#and you're desperate for sydney to be single

[uncriticalbunny]

me whenever I see people desperate for the writers to make sydney asexual and/or a lesbian.

long post ahead.

as a black woman who is ace, I don’t think sydney being asexual would be revolutionary or interesting. it would actually be so incredibly, hugely, profoundly... boringggggg. and people who insist on sydney being asexual get a massive side eye from me. especially white asexuals, because fuck your representation, and cishet people because who the fuck are y’all? 

so rarely are black women in tv and film treated with respect and nuance, much less when it comes to romance. so rarely are we treated as a person to be desired. to be loved. openly. warmly. carnally. even less so when it’s a darkskin black woman. writers pick from one of two things when it comes to black female characters: hypersexualized vs desexualized. superficially, for all outward appearances, there are lots of asexual black women in media. that is to say, they are certainly almost treated that way. unintentionally. intentionally. maliciously. void of sexuality or sensuality. no romance because she’s a Strong Black Woman who doesn’t need a man. or a relationship so pathetic that it can hardly be called a romance. would it be nice to have an asexual black female character who has a storyline that treats asexuality with respect? yes, yes it would. but that’s not really the point of this increasingly wordy essay. if the creators/writers are to be taken at their word that sydcarmy is strictly platonic, and they had her reject marcus because he misread their interactions, then it just shows they’ve developed nothing for sydney romantically. all the shots of carmy looking at her like she hung the moon and the stars are simply because she's his #bro. marcus really only liked her for her personality and simply confused that for romantic longing. platonic connections and a one-sided pursuit with zero heat. how groundbreaking. 

every fucking white character can have all of the romance-related things though. they can kiss each other, be shown as desirable, etc. etc. nat can be cuddled and cherished by pete. richie can go on dates in a nice suit with dirt caked under his nails, be loving with his then-wife, and ostensibly be wanted by jess. tiffany can still be yearned for by her ex-husband as she prepares to marry a new one. carmy can skip around like he’s in a romcom while neglecting his responsibilities to make out with claire and call her beautiful. claire can be shot in soft, dreamy sequences with closeups of her face and have a convo with her ass out for no reason other than to say she’s desirable and fucked carmy. claire and carmy can have screentime set aside for their relationship and a tender lovemaking scene. it’s expected for white people. it’s the norm. no romantic love for sydney though. because she’s driven. because she deserves better. because romance is unimportant. because she wants that star. because she can have no distractions. because asexual. because representation. [audience cheering]

sydney being a lesbian would also bore me immensely. too often are black female characters treated by writers as russian dolls with every diversity point they can think of. books, comics, tv, film, etc. she’s black, she's lesbian, she’s trans, she’s disabled, she’s poor, she’s this, she’s that. the diversity and representation everyone wants. why is every other character surrounding this ~pinnacle of diversity~ straight, or white, or a man? yes, because that’s who’s mainly writing and casting and greenlighting these things and maybe it’s silly to expect otherwise, but still, what the fuck? congrats on being represented by this fictional character. but it doesn’t feel genuine; it feels spiteful and lazy and self-congratulatory. like where's the other black women and diverse characters lmao. to be clear, I do want to see all the black lesbians in media because there's still not very many. and black women with one, or two, or all of those “diversity points” do exist in real life. we are lesbians, we are bi, we are disabled, we are trans. we're all of those and more. and we are loved and adored. on screen? maybe with a nonexistent or poor romantic storyline. or perhaps a decent and maybe even good storyline that eventually crashes and burns. there's a popular twitter thread right now about the disposable black gf trope and the examples that keep pouring in are bleak af.

the black lesbian character headcanon/canon increasingly feels like just another way to fridge us romantically. #notalllesbiantruthers but too many tbh. a black female character will simply exist without uttering a word and a slew of white women will be there to loudly proclaim her as the lesbian representation they want, need, crave, and adore. especially if there’s zero indication of the character being a lesbian. just stereotypes and vibes. hollow, insincere proclamations. bi black women don't even exist in their world. all these things I’ve observed with sydney. she's a bro, she's butch, she's a top, she's so husband-coded. babygirl is only reserved for the most woeful, pitiful white male characters. it's hilariously #coded. and no one will push back because after all, any gay representation is a good thing.

