#and this is me doing an unkindness to myself

[broodygaming]

"TOXIC positivity for thinking it’s normal to, idk, enjoy the shows you watch."

no, toxic positivity is when a fandom can't take criticism and makes insular bubbles where they harass anyone who falls out of love with a thing or strawmans two different points into one so they can sound smart and win a shower argument.

y'know, like you did when you conflated the railroading and aimless arguments. :/

What’s a shower argument?

Haha wild. Anyways. Still don’t get ppl who have time to hate the things they watch. Seems really sad. Sorry ur in such a place. Hope you learn to love yourself more than that at some point.

#is a shower argument like an argument you have with yourself and imaginary ppl in the shower? #anon #asks #like when u just wanna talk or think so you do it in the shower #that makes sense I guess #to be fair I do seek out the cr discourse tag to see what shit ppl are spouting this week #and this is me doing an unkindness to myself #I’d argue checking a tag on tumblr every couple of weeks is a bit different from watching a 4 hour show once a week #but to each their own #i think I remember the post this is about #ohhh yeah I said they can’t both be railroaded and be aimless and like obviously I was being ironic #cuz it’s a long show and they obviously can haha #but more about like??? it’s just tiresome when you enjoy something to have to scrolll through a dozen posts with ppl saying nasty shit #I don’t get iittttttt #like if I don’t like something I just stop watching I don’t go look up the tag and complain and insist #that anyone who is still watching MUST be a fool and wrong and if they would just LISTEN to WHY #i hate the show they’d see reason #like it’s fine fam! don’t watch! shoo! #peace be with you! #let me look at cute pics of girls with big round glasses and sad animatics of gingers throwing fireballs #and lesbians who have more blood on their hands than in their hearts and watch them soften around each other #love them all

[aropride]

this post was a game changer for me. thank you ryan reynolds

#text #LIKE. i beat myself up for a WHILE abt my reaction #But what that person did was much worse #& i did not say a single unkind word to them #& if i had a big freak-out break-down on a PRIVATE BLOG that was essentially a diary because i DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE STALKING ME ONLINE ⁉️⁉️⁉ #well i was well within my right to do so. because i should not have been expected to account for their feelings right after what they did #IN MY OWN PRIVATE SPACE. !!!!!!!!! GOD. #and i kept myself in check speaking directly to them & thats all that should have been expected from me. i was allowed to say mean things a #about them in what was essentially a digitsl journal. after they LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED ME ‼️‼️‼️ #Sorry Everyone im finally going back and like processing stuff from years ago due in no small part to the shelby abuse stream #so sry if im complaining abt being traumatized more than usual 😒 #traumablogging

[nakanotamu]

#Stardom #Hazuki #Utami Hayashishita #This is - so fucking laser focused and targeted at me specifically directly #it's rude. it's unkind. wtf am I supposed to do with myself

[sugaggukkie]

i love to come here once every 10 years and post something no one cares about and then disappearing again BUT. this year ive allowed myself to read a total of three (3) WIPs and all three (3) of them are currently suspended indefinitely hfkfhfkehdkehfkrhkfkdk

#not a single one is for the same fandom or pairing #so what gives #how did I manage to get invested in three different WIPs that all petered out in the second half of 2023 #killing myself killing myself killing myself killing myself #part of me thinks it should be illegal to post WIPs #either finish your shit or don’t post it #but that’s uncharitable and unkind to fic authors who do unpaid labor and deserve to have people cheering them on #but also I hate it

[savageday6]

.

