#and then i kept getting phone calls from my irl ex-friend who was a bitch and ignoring them and i woke up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agent-grey-fics · 1 year

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Holy fucking shit I’m so annoyed with my ex. Like I had this on and off thing with a guy for almost 5 (!!) years, I know that I’m stupid for keeping it going for that long. Anyway, we kinda grew apart but kept in touch through socials and hooked up now and then. I was head over heels in love with him ‘cause my traumatic ass didn’t know any better. Fast forward to me finding the tiniest bit of self respect and banning him from my life for a solid 2 years during the pandemic, trying to move on. (Even explaining to him why I need him out of my life and he agreeing with me and saying I should have done it sooner ‘cause he treated me terribly. He did, believe me. All my friends actually hate him because he was awful to me and emotionally manipulated and abused me for so long. For example, he would often tell me that no one else would ever love me cause I wasn’t pretty enough, calling me a whore when he was high or drunk and stuff like that )

I had 2 good years of quarantining with my dorm mates, living life away from my hometown, then life slowly starts again and me and my friends (from my hometown) start to hang out and go to parties again. Surprise, I see him at those parties ‘cause my friends are kinda his friends. Well, we all went to high school together but they were originally my friends so yeah more his acquaintances. Me not wanting to be a bitch, I don’t make a big deal of it that he tags along and I’m being polite, giving him a small smile whenever he joins but keeping my distances.

He had send me follow/friend requests on fb and insta as well so I was like ‘yeah why not, we can be civil’. BUT then he fucking starts ignoring me at those parties whiles he stands next to me, like not reacting to my attempts to smalltalk, just giving me an off look and taking to the person next to me. Like dude, you literally walked up to our group and choose to stand next to me, if you don’t wanna talk to me go stand somewhere else?

Whiles he ignores me irl, he starts liking all my insta pics, commenting on my stories etc. My drunk ass one night send him a ‘you up’ text, big fucking mistake, he wasn’t in town btw so nothing happened but the whole night he kept texting me saying that he always loved me and that he just never knew how to show it and that changed for the better. Then he start texting me things like ‘we should date gain’, ‘let me take you out’, ‘let us try again’.Stuff like that and I know it’s my fucking fault cause I bootycalled him but I told him the day after like ‘I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair I’m not looking for anything else. Apologies, won’t happen again’. But he keeps asking me out and I keep declining ‘cause I don’t want to see him one on one. I wake up one morning a couple of days later to a notification on my phone that he deletete a bunch of text that he had sent me. And he texted ‘I said some vulnerable things that I don’t want you to use against me’ LIKE YOU SHITHEAD YOURE THE ONE WHO LITERALLY DID THAT FOR AS LONG AS WE WERE DOING WHATEVER WE WERE DOING. IM IN LITERAL THERAPY BECAUSE I DONT TRUST MEN ANYMORE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID AND I WANTED TO BE DECENT AND NOT MEAN AND LET YOU IN MY LIFE AGAIN AND THEN YOU ACT LIKE A FUCKING BABY?

I was soooo mad back then. Anyway, couple of weeks pass by and he keeps reacting to my stories and asking questions. This leaves me all confused ‘cause I figured he was done since deleting all these texts. Me being done with his shit choose to ignore him.

Fast forward to last week, I noticed that I lost followers on my socials. Turns out that he unfollowed me, like big deal idc. But then I was wondering just a couple of minutes ago if he unfollowed me or blocked me, so I look for his name in my DM’s on insta AND THIS FUCKER DELETE ALL HIS TEXT SINCE I TURNED HIM DOWN. Like they were still there like a fucking week ago ‘cause he reacted to one of my stories again and I opened it and I remember seeing alle his DM’s.

I get so mad over this, like why you acting like this? I strongly believe that he’s dating someone, like good for him ‘cause we were toxic for each other. But stop acting like a child and like you’re the victim here whiles we both know what fucking happened.

