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ratspberry · 3 years

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many naruto thoughts head overloading

ok im only like 20 episodes into shippuden and i skipped a Lot of filler in original naruto bc i do not have the patience </3 (i will come back to the filler one day though) and while i love this anime theres so much i wish... was not written how it is

first of all sakura... i love her sm and i just wish her character was given some more care like at this point in shippuden im actually really enjoying the direction shes taken but i heard a lot of her growth is sidelined when sasuke comes back into the picture and thats my biggest issue. im sorry but if youre going to introduce a TRIO of main characters i want to see that main group equally fleshed out. first going all the way back to the beginning i wish that sakura was allowed to fight??? like we KNOW shes super smart and has powerful chakra so even when at that time she wasnt the most skilled fighter (as far as we KNOW at least. given that we barely got to see her fight who knows!) she couldve in the very least played a similar role to that of shikamaru as far as leadership and strategizing. and ok her crush on sasuke should have dissipated a lot more after the chunin exams. even though i do hate to see her spend so much time fawning over sasuke when hes not even particularly kind to her i think a crush in the beginning could still work IF the moment of her cutting her hair (“sasuke likes girls with long hair”) and her battle w ino during the chunin exams were like an eye-opening moment for her when she was like “wtf am i doing i am going to work hard as a ninja to prove that i can do this to MYSELF and MY RIVAL first” (which. ok she does get to this point later and again i love her learning chakra and getting strong as HELL during her training w tsunade but again. i want to see that REMAIN parallel to the enormous power level leaps that sasuke and naruto make. also let sakura and ino have a fun friendship rivalry that has nothing to do w sasuke) . i think it would be better if she naruto and sasuke were just friends who ALL help and motivate each other. and so when sasuke leaves sakura is STILL super fucked up over it and maybe even has a hard time trusting naruto again after he comes back? (but ofc she eventually does bc power of friendship) like IDK loss of one best friend, then almost immediately after your other best friend (who u just learned secretly is sealed w the nine tails and the akatsuki is after him just like orochimaru was after sasuke) leaves you for THREE YEARS??? kind of a salt in the wound moment! also im simply not even going to touch on all the comphet marriages in the end

next im going to talk about rock lee my friend rock lee who i adore. anyways he either should not have foregone the surgery from tsunade or died from it. HEAR ME OUT! this surgery was good in showing how powerful tsunade is as a healer but like? was it necessary? after she brought naruto back to life??? as far as lees characterization his whole thing is that he may not have special jutsu or the same prodigal abilities as his peers but he can still be as powerful or more powerful! and idk i hate when characters have serious life changing stuff done to them and not seeing it fully explored in the story. like ok so we’ve got tsunade telling lee (who cant be older than 12? 13?) theres a 50/50 chance he’ll die in the surgery to heal him. and then guy ENCOURAGES HIM, HIS FAVORITE STUDENT, to go through with the surgery so he could then go on to be a ninja and continue risking his life?????? so i thought that was pretty screwed up. which leads me to the two paths that i think would be interesting to see play out: 1. lee doesnt get the surgery, but continues to train as a ninja. his injuries still exist but lee learns to fight WITH the injuries and creates a really cool badass unique fighting style and goes on to be a great ninja like he dreamed 2. lee dies in surgery. id hate it i would and i dont WANT lee to die but it might be a fuckin wakeup call to all these adult ninjas urging kids into warfare. lee is beloved by all so it would be a good moment of pause for everyone to think like “ummm so the systems that be are kind of majorly fucked up.”

those are the two main ideas i had but heres a few misc things:

-jiraiya can be the author of as many trashy romance novels as he wants but him hitting on younger women and being like a peeping tom and UGH the way he was introduced w narutos ‘sexy jutsu’ is just. not good. take it out.

-let tsunade look her age. like the whole “she uses her chakra to make herself look young”? i dont buy it. i dont care that you just didnt feel like drawing a woman who looks over 20. you will do it anyways bc i said so.

-i dont dislike n/ruhina as much as i dislike s/susaku bc at least its clear theres a mutual respect and admiration there but hinata, like sakura, has so much more potential to be explored. idk if its looked at in filler or later in shippuden (id sure hope so) but i think her parallel to sasuke is kind of interesting? both have intimidating, extremely powerful older brothers (i know neji is technically hinatas cousin or smth but whatever older brother figures. also i know hinatas sister is also supposed to be super powerful but idk her yet) who are held in high esteem by their families and have all this pressure on their shoulders to want to surpass them? given that neji didnt um. do the things itachi did clearly its not the SAME between hinata and sasuke but i feel like examining the hyuga family dynamics would be SO interesting in comparison to sasukes arc. i didnt mind seeing hinata motivated by naruto the first few times but like. there is SO MUCH MORE THERE than JUST hinatas relationship to naruto.

-all of these kids need therapy but ESPECIALLY sasuke like the signs were there. halfway thru the bell test thing SUPER early on sasuke went into a full-fledged “i am an avenger.. i have to kill a certain someone” monologue and given the fact that everyone knows his entire clan was killed and that sasuke is likely VERY traumatized... who thought it was a good idea to let him become a ninja before addressing any of that. my god. like i love kakashi and i know he has his own devestating backstory and that hes a product of the system but why the Fuck would he let sasuke take the chunin exams. give team 7 a year more of training and getting to know each other and give sasuke some time to create bonds and maybe even open up emotionally and begin to heal and then MAYBE we can THINK ab chunin exams.

-asuma and ino apologize to choji for telling him not to eat as much challenge? did asuma not know that chojis clan uses food to replenish their chakra? it would make sense if ino didnt know but chojis teacher?? either way still p fucked, leave choji alone

-speaking of ino i want more of her character tok. why was she not included in that mission to save sasuke that shikamaru, her TEAMMATE, led?? was there an explanation for that?? i feel like her not being there was a missed opportunity for some real growth/bonding between team 10.

-speaking of the last bullet point shikamaru being like “ugh women 🙄” is tired and boring. very misogynistic “i hate my wife” facebook dad humor. cut that shit out

-orochimarus coding and his whole um. intent as a villain is just very. Hm. i dont think i like that very much but im not going to go into it bc im sure its been touched upon a million times

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snoohobbies9741 · 3 years

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It was mid-August and my doctor had prescribed me some weed for medicinal reasons. I decided that for my first time, I needed to do it in the fresh, outside air. I left my place late at night and went to a nearby park in my town, on a night where it was especially frigid. Yet it seemed my body was cold from the inside, almost like my body was warning me, instilling fear in me. I should've listened, should've turned back. I tried some and at first I didn’t feel anything. I took more and more, against the advice of others. Then I felt it. The bodily dissociation, the contemplation of reality that is so cliche for stoners. I felt this urge to just relax. I slid further into my plastic chair, somehow feeling comfortable. The chair seemed to form to the contours of my body where anyone else would've cursed at how uncomfortable it was. Its surface, normally scratchy, felt silk smooth. I was content and at ease. But then a thought creeped up, slithering from the recesses of my brain: “It’s gonna happen again. You’re falling asleep because of the drugs. JUST. LIKE. LAST. TIME.” I panicked. Those thoughts that quietly whispered “danger, danger” now rushed to the forefront, screaming and screaming like a fucking banshee. Emotion filled me as did fear. I started profusely sweating, suddenly aware of every facet of my body. My eyes felt the strain from me widening them as much as possible, fighting to stay awake. My legs were straining to keep my body up after I was walking back and forth, while simultaneously shaking my arms and hands like a crack addict feeling ants on his arms. I ended up sobbing in my friend’s arms that night, begging him not to let me fall asleep again, not like before. I slept with a pulsometer on my finger, a device measuring the amount of oxygen in my body to ensure I didn’t have excess CO2. All in all, the worst night I ever had.

These feelings and panic attacks are from last year, where I went through the most traumatic thing in my life. Because of some medical conditions involving excess co2 in my body, I fell asleep and doctors kept me sedated for a week in the hospital. This was a highly alarming development. Carbon dioxide in a high enough capacity is toxic for our bodies, which is why we have to expel it. Too much could cause the body to go into a coma. I wasn't at that point, but I wasn't that far behind. My lungs were barely working, since they were ravaged by pneumonia while simultaneously struggling to expel the CO2 in my body. In order to give my lungs a rest, the doctors put me on ECMO, a machine that would allow my lungs to rest and recover. But this isn't some wonder machine. While it solves one problem, too much reliance on it can create other problems. Once you are put on it, you have a 50% chance of coming out the other end, the other 50% being death. I was hooked up to numerous instruments which is why I was sedated so as not to take the chance of me messing up the fragile instruments. While sedated, I was partially lucid and could hear people, but I had no idea what was going on. I could hear my parents and doctors occasionally, only hearing parts of conversations, nothing very helpful though.

It was like the guy in the song "One" by Metallica. He was a veteran and he had been gravely injured by a bomb where because of it, he was effectively quadriplegic while also unable to see or speak. I could hear and think but I couldn't move, talk, or even open my eyes. I had terrifying dreams, nightmares that I couldn't wake up from. I remember mentally screaming, clawing my way out, however futile. As a way to comfort me, my mom put in earbuds and played two of my favorite songs. But they were on loop. For two or three days. I reached a new level of insanity.

Eventually, I woke up and although it was traumatic and all that, I tried to suppress it. I had bigger fish to fry, needed to get better and such. I couldn't let this setback, this moment of weakness, define me. Screw it. This was normal behavior for me; it was habitual for a kid who was born with numerous disabilities and surgeries that outnumbered them. It was my norm.

Fast forward a year, and I'm making tremendous progress. I'm in college and I'm passing my classes. But my trauma is still in the back of my brain, "What if you fall asleep like that again? What if you don't wake up again?" But I ignore it the best I can.

I've been told that I needed to let the trauma run its course, to learn to live with it. I’ve been told to just avoid weed, and that I was simply acting paranoid, nothing to worry about. I’ve been chastised for using marijuana, and have been asked what was I thinking. I've been told that the weed opened my mind and was trying to show me something that I needed to face. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted this trauma to leave me alone, to let me live a somewhat normal life, not that I had one to begin with as a disabled person.

Eventually, I got past it. Or started to. Mostly what that means for me, is that I acknowledged my trauma and my pain. I stopped viewing it as a moment of weakness. I stopped feeling guilty for putting my family and friends through something so emotionally traumatizing, especially for my younger siblings and my parents. I started realizing the good things that came from it. I gained a best friend, one that I wouldn’t have had, had I not gone through what I did. I’m more prepared to face college and to learn the lessons that are beyond the textbooks, something I know the person from two years ago would’ve had a much harder time learning. I unintentionally gained a gap year, though not an ideal one. I also gained a new outlook on life, one that appreciates each day a little more. I realized the fragility of life but not in a way that I was fixated on it. For after all, something is not beautiful because it lasts forever. It’s fragility gives it meaning.

Going through trauma does not necessarily make us weaker or stronger. It simply forces us to change. It’s up to us to decide what direction we go. As a wise friend once told me, the path to recovery is not linear. It’s a journey, sometimes with a one step forward, two steps back scenario. You’re going to fail some days. You’re going to struggle and anyone who convinces themselves otherwise, like myself, has not chosen to face reality yet. Your situation doesn’t have to be as severe as mine, or it could be infinitely worse. Every one of us carries different burdens and goes through different experiences. What matters is what we choose to do when we get those setbacks, those times where we just want to lay in our bed and cry until we fall asleep. Those times where we drag ourselves to the gym and hit the punching bag until our knuckles bleed. Those times where we screamed and screamed at the world. Do we stay angry? We can. I did. And I used that anger to move on, to not let this dictate how my life will be run. I’ve come farther because of it. Use whatever you want to motivate you. As long as you’re moving, you’re growing, conquering that trauma little by little. It will take time, sure. But time heals all wounds.

“A smooth sea has never made a skillful sailor”- Unknown

#trauma

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isobel-thorm · 4 years

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Don't kill me, but all the fruits for grant and alistair please 💕

Also just noticed @troyebakers asked for all for Grant too, so here y’all are:

Let me apologize to mobile users now bc this is probably just gonna be a giant wall of strewn together nonsense for them. Switching around the order of the questions to make it flow a fair bit better.

🍍 : how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height, weight, strength, and body type? how important is being attractive to them?