#word vomit alert!!!!! #i love solo trips out bc i get to do whatever i like without having to make conversation with people but omg....... #this trip has evoked alarming levels of loneliness and melancholy for some reason #maybe it's got something to do with just seeing Too Many People at once... and seeing people live their lives and enjoy company #n then i see myself n while i see an independent carefree person who's at peace with herself there's also a tinge! of! melancholy n pining.. #for companionship... for easy conversations... for connections! #i was also listening to Fourever while roaming around aimlessly and when Happy started playing i immediately teared up #i think i just have too many things on my mind djskfksmmdskkd i need to get back to journaling n meditating. too much anxious energy #also during dinner i sat next to a couple who seemed to be on their first date post dating app conversation. n it reminded me of my prev rs #dkfkfnmsfndnmdm i wouldn't call it ptsd bc they were good memories but personally i would most likely never use a dating app ever again..... #it's just too much pain having to talk through icebreakers n get to know each other with the topic of Dating already looming in the bg #n it's just a lot of Work for a first date you know??? anyway i'm tired of relationships. i would love organic platonic companionship tho #like i would love more friends. just not a Partner shdkfjdndndmd #but with that said !!!! it's sometimes lonely being single. but the thing is. there's no company that i'd prefer more than my own #i bring too much joy and peace to myself that i feel like it's almost impossible for anyone to meet those standards #it's very much like that tiktok where op said her app guy asked her who his competition was and she answered: Myself. your competition is me #and that was just the truest thing i've seen #also met an unkind worker at dinner. wasn't directed at me but the energy he gave off was just so Bad that it ruined my evening KDKDJSKDK #like . how can someone be so miserable n unkind n mean to the people around him??? as if they aren't deserving of respect... it boggles me #n so todays trip has been so . strange. i felt sad! witnessed unkindness! i felt a little lonely! #i unknowingly self-reflected a lot n probably spiralled into a rumination cycle! thought abt work n how it seemed like there was No Way Out #but !! it is what it is!!!

[malwarewolf404]

I had dieting fads and lately I got to thinking I should try limiting my portions to around the size of two baseballs (because I heard somewhere that’s generally how big a meal should be???) and while I want to say its been making me more mindful of how much I usually eat, I’m just hungry. I’m so hungry. And now Idk if I can eat a meal without feeling like a fatass.

#I normally have absolutely zero tolerance for hungry #but lately I’ve been sort of letting myself sit with the feeling before I actually cook and eat #which is like why why do I do that to myself? #who made me this guilty about eating? #when did it get so out of hand? #why did I gain almost thirty pounds this winter? #why am I suddenly being so hard on myself about food? #I feel good that I’m taking into consideration how much I eat but I feel like I’ve never been this unkind to myself before

[matchinacrocus]

Accept the grace and kindness for yourself that you are so happy to grant to others.

#I wrote this moments ago in a tag on my sideblog #it’s a bad brain day today and I convinced myself I wasn’t worthy of others’ patience even though they are people who love me deeply #I would not hesitate to grant them my patience and love and grace and kindness #it is a pleasure to comfort others and offer them absolution when you don’t even think they need it #why would I do others the unkindness of rejecting the kindness that brings them such pleasure to give me? #patience with yourself beloveds #that’s what the people who love you wish for you

[poetryforplebs]

spanish class

when i was sixteen my brother and i took a spanish class

it was at the local community college. he joined in because i was there, or maybe i joined the class because he was, but the fact of the matter stood was that we were together.

we sat next to each other sometimes, mostly next to two sisters — one in her twenties, one in her thirties we would work together, and understood each other as families often do.

(meaning that— our souls are attached by tin can telephone strings. we can’t cut them without losing the sound of our own voice)

the class was fun.

my brother was smart. i had only to turn to him, ask him a question, and he would explain it to me i tried not to ask him too many questions. i was already his kid sister. i had to be smart, had to keep up with him. i had to earn my place.

(do little sisters ever earn their place?)

at the end of the semester, the class was split into two groups: girls versus boys, boys versus girls. we had to do a pop oral quiz and it came down to the two of us

i can’t remember the question, only that it was asked and there was silence, expectation. his brow furrowed. i waited.

time passed slowly.

light entered his eyes now was the chance to throw in the towel but not make it easy

i had to time this perfectly but my tongue was too quick

i opened my mouth—

[applause]

he turned to me, after class walking back to the car

“that wasn’t fair,” he told me

“it wasn’t,” i agreed readily

“you didn’t really win”