And this whole rant sounds stupid and pathetic, I know that. But he was for real the first guy I ever loved, the only one actually. I even believed that when we both would graduate Uni and work a couple of years and mature that we would find our ways back to each other and end up getting married. I would have taken him back in a heartbeat if he got his act back together. But now he just makes my blood boil by acting so childish and deleting his text and oh my god ughhhh.

I know I’m as much at fault with this whole situation as he is and that ignoring him wasn’t right. But if I tell someone +3 times that I don’t want to date them and they keep trying and texting yeah sorry but then I won’t respond anymore.. but deleting your texts come one dude.

Sorry I just had to let this out.

#situationship

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utterly-disappointed · 1 year

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if you see this post and you know me irl stop reading pls

this is 100% a vent post thats gonna make me sound like a whiny selfish brat.

im not cis, idk exactly what I am, probs genderfluid honestly, but im definately not cis. The reason this probs upset me so much is because im in a very masc mood atm.

Last year i accidently left my laptop open on twitter in my dads room, it was on my profile screen. My pfp at the time was a picrew of myself with the nonbinary flag in the bg. My parents never said anything at the time but they kept trying to coax me into being a girl. My mum says a lot of stuff on how im the perfect girl and im very ladylike and am going to become an amazing woman. Also ive told my parents before i never want to have kids and that i dont like makeup and shit like that but they always tell me I will want all that stuff oneday. Like yea maybe i will but atm I dont so stop trying to change the way I feel. Also one of my (ex)friends called me my preffered name infront of my parents even when I asked them not too and of course my parents asked about it and I told them it was a nickname(same excuse i used at school when these bitches in my class kept trying to out me to my teacher). Anyway im pretty positive my parents know Im not cis which sucks. My parents constantly make fun of trans people, my mum(who is a psychologist) told me that anyone who is trans must be mentally ill and something has to be very wrong with you to be like that.

My birthday was a few days ago and my mum lost my gift, she gave it to me today and it was a bunch of cheap makeup from kmart. Obviously I said thanks and stuff but my mum didnt like my tone apparently cause she started getting mad at me about how i never appreciate her gifts. I told her i appreciated the thought but i just don’t really like makeup that much and i never use it except for the occasional lip gloss. But she just got sooo pissed at me and threatened to take my phone away, and then my dad came and started getting mad at me too for disrecpecting my mum. I was jsut sobbing and crying in my kitchen at that point while i was trying to feed my dogs. I only just got away from my parents and honestly rn i just wanna die.

If u read this far thanks for listening to my rant and sorry for all the spelling mistakes im just really upset rn

#vent

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i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships · 5 years

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Only Us

Ok, so more writing for the not bread shrine. (That’s the one-shot tag. The Not Bread Shrine.) The prompt for this one came from anon. I told them that I was writing both, and I am. It’s just that my Prinxietea fiend came out and wanted to write this one first. Also, to that anon, I switched it to songs from various musicals because yeah? (And I’ve only listened to musical theater songs for the past like 3 months. (When I have the choice and my taste in pop music is like earlier 2000s because that was good music that I remember from when I was like 3.) My life aside, serious talk time.

Songs Used: Meant To Be Yours (Heathers) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD7x_7tUFNI

Only Us (Dear Evan Hansen) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPvO1sZkOx0

(Crap tons of others are mentioned. The words of these two songs are used though)

Parings: Prinxietea (Prinxiety)

Tw: Cursing and the murderous kind of fluff

Word Count: 1985

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“Hey Ro, how much longer till we get there?” Virgil asked not looking up from his phone.

They’d only been in the car for 2 of the 16 hours it takes to get from Florida to New York. 2 hours. This is going to be a long drive. Roman thought before answering his boyfriend’s question.

“14 more hours, love.”

Virgil set his phone down. “UGH!! THAT LONG!!!”

Roman laughed a little bit. “May I remind you that we’re driving from Florida to New York?”

“Well, whoever decided to drive is an idiot.”

Roman laughed again. “You decided to drive stormcloud.” Roman would’ve loved to see Virgil’s expression at that, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the road or Virgil would freak out.

