#angrylesbianstereotype

[kylejsugarman]

Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up maladaptive whatsit instead of a dramatic one I think about how Jesse definitely does his “YEAH BITCH” cheer for his kids whenever they accomplish literally anything they can take the man out of the whimsy but they can’t take the whimsy out of the man… Jesse going “YEAH BITCH” when Baby wins second place at a spelling bee or something and the other parents being like >:((

god forbid hes EXCITED about his beloved child doing great things.....time and circumstances can change a lot of things but it cannot take the whimsy and lack of impulse control out of the man. i love a good pick me up maladaptive whatsit, especially when it involves jesse not losing his annoyingness. the other parents can whisper to each other but do their flop ass kids have a spelling bee trophy and the cutest smile in the world?? no?? then a "yeah bitch!!" is warranted

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #i literally almost made a post today abt how i love it when jesse is consistently annoying #anyway thank u for sharing this with me i love it and u :') #jesse pinkman #baby ayuluk

[angrylesbianstereotype]

Please read if you or someone you know could use a proofreader/editor!

So y’all would have no reason to know this, but I did graduate college with a Bachelor’s in Journalism. My current job pays me minimum wage and my puppy (Chex Mix) is currently having some health problems (nothing serious, just expensive!) so I’m offering proofreading for $20-$25 depending on word count. If you are a college student looking for someone to proofread essays, a writer looking for advice on the cheap, etc, message me with a request and we can exchange information. Reblogging to help me get traction on this is also appreciated!

XOXO,

Tumblr User angrylesbianstereotype

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #creative writing #writing resources #student resources #freelance #proofreading #breaking bad #brba #angrylesbianstereotype

[kylejsugarman]

Hiya Syd :) soooo when Jesse starts acting as a parent to Baby does his love for her ever manifest as a new understanding and horrible guilt over what he put his parents through? Does he lay awake at night thinking about how he would feel if he didn’t know if Baby was dead or alive? Does he want to call them so badly even if he doesn’t especially want to talk to them, just to put their minds at ease?

don't ":)" me before putting this in my inbox, u little demon. before i beat u with clubs and sticks, i have to say that the answer to all of these questions is "yes". because at first, jesse is so intensely focused on protecting his new identity and not arousing anyone's suspicion that it's easy some days to like completely displace himself from his roots. he has flashbacks and thinks A Lot about the more recent events of his "old" life, but it's easy for the earlier stuff to trickle out as he cuts ties and almost forget that like. he was a son. fuck, technically he IS a son, but james driscoll basically appeared out of thin air and that's who he is now, right??

but it seeps back in, slowly and painfully—the knowledge that even though he got to start over, his parents didn't. they have to keep living his old life for him. he loses track of baby in a store and even though he finds her just a few minutes later, that desperate, lightheaded panic keeps him up all night not just because it was so deeply and viscerally terrifying but because it wasn't her fault. she hadn't defied him or anything; they just got temporarily separated. but he had done it on purpose. as early as middle school. not coming home, not calling. then he started using and it became harder to come home because of the arguments and the yelling and sure, he didn't feel great then about getting high and leaving home, but he never thought about how it must've felt for his parents. he always just assumed they were glad that he was gone for a while. did his mom feel this way?? this awful panic like his heart was falling down an elevator shaft?? did she see news stories while he was unreachable about gang shootings and car crashes and think he was dead?? do his parents now look at his closed bedroom door and believe—with awful certainty—that he's dead and buried somewhere in the mexican desert??

not knowing then, but knowing now is just so exquisitely painful because in another life, jesse would have been able to come to this realization and talk to his parents about it. sure, it might've been awkward or painful, but it would have been Good and now he can't. he's stuck with this horrible guilt and there's nobody in the entire world he can share it with. he could call them (for all of the memories that've been beaten out of his head, his home phone number is still carved out clearly like the sketches he engraved into his high school chem desktop) and say Something, maybe even pretend to be someone else and give a vague "ur son is okay". but his situation is so precarious. what he has now is so precious, so impossibly rare. he sometimes childishly hopes that his parents just sort of Know that he's safe through some sort of parental intuition, but he understands now from experience that u can never really Know for certain. they'll never Know. and that's the worst part of all. because he got the relief of seeing a lost but unharmed baby at the end of the detergent aisle and rushing over to grab her, but his parents will never get that and he can never give it to them.

