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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

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the sun always sets behind you {Jim “Miami” Beach} (Platonic)

Summary: Miami’s daughter signs up to be Roger Taylor’s personal assistant, and Miami knows Roger too well to be comfortable with that. Though that’s not the band member he should be worried about. (Reader/Brian)

A/N: 1880 words. Whether reader is his daughter by blood or adoption, it’s never specified so go wild. hope you enjoy it. i can have a little bit of paternal wish fulfillment miami, as a treat. LITERALLY NO-ONE WANTED THIS BUT I SAW BORHAP AGAIN TODAY AND MIAMI DURING LIVE AID MAKES ME EMO

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“It’s nepotism,” he tells you flatly over breakfast, giving you and unimpressed look over his morning paper.

“That’s never stopped you before,” you counter, not even looking at him where you’re buttering your toast, “where was that concern when you convinced EMI to take me on as an intern last summer?”

“You were my assistant, dear, that’s different,” he sighs deeply, folding the paper and taking a sip of his lukewarm tea.

“Dad -” you try to insist, but he just frowns.

“Why the sudden interest now? Why can’t you wait until John Deacon’s the one asking for an assistant; he’s a reasonable fellow,” he implores, but you groan, stabbing your knife into the butter and letting your toast fall to the plate unceremoniously, settling in to give your father an unamused glare.

“Roger’s reasonable.”

“You met him once.”

“Glowing review of your clientele there, Jim,” it always manages to catch him off guard, whenever you use his first name, and he chokes a little on his tea. Carefully, he sets the cup down on it’s saucer and wipes at the corners of his lips.

“It would be different if they weren’t going on tour; I’d be happy for you to be Roger’s assistant if they were recording an album locally, but spending six months overseas -” he hesitates, “I think very highly of Roger, you know I do, dear, he’s incredibly talented and polite, but I can’t very well ignore my only daughter being in close proximity to him with the kind of reputation he has.” And he’s dreadfully earnest, which may have worked if you were younger, but you’re a fully grown adult.

“Come on, don’t you trust me?” You sighed, and Jim closes his eyes for a long moment.

“It’s not you I don’t trust -”

“Oh what a lie, if you trusted me, you’d be able to trust that I can either hold my ground and say no to Roger Taylor, or, you’d respect that what I do with another human being in private has nothing to do with you.” And he’s quiet for a long time, takes another sip of tea, and avoids your gaze.

“I’m your dad, sweetheart, it’s my job to worry,” is all he says in response, before conceding, “fine, alright; I suppose you are grown up.” With that he paused, his expression softening to something honest, “I do trust you, I really do.” He assures you, and with that, you let yourself breathe easier, and finally start on your breakfast.

It turns out, he submits a glowing report of your work ethic and skill to John Reid, who takes one look at your last name, realizes exactly who you are, and shrugs; you’ve got the job. Roger Taylor’s personal assistant, undergoing trial by fire as Queen’s next American tour looms ever closer.

“Miami’s always spoken so highly of you,” Freddie assures when you turn up on the first day. It’s the main thing everyone feels like they need to tell you; your reputation is built on your father’s seal of approval, and damn if it doesn’t precede you. The only person who doesn’t mention Jim is Paul Prenter, who gives you a thin-lipped smile and a diary for the year.

“This’ll be your bible; I’ll relay all the important dates for the whole band to you, and you just have to make sure Roger’s there on time. If he’s got an appearance, however, that’s just him, John Reid will relay it directly to you,” and you nod emphatically, following on his every word, “other than that; they say jump, we jump. All clear?”

“As crystal,” you assured with a grin, and Prenter clapped you on the shoulder.

“You’re not really what I was expecting,” Roger admits while the two of you are sharing the sofa in the studio, sitting side by side.

“Is that a bad thing? Should I be offended?” And though it comes out as a joke, you are a little tense all of a sudden, but Roger’s quickly backpedaling on his words.

“No, no I mean- when Miami described you, I just- I don’t know what I was imagining from his daughter but -” Roger’s quickly turning red, momentarily flustered, worried he’d upset you, “you’re a lot less boring that I was expecting.” Is what comes out. You can’t help but laugh. “Not that you’re dad’s boring, but he’s so adamant that you’re hard working -” he floundered, the words pittering out, until he just made a face and hoped you hadn’t been offended. Brian, sitting on his bass amp, laughs quietly at the exchange, and when you look to him, he just smiles back.

“I am hard working, for the record,” you turn back to Roger, quietly preening at what you’re pretty sure is most of a compliment, “but I do try hard to be not boring.”

“You’re dad is Miami Beach,” Roger added, and you snorted a laugh.

“God, you know he loves that nickname,” you grinned, turning to include Brian in the conversation, “that was Freddie, wasn’t it?”

“Of course it was,” Brian chuckles, moving closer to the sofa, “if you’re not too careful he’ll give you one too; you’re a Beach after all.”

“Bondi?” Roger suggested with a half smile, but Brian deliberated for a moment.

“Venice?”

“Actually Venice is rather nice,” Roger agrees, giving you an evaluative little smile, which Brian shares, and you’re not quite sure what’s happening, but you’re kind of enjoying it.

“Venice Beach?” Brian asks, and you grin a little.

“Me?” They both nod, agreeing that they think it suits. The band, just as your dad had described on countless occasions, is both weird and wonderful.

“They gave me a nickname,” you announced, getting home that night, and your father gave you a pleasant little smile, a silent invitation to elaborate, “Venice.”

“Venice Beach,” he mulls it over, thoughtfully, “seems they’ve already taken you in as one of their own.” He tells you with a smile, which you mirror, proud at the confirmation of Queen having already accepted you.

He’s always wanted what’s best for you, and ever since you’d expressed interest in his field of work, he’s always tried to be as accommodating as he could. You’d been able to meet his clients, even work as his intern and attend networking events. Your father was the lawyer for some of EMI’s biggest bands, and yet he was always your number one fan. A fact that everyone in the band knew far too well.

“Your dad...” Roger started with a strange little smile, walking into rehearsals one afternoon, a week out from the tour starting, “he knows your my assistant, right? Not my...” he turns faintly pink, “not my escort or girlfriend, right?”

“He’s fully aware,” you sigh deeply, “what did he say to you?”

“Just told me to take care of you, didn’t threaten me, but his tone... Venice, I’ve been given that speech by dads before.” After a beat, his eyes widen almost comically and he looks between yourself and Brian, who had come over and slung an arm around you. “You haven’t told him about the two of you, have you?” He practically crows, his laughter now echoing through the rehearsal studio as you grow antsy.

“I was planning on telling him...” you hesitate, “on tour.”

“She hasn’t been working for us long, and it’s just a bit tricky with him being her dad and all,” Brian explains, giving your shoulders a squeeze, which Roger’s laughter finally dies down, though he’s still beaming with amusement.

“Well you’ve got that weird little dad talk to look forward to,” he assured, and Brian quietly grimaced. Roger stepped forward, reaching out to pinch your cheek, “Venice, you know I love you dearly, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to mess around with Miami’s daughter.”

“Glad that’s the reason you’re staying away from her -” Brian rolls his eyes.

“And ‘cos she’s spoken for, obviously.” Roger amends, hands raised in mock surrender. You huff a sigh, crossing your arms. “Best assistant I’ve ever had, not gonna do anything to mess that up.” He tells you earnestly.

“I’m the only assistant you’ve ever had.”

“And you’re doing a stand-up job.” He assures, and heads to the drums while Brian looks like he’s trying to call on some divine force to keep him sane in that moment.

“We really should tell him, if he’s still worried about Rog,” Brian muses, and you nods, resigned. What you’re not expecting is how fast Brian intends to follow through on this.

When you get home that night, your dad is waiting for you.

“I got a call from Brian not too long ago,” he starts, sitting in his favourite armchair with his fingers steepled, and you swallow hard. You hadn’t even put down your bag.

