PUSHING. After the stripping and the blood vomiting happens, Wei Wuxian uses the herbs in Mianmian’s medicinal sachet instead of what he obtained from Wen Ning for Lan Wangji’s wounds. They have the conversation around Wei Wuxian’s general flirtatious attitude like they do in the drama, but Lan Wangji gets really mad as he exclaims “So you know that you’ll remain on her mind forever!” and literally shoves Wei Wuxian, who falls onto the ground.

The BANTER. In the novel, it’s gotten to the point where he is straight up squabbling with Wei Wuxian. Just look at this exchange right before he bites Wei Wuxian.

LWJ: Don’t tease other people if you aren’t serious about their feelings. Your casual words and actions may mean nothing to you, but it riles up others!

WWX: It’s not like I’m teasing you, so why are you getting riled up? Unless…

LWJ: Unless what?

WWX: Unless you like Mianmian!

-pause-

LWJ *coldly*: Please stop spouting nonsense.

WWX: Fine, I’ll start spouting onesense instead. (It’s a pun on the Chinese idiom, 胡说八道, which LWJ just used.)

LWJ: Is this entertaining for you, this kind of wordplay?

WWX: Super entertaining. Also, not only am I quick with words, I’m quick with my abilities too.

LWJ: ...Why am I sitting here talking crap with you???

The BITING. Upon concluding the above dialogue, Lan Wangji straight up sinks his teeth into the crook of Wei Wuxian elbow and refuses to let go. Like a dog. In fact, Wei Wuxian scolds him for acting like a dog and runs to the other side of the cave HA. And then he follows this up...by thanking Wei Wuxian, who at this point is just straight out flabbergasted at what is going on.

The CRYING. I mentioned previously in Ch 12 - Lan Wangji’s father was still alive and the sect leader at this time, and Lan Wangji reveals that he is fighting to stay alive. At this point, Wei Wuxian freezes, because although he knew Qingheng-Jun was injured, he wasn’t aware that it was that serious, so this was new information, and he finally understands why Lan Wangji has been acting out this whole time. When he turns to look at Lan Wangji again, he sees tear streaks on his face - and instantly feels afraid and powerless. He internally narrates that with men like Lan Wangji, they would probably only ever cry a handful of times in their lifetime, yet he didn’t know how to comfort him given the situation. So he just calls Lan Wangji’s name, but Lan Wangji tells him to shut up - and then adds, “Wei Ying, you really are an annoying person.” Ouch. Wei Wuxian feels infinitely worse that Lan Wangji has to deal with his presence on top of all this grief, and so only stays far away from him after offering him his undergarments to keep warm.(1)

Overall thoughts:

(1) This is his set of inner robes, the layer that goes against his skin. He thought about giving Lan Wangji his outer robes, but decided against it because it was filthy and he knew the Lan sect emphasized cleanliness. But also, nobody is missing the subtext here...

All in all, this is the definitive scene that we can all point to as the time when Lan Wangji.exe stopped functioning. I was re-reading the Xuanwu arc for the purpose of recapping Episode 13 and this realization hit me that like, holy shit, if I were to put my bets on when Lan Wangji started having/realizing his feelings for Wei Wuxian, this would be it.

Specifically, this is when Lan Wangji loses control. We all know how important control is to Lan Wangji - it’s part of the asceticism and self-governance expected of him as a Lan sect disciple, and he embodies this even more so than anyone else. Never a hair out of place, never a word that comes out of his mouth that hasn’t already been thought through. To allow himself to be provoked to this extent, to let someone see him so completely vulnerable - I know he was in a fragile state, but I don’t think he would have displayed this side of him to just anyone. After all, he gritted his teeth through the entire time he was at the Wen sect. So, I don’t know, Lan Zhan, why are you sitting around bullshitting with Wei Ying? Hmmmm?

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ipurpleyou1993 · 4 years

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My thoughts on:

Melting Me Softly

Starring: Ji Chang Wook/Won Jin-ah/Yoon Sae-ah

- For those who do not know, this series is Ji Chang Wook's comeback entry since his military service ended. So, safe to say, many have high hopes for the series. 😊

- How hard is it to lose the one you love - in this case, death? Bez, it's super hard.