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #i hate u and am going to kill u ok?? #jesse pinkman #baby ayuluk

[kylejsugarman]

Idk if you’ve answered this already but at what point in their relationship did Jesse tell Demi ab his past? How did that go over? How much does she know?

ive mentioned it some before but i haven't really gone super in depth!! as u all may know, i am very "and then everyone made it to alaska and everything ended up ok!! :)" minded, so i dont have a big dramatic revelation beat to my story and ultimately, jesse never tells demi that he's living under a completely new identity. however, he does tell her a Lot of other things, partially because he trusts her, partially because he feels guilty keeping things from her that might make her see him differently; he feels that she deserves to know how fucked up he is so she can escape him and avoid tying herself down to a mistake. jesse first tells her about his drug use after demi explains how her sister died, again out of that guilt and the expectation that she won't want to associate with a former(ish) addict, but demi saw firsthand how powerful addiction can be and isnt scared off. when it comes to his criminal history, it takes him a little longer to work up the nerve to disclose that stuff: he's afraid of both endangering her by letting her know what he's done and losing her. he drops a few things along the way, usually related to drug dealing and production since she was so understanding of that aspect of his past, but once they decide to get married, he feels that he owes it to her to be totally honest. the dark details of making and selling the drugs, being around violence and controlling figures. enacting violence himself. losing people. being sold into slavery. he leaves out specific identifying details (demi's never been a current events kind of person but he cant risk her connecting those dots) and places a lot of the blame on himself instead of trying to describe the people from his past who were pulling a lot of those strings. its basically an abridged version of the show's events, no names, no details in certain places (he doesnt even tell her which state he used to live in), and no forgiveness.

demi listens patiently the whole time, not asking many questions along the way. she tenses up when he touches on captivity, but otherwise her demeanor remains open and nonjudgmental. when it's over, she doesn't say anything, which is somehow worse than disgust. jesse is so wound up at this point that he flips out on her, insisting that this is her time to cut her losses. he's a criminal, a fucking murderer. he's evil. demi still doesnt react the way he wants and instead just waits until he's out of venom before reaching out to very gently smooth down his hair. petting the angry, upset dog instead of reflexively giving him away. "im sorry you've had to carry that around with you all this time," she says softly and that breaks him. because it Has been so hard carrying that around. demi asks a few more questions, clarifies a few more things, then tells him what she thinks. that she's seen how he acts now, how he treats people, how he treats himself. that she grew up with a father who sounds like the figures he alluded to in his story. that she is uncertain and insecure about a lot of things, but she's never been more sure that jesse is a good person and that she loves him irrespective of whatever came before. "im dangerous," he insists, a former fighting dog that would rather die than return to the ring. a hand on his own—"then why do i feel so safe with u?"

it's not perfect. there will always be things that jesse never shares with her and he will never totally forgive himself because as the one living person who knows the Extent of what went down, he feels that it's his responsibility to hold himself accountable for It for the rest of his life. demi's perception of him Does change, although not entirely in a negative way, and she is a little hurt that he expected her to bail so quickly and she can't lie and say that her mind doesn't occasionally drift to the fact that her husband has killed people. but at the end of the day, they're two broken people who were utterly convinced that their lives were over before they found each other. this is their second chance at life and they're never going to take that or each other for granted. whatever comes, they're going to face it together

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #i cannot fucking believe this. i cannot fucking believe u made me act up like this #i am SO SORRY in advance for how long and incoherent and just. flagrantly hand-wavey and self indulgent this is my god #jesse pinkman #demi ayuluk

[kylejsugarman]