“Already?”

A long silence; Jim’s eyes search your face, but you’re not sure what he finds.

“I’ve always thought he’s very sensible,” finally, he speaks, tone light, and you let out a breath you hadn’t know you’d been holding.

“Brian? Yes, I’m quite fond of him.”

“So I’ve heard,” but there’s amusement in his voice, though you still feel as though you’ve been caught red-handed, “I told him to treat you well, and with respect -”

“Dad, I’m an adult -”

“That’s all I said,” he assured you, and you finally put down your bag, stepping into the living room, “you are an adult; I’d support you no matter what -”

“Even with Roger?”

“If it’s what you wanted, yes, even with Roger, though that appears to no longer be an issue,” he says, finally starting to smile, letting the tension ease; “I don’t believe Brian would break your heart like I feared Rog would, if I’m being honest, dear.”

“I hope not,” you answer, voice soft and automatic, before you really think about his words, “Oh! That’s what you’re worried about? I thought you’d be worried about the paps giving the band a bad name.”

“Stuff the paps, I know as well as anyone that the media has no idea what they’re on about most of the time; look at Bohemian Rhapsody’s first reception,” he dismissed easily, “I just never want to see my little girl hurt is all. I still worry about you, you know.”

“I know... thanks, dad.” The silence that followed was a little awkward, neither quite sure where to go from here.

“So,” he starts after clearing his throat, “Brian?” You nod, small smile playing on your lips, “he sounds like he really cares about you.” Which has you all smiley at the implication, “he’s lucky to have a girl like you, dear.” Though he puts on his stern dad voice for just a moment, “be careful on tour, you hear me? It’s a lot of stress, I don’t want -”

“I’m a professional, dad,” you assured him with the faintest exasperated smile. He nods once.

“Okay,” and he sounds final, but quickly follows it with, “but if you want me over there, give Brian a talking to because he’s acting stupid, I’ll be on the first flight over.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise; I’m very capable.”

“I know you are, sweetheart,” and he’s beaming now, so unabashedly honest when he speaks, “I’m so proud of who you’ve become.”

#jim miami beach #Miami Beach #Brian May #brian may imagine #brian may x reader #roger taylor #freddie mercury #John Deacon #queen #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #queen imagine #borhap #borhap imagine #the angry lizard writes

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mirkwoodshewolf · 5 years

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Always family; John Deacon x teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hello all, I just wanted to share with you all ANOTHER Queen fic. Now this one here is pretty long so I’m sorry not sorry for the longness of this fic but it had to be done. Thought I’d dip my toe into the platonic Queen fics (besides my Rock Angel series) since requests will open up soon. I just want to catch up on all the requests that came to me over Winter break that the anons have been waiting so patiently on before I accept any new ones. So in this fic you the lovely reader are the cousin to this Disco man, but you both act more like brother-sister as you will soon see. Hope you all enjoy this little fic :)

Warnings: Family abandonment (IF THIS TRIGGERS ANYONE PLEASE DON’T STRAIN YOURSELF TO READ IT), angst, swearing, fluff, Paul prenter (Ugh) and the loveable and NASTY QUEENIES :) Enjoy my lovely darlings ;)

Taglist

@geek-and-proud

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*Nov. 1974, Live at the Rainbow*

It was another successful concert at the Rainbow theater. Queen had once again performed a killer performance, and Brian now finally feeling better after his hepatitis scare knew he was ready to get back on stage and he performed his heart out to make up for what he had to miss while in the hospital.

The three main lead vocalists Freddie, Brian and Roger were heading towards their dressing room when they noticed someone sitting outside the door of their dressing room. She appeared to be about 15 possibly 16, had long (h/c) with platinum blonde highlights. She wore a white crop top shirt, black leather jacket, denim blue jeans and high-heeled boots similar to what their bass player always wore.

They also took notice around her neck was a camera and she was also fiddling around with it, instantly knowing exactly how to operate it. Freddie turned to Roger and teased out.

“Look Roger darling, the girl you ordered finally came.” Roger hit Freddie’s shoulder and told him to fuck off while Brian walked up to the girl and asked.

“Excuse me?” She looked up from her camera and they also saw that she was blowing up a bubble from the gum that she had been chewing. She deflated the bubble as Brian said, “Can we help you?”

“Oh sorry I was just waiting for Deacy.” She responded before going back to her camera.

“You know John?” asked Roger.

“Do I know him? Of course I know him he—oh I get it. Typical Deacy, never likes to talk about me to his friends, thinks I’ll embarrass him or something.” She started off before trailing off into a teasing tone. The three Queen members were still confused to just who exactly this young girl was. She then gestured to herself as she continued, “I’m (Y/n) Deacon, Deacy’s cousin.” She then dug into her jean pocket and innocently held out a packet of gum as she said, “Gum?”

*My POV*

Hello people and beyond! The name’s (y/n) Deacon. I was born March 7th, 1959. And before you ask, yes I am related to John Richard Deacon bass player of Queen. He’s my older cousin but if you ask me he’s been more like a brother to me than my cousin.

In fact it was Deacy who got me interested in electrics, so much so that I’ve taken photography classes in school and then once I get into University I hope to major in photography. In fact the camera I always carry with me around my neck, Deacy actually got it for me three years ago on my 13th birthday.

I had heard about his little band from aunt Lillian and of course from my friends. Now that Queen is starting to gain that spotlight of fame, I took the first bus I could in order to check and see if my dear Deacy hadn’t forgotten about me.

I was now sitting on the couch in the guys’ dressing room, Freddie was sitting close to me and I spoke up.

“Okay see that’s where I draw the line with cats, I mean c’mon who would want a hairless cat? It’s like you just turned a cat inside out and said, ‘here’s your new baby’. Plus if you leave it in the winter it’ll turn into a cat-cicle. But if you leave it out in the summer heat then it’ll be a sunburnt naked mole rat.”

“Brian, Roger make note of this that we are keeping this girl because she gets cat logic.” Freddie claimed as he wrapped an arm around me bringing me close in a one armed hug. I smiled and blushed slightly hiding my head bashfully. We soon heard the door open and finally entering inside the dressing room was the Disco man himself.

“Deacy darling you’ve got some serious explaining to do.” Freddie proclaimed as if he were giving a proclamation. Wide-eyed and startled like a deer in headlights he looked between his bandmates and that’s when Brian spoke up.

“Like why you didn’t tell us about your cousin?” I then made myself known by waving to John and telling him hi. Finally taking notice of me, Deacy smiled and came over to me while I met him half way and the two of us hugged each other after not seeing him for a good couple of years now.

“What are you doing here?”

“What you didn’t think I’d miss the opportunity to miss my cousin performing on stage and finally get to see what all the fuss was about, now did yah?” I teased as I playfully shoved him.

“Did my mum drop you off?”

“Well actually I sorta begged her to get me a bus pass here to London.”

“You mean to tell me you came here all by yourself?” he demanded.

“Deaks I’m not a little girl anymore, I can take care of myself.” He sighed and said as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

“I know you can, you know I just worry about you. Old habits die hard you know?”

“Gosh Deacy, who would’ve thought you were so overprotective? And here I thought you were the docile one.” teased Roger.

“Piss off Roger.” Defended Deacy.

“So (y/n), I’m just looking at these photographs of the concert and they are really good. Did you always want to be a photographer?” Brian said trying to change the conversation.

“Thanks Brian. And to answer your question not always. But I got interested in it at around 10 maybe 11 years old. It just started off taking pictures of the family dog Buddy and some birds, a few family outings but then when I turned 13 that’s when my interest in photography began to rise. In fact Deacy gave me this exact camera and showed me how to work out all the technical stuff with it for my 13th birthday.”

“I must say these are impressive. I would’ve thought a professional would’ve taken these.” Stated Roger as he picked up a photo.

“Aww come on you guys…..”