This gets even harder when you do not have proof of their disappearance and ONLY ASSUME that you've lost them.

Imagine the pain of having to mourn a loved one that you are still hoping to find alive in the back of your heart and mind.

This may sound like a spoiler but I literally cried on the second episode. ANG SAKIT! 😭🥺🙈

- Family FIRST. We all love our family. I love how this series shows us that no matter our age, we will all still be someone's child and sibling. We protect and love our own. And we will do all things we can to support them.❤️

- Pateince is key. 💯 So for the pilot episode, I had so many questions in mind already. I found it very confusing. Although I have to admit, it will all make sense as the episodes progress. Hence the first sentence - PATIENCE IS KEY. 🙈🤣

The Gist:

The series is about two individuals who entered a cryonics experiment during the 1980s for a variety show.

It was intended to be a 24-hour experiment but due to unfortunate circumstances, they woke up 20 years after.

In total, there were 6 participants in the experiment. But only two agreed to show their face for the viewership of the variety show.

One of the two participants to to agree is Ma Dong Chan. He is the male lead in the story and is played by Ji Chang Wook

Ma Dong Chan is a renowned director during his time. He is known to have the golden touch for all the shows he directed turned out to be certified blockbusters. He participated in this program because he is the kind of director to do all-bizarre things to prove a point. He believes that it is possible to change the world through positive and innovative media platforms.

The second participant is Ko Mi Ran. She is the female lead in the story and is played by Won Jin Ah.

Ko Mi Ran is every woman out there - she does everything for her family. Especially for her special needs brother. The reason she participated in the experiment is for her brother. You'll find out more when you watch it. 😉

The story begins after they wake up 20 years post-freezing. In 2 decades, everyone and everything changed, though for the two of them, it was literally just yesterday.

See how they cope with the change and how things progress from there in the series. 💜

What I liked about the series:

- First of all, JI CHANG WOOK! ❤️ We all know that Ji Chang Wook is a certified OPPA. No questions asked. From Healer to The K2 to Empress Ki, he made us fall in love with him - ALL THE FREAKIN' WAY. 😍❤️😊

I love how Ji Chang Wook got the role of an angsty director this time. It suits him - with his charming looks and seductive charisma. 😉❤️😋 This just goes to show that due to his great acting skills, any role just works for the man.

In reference to his director role, I love how he always says (as Ma Dong Chan) that he became a variety show director to give the people something to look forward to amidst all the negativity the world brings.

And when asked: Why do you go extreme measures for a variety show?

He always answers: Because I have to do what others are afraid of doing to make a change.

You see? He gave inspiring a new meaning. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

But seriously tho, it's so hard not fall in love with JCW. He's just... well look at that 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

- This is my first encounter with Won Jin Ah. I've got to say, the image of a frail woman suits her. She's sooooooo thin - LITERALLY. Hahahaha! I think one strong wind blow can affect her balance. 🙈😂🤪 But I appreciated her acting. Good job, girl! 💯

I like her character's feistiness, tho. She looks frail but her will power is strong. She will do everything in her power to support her family. Isn't she all of us? Hahahaha! Go for #GirlPower! 💜👍🏻💯

- I love the friendship of Ko Mi Ran, Kyung Ja and Young Seon. Despite the 20 year hiatus on their friendship, they still managed to chat and bond as if it was just yesterday.

Don't we all wish we have this kind of relationship? One that can withstand long pauses and boys coming in between. #SANAALL 😊❤️👍🏻

- The chemistry. ❤️ I've read reviews saying that JCW and WJA lack the connection required to make a kilig series. But I saw the chemistry. There's just so much push-and-pull going on that it makes the heart cringe and wonder - ANO NA BA TALAGA?!?!

- THE KISSING SCENE THAT WAS THE TALK OF THE TOWN!!!

SPOILER ALERT!