I so wanna hear your thoughts on how au squared would change Jesse as a character esp S1 Jesse… like with how protective he is of kids I can’t imagine him being nearly as irresponsible as he was in canon, not with an infant daughter to look after. I’d imagine he’d try a lot harder to get and stay sober, my thinking is he relapsed from the stress of taking care of both Ginny and Baby, and then Ginny’s death just made everything worse as he scrambled to support them so his parents wouldn’t take custody, so he’s still in a pretty bad place and without a support system when Walt meets him. I also think Walt would lean a lot more heavily into the “doing this to support my family” angle to manipulate him, ex: “Do you want Baby to grow up without a future just because you’ve squandered your own? We’re doing this for our daughters remember” That kind of thing

u literally have the vision and the understanding and the insight, u completely understand where im coming from here. jesse is absolutely in a bad place when walt extorts him for the reasons u mentioned: he doesn't have ginny anymore, he can't trust his parents because he knows that for all their concern for baby they would take her from him in an instant, and he (believes that) doesn't have the skills or sobriety or schedule to hold down a job that pays well enough to support them. making meth is basically the best arrangement since there's no "schedule" and the money is good ("why do u do this?" "uh money mostly"), but that's obviously not great for his own drug use so it often comes down to "do i avoid drugs and potentially run out of money to feed my kid or do i peddle meth for good money and relapse constantly??" he tries really hard to be responsible, but it's a really stressful situation to be in and jesse finds himself lashing out in his daily life and self-medicating with drugs to cope with that stress. baby herself is basically the only thing in the world that makes him truly happy and he'll do whatever he can to give her what she deserves

walt, always the hypocrite, is disgusted with this choice even though he's essentially entering the drug business for the same reason and is constantly vocalizing his repulsion. insulting jesse for being a bad father is up there with demeaning his intelligence and berating him for using drugs in terms of go-to abuse tactics for walt, because he Knows that it cuts to the core. jesse will do Anything he wants if walt makes him believe that it's good for baby. in a sad way, jesse trusts walt on that front since walt has much more experience being a father, even though walt's parenting is extremely flawed and just continues to deteriorate as the series goes on, and sincerely believes everything that walt says about family (including walt's insults about jesse's capacity to be a father). walt knows how much jesse trusts and believes what he says, and weaponizes that a lot, especially later in the series once he truly witnesses just how much jesse loves baby and starts to lose his hold on jesse. the whole poisoning thing is so much more painful because the whole time leading up to it, walt is berating jesse for being in this business and getting involved with gus and mike when he "has a little girl at home waiting for him", but he emphatically decides to poison baby Because he knows it's the one thing that'll totally break jesse and get him back on his side. if jesse has reason to believe that gus hurt his daughter, he'll kill him and anyone else that walt asks him to. it's the perfect kill switch for walt, one that he built himself through months of eroding jesse's confidence and sense of self-worth.

in a lot of ways, au squared jesse is similar in that he lashes out a lot and is easy to manipulate through exploitation of his insecurities and the promise of love, but these things go deeper because jesse is even more insecure and even more desperate for love since he has so little support. he latches onto walt despite the abuse because walt is an adult who is at least providing some kind of guidance. he latches onto Everyone. while he may not be as completely reckless as his regular counterpart, jesse tries really hard to repress all of his feelings and anxieties when he's with baby just to avoid making things worse, and those bottled-up feelings manifest pretty violently and angrily once he's away from her and it can be hard to control himself. he just wants to do right by his daughter and keep her safe, but it's a huge struggle and everyone around him (walt especially) is ready to take advantage of this huge vulnerability

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #ur making me insane. u are doing some cocomelon shit to me #au squared #jesse pinkman #baby ayuluk #walter white

[kylejsugarman]

Syd Syd I used to love American Girl Dolls as a kid and I currently love being a hater please give us the rundown on why the new dolls suck

oh my god ok ive already made a ton of posts about them but let me summarize: american girl's latest historical dolls are twins from 1999 (which like. hardly historical) and in addition to having a boring story that basically consists of "y2k might happen. also we are twin sisters who have to share a room." the dolls look like fucking teenagers. like the only word for them is tiktok-ified, it literally looks like theyre teenagers on tiktok who sometimes dress in y2k style because that look is trendy rn

these are not nine-going-on-ten-year-old girls. they literally have painted on lashes and long glossy hair and faces + brows styled to look like they're wearing makeup. one of them is wearing PLATFORMS. no nine-year-old girl looks like this!!