“i didn’t”

he wanted to go on, but he couldn’t not when i agreed with him so he kept his words to himself, the injustice of losing an unfair fight

i had done what i was supposed to. he wanted to win, but win well. i couldn’t throw in the towel, pretend to be stupid. i couldn’t let him win that way. i had to actually try and then he could win, because he was smart and he deserved it. i had things going for me; all pretty girls do. boys need the help.

i won by accident, and unfairly, and agreed with him when that was the case. i shouldn’t have won.

but i wonder too, if my younger sister had won if i would have turned around and told her that she didn’t deserve it.

i like to think that i would just accept it but then again, i would probably throw in the towel for her because she’s my little sister.

now i pause in my past. maybe that’s what he did. did he throw in the towel for me, many times? how many times? maybe this time he actually tried not to. maybe that’s what was upsetting: that the whole world would become just as small as our childhood home.

we never took a class together again.

#Stell #after writing this poem I realized some ugly truths about myself #that aren’t aligned with how I framed this #I did want to win. Why else would I try to? #why couldn’t I let him have it #and I have completed against my sister #when have I ever let her win? when have I ever not corrected her pronunciation? #now that we’re older i do it when she asks #and edit her letters to take out the misspellings #but as a child? I was unkind #so yeah this poem helped me realize that I wasn’t as passive as I thought I was #passive aggressive maybe #And I can see why my siblings were often angry #maybe I’ll write another poem like this that has more of the taste of truth to it #but I’ve wanted to write this for a while now and it is done #though it may not be true now it was what I wanted to say

[kendallroylesbian]

im realizing i do a lot of self sabotaging, more than i realize. and that i keep myself from being happy. and idk why i feel like i dont deserve happiness or love like anyone else.

#thank u therapy! but also this has taken a really big toll on me lately #i see it in everything i do....and im like why do i treat myself this way? #why am i so unkind to myself? i care about others but how can i care for them long term #if i cant take care of myself? #ive focused so much on others and ive neglected myself bc someone/something told me i didnt matter. #its so much easier to focus on others instead of Me. u know? #txt 44

[the-peoples-pariah]

Nature isn't a mother at all. She's a teenage girl.

#she is my little sister actually #she used to bring me trinkets she'd made. but we were unkind #and she hides them away #i'm just a lesbian girlblogger #christianity #quakerism #nature #girlblogger #how can i be so cruel to myself when im doing the best i can #am

[boysnberriespie]

Managed to stave off tears all through class but got home and immediately started crying

#I feel so dumb because I Prepared myself for this #I had the feeling it was gonna happen #and so I allowed myself to limit my enthusiasm so it would hurt less #and it Does hurt less than if I had been surprised #but the way they specifically did it makes me so fucking upset #like I am not anti character death #I am not even anti my favorite character dying #but this just feels so bad and not thought out #and at the same time part of me feels like I’m being ridiculous for being so sad over this #even though I know so many other people feel the same way #I just feel ridiculous having gotten attached to a character who just had to die because ‘it’s a pirate show’ but also he’s gonna apologize #for ‘provoking’ Ed into abusing him #also to anyone who’s like #‘it’s still a queer show! you don’t need to stop supporting because of one bad episode’ #one) it’s still just a TV show and I can do whatever I want #and 2) the missteps here on a thematic level are clear to me #and I don’t know what to say that others aren’t #already saying but this felt deeply cheap and unkind

[crymeariveronceagain]

funny as hell that u took 2.5 months to read 1984 and couldn't realize it was anti totalitarian, not anti socialist. Orwell was a staunch socialist until the end. give the book a closer read next time

you are so mad over something so small, beloved. i hope you're feeling okay. have a good day.

#look me in my anti-consumerist eyes and tell me that socialism never results in totalitarianism #is what i would say if i was unkind to mean anons <3 #also i read this book LAST WINTER???? and made a COUPLE POSTS ABOUT IT??? like??? i thought it was a great book there's a reason it's a #classic #forgive me for not doing a background check on orwell #at least i corrected myself when i learned #we live in a society #people can write what they want and it literally has nothing to do with you???? thank you for getting pissed i'm sorry you can't handle me #maybe find a different literature blog??? highkey??? #if you can't take one incorrect thought that was in fact not entirely incorrect #because socialism leads to communism leads to totalitarianism #but yknow just go touch grass <3 #thanks for the ask!