Check out this link👇🏻👇🏻

https://youtu.be/zveSVEdFuyI

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Now we all understand why it trended that time. Who wants to go next?? MEEEEEEEEE! 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

- I SUPER LOVE THE OST - BGM included. 💯👏🏻🎉 Tell Me, Please by Yeonjung is my personal pick! 😉😊👍🏻

As previously mentioned, I love all the music pieces included in the OST. They're all full of emotions suited for every scene it was played. Kudos to the music team of the series. Gujab! 👍🏻👏🏻🎉💯

I also liked the snippet of Can't Take My Eyes Off of You on the first episode (with Ko Mi Ran dancing in her PJ's). Hihi. ❤️😊💯

Link will be provided below for easier reference. 😊

- I love beautiful relationships between FAMILY. I liked how the family relations were displayed in the series - it was genuine and sincere. Makes you want to be a part of their family. 😊

- I love the comedy stint between Ma Dong Chan and his niece, Ma Seo Yoon.

In reality, it's actually rare for older people to listen to kids her age. But she is well-versed when it came to technological advances, what's in and what's not, and just LIFE in general. I found it funny because Ma Dong Chan actually listens to her and she MAKES A LOT OF SENSE - actually, she's MORE SENSIBLE than the adults in her home. 🤣🤣🤣

- I also liked the funny realization Young Seon had about her husband and son. This can be considered one of the best scenes in the series - for me at least. Hahahaha!

In reality (in the series), it is not intended to be funny. But it came across as funny to me because...well...20 years has passed and it is history repeating itself - literally. 🤣🤣🤣

Cons:

- Honestly? I found the beginning of the series very NOISY. All the shouting was literally banging my eardrums while watching. I almost skipped the first episode because of this. 🤷🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Also, the first episode was trying to be funny - and when I say trying, it was very evident that they were trying. Good thing tho, Ji Chang Wook was able to comvince me to continue watching despite this. 💁🏻‍♀️

- The 20-year love story gap did not quite work for me. Was too awkward to watch. Personal opinion, tho. 💁🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

- The acting appears to be too theatrical for me. It's soooooo exaggerated especially with the scenes of Hyeon Gi and Hong Seok. 🙅🏻‍♀️

- The villain's existence is somewhat "short-lived" and all over the place.

You're kinda expecting a lot of action since the series progresses in such a way but then, it turns out to be a "meh" ending for the villain. Then, the continuation of the evilness seemed as though it was put there just for the sake of it. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't want to compare, but I'm so used to korean villains who are so agitating that they make you cringe on so many levels.

Soundtrack:

Melting Me Softly OST Playlist

Just a bonus clip since I really loved the scene this was played in 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

https://youtu.be/AiIBKcd4m5Q

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There goes my thoughts. Happy reading and watching! 💜

CTTO - Photos/GIFs/Music

#kdrama #kdrama review #Melting Me Softly #Melting Me Softly Review #Review #Ji Chang Wook #Ma Dong Chan #Won Jin Ah #Ko Mi Ran #Go Mi Ran

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buoyantsaturn · 7 years

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okay im a slut for angst iD kill for a solangelo fic with mental illness or self harm?? idk

obvi theres a big warning here for self harm and mental illness so if youre not cool with that dont read under this cut ok lets go

will my boy is depressed like hes always had seasonal depression but honestly just bc of Past Experiences he gets so much self doubt and anxiety on top of it like he constantly terrified that he’s Next like the last two head counsellors before him both died in a war????? hes amazed that he lived through the last war bc like people die in threes u know??? so hes super anxious about the fact that maybe he wasnt supposed to survive the war but also why isnt he a better healer that he couldnt save the people that DID die??? Maybe he deserved to die bc he couldnt save the others

so when will was a kid he used to just be like,,,, slow in the winter, never wanted to get out of bed or anything, was generally just a lot less happy until the sun came out or unless he was taking vitamin D supplements ((dont think like that i mean the literal vitamin that helps with seasonal depression))

then when he got older and the self doubt and anxiety and everything else set in he just started taking worse care of himself in general like he would get super anxious to the point where he couldnt eat for like entire days and he would barely sleep so he would spend even more of his time in the infirmary organizing things and taking inventory.