🍑 : how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance? do they spend a lot of time on their hair, makeup, grooming, and clothing? is there a particular reason why they do or don’t? Grant: Grant is basically okay with how he looks. He doesn’t exactly like his appearance, but he doesn’t hate it either, nor does he think it’s that important. The only thing he’ll really fuss over is his hair, and his idea of fussing is brushing it but letting the bedhead win a lot of the time. Same goes with how he dresses- if a pair of jeans and T-shirt are discarded on the floor one night and they’re not in bad condition/they don’t smell, he’ll wear them again. Alistair: He’s a little fussy with it. He knows most people find him attractive but he’s not that invested in it. Living for multiple centuries does that to a guy. He’ll make sure he’s neatly put together daily and that’s that. He does usually try to dress nicely though. His casual is a nice sweater, well-fitting leather jacket and dark jeans. He tends to call it ‘professorly.’

🍅 : how does my muse feel about plastic / cosmetic surgeries & procedures? is it something they have done or would do? do they mind if others do it? Both: Both of them are usually in the “why do people do that, it’s not necessary, people age, it’s a fact of life” side of things- with Alistair noting “except for me” in that last bit. They’d never dream about getting anything done themselves.

🍏 : how stable is my muse’s physical health? do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician? do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication? how often do they get sick?

🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy? Grant: He’s usually physically healthy and tries to stay that way. Mentally, he’s a mess and tries to get help, but it’s not lost on him that talking with Nic and getting hugs from her works better for him than an actual therapist half the time. Alistair: Fit as a fiddle permanently, if you don’t count the whole living undead thing. He’s also fairly mentally stable himself, and he’s had a vested interest in Psychology the last century, which helps things.

🍒 : how much does my muse value companionship? do they constantly keep people around them, or do they prefer to be alone often? do they have or desire to have many friends? do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend? Grant: After what happened during his time as a soldier, Grant got it in his head that he was bad luck for anyone around him, so he tried to stay solo for as long as possible and didn’t actively make friends. Enter Nic and Matthew/John, and it was another story. They didn’t really give him an active chance to tell them to leave him alone so they wormed their way into his heart, which helped his mental state so he was able to pursue a friendship with them and then a relationship with M/J, which healed him enough where he was a little more outgoing/willing to meet and befriend other people. Alistair: Nearly the same deal. He was also fairly anti-friends because people only usually gave him the time of day to get in his family’s good graces. He was very apprehensive about making friends because he figured once they got what they wanted they’d leave him, considering that happened a lot. And then Kat and the others came along and made him feel wanted, and while he still has that distrust of people outside that group, he would die (again) for every single person in their friend circle.

🍇 : how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood? Grant: He had a lonely childhood, his parents did take care of him, but were also fairly neglectful and paid more attention to their business than him. When the whole ‘bi but leaning more towards being romantically interested in men’ thing came to pass his parents sent him off to live with his gay uncles which ended up being the best experience of his life because he finally got active attention/parental figures who genuinely cared about his day or interests for once. The first half of that, however, prepared him a lot for his self-exile after coming home from overseas, but it also planted the idea that there was a silver lining somewhere in life, which he found in his friends. The only way he’d want to relive his childhood is if he was with his uncles the entire time. Alistair: Looking back, Alistair acknowledges that his mother raised him to be a spineless, pompous ass. Him becoming a full vampire/getting some distance from the family when he turned thirty was the turning point where he acknowledged that ‘oh hey, a lot of this shit is messed up.’ He wouldn’t relive his childhood at all.

🍐 : how intelligent is my muse overall? are they smarter than the average person, or less than? are they primarily self-taught, or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school? are they more street smart or book smart? Grant: He never went to college, he joined the Army straight out of high school, so he’s got an extremely basic… standard education. He’s more street smart than anything, and considering That Day, he got a lot of “that’s the how the world works, it’s unfair” type lessons from that tragedy. Alistair: He’s extremely intelligent. He went to college for law, but in the centuries since he’s found modern law is a little too corrupt for his liking, so he went into veterinary science and then studied Psychology on his own just to pass the time.

🍉 : which of the four seasons suits my muse best, and why? Both: Winter. Their personalities and wardrobes match it more, and they both enjoy the aesthetic of it the most.

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them? Both: Will help others at the drop of a hat for entirely selfless reasons. They both figure they’ve got awful pasts to make up for, and if little acts of kindness and paying it forward is how they can go about it, so be it. 🍊 : does my muse desire romance? is it something they would actively seek out, or prefer to happen more ‘ naturally? ’ what is their love life like? do they have any exes or past flings, or crushes? Grant: Was very anti-love/anti-thinking-he-deserved love, but then Matt/John came along and was charming and nice and patient and his heart was all “alright get your shit together because T H I S O N E I S F O R Y O U.” Because of that, he’s an absolute mush with his LIs, which is a surprise to everyone outside his immediate friend circle because “wait the stoic guy likes cuddling and talking with faces a couple of inches apart and getting all romantic on holidays?” Alistair: Got his heart shattered into pieces by his first love early in his life, so he was reluctant to ever start anything romantic ever again, but then he fell for Kat platonically, which kick-started his heart back up to be willing to go pursue someone romantically - and then said heartbreaker comes crashing back into his life and then it’s a 50/50 clusterfuck again and he’s not quite sure what to do. 🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them? Grant: Doesn’t give a damn about his bad stoic/wide/intimidating reputation. He’s not here to be judged, and if people wanna judge a book by its cover, fine, that’s not his problem. He’s got a handful of friends who love him because they bothered to get to know him, he’s invested in them. Alistair: Used to care very strongly about reputation and yearned to be alluring/scary/intimidating all at once, but he learns that was a lot of his mother’s influence, so he goes out of his way to nice people to death so he gets a far more welcome, warm, friendly reputation to make sure it sticks. It makes him stop caring about it so actively/doesn’t make it a staple in his life anymore.

🥝 : does my muse have any ‘ unusual ’ habits, interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it? Grant: Nothing special at allAlistair: He’s a hemophobic vampire, so he doesn’t go out on hunts with his family- nor does he feed on humans unless it’s necessary. He uses his resources as a vet to ‘feed’ on animals- where he’ll only feed feed if there’s a time crunch, but even then he only takes a standard blood test’s amount and tries to make it last- and he’ll even coach the animal through it, promising that he means it no harm, they’ll be safe in a minute, “Awww, we’re done, see, that wasn’t so bad. Good job, here’s some extra biscuits/cat treats/veggies, you did so well.”

🍋 : what kind of diet does my muse have? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others? do they cook, or have others cook for them? do they eat healthily, or not so much? Grant: Unless depression is kicking his ass, he’ll eat balanced meals regularly, with the usual 3x a day. If he does have a day of depression where he misses a meal or so when Nic or John/Matthew is around, they’ll notice and try not to be too forceful about it but they’ll also make a meal with him and try to goad him into eating it, and it usually works. Alistair: Also keeps up with regular meals 3x a day, considering he tries to make human food work as much as possible to avoid interacting with blood in any capacity. If worse comes to worse he’ll cook up/order a super bloody steak and have it, wincing all the while.

🥭 : how important to my muse is their hometown, or where they’re from? are they proud of it, or considered a hometown hero? did they move away, or do they wish to?Grant: Grew up in Texas, and mentioned, he hated it so he avoids going back. He considers Wyoming/his uncles’ ranch home and would live there if he could, but then the job in Hope County came along, and he sticks there for a while and he’s happy, but maaaayyyybbbeee he’d consider dropping hints to John/Matthew that settling back in Wyoming could be nice if they’d be up for it. He’d be okay if they weren’t, though. They could always vacation there, and it’s enough. Alistair: Grew up in the downtown area of [CITY REDACTED] and has a hate/love relationship with it, so when Kat comes along and he joins that crew where they’re on the outskirts of town by the bay, he absolutely falls in love with the weird suburbia feel and makes plans to move there nearly immediately.

#Deputy Grant #Alistair Hardy #amistrio

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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01/25/2020 DAB Transcript

Genesis 50:1-Exodus 2:10, Matthew 16:13-17:9, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 5:1-6

Today is the 25th day of January, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you at the end of another one of our weeks. And this is actually the final weekend of the first month of the year. So, well done. And as we end this week there's also another special line that we’re gonna cross. Today, we will conclude the first book of the Bible, the book of Genesis and then begin the book of Exodus. So, well done! And let's get to it. Let’s conclude the book of Genesis and then we'll talk about the book of Exodus as we begin it. But first, Genesis chapter 50, which is the final chapter of the book. And we’ll conclude the story of Joseph.

Introduction to the Book of Genesis:

Okay, so that concludes the book of Genesis and the book of Genesis concludes with the conclusion of the story of Joseph. So, what we have started at the very beginning, right, when we started on January 1st, the first words of the Bible were, “in the beginning.” So, we started at the beginning, we got a glimpse of how things were always intended to be for us. We saw how that got blown apart. We saw separation from God be introduced into the human story and then we watched humans try to use the knowledge of good and evil to essentially glorify themselves so that they could be their own God, which is what the serpent essentially tried to promise them, but we watched that disintegrate and fall apart completely until everyone's heart was evil and the world was flooded, which took us to the story of Noah. As we continued to journey forward, we met a man named Abram whose…his name was changed to Abraham and he entered into a covenant with God. God selected Abram changed his name to Abraham and then said, “I'm starting over with you. I'm going to create a people set apart unto me on this earth among all of the other people who bear my image, but who have rejected me and embraced separation. Through you. I'm going to create a people set apart as mine and through you will be the light to the world and all the nations will be blessed.” So, in other words God’s saying, “we’ve tried a few things but this knowledge of good and evil inside the heart of man is corrupting him utterly. So, I'm going to create a people of my own through Abram, Abraham. So, Abraham didn’t have any kids. We know that. He had a child in his old age, the son of promise named Isaac. And we went through all of that story. Isaac then had sons, Jacob and Esau. We went through that story of conniving and deception by Jacob and it certainly was revisited upon him. He did reap what he sowed but in the end Jacob's name became Israel. Alright. And, so, his children then are the children of Israel of which Joseph was one of them. And Joseph was trafficked into Egypt as we know. But that is how the children of Israel got to Egypt. And, so, we close Genesis at that point. Now we’re about to pick up the second book of the Bible.

And Exodus picks up this very same story, we’re just moving centuries into the future as we pick it up. So, these original children of Israel, the actual children who became tribes of Israel had...had certainly died. We’re centuries into the future, but their offspring had flourished in Egypt. They had become as numerous as the stars in the heavens, which is what God promised Abraham. But this flourishing that was happening was happening in Egypt and we’re centuries in the future and Joseph is forgotten and the Egyptians began to fear the numbers of the Hebrews and to fear their loyalty. So, like I said, Joseph's forgotten and they don't necessarily remember that he had saved them from devastation centuries in the past. So, Israel's children were enslaved. And the new Pharaoh of Egypt wanted to curb and control the explosion of population among the Hebrews. So, his version of population control was to demand that the Hebrew midwives would literally…would throw every boy, every baby boy that was born into the Nile River and the girls could live. And this…this, among other things certainly cause the Hebrew people, the children of Israel, Jacob's children, they cried out to God. And there was a baby and he was a boy and he was supposed to be thrown into the Nile River, but instead he was…he was put into the Nile River in a basket and then his little sister kinda watched from a distance to kinda watch out for him while he's technically in the Nile River. But he's being saved. This little boy's name is Moses and we will be journeying with Moses for quite a while. And as it turns out, this little basket that had this little baby in it was discovered by the daughter of Pharaoh and he was given the name Moses. And, so, he was a Hebrew who had been raised as an Egyptian and we will watch that story unfold as we now begin the second look at the Bible, the book of Exodus.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You, we thank You, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for bringing us these 25 days into this new year all the way to the last weekend of this first month. And we acknowledge, time, it moves by quickly, but as we established this rhythm, it strengthens us, it encourages us, it gives us wisdom for the road ahead. And, so, we thank You for all that You've done in our lives as we’ve journey through the book of Genesis, all that You are doing as we move through the first Gospel of Matthew. And we invite Your Holy Spirit as we release this week into our history and look forward to the next, that we would be aware of Your presence in all things. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, its the website, its where you find out what's going on around here. And there's always something or another going on. So, be sure to check that out.

Stay connected on social media. If you're on social media stay connected to the Prayer Wall. Pray for your brothers and sisters.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. And I thank you with all of my heart for your partnership. So, there's a link on the homepage. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial or you can just press the Hotline button, the little red hotline in the app at the top, you can't miss it, and just start sharing from there.