“No we’re serious (y/n) dear, you’ve got a gift.” Freddie said.

“That’s what I’ve always been telling her.” Said Deacy with a warm smile as he playfully ruffled my hair. I smiled at them and thanked them.

For the rest of the night I got to know the rest of the members of Queen, not just as rock stars, but as my cousin’s best friends. Most people know them as these four handsome young men trying to become famous rockstars, but I got to know their true selves. Brian the smart astrophysicist interested in all things regarding the universe who made his dissertation about stardust.

Roger who is known to most as the ‘heartthrob, womanizing, air-headed and stubborn drummer’ when actually he’s an intelligent person who first started off with dentistry (to which both Deacy and Brian teased him about) but then changed his profession to biology. The first drummer to ever truly tune his drums before playing them.

And of course the front man Freddie Mercury. Most people think he’s always the extravagant person both on and off stage, when in reality he’s just a humble, loving human being who studied design, loves cats and has his insecurities just like everyone else.

I knew from that night that I was going to see these boys not just as my cousin’s friends, but also an extended family.

3 years passed and any chance I got I would visit the boys during holiday breaks or stay with Deacy during the summers. I even got the chance to go with them to Rockfield farm when they recorded “A Night at the Opera” because I was assigned a summer project for my photography class. And when EMI saw my pictures, they actually hired me an internship with them to be the band’s official photographer.

Now that I am done with high school, I’m just waiting for the autumn to start so that I can officially start my University career in photography. The boys have definitely given me good practice for my camera work, doing pictures both on stage and for behind the scenes whether through the tours or them in the studio recording.

They’re rowdy and silly but it’s awesome to see them work and I actually get to see the genius machine that is Queen on how they create their music.

We were currently in the studio and the boys were recording their newest song “We are the Champions”. I was getting the best pictures that I could that the record company was asking for me. Some of the pictures included them in the booth rehearsing, or Freddie along with the sound technician at the sound table messing with the buttons and track, getting it to fit his vision.

Since they were on a strict deadline to get the song recorded, it meant more hours in the studio, hours that not even I could last very long with. I yawned softly when I felt a tap at my shoulder. I looked up to see Deacy standing beside me.

“You ready to head home?” I yawned again and nodded tiredly. “Alright missy, let’s get you home and into bed.” I moaned tiredly and raised my arms out and said.

“Carry me.”

“Are both your legs broken?” he teased. I let out a tired whine.

“You’re mean Deacy.”

“C’mon you get up. I know you can do it.”

“Too tired to get up.” I groaned.

“Then allow me your royal majesty.” I heard Freddie say as I was then picked up princess style and I wrapped my arms around Freddie’s neck. “That better darling?”

“I love you Fred.” I stated bluntly.

“You’re going to spoil her too much Fred.” Deacy said.

“Oh come off it Deacy, she’s a darling and she’s been working so hard she deserves this.”

“Yeah Deacy, I deserve this. Why can’t you be more like Freddie?”

“Because I know when to set limits for you.” I stuck my tongue out at him and then I was carried out of the studio and placed into Deacy’s Volvo. Deacy followed suit and we all bid each other a goodnight and soon Deacy pulled out of the parking lot and drove us back home.

We both entered quietly so that we didn’t wake up either Veronica or baby Bobby. Deacy and I kissed each other goodnight and I went to my guest room and got out of my jeans, didn’t even bother to get out of my shirt and just plopped on my bed and went to sleep.

The next day was like any other day, the guys had just gotten done finishing the final touches to “We are the Champions” and we were all celebrating. Roger uncorked the bottle of wine and poured the guys a drink while I got some non-alcoholic cider, but I knew that Roger would let me sneak in a sip of wine when Deacy wasn’t looking. As we were all gathered around just sharing stories and what not, it was then Paul came in and said.

“Freddie, boys there’s someone here to see you.” Roger and I looked at each other and he muttered.

“Hopefully the police to take him away for being an utter annoyance.” I snickered softly which made Paul glare at me and that’s when he said.

“Come on in Mrs.” And soon walking into the studio was someone I thought I’d never see again. My body tensed up and my heart sunk, it felt like I had gotten punched in the gut and had all the air knocked out of me as a blast from the past came back and stood before this very room.

Her familiar (h/c) now shorter than I remembered but she still kept it the same style, her (e/c) looking right at me. She looked a bit more run down than from what I remembered, probably got involved in drugs since that’s the big thing nowadays.

“Hello (y/n).” She started off. I stood up and just glared at her. “God you’ve—you’ve grown up so fast.” She tried to lighten up the mood. Really? How dare she come back after all these years. In fact how did she find out where I was? I walked out of the room avoiding another glance at her and slammed the door loud behind me.

*John’s POV*

“So…..where are the groceries?” I demanded.

“John please—”

“No, no I really want to know. Because you’re finally here, but I see no groceries.” I stood up and continued as I walked up towards her, “I mean that’s what you said when you dropped her off with mum, your sister. But news flash Katherine. You’re 15 years too late!” I now stood face to face with her, hell I almost lost my composure and wanted to hit her so hard.

“Whoa, whoa Deacy take it easy! Take it easy!” Brian said pulling me away from her.

“Deacy darling you’ve never acted this way before, just who is this woman?”

“Unfortunately she’s my mum’s younger sister. My aunt……”

“(Y/n)’s mother.” She finished.

“No, no, no! You lost that right when you abandoned her that day!” I snapped.

“Deacy calm down, calm down.” Brian said as he placed his hand to my chest trying to get me to calm down, but at this point I knew nothing would.

“Why are you here? How did you even know she’d be here?” I demanded.

“I’ve known how close you both were when you were kids, so I figured that she’d be with you. And when I heard about where Queen does their rehearsals I thought I’d get clearance, thanks to Mr. Prenter, he allowed me to come and see her.”

Bloody hell of course Paul would play a part in this. He’s always hated (y/n) hanging around, talking about her like she was a distraction from the band. Of course (y/n) never took anything lying down.

Much like Roger, hell in fact all her life when she needed and wanted to, she could be a right up trickster. Her pranks were always over the top but brilliantly planned and well executed.

I would know because I was unfortunately a victim to some of those pranks, but then again I also helped form some of those pranks on say like heart-breaking, back-stabbing boyfriends, stab in the back best friends, you know those types of people.

I then left the booth and tried to find (y/n). I searched and searched but I couldn’t find her anywhere, that was until I heard sniffling from the janitor’s closet.

I pressed my ear against the door and I knew without a doubt that (y/n) was behind the door. I lightly knocked on it and she stopped crying and choked out.

“Please go away.” I knew words wouldn’t convince her to come out, so I did the next best thing that always seemed to at least put a smile on her face, even when I couldn’t see it.

I went into the next room and managed to find some paper and a pen and I raced back towards the janitor’s closet and wrote something down on the paper before sliding it under the door.

*My POV*

How could she? How could she suddenly decide to show up after all these years? How the hell did she even find me? I kept crying all alone in the janitor’s closet, having the broom against the handle so that no one could come in. I heard a knock so I just told whoever it was to go away.

I heard footsteps walking away so I figured they got the message, but then I heard footsteps again and then something was tossed underneath the crack of the door. It was a piece of paper. I slowly crawled up halfway out of my spot to grab the sheet of paper and unfolded it to see a very familiar little rhyme.

Oh won’t you come out little Dale.

Don’t you weep and tell me your tale.

Deacy. Whenever I was so upset that I would hide away in either a closet or under the sink, he’d always write me a silly but comforting note that always first opened with those two lines.

Sometimes that was all it took for me to open the door and talk to him, other times we’d just pass notes back and forth between the door until I was ready to come out. Since there wasn’t a writing utensil at all in here, I was forced to remove the broom and slowly open the door.

The first thing I saw his hand being held out for me to take. I slowly reached my hand out from the door and took his hand. He always knew that whenever I got this upset to never push me. I felt his thumb rub and stroke over the top of my hand, his other fingers gently intertwining with my own in various different ways trying to give me the best comfort he could till I finally had the courage to come out.