one time it was the middle of the night he’s having a terrible time and hes restocking the beds and finds something sharp like a scalpel or something and without even thinking about it he just slices across his wrist. He freaks himself out and immediately heals his arm and sterilizes the scalpel and then runs back to his cabin to wake up kayla bc he needs to talk to somebody about this before he starts feeling worse about himself

nico isnt really depressed hes just had a bad life. he does have PTSD

let me tell u ptsd explains so much about nico im gonna list off some symptoms ok

agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation; flashbacks, fear, severe anxiety, or mistrust; loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt, or loneliness; insomnia or nightmares; emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts

I wasnt even going to list all of them i was going to leave some out but they all fit,,,,, so well,,,,,,,, i was also going to explain why for some of these but i kinda also feel like i dont need to

so when nico gets back from tartarus and things start to calm down is when a lot of these symptoms set in and tbh with like half of them people dont even notice a difference bc nico’s always been kinda hostile and irritable and isolated but its when he starts losing the interest to do anything is when people (will, probably) start to notice that somethings wrong

one of the main things he did was stop swordfighting for a little while but will and the other apollo kids help nico through a lot of stuff and chiron decides it would be a good idea for nico to start teaching a few low-level swordfighting classes to occupy his mind

thanks for the suggestion!!!

#ask #anonymous #solangelo #self harm tw

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vio1315 · 7 years

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OC ask: 19, 50

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

They all mean so much to me, particularly: Skye, Gill, Kydin, Marth, Ariella, and James. Of those, who should I pick, though?

I think I will say Gill, even though it’s hard to separate him from Skye in my mind by now.

He’s among the oldest OCs of the IRP crew, and he was probably the catalyst to a lot of things with my writing and characters.

He was the second guy character I ever remember having, he was in the first romance I’d ever written, and in the story, he causes a TON of very necessary change which led to the story finally falling away from Mary Sues and cliches that plagued it for the first arc.

Heh as plenty of his own cliches of course, but it feels a bit more refined by now, that they’re a bit more forgivable given that everything else has toned down.

I love his personality, because it’s somewhat relatable to me at parts, but also I think a lot of his personality stems from what I wish I was (I realize this years later, of course)

Gill is internally very timid, experiences shyness, and even maybe anxiety. He makes problems worse than they really are, and obsesses over what people think or say of him, because he deeply wants everyone to be happy with him. He wants to matter to others.

And thus leads into how he’s something of my ideal. He genuinely cares about every person they come across. He has his moments of absolute, unbridled fury, but those are few and far between (and usually beyond justified) but mostly, he concerns himself with the well being of even strangers, even people who’ve repeatedly abused him, and the like. He sees the good in everyone, and is extremely forgiving. This leads into some of his flaws of not just forgiving but saying ‘what they did was always okay’ but often it’s his strength.

To someone like me, I don’t even think his personality is that realistic, but I see evidence of such people, and so writing him is a very strange experience, but I very much love him for it. His personality makes him perhaps one of my most likeable OCs for me. It’s not any particular talent, skill, or humor or anything, it’s just his legitimate kindness and accepting nature. Gosh man, I just love it.

He’s also the OC that made me cry when I imagined him dying that one time, so y’know, pretty important :v

His relationship with other characters is always so interesting, and usually has really big impacts in the story. Despite his self worth issues, he’s seriously among the most capable of eliciting change within the group. Because he’s got the personality he does, they all have a pretty deep sense of respect for him /at least/, if not outright affection from Skye and eventually Marth.

And all the change he causes is through very lowkey things. He rarely does things with any huge bravado. He took the time to befriend and console Skye which had /huge/ impacts on her character. He offers a job to Kydin out of the blue, which pulls Kydin into being closer to Skye and thus have a far more stable and fulfilling time. He will often speak to Aura in a very consistently calm and accepting manner when she’s fuming, which generally at the very least doesn’t further agitate things (a big triumph, honestly) and is usually the voice of reason in very hectic situations, talking people down from anger or self hatred, or out of impulsive decisions.