you’ll see hit tweets about how they know deep down sydney's a lesbian or how it will be so funny when the writers make her one. really, why is that? she can't be bi lest she actually gets with carmy. carmy can't be gay because they want to fuck him too badly. yeah I’m not so convinced all the lesbian sydney truthers earnestly want to see her loved, adored, cuddled, kissed, or fucked by another woman. because would that really be the writers’ objective or finished product? or will they just make her a lesbian and pat themselves on the back for doing only that. a throwaway line? maybe give her a cute romance built largely off-screen? lesbian sydney is a win for diversity and that’s enough. and who really wants to see sydney loved on loudly or be sexual anyway? that's not who she really is! she wears minimal makeup and oversized shirts and sweaters. let’s just focus on her working herself to the bone and getting that star. and I think deep down a lot of these truthers know her storyline possibly wouldn't be done justice. that's why it's going to be so funny to them when they make her one.

it all feels so shallow. fanfiction of sydney x fem!reader or original female character or nayia (the gorgiana black chef from s02ep03) is quite literally nonexistent [!!!]. sorry, y'all are not progressive or galaxy-brained. we get a black female character who’s multifaceted and fascinating, a deuteragonist even, in a show with a fandom that barely considers her as a person, and you’ve set your grubby paws upon her to be shelved romantically. bffr, the writers are already flailing romance-wise when it comes to sydney; they would not do an asexual/lesbian storyline justice. and even if they somehow make a halfway decent attempt, maybe they should have made it clear from the very beginning. not in season 3 or 4 or 5 or wheneverthefuck after they’ve given all the white characters romantic angles and developed her strongest and most important relationship with carmy, the main white guy or possibly because they hate the fact that people ship her with the main white guy. because then it just feels reactionary. and spiteful. and lazy. anyway, this ended up being way longer than I wanted. thanks for reading. fin.

#sydney adamu #the bear #no one has to justify their headcanons or whatever cuz who gives a fuck #but when I see your blog is filled with incestuous and other crazyyyyy romantic pairings #and you're desperate for sydney to be single #kill bill sirens fr #ok but the fanfiction thing gagged me so bad bc the sydcarmy sistren are going to work meanwhile #all their naysayers and supporters of other sydney ships/headcanons have vanished when it comes to ff #nobody wants to work these days #text

[screechingsandwichtriumph]

Billy Loomis x reader x Stu macher

Billy loomis and stu macher? Ik they aren't on ur list but it would be fun to see a male nerd reader x billy and stu (yandere ofc)

Someone asked this and somehow I deleted it , so I'm sorry but I will write about them

Also , I am infact a girl , and this is the first time that I am writing for male reader , so if this is a bit not good sorry://

Summary: you are Billy's and Stu's obsession. How they are before you get together and after you do

Warnings: yandere , implied murder , implied stalking, that's all

You are literally so perfect and handsome and beautiful and smart , they can't even properly function around you

You had not been part of their original plan who was more about revenge , but you now definably were

People who flirt with you? Well they are instantly befriended and added to the friend group

The plan is to kill all of them , along with Sydney and her friends

You were in one of Stu's classes since forever and he always thought you were super cute when answering questions

But his obsession with you started later on when Billy talked to him about you

Billy had officially met you when he was running of from class , and bumped into you causing all your books to fall on the floor

He helped you pick them up and you smiled at him and he knew

" he has the most beautiful eyes , and his notebooks are all covered in little drawings. Also have you noticed him in class , how cute he is??"

Billy was rambling on and on about you , a thing unusual for him

And then Stu started noticing you more. In class and in the breaks.