Finally I opened up the closet.

I immediately hugged Deacy and he hugged me back and I whimpered out.

“I’m sorry I pulled a Roger move.”

“Shhhh. It’s alright my little nightingale. Unlike Roger’s temper tantrum over a strange car song, you have a better excuse. I’m so sorry love I had no idea it would be her.”

“I know you didn’t have anything to do with this. It’s just—”

“No I know. I know. Believe me love, I gave her a piece of my mind after all these years. All for you.”

“Why couldn’t you have been my real brother Deacy?” he softly laughed and said as he stroked through my hair.

“I may be your cousin by blood (n/n). But to me you’ve always been the sister I’ve always wanted. And that’ll never change, you hear me?” he cupped my face into his hands. He wiped my tears as I nodded and hugged him, burying my face into his shoulder. “We’ll get through this together dove, just like we’ve always done.”

Days passed and Deacy made sure that if my mum came anywhere near me trying to start a conversation, either he or the lads would come in and save me with a ‘task’ to do, just to spare me more agony and pain, especially since she kept coming over to the studio every day and was always in the same room as I was in.

However one day when guys all had to record their parts for a new song, I was looking at all my photos when I heard her voice say.

“(Y/n)?” I froze and turned around to see my mum standing there, blocking my only exit. I stood up and said.

“Stay away from me!”

“Please just hear me out, please! Give me 2 minutes.” I looked down at my watch and said.

“1.58” telling her that her time was ticking.

“I know that—I haven’t been the best mother. After your father left us I thought I could do well by you but I guess I was wrong. I never left you because I didn’t love you, I left you because I loved you too much to put you in what I was living under. I could barely keep the mortgage on the house, we would’ve been homeless. I couldn’t do that to you. I thought that by leaving you with my sister, you’d get a better chance. Much more than you could have with me.”

“Then why didn’t you visit me? Why didn’t you call?” I asked as tears filled my eyes.

“I was a mess I—I got into some serious trouble and had to try and work them out. If they found out I had a child, then they’d use you against me. I couldn’t let them do that. But I do have something to show you,” she dug into her purse and pulled out a photograph. She walked up to me and held it out for me. “Look at this picture, just look at it.”

I looked between her and the picture until I finally took it and turned it over and was shocked to see what the picture was.

It was a picture of me at my secondary school decathlon. It was the championship competition and I had gotten the last question correct which made our school the first time in decades win a decathlon.

“You—you were there?”

“Yes, you were always such a clever girl, I knew if anyone could get your school the win it’d be you.” I just stared at her in shock, even though I hadn’t seen her since I was a child, she still was there watching over me. “I—I got more pictures like that in the apartment that I’m stay at, if you’d like you could come over and see them.”

“Really?” she nodded with a soft smile. “And I was also wondering that after you’re done with work, do you—wanna get a drink or something? Coffee? Do you like coffee?”

“I love coffee.” I said.

“Great, I know this one coffee shop in downtown.”

And for the first time, I was starting to slowly reforge a bond with my mother.

As the weeks passed and the two of us got to know each other a little more, hanging out after work, going to the clubs, and going to the mall shopping for clothes. Of course I had to buy them but hell we were using Deacy’s card and he didn’t seem to mind at all. So long as we didn’t go crazy and spend all his hard-earned money at once.

And true to her word, my mum did in fact have pictures of almost all my main important events that have happened in my life. My first swim team competition, my school play freshman year, even my high school graduation.

Every important even, she was there.

One day she had came over to Deacy and Veronica’s place and we were both sitting on the couch. The two of us laughing and looking at all of the photos I’ve taken since I’ve been with the guys, explaining each and every picture.

“There us at Rockfield farm studios, Roger was messing around with the chickens, which I told him not to, then next thing he knew the rooster was chasing after him for over 15 minutes.”

“Wow, I must say these are probably the best taken pictures I’ve seen, you’ve really got a gift.”

“Yeah, Deacy says that all the time.” She sat there silent and she said.

“Hey how do you feel about road trips?” I looked at her and said.

“You’re looking at someone whose toured with the biggest band all over the world. A simple road trip wouldn’t hurt me. You—really mean it? You and me?”

“If you’re interested. Just you and me poppet.”

“I am…..mum.” She smiled and for the first time in a very long time, my mum embraced me. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

“We’ll go first thing in the morning.” She told me and I nodded.

*John’s POV*

Seeing (y/n) hugging Kathrine like that made me feel so on edge. In fact this entire time she’s been here I’ve felt this sickening feeling that history was going to repeat itself.

“Deacy?” I turned to see Brian standing behind me. I had invited the lads over for supper and just so that way Katherine would be outnumbered should she try anything.

“If you’re going to tell me to stop spying on them, you might as well leave now.”

“You know—maybe she’s really trying to change. Maybe she did try to come back and patch things up with (y/n).” I turned to him and snarled out.

“She had 15 years to do that, don’t you think if she really cared about her own daughter she’d have come sooner?”

“I know Deacy and I’m not jumping to any conclusions yet but, from what I’ve seen so far. (Y/n) seems to really want to be with her mother. Maybe you could try to let go of the past and see that Katherine is seemingly wanting to change. At least do it for (y/n).”

“Everything I do is for her. I just—I just don’t want to see her get hurt again. For three years when she was first dropped off at my home, she always asked me ‘when’s mummy coming back?’ At the end of the three years by the time I was a teenager I just snapped and told her that she abandoned her. I felt awful in the way I had to explain it, took me over a week to finally get her to talk back to me. And I don’t know what’ll happen if she tries to leave her again.”

“I know mate, I know.” Brian wrapped an arm around me trying to get me to cheer up as I watched with a heavy heart as Katherine and (y/n) were planning out their summer road trip.

It was early the next morning, I woke up to the sounds of Robert getting fussy and felt Veronica stir beside me.

“I’ve got him love.”

“But you took care of him last time.”

“For you my darling, I would always take care of our children if it meant you could still sleep.” I kissed her temple down to her neck before getting up and heading over to Robert’s room. “Alright my boy, what’s going on with you hmm?” I picked him up and he babbled.

“Hungwy dada.” Since Robert couldn’t quite get his R’s right they always sounded like w’s. I smiled and said as I picked him up and held him in my arms.

“Okay buddy, what shall it be today hmm? Cheese on toast?”

“No yucky dada.”

“How dare you! Cheese on toast is a wonderful dish, you take that back mister man.” I teased as I began to tickle his sides making him laugh. He squirmed in my hold and that’s when I saw the silhouette of aunt Katherine walking down the stairs.

I narrowed my eyes and peeked out of Robert’s bedroom door and swore I saw a suitcase in her hand. I told Robert to go over to our room and stay with his mum while I went down to see just exactly she thought she was doing.

I silently walked down the stairs and saw her with the suitcase and she was about to grab her purse when I stopped her and said.

“Going out shopping again, Katherine?” she froze in her spot and turned around towards me and said.

“John I—I didn’t expect to see you up so early; I would’ve thought the tour exhausted you out.”

“Oh it did, but then again when my child needs me I’m always there for them. So where is it to this time?”

“Actually it’s not what you think. Work called in and I’ve got to check in on some things.”

“And what about the big road trip you and (y/n) had planned? Hmm? Were you going to let her in on your business?” I snapped.

“I was actually going to have you tell her for me.” She said. I rolled my eyes and turned away from her shaking my head.

“I knew it.” I muttered.

“Excuse me?”

“You almost had me convinced. Almost I mean you finally convinced (y/n) but not anymore! I knew you could never change. You abandoned her once before and I knew that if you ever came back into her life again, you’d do it all over again!” My voice raising up louder and angrier than I ever thought I could go.

“John?” Veronica soon came down with Robert in her arms and the lads were right behind her as well, probably hearing my yelling.

