#and we can keep being friends with them

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[heybiji]

#dnd art #dnd character #ocs #dungeons and dragons #drow #elf #dandelion treehollow #status: currently fatally cursed #and worried about how his friends will fare without him #he's the face! he's good with words! he can look like anyone with his magic and can get them out of trouble! #also he's willing to do shadier stuff to do it! #if he dies will they be okay?? HOW WILL HE KNOW??? #(i think he'll be alright but who knows) #his arm is ROTTING!!! #time to summon his evil book back that he's pretty sure has a connection his evil mom but you know what #desperate times #as far as he's concerned his mom wouldn't let him die... right? #also lowkey stressed about this fatal curse being broken but uhhhh.... maybe a different curse he has also being broken which.... uuuhhhhh. #UUUHHHHHHH.... #anyway we play this weekend i'll keep yall posted #pray for dandelion #ravelers #PRAY FOR DANDELION!!! #also what a humiliating way to die. punched by a mummy. #actually with his mommy problems this new mummy problem is kinda funny i take it back

[thronealigned]

no it's fine this mind flayer is totally my friend and 100% honest with me all the time it's ok it likes me everything's so normal

#bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #i love how raphael directly calls you out on this. 'if id have known you were so gullible i wouldve tricked you into selling your soul for #a bowl of beans when we first met' #and then just keeps insulting you more if you keep insisting emp's really your ally #oc: impulse #sure this'll go in their tag #everything about impulse's Thing with the emperor is so funny to me. and then deeply fucked up if you think about it long enough. and then #really funny again if you think about it even longer #one day i'll do their 2.0 playthrough so i can fully form all my thoughts. and get better screenshots and the ceremorphosis ending #i mean there's nothing stopping me from loading an impulse 1.0 save and going ceremorphosis from there but idk it'd feel wrong #impulse has more tadpoles in their brain than synapses by act 3 and it does really fundamentally change them as a person #tfw your chaotic neutral act-first-ask-questions-never no-impulse-control 17 CHA bestie becomes one of the most detached calculating people #you've ever met. all their old casual wit and humor is still there but they think before they speak now and that really shouldnt feel as #sinister as it does. they have this look in their eye and it feels like they view everyone around them as lesser beings #not because they view other people as subhuman or worse than they are but because they view themself as something *more* #if they have any raw unfiltered emotion left you haven't seen it in weeks. there's one person(?) who gets Unrestrained Feelings privileges #and it's the fucking illithid that lives in their mind and not any of their actual non-monster normal-ish-person friends. that human #connection is fading so fast now. when did they change so much? it happened so slowly in the moment but suddenly now they seem like they #were never the person you became friends with at all #and like impulse is a pretty selfish person from the start but they *did* genuinely like and care about the rest of the party. they were #friends. and by the end of act 3 that friendship should be the deepest and most meaningful it's ever been. but. it just isn't. #so on and so forth etc etc like that. All That Bullshit makes their relationship with lae'zel so interesting (and upsetting) too #they encourage her to side against vlaakith and then they never even try to free orpheus for her and her people's sake. they never even #think about it. they never consider it as an option. they just don't care. and then they EAT HIS BRAIN. #very possibly RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. #and she's just left adrift. a rebel with no rebellion to lead and very little hope #i'm unwell. #ok i'm done this is a silly meme post. but god i have so many thoughts i have barely been keeping contained

[starry-bi-sky]

okay so i was thinking of a joke earlier about how in DPDC Amity Park's slogan "a great place to live" is not only city propaganda but also the city lording it over the rest of America for being normal. But then I remembered that, despite how many DCU Cities with heroes in it there are, the amount of cities in America without heroes still far outnumber the amount of cities in America WITH heroes.

So I did a little digging so the joke would still land. Something most heroes have in common is that they operate in major cities. What makes a major city? I found that the general consensus is that the population is roughly over or around a million. THEN I looked up the populations of cities in the DCU that I thought of off the top of my head. So Gotham, Metropolis, Starling City, Central City, Jump City. All of them ranked up to millions in population (most of them were in the tens of millions).