Virgil tried to move on from the fact that he’d just called himself an idiot. “Well, if we’re stuck in this car for another 14 hours can we put on something other than this crap?” He gestured to the radio. Virgil was never one for pop music. Roman would much rather listen to musical theater soundtracks, and that’s what he put on.

It was a long playlist that Roman had put on shuffle. The first song that came up was Meant To Be Yours.

Virgil’s face lit up. Heathers had always been his favorite musical. Virgil didn’t sing, Roman, however, being the extra bitch he was started singing at the top of his lungs. “You chucked me out like I was trash for that you should be dead. But! But! But! Then it hit me like a flash what if high school went away instead!” Virgil stared in awe at his boyfriend. Questioning how he was such a good singer.

Then came a mix of theater songs. However, the order that the shuffle put the songs in was so random. Virgil, being the conspiracy theorist that he was, kept trying to figure out “WHAT THE HELL IT WANTS FROM US!!” Every time another song would start playing Virgil would add on to the story that he’d come up with.

Roman was amused with every addition that each new song brought. After three hous the story went as follows:

(Cautionary Tale (Mean Girls) and Kindergarten Boyfriend (Heathers)) Be careful with love.

(You Will Be Found (DEH)) Even if you're not careful with love, and you get hurt, someone will see you and you'll be found.

(Be More Chill (Part 1.) (BMC)) Once found, be careful what you do and what friends you choose.

(Fight For Me (Heathers)) Also, you will meet someone who's beating the shit out of the people you hate.

(The Pants Song (BMC)) Also, in that moment please be wearing pants.

(Revenge Party (Mean Girls)) You then will invoke revenge on the people that were getting the shit beat out of them.

(I Love Play Rehearsal (BMC)) You will find this person to be incredibly adorable.

(Our Love Is God (Heathers)) You’ll then fall in love with this person and go commit murder with them.

(All You Wanna Do (Six)) This person will be sexually attracted to you.

(World Burn (Mean Girls)) This person wants to watch the world burn.

(Two-Player Game (BMC)) This person will become one of your best friends.

(The Squip Enters (BMC)) You will meet another person who will be similar to the Squip.

(Someone Gets Hurt (Mean Girls)) The Squip person will hurt you.

(Heart Of Stone (Six)) The other person will break your heart.

(Someone Gets Hurt (Reprise) (Mean Girls)) You will tell these two people off.

(Lifeboat (Heathers)) Then you will fall into a deep depression.

(Be More Chill (Part 2) (BMC)) Your self-deprecation will get bad and the voices in your head will be very persuasive.

(Sexy (Mean Girls)) Karen Smith will bring you joy during this dark time.

(So Big/So Small (DEH)) You will start to lose more people close to you.

(I’d Rather Be Me (Mean Girls)) But then you will realize you’d rather be yourself then be with those people.

(To Break In A Glove (DEH)) You will learn that the hard and right way is the way that you should use.

(Do You Wanna Hang? (BMC)) You will be put in an uncomfortable situation and not be able to do anything.

(Ex-Wives (Six)) You will get a chance to start again and rewrite your history.

(Fearless (Mean Girls)) You will become fearless. You will no longer fear death.

(Requiem (DEH)) One of the first 2 people mentioned will die. You will refuse to grieve.

(Me Inside Of Me (Heathers)) You will have killed them. You then need to cover up your mistakes.

(Stop (Mean Girls)) Your conscious will tell you to stop doing murders.

(The Squip Song (BMC)) You will be offered a Squip and be in denial because it’s BMC IRL. (Or you know, just like drugs.)

(Freeze Your Brain (Heathers)) You refuse the drugs and/or Squip and obtain a Slurpee addiction to combat your depression.

(Don’t Lose Ur Head (Six)) You will begin to be “Sorry not sorry for what I said”.

(Apex Predator (Mean Girls)) You will judge the most popular girl in school.

(Voices In My Head (BMC)) You will begin to accept the voices in your head and know that they are normal.

(Where Do You Belong (Mean Girls)) You will find a new home where you are accepted.

(No Way (Six)) You will refuse to be accepted by these people.

(Sincerely Me (DEH)) You will write emails to yourself and an imaginary pen pal.