They are stalkers

My boys will be following you home , knowing everything about you

Billy very strategically plans about how to approach you

When you all do end up getting together(how could you say no to those beauties and even if you could, they'd threaten you ) it is a mix of amazing and horrible

They cater to your every need. Stu is very rich , so you will miss nothing

They study with you

Or at least they'd try until Stu got bored and now somehow you all are in the kitchen eating

Is anyone annoying you? No , not anynore

They are willing to take it to the extremes for you, killing , stealing, vandalizing, the whole packet

You will never have one moment of peace with those boys. Not. One

They will excitedly support you to your studies and let me tell you , the praise you get every time you do good on a test , makes it all worth it

Sleepovers at Stu's

Billy is willing to give effort to school work , so maybe sometimes he will ask you to help him with something

You end up making out

Every single time

All of you watch unhealthy amounts of horrors together

Even better if you are the scared type , since they have you nestling in their arms in no time , your head buried at their chest in fear

They would be the type of yanders to kidnap you , but they wouldn't really have to , since they are more than capable at flirting

Now ,the bad stuff

Extremely jealous, I don't think you can even speak to male teachers , without them fantasizing about killing the person

Super clingy and obsessed, you will not be going out on you own or with friends

Expect being constantly checked and spied on by those bitches

Istg they have no idea what personal space means

Diaries , assignments and all are not hidden from them

You will be desperately trying to pay attention to school and they will be right there , talking , laughing or touching you

Their presence is so addictive , you find yourself unable to concentrate when reading if none of them is there , and there is no way in hell you are sleeping without their touch/ voice

You're cooked. I'm sorry

#stu macher #stu matcher x reader #billy loomis #x reader #fanfic #billy loomis x reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #male reader #slashers #slashers x reader #yandere #yandere billy loomis #yandere stu macher

[yet-another-haven-of-dollya]

i was catching up on your blog, and honestly your, or well, your PCs' opinion abt Sydney is so fascinating to me. when i first played the game for real (after trying to previous times and ending up in the forest being raped by wolves and kidnapped by Eden without knowing wtf was going on, and then my second try ending up in a rape cycle that ended in the asylum) i started pursuing Sydney for the first time, thinking that she'd be like every other goody-two-shoes uninteresting character that is usually a part of dating games, the stereotype that fails to interest me no matter what. then i found out i could corrupt her, and i decided to make her "fall from grace" together with my PC, and the more i interacted w her the more and more i fell in love w her character, to the point that my PC became as obsessed w her as she is with him

Sydney might honestly be my favorite LI, so to find someone who doesn't like them v much is quite the interesting experience lol. i think the part that most called my attention is the privilege part of their character that you brought up, and i think that stuck w me mostly bc i never truly saw Sydney's "privilege" like that. Sydney never gave me the impression that they were completely oblivious to everything and anything wrong that happens in the world just bc it doesn't affect them - quite the opposite, actually

Sydney isnt immune to the world they live in, not a single character in this game is (which is why i love it sm tbh). they might be extremely sheltered and protected as much as Sirris and the temple are able to make them, but when you pray w them in the temple and someone comes by to harass you she knows exactly what is happening and how to stop it. she's probably been harassed by monks and nuns as well, and unable to fight back without losing her grace. that's without even going into the Leighton punishment event, and how they react to it, which i think gives a v good view into how they cope w the world they live in depending on whether they are pure or corrupted and how that affects their interactions w PC...

ok im just rambling now, my point is, Sydney is a very interesting and complex character to me and seeing your interpretation of them was really interesting/insightful, and gave me some answers to things in your PCs' story that i used to question but always forgot to send an ask abt (such as their distaste for Sydney). thanks for reading my ramble, i love the things you're doing w your PCs and how you interpret their world <3

-smthishunting

Just in case you still don't understand the nature of the situation, the "privileged" part can be translated into "ENVY"

Sydney has had good things growing up. PC has nothing of those, which I have mentioned. "Why can they be optimistic? Why can they believe in the good in people? Why their parent doesn't demand they rent every week? Why do they have parents but I and Robin don't? Why can't I and Robin have those things that they have?..."