And that is…that’s it for this week friends and that's it for today. I love you I'm Brian and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible listeners my name is Brent. I was encouraged to call by Ben from Ohio. I’m the guy that’s been on the fence from calling in. Anyway, I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for eight years. I’ve been a Christian since I was a young child and I talk to God all day long every day but I struggle from an addiction to prescription pain medicine that I used to take for my back but I now take for the euphoric feeling that I used to feel before I built up a tolerance. So, I end up taking too many and running out two weeks before my refill is due, and it’s been a vicious cycle and has destroyed my marriage. I’m still married but my wife and I don’t talk very much anymore, and I need deliverance from this stronghold. And I ask that you will pray that God will free me from this bondage. That’s about it. Thank you.

While happy new year family this is Biola calling from Maryland. I actually had to call even though I’m recovering from tooth surgery and my cheek looks as if a chipmunk hid a nut or two in it. Pray for me when you think of me for full recovery. But I had to call in because I heard Kimberly, Yvonne, and Victoria Soldier. I had to call into pray for you. Kimberly I am so sorry for what you’ve gone through. Father Lord I pray for Your daughter. You are the one that comforts oh God Lord and heels. I pray that You will heal Kimberly completely oh God emotionally oh God Lord Father even spiritually. I pray that You will give her a heart oh God even to forgive these people oh God and release them even though I know it’s very difficult. But Lord You said oh God Lord that when we do forgive its freeing. Father God I pray that You will heal her from PTSD in the name of Jesus. Father every part oh God that the devil is using to harass this woman oh God Father I put a stop to it right now and I command it to cease and desist in the name of Jesus set her free Lord. In Jesus name give us her sleep oh God in the name of Jesus. Yvonne…Yvonne my sister I heard Your prayer request regarding Your children. You know it is comforting what happened to the prodigal son. The prodigal son’s dad just kept waiting, waiting proudly praying for him and that is a picture of our Lord. You are not responsible for their choices, but I know as a mother myself I know how You feel. So, keep praying for them. Father Lord I pray that You will draw Yvonne’s children back to You. Arrest their hearts oh God Lord in the name of Jesus. Father let them turn their way even from darkness back into light in the name of Jesus. Lastly Victoria soldier so sorry for Your cousin. I pray that God will comfort You in Your loss in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community I just wanted to call and pray for Brian this morning. This is Darby in Georgia. And Brian I just…I was thinking about meeting today in Genesis 39 and I think it’s verse 22 or 23 where God just he…he was with Joseph. It’s all about Joseph and being put in prison. And I think with depression and anxiety you can feel as if you’re in a prison, that you’re in a pit. But Joseph lived as if God was with him because he was. And at that right time God brought him out of the pit and raised him up so that he could not only be free of that but also be a blessing to many others. And I just pray today that God would give you hope, that God would fill you with a sense of his nearness even though you said you feel like He’s far from you, He is not. And I know I’m not the only one that’s been provoked by just your hopelessness today. I just pray that God would just give you a sense through His Holy Spirit that He is near to you, He is not far. And God, fill him with hope, fill Brian with hope and let him choose to live this day as if You were with him. Give him direction, give him wisdom, and surround him with others Lord who will help to fill him with hope and to see You and to raise his head up and look for You and find You. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Hi this is Linda calling from Folsom California and I’m a first-time caller and wanted to call. Today’s date is 1/19 and I just listened to the prayers for today and I’ve been meeting to call for a long time. I’ve been a listener for about five years. And Ben, I’m just going to thank you and do a callout for pushing us to call because I’d wanted to call again today and your prayer of “just call” has…has prompted this. So, I thank you but today I’m really calling about Brian. My brother, I heard your prayer today. I heard your anguish and feeling depression and problems in your marriage and lack of memory and I just want you to know you’re not alone. I...it’s been for me about 15 - 20 years, that I had to because of my depression have a ECT which…that’s the electroconvulsive shock therapy. And, so, since then I have suffered not only the disease of bipolar but with lack of…loss of memory and how frustrating. I do know…I do know what that feels like and I want you to know how much God loves you and it can be frustrating but continue in the blood of Christ. Remember how much He loves you and wants to be with you. Let Him…let Him and don’t shoot Him…don’t shut Him out by telling Him that you don’t feel Him. He loves you. He is inside of you. I also want to do a shout out that I am praying for Diana and Burning Bush. That was such great news. Welcome with your citizenship and I’m so glad to hear about your sister. Love you all.

Hi Daily Audio Bible this is Kylie calling from Brooklyn New York. I’m a first-time caller. I’ve been listening since 2018. I just…I heard some calls today. I’m reaching out for new listeners who haven’t called in before and I was super touched, and I was grinning really widely on the train. So, I just wanted to say that this community has been a family to me since I stepped foot into it in October. Even just by listening I have been met in places I never thought I could be met in by this community. So, thank you. It’s like a hug every day listening to you. Be well and talk soon.

Good evening DABbers this is Running Desperately to Jesus calling for you Diana. I have started and stopped calling on the prayer line so many times because I feel I don’t know what to say to you but then God let me know that you need to her know by His stripes you are healed. To be healed down here on earth or in eternity, but the ultimate is that you are going to be healed. Your boys will be taken care of. God has them in the palm of His hand. He will honor your request because you have been faithful to Him Diana. You have been faithful, you have taken His word and made it into rhymes and poems so that it…it touches everyone’s heart. Your legacy is here. Your boys will be taken care of. Diana, we love you, I love you. I desire to see you in person. I don’t…I don’t know what else to say. My heart wants to cry but at the same time I’m happy because I know that this whole thing, cancer does not have dominion over you. I love you Diana. Running Desperately to…

Hello, my name is Claire and I’m calling from Canada. I am a longtime listener and first-time collar. I just want to say that I’ve been praying for everybody all these years. Everybody I hear call in, I pray with you and I’m just glad that you guys do call in. I did want to mention the guy that was running, that he just started listening as a podcast. I thought that…just…it made me so happy to hear that because I pray for the salvation and that people would start listening to the Daily Audio Bible all the time. And anyways, I want to call in because I have a friend and this is probably running prevalent through a lot of people’s lives, but I had a friend that’s been injured, he’s had crones for many years. We’ve been friends for 20 years and he’s really suffered. He is a believer but it’s the crones, they ended up putting him on painkillers when he went through surgery and after that he became addicted to them. And anyways, he’s living with my mother now and we’re trying to get him into detox and the enemy really has, you know, a grip on him emotionally and spiritually and I just, you know, want to ask, you know, everybody to please pray for him as, you know, he is really fighting a battle and, you know…I’m sorry but it’s just, you know, I don’t…I…I really want to see him healed once and for all. And just so you know I’m praying for all the people that are dealing with sicknesses and cancer right now and all these kinds of things. I am standing in prayer with all of you as well. So…I didn’t want to cry or anything but be blessed everyone and thank you for this podcast. It’s an amazing gift to my day. Thank you. Bye for now.

Hello Daily Audio Bible community I’m calling in today because I just listened this morning and Ben from Columbus Ohio encouraged those of us who have been reticent to call in to just get on it and do it. And, so, here I am. I’m going into my 10th year with the Daily Audio Bible and I’ve been praying for all of you this whole time, just never called in myself. But I just wanted to share a praise report. Over the last…some of the things you’ve shared with me and my wife of the last 10 years even though you didn’t know you were sharing them with us, you were. So, we’re both soldiers in the U.S. Army and the last 10 years both of our children were born. We’ve done seven moves, we’ve done 23 month-long training deployments, we’ve done two combat deployments between two of us. We’ve done two noncombat deployments between the two of us. The year before this last job I’ve had I did 190 days on business travel over that one year. We did to master’s degrees and then we both got selected to command at the next level. Her unit that’s about 4000 people, mine is about 600…well 640 exactly today. I am currently on one of those noncombat deployments right now. And here comes…that was the praise report, here comes the prayer request. Reintegration with my family, looking at that in about 30 days. I’ve spent a lot of time away from them training and being deployed over the last 3 to 4 years and I need to be the person they need me to be. I need them…I need them to just see Jesus through my actions when we get back under the same roof. So, that’s…sometimes it’s more difficult coming back from all that time separated and living apart but just help when we’re back together and living under the same roof together. All right. I love you all. Thanks.

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confusedsmoulder · 5 years

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Monthly summaries for September

September was a month that had a lot going on and I am happy to relay that October will be a little bit more relaxed. We have a couple of fun things that we have planned. During this time we are encouraging tying up any loose ends that you may still have.

At the beginning of the month we bared witness to the destruction of Hell’s Kitchen. This was due to the hand of the Jester whom after loosing Jingles has faded into the back ground but swears he will be back for more fun in the future.

The trial of Loki occurs. Loki is on trial for moving Asgard to Midgaurd. Asgard unfortunately was put right on top of Atlantis.

The Trial:

Opening statements occur and it is obvious that the air in the room is thick.

Matt Murddock:

“Let’s get the obvious out of the way: I wish I could say it was good to see you this morning, but I can’t. I’m blind. I’m an unconventional choice of representation for a woman who has enough money and power and resources to hire whomever she wants. The opposition wants to paint a picture of her as some power hungry, war-mongering, not-of-this-world invader who intended harm to Earth. And before you say oh she picked you because you’re cut from the same cloth...Remember: She didn’t hire me for this grand of a stage. The world maybe even interplanetary stage. She hired me because she needed someone who knew Hell’s Kitchen. She wanted to change a neglected, poor, crime ridden section of city that’s seen better days. I grew up there. I was blinded there. And I have fought —quite literally— for it to be a better. And she’s tried to help it. Not just Hell’s Kitchen but countless cities. Is she perfect? No. But we’re not trying to prove that. We’re going to prove she is what she says she is: Someone who cares. Someone who has never intended the world harm. No. She is someone who has tried to prevent violence and harm. She is loyal and loving to those she believes in and has constantly striven to be better. Loki Odinson is many things but guilty is not one of them.”

Lucianna Felix:

"As we gather here I would like to remind everyone in the room that Atlantis has lost up to 80% of there population due to Asgard being moved into its current location. 75% of Atlantis is currently struggling to rebuild and it has lost a far amount of its history and historical land markings do to this. Atlantis although not recognized outside of myth until recently is protected under the unknown lands protection act that was established a couple of years ago under section D35 where it mentions that lands containing sentient beings that have been located on Earth for more than 50 years are placed under the UN protection clause. Seeing as Loki had not asked to move Asgard onto the earth without going through the proper space approval channels. We are pursuing the harshest punishment possible in light of her crimes. I would like to also remind the court that Loki refers to herself as the 'Ruler of the Nine' which includes the Earth or as they phrase it on Asgard: midgaurd. Looking at her actions it is highly plausible that she feels she is above all laws and jurisdictions. Just some food for thought."

As the trial continues Matt Murddock finishes his questioning of Stephen Strange. Stephen makes a strong case of Loki’s character that is nearly unshakable. Lucianna Felix shows Stephen Strange a phone number to see if he can I identify it as Kate Bishops which he was able too. There are several text messages on the phone to Silkie Va’nora detailing how she was now related to Garth which meant that Loki was now her sister and how Stephan and Garth were the best parents she ever had. Seeing this the court takes some of what Stephen Strange has to say in consideration although viewed as heavily biased. The facts are reviewed by the court during a brief recess.

Seeing as Stephen Strange was the only witness to Loki’s character the three judges have Loki stand and plead her case in better explanation to the court. Loki taking the stand pleads her case talking more so towards the other leaders in the room rather than the court itself feeling she had a better chance of swaying them. After stepping down from the stand Loki takes her place with her family and her lawyer. The judges then request other countries to plead their stance on what Loki had done.

Wakanda’s stance is that if it was the last option that they would have done so, however they would have went through and picked a location that wouldn’t be in the way or an issue along with going through the proper channels.

Themiscyra’s stance is that they would have done what Loki had done and felt that if anyone was put in her situation that they would have done so. Proper channels or not if it was life or death of a nation or if they felt incoming threats that they couldn’t protect themselves from it would be done. If they had the ability to do so at least.

Atlantis’s stance is that they would not have done so. It is obvious that the king’s son does not agree to this with the look on his face however he stays very quiet.

With these statements the court goes into another recess for deliberation. Once they are settled in court the Judges ask Loki to stand. Loki is found guilty however they have the most sympathetic judge speak.

-Asgard is to be moved although it is allowed to remain on the Earth seeing that it is already here they can’t just ask for Asgard to go back to it’s realm. It is moved to be floating above the earth’s ocean the Atlantic. It will not receive tourism do to it’s distance above the Earth.

-Loki is not acknowledged as The All Nine

-Asgard is to help rebuild Atlantis and supply funds if needed.

-Loki is seen as unfit to be put in any ruling position be it political or figure head.

-Loki is not imprisoned seeing as a few countries and hidden societies would have done the same in her position if their hand as forced and they had the ability.