(Get Down (Six)) You will be the “Queen” of your “Castle”

(What’s Wrong With Me (Reprise) (Mean Girls)) You will question what’s wrong with you.

Then it was time for a rest stop. A total of 3 hours had passed by that time. Both Roman and Virgil’s sides aked from laughing as much as they did. Once they got out of the car Roman intertwined their fingers and swung their arms as they walked into the rest stop.

There was a McDonalds inside. They ordered and stood by the counter so then they could grab their food and leave.

While they were waiting, Virgil asked Roman “Hey Ro, how much money do you have?” Roman wasn’t aware of where Virgil was going and said “I dunno. Like 10 bucks? Why?” Virgil was slightly offended by Roman not saying the line. I mean, you should only have to hear “Road work ahead? Uhh yeah. I sure hope it does.” like 10 times to know that this person is going to keep making Vine references.

Anyways, Virgil ignored Roman missing the reference and said “Oh! You know what that means!” Roman sighed before putting on a very dramatic face and said: “I don’t have enough money for chicken nugget.”

Virgil smiled and intertwined their fingers again. (I like the phrase “intertwined their fingers” idk why. I just do) “I knew you would get it at some point.” Roman smiled fondly at Virgil. “Why are you like this?”

Virgil leaned on Roman and told him “Oh come on!! You know you love me.” Virgil didn’t intend for it to be a Disney reference, but Roman took it that way.”Do I know that? Yes. Yes, I do.” They both laughed a little bit before they were interrupted by their order being called. They grabbed their food and went back to the car.

After they ate and threw out their trash, they began driving again. Virgil had forgotten the story that he’d come up with so he just moved on.

The song that came on first after they started driving again was More Than Survive from Be More Chill. Roman sang again (he sang just about every song that came on). Virgil smiled. He had always enjoyed Roman’s singing. This whole time he had wanted to sing, but he didn’t. He knew Roman wouldn’t mind. He’d enjoy having an extra person to sing with.

Especially for duets.

Virgil smiled even brighter at the thought of the two of them singing something sassy like Apex Predator or just fun like Two-Player Game. But he didn’t. He wasn’t planning on singing either.

Well, I guess the best way to put it is keyword: planning.

The first piano notes that were the opening to Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen began to play. There had been an hour or two’s worth of songs that came on between More Than Survive and Only Us. Roman had been wrapped up in his own world of miscellaneous theater songs. Virgil guessed that he was going to take both Zoe (That’s how it is spelled on the Wiki so that’s how I’m spelling it) and Evan’s parts, but he didn’t care. Once Laura Dreyfuss began singing he did as well.

However, Virgil was very quiet, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you.”

The next line he sang a little louder. But not loud enough for Roman to hear him. “I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should.”

The next few lines were just barely audible. “You don’t have to convince me. You don’t have to be scared your not enough. ‘Cause what we got going, is good.”

The next set of lines were only slightly more audible. “I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken. I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget. Clear the slate and start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. We can’t compete with all that.”

Virgil had a nice crescendo going and he didn’t even realize until he was singing the chorus very loudly. “So what if it’s us? What if it’s us, and only us? And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. Can we try that? What if it’s you? And what if it’s me? And what if that’s all that we need it to be? And the rest of the world falls away. What do you say?” Roman had stopped singing Zoe’s part once he heard Virgil.

He did come in with Evan’s part though.

“I never thought there’d be someone like you, who would want me.” Virgil smiled. “Well.” Roman looked at Virgil using his peripheral vision as to not get lectured for not keeping his eyes on the road and how they could’ve died. “So I give you ten-thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you really see me if you like me for me and nothing else, well that’s all that I’ve wanted for longer than you could possibly know.”

Roman braced himself. He knew what was coming next. He was scared that once he started singing with Virgil that he’d crash the car.

“So it can be us. It can be us, and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore or matter. We can try that.”

Virgil smiled at Roman before coming back in and having the two of them sing together.

“It’s not so impossible.” Roman was starting to get convinced that he was going to crash the car. Virgil’s voice was incredible. “Nobody else but the two of us here.”