its just emblematic of a few bigger problems with ag: overshadowing their dolls of color (the twins were debuted and heavily marketed shortly after ag introduced a new historical doll claudie, an adorable and lovely little black doll from 1920s harlem; also the whole releasing the 2024 girl of the year in october to overshadow the 2023 goty, who was the first indian girl), nostalgia-baiting to try to lure fans into buying stuff (like half of the twins' collection so far is re-releases of outfits and accessories that ag made and sold in 1999), toning down stories to the point where they're all bland and forgettable, and leaning into the increasing pressure on young girls to look stylish, perfect, and put-together in fucking elementary school. young girls nowadays are biologically and socially "maturing" earlier than they have before and ag shouldn't give into that by releasing dolls that look 15 and tiktok ready. let little girls see themselves in the dolls and fucking ENJOY being little girls

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #the twins just perfectly encapsulate everything i hate about modern ag #american girl doll #ag #american girl

[kylejsugarman]

Happy birthday Syd!! Thank you for letting me talk ab my Mike and Jesse Best Friends Forever au for 1 million years!! Rn Mike is peacefully swinging on his swing outside patiently waiting for Jesse to bust through the door like the Kool Aid Man to excitedly talk his ear off about nothing of relevance

are u kidding, theres nothing i love more than talking to u about mike and jesse best friend adventures for 1 million years!!!! whether they are humans in alaska or doggies in the backyard. thank u for the happy birthday and for the fun times, im sitting next to mike and ready for jesse to come annoy me 💕

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks

[kylejsugarman]

Please don’t ever feel like you’re annoying us w your au! It really makes me feel like I’m watching Jesse live out his Happily Ever After in Alaska which is all I’ve ever wanted, your characters are so drawn out they’re basically canon to me now <3 Baby esp speaks to the Weird Little Girl I used to be who was also obsessed w marine biology (I esp love Orcas… Baby hit me w some Orca facts pls??) also would love to hear more ab this au + Mike lives w Jesse in Alaska au bc you know that’s my favorite 🥺👉👈

IM 🥺 literally i just need to know that things will be ok for him in the end, ill make the spinoff sequel show, ill build his little alaska world. it really means a lot to hear that people actually Like the au and the characters because its super special to me!! we all need some love and warmth and a little kid who pretends to be coral and fact checked the "blackfish" documentary, and no one deserves all that more than jesse tbh 💕

and u also know that my love for the mike + jesse dynamic got dialed up to 11 the first time i got within 10 feet of ur blog, so of COURSE i was going to figure out a way to get them back together. it just makes me so emotional to think of jesse not only having the closest thing he ever had to a positive male role model back in his life, but having someone who Knows what exactly he went through and how specifically, granularly fucked up it was. someone who knows what he means when he says "i thought i saw Him in a crowd today", someone who will listen and understand the extent of the depravity when he talks about his captivity. that just feels so important, to have one positive connection to his past that jesse can bring into his new life and also that connection gets to be mike!!! best friend mike!! who was already getting soft for the kid and seeing him here—free, in control of his life, no one telling him what to do—and with a soft place to land in his family just makes the heart grow fonder. mike is of course cursed to always be a crusty old man, but that doesn't mean he can't take the family fishing (towards the end, before everything fell apart, he'd started thinking about maybe teaching jesse to fish. it'd probably be too boring for the kid but its a good skill to have) and get baby one of those plastic "my first fishing pole" poles. it just really makes that aching emptiness in his chest that he's been trying to fill ever since matty feel smaller when mike comes up the cabin and opens the door to demi instantly taking his jacket and telling him that she recorded the toronto game for him since he was driving up during it, to baby solemnly informing him about how salmon migration patterns have changed in the area where they usually fish, and to jesse who always looks at him like that first time they first crossed paths in alaska, with that kind of pitiful, kind of heartwarming combo of disbelief and childlike glee. like he's afraid this is all a dream but doesn't want to wake up and found out. mike's less stingy with hugs these days.