The Fake Civil War:

After the trial Loki does not release a statement and changes her appearance to remain unnoticed for the time. She avoids the press and lays low with her family. Tony on the other hand…

Standing in front of the camera’s Tony clenches his fists not being 100% healed from his resent secret surgery. He wears make up to seem less sickly than he actually is. Looking a cross the sea of camera’s and media excited to hear from Iron man himself, Tony waits watching the room hush enough to a murmur he clears his throat a bit. “Trial sentencing for Loki? It’s bullshit. Look, I don’t want her dead. Danvers and Banner love her, but...political offices stripped from her and she had to fork over money? At least Ambassadors have to follow certain rules and conduct themselves with some kind of decorum. She brought an entire super-powered civilization and plunked it down. What does that smell like to you? Invasion. Act of War.And now, it’s been days. We haven’t heard anything from her. What’s she planning? What’s she going to do now that she’s been let off the leash?I’m not gonna sit around and find out.” Tony states it with anger a ploy that he used in hopes to get the correct response. As the room erupts into a fit of shouts and questions he steps away from the microphone and walks away.

At the time of the press release Wanda and Loki find their way to Asgard to request the help of Moni. Loki explaining everything that has occurred is hoping that the fight will draw out Hydra from hiding. Moni agrees to help offering the space that is needed.

Loki and Tony ask all heroes to secretly meet up at the sanctum. Explaining the plan each person agrees to be apart of the plan. Especially since she had the feeling that Hydra has some hand in the outcome of her trial. With the flash drive that Steve had gotten from the Hydra base it was all more than possible.

Sending Wanda and Loki to Asgard the pair work together to make a large fight that is purely fake and done with magic happen.

As this fight begins Carol, fake Loki, Bruce, and heroes who have chosen to stand on her side are lined up. On the opposite side Steve, Tony, and a few others stand on his side. The fight is large and massive being recorded by drones the live footage being live-streamed to all outlets. As they went on for most of the day they were finally down to four people on their field just before the final blow the footage is cut.

-After seeing this the Super Hero Registration act and the Mutant Registration act are brought into the spot light. Being just passing comments and on the back burner for most legislation seeing this massive battle as pushed these things into the spot light. Fast tracking making them law in the next couple of years.

-As for Hydra the ploy hadn’t worked and they had nothing to do with the outcome of Loki’s trial.

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ivvvoooo-blog · 6 years

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xdirt-bagx · 6 years

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A little update...

hey there. so if you’re reading this is because you followed the link to this thing so that i could explain a little to what has been going on with me in the recent months since i left home in south carolina to spend a little while here in massachusetts with my small in number big large in heart family.

so, let’s start at the beginning. i am an only child born from another only child. and have had not negative but limited contact with any extended family outside great uncles and aunts. so, family is small in number at the present moment. after the death of my mother in 2015, it now is me, my dad (jerry), me grandmother (claire) and my grandfather (carl)...lets start with carl.

for quite a number of years now carl has been living with dementia. it probably started showing its face around 8 years ago or so, but i can say in hindsight that there were signs of it years before. in the last 5 or so years it has taken away his ability or want to do much more else than sleep half the day, and eat a limited diet of ginger ale and sandwiches. my main goal when i decided to spend the summer here was to spend good time with everyone but i also have had this feeling that carl was going to become a greater concern soon and i needed to see what could be done. withing a few weeks of me arriving here he started to show some new behavior that bordered on manic episodes and talking to himself. in about a weeks time it came to a head when he awoke in the middle of the night and started acting very erratic and in ways i thought were possibly going to hurt himself or my grandmother. i stayed up through the night attempting to keep him still and calm until in the later morning i was able to get in contact with his home care nurse. she advised to take him to the VA hospital nearby immediately to be checked for any infections that may have changed his mood and behavior. after some time when we got him there and had him checked over, as i was trying to calm him down for a chest scan and i was alone in the room with him, his eyes locked and rolled back as he went into a grand mal seizure. my first i have ever witnessed. the med folks came rushing in and did what they do and as the seizure passed and he was stabilized, he was transferred to the nearby hospital with a better staff to handle his turn for the worse. as the day and night went on and the sedatives wore off he began to become aware again and continued with the self dialogue and manic behavior that after a few hours turned into rage and outbursts of anger and statements of killing the people who hurt me. he was sedated and i finally decided to return home to be with my grandmother who has stayed home when he was taken to the hospital. over the next couple days he was up and down and sedated many times. finally he was places into the geriatric behavioral floor while we have been figuring out the best skilled nursing care place in a nearby location to place him. this has of course been a big stress on my grandmother claire, as they have been eash others lives for almost 50 years and she has been his main caretaker for all this time. but at 85, i know she is in a real danger of not being able to take god care of him anymore, and that placing him in a good place where people can watch him and make his life proper for however long he might have left. this is hard, very hard, but we both know it is the right thing to do. more will be known this week with where he will be going. speaking of this week, lets move to my grandmother, claire....

having been one of my greatest influences in life, and my caretaker at times while i was growing up, claire has been my main reasoning for making this trip. she needed someone close to be here. to help with things around the house and spend some good time with. and thankfully as time would allow it, to help with what has been going on with carl the last couple months. i wouldn’y have it any other way. yet, she has her own great struggles on the horizon. to say that she has been through a lot on the last 5 years would be a great disservice. she has taken care of her carl, as well as my mother at times until she lost her too the beginning of 2015, and has since lost both of her brothers, bob and eddie. all the while dealing with her own set of health problems which included having some skin cancer surgically removed from her left upper cheek and nose in the last two years. something she actually hid from me altogether until last year when my father informed me against her wishes, she didnt want to worry me. crazy right? well, a couple weeks ago after weeks of having consistent headaches and some tenderness in her former surgery area, her doctor sent for a head x-ray and cat scan. to which he then sent us to an ear nose and throat specialist who with a quick look down her nose with a little camera, informed us more than likely, her cancer has returned where it had been removed 2 years ago. coming up this week we make the trip to the dermatologist at beth israel cancer center in boston to find out for sure and take it from there. again, very scary and stressful a thing to have to deal with at this time especially, but from what i have read, this kind of cancer is rarely dangerous unless it spreads and get close to other sensitive areas in her head, but i am hoping we have caught it i plenty of time to deal with it properly. i wouldnt want to be any where else than with her while we find out whats best and to come. to ease her worry as much as possible and be her support. and speaking of beth israel boston, lets move on to my dad, jerry...

he is not my grandmothers son of course, he is their son in law, a little over a year ago, the apartment he has lived in for the last 15+ years was sold to another owner who promptly ended all leases and asked every out in 30 days. he needed a place to live, and i needed someone to help keep proper eyes on my grandparents. so we cleaned up a room and threw some paint on the walls and moved him in. hes been a stupendous help since. besides being able to take my grand folks to their doctors and what not, hes also a good cook which my grandmother greatly appreciates ha ha. about the same time carl went into the hospital, jerry was having some blood pressure problems that ended up with him having to have an angiogram that revealed 3 major (90% or more) blockages around his heart. one week ago he was admitted to beth israel boston and was given a triple bypass to head off any future heart attacks and such. he’s laid up now and headed to a rehab place to get strength built back up. it’s gonna be a bit of a healing process for him im sure, which is why i am going to be here as it stands a bit longer than first expected.

so, now that were all caught up, i wanted to get y’all updated and thank the lot of you for all the well wishes and phone calls and what not. i’m sorry that i haven’t been great at keeping up with back home or been good at talking to many of you as that talking isn’t something i have been a big fan of lately. admittedly i have been a little overly reclusive with my thoughts and feeling and wants and such, but i’m thankful that i have the good life i have and the people that i love and the ability to stop a lot of things in what normal life i kinda have to come here and be of service.

maybe next i’ll actually take a stab at describing the feelings and emotions that one goes through in the midst of this really hard season, but i’ve never been good at putting all that into words and sharing things or having attention put on me. but, i’m trying to make a change to that for my own mental health and stability. i guess we’ll just have to see wont we. ‘til then, love all y’all.

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badmuslim-blog1 · 6 years

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The Escape Plan

September 11, 2018

It’s become clear to me that my mother does not have any serious intention to get us out of this country and back home. Today she told my sisters she was going to register them into school here. Private English school. Of course that means she expects us to be here for at least 50% of the school year, and once they’ve begun the year it won’t make sense to go back until they’ve completed a full year.

I am not going to play the part she expects me to play in her farce. I know this can’t be the only option. The Canadian government cannot seriously expect Canadian citizens who have lost their passports for a second time while abroad to actually stay abroad for 8-10 months. It is complete and utter nonsense. There must be another way. I can’t really trust my mom to call the British embassy and inquire as to what they’re able to do in this situation. It’s true that on the Canadian website it says the British embassy has the power to assist with Canadian affair as there is no Canadian embassy in Iraq. But it’s also possible, I suppose, that that information is outdated. I clearly cannot trust my mom to inquire and tell me the truth. She’s lied about everything else so far, lied about why we were coming here, who we were going to see here and live with. Lied about having internet, about losing the passports, about not doing it on purpose, about intending to stay here instead of go back and why she did all this. Lying about letting me go to Mexico. Lied about letting me live my life. Lied about being on my side. Lied about understanding what’s best for me and what I want. Lied about looking out for my best interest. Sufficed to say the paper of trust has been properly crumbled to a crisp ball of “I wouldn’t trust you with a pack of gum”.

Now what next. What am I to do as a 21 year only Arab woman in Iraq, a country where it’s not safe for women to travel on their own, where its considered improper for women to even enter a police station. Improper for women to hail a taxi by themselves, to work, to be seen in public at night without being called a “woman of the night”, to breath out of turn. Well, I’ve got a plan.

I can’t take all my bags, 2 huge suitcases and a carry on? By myself? Not practical. I’ll have to chose whats most important and travel light. One carry on, one bag for my valuables, knick knacks that don’t fit in the carry on, and a small purse to wear across my shoulder.

I’ll take clothes, hygiene products, jewellery, my basic writing and art supplies, my laptop, a phone, Kleenex packs, sunscreen, glasses, steel water bottle, and finally: money. This is when I tell you I haven’t got any. I was stupid enough to think I wouldn’t need to bring any funds to this country, that my short month vacation would be taken care of by my mother, it’s not like I was planning on spending any real money here. It was just a family vacation, just supposed to see relatives, visit the shrines of the prophet’s Imams, his daughter, granddaughters, see the holy cities, have a great vacation with my mom and sisters one last time before I began my life away from them. I was naive, trusting, and well, unsuspecting.

I won’t make that mistake again.

I’m also not worried about my sisters, the messages I’ve read have indicated to me that she’s only here because of me and she’s staying because of me so if I leave, they’ll be freed too.

Stealing money and leaving is going to be tough, real tough. The front door is really loud and the money is in a wallet in their bedroom. And all that will have to be done in an impossible time frame. My sisters and I go to sleep at around 6am due to our conviction to maintain our sleep schedule according to Toronto Time Zone. 6am is precisely when both my mom and my bio-dad wake up. Not to mention the other times he wakes up in the night for prayer. Unpredictable times, sometimes 2:30am, sometimes just 3-4am. I kind of don’t want to leave too early and somehow get caught because there will be chaos and yelling and running and it will be a disaster and I don’t want to put my sisters through that in the middle of the night. Then again it is inevitable and will happen either way, I have to do what is best for my own survival. In other words, when will I make the best time. Another thing to consider is taxis, they’re not really available 24/7, they sleep too. And do I really want to chance it by getting in a taxi with a random stranger in the middle of the night? What if its some creep just waiting for me. Also the timing has to match with my cover story/fabricated backstory.

I am a woman who is traveling to meet up with her husband in Baghdad. I’m on my way from my family’s house in Karbala, they couldn’t travel with me because my father is sick and we don’t have anyone (a man in the family) else. My husband couldn’t come get me himself because he had sudden work come up so instead we are calling and texting at every intersection so I don’t get lost. In reality there won’t be anyone on the other end when I hold up a turned off phone to my ear. But at least I can fake it, I can fake a husband that really cares about my wellbeing and where I am at every moment. Plenty of men are like that, especially here in Iraq so thats easy. I will have long winded endless conversations about how his brothers work in Kut went and whether the courts ruled in his favour. I’ll talk about how his mom’s surgery went and how her eyes are healing, and how sorry I am that I wasn’t there to take care of her after it but luckily my sister in law, her daughter, was there to see to it she was taken care of after the eye surgery. Then my husband will ask for the name of the man driving so he can send his regards and thank him for delivering me safely. Hotels will get the same treatment.