Virgil noticed Roman tensing up and intertwined their fingers. “‘Cause you’re saying it’s possible.”

“We can just watch the whole world disappear.”

“Till you’re the only one I still know how to see.”

“It’s just you and me.”

“It’ll be us. It’ll be us and only us. And what came before won’t count anymore!”

“We can try that! You and me! That’s all that we need it to be! And the rest of the world falls away! And the rest of the world falls away. The world falls away. The world falls away.”

“And it’s only us.”

God. What Roman would’ve given to kiss Virgil in that moment.

However, he’d made up his mind.

Next rest stop…

He’d kiss the fuck out of his Emo Nightmare.

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Taglist: @winterswishing @thetomorrowshow @an-existing-leah @iixclementine @elatedgiff

@rain-bound I was that anon who asked if you’d like to be tagged like 2 days ago.

@just-some-gt-trash I figured you’d love this.

@stop-it-anxiety I value your opinion greatly and I’d like to know what you think.

#Em's crappy attempts at writing #The Not Bread Shrine Writings #That tag is here to stay #Also this is my new favorite thing I've written.#Just ahh!!!#Too cute!!#prinxietea #prinxiety

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randomorwhatever · 4 years

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my manipulative/emotinal abuser ex-friend

ok, another story time :

In light of some recent events, I decided to speak about this.

I had this online friend ( oh shocking ) born ugly doesn’t help with making friends irl ok anywho.

How did it start :

It was an online streaming service, I was watching this channel and interacting with the chat and stuff, and all of’ve sudden I get a message on my account, happy that someone noticed my existence ( i want attention who doesn’t human nature am i right ) , ok I'll try to look up how we started talking and what did we talk about .

so in search for the old messages, i found out they changed their user name to a girl’s huh interesting

it was the trolly usual stuff degenerates talk about where u from Lada de la da da etc ...

and then he says this :

P:thanks for talking to me

P: im very lonely u know

P: i dont have friends

Flags bitch these are some serious red flags I did not know back then but now I do, i dismissed it as yeah it’s just a one-time conversation you know.and then he says THIS :

P: i dont have anyone to talk and that feels awful.

me: but like u have a friend or 2 right?

P: nope.

P: i havent talked to a real human in months.

me: like none ?

me: for real ?

P: nope

THE LIES lol this is a total foreshadowing I’m getting there, YEAH, so we liked the same channels, we had the same self-deprecating jokes same type of humour, I was leaving and he wanted us to stay in contact so I was like yeah and he added me on discord.

Getting to know each other and the manipulation :

we continued talking afterwards and I found out I had more things in common with him, he told me about his story growing up and I felt sorry for him because he had it rough for real.(or so he made it be idk idk)

Fast forward to a month or so , he started hinting he liked more than just a friend , i dismiss it as per usual, and he had this thing where he would always call himself stupid and stuff , I tried to convince’ him otherwise and tried so hard to change how he viewed himself which is stuff I struggled with too but decided I was the bigger person and tried at least to make him feel better.

I won’t lie when I was going through some shit he always had my back and kept encouraging me he was so” supportive”.

BUT .... whenever i became distant because I do that sometimes; he threatens to kill himself and once I was feeling really bad i needed some time off he just went on a frenzy and cut his hair off (and got back to cutting) i don’t know if it’s real or not but that shit scared;me I was afraid to not be online and not contact him .

The next time he asked me to go out with him which is physically impossible because he was like 1000km I tried to explain to him why i don’t do that and i had my reasons too , but he wouldn’t take it and started crying and was so miserable which made me feel super bad so I brushed that incident off too .

and since then everytime i say something like that upsets him or doesnt line up with what he wants he tells me he was going to cut or end it all .