It's bitter, but I firmly believe, just like a redeemed bully can never achieve true peace, a sheltered child growing up with a silver spoon inside their mouth can never understand poverty and desperation either. Something bad happens to them, but they have family and financial support to overcome it, that's why they can stay pure and stay good. Robin stays ignorant too, they essentially avoid the outside world completely and if PC doesn't step up to protect them, they're ruined. That's what happens with pureness and goodness if they bloom in mud, unprotected. That's what happens on a daily basis with the children of the orphanage.

That's why my PCs are Robin's protectors. I make them taste the bitterness when realizing some things even try as they might, they can never achieve, while Sydney has those things handed to them, lovingly and matter-of-factly, as easily as falling to sleep in a soft fluffy bed. To me, that's what makes them even more protective of their waifu/malewife and more determined to shelter Robin as much as possible. They strive to give Robin what Sydney's having, their childhood together sucks so yeah let's try hard for a better future :D

As for Sydney... Well, unless future updates give them some trauma, throw them into some real fuck up situation like what PC faced daily, or reveal that they had some beef with Harper in the past and had lifelong psychological trauma, I don't think I can give them more credit.

#dollya ask #dollya art #dol pc #dol #degrees of lewdity #sydney the faithful #dol sydney #kylar the loner #dol kylar #robin the orphan #dol robin #dol fanart #bailey the caretaker #dol bailey #sirris the science teacher

[inkyquince]

Content warning. Harper being bad doctor, implied drug abuse and hypnotism, vague allusion to abuse and assault, and everyone's a tad worried. Implied spousalification.

Harper wants your mind addled. Fucked up. He wants to be the highlight of your Friday, maybe the highlight of the day of he gets that lucky.

Wants your brain foggy but not you. Memory fucked. He calmly has you take pills, pills, a lovely set of pills, a good combination.

You look blank when Whitney walks over and cheekily flirts with you. More so when Kylar does it.

Robin tried to remind you of hanging out at the beach the day before school and you tell her that she must have you mistaken.

You reintroduce yourself to your teachers, fuzzy on why they're looking at you like that, even Leighton takes pause and gives you an odd look. There's a phone in one of your drawers of your new room and it rings and rings and when you finally answer it, apologising to the caller and telling them that you're sorry but the owner of the phone can't talk to them right now, there's a beat of silence. A soft "Sunshine?" Before the line goes dead on their end.

Someone else pays your rent. Bailey has no excuse to find you anymore, but he does, yanking you out the forest and forbidding you from the beach. Every time he drags you back, you apologise for the fuss and reintroduce yourself. Bailey doesn't need to, but every Sunday he looks in your room for a moment before leaving.

Sydney says a prayer for you and your ailing memory, Kylar has to go away for a while because he was so distraught. Whitney drinks and smokes more now. Alex sits in his field and wishes on every single shimmer of a star that you get better. Robin starts every day with a smile and ends each day in tears. No one tells Eden where you are, even when using old contacts. Avery can't take you out anymore but every time you're in the park, smiling up at the statue with the lichen on its face, an attractive man stops by you and gives you a bouquet of flowers with a smile. You laugh and tell him that your room is filled with more flowers than clothes and the man just smiles and insists you take them.

Bad things happen to you, more than ever, but you never remember them anymore.

Every bad thing he lovingly paints over you brain, makes it nice and foggy. But you're still you and you so desperately need him. All that remains is your therapy sessions every night. Before too long Harper tells you it's easier to have them at his house and one day, you simply stop leaving.

Whose to complain though. Doctor knows best.