The times when he gets angry are so wild, man. Like he’s not a super angry person, but certain things will really get to him very quickly and it’s crazy

I appreciate as well that he’s always been a smart character in addition to having a very intense focus on emotions of those around him. It’s not in spite of the fact at all, nor necessarily because of it, just two parts of him. His insights and advice have been extremely pivotal, and he doesn’t even realize it.

By the way, he’s probably one of my most courageous characters. He’ll always put himself between any villain/jerk and an innocent or beloved person. Always. He’s even stood up to his own father in this way, which takes as much courage as facing off the genocidal bad guy for him.

(Let me just mention he’s straight up told his dad that his dad is not to treat his kids the way he treated Gill as a child, and if he does, Gill will be sure he never sees them again. Gill has a lot of fear that comes out of respect for his dad, but he still does this stuff)

I just love him.

I will talk about him literally all day, someone stop me

He also adores his kids and wife and is like the Maes Hughes of IRP okay

50. Give me the good ol' OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Maybe I should just point to the above question and count that, because I went on for a very long time there :v

But heck, I’ll use it as an excuse to talk about Skye since I talked about Gill and it is just not permitted for one to be excluded like that.

Skye was the very first OC from IRP, and she got the worst of 15 year old me's inexperience with writing.

Luckily, though, she starts the story at 14 years old, so half of it can be attributed to that, and a lot of her development comes across as maturing with age, so that worked wonderfully.

She starts off as all cold and indifferent -crappy childhood or whatever lol- parents nowhere to be found, all that jazz. If IRP had ended in the first arc, she’d be like Silvia Greystone, just a silly memory of my youth.

A bit after she meets Gill, there ends up being a two year timeskip in things, and since then I’ve really developed what happened in those two years, but it was the most necessary thing for Skye’s character. It’s in those two years that those two befriend each other (largely in part to Gill’s patience with her and coughhugecrushcough) and it ends up being the first real link Skye’s had with another person in a long time. Aura in a sense had prepped her for this, but their friendship was never very deep, and extremely rocky and not what I’d call healthy (even now)

Coming out of the timeskip, Skye’s a much more open and friendly person, though still reserved and wary, but it opens her to the rest of the world. She becomes possible to influence by the experiences they all have, and more open to noticing what other people are going through and doing something about that.

As the arcs go on and things progress, Skye ends up being a very compassionate and driven person. She’s has a very subtle personality a lot of the time. She’s usually pretty calm and such, but she’ll quickly bubble up in excitement over things.

All in all, she actually feels emotions very deeply. Much more than I do. I think that’s part of why she can’t deal with Aura. (Btw Aura isn’t mine in case it’s been too long since I’ve mentioned that)

When Skye’s mad, she’s MAD, and it’ll cling to her for awhile and affect her judgment. When she’s sad, it runs very deep, and thus happy times are much more pleasant too. But Aura’s kind of a very stubborn person who will snap at people, which doesn’t play so well with that.

Particularly, Aura has a personality that only serves to aggravate Skye’s weaknesses.

Skye has matured a lot, but she still has a lot of fear about certain things, and easily can be talked into blaming herself.

One of her fears is absolutely involving losing the people around her to basically any circumstance, which is what keeps her with Aura even now, who only manages to make her self-blaming tendencies worse in their arguments... “arguments”

Skye tends to have a very good head about things, but Aura always gets to her.

One of Skye’s best strengths that comes in very handy with the political stuff she’s found herself in, is that when necessary, she can at least hide her emotions very well. She’s still very driven and directed by them, but she can really mask it. This is somewhat contrasted by Gill, who while being able to do this exceptionally well, does not have it come naturally even a little bit. In the end, this falls into the distinction between the types of smart these two are.

Gill is smart because he’ll read anything, and he generally hoards information and enjoys that, he’ll practice a skill to death because he was raised in a very academic sort of environment. A lot of things don’t come so naturally to him, and those are the things he generally dislikes (such as public speaking) despite having a very good ability in it.