“Jeez Deaks its barely 7 o’clock, what the hell is with all the yelling?” Questioned Roger.

“Katherine’s leaving (y/n) again.” I stated. They all turned to her and Veronica said.

“Is this true Katherine?”

“And it gets better, she’s wanting me to tell (y/n) the road trip they both planned out together is cancelled instead of telling her herself.” I made sure to point out.

“It’s just business Veronica dear, if you were in my shoes you’d do the same. I promise I’ll keep better in touch this time.”

“Took you 15 years just to get back in touch.” I said. Seeing the look on my wife’s and my friends’ faces they finally got to see what I had seen all those years ago. From what I had told them, now they finally got to see it. Veronica holding our son walked up to her and said.

“Katherine, if you walk out of (y/n)’s life now…..don’t you ever come back.” With that she walked back up the stairs passing the guys. All was silent before I spoke up.

“May I have a moment alone with her?” I could already feel the tension from them. I knew the guys were just as angry as I was because they cared for (y/n) as much as I did, even after knowing her after just 3 years. I heard them walk away until finally it was just Katherine and I in my front hallway. “Sit down.”

“I don’t have time for this John—”

“I said sit down Katherine!” I snapped as I finally turned back towards her and just saw her back as her hand was on the doorknob ready to walk out. She sighed heavily and walked right past me and sat down on the living room couch.

I walked over toward her and sighed heavily and finally spoke my mind.

“You know; (y/n) was doing just fine until you showed up. But now that you’re back, you have responsibility for her.”

“Look I came back for her—”

“Oh bull. BULLSHIT!!” I yelled at her. “(Y/n) is not some purse that you hang up on a rack and then pick her up whenever you’re ready to use it. Her life goes on! She’s not supposed to be there for you, you’re supposed to be there for her!”

“You get off my back! YOU THINK I WANTED THIS?! IT JUST HAPPENED!!!” She yelled at me as she stood up. Her breathing was sharp and heavy as she tried to explain her reasoning, “After Derek left, I tried my best but it was just too much and I—”

“CUT THE RUBBISH! ALRIGHT! CUT IT!! Cause I’ve been there! But I didn’t run out on Veronica. I was there for her every day because that’s what a real parent does.”

“A real parent!? Fine. Then you’re a better father than my good-for-nothing man was. Hell John you must be better than any man in the world must be! The one in a million golden boy!” She cheered sarcastically. I shook my head at her and turned away from her. “Now are you going to tell (y/n) or not?”

“I’m not gonna do your dirty work for you.”

“Fine. I’ll—I’ll call her from the road then.”

“Yeah you do that.”

“I will.” She then walked out and that’s when we both heard (y/n)’s voice call out.

“Mummsy.” Katherine stopped in her tracks as (y/n) stood in front of me setting her bags down as she said, “You ready to head out?” Katherine turned towards (y/n) and put on that fake persona act and said as she walked up towards her.

“(Y/n) love glad I caught you. Umm…..some business came up that I gotta handle, so we’re gonna have to put our—trip on hold. You understand right?” (Y/n) was silent for a moment before she finally said.

“Yeah, yeah I understand.”

“Oh that’s great, I promise you I had no intention of having this come up.”

“No yeah I understand.”

“And it’ll only just be for a couple of weeks….well maybe even longer.”

“I get it, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

“Look I’ll call you next week and we’ll iron out the details then, okay?” (Y/n) nodded.

I could tell from the second she got the news that (y/n) was heartbroken and I feared that she knew Katherine’s real reason for leaving. She tried to pull off an understanding smile and voice but I could hear the cracks in her voice.

“It was great seeing you again poppet.” Katherine said as she reached out to her but (y/n) shrugged her off as she said.

“You too—Katherine.” She spat out her own mother’s name icily as she stared right at her. Katherine knowing that she had lost her only child once more, sighed solemnly and left without another word, turning her back on (y/n) once more.

“I’m sorry love.” I heard a choked out laugh and that’s when (y/n) said.

“No this actually works out perfectly I mean with the tour about to resume I can get back to practicing before University starts and—”

“(N/n), you don’t have to pretend around me. It’s okay to be angry.” I assured her.

“Mad? Why should I be mad Deacy? I mean at least she said goodbye this time, right? Hell at least this time you won’t have to hear me complain ‘when’s mummy coming home?’ I’m not 4 years old anymore, I can handle it. I—just wish I didn’t waste my damn time building this fucking scrapbook!” She then pulled out from her bag a photo album and glued onto the cover was a recent picture of her and Katherine together.

With all the pictures she’s taken over the years, (y/n)’s other hobby included scrapbooking. I saw that it had been completed decorated and detailed, almost like a professional had made it. She set it down on the table and just glared down at it.

I slowly walked up to her but kept to her space because I knew it was only a matter of time before she would break down and I didn’t want to overwhelm her.

“Darling, you know that if there was anything I could do to make this better—”

“No, no, no, no this works out for the best,” she said as she came up to me looking me right in the eye. “I mean it’s her loss anyway I mean I learned how to ride a bike by myself. Yeah sure the boys laughed at me but I got back up and showed them a thing or two about riding didn’t I?”

“Yes you did love bug.” I said with a fond smile remembering that day.

“And there was a hell of a lot of stuff I did without her. I learned how to shave, how to drive, I got over my first crush and date without her, I did prom without her, I had fifteen great birthdays without her! That bitch never even sent me a damn card. TO HELL WITH HER!!!” She turned and screamed at the door.

God she’s always tried to remain so optimistic about life and everything around her. Always tried to remain strong after being abandoned by both parents, she always tried to go on every day with a smile and a laugh but now she was finally letting all that pain out like a dam bursting.

Hearing her sharp breaths and the tremble in her voice just broke my heart.

“I never needed her then, and I’ll never need her now.” She snapped as she walked away. I softly spoke her name as I reached out and touched her arm. That’s when she turned around and said.

“Nah you know what Deacy? I’m gonna get through college without her. I’ll get my dream job without her. I’ll find me a good guy to be with, and then I’m going to have a whole bunch of kids. I’m gonna be a better mother than she ever was because there’s not a fucking thing she can teach me ABOUT HOW TO LOVE A CHILD!!!”

Her eyes were red from the tears pooling in her eyes and her face morphed from pure rage to brokenhearted with a snap of a finger. It was almost like she had de-aged right before my eyes and was back to being that three year old girl that I once held in my arms whenever she cried about her parents.

“Why didn’t they want me?” At this point I couldn’t hold back anymore.

I immediately wrapped my arms around her and held her as close and as tightly as I could as I felt her wet my shoulder with her tears. Her sobs pierced the room as I felt her go limp against me. The two of us slowly collapsed to our knees but not once did I let my grip on her go loose. I kept hold of her as I rubbed her back and whispered words of love and comfort in her ear.

*3rd Person POV*

Unaware that in behind the door that led to the dining room, Freddie, Roger and Brian stayed and overheard the entire conversation. And overhearing their favorite girl break down like this, broke all their hearts. Freddie wiped away his tears that were flooding down his face, almost ready to break down the door and just hug his little camera girl.

Brian who standing behind Freddie had a hand on his shoulder but he too had tears streaming down his face. While Roger who was had pulled up one of the dining room chairs just a couple inches away from Fred, his back turned towards the door.

He was a mix between pure anger and heartbreak. He wa tempted to knock over the china cabinet but also just break down into tears at hearing his partner in crime cry this much. Never had he heard her make those sounds before and it just hurt him to the core.

Back with John and (y/n), she had finally managed to cry herself to sleep. Deacy slowly picked her up bridal style when the guys decided to come into the living room and the second John saw their red, teary eyes, he knew that they had stayed and overheard everything.

“You heard it all I assume?” John asked more as a statement than a question.

“We didn’t mean to impose John.” Said Brian.

