#anyway i've rambled enough

[deservedgrace]

Am I being petty? My dad is always saying stuff like “I’m praying for you to be successful” or “god made you perfect”. I know he means well but it’s so uncomfortable whenever he does those things. I don’t want you to pray for me, I need real help. You don’t know the real me and you probably wouldn’t be as proud if you did. He still thinks I’m the perfect Christian boy instead of an atheist who’s figuring out their gender. He claims to love and support whatever I want, but he always leaves out being a girl when listing off topics, and has questioned me at random times about trans athletes when I’m too tired to think of an answer.

In my opinion, absolutely not.

I was actually just talking about the prayer thing with my friend last night. So many christians use prayer as almost a silencing method, whether intentionally or unintentionally. When I left the church I realized just how abysmal my comforting/supporting methods were because while I was in the church, I and everyone around me relied on cutting uncomfortable topics short with "well I'll be praying for you" or ask to pray with you about it, and offer literally NO other support while also expecting prayer to, just fix it magically. Hilariously, the same people that are always like, "god's not a genie, you're praying wrong if you're expecting him to answer every prayer you have" seem to ask for and expect genie-like responses from him while doing NO work of their own to support the people they're praying for. Prayer is Very Very often used as a substitute for support. Even when I was deep in the church it never felt sufficient, but I couldn't say anything because it was supposed to be sufficient and if it wasn't sufficient that was a problem with me and my "sinful nature". Churches and christians that focus on prayer over actually being the hands and feet of jesus (fucking doing something about it) aren't fostering proper community and support. They're fostering a culture of not being able to talk about difficult things, of suffering in silence, and of relying on a silent and unprovable god which often results in being taught to rely solely on yourself.

I really feel for you with the gender thing. I don't know the full context of your specific situation but I see "god made you perfect" used to silence any notion of being trans far, far too often. The implication being, being cis is the default, being trans is going against who "god made you to be", etc. I've noticed this especially of christians who believe in complementarianism (men and women have different roles to fulfill), many of them tend to "love and support whoever you are"........ so long as it falls into their tiny box of what they deem acceptable. I don't want to turn this into a whole thing about gender but even in a worldview that doesn't recognize the existence of trans people, there isn't a definition of womanhood that includes every woman and excludes every non-woman and vice versa for men ("a woman is someone who can have babies" excludes those with infertility issues, something that affects up to 20% of women, "a woman is someone who has XX chromosomes" excludes intersex women, "a woman is someone who has a uterus" excludes women who have had hysterectomies, "a woman is someone who has had a uterus at SOME point" excludes women that simply born without one, which happens to about 1 in 5000 based on a quick google, etc etc). My point being, they're trying to draw these confining and limiting boxes where they can't. Humans don't work like that. Their idea of perfection is something that is simply biologically and sociologically and historically unsupported. Gender is complicated because humans are complicated. It's disappointing that some people can't see the beauty in that and it's devastating that it often causes so much pain and suffering to those around them.

I really hope you're able to find proper support. If possible, I encourage you to (safely!!!) continue exploring your gender. And it makes complete sense that you'd feel uncomfortable about these things. Prayer without proper support is skirting responsibility at best. Tearing down trans athletes and doing the christian "god made you perfect" thing with the implication of cis being the default is not a supportive environment to be around. I'm not going to be able to remember the quote verbatim but one of my favorite god/trans quotes is something along the lines of "god made trans people for the same reason he made wheat but not bread and grapes but not wine; so humanity may share in the act of creation". I'm not necessarily encouraging this as a "gotcha" statement, I can hear in my head exactly how my church would respond to that. But outside the church I think it's a beautiful reframe despite me not believing in god anymore. And if you would prefer something less religiously related: I'm deeply sorry you're not in a supportive environment. There's nothing wrong with you. As far as I can tell you're having a very normal reaction to the shit you're having to put up with and the situation you're in.

#i hope you don't mind me responding publicly #if you're uncomfortable with it i'll absolutely take it down but all this is something i've been thinking about for a bit lol #also just to say it to anybody reading: it is 1000% okay to explore your gender and come to the conclusion that you're cis #like peer reviewing your own gender is a good thing and it's okay if the conclusion you come to is “no this is correct actually” #saying that bc i think sometimes people get nervous to explore their gender #bc there's sometimes an expectation that you'll come out trans at the end of it #ofc it's fine and cool and beautiful if you go through it and realize you're trans #but the same is true if you come out of it with a better understanding of your gender and it happens to be cis #ANYWAY i've rambled enough #ask

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate #my art #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji fanart #black butler #black butler fanart #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush??? #it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes #oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful #back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again #i haven't in a while #if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there #and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr #and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute #enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece

[lazylittledragon]

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

#ramble #idk if this is a me problem or not #i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now #maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening #i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me #what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work #then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway #right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening #something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together #this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem #i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