Skye on the other hand has a more organic kind of intelligence. She also enjoys getting a lot of info, but she’s more choosey, only focusing on necessities or hobbies. But she’s much better at deducing things without knowing a thing about them. She sees patterns and reads between lines and can come to very accurate conclusions despite not actually having any knowledge about the matter. She’s also very fast. Gill needs time to process things or think over every possibility, and he’s very good at that, but Skye will be the one who comes to a decision instantaneously that almost seems as though she’s thought it over for a very long time.

This opens them both up to many strengths and weaknesses regarding how they think, but ultimately it makes them work very well together. Like if debate was a tag team sport, they’d be really set.

And I didn’t mention that Skye’s very playful, but she is. Have that info.

Did I ever mention that Gill inspires Skye to be a better person? Because he does. Even to this day. She’s grown to be very compassionate, but she’s still very inspired by Gill’s ‘just jump in and help people’ style of living life. (Don’t worry, Gill is super inspired by her quick wit and dedication)WHICH BY THE WAY

Skye is so dedicated and loyal. That’s probably her number one feature, honestly. She’s one of those people who once you befriend, will always be there. She super values her friends, and nothing is going to shake her from their side. I think this is even semi lowkey with her, too. She doesn’t really come in with heroes speeches while they fight the Big Bad or anything, but she very much jumps right to people’s side to defend them whenever someone’s verbally wrecking them (like you know those people who are really intelligent and like to go find less intelligent people to decimate in some kind of debate or something) she’s always that person you tag in posts like ‘hey you wanna take this up?’ who proceeds to come in with like 30,000 sources.

She’s also there in physical fights as good support. She’s taken the bullet for a lot of people, and she’ll never linger on that fact. The outcome is all that matters.

I think something strange to me is that Skye is probably as much of the main character as this story has, but it feels like the narrative takes to looking down on her a lot? -I usually blame Aura for this and frustrate myself :v -

But really, that works with how she’d see herself as well. She’s very much like my mom. She doesn’t necessarily have huge self esteem issues, but she always thinks of herself as nothing special or noteworthy. Gill, Marth,and Kydin think this is crazy talk and won’t hear of it.

I think there is a feeling of her being what keeps things held together despite just how in the background she is about so much of what she does. (She’s sometimes boasted in a joking way, but just as many times kind of insulted herself in a joking way)

Like when Gill’s wasting away with his work, she’ll come in to assist with it and work just as long and tirelessly. Or when outsiders threaten anything whatsoever, she gets very mama bear about it.

That’s something. Gill doesn’t take sides as much in conflicts that don’t involve him, he’ll try and talk both people down. Skye absolutely take sides and decides that the opposing person is a Problem. This sometimes makes conflicts more intense, but actually frequently resolves them when it comes to the more political situations. Not so much in the ‘two friends fighting’ situations. Those situations go baaaaaadly when she’s around.

I think it works better if I say it like ‘you might encounter Skye calmly reading something by the fire, at seeing you, she lights up, and enthusiastically tells you what she’s just read, and makes a few jokes. She eagerly awaits your reaction and seems encouraged by any positive reaction to keep up a fun and deep conversation. The more complicated the topic becomes, the more she seems pulled in and probably the faster and more animated she speaks’

whereas‘seeing you lose interest or show signs of a bad mood, she quickly deflates and looks a bit hurt herself. She changes the subject to one of the things you seem to have had an interest in lately with a smile, though she’s stopped making eye contact’

saying it that way feels like it makes more sense. (It should be noted she only acts that way with friends, she never speaks special interests with strangers)

Okay but I need to stop now

Wait.

She also loves her kids yo

and her dad

and her bro

and her husband

Life is good for her no matter how much she has to work now ^^)/

Sometimes I consider that she might end up developing a complex about how she views women because of how the only one in her family she doesn’t like is her mom, and her mom is a special kind of awful. Good thing she has a daughter so someone can break any subconscious feelings of that

#Vio's Personal #stop me #I can talk about them literally all day like...#I just got into it there for a second #Asking such open ended questions is dangerous man #but also thank you #you are wonderful and I appreciate it #rabbits-of-negative-euphoria

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