“It’s fine, beats having to tell you guys and having her relive that pain and exhausting myself to repeat the same story.” He said as he looked down at his little cousin. Roger came up towards Deacy and stroked (y/n)’s head.

“The poor dear” Freddie said solemnly.

“Guess you were right about her Deacy.” Brian said.

“There will be plenty of time for ‘I told you so’s’ later, right now I should get (y/n) back into her room so she can get the proper rest she needs.” Deacy then took his cousin upstairs and placed her back in her bed.

He tucked her in and brushed away the hair from her face and lightly kissed her forehead before leaving her room to head back downstairs.

As time went on and it was around late afternoon the guys were still hanging around John’s place, agreeing to stay until (y/n) woke up so that the five of them could have a talk. Veronica who was currently walking up the stairs to check up (y/n) muttered to herself.

“Oh I hope she’s okay.” She got to the door and lightly knocked on it and said, “(Y/n), (y/n) love it’s Veronica, may I come in?” She heard nothing. She knocked again and said, “(Y/n)?” when she didn’t get a response, she opened the door to see a shocking sight.

The bedsheets had been turned over and the bedroom window was open, the curtains blowing with the wind.

“Oh no, John!” she cried out as she raced back down the stairs. The boys heard footsteps running down the stairs and when they saw Veronica, the first thing they saw was her frantic state. John immediately went up to his wife holding her arms and said.

“Love calm down, what’s going on?”

“(Y/n)’s is missing.”

“What? What do you mean missing?!” demanded Roger.

“I went to check on her but when I opened the door she wasn’t in her room. The window was open and—” without getting another word, the four bandmates raced up the stairs to see that Veronica was telling the truth. She came up behind them as Deacy and Brian raced towards the window and looked down.

“She must’ve scaled down using the pipes along the house.” Suggested Brian.

“My darlings, her bag is gone.” Freddie stated as he stood by the closet and sure enough the bags that she had used for the upcoming road trip were gone.

“She could be anywhere by now.” Brian said but then I snapped.

“She could be out of the country for all we know because we don’t know how long she’s been gone for!”

“Deacy calm down.” Roger said.

“I swear if anything happens to that girl, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Don’t worry darling we’ll find her.” Fred assured me as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll turn London upside down if we have too to find her.”

We then split up into teams. I called my mum first to take care of Robert and watch over him then once she took care of him Veronica and I checked in the square, Fred took the studio, and Brian and Roger took the park.

It was an endless search trying to find her, and I pray to God we find her alive. It would be dark soon and all the freaks and psychopaths love to come out at night.

*3rd Person POV*

It was hours into the search and sunset would soon be near and still no one had found any signs of (y/n). After search the studio, Fred decided to help Brian and Roger in the park while Deacy and Veronica tried the mall, hoping that maybe (y/n) had gone inside since it was getting dark soon.

Fred and Brian teamed up together to search one side of the park while Roger was near by the lake searching on his own. It was then he took notice of something underneath the bridge nearby. He quickly ran towards the bridge and low and behold he had found (y/n).

She was huddled under the bridge, her knees tucked in close to her body sniffling softly. Roger took notice of the tearstains on her face and he felt his heart break once more. He cautiously approached her and knelt down beside her and softly said her name.

*My POV*

I sniffled and felt more tears run down my face. I thought that I had finally found a place to cry in peace without risking anyone coming near me and asking questions when I heard the familiar soft, spoken voice of Roger Taylor say my name. I jumped up but then groaned and turned my back on him.

“Oh god…..”

“You know you really gotta pick your hiding spots. I mean seriously you have no idea how many people could see you—”

“Why are you here Roger?!” I snapped.

“We’ve been scouring the entire town looking for you (n/n). You gave us all quite a scare.” He said. I didn’t respond to him, just scooted as far away from him as I could and put my bag between us giving me that extra space I needed. “You wanna talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. My dad never wanted me, my mum never wanted me, nobody ever wants me.”

“That’s not true—”

“Open your eyes Roger!” I snapped at him as I felt a new wave of tears hit me. “All my life I’ve had to hear all my friends telling me what great parents they have. You know my dad fought in Vietnam, my mom’s a real estate’s agent. My parents help support me. Well—both my parents never wanted me! Yeah I had Deacy and aunt Lillian but they are just my cousin and aunt. It’s not the same! My whole life I had to be loved by someone whose not my parent and I hate it! I hate it soo much!” I lowered my head choking on my sobs.

It was then I felt Roger’s arms wrap around me and I felt him place my head over his heart, each beat of his heart trying to soothe my tormented mind. He stroked down my hair and he said.

“Do you remember back on Ridge farm when Brian took us all out to that one area of woods to see the stars? Paul forced himself into the getaway, so to mess with him you filled his bag with rocks and used that lizard you came across to put on his bottle as well as on his head.”

“And then it crawled into his mouth.” I finished.

“Yeah pure stroke of genius.” He chuckled. “(N/n), you may think you’re unloved, but that is absolute bollocks. You are loved. By Deacy, Brian, Fred, me, Veronica, hell even Miami. We all love you, and if anything had happened to you, we wouldn’t know what to do.” He wiped the tearstains away from my cheek with his thumb before lifting my chin up to face him, forcing me to stare into his baby blue eyes. “The only one who doesn’t deserve to be loved and wanted is your mother. Anyone who could play you like that, has no right to be called a parent. You are way out of her league.”

“Then why would she come back pretending to care?” Roger just looked at me sadly and he said.

“I wish I had the right answer. But I can tell you this; you’re sweet, you’re kind, smart, beautiful. You’ve got more sass in one finger than Deacy will ever have in his entire body. And it’s like you said one day in the way off deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, deep.” I laughed softly as he kept repeating the word deep at least four more times before continuing, “distant future, you’ll become a mother yourself and I know that you’ll be twice the mother than your own was.” He tucked some of my hair behind my ears, revealing them before gently cupping my chin between his thumb and index fingers.

“How is it that a dentist ends up being wiser than both the astrophysicist and electrical engineer?”

“I was never a dentist and you know it.” He said as he playfully squeezed the tip of my nose shaking my head which made me laugh again as I pushed his hand away making him laugh softly. He then leaned forward and placed his forehead against mine.

This was a special little thing that Roger loved to do with me. It was our own secret little comforting mechanism. I was actually the first one to do it to him when he once had a breakdown after a show. He just seemed so peeved about something that the lads almost feared that he’d throw out another telly set. So I took the risk and took his hands in mine and just placed my forehead against his and just held that position till he calmed down.

From then on, whenever one of us was mad or upset, the forehead touch helped bring the other back to Earth. He then wrapped his arms around me giving me his famous bear hugs. His hand stroked down my hair as his head now moved next to mine while my head rested against his shoulder and the two of us sat there for a while in silence.

“C’mon kid, let’s get you home.”

“I don’t think I can.” I muttered sadly.

“Why’s that?”

“Deacy.” I simply answered. Roger separated from me and he said.

“He’s not mad (y/n)…..”

“You don’t get it, you may have seen John Deacon the man who can crumble you down with just two sentences, but you’ve yet to see what happens when he redirects that anger and mixes it with overprotective behavior.”

“Love, he’s been worried sick about you. He needs to know that his little sis is safe. I know I would.” I sighed heavily and said.

“But what if he does get mad?”

“I’ll talk to him. If anyone knows a thing about overreacting it’s me.” I smiled softly and that’s when Rog stood up and held his hand out for me to take.

“You promise to have my back?”

“Partners in crime till the very end. Just like those two cats in that poem you like so much.” I smiled up at him and took his hand and he helped me up as he took my bag over his shoulder and had his free arm wrapped around my shoulder as he guided me back to his car and he drove me back to Deacy and Veronica’s.

*3rd Person POV*

The sun had set about 5 minutes ago and with almost everyone back at John’s place, no one had found her. John who was running his hands through his hair frantic with worry as his wife tried to calm him down.