#zutara #atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #katara #zutara fanart #Wip #First page of three is done!!! #Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!! #It's been ages since I started this project omg #But it's worth it #Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho #I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you #Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that. #Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first... #... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol #Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits #And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one... #And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts #So uh #Yeah #Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay) #Dema out #(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious) #(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)

[tarufai]

#spiderman #deadpool #spideypool #comic #I did this for a class #an ENGLISH class #but we're learning about comics as literature and for the most recent paper we had an option to make a comic #and the main theme we're studying this semester is power so i made this #anyway I forgot how goddamn hard these two are to draw #I hate how complicated their costumes are like its so unnecessary #but I also think this is the most accurately I've drawn them #and they looked consistent through this whole thing #so I'm really proud of myself #and yes this is gay but i'm imagining that in this scene they don't realize they have feelings for each other yet hee hee #some of these were fuckin hard angles too what was i doing to myself!!! this was hard af!!! wtf!!! #and to be honest i drew all of this yesterday and today!!! that was so much drawing!!! og my god!!! #but it was fun he he #except i will always hate the webs on spideys costume. hell world #they have to look such a specific way and it is not easy #enough rambling. enjoy #also sorry im reuploading this because i had accidentally colored in one of spideys speech bubbles as yellow

[daily-odile]

Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why

have two bc i care them

#in stars and time #isat #epithet erased #molly blyndeff #isat odile #I've been trying to draw this for like... 5 days straight.... #Thank you for making me obligated to draw this. honestly might not've if it wasnt an ask #anyways ya'll so hear me out. odile mother/grandma figure to molly #Honestly after thinking about it a little more Odile is actually quite different to Calliope based on descriptions alone? but #I think having a Dependable Trustworthy Adult in her life is. She needs it #We don't know a lot about Calliope and idk what parallels odile has with her; but I hope she reminds Molly of her mom at least a little bit #And for Odile's pov? I think she'd really really like Molly #She's more mature than most for her age and she's extremely observant and intelligent. Those are things Odile respect #Cue a dead mom joke though and odile very quickly goes to ''ok there's something wrong with this child'' #I don't think I have the idea fleshed out enough in my head to say anything for sure? But Odile and Molly having a Talk about her home life #would be Extremely interesting #Oops! Rambled in tags again! Teehee! #also do you think odile will ask molly for her full name only for molly to hit her with the #''molly wolly doodle all the day blyndeff'' and odile instantly regrets it #validation for bonnie #edit: rearranged tags just in case #day 19 #crossover

[fuedalreesespieces]

sota's brave confession of love being that episode:

[worth noting here that in the dub the way richard says "WHAT-ever..." priceless.]

[also worth noting that in the dub he says "you already said that" instead of "hah! what're you saying?!" which feels more like an inuyasha response to me. then again we'll never know since this is technically anime-only, and while i tend not to like a lot of inuyasha filler, if it's in the modern day i will eat it up. every. time.]

inuyasha being stunned by the sheer amount of goods in a grocery store...gold. earlier in this episode he also seemed enamored by baked goods, and i wonder if he's ever really had anything resembling it? bread made its way to japan mid-16th century via portuguese traders, so it's likely he's never had anything like it and the smell must've been new to him - it would've been interesting if we'd seen him trying all these new foods!

i can never decide whether or not sunrise likes inukag bc they'll cut out canon scenes of them but then insert scenes like this in their filler eps...what game are ya'll playing? but flustered inuyasha is adorable so i can't complain this time.

eavesdropping...

i'm sorry WHERE is he getting these questions from i actually burst out laughing

called out by an eight year old...

i don't care whether or not this is ooc because i laughed way too hard like he really got dragged from potential sleep to deal with this LMAO

this is the cutest thing i've ever seen and it only gets better:

shortly after: sota getting kicked out of his own house after chickening out for the tenth time this episode

smol

flustered inukag my beloved...

anyway this episode is a dumb fun and i love it to an insane degree. the only part i would say is out of character (at least, more out of character than sunrise already does inuyasha) is when he literally makes this face at the thought of confessing to kagome:

coming from the guy who was pretty open about his feelings in the manga and quite literally told kagome - thinking she was hearing him - that he likes seeing her smile and feels relieved when he's by her side, i don't see him getting this flustered - but the face he makes is priceless.

#the amount of times i've rewatched this episode can't be counted tbh #i loved seeing inukag try to help sota confess with various methods #from kagome dressing him up to inuyasha “training” him #they hyped him up soo bad this ep lmao #too bad it didn't pay off since he interrupted them like five seasons later #there's another scene where inuyasha and kagome are like “why doesn't he just get over himself and confess” which in isolation is funny #but when i think about it they weren't even that dense in the manga it's literally only anime inukag w/ this problem #which is another sunrise addition that nobody asked for #so i didn't include that here bc after reading panels of inukag being in an almost pseudo relationship it's so jarring going back to this #will they wont they thing like nooo sir #anyway enough tag rambling #inuyasha #inuyasha a feudal fairy tale #inuyasha anime #inukag #kagome higurashi #sota higurashi #kagome #inuyasha x kagome

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[sleepgarden]

new headdress I'm working on for my shop. Lambkin, the pet name varré gives us in elden ring, is such a cute word. The pink yarn is very light against the cream, it's hard to capture but it "blushes" in light, almost disappearing under certain angles and light! Accented with antique lace, and it'll have a gorgeous matching ribbon and bows.