Amity Park's wikipedia describes it as being similar to specifically Philadelphia, Chicago, and San Francisco.

Philadelphia's Population: 1.576 million as of 2021 Chicago's Population: 2.697 million as of 2021 San Francisco: 815,201 as of 2021

Whiiich means that Amity Park if we take that from canon, is probably a major city. There are approximately 19,000 cities in America with probably less than a hundred that are major cities. Adding the DCU major cities wouldn't skew the data too much.

Which MEANS that I can make the joke that Amity Park's "great place to live" is not only just typical city propaganda, but also its Amity Park lording it over the other major cities for being one of the only major cities that doesn't have problems bad enough to warrant a superhero or a vigilante. Cue stage left the Fentons and Phantom :)

Amity Parkers were probably SO proud that they didn't need a superhero. They didn't have to worry about things like 'world ending threats' and 'super-powered individuals' and 'staggering property damage'. And then enter Fentons.

It also could be used as an excuse for why nobody took notice to Amity Park getting ghosts if folks like me aren't huge fans of the notion of a media blackout via Tucker, Technus, or the US Government. Or if you want to keep Amity Park as its urban city self. Amity Park's news on ghosts gets drowned out in a week because there's news on more popular, well-known cities going on every other day. The shit going on in Amity Park is every other major city's regular Tuesday and it gets filtered as such.

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dpdc #plus amity suddenly going 'we have ghosts' could be seen as a case of city-wide FOMO finally hitting so nobody believes them #and thats if the belief of ghosts not being real is as strong as it is in dp canon #the media blackout could also be /city-induced/ too #where amity parkers are so proud of being 'normal' and 'not having superheros' that many of them try and deny the existence of Phantom #and the mayor and news sources themselves just. stubbornly refuse to let news of ghosts get out to the other cities #do you know how much shit they'll get?? they'll be a laughingstock! #gothamites would never leave them alone. neither would central city or the metropolitans or starling city or-- #the other big cities will make fun of them :( #my new favorite hc that stemmed from this is that every major city in the dcu is rivaling with each other #there's a lot you can experiment with this idea imo lmao #this whole post sums up my writing and thinking process pr well tbh #this stemmed because im making a childhood friends au short story doc and wanted to avoid the typical tropes about how AP went undetected #from the rest of the US. bc. im not a fan of the media blackout idea via tucker/technus/gov and i wanted to keep AP an urban city #so i had to come up with something else #hence me looking into DCU cities and how many there are and realizing that there is a decent amount of other cities other than the main #popular ones and being DELIGHTED because then i could use that as an excuse for why amity went overlooked. bc there are many cities with #heroes in it. so its not surprising if another city gets a hero TOO. plus the news also focusing on more popular heroes and cities so again #the news of amity getting a hero gets drowned out by whatever new thing the JL or someone from the JL did that week

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

#I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING RN in the context of this alternate universe these posts live in. that makes me evil rn. I may not even keep #the post up. but I Needed to complain about these bc I hate seeing them #really funny and good because it very much feeds into that part of the brain where you go wait am I stupid? am I horrible? am I annoying? #before you express any kind of personal feelings. from feeling insecure alll the way down the spectrum to feeling like your life is over #before anyone How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor-s at me YES there is a nuanced version of this #which is. you can make someone feel like shit (A Fellow Sufferer Of The Mental Eelnesses) by using them as your dumping ground #in excess and usually with no regard for how they feel and without Regular conversations inbetween #and in a one-sided way where they can't do the same and complain with you as a sounding board in return #don't tell new friends you hardly know abt THE MOST personal shit you can possibly think of. there are steps being skipped here #right? we know this. we all know it. setting a boundary is a thing. overwhelming a person is a thing #on the other hand there is such a thing as a friend who IS okay to listen and wants to help. and friends who relate. #maybe talking abt personal stuff makes ppl feel closer sometimes. just a thought! maybe not everything is Emotional Labor. maybe just maybe #but like come on. these are almost intentionally unhelpful posts #long post

[quietwingsinthesky]

i really do think the desire to paint ten as unambiguously The Worst™️ when it comes to his relationship with martha is out of this desire to uncomplicate their relationship. to decouple them as friends and people who profoundly impacted each other’s lives. it’s just an easier narrative to swallow: that ten was Awful to her and then martha kicked him to the curb when she realized she was too good for him. easier, maybe, then dealing with the troubles of unrequited affection don’t have to be anyone’s fault, or that ten shut martha out in a lot of ways but let her in in others that he wouldn’t let any other companion near, or that they were still friends, they still wanted to see each other and be around each other, even though it was messy and sometimes hurt. you know?