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #this got stupid long christ but this is also ur fault for summoning mike jesse demons that accost me every single day #jesse pinkman #mike ehrmantraut #demi ayuluk #baby ayuluk

[kylejsugarman]

Syd I literally look forward to seeing you on my dash every time I come on here remember our guiding star Jesse Pinkman character of all time also didn’t believe he deserved to be loved and how obviously untrue that was of him is how obviously untrue it is of you <3 you’ll get your fucking off forever to Alaska moment I believe in you!!

:') thank u so much, ur always so kind and i really love seeing u on my dash too!! thank u for putting this in terms i can understand (jesse pinkman allegory), i cant wait to find my alaska and take u all with me 💕

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks

[kylejsugarman]

Trick r treat <3

oh shit, what up sam?? i prommy im respecting ur holiday. and as for u, happy halloween!! :D because of ur halloween spirit, im presenting to u miss pumpkin tart, dressed here in her very cute werewolf costume!! 💕

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #trick or treat

[kylejsugarman]

i need that one post where its screenshots of the brba scene where mike and jesse are stopped off for coffee and mike notices jesse's hands are shaking and jesse's like "sorry....just Not Using....." and op edited the last frame to be mike handing over adoption papers like "sign here"

#syd squeaks #can u tell im talking to angrylesbianstereotype #i love that post so much. only correct way to end that scene

[angrylesbianstereotype]

Hubris is me posting that a website known for it’s smooth-brained takes and touchgrass moralizing is my safe space or whatever and then being immediately being like. Softcore cyber bullied

#anyways if you disagree w me on anything you’re lesbophobic so #checkmate ig #hashtag angrylesbianstereotype is over party

[angrylesbianstereotype]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Breaking Bad Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Mike Ehrmantraut & Jesse Pinkman, Jesse Pinkman/Walter White, Todd Alquist/Jesse Pinkman, Jesse Pinkman/Other(s) Characters: Jesse Pinkman, Mike Ehrmantraut, Walter White, Todd Alquist, Andrea Cantillo (mentioned), Brock Cantillo (mentioned), Nacho Varga (mentioned), Jack Welker (mentioned) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Whump, Father-Son Relationship, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Aftermath of Torture, Rape Recovery, Healing, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Anti-Walter White, Papa Bear Mike Summary:

In which Mike does not die from Walter’s attack, returns to Albuquerque post-recovery, and rescues Jesse from the compound.

*Jennifer Coolidge voice* Hi

Sorry about the wait folks, it will almost definitely happen again! Hope this is enough to tide y’all over

TW WALT AND TODD POVS also tw for a lot of other Fucked Up Shit <3

#fait accompli #breaking bad #brba fic #ao3 #jesse pinkman #mike ehrmantraut #walter white #todd alquist #waltjesse (derogatory)

[kylejsugarman]

my life and vocabulary have been irreparably changed by the following phrases in breaking bad posts:

“gale danced a fruity meth samba on their literal grave”— @notcapableofbeingtheguy

“you guys act like doc review is the nazi meth cage”— @odekirk

and most importantly: “noooo mike 🥺 best friend mike”— @angrylesbianstereotype

#syd squeaks #brba posters know how to string words together than anyone else #thanks for ur hard work guys 🫡

[kylejsugarman]

still astounds me sometimes how patient mike (the least patient, most no nonsense dude ever maybe) is with jesse in that scene from s5 where jesse won’t let him kill lydia

it reminds me so much of that one post @angrylesbianstereotype made where its like post season 4, jesse's always like "noooo best friend mike 🥺 if u kill them i will be so sad" and mike's like "well we can't have that". mike's no nonsense but i think he does develop some respect for jesse's desire to keep people from getting hurt, even if its very idealistic and makes no sense to mike. also i feel like killing lydia would just create more problems than it would solve and its probably a good thing he was talked out of it

#anonymous #ask #syd squeaks #also: nooooo mike. best friend mike. #sorry for tagging u but I still get that post stuck in my head all the time #breaking bad