THE LIES UNRAVELED :

i was going away for a couple of days and had no regular access to the internet so i told him;scared he would do something , and when i was away i would check up on his profile to see if he was online from time to time and i notcied somethign he told me he had NO FRIENDS, not even online firends, but i see he has been duoing with this person for quite awhile:lie numero uno .

and this is another event , he told me he deleted this game , and right after i check his profile and boom he played a game right before he told me of his decision and even after he was still playing lie numero dos

some stuff about him didn’t add up too, how he was starving himself for like a week and by GOD’S GRACE is still alive somehow: lie numero i stopped counting by that point because there were too many.

yeah, and did i mention that he told me his parents took away his phone and laptop and SOMEHOW i could stll see his recent games that were played after the incident .

weird i know , mind you he wasn’t going out so the fact that he might’ve been playing in pc bang was quiet unlikely .

Anyhow this was too long and too hard to write about , sadly this relationship or whatever it was came to an end over something stupid , he called me something i did not like i stopped replying he stopped contacting me and it was over just like that .

there were some good times too we had the same interests so we always watched tourney’s together and commented and had our own points and reward system , and the memes it was the best part tbh .

I left some things out , but i appreciated what we had and miss it sometimes .

after we stopped talking i remember i chekced his profile and saw that he didn’t log in for like a week , i cried buckets i thought he really commited sucied because he was addcited to this game so him not playing was a bad sign, i forgot that it was somehow an older version of the page and refreshed and through some other means i found out he was still alive . thank god.

we don’t talk but the period that we did and the fear i lived was real imagine you’re being responsible for sombody else’s life .

sorry for taking so long and the bad grammar and vocab but this wil forever haunt me . it fucks your mind forever.

i’m not all there mentally so it just added up to whatver kinda fucked up i had , i still wish him happiness and to be a better human .

But i don’t feel trapped anymore , tip toeing my words and actions , you’re not supped to feel like that with a friend . afriend is someone who make you feel safe and loved .

#friendship #manipulation #gas lightning #relationships #heartbreak

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zensjagi · 5 years

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holy shit i just woke up from the worst nightmare, like it wasn t THAT scary but the feeling it gave me was terrifying

it’s 1:38am

i dreamed that i was hanging out with zen from mystic messenger but something felt a bit off and one of my friends (B) was with me and it was like i couldn’t talk or move my mouth properly and B said haha it’s like you’ve been drugged and i was like lol but then i was talking to zen and he wasn’t acting right and suddenly things got blurry and i was opening my eyes and someone was grabbing my jaw and holding it shut whispering shhh, shh.... and i was in a different room and it turns out someone WAS drugging me and had kidnapped me and none of that was real and they just pushed me back into the drug induced dream

then suddenly someone was shaking me and yelling my name and i sluggishly woke up and the real zen was there and he protected me from my kidnapper, there was a brawl and zen started losing but i threw in a cross, a head kick and a knee and managed to get him out and knock out my kidnapper (who it turned out was in love with me abd was keeping me drugged up so i couldn’t leave him) and then zen hugged me and i cling onto his arm and he held my hand and he was so warm and comforting and observant

and suddenly i was back home and it was 2am but i felt like going for a walk so i took my laptop and walked down the street and i was just chillin using my laptop but i accidentally dropped it and the ground it fell onto was like knee high gravel and it sunk inside and broke (the screen came off and the back came off but it was still connected by wires so everything still worked) (not relevant but i was watching a minecraft music video when it happened ??)

so i picked it up and looked and i could fix it but i needed a screwdriver so i went home to get one but as i was leaving i saw a woman and her two young children and we started talking and she walked me home bc she thought she saw someone staring at me and wanted to help so she and her kids hung out in my dining room while i found a screwdriver and i let them look through my pokémon cards and it was really hard to talk cos i was chewing gum and there was so much it kept sticking my teeth and lips together. but i explained to her that i was going thru my old school stuff cos i graduated last year hence why the pokémon cards were out (i let the kids pick a few to keep) and the woman laughed and said she remembered going thru her school stuff as well and called me disorganised for not doing it sooner (jokingly tho, also irl i have gone thru it like last year so idk where that came from lol)

anyway then we all went back down the street but my dad was till awake and piss drunk (he’s an alcoholic) and i watched as he fell down some concrete steps and tumble down a hill and there was a really loud crash and i asked if he was okay and he said yeah but then i fell too but landed on lots of foam and hay and called out for him to help but his voice sounded really scary so i said never mind and climbed back up