“Maybe we should call the police.” Suggested Brian.

“No need Brian.” Roger’s voice soon spoke up as he opened the door. Everyone turned to see that the drummer had finally came back.

“And just where were you all this time Roger dear?”

“Bringing back a lost lamb.” He then gestured with his arm and soon walking in cautiously was (y/n). Immediately everyone began crowding around her asking her questions about where she was and why she ran away like that.

Sensing his partner in crime’s nervousness and anxiety he told everyone.

“Guys, guys back it up. Don’t crowd her all at once.” John who merely stood there by the couch in shock to see his cousin alive and well. Roger looked to Deacy and pressed his hand to (y/n)’s back. She looked up at him and he nodded to her and she cautiously walked towards her cousin, like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.

“Where did you find her?” asked Freddie.

“At the park underneath the Churchill bridge. Poor girl was crying her eyes out.” Roger whispered. Veronica ten decided to allow her husband and (y/n) to have some alone time so she guided the boys into the kitchen for a proper meal after their long search while she called Lilian to tell her that they found (y/n) and that she would pick Robert up in the morning.

(Y/n) stood in front of her cousin. John looked down at her before finally raising his hands to cup both sides of her face to lift her face up so that he could get a good look at her.

“You’re not hurt are you?” he asked. With a shake of her head, Deacy sighed with relief and immediately embraced her before openly weeping into her shoulder. She hugged her cousin back whimpering.

“I’m sorry I ran away. I’m sorry Deacy, I’m sorry.”

“Shhhh, you’re home now. Safe and unharmed and that’s all I care about now. It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay dove.” The two cousins kept hold of each other trying to draw strength from each other knowing that they were going to get by and be okay.

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gaylemccoy972-blog · 7 years

Text

When exorcists need help, they call him

(CNN)A small group of nuns and priests met the woman in the chapel of a house one June evening. Though it was warm outside, a palpable chill settled over the room.

Leave her alone, you f***ing priests, the guttural voice shouted. Stop, you whores. You'll be sorry.

You've probably seen this before: a soul corrupted by Satan, a priest waving a crucifix at a snarling woman. Movies and books have mimicked exorcisms so often, they've become clichs.

But this was an actual exorcism - and included a character not normally seen in the traditional drive-out-the-devil script.

Dr. Richard Gallagher is an Ivy League-educated, board-certified psychiatrist who teaches at Columbia University and New York Medical College. He was part of the team that tried to help the woman.

Fighting Satan's minions wasn't part of Gallagher's career plan while he was studying medicine at Yale. He knew about biblical accounts of demonic possession but thought they were an ancient culture's attempt to grapple with mental disorders like epilepsy. He proudly calls himself a man of science.

Yet today, Gallagher has become something else: the go-to guy for a sprawling network of exorcists in the United States. He says demonic possession is real. He's seen the evidence: victims suddenly speaking perfect Latin; sacred objects flying off shelves; people displaying hidden knowledge or secrets about people that they could not have possibly have known.

There was one woman who was like 90 pounds soaking wet. She threw a Lutheran deacon who was about 200 pounds across the room, he says. That's not psychiatry. That's beyond psychiatry.

Gallagher calls himself a consultant on demonic possessions. For the past 25 years, he has helped clergy distinguish between mental illness and what he calls the real thing. He estimates that he's seen more cases of possession than any other physician in the world.

Whenever I need help, I call on him, says the Rev. Gary Thomas, one of the most famous exorcists in the United States. The movie The Rite was based on Thomas' work.

He's so respected in the field, Thomas says. He's not like most therapists, who are either atheists or agnostics.

Gallagher is a big man - 6-foot-5 - who once played semipro basketball in Europe. He has a gruff, no-nonsense demeanor. When he talks about possession, it sounds as if he's describing the growth of algae; his tone is dry, clinical, matter-of-fact.

Possession, he says, is rare - but real.

I spend more time convincing people that they're not possessed than they are, he wrote in an essay for The Washington Post.

Some critics, though, say Gallagher has become possessed by his own delusions. They say all he's witnessed are cheap parlor tricks by people who might need therapy but certainly not exorcism. And, they argue, there's no empirical evidence that proves possession is real.

Still, one of the biggest mysteries about Gallagher's work isn't what he's seen. It's how he's evolved.

How does a man of science get pulled into the world of demonic possession?

His short answer: He met a queen of Satan.

A 'creepy' encounter with evil

She was a middle-age woman who wore flowing dark clothes and black eye shadow. She could be charming and engaging. She was also part of a satanic cult.

She called herself the queen of the cult, but Gallagher would refer to her as Julia, the pseudonym he gave her.

The woman had approached her local priest, convinced she was being attacked by a demon. The priest referred her to an exorcist, who reached out to Gallagher for a mental health evaluation.

Why, though, would a devil worshipper want to be free of the devil?

She was conflicted, Gallagher says. There was a part of her that wanted to be relieved of the possession.

She ended up relieving Gallagher of his doubts. It was one of the first cases he took, and it changed him. Gallagher helped assemble an exorcism team that met Julia in the chapel of a house.

Objects would fly off shelves around her. She somehow knew personal details about Gallagher's life: how his mother had died of ovarian cancer; the fact that two cats in his house went berserk fighting each other the night before one of her sessions.

Julia found a way to reach him even when she wasn't with him, he says.

He was talking on the phone with Julia's priest one night, he says, when both men heard one of the demonic voices that came from Julia during her trances - even though she was nowhere near a phone and thousands of miles away.

He says he was never afraid.

It's creepy, he says. But I believe I'm on the winning side.

How a scientist believes in demons

He also insists that he's on the side of science.

He says he's a stickler for the scientific method, that it teaches people to follow the facts wherever they may lead.

Growing up in a large Irish Catholic family in Long Island, he didn't think much about stories of possession. But when he kept seeing cases like Julia's as a professional, he says, his views had to evolve.

I don't believe in this stuff because I'm Catholic, he says. I try to follow the evidence.

Being Catholic, though, may help.

Gallagher grew up in a home where faith was taken seriously. His younger brother, Mark, says Gallagher was an academic prodigy with a photographic memory who wanted to use his faith to help people.

We had a sensational childhood, Mark Gallagher says. My mother and father were great about always helping neighbors or relatives out. Their mother was a homemaker, and their father was a lawyer who'd fought in World War II. My father used to walk us proudly into church. He taught us to give back.

Gallagher's two ways of giving back - helping the mentally ill as well as the possessed - may seem at odds. But not necessarily for those in the Catholic Church.

Contemporary Catholicism doesn't see faith and science as contradictory. Its leaders insist that possession, miracles and angels exist. But global warming is real, so is evolution, and miracles must be documented with scientific rigor.

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One of Gallagher's favorite sources of inspiration is Pope John Paul II's encyclical Fides et Ratio (On Faith and Reason). The Pope writes that there can never be a true divergence between faith and reason, since the same God who reveals the mysteries and bestows the gift of faith has also placed in the human spirit the light of reason.

The church's emphasis on faith and reason can even been seen in the birth of its exorcism ritual.

The Rite of Exorcism was first published in 1614 by Pope Paul V to quell a trend of laypeople and priests hastily performing exorcisms on people they presumed were possessed, such as victims of the bubonic plague, says the Rev. Mike Driscoll, author of Demons, Deliverance, Discernment: Separating Fact from Fiction about the Spirit World.

A line (in the rite) said that the exorcist should be careful to distinguish between demon possession and melancholy, which was a catchall for mental illness, Driscoll says. The church knew back then that there were mental problems. It said the exorcist should not have anything to do with medicine. Leave that to the doctors.

Learn about the true story that inspired the movie The Exorcist

Doctors, perhaps, like Gallagher.

Gallagher says the concept of possession by spirit isn't limited to Catholicism. Muslim, Jewish and other Christian traditions regard possession by spirits - holy or benign - as possible.