[bunnygirlskull]

I want to show others more kindness

And i wanna show myself that same type of kindness

#i dont think im unkind but i think i could dp better #if youre reading the tags congrats you get to read a concept #i wish i could hold my body tenderly and wrap my arms around my ribcage and soothe all the aches in my body #i want to show myself a tenderness i havent given and i want to give #i want to wash away everything and place my body mind and soul on the cleanest and softest bed and have peace #and i want to do the same to others too #thank you of you read this and i hope you can feel a tenderness from me to you

[theworldiswhispering]

Bravery really does factor into kindness much more that it gets credit for

#like. and only possible through Christ first of all so jot that down #but a lot of unkindness doesnt boil down to this nebulous 'being mean'. it can! #but a lot of it is subtler than that. a lot of unkindness comes from fear and jealousy and bowing down to being intimidated by other people. #and like you should listen to your fears regarding other people but i think so many times they are based on things that are not #actual danger. this has been said before but i will say it again. examining why you feel the way you do about other people is SO important. #dont be stupid but dont let fear be the thing that makes you unkind. and not taking crap from other people is the flipside of this i think #because if you do then you will create a habit of needing to pull away from other people out of fear me @ myself #set firm boundaries that allow you to love other people well and all that #anyways i had coffee this morning

[theloveinc]

As someone with a visually weak lazy eye, I'm really grateful for your takes. Listen, the glasses I need to help my vision are too expensive for me right and I have other expenses I have to prioritize, and, yes, sometimes I'm going to skip some chunks if I can not engage with them/don't feel interested/I think they're not as important to the plot in order to actually put some energy in the rest of the reading, and I don't think that makes me a "bad reader" or that "I just don't know how to read", specially when reading, to me, is painful and tiring, but still something I enjoy.

I don't do it always, but anyways, I feel some type of way seeing people commenting such things.

"feel some type of way"....... u are too polite lmfao

#in the tags again bc i can express myself better here and it's safe and warm and lovely #im sure there are actual bad readers and such #but LOL this jump ppl have made from skimming to AUTOMATICALLY bad reader......... GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD makes me mad #to people's credit... i do get the gist of the frustration... #but lumping genuine ppl like u in with actually disrespectful ones ........ i really have a hard time providing any sympathy #or even respect ... to those takes bc... ARE U DUMB?????? #and ofc i think most ppl would say ur circumstances are fair but... not extending that energy publicly.... is depressing #like.. ppl should at least specify who they talking about OR admit they want praise from EVERYONE to the extent they're #willing to be unkind to get it #the idea that this is black and white. 'either u read it wholly or u aren't interested and are BAD'...... is so toxic and evil #and im sorry you're ending up the collateral damage anon #i wish ppl would listen when issues like this are brought up #like being welcoming and kind can do so much for u #even if u do feel certain ways abt things. no one that really matters is saying this frustration is bad... just weirdos on tik tok #which is why we actually do need the leniency and kindness here #another opinion of mine actually: authors do owe the community a kind persona #but that's not this conversation #tho i think it applies in this case #at least to the specification point bc u don't deserve to feel like they're talking abt u #and i'm sorry ur going thru it but i'm glad we agree #let me know if i can support you further #i love and support u and u are NOT a bad reader #caitie answers #anon

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

my mom gets soooooooooooooooo fucking offended when I ask my brother to do any 'chore' or simply bring me something and then he'd be literally next to me and she would ask ME to bring his food to him. when I'm not eating too like what the fuck ?? sorry but I'm not your personal maid fuck right off and also kill yourself.

#if i brought this up she'd go insane and yell and scream at me for idfk. being a bitch? being stubborn and sooo toxic and mean and unkind #and 'why cant you just listen to me!!' #btw she doesnt let me ask her to do stuff for me... at all and #once she kept screaming at me about how much she hates making food for me specifically and how in reality i should be doing everything for #myself and #she never once said anything like that to my grown ass brother . man