the woman left so i grabbed my laptop to bring back to the house

in my room was a girl maybe 14? and she was apparently my younger sister (irl i’m an only child). she looked kinda like a young ariana grande, like disney channel days

anyway i needed to keep the cat in my room and my sister was being a dick and not letting me close the door but eventually got out of my room and i was like bitch if you wanted to come out u could’ve told me i just needed the cat to stay in the room and she was like “oh” and left

and my other friend (C) arrived and was like lol let’s have some shots of vodka and i was like a. you’re driving soon and b. i have to be up in a couple hours to drive to muay thai so no then she disappeared and was replaced by B and suddenly i felt like i was drugged again but ignored it

then i realised i left my phone down the street so B went with me to go get it and it turned out my dad had been kidnapped. and even though i’d brought my laptop inside it was suddenly outside again and there was a lantern (like an LED one) that i needed to bring in as well so my hands were kinda full

but then B was like hey leah? we need to go

and i was like why

turned out there was a lady (maybe 40-50yo) who was an ex-marine who had a lawn chair set up in her driveway and was staring creepily at us and nodding for us to come closer

B walked a bit too far ahead from me and the woman got up and walked towards me saying “one of you come here :)” and u screamed for B but she didn’t hear me and the lady laughed and said “don’t be afraid pussycat” and i was getting major rapey vibes so i tried to run but i kept fumbling my laptop which was apparently very important that i brought back home

and then it was insinuated that she kidnapped me and the story became a loop to the beginning, or maybe i was drugged still the whole time and only thought zen rescued me earlier as a part of being drugged, the dream wasn’t totally clear

but yeah that was the nightmare i literally just woke up from i’m going back to sleep now if anyone wants to analyse it pls do and hmu lmao goodnight

#dreams #personal #weird dreams #mysme #hyun ryu

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callout100-blog · 7 years

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Callout for Gabriel / @niehmas

Previous URLs: heretiic, illiios, q-imick, vo0dka, siiege, cruciifx, gothsirens, 00-101 and niehmas

This callout is for harassment, stalking, transphobia, transmisogyny, and racism.

I am an anonymous witness to the statements this post contains, and I decided to write this in a first person narrative from the POV of Gabriel’s ex and victim, Shiryo / @nnyas.

Google Doc Version

Harassing/Stalking

Gabe claimed that I was stalking his friends and sent me this anon that contains my birth name. I am not happy that he posted my birth name on public without permission and it made me uncomfortable that he kept calling me she/her or a girl. Back when we were dating, he would correct his friends whenever they’d use they or he for me, saying “(birthname) is she/her”, and they were like oh okay. I was feeling uncomfortable and tried to talk to him about it and since he was my boyfriend at that time I only wanted him to use it, but I couldn’t say so because I was really scared he wouldn’t like me anymore just because I’m genderfluid. That’s why I let him keep telling others to use she/her. What bothered me the most though was that he would tell his friends to use she/her because I have boobs, which is clearly transphobic and transmisogynistic.

When we first started dating, he suddenly disappeared a week or so later. He blocked me on most of his media apps and deactivated some accounts. I was freaking out and worried something had happened to him in real life. I waited for maybe three days then I couldn’t take it anymore so I messaged one of his irl friends and asked him if Gabriel was okay and that hopefully he wouldn't get mad with me about this. His friend began explaining to me that Gabriel was good, all happy and was talking to them and the group chat about this guy he meet irl that they thought he may have a crush on, and that Gabriel was questioning himself a lot. His friend told Gabriel that they were concerned about my thoughts and feelings about this, but he ignored that for some reason. His friend told me all of this because they wanted us to talk about it and I wanted to talk to him about it as well and see for myself if he actually does like this person, because then we shouldn’t be dating. If he wanted to keep dating though then I wanted to see if we could fix this.

After this, I decided to post on my old tumblr of how “I am sad and hurt, hopefully it wasn’t the truth, I can’t believe that he had done this. I wonder if Gabriel really likes his new friend as a crush. I feel bad and want to cry. My heart hurts” and then his friend quickly messaged me these:

This shows that he had been watching and stalking my blog for about a week, despite having deactivated his tumblr and having blocked me on his social media.