#:3 #harper the doctor #dol #quincewrites #degrees of lewdity

[youcallyourselfafilmcritic]

Here are events in Madame Web I will say as dispassionately as possible (spoilers obviously). I am not making these up:

-Ezekiel-the villain-wants the spider to become rich unlike Cassie's mom who wants to use them for healing. 20 years later he is rich. It's never explained how he made his wealth with this one spider if he didn't use it for medical purposes

-He murders their exploratory team the SECOND they find the spider even though it would make more sense to use them to get safely out of the Amazon and then double cross them once he can safely get away

-He shoots Cassie's mom in a struggle. It's implied this is because she's pregnant but it's weird with how quickly he kills the other guys and as she's holding the spider this would be a way easier way to resolve their scuffle

-The actor is ADR'd in every scene he's in and they go out of their way to make this obvious. Like he either speaks offscreen or they obscure his mouth in some way-he's also out of sync in certain points

-The main character nearly drowns. Twice. My guess is this is a motif because her powers get activated the first time and she becomes more Madame Web-y the second time and she was born in a pool while her mother dies-however for a movie that explains everything like you're a moron this is not made very clear and feels repetitive

-Uncle Ben is a supporting character and Cassie's best friend. Mary is a another supporting character, for some reason played by Emma Roberts. Peter Parker's birth is a plot point. Richard Parker is awkwardly absent for the whole movie and they heavily imply Ben has only just met May though they don't name her

-The scene inferring to May is them at the hospital eating Chinese food. Ben says because Cassie's fortune cookie fortune is smudged they will "never eating here again". They are not eating at the restaurant-they got take out

-They set up a character only to kill him off about five minutes later. This is meant to be emotional. It's done in such an awkwardly stilted way it reminded me of this:

-Cassie reacts in shock and confusion to her future vision powers AT LEAST FIVE DIFFERENT TIMES before she gets a grip on them. This includes a scene of her saving a pigeon in her apartment which felt like a reshoot because Sony thinks their audience is really fucking stupid

-We only see Julia Mattie and Anya suit up in flashforwards in two really brief scenes. This doesn't even last 3 minutes

-Ezekiel's plan involve.s seducing an NSA agent to steal her clearance (keep in mind this movie takes place in 2003). He has a nightmare about the Spider-Women killing him and discusses it really bluntly with this woman post-coitus. As in straight up tells her he dreams of his death. She has zero reaction like a normal person for about 4 minutes before reaching for her gun. This scene goes on a painfully long time and it cannot be overstated part of his plan relies on her going to bed with him so he can get the clearance password

-Mattie crosses paths with Cassie right at the beginning flipping off her ambulance. This movie takes place in 2003 New York-there is absolutely 0 way you are that rude to first responders without getting crucified

-Actually while I'm here the "coincidence" thing is brought up cause Cassie ran into all three of the girls and obviously has a past with the man trying to kill her (unbeknownst to her at the time). This could be how they try to explain the Parkers being in this. This is either a desperate sequel hook or them lazily explaining how convenient the script is cause it does not really come up again-you decide!

-Ezekiel's not Spider-Man suit is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I laugh every single time it's onscreen

-Cassie is framed as a kidnapper after Sydney Sweeney shouts that she is and then steals a taxi and shoves the three girls in the back. This becomes a plot point once. It's never brought up again

-Cassie removes the plates of the taxi and drops them right next to the cab. She doesn't even attempt to get rid of them

-She also abandons the girls in the middle of the woods by themselves so she can go back to her apartment to get her mom's notes. She doesn't know how Ezekiel is tracking them so she is just going on blind faith that they'll be safe

-Cassie never once looked into her mother's notes in the presumably 30 years she's had them. This may be because she has anger over her mother. This is brought up at Mary's baby shower (really painfully) and then never again until it's resolved

-May as well mention it here-the acting is awful. From everyone-equally terrible. The three girls are trying with what little they're given-it doesn't help that they are slapped on sympathetic backstories really haphazardly and never stand out outside of being a unit

-There is a sequence with kind of a clever set up where Cassie has to time the song Toxic to her future vision to stop Ezekiel killing the girls. However when shown it's faster to get to their location cutting through trees she reverses the cab onto the main road. Despite time being a factor and something like what happens-she getting stuck behind a lorry-not really something she needs to be concerned. Keep in mind she saves the girls by driving the taxi into the diner so the car's safety is not really an issue