#sometimes the doctor is shitty. this is not news we know this. this is part of the package. its what makes their relationships with their #companions so interesting so important. #like. how do i put this. i see posts sometimes about how ten was ‘leading martha on’ implying that he was taking advantage of her feelings #to keep her around. and. okay. so. putting aside how that’s a weird thing to say about anyone period. #its also just. from my viewing experience. not true? #the doctor is just sort of Like That. he’s too intense he’s too quick to grasp for emotional intimacy he’s too messy. #but he’s not leading her on. he really is just Like That. #like i feel by getting caught up in the fact that martha is hurt by being compared to rose and is hurt by the fact that the doctor can’t or #won’t return her feelings. and like. yeah. of course that hurts. #but in being caught up in that. i think what im saying is that it feels like people sometimes forget that he’s. not required to do that. #like just because she has feelings for him doesn’t mean he needs to get over himself and return them or else he’s using her. that’s. that’s #not how relationships work. people can have romantic feelings and still be friends and not have anything come of it and that’s not a #terrible outcome. thats just how friendships are sometimes. #thats the core of it to me. they’re friends. the way people post about ten & martha sometimes i wonder if everyone’s forgotten that they #are friends. that they last parted as friends. that martha doesn’t hate him or secretely resent him for how he treated her. #like. she’s got complicated feelings about the whole thing. but they didn’t stop being friends. #i tell you what: if the doctor was in trouble and called for help. you could be damn certain that martha jones would be one of the first #people to answer. that’s what i know. #doctor who #the doctor #tenth doctor #martha jones

[socksandbuttons]

looking and staring at the fact bloodmoons jealous of lunar being brought back but not him but also disregarding the entirety LUNAR was the one to promise him a body.

#Monty may have made it but they were hesitant of it #like legit Lunar was like 'YEAH MONTY WILL GET U THESE!' monty being roped into this unwillingly 'yeah... yeah okay buddy' #monty favors lunar a lot thats his best friend and WOULD spoil him so like #interesting this current bloodmoons more mad at lunar for being so favored and brought back #literally mad at him cause lunar was a replacement. despite never feeling that before until AFTER resurection #(for both mind you) #i bet ruin sure reminded them of how much he was discarded by Eclipse and everyone else but NOT ruin :)) #(lunar i feel wouldnt have if not for the everyone LITERALLY NEVER BRINGING IT UP AGAIN GDI) #but ooooh we gonna get some brotherly bonding over death and eclipse and replacements #ah yessss i can feel it #if the show will ever give me this #knowing them theyll want to keep them seperated esp after bloodmoon attacked lunar #now its a monty thing #and it wouldnt be a bad thing but also Monty legit didnt like the guyv bnjsk #lunar at least has some idea WHO bloodmoon really is what eclipse did and #AUGHHHH #THEYLL NEVER GIVE ME THIS ITS NOT THE CURRENT TOPIC ON THE SHOW I KNOW #a girl can hope cause of the new lore drop and implications #sun and moon show #sun and moon show spoilers #I GUES #man much rambling in the tags its so easy to ramble here

[alumirp]