This is not quite as esoteric as some people make it out to be, Gallagher says. I know quite a few psychiatrists and mental health professionals who believe in this stuff.

Dr. Mark Albanese is among them. A friend of Gallagher's, Albanese studied medicine at Cornell and has been practicing psychiatry for decades. In a letter to the New Oxford Review, a Catholic magazine, he defended Gallagher's belief in possession.

He also says there is a growing belief among health professionals that a patient's spiritual dimension should be accounted for in treatment, whether their provider agrees with those beliefs or not. Some psychiatrists have even talked of adding a trance and possession disorder diagnosis to the DSM, the premier diagnostic manual of disorders used by mental health professionals in the US.

There's still so much about the human mind that psychiatrists don't know, Albanese says. Doctors used to be widely skeptical of people who claimed to suffer from multiple personalities, but now it's a legitimate disorder (dissociative identity disorder). Many are still dumbfounded by the power of placebos, a harmless pill or medical procedure that produces healing in some cases.

There's a certain openness to experiences that are happening that are beyond what we can explain by MRI scans, neurobiology or even psychological theories, Albanese says.

Dr. Jeffrey Lieberman, a psychiatrist who specializes in schizophrenia, arrived at a similar conclusion after he had an unnerving experience with a patient.

Lieberman was asked to examine the videotape of an exorcism that he subsequently dismissed as unconvincing.

Then he met a woman who, he said, freaked me out.

Lieberman, director of the New York State Psychiatric Institute, says he and a family therapist were asked to examine a young woman who some thought was possessed. He and his colleague tried to treat the woman for several months but gave up because they had no success.

Something happened during the treatment, though, that he still can't explain. After sessions with the woman, he says, he'd go home in the evenings, and the lights in his house would go off by themselves, photographs and artwork would fall or slide off shelves, and he'd experience a piercing headache.

When he mentioned to this to his colleague one day, her response stunned him: She'd been having the exact same experiences.

I had to sort of admit that I didn't really know what was going on, Lieberman says. Because of the bizarre things that occurred, I wouldn't say that (demonic possession) is impossible or categorically rule it out although I have very limited empirical evidence to verify its existence.

The tragic case of the real 'Emily Rose'

If you want to know why so many scientists and doctors like Lieberman are cautious about legitimizing demonic possession, consider one name: Anneliese Michel.

Michel was a victim in one of the most notorious cases of contemporary exorcism. If you have the stomach for it, go online and listen to audiotapes and watch videos of her exorcisms. The images and sounds will burn themselves into your brain. It sounds like somebody dropped a microphone into hell.

Michel was a German Catholic woman who died of starvation in 1976 after 67 exorcisms over a period of nine months. She was diagnosed with epilepsy but believed she was possessed. So did her devout Roman Catholic parents. She reportedly displayed some of the classic signs of possession: abnormal strength, aversion to sacred objects, speaking different languages.

Learn about Anneliese Michel

But authorities later determined that it was Michel's parents and two priests who were responsible for her death. German authorities put them on trial for murder, and they were found guilty of negligent homicide. The 2005 film The Exorcism of Emily Rose was based on Michel's ordeal and the subsequent trial.

One of the leading skeptics of exorcism - and one of Gallagher's chief critics - is Steven Novella, a neurologist and professor at Yale School of Medicine.

He wrote a lengthy blog post dissecting Gallagher's experience with Julia, the satanic priestess. It could be read as a takedown of exorcisms everywhere.

He says Julia probably performed a cold reading on Gallagher. It's an old trick of fortune tellers and mediums in which they use vague, probing statements to make canny guesses about someone. (Fortune teller: I see a recent tragedy in your family. Client: You mean my sister who got hurt in a car accident? How did you know?)

Or take the case of a person speaking an unfamiliar language like Latin during a possession.

A patient might memorize Latin phrases to throw out during one of their possessions, Novella wrote. Were they having a conversation in Latin? Did they understand Latin spoken to them? Or did they just speak Latin?

Learn why Novella thinks exorcisms are fake

Novella says it's noteworthy that no one has filmed any paranormal event such as levitation or sacred objects flying across the room during an exorcism. He's seen exorcism tapes posted online and in documentaries and says they're not scary.

They're boring, he says. Nothing exciting happens. The most you get is some really bad play-acting by the person who is being exorcised.

In an interview, Novella went further and criticized any therapist who believes his patient's delusions.

The worst thing you can do to a patient who is delusional is to confirm their delusions, says Novella, who founded the New England Skeptical Society.

The primary goal of therapy is to reorient them to reality. Telling a patient who is struggling that maybe they're possessed by a demon is the worst thing you can do. It's only distracting them from addressing what the real problem is.

Driscoll, the Catholic priest who wrote a book about possession, is not a skeptic like Novella. Still, he says, it's not unusual for people on drugs or during psychotic episodes to display abnormal strength.

I have seen it take four grown guys to hold one small woman down, says Driscoll, a chaplain at St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Ottawa, Illinois. When a person has no fear and is not in their right mind and they don't care about hurting themselves or hurting others, you can see heartbreaking things.

That doesn't mean he thinks possession isn't real. He says the New Testament is full of accounts of Jesus confronting demons.

Do I still believe it happens? Yes, I do, he says. It happened then. I don't know why it would be totally eradicated now.

Gallagher agrees and has answers for skeptics like Novella.

He says demons won't submit to lab studies or allow themselves to be easily recorded by video equipment. They want to sow doubt, not confirm their existence, he says. Nor will the church compromise the privacy of a person suffering from possession just to provide film to skeptics.

Gallagher says he sees his work with the possessed as an extension of his responsibilities as a doctor.

In a passage from a book he is working on about demonic possession in America, he says that it is the duty of a physician to help people in great distress without concern whether they have debatable or controversial conditions.

Gallagher isn't the first psychiatrist to feel such duty. Dr. M. Scott Peck, the late author of The Road Less Traveled, conducted two exorcisms himself - something Gallagher considers unwise and dangerous for any psychiatrist.

I didn't go volunteering for this, he says. I went into this because different people over the last few decades realized that I was open to this sort of thing. The referrals are almost invariably from priests. It's not like someone is walking into my office and I say, 'You must be possessed.'

What happened to Satan's queen

He may not have asked to join the hidden world of exorcism, but he is an integral part of that community today. He's been featured in stories and documentaries about exorcism and is on the governing board of the Rome-based International Association of Exorcists.

It's deepened my faith, he says of the exorcisms he's witnessed. It didn't radically change it, but it validated my faith.

He says he's received thanks from many people he's helped over the years. Some wept, grateful to him for not dismissing them as delusional. As for letting a journalist talk to any of these people, Gallagher says he zealously guards their privacy.

Julia, though, gave him permission to tell her story. But it didn't have a happy ending.

He and a team of exorcists continued to see her, but eventually, she called a halt to the sessions. She was too ambivalent. She relished some of the abilities she displayed during her trances. She was playing both sides.

Exorcism is not some kind of magical incantation, Gallagher says. Normally, a person has to make their own sincere spiritual efforts, too.

About a year after she dropped out, Gallagher says, he heard Julia's voice on the phone again. This time, she had called to tell him she was dying of cancer.

Gallagher says he offered to try to help her with a team of priests while she was still physically able, but her response was terse:

Well, I'll give it some thought.

He says he never heard from her again.

Inevitably, there will be others. His phone will ring. A priest will tell him a story. A team of clergy and nuns will be summoned. And the man of science will enter the hidden world of exorcism again.

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The critics, the souls that aren't saved, the creepy encounters - they don't seem to deter him.

Truly informed exorcists don't tend to get discouraged, he says, because they know it is our Lord who delivers the person, not themselves.

Is Gallagher doing God's work, or does he need deliverance from his own delusions?

Perhaps only God - and Satan - knows for sure.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/04/health/exorcism-doctor/index.html

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