-Cassie, now a fugitive of the law accused of kidnapping and actually driving a cab into a diner, decides it's best to fly to Peru and abandons the girls AGAIN (at least this time she unloads them onto Ben). We see the fugitive drive away in the banged up taxi after going back to Queens to drop the girls off and there's a time cut showing a plane flying into Peru implying she made it. It is never explained how she got to Peru

-Some guy that's part of the magic spider people's tribe drops massive amounts of exposition onto her. This character is seen once in the opening promising Cassie's mom she will tell her all this and is never seen again after this

-When Cassie gets back from Peru she is driving the same fucked up cab. She then steals an ambulance to replace it after paramedics conveniently drive up next door to Ben's (not there to help Mary with her pregnancy of course-that would make sense-but that's already been used to get the girls away from Cassie to set off this climax-it's just an easy out for her yet again as she uses the klaxon to get through traffic

-She sets off fireworks inexplicably stockpiled in a Pepsi-Cola factory and one of them removes a wall that helps our heroes. It is a very specifically powered firework

-All the girls are put in dilemmas on the roof that is framed as a choice for Cassie but she instead gets her powers to astral project herself. My friend described it as like something out of a Tell Tale game-it's as contrived as it sounds

-Cassie calls a chopper to save them. Cassie sets off the fireworks and uses their powers to guess where they're coming from to dodge them. Her stupidity in combining these plans results in a firework hitting the chopper destroying it

-Incidentally the fireworks have some of the most convenient directions ever conceived in the history of fireworks. Same with how strong they actually are

-The Pepsi-Cola sign is part of the climax as has been revealed. What you may not know is that the villain of this movie dies being crushed by the P falling on him

-When Cassie nearly drowns the second time her face gets hit by one of the fireworks. This is how she goes blind. It''s also how she got her facial scarring. It's also presumably how she becomes wheelchair dependant

-Peter Parker's birth is framed through hospital curtains that look like webs

-Despite being a fugitive of the law who destroyed property and stole an ambulance IN THE MIDDLE OF A CALL Cassie ends up in hospital with 0 complications legally speaking

-A nurse comes in and asks if the three girls are kin. Cassie says they are. The nurse immediately leaves without question

-We only see Madame Web's outfit at the tail end of the film. They desperately want to sequel hook this fucking thing

I'm probably forgetting things

#madame web #madame web spoilers #cassie web #spider-man #sony #why is uncle ben in this?

[oyasuminto]

https://twitter.com/kzmefm/status/1389400098153680896?s=20

^this but either wren, corrupt! sydney or whitney ☝

(warning its irl so uh. watch when youre alone lol) - 🗣

YES GOOD

Whitney in particular would love having video proof of what a desperate fuckin' slut you are, so needy that you'll hump their thigh like a dog just to get off.

Wren does it as a form of teasing. If you're so horny, their thigh is perfect for grinding against, only for them to move in ways that make it difficult for you to seek pleasure.

Corrupt!Sydney wants to try just about every single position once. Whether you're riding their thigh or they're riding yours, they're full of enthusiasm, practically vibrating in excitement.

#Not Writing #DOL Chat #Sydney the Faithful #Whitney the Bully #Wren the Smuggler #NSFT #Thirst #Asks

[alloverthegaf]

How did you decide to move? I'm feeling like a fresh start but worried I will miss it once I leave. Do you have any regrets?

well it obviously made the decision much easier for me in that moving meant actually being with my boyfriend instead of us seeing each other a few times a year. but whenever anyone asked why I was moving, I didn't like saying it was for him, because it wasn't the full truth.