White Blood, Red Teeth

a story where Luffy is constantly found by his friends having overdoses. It's a terrible behavior that started after Ace's death and everyone thinks it's a horrible coping method and finally gets together to admit him to a rehabilitation clinic. It's against his will, of course, so he resists and has withdrawal attacks and it's so bad that he goes on a hunger strike and loses a huge amount of weight and subsequently ends up with deteriorating health. A year and a half later, finally, after all this, the clinic considers him rehabilitated, although he is still underweight and doesn't eat as much as he should, but everyone is sure that Luffy will never look for drugs again. They are wrong and less than forty-eight hours after being released from the clinic, Zoro and Sanji find Luffy having another overdose in the bathroom of the apartment the three share. This time, the two decide to take a more aggressive approach and go after Luffy's drug dealer. Luffy is always talking about the guy, whom he calls Torao, who supposedly helped him cope with Ace's death. Whenever asked what he's on, Luffy responds "Torao's white blood", which Zoro and Sanji assume is the name of some homemade drug or something. Whatever it is, this Torao guy, is clearly taking advantage of Luffy's grief. to make a profit, so they stop at the drug dealer's address, almost knocking down the door, ready to give this guy 'Torao' a good beating and deliver him directly into the hands of Luffy's grandfather, a half-crazy police officer. They are surprised when the person who answers the door is a guy who goes by the name Penguin, who, strangely enough, lets them in easily after discovering that they are Luffy's friends. The house is nice, clean, airy, comfortable and cozy, everything you don't expect from a drug dealer's house. The place looks practically sterile in a hospital kind of way, which makes sense when they are finally introduced to the infamous Torao, a tall, malnourished guy who walks around on an IV. They confront 'Torao', who introduces himself as actually being Trafalgar Law, about the drugs he has been giving Luffy and the effects it has on their friend and, strangely, are surprised when: Law says he has never given drugs a Luffy and b: Law is surprised and then irritated when he is told about the "Toraos white blood" thing. Law then sighs and surprisingly takes off his shirt and displays his torso, covered in deep, fresh-looking bites, and proceeds to explain the craziest story of all time: Vampires are real and Luffy was turned into one the day Ace died. Law found him, injured and starving, and saved his life. He then explains that he is sick, his blood was infected from a young age with amber lead and he was living on borrowed time, so he had no qualms about feeding Luffy his blood. But they were both taken by surprise by the fact that, every time Luffy fed on him, his condition unexpectedly improved. But Law had no idea that his blood caused Luffy to overdose. He knew that there seemed to be a factor that made him somewhat dependent and Luffy was always lethargic in the first few minutes after feeding, but he never thought that his blood was acting as a drug for Luffy's undead organism. That's why in the year and a half that Luffy simply disappeared, Law, and his friends, simply thought that the vampire had gotten tired of helping Law and had left. They had been surprised when, last night, Luffy appeared out of nowhere on their doorstep and promptly attacked Law, feeding on him until Law was barely able to stay awake. Furthermore, in the time that Luffy was gone, Law's condition simply deteriorated terribly and he was practically convinced that he wouldn't make it until the end of the year. And now, they have to find a way to balance Luffy's feeding so that Law can survive, but in such a way that Luffy doesn't suffer side effects either. Everything becomes a mess when Robin, a mysterious friend of Zoro, gets involved, announcing that in fact, Law has been cursed by a witch.

#Luffy: It's gay if I constantly overdose on my friend's toxic blood to keep him alive #Law: It's gay if I let a guy constantly feed on me to the point where I pass out #zosan: yes it is #they both: nah #This is one of those ideas we have to give context to that one cool scene we imagine at three in the morning #the cool scene would be a dramatic confrontation between law and luffy #law's angsty ass being angsty about luffy being gone for a year and a half and abandoning him #and luffy's worried ass blaming himself because law was dying while he was stuck in some stupid clinic #law: it's gay if I care more about my pet vampire leaving me behind than about my life #Luffy: It's gay if I care more about the life of my pet human than about my physical and mental well-being #This seemed like it could be fun at first but think of all the angst we can shove in here #one piece lulaw #lawlu #lulaw #one piece #background zosan #supernatural au #vampire au #codependency #i mean look at them #trafalgar 'i dont care if i die as long youre with me' law #and monkey d 'i dont care if im killing myself as long you can survive' luffy #We can apply some murder mystery to the background #trying to find Ace's killer and how the whole incident of his death led to Luffy turning into a vampire #and then complicating the plot with law's curse #how why when and who cursed him #and spinkle some gay all over the top #hmmmm good smell frrrraavor #robin in the background being mysterious as fuck