Or I might just end up in one of those large vans with a bunch of other people, that’ll be a little more complicated. But it’s safer I’ve heard, more witnesses, people around. Right now I’m still waiting on a reply to my email from the embassy, and I need to arrange for my phone to be replaced, since mine went missing over a month ago. Sorry, “went missing” a month ago. Can never be sure with this bunch. And I don’t want to leave without a way for them to contact me because a search for a daughter that you don’t know is dead or alive is far more dramatic and desperate than a search for one that just doesn’t want to be found. I’d prefer the latter, probably will keep the relatives from catching wind too.

#escape #hostage #stealth #steal #survival #survive #get out #getaway #embassy #abroad #stuck abroad #fake it #runaway #run away #women #dangerous #traveling alone #alone #plan

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bloodandswag · 6 years

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bestillmybeefyheart · 6 years

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So if yo missed my post yesterday, haven’t followed me before or don’t remmeber... I wanted to recap my life for you since March 2016. I do so because I literally, and I mean that literally, was, I dont eve know the word... Blessed (life not faith wise) with such amazing results and news after a long hard struggle. So here’s a summary.

Up until March 2016, I was 178lbs of muscle, training to be a boxer, could go many rounds in the ring and take a beating and I trained every day, be it hiking, biking, the gym, walking, you name it.

I had just begun a very long slow taper of Benzodiazepines, whichI was kicking ass at so far at this point. This journey was goign to take me 2 years at that point and is another story.

On March 24th (I believe) of 2016, I had a seemingly minor bicycle accident while riding to my doctors office, then the gym. I tried to hop up onto a curb, but due to heat exhaustion, dehydration and having just ridden 10 miles approx, I was not up to the task. I hit the curb at an angle, faster then I realized, and my front wheel made it, the back did not. Result, broken leg at the ankle.

I had surgery that required 2 plates and 10 screws, and due to the nature of the break, my surgeon who is quite skilled, had to work extra hard to put me back together the best he could.

I then spent months healing on the sofa, lost ALL of that muscle I had worked so hard for, gained weight, but was actually lighter then I had been and my spirit and heart were broken. But I did not let that pull me down. I did everyting I was told by the doctor. Everything. My progress was sped up by my previous amazing physical fitness levels right up to the incident, even though I had waited since due to inactivity.

Once I got permission to start PT, I had to learn to walk again. This was very scary. Not only did I have no idea how far I could go before the damage I caused became a roadblock, but it was painful beyond belief. It also tore my mental status into shreads. BUt, I kept going, as my Dr and PT person told me, no matter how hard.

Months later, and 2 months before I should have been to this point, I was walking again. The Orthopedist and my Dr were both thrilled and complimented me on m progress. Knowing how bad my break was, its location, and how most people deal with this stuff, they gave me encourage ment and a reminder that I could do this.

I kept working hard, furthering my progress. Eventually getting permission to bicycle again. Thanks to my eBike’s help, I used it to do even more rehabilitation and it also sped up my recovery. Plus it made me feel great again, free, happy, and that sense of accomplishment was just making me glow. But deeper inside I was still scared to death, in a good amount of pain, and worried. Doctor then had me do more PT at home, from 1-3x a day to 4-8x a day. And I did, every single day.

Well, this change in frequency improved my ROM (Range of Motion) dramatically, so much so that I could walk down stairs normally again for the first time in over a year. But, it also caused me to hit the first and biggest hurdle yet, one I could never get over... I had reached my newly set bone’s limit during dorsal and plantar movement. That’s forward and backward movement like pushing on the gas in your car (plantar) and bending your ankle back (dorsal).

My bone in my leg was now hitting my Talus bone (this is the bone your leg moves forward and backward on to make your foot move those directions) when I bent it far enough, just short of my good ankle’s natural limit. This wasn’t a muscle stretch problem it was a hard limit, for life. I was devastated and spiraled into a depression, but i kept biking, walking best I could and worked through best I could.

While this was happening, this working out and PT etc, I was in pain, all the time. It started to go from a hospital 3-4 (0-10 scale), to a 5-7, then 6-8, and soon it was 8 daily. It got so bad I passed out multiple times from the pain, got even more depressed not even realizing why, and eventually told my PCP Dr, who told me to tell my Orthopedist. I did, and we decided to try taking out the plate, and while he was in there, he was going to see what the impinging point was and why. We hoped for a magic solution, maybe it was a small piece of bone that had come off or something in the hardware we hoped.

Those screws I mentioned? They were also through the whole bone and poking into my leg muscle inside. I thought maybe that is causing internalized pain as well as pain I could feel? Hoped maybe it might help if they weren’t there. And so the doctor did the surgery, 3 weeks ago, removed the plate and screws and found nothing but what he should.

Mom told me he told her with a disappointed look on his face right after surgery that he found nothing magic, but it was otherwise a success. And we geared up for 2 months+ of healing and rehabilitation.

Within 3 days, I was on my feet, no crutches, no boot.

Within a week, I was walking better then I had since the surgery in 2016.

And the most important parts... removing the plate and screws had STOPPED the agonizing pain. I went from a 6-8 the day of, to a 5 maybe right after, days later, I was 1-2 max.

During this whole time, and this is the 2nd important part, my blood pressure was sky high the whole time. We had no clue why and blamed it on my Benzo taper. But, those screws I mentioned that were inside my leg meat, THEY were the cause of not just the pain but my high blood pressure. I didn’t know this until I was checked at my last Orthopedist appt, and then reconfirmed yesterday when my 190/107 BP went to 120/90.

I know this is a long story, but it’s been part of my life, the pain, the healing, the agony, the mental anguish, all of it, they’ve been here since the first surgery. And now, minus the talus impingement, I felt better then I had in ways I can’t explain. I told the dr at one point that if the surgery to remove the plate didnt work, I wanted him to cut off the foot and part of the leg, it was that bad.

Today, I sit here typing to you, normal blood pressure, almost no pain, light discomfort after a long day of moving the ankle, and a different man.

The moral here, beyond reminding you that I have been through hell and I came back flipping off the devil, is...

Don’t give up.

Don’t stop trying.

Always do what your doctor says.

And always educate yourself. Me learning how the leg and ankle works, examining x-rays, all of that helped me to help the doctors make me better.

I am the same guy I was before, just out of shape and cannot run or jog again for the rest of my life, nor can I hike without poles and good boots. But, I overcame one hell of an obstacle.

So if you struggle with something, don’t take it laying down, learn about your problems, what goes on in your body or life that might cause them, and talk to your doctors, therapists or whomever. And never ever give up.

I’m going to be 50 this December. I have the heart of a 25 year old athelete. I am proof that age has nothing to do with it. It’s all about what you can put into it.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I hope someone finds this inspirational, as I want to shout it from the rooftops. I am -that- much happier. Unmeasurablely so.

#broken leg #trigger #possibly gross #journey #my story

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imagine-ikebukuro · 7 years

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tagged in a few things

more under the cut!

92 truths meme

Tagged by: @glitzcake thank u!

LAST…

[1] Drink: orange juice

[2] Phone call: a friend of mine, annika

[3]Text message: my brother

[4] Song you listened to: this remix, i’m obsessed with it lately!

[5] Time you cried: aw shit, a few days ago? last weekend? idk man

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: no

[7] Been cheated on: nope

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: yup

[9] Lost someone special: kind of? but… more in a sense of drifting apart rather than someone passing away

[10] Been depressed: not diagnosed, but i’m pretty sure my mental health is not at its best at all

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes and not only once either

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] grey!

[13] turquoise!

[14] burgundy!

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] IN THE LAST YEAR…

[16] fallen out of love: nah

[17] laughed until you cried: pretty sure

[18] found out someone was talking about you: people be talking shit 24/7 and all i gotta say about it: I DON’T CARE AS LONG AS IT’S ABOUT ME

[19] met someone who changed you: mhhhh, no not really

[20] found out who your true friends are: definitely!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeeeaaah? could’ve been in 2015, my sense of time is terrible Dx

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% of people, 5% others are friends i’ve known for several months or years over the internet and 5% are random people or some “celebrities” i found lmao

[23] do you have any pets: no, sadly not ;;

[24] do you want to change your name: i’m fine with my name, tbh!

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went to the museum and ate sushi with my family and a few weeks later had a party with my friends

[26] what time did you wake up: today? 8am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching youtube videos

[28] name something you cannot wait for: to finally be accepted to college and not being nervous about applying for university and everything, but have it all sorted out

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: she’s sitting in the same room as me right now

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: if i could go back in time, i would do anything to have my father and i get along properly today

[31] what are you listening to right now: a zelda remix playlist

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: actually, yes, i had a huge crush on someone named tom, he was two classes above me during middle school

[33] something that is getting you nervous: the thought of me getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, ugh. also, general organization and planning shit, like applying for college, moving out of my hometown, living on my own very soon, being forced to meet new people, all that jazz.

[34] most visited website: i guess tumblr? even though, lately, it’s probably youtube

[35] elementary: 2004 - 2008

[36] high school: graduated last year

[37] college: i can apply for my first semester next week. if i’m accepted, i’ll start going there in fall this year.

[38] hair color: i’m a ginger, so red-brown

[39] long or short hair: short! i cut it into an undercut like almost 2 years ago

[40] do you have a crush on someone: no, i avoid that shit

[41] what do you like about yourself: my eye color?

[42] piercings: i literally got zero piercings, not even on my ears, but i wish i had an industrial piercing and i used to really want flesh tunnels, maybe i’ll get there eventually

[43] blood type: i actually don’t know :^)

[44] nickname: some people call me lilly, some call me li. the villagers in my animal crossing town call me ukeprince, wot

[45] relationship status: married to the neighbour’s cat which i saw from my window and went out for just to pet it about 500 times by now

[46] zodiac sign: virgo!

[47] pronouns: they/them, she/her, he/him

[48] fav tv show: at the moment i’m watching PLL (but i don’t like it at all so rip) my favorite’s gotta be buffy the vampire slayer!

[49] tattoos: none yet

[50] right or left hand: right handed

FIRST…

[51] surgery: i had surgery in my mouth last year and like mentioned above, i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, if that counts

[52] piercing: none

[53] best friend: she’s not even active on tumblr anymore, rip, her name’s lydia though IF YOU READ THIS, THEN HELLO MY BRO

[54] sport: i’m planning to swim regularly again after recovering and healing up from surgery

[55] vacation: if it counts, my first ever “vacation” was the music festival Rock im Park 2013 with my father and a good friend of mine

[56] pair of trainers: no clue

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: orange juice

[59] i’m about to: maybe get to playing some loz: botw

[60] listening to: still the loz remix playlist

[61] waiting for: anxious feelings to pass

[62] want: a huge cup of coffee

[63] get married: nopedy nope, i don’t fixate myself on wishing to get married. if it happens, it happens and i’ll be happy about it, but if not, then that’s cool on my terms, too!

[64] career: i’m working on becoming a teacher (i want to teach german, english and ethics in high schools)

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: honestly, it depends, but generally, i’d say hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyessss

[67] shorter or taller: i don’t care, both is nice

[68] older or younger: as long as it’s pretty close to my age, i don’t mind

[69] romantic or spontaneous: neither LMAO if i had to chose, romantic, bc i’m as spontaneous as a potato, i gotta plan ahead, bruh

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: stomach! and by that i mean any kind of stomach! ripped af or soft, i’m weak.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: a nice balance between the two would be cool. let’s be real though, troublemakers always catch my eye, even though i’m quickly annoyed by them just as well wtf is wrong with me

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: no

[75] drank hard liquor?: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no wtf i’d be walking around half blind

[77] turned someone down: yes

[78] sex on first date?: no

[79] broken someone’s heart?: apparently so

[80] had your own heart broken?: at the time i think i would’ve called it that, but honestly, it wasn’t that horrible, so nah?

[81] been arrested?: no

[82] cried when someone died?: yeah

[83] fallen for a friend?: do lowkey crushes count in which you gush over how amazing someone is? platonic crushes? it’s a thing.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i used not to, but lately i’m more confident i think!

[85] miracles?: not really

[86] love at first sight?: no

[87] Santa Claus?: no

[88] kiss on the first date?: sure

[89] angels?: no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Lydia

[91] eye color: greyish-green (if i cry or sometimes late at night they’re really GREEN!)

[92] favorite movie: nightmare before christmas!

10 questions ask game.

tagged by @peacefuldesires thx!

What things make you smile and all warm-fuzzy inside? CATS no seriously, i can have the worst day, but when i walk home and get to pet a cat on the way, i instantly better. i remember coming home after my last final exam all upset and a cat meowing at me and purring and wanting to cuddle with me and i couldn’t help but smile!