I also wanted a fresh start, had for years, quite desperately. I wanted to move to Sydney but I was too scared to. I didn't have any close friends there and I was sure, like when I left for uni, I would end up failing, alone, and just have to come home again. so when I got a boyfriend who I loved that happened to live in Sydney, it was not only motivation to be with him, but it was like that advantage I'd been waiting for.

so I don't know your situation, and how different it is from mine; I wanted to make that clear first. I had something of a safety net when I mad my big leap.

some things have been tough since living here, mostly finding a new job after working at the same place for 10 years. You may have seen that I just quit that job after 6 months because of how awful it was. but living in the city, I know there's so many more job opportunities waiting for me, so I'm not too worried about that right now.

what I miss the most about home (other than all my pets) is being in a small country town, I knew everyone I ever had to make an appointment with. my doctor knew me and my family; so did my psychologist. my mechanics were friends with the family. everyone knew me at my favourite bakery, at the main pub, the library. it was hard giving up all of that familiarity, especially when comparing it to city people, who are generally not nearly as interested in getting to know you. I miss that little comfort.

but other than that, there's not much I do miss, mostly because I'd lost most of what kept me tied to home. again, I don't know your situation, it could be very different to mine, but I no longer had a single friend back home. I mostly just had bitter memories. I had my parents, of course, and their friends, but that's really not enough, and sometimes living with them was hard too. So I honestly wasn't leaving much behind to miss.

I guess this is a long way of saying I made the decision because at that point I knew without a doubt it was the best decision for me. I knew whatever challenges I had to deal with, I would be happier for it, and I was right. literally every time my parents talk to me on the phone they comment about how much happier I seem. 2 nights ago mum said I've become someone they had almost forgotten existed. but again, a lot of that has to do with Ron.

you will miss things about your home if you leave, absolutely. but if you really believe that a fresh start is what you need, I think you should go for it. it could truly change your life for the better. and hopefully, if things don't end up working out, you have someone you can come back home to. but you won't really know until you try.

that being said, don't force yourself to leave before you feel ready. even if it takes a bit longer than you'd like, you'll be glad you waited if it means you're more prepared.

I'm sorry if this wasn't much help, I just don't want to give too much advice based on my own unique situation. but please keep me up to date on what you decide to do, I would love to know how it goes! good luck!

#non fandom #asks #Anonymous

[inglourious-imagines]

Oh Captain, My Captain (Ronald Speirs)

Requested by: @sydney-m

Summary: You and Speirs fooled around a bit but it was just a one-time thing. However, he can't fight his feelings for much longer.

Author's Note: I don't know if this is what you wanted but this idea suddenly strucked me and I had to write it haha. Hope you like it!

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @teenmagazines @meteora-fc @eugenesmorphine @band-of-brothers-cz @real-fans  @not-john-watsons-blog @tealaquinn @ok-roemanov @mrseasycompany @punkgeekchic @wexhappyxfew @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @rayofshanshine @mavysnavy @easynix @stressedinadress @georgeluzwarmhugs @easy-company-tradition @immrsronaldspeirs @snafus-peckuh @curraheewestandalone @warrior-healer @justamadgirlinabox @happyveday

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"Find what you love and let it kill you." - Bukowski

"The war's over."

Those three words echoed in her head like a prayer and she still quite couldn't catch the real grasp of it. After such long years of fighting and dying it almost seemed surreal for it to end now. Just like that.

Y/N looked at her trembling hands, not really sure about what's wrong with her. She should be happy, so incredibly happy, that it's all finally over. No more fighting, no more killing, no more dying.

Y/N glanced at the officer sitting next to Lewis Nixon as she tried so much not to stare at his tired face. In that exact moment, in that early summer sun, Ronald Speirs looked like the most innocent person in the entire world that she almost forgot what weight he had to carry on his shoulders.

All of them had to.

Harry Welsh smoking a cigarette leaned closer to her, "You really should talk with him. The war's over now. He deserves to know."

Y/N forced herself to look away from the worn out soldier. "I don't know, Harry... I'm- I'm scared." she whispered turning to the paratrooper fully.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, my dear." Welsh tried to reassure her but both of them knew it's just words. Speirs was an unpredictable person and nobody ever knew what possibly can go on in his mind. 