[fakeoutbf]

five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety

#walk with me #this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere #the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad #count on the person** #i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them #in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other #it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time #idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too #so we’ve been more properly friends lately #and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to #gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it #and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention #(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention) #anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all #weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone #so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever #and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more #and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted #they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture #and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek #i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on #bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other #flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc #i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed #but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers #and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious?????? #your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up??? #if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right??? #so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend #delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something

[bigothteddies]

one of my dreams as a bright-eyed freshie noob nsfw tumblr user was to one day have my own place with tons of extra rooms and to have partners and kink friends rotating in an out of the house like all the old big kink creators used to on here, making content and gif sets with my friends and enjoying our sexuality together

#unimportant thoughts #doable still? maybe one day #I don’t know ! #used to dream about it a lot #there used to be a big (since cancelled) creator that did a lot of stuff like that #creators would come and stay in his house for month(s) long vacations in between jobs and school #like could you imagine? #going and living with a creator you love for a summer? #getting to make content together snd have fun with no stress or pressure? #I don’t know maybe im alone in this! #BUT #I don’t know itd be nice! #i love the idea of being a Home #maybe not peoples permanent home #i csnt imagine being a lot of peoples healthy long time permanent partner lol #but yk its enough to be Somebody in peoples lives yk? #im happy to be someone who was right for you for a little while #be it a few months or a summer or a year or a few years #im happy with that #i want to end it on a high note and keep going as friends after #i want to still have occasional flings and catch up on each orhers lives all the time #i dont think i can be everyones forever #and itd be greedy to think i could be ! #but i want to be someone people look back on fondly #that people say ‘he was a good influence in my life. i’m happy I was with him. he was the right person for me in a lot of ways’ #i want to be someone people are proud of havin been involved with #i want those tumblr gifsets and relationship maps and talking about how x is moving out to go to grad school soon but we still love each #other and im proud of them for moving to the next stage in life #i want to be a revolving door thats always open! #but it only works if other people want it too! and if those people DO actually value me like tjat

[sqlmn]

Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.

Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)

Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.

Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.

#the daily life of a deity sucks #and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now #i also would have accepted the punishment for this #and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before #so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him #and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy #who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time #also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of #dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off #and he never tells them to piss off #also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it #and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love #and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone #and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion #and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair #and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles #and tells him he looks good with longer hair #so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again #but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt) #also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar #its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks #and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall #theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks? #like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit' #the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true) #and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic' #and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't? #you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong? #and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way' #in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way. #and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally. #I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do. #.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!! #now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

[mazzy-rockstar]

Monday blues are hitting me hard today

#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings #but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl #and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back #which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like #i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt #so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me #1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool) #my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and #it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics #even in pics where i was present at the time #and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts #i just want to be important to someone #i want to be someone’s person #not a last resort like #they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left #but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’ #not even a fucking heart on insta stories #am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends #like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup??? #I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one #idk i must exude some sort of energy #i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years #(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders) #anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day #ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life #it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets #i feel like hired entertainment sometimes #idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right? #i have to stop

[ante--meridiem]

Well. Potentially inadvisable message I sent a few days ago not really expecting a reply to did, in fact, get a reply.