What things make you feel a bit sad (don’t push yourself to answer this one)? my current family situation, there’s a bit of drama and fights going on.

What things inspire you to grow? anything and everything, to be honest. there’s new things you experience and learn every single day. things you conquer and master just fine and mistakes you make and all of them shape you into knowing what to do next time a bit more.

The last song(s) that you couldn’t stop listening to? i can’t really think of anything right now, uhhhh, i’ve been listening to the trust me durarara!! ending lately again haha

5. Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert? What kind (are you a shy extrovert, super confident introvert, or perhaps a really confused ambivert :0)?: i’m an introvert through and through. i wouldn’t say i’m exceptionally shy nor super confident. i’m somewhere in between. it really depends, around my friends i’m outgoing and cheering and with certain strangers, especially if i know i have to talk with them for literally no longer than 3 minutes right now (i.e. a cashier or someone you walk past) then i’m polite and rather talkative. i just feel exhausted even after spending a lot of time with friends, though the time was enjoyable, but i need my alone time for sure.

What calms you down? the triangle breath! it’s my favorite method to use whenever i feel anxious, upset, angry, or just need to stop and pause for a few minutes. you picture a triangle in your mind (you can even trace it with your finger, or if you can draw it on a piece of paper). you take a breath in through your nose, tracing one side of the triangle. then you breathe out through your mouth, tracing the second and third side of it. other than that, listening to music, taking a nap, petting a cat, watching videos of cats or other cute stuff, sometimes playing a video game.

A character that you really relate to (perhaps you have similar personalities, or maybe you came from similar backgrounds)?: this is gonna sound trashy, but saeyoung choi from mystic messenger and there’s a story behind it too. my friends were playing it way before me and told me “there’s this character that looks just like you, you know nerd glasses, messy red hair, always wearing a baggy black hoodie. he even acts like you, making puns and using memes ALL THE TIME!” and it’s true lmao. also, kaneki ken to some extent? like i really resonate with his personality, the choices he makes, his thoughts speak to me, he’s pretty harsh on himself and goes through ways that are self destructive if he can help others with it.

One thing you love learning? language, it’s just fascinating to me.

Angst or fluff? ANGST, I AM THE ANGST QUEEN, COME ON

If you punch yourself, does that mean you’re strong or does that mean you’re weak? neither and a little bit of both at the same time. let’s go deep in on this one and take the “punch” as emotional self loathing. bashing yourself down definitely doesn’t mean you’re strong, it doesn’t make you tough at all, it only means you’re harsh on yourself. it doesn’t make you weak either. you’re making yourself believe you are weak, but the fact that you endure that and still have the power to do so, means you’re tougher than you’re think.

MY QUESTIONS:

Now that spring’s here, what’s your favorite thing about this season and what do you not like about it?

What’s your spirit animal? Literally. Which animal do you think resembles your inner self and why? (maybe your Patronus, if you know it?

What’s your go-to order at a café?

Do you consider yourself to be creative?

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? If so, what? If not, why?

Where do you see yourself in 20 years from now?

Home sweet home, what makes you feel comfortable in your own home? What’s the overall aesthetic of your room, any colors, textures, an atmosphere, do you maybe keep many stuffed animals or posters or plants?

What do you think is most important when it comes to friendship?

What’s something you improved in since last year?

Werewolves or Vampires, which are cooler?

I tag: @imagine-your-party-hosts || @obsessivefujoshi || @dotaccino || @mollyxmousey || anyone who wants to do this

#i was tagged #shut up liane #long post for ts #not drrr

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repwinpril9y0a1 · 7 years

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When Muslims and Jews Work Together Lives are Saved

Who's life? Let's start with mine. On December 16th, 2016 I was admitted to the emergency room of The Brooklyn Hospital Center in excruciating pain. Each time I breathed in it felt like someone took a chainsaw to my abdomen. The day before had been a normal one. I went to a meeting, shopping, yoga, had pasta at an old favorite café in Greenwich Village. Later that night I felt sick to my stomach. I never throw up. It happens once every five years as I don't really drink. However after hours of discomfort I forced myself to vomit once or twice. An hour later the excruciating pain began. I was in Brooklyn staying with friends Trevor and Emily Kammeyer Sumner as my apartment was being renovated with workers pulling up floors and demolishing walls. I woke Emily up who went to the pharmacy to get stomach medicine. After that didn't help I contacted my doctor who suggested more over the counter medicine and to wait a bit to see if it goes away. After hours of pain, I called 911 for an ambulance to take me to the nearest ER. I figured I'd get fluids, meds, and they would know what to do and I'd be home soon feeling normal again. Very quickly tests showed I had an Esophageal Perforation- a hole in my Esophagus (food tube) that would kill me in a matter of hours. I was laying in the Emergency Room of Brooklyn Hospital medicated and wondering what comes next when suddenly a team of two dozen doctors and nurses surrounded me. They informed me I had a critical condition and they needed to operate immediately or I might die. I joke that having survived a lifetime of sex, drugs, and rock and roll that there was no way I was going to die that day. If there were a nuclear war the only survivors would be cockroaches, Keith Richards, and myself. These doctors and nurses explained it was exactly the golden hour when the surgery could be successful and started running down the hall with me on the gurney toward the operating room. I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about? Surely a tortellini wasn't going to do me in. I wasn't concerned until I met Dr. Alan Saber. Dr. Saber arrived and upon introducing himself as the lead surgeon who would perform the operation. He informed me there was a 50-50% chance I might not make it. It was only then that it dawned on me how serious the moment truly was. Dr. Saber came to New York from his native land of Egypt to study medicine. One of the first colleagues to befriend Dr. Saber who is Muslim, was Robert Rosenberg, a Jewish doctor at Cabrini Hospital. The friendship was about healing and saving others, not about religious beliefs or cultural differences. Along the way a man named Rosenthal arrived at the hospital suffering from the same critical condition I had. A hole tore in his Esophagus allowing stomach acids to leak into his body. He was a rabbi and 95 years old. No one wanted to operate on the rabbi as he was so frail and elderly. Those in the hospital thought any surgery would result in his dying on the operating room table or shortly thereafter. Dr. Saber stepped up and volunteered to operate. To the delight and surprise of everyone he managed to save the rabbis life. I've been asked what is the feeling like to be told you might die tonight, it might be your last moments alive? I felt very calm. First, I simply didn't feel deep down that it was my time. Second, I was in expert hands and there was nothing I could do about it. Everyone else was channeling the serious concern of a life or death moment, allowing me along with the morphine to just relax and surrender. Saber had reviewed my tests and told the hospital staff to prepare for this very critical and complex surgery. Tubes were inserted to keep me breathing, getting fluids, going to bathroom, etc. Moments before I was wheeled into the OR I stopped everyone. I said "I want to let you all know who the person is you are about to operate on, so I'm not just a patient or number. My name is Larry Dvoskin. I have always done what I love which is to make music. I have worked with many of the world's most well known music stars but have also mentored many young people to follow their hearts desire and go for their dream. If tonight is my last night on Earth, I thank God for an amazing full life and I am ready to face what's next. However, I don't feel it's my time yet. I have more to give and would like to stick around to help more people, and make a difference in more people's lives. I pray that all of you gathered are empowered by God to be my healing angels, and that the surgery is a success." This visibly touched and moved the medical team gathered. It made me into a person, not just a number. It showed depth and purpose and emotion in my life. In my imagination I feel it grounded the group with holy spirit. Right before going under in the OR I posted a photo and plea on Facebook for friends to send love, prayers, and healing thoughts. Pray for me, Im surprisingly in a life or death Surgery! Got sick last night and puked SO hard a small hole opened in Esophagus!! Food & air leaking dangerously close to heart, lungs!!!! Holy fuck!!! Please pray n send love, healing, see me in your minds eye happy n safe!!! Rolling to OR now!!! The next morning I awoke to gold streams of morning light, dancing with the silken window curtain overlooking Fort Greene Park. I was alive. When I glanced online I saw that my plea moments before surgery motivated over 500 people from all chapters of my life to respond with messages of hope, healing, love, and enthusiasm for me to make it through to the other side. I felt wealthy beyond compare to have such an ocean of love break upon my shores. But what made me marvel at the mystery and beauty of life was the follow up with Dr. Alan Saber the next day. Beyond the medical stuff, we started talking and he told me of his early days as a Muslim coming to US and being taken under the wing of Jews. I explained that I too was Jewish, and despite all the ugly rhetoric and Islamophobia in our political discourse, I couldn't be more grateful for this Islamic man that saved the life of his Jewish patient. It gave me goose bumps, hope, a type of wisdom that we are indeed stronger together when we put aside our differences. We're all human. I am home recovering and it will take a good 6 months for me to potentially be back to full functionality. I welcome this healing period of rest. I will use it to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've been given a second chance. To Alan Saber directly I say thank you for saving my life. To the hundreds of people who sent love and prayers I say thank you for sending the energy of healing, protection, and love that also saved my life. I am still here because of you. I couldn't have done it without you. There are NO words to describe the gratitude I feel.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2jpSbSI

#DIYS

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officalaizawa003 · 3 years

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Hizashi...(part 2 because it made me sad to see mic die so HERE WE GO)

Mic was gone. He had watched another one of his friends die. His last friend. The love of his life. The father of his 2 kids. Gone in only a few seconds. And he watched. He watched as his best friend fell to his death. And if he made it out of this fight alive, he was gonna see blood splattered as he walked down the hill back to Mic's favorite bar,where he'd drink the rest of his life away. So focused on the edge of the cliff, so lost in thought, he completely forgot about the fight until he was forced to his knees and couldnt breathe. Turns out while he was destracted, Fearing had wrapped aizawa's own scarf around aizawa's neck. Aizawa was struggling to breathe. For some reason, the grief and the tears hadn't hit him yet.

"The poor eraserhead. I almost feel sorry for you. HAHAHA no I dont~ Dont worry, you'll join him soon." The villain pulled harder, making it harder for aizawa to breathe. Aizawa saw as the villain pulled out a knife and grinned. "I did just kill your best friend so after you pass out I'll just put you out of your misery!" Aizawa's eyes were getting droopy. He had to think of a plan. He used his feet to sweep Fearing's feet right from under him, making him let go of aizawa's scarf who gasped for air. He was too weak to go and finish Fearing off, and he couldnt or else Fearing would grab the scarf again, which aizawa couldn't pull off. All of a sudden aizawa screamed in pain and coughed up blood. His enemy had figured out not only one, but both of aizawa's weak spots, getting punched in the side and the throat. He grabbed aizawa's scarf again and pulled as hard as he could, dragging out more blood and screams from the man under him. He starting kicking aizawa on his side as hard as he could. "I was gonna let you die quickly but you deserve to suffer!" The villain watched as aizawa's eyes were rolling back and only came back a bit with every kick to the side. Fearing took the knife, got ontop of aizawa, lifted it up and- Blood. Choking and gasping, trying to beg for his life. Fearing fell to the ground grabbing his sliced open neck. There mic was, huffing and puffing on the edge of the cliff. Fearing gargled his last words: "If im going to die, one of you will too!" Fearing stabbed aizawa's side before dying. Mic ran to aizawa. "SHOUTA ARE YOU OKAY?! ANSWER ME! Oh god thats so much blood..." Mic cut aizawa's scarf off of his neck, making aizawa start coughing and gasping. "Its okay shouta its okay..." Mic was now full on crying. His best friend didnt look so good...like if it was his last moments. It was a shame too his birthday was yesterday...now he was going to die. "You can fall asleep if you need to shouta...you must be in so much pain..." Mic pulled the knife out slowly making aizawa groan and gasp. Aizawa's breathing was slow. His eyes only followed mic. "Shouta..." he smiled through his tears, "Go to sleep...I know how much you love your sleep...Take one last nap.....make sure its a good one. I love you...I'll see you soon" Aizawa closed his eyes and Mic began sobbing. At least I got to see him die..at least I got to say I love you- Mics thoughts were inturupted by being pulled into a kiss. A deep kiss. Mic could taste the blood on shouta's breath but he couldnt care less. He held his best friend close and kissed him deeply. Aizawa's body went limp beneath him. That was it. Mic carried him bridal style down the moutain where paramedics took aizawa away and midnight tried to stop mic from using his quirk as his cries filled the city. In less then 2 minutes aizawa's condition and mic's screams were on the news. Everyone knew. Mic got calls left and right but he ignored them and went missing for a few days before showing up to his radio show on friday. It was plain and kinda depressing even though mic only talked about music and star guests that would come soon. He showed up to school and when Mic walked in for homeroom period no one questioned him. A few of the girls cried and a few of the boys too. There had been no update on aizawa's health but with what they saw on tv, it was only natural everyone knew he was dead.