"But even if you are, you've got to tell him. What would you do if he didn't know? Disappear? Run away?" Harry took a drag from his cigarette and Y/N knew he's telling the purest truth. She had to do it even though every single part of her said no.

•••

Y/N's eyes wandered to the bottle of whiskey for the hundredth time in five minutes and she had to hold her hand down so she wouldn't grab it. It was harder, way harder than it should, with all the soldiers around her getting drunk just like the other night.

"How come you don't have a drink, darling?" Speirs crashed on the chair next to her, his cheeks flushed and a bright smile on his face. She'd never - during the entire war - seen him so happy just like in that moment.

"I haven't been feeling well, that's all." Y/N tried to explain, partly to avoid the conversation about alcohol but the more she thought about what she said, the more she realised she actually didn't lie. Not at all.

"What's the matter? You probably should go to bed, Y/N. I can get you some extra blankets. And hot tea. Or coffee, whatever you like." Ron mumbled quickly as some emotion wave through his body. He tried to ignore it but it came back when he looked at the young female soldier next to him.

"I'm okay, it's nothing serious." Y/N laughed patting his shoulder gently. Ron didn't have the slightest idea how he missed her touch. This was beyond his own mind and understanding. After the slight touch they shared, he found himself falling in, craving for her hands, body and soul.

"Do you think we can talk?" the tone of her voice suddenly changed and he was met with a pair of concerned deep Y/E/C eyes.

He nodded faintly, not sure what could go wrong so quickly but he took her cold hand anyway and led her into an empty room.

Y/N walked around the room looking everywhere but at him and Speirs knew right away she's hiding something from him.

"What is it? You're kinda scaring me to be honest." he admitted as he finished his drink putting the glass away.

"No! I swear I'm okay. It's just-... I have to tell you something." 

"Are you sure you're fine? You look a bit pale, the bed might really help." Ron insisted as his posture was evidently concerned, worried and maybe even scared. He had no idea what could be so important that Y/N felt the need to be alone for talking.

The truth was, even he tried his hardest to fight it, Ronald Speirs couldn't stop his mind, soul and heart from wanting her war-stained lips, her tender touch, her quiet whisper, her joinful laugh, her beautiful scarred body. He simply craved every single part of Y/N, the desperate need to have her near him was complicating his life but he was slowly giving in. Y/N was his new hope.

"I truly feel okay, don't worry." Y/N sounded a bit frustrated with the soldier as she couldn't get to the point.

"I'm gonna get you some water at least, right? Just wait a second." Speirs stated as a matter of fact walking towards the door.

And at the moment, when his hand touched the door knob, Y/N knew that if he left the room, she'd never be able to tell him.

"I'm pregnant, Ron!" 

Everything stopped. His arm fell to his body as he immediately freezed on the spot. Speirs expected everything, every single thing in the world, but not this. He slowly turned on his heel looking directly into her scared eyes. Fatigue and worry was basically radiating off of her.

"Are you sure it's mine?" Ronald whispered because he didn't dare to speak out loud. A weird atmosphere was floating in the air as well as plenty of unanswered questions. "Alright, that's a stupid question." he added as he saw the ironic look she sent him.

The room was flooded with silence for a moment - neither of them didn't know what to say. Their emotions were going through a storm, it was difficult to look at the other one without the unconditional love they'd been hiding inside of them since the night in Heagenau.

"I better buy that family house in the States I've wanted to buy for a long time then." Ronald Speirs finally spoke up with an innocent pure smile set on his face. 

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Ron took a few steps toward her. "It has a beautiful garden with lots of flowers of so many kinds. There's even a little house for the dog you've always said you wanted. The view from there is spectacular - woods and hills and mountains."

At this very point, Y/N was crying like a little baby as she hugged the soldier so tight like she never wanted to let him go.

"We made a human." Ron whispered pressing a gentle kiss on her lips that expressed way more than words ever could.

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