All of this is the reason why he decided to claim that I am ‘psychotic’ and ‘stalking him and his irl friend’ and posted this:

These are some of his blogs, which I’ve blocked him on.

I’ve also blocked his rabbit.

He also leaked my friend’s nude in a group chat that contained 4 or 5 of his friends, my friend, and I, just because my friend annoyed him or they had a problem. I don’t have screenshot of it but people were commenting “oh gosh!” and telling him how wrong it was, and Gabriel’s only response was “I told him don’t f with me! I told him so! I told him I’m going do something!” My friend was like “what the fuck, gabe” and was telling his friends “why are you guys commenting about how gross it is, this is messed up”.

So I directly talked to Gabriel in private about how wrong it is to post someone’s nude even if you guys might have problem with each other. He only kept saying “I bet you hate me now.” I kept telling him “I don’t but I’m going tell you that’s wrong of you” and that he should apologize to my friend. I then decided to message my friend.

Moving on, Gabriel would keep insulting me at random times.

I got tired of him doing this so I decided to try and stand up for myself.

Racism

^In this cap I was trying to defend myself again when he was insulting me, and then he decided to use the n word even though he is not black.

^In this cap I am asking him why his friend thinks I would kill him, and he once again used the n word.

He would also tell me all the time that since my mutuals hate white people, they’re racist.

Transphobia and transmisogyny

He has said to my face that nb is fake and hurting ”real trans people” and that my act of being genderfluid is hurting them and I’m transphobic. I have been feeling horrible and guilty for nearly 5 months straight and I couldn’t tell anyone I’m genderfluid because I kept thinking I’m wrong for it and that I’m terrible and that he’s right in saying I’m a piece of shit.

When yaxaxa/Nina was around before the call out, she called him out once because of what he would say about trans people and she said that she didn’t understand him. He posted one time saying “lol lucky I could block whoever I know isn’t real trans.” I was still scared of him but I really wanted so badly to tell him that he shouldn’t say that about people because their appearance might be the way it is right now because of parent issues, fear of coming out, insufficient funds to change their appearance or that even maybe they’re comfortable like that so they’re still real. But he always knew how to make me feel bad and would always turn the tables around against me, hence why I never spoke up.

^This is what he replied with to the post Yaxawa/Nina made about him.

^I also found this ask from Yaxawa/Nina’s blog. That’s his other old url.

^I screenshotted this because it got me thinking how it say he’s following me but right after it is that ask. Let me tell you this, nobody and I mean nobody who follows my blog is against nb and I have never had a mutual who is against it either. The only person I personally know who is against that is him.

Here is his fake apology

I had decided to block him because I was starting to have frequent panic attacks because of him. However, he noticed and sent me the following messages.

He use to snap at me a lot back then and would insult me and tell me to shut up just because he was not in a good mood or lost a video game or due to life problems.

I thought I should be understandable and forgive him for saying all those awful things.

He was being so kind to me and didn’t snap at me for nearly three days. I thought maybe he had changed but I was dumb. People can’t change that fast and that was foolish of me. He started posting this:

I asked for an irl friend’s help for this because we both know I would go soft and let this pass. I typed down what she told me to on the phone.

The links he sent contained the following images:

So I decided to ask him about that.

But he just used the n word again, even though he is not black.

I didn’t get the whole screenshot but I only responded with ‘ok’ after that, then we stopped talking for one whole day. The next day he told me “I would rather fuck other girls than a basic f*ggt tumblr bitch like you” and quickly blocked me.

I would love to have even more proof and screencaps about all the horrible things he has said and done, but he deactivated his Facebook account (which contained more proof), and he logged into a few of my old blogs and deactivated them.

#heretiic #illiios #q-imick #vo0dka #siiege #cruciifx #gothsirens #00-101 #niehmas #callout #drama #discourse #harassment/#stalking/#transphobia/#transmisogyny/#racism/

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