A few minutes later Midnight ran into class 1-a and screamed : "AIZAWA IS ALIVE!". She looked tired and was probably imaiging it all. All fo a sudden everyone got the notification. The headline read, "BREAKING NEWS: ERASER HERO: ERASERHEAD ALIVE IN HOSPITAL AFTER UNDERGOING BRUTAL BATTLE AND WHAT DOCTORS CALL A "50/50" SURGERY!" The class erupted in tears and cheers and screams. Mic didnt even flinch. He read the headline over and over before pushing past midnight and driving to the hospital. He went inside aizawa's room to find him sitting up in bed talking to a doctor. When Aizawa turned his head he smiled at mic. "I'd never leave you Hizashi...you should have known better." Mic walked slowly to aizawa and began feeling his arms and legs. He didnt believe this for a second. His bestfriend was dead and he had accpeted it. But when brought into a kiss by aizawa, he knew it was all real. He cried and smiled and picked aizawa up and kissed him as aizawa wrapped his legs around the love of his life. They kissed for a good 5 minutes before breaking to breathe. " I thought I lost you!" They both said at the same time. "But hizashi...how did you survive? You fell off a cliff for gods sake!"

"well a tree was growing sideways on the mountain and I landed on it. It took a while to climb up im so sorry i wasnt there!" Aizawa kissed Mic again. Class 1-A, midnight, vlad, all might, and even snipe hugged aizawa and strangers brought flowers and toys and cards and sweets. After a month, aizawa was healed with a few scars but he was fine. He later went from and underground hero to number 12 on the hero's chart! And life was could never be better then that! And its all thanks to...Hizashi..

#present mic #yamada hizashi #eraserhead #erasermic #aizawa shouta #class 1a #angst with a happy ending #plot twist

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becomingaaron · 5 years

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Dear Dad (2.25.19)

Life is weird. Everything’s so weird. So and for reasons I’m not even sure why I came out to pretty much everyone as gay. I never really thought this day would happen, but yet, here I am. It wasn’t much of a win if I’m honest, my mom showed up at my job before I was about to close and we yelled at each other for a good half hour or so in the parking lot.

She was so angry, and hateful. The entire fight was crazy, she brought up my Dad who’ve I’ve been talking to for about a month or so now. Told me her story, and how much he hurt her and how he didn’t want me. Then she told me about how when I was 16 and he first messaged me, he denied it, blamed it on his nephew and said him and his mother still weren’t sure if I was his kid.

I don’t know how to feel about all of that, or about the shit he did when I was a kid, or for how he hasn’t been in my life until now. But, he seems to be making an effort, he genuinely seems to want to help me and check in on me. I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and to just move on and take things for what they are now. And to try and have a relationship with him. I’m trying not hate him or my mom and honestly, he makes it a lot easier than she does.

She’s so closed minded, she told me on the phone tonight that my being gay or trans or whatever is all a choice and because I let my environment define me and let people tell me what to do. She says I learned this and this is all my choice, as if I would choose a life like this. I didn’t ask for this, she has no clue how hard it is being Transgender. Or even gay as I’m oftenly mistaken and now out as.

As if I would want my family to turn their backs on me, or people to look down on me like shes saying they do. As if I want to disappoint anyone, most of my life shit probably even still now if I’m honest. I’ve always wanted validation or to be able to make someone proud. I’ve always wanted someone or people in my corner who could help me and would actually accept me.

My family isn’t the best, far from it actually. And they’ve fucked me up pretty good, I don’t know if I can ever be fixed. A part of me honestly just wants to fucking kill myself so that I won’t have to go through any of this pain or healing, because healing is hard. It’s probably harder than the pain because it requires facing it. I’ve never faced my demons, I’ve only learned to ignore and push them away.

My Dad is offering to have me move in with him, if I go live with him for at least 6 months, I could get on his insurance and get myself a good shrink. I could even start transitioning and it would be cheap top surgery might even be cheaper. It would be a complete fresh start, I could leave all my shit behind me.

I don’t have to be little orphan Aaron who has no family and is a drug addict and a burn out and is going nowhere in life. I could actually make something of myself, there are two schools out there, I could go back and not have any marks against me. I could move on with my life and get away from my past. I wouldn’t have to drive past all my mistakes or go to a home where I’m not cared for or not close with anyone.

I wouldn’t have to deal with my family, I could change my number if I wanted to and choose when I wanted to talk to them. I could totally turn my life around. This could be the thing that changes my life for the good.

Honestly tho that’s the thing, it all sounds too good. Too good to be true actually, my mom warned me that he’s a liar and I mean he has gone to prison he was a con artist, and a good one. But, I don’t know he says all the right things. When I told him about me being gay he didn’t care, he didn’t scream at me or tell me to kill myself like my mom did.

When I told him I was trans he said he loved me and it wouldn’t matter if I was purple or green or had to heads lol My mom told me she’d rather I die than be who I am. She literally told me this twice now, said she’d rather I’d have killed myself or Overdosed. A part of me agrees with her if I’m honest. But he hasn’t said any of that too me.

He hasn’t asked me for anything but my time and to be in his life. He hasn’t told asked me for money, like she does, and he hasn’t yelled or bitched at me. Its so hard to hear from everyone in your life that this is a good thing and he seems to be really trying and to give my dad a chance and then to hear from my mom and stuff the exact opposite.

its so hard, my mother has a way of getting into my head and making me doubt everything and hate myself more than I already do. I’m scared she might be right about him and right about me, she said that therapy wouldn’t help me and that all they’d do is give me anti-depressants and it could never fix me.

Maybe I am unfix-able, if she’s right about my Dad well I honestly can not fucking see what else he would want from me, or what he would gain. I’m such a fuck up and he’s starting to realize it and honestly living with me would be no walk in the park what could he possibly gain from that?

He’s gonna have to put up with a lot, and really be patient with me. I’m a really hard person to deal with, he really should just forget about me like how he was it would honestly be better off. But instead he tries to message me at least once a day, and he tries to call me when he can even though he’s really busy and has a young daughter to take care of and a wife and two jobs and he’s up all day working and doing things and yet still trying his best to make time for me and see how I’m doing and if I’m okay.

He was at work today, his second job of the day, and still on his break reached out to me to see how I was doing and what I was up to. I’ve been trying to be honest and up front with him so I told him the truth. I got fucked up last night and starting breaking things and I hurt my hand. He was worried and kept asking me if I was okay, and concerned why I did it. He kept talking to me even tho he had to go back to work I had to tell him to go back to work and not to worry.

My mom was never like that, no one was. It’s odd to have that, I feel like a little kid starved of affection honestly I can’t stop smiling when I think of all this and I know its stupid but its a nice feeling. I just hope my mom isn’t right about him. But I honestly don’t see what could be gained and I don’t see what I could give him besides my time and a chance to get to know him.

I’ve been talking to my friends and my girlfriend and they all think I should go for it and try and move out there. At the very least it would only be for six months so it’s not like I have to stay out there for longer than that if I don’t want too. Everything seems to think it’s the very thing I need to get my life together and that I’d be stupid not to take the chance. Maybe they are right.

If I’m honest, Illinois has nothing for me. I’m not in school, I have a shit paying minimum wage job so it’s not like I’m missing much. My family is pretty toxic so I’d be getting way from that. The only things I would actually miss would be my siblings, my friends and of course my beautiful amazing girlfriend. I’m worried about the distance honestly, but our entire relationship is based in distance. She lives about 40-50 minuets away from me and for a while last year she was living in Wisconsin when she went to college so it’s not like distance is nothing new.

But the most it’s been is an hour or so at most , New York is states away. I’m worried things won’t work. But at the same time I know this is probably my best chance to turn my life around and get my shit together. Plus my friends have always been my family and it’s going to be hard to be all alone without them. And if i’m honest it’s gonna be horrible to be away from my plugs, I smoke weed all the time, I honestly can’t function without it.

When I don’t smoke I’m even more in my head than usual and highly depressed, I also can’t eat or sleep. What am I gonna do without it? He’s really gonna see just how fucked up I am honestly. Plus I doubt they’d like it if I stayed up way into the morning drinking myself deeper and deeper into depression like I’m doing now.

When did my life get so fucking complicated? ugh.

#dear dad #vent #life

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chocolate-brownies · 6 years

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The Good Fight: How Yoga is Being Used Within the Military

The Good Fight: How Yoga is Being Used Within the Military:

The U.S. Department of Defense and other federal agencies have been spearheading efforts to use yoga to manage and mitigate pain and mental health problems among active military.

There is hope that soldiers will receive yoga and mindfulness training before heading into combat.

In July 2010, US Navy pilot Liz Corwin was flying her F-18 fighter jet on a combat mission over Afghanistan at 350 knots. She had been in the air for seven hours and was struggling with the little hand-held urinal that female pilots use to relieve themselves mid-flight. Suddenly, to her left, she caught a glimpse of her wingman—just 50 feet away. The pair were on converging paths. They were so close, in fact, that she could clearly see the control panel inside his cockpit and the squadron’s mascot painted on his helmet. Taking a deep breath, she called on her eight years of aviation training and yanked the jet’s control stick toward her, flipping her plane upside down in an aggressive attempt to avoid a collision. But the turbulence told her it was too late. As she glanced out of her cockpit, there was no question: her wingtip was missing.

See also This 15-pose Sequence was Scientifically Proven to Treat Chronic Low-Back Pain in the Military

Wrestling ego, uncertainty, and self-criticism, Corwin spent the next few moments finding deep breaths to “wrangle those demons back into their pens,” she says. In the back of her mind, she knew the real threat would emerge when she attempted to slow down, deploy her landing gear, and touch down on an aircraft carrier floating somewhere in the Arabian Sea—which at her current speed was every bit of an hour away.

That hour was brutal, says Corwin, calling it the worst of her life. But she tapped into her yoga training, employing the same breathing and mindfulness techniques she had been practicing throughout deployment alone in her room on her yoga mat. Five thousand people awaited her return on the carrier, and she knew it would be a moment of reckoning for her reputation as a pilot—a female one at that.

“The cacophony of voices in my head needed an orchestrator, and I knew I couldn’t let self-doubt and shame be the loudest,” Corwin says. Yoga had been her savior during flight school: “My entire relationship with myself was at stake, but I knew if I could tap into presence, calm, and self-care, I could pull myself together enough to land safely.”

Learn how yoga is being used to treat PTSD and other military-related disorders.

See also Meet the Inspiring Woman Teaching Yoga to Caregivers of U.S. Military Service Members & Veterans

As Corwin recalls, she paused for deep self-reflection and offered up some vital self-love to the woman staring back at her in the rearview mirror of her cockpit. “Yoga had taught me to loosen harsh self-judgements. It taught me that whatever I did didn’t define me, but was a tool for my own awakening. I knew in that moment that what was happening wasn’t a failure, but an opportunity,” she says. “Yoga delivered a sense of peace to the moment of hell I was living in.”

Ultimately, she delivered the best carrier landing of her life—“a perfect pass,” she calls it.

Little did she know that at the same time, the US Department of Defense (DoD) and

the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) were already working with the National Academy of Medicine (formerly the Institute of Medicine) and the National Institutes of Health to examine exactly how integrative therapies such as yoga and mindfulness meditation might be used to benefit service members like herself.

From PTSD to Pain Management

Traditionally, military leaders often met these practices with skepticism. But over the past two decades, a series of clinical trials backed by a growing catalog of scientific evidence has persuaded high-level DoD health care experts to accept yoga and meditation as legitimate treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), pain management, and much more.

Part of the appeal: Experts familiar with the research suggest that yoga and mindfulness may actually be more cost effective and faster at promoting healing and preventing certain injuries than more-popular modalities such as surgery and prescription drugs. On a more grassroots level, active service members are tapping into the practice’s performance-enhancing and preventive benefits to make soldiers and operational staff more calm and resilient in the field—before shock, injury, or PTSD set in. In fact, efforts to embed yoga into every branch of the military have never been more aggressive.

Yoga is aggressively being adapted to the military field.

See also How High-Level Pentagon Officials Are Using Yoga to Destress

While much of the early research on yoga and the military focused on how meditation and mindful movement could help veterans mitigate PTSD (which has had significant impact at VA hospitals and has been linked to record suicide rates among vets), by the mid-aughts, other related areas of concern were coming into sharp focus.