#personal #for those with enough knowledge of blog lore to know what I'm talking about here: #I caved and messaged First Ex/Former Closest Friend again #out of a mixture of the fact that I keep circling back to that friendship breakup on an approximately monthly basis that I knew #I'd never be able to really let it go unless I at least tried once #and the confidence from my knowledge of him that if our positions were reversed *he* would have tried #in any case. He's not sure if we'll succeed in being friends again but he *is* willing to talk #on the condition (which I offered in my initial message) of me not telling any of the people we mutually know #that he ended up having issues with #that we are speaking with #& there is (unsurprisingly since there was clearly a lot missing from the stories I'd gotten) more to said issues than I'd heard about #which it sounds like he's going to elaborate on when we talk #I think the biggest difficulty for me in re-establishing contact like this is going to be accepting that he and my mother #outright despise each other now #which. l mean - I'd never claim she's perfect #she can be very blunt in a way that comes off as just *mean* and hurtful and I've been hurt by that too #but she's also been a much better parent to me than most people's parents seem to be to them #it's possible maybe even likely that if some of our arguments when I was younger had ended in us cutting ties rather than #eventually talking it through that I would see her the same way Former Closest Friend does #but they didn't and she's been at certain points amazingly supportive since #so it's likely I'm going to have a hard time reconciling the version of her he's going to present to me with that #even though I'm totally open to believing that he's justified in how he feels about whatever happened #& I'm not going to be able to process it out loud irl bc that would violate the 'not telling people involved about this' clause #so there may be a lot of venty personal tumblr posts coming soon to a blog near you

[noahtally-famous]

made a 16-slide presentation for gabriel jha, i spent three days back to back on this (and planning out the fic that takes place before, during, and after tdpi that's centric around his and dave's brotherly bond, alenoah, noah and dave's friendship, and alejandro and carlos's brotherly bond)

(the slideshow reads like a character wiki page 💀)

no going back now. while i finalize the slides (idek if i should post it here, it's a full-on oc form for a character only i care abt 😭 but it would be good background info), have some before/after racing accident that had dave auditioning for total drama picrews of gabriel! (so in other words, pre and post tdpi gabriel)

#im still debating whether his hair should be longer or styled up #bc like i can def see him growing it out long as a “fuck you” to his dad #but having it styled up and gelled is totally his sort of mojo #so depending on what i ultimately go for the 'before' pic may or may not change #gabriel the man that you are...you are not even a character in td yet i have sm planned for you #he and carlos are gonna be such a trip. debating on them staying as friends or a romantic pairing #bc like their lives mirror each other in many ways #both of them have younger brothers who td fucked over #both of them moved out of their houses upon being legal bc of toxic family influences #both of them feel like they should have tried harder to keep their siblings away from td #gabriel has a direct connection to that so hes gonna be feeling lots more guilt and regret #so they both can actually support each other bc they understand what the other goes through #ough i have sm planned for them omfg #and dave and gabriel's bond is gonna be so complex #which will get carlos and alejandro to realize there are a couple of things they need to discuss too #and noah's just in the middle with his bf and his family friend having their own individual crisis on either side of him #gabriel jha #never thought i'd be making a td oc but here we are. its not even an oc who goes to td or is on the island lmaoo that's the irony of it #kit's ocs #td oc #noahtally-famous #kit stuff #total drama

[possamble]

I think the most egregious case of "tagging a background f/f ship" is when the f/f ship is an established couple that spends most of their screentime trying to get the m/m or f/m ship together. They barely even flirt. Many such cases. :(

I know there are real problems I could get heated about but this one truly makes me want to book a rage room

#asks #yeah sure fine whatever use characters as an accessory or plot device #can you just keep it out of the actual tags for that relationship #we actually want to see them being romantic and important to each other instead of acting entirely for the benefit of another couple thanks #i hate to say this but in my experience ive seen it so much more often for m/m than anything else. maybe its just the fandoms ive been in #but some people think its uwu mlm wlw solidarity to use f/f pairings as accessories to their m/m pairings and its like #you can do that! i get why its cute and feel good to have characters be friends who care abt each others love lives! #but can you please understand that people who use the f/f pairing tag actually want to see them being in love themselves #and not have their entire plot relevance revolve around the dudes in their life. #youre misrepresenting the content of your fic if you tag a pairing as one of the main relationships when theyre only there to help another #pairing along #and believe it or not it gets really tiring to see. #and we can't even joke amongst ourselves about keeping the m/m exclusion filter on without getting accused of homophobia #or being 'weirdo fucking yuriheads' or whatever the trendiest insult lately is #anyway. whatever. this is all so stupid and petty im just gonna clock into work lmfao