According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, studies show that nearly 45 percent of soldiers and 50 percent of veterans experience pain regularly, and there’s a significant correlation among chronic pain, PTSD, and post-concussive symptoms such as fatigue, poor balance, sleep disturbances, and depression (meaning, if you have one, you’re more likely to experience one or more of the others).

“Musculoskeletal and mental health problems have really spiked, thanks to all the things that go along with active combat: carrying heavy loads, jumping in and out of aircraft—plus exposure to infectious diseases and violence,” says 42nd US Army Surgeon General, Eric Schoomaker, MD, PhD, who retired in 2012 and now serves as vice chair for Leadership, Centers, and Programs in the Department of Military and Emergency Medicine at the Uniformed Services University. Schoomaker is on a mission to bring yoga and its benefits to the frontlines of military health care.

During the mid-2000s, at the government level, new pain treatments and prevention techniques were in high demand. Surgery and prescription drugs weren’t working, and the military was hit especially hard by the opioid epidemic. In fact, in 2005—just two years into the Iraq War—narcotic painkillers were the most abused drugs in the military, according to a DoD survey of more than 16,000 service members. By 2011, it was estimated that up to 35 percent of wounded soldiers were dependent on prescription pain relievers.

In 2009, amidst the growing opioid epidemic, Schoomaker, then the Army Surgeon General, chartered the Army Pain Management Task Force. The goal? To come up with a new, comprehensive pain-management strategy utilizing the most up-to-date research available. The group included medical experts from the Army, Navy, Air Force, the Veterans Health Administration, and Tricare—the military’s health insurance program. Schoomaker tasked the group with extensively researching any modalities that might be effective in combating acute and chronic pain. Among the science-backed solutions presented, he says, were yoga and mindfulness meditation.

Since the Pain Management Task Force published its findings in 2010, interest in what’s now referred to in the DoD as complementary integrative health and medicine (CIH/CIM) has heightened within the government and private health care organizations looking to revolutionize mental and physical pain management in the armed forces. “By then, we recognized that yoga and mindfulness were sorely underutilized in this country,” says retired US Army Colonel Chester “Trip” Buckenmaier III, MD, program director and principal investigator for the Uniformed Services University’s Defense and Veterans Center for Integrative Pain Management.

But before a case could be made for their implementation among the armed forces, these practices would have to be studied in military-specific environments. Centuries of anecdotal evidence and outside research do not cut it when you’re talking about a globally deployed organization like the US military—especially when someone has to pick up the bill, Schoomaker says.

Several pain-research efforts ensued. One of the most groundbreaking was a study published in 2017 by the journal American Congress of Rehabilitation Medicine that examined the practicality and effectiveness of an individualized yoga program, dubbed RESTORE (Restorative Exercise and Strength Training for Operational Resilience and Excellence), designed to treat chronic lower-back pain in service members and their families. Researchers and yoga-treatment experts created a 15-pose asana sequence to promote strengthening, flexibility, and postural alignment—specifically to target core, back, and gluteal muscles. (For the full sequence, click here).

The RESTORE yoga practicing trial group experienced relieved symptoms more quickly than the control group.

Yoga teachers who led the practice went through a 200-hour Yoga Alliance teacher training and an additional 50-hour program-specific course “based on therapeutic yoga,” says lead author Krista Highland, PhD. A “cultural-competence training” ensured that yoga instructors understood how to act within a military structure and how to address “unique clinical characteristics that patients in the military might present with,” such as post-traumatic stress.

Fifty-nine service members participated in the eight-week trial, the majority of whom were active duty. During this time, the RESTORE and control groups continued individual treatment as usual (think medication, physical therapy, chiropractic, injections, massage, or acupuncture). The RESTORE group, however, also incorporated one to two yoga sessions per week, accompanied by breathwork and a guided meditation. Pain levels and symptoms such as physical impairments and sleep disturbance were monitored for six months after the trial began. The yoga and meditation group experienced symptom relief more quickly than those in the control group, reporting lower pain intensity at mid-treatment (four weeks) and post treatment (eight weeks).

“That’s extra months to get back to work, to function socially—to get out with friends and family members,” says Buckenmaier, who was one of the 11 researchers. “That’s so beneficial for these patients.” Schoomaker agrees: “In those weeks in which yoga has restored function and improved pain, other people turn to surgery and drugs—things that get them into trouble.” Instead, Schoomaker says, we ought to be frontloading practices such as yoga that focus on function and whole-body wellness—using them offensively and defensively as the first step in preventive care and medical treatment before chronic pain, illness, and drug use become issues.

While the government amasses the empirical evidence it needs, dozens of yoga non-profits are taking matters into their own hands. Lieutenant Colonel Jannell MacAulay, who retired from the military in June, was just 17 when she snapped her femur in half after a stress fracture went undiagnosed in basic training. Devastated and debilitated, MacAulay went through two surgeries and three months of rigorous rehab. In her determination to become a US Air Force pilot, she tried a variety of therapies—yoga, acupuncture, and trigger-point massage among them—in order to improve mobility.

Once she found a regular yoga routine, scar tissue, stiffness, and pain started improving little by little. “Yoga became a space of non-judgment and gratitude that I wasn’t getting anywhere else in my life,” MacAulay says. “I was completely stressed all the time—just going, going, going. But when I practiced yoga, I could be myself and invest in slowing down, which actually helped me speed up my career path as a professional in the military.”

See also: New Study Finds Yoga Significantly Reduces Depression in Male Veterans

Back in 2012, while government research was ramping up, MacAulay founded Healthy Body Healthy Life—a free, first-of-its-kind health-and-wellness initiative for military families that incorporates yoga, meditation, nutrition, and high-intensity interval training. She also pioneered a similar program at Kirtland Air Force Base, in New Mexico, when she was stationed there last year. Today, the Air Force pays her to travel the globe educating senior leaders about the importance of incorporating yoga into basic training—so soldiers can get ahead of mental and physical injuries before they happen. “We need to better prepare our military, not just to do the job, but to do the job under extreme stress,” she says. “Because that’s the reality in a combat zone. If we’re not using yoga and mindfulness, we’re missing out on creating the best human-weapon systems to operate in those environments.”

She’s not wrong. A resilience-training program that appeared in the American Journal of Psychiatry in 2014 studied 147 Marines who had undergone Mindfulness-Based Mind Fitness Training (MMFT)—a 20-hour, 8-week course that incorporates mindfulness and physical exercises designed by former US Army Captain Elizabeth Stanley, a Georgetown University professor who used yoga and meditation to combat her own PTSD. The MMFT program, developed in 2007, aims to enhance troop performance and mitigate the extreme mental and physical stress that comes with deployment. As part of pre-deployment training, the test subjects practiced MMFT in a mock Afghan village. Shrieking actors and controlled blasts simulated combat stress. Meanwhile, a control group of another 134 Marines went through the same simulation without MMFT.

The research team analyzed both groups’ blood and saliva samples, brain imaging, and a range of cognitive performance tests. The data showed that Marines who practiced MMFT demonstrated greater reactivity, better emotion and stress management, enhanced heart-rate and breath recovery, and a reduced anxiety response. “In other words, these soldiers were not only better equipped for handling stress,” Stanley wrote in the book Bio-Inspired Innovation and National Security, “but they also recuperated more quickly so that they were better prepared to handle any subsequent stressors.”

Today, the US Army is collaborating with Amishi Jha, an MMFT researcher and associate professor of psychology at the University of Miami, to investigate the scalability of mindfulness training designed specifically for military and other high-demand professions.

Yoga and mindfulness improves reactivity, emotion, stress management for those active in the military.

See also: Veterans Who Hit Rock Bottom Open Up About How Yoga Changed Their Lives

A Bright Future for Yoga in the Military

These research efforts and others have paid off in some ways. Today, half of existing US military treatment facilities (MTFs) recommend yoga to patients, and nearly a quarter offer it onsite—according to a report published in 2017 by the Rand Corporation, a nonprofit think tank. Currently, Tricare insurance, the military’s primary medical insurer, will pay for yoga only when it’s administered at an MTF: “The minute you go outside, you can’t get reimbursed,” Schoomaker says. Because sending troops offsite to practice yoga can be tricky. The health and wellness of service members is the military’s first priority, but if practiced incorrectly, asana can cause strain or further injury.

Schoomaker believes RESTORE could pave the way for non-harming, military-specific yoga programs that can be taught on base, because its success was twofold: It proved that yoga could be an accepted, successful treatment within an active-duty military community, and it demonstrated the potential for a standard approach to yoga as a pain-management tool. He compares it to the extensive work done by the chiropractic community and thinks yoga should follow a similar path.

For the uninitiated, by law, chiropractors must be board certified and adhere to state regulations. They’ve also launched very successful lobbying campaigns over the past 50 years to become established practitioners within the health-care community. Thanks to lobbying efforts back in the 1960s and ’70s, today chiropractic is covered by Medicare—and since 2000, chiropractic treatment has been available to all active duty service members.

“Yoga needs a standardized system of treatment that focuses on anatomy, physiology, and kinesiology,” Highland says. Buy-in from bill payers and legislators for additional programs and coverage will require cooperation from the yoga community

by way of national standards or licensure, adds Buckenmaier. Yet that’s the subject

of an ongoing debate among yoga leaders and teachers, who represent dozens, if not hundreds, of different styles and philosophies—all called “yoga.”

“Lawmakers want to know what a group does to self-regulate itself to ensure there’s competency among practitioners before they unleash them on the public,” says Len Wisneski, MD, chair of the Integrative Health Policy Consortium, which advises the new Integrative Health and Wellness Congressional Caucus, a nonpartisan educational forum for lawmakers to discuss potential integrative-health legislation based on new research from experts. The caucus was announced in October 2017 and provides enormous opportunity to integrate yoga into an evolving health-care system focused not just on illness but on prevention and wellness—notably within the military. “People assume the military is rigid,” Wisneski says. “When, in fact, it’s incredibly innovative when it comes to being open to new ideas. They just want to know if something works and what it costs. If it’s non-harmful and noninvasive, they’ll try it.”

To this end, last September, the US Department of Health and Human Services, the DoD, and the VA announced a joint partnership—the first of its kind—to comprehensively study approaches for pain management beyond pharmacological treatments. Twelve research projects, costing an estimated $81 million over six years, will be used to develop, implement, and test non-drug approaches, including yoga and meditation, for

pain management and other conditions treated by military and veteran health-care organizations.

“The future is bright,” Schoomaker says. “For the first time, these three federal agencies are aligned in searching for a better understanding of the scientific effectiveness of these modalities—to tackle some of the issues like how these complementary integrative approaches can be used and delivered to service members.”

But MacAulay and Corwin, who have both taught yoga on several military bases, say that while yoga for pain management is a worthy cause, the dire need is for preventive programs—ones that train soldiers before suffering sets in.

“We can’t wait until we get injured or are out of the service to have these things available to us,” says Corwin, an ambassador for the Give Back Yoga Foundation, a nonprofit that supports and funds research-backed, clinically tested yoga programs for marginalized populations. “We have to get it early on in our careers.” For that to happen, she says, yoga teachers who work with service members must tailor their classes with the unique culture of the armed forces in mind: “Active military members need to be handled so differently [from civilian students]. You have to be conscious of what you’re teaching, because soldiers may not have the luxury of completely surrendering on the yoga mat when they have to wake up the next morning and do something that they’d probably rather not do.”

Another challenge is creating classes that are rewarding and engaging to a population that’s physically fit by trade, says Corwin. “They’re young, they’re athletic—so what kind of yoga classes do they need?” Sweating, she says, is essential.

The military spokespeople and yoga researchers we spoke with agree that

a culturally specific style of yoga will be an integral part of the puzzle, but it’s just one cog in a very elaborate machine. Another thing everyone agrees on is that progress, especially in a global system like the armed forces, takes time.

But things seem to be headed in the right direction for advocates of using yoga as a preventive practice. Thanks to a legacy of research such as the MMFT program, the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2019 requires the Secretary of Defense to launch a pilot program that provides mindfulness-based stress-reduction training to members of the armed forces before they’re deployed to combat zones—in order to study its effects on stress management and PTSD prevention.

“I’m constantly optimistic,” says MacAulay. “Three years ago I gave my first presentation and was called ‘brave’ and ‘bold’ for having the guts to talk about yoga in a professional military forum. But today, more and more senior leaders are inviting me to share this message about yoga and mindfulness with this community.” begin applying yoga and mindfulness to prepare soldiers for combat.

See also: A Healing Meditation for Caregivers of Wounded Warriors (It Only Takes 5 Minutes!)

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