I haven't posted any personal work in a while so here's something I'm taking time on for myself ^-^

#Making egl garments has been a long time dream of mine... imagine I had cute little sleepgarden brand tags #Maybe someday.. #I'm going to be more realistic with my pricing going forward too. I have two other pieces planned #But im going to release things one by one as I make then instead of saving them to post multiple at a time I think. #Esp since I have less time lately. Anyways #I have another needlepoint that says pluto because I've been loving that word. It's so fun to say #It's in a delft blue colour in a different font. It'll probably be a belt cover #Idk who would want something that says pluto on it but I'll throw it out there for any planet and roman mythos fans lol #Okay enough rambling. I've been going through it. As always. My work has been falling behind though. It's nice to have something to share! #Goodnight ♡

[foxaoxarts]

BEE KISS TOMORR- *dead* /j

If anyone wants to watch me drawing this like a little victorian child then the timelapse is below the cut 🤣

(FLICKER WARNING. It's all through out so be careful!👍 )

#RWBY #Bumbleby #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Foxarts #YOUR HONOR I HATE THEM (that's a lie actually) #I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS FOR 3(?) DAYS NOW AND I'M SICK #Technically this doesn't contain spoilers but let me know if I should add the tag! #In reality I think cloud scene will happen episode 7-ish BUT being delusional is what being a bee fan is all about- #This is the first time I've actually tried drawing a kiss sooooo hope it turned out ok xDD #I am the one who looks away when anyone kisses for more than 2 seconds so. #Kisses aren't very photogenic that's all I'll say (I had 3 tutorials open and 5 references pulled up) #This was so messy- I forewent line art because I hate it and I thought it wouldn't be bad to just clean up the sketch. I was kind of right. #Watching back the recording is funny because I've always known I'm disorganized but just watching it play out is hilarious. #Enjoy my little notes and doodles 😌😌 #They're so soft I want to scream. #I SURE HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYTHING 😭 #Risking my livelihood for these stupids since 2020 *strikes pose* #Anyways that's enough of my rambling. #HAVE A NICE DAY Y'ALL!!

[y-akkun]

he's happy and nothing bad ever happens to him

#Tachihara Michizou #Michizou Tachihara #BSD Tachihara #BSD #BSD Fanart #Bungo Stray Dogs #Bungo Stray Dogs Fanart #digital art #digital colored sketch #colored sketch #digital sketch #artkkun #i was on vacation on his bday so i wasn't able to draw anything for it lol;;;; #anyway that new ep huh? #i havent watched it yet but i've seen ppl's reactions LOL #have a happy tachihara to cope <3 #wanted to do more rendered coloring but well #1. im tired and 2. i felt kinda guilty coloring this when i have a comm to work on LOL #im too tired to sketch more tho so mindless coloring was all i could do </3 #okay enough rambling in the tags akdhawk

[cerise-on-top]

Requesting gn reader wanting to go to a wreck room Valeria, Ghost, Gaz, and Laswell 🙏

I hope your little break was good! Hope you're doing okay, have a wonderful day and take as much time as you need! Love your writing btw ✨️

Hey there! My break was well needed, I got really sick during it as well, unfortunately! But oh well! I wrote the request today already since it's the only one in my inbox right now! Hope what I wrote is alright, I've never heard of wreck rooms before, we don't have those where I live!

Going to a Wreck Room with Gaz, Ghost, Valeria and Laswell

Gaz: He has definitely heard of those, but has never had enough pent up anger to actually go to one, it never particularly interested him. He breaks enough stuff as it is during work, accidentally or not, so he’s seen his fair share of broken wood, broken TVs, broken monitors. But when you ask him to go to one with you he won’t say no, thinking the idea to be very interesting for a date. If this is something you wanna do, then sure, but he’d have to get used to the idea of willingly breaking something that isn’t just a bottle. Gaz likes everything in order, and very much not broken when he can. His weapon of choice would be a crowbar, they don’t seem like much but they’re deadly enough to do some real damage. He’s used them before, he knows how to handle one well. However, his second choice would be a bowling pin since the idea of bashing in a printer with one seems hilarious to him. Once inside, he’ll go for the bottles first. While he won’t outright use his crowbar, opting for simply throwing them onto the ground first, he’d love to play baseball with you using some of them if you chose a baseball bat. Lets out a whistle if you actually manage to hit the bottle and break it. Loves just throwing stuff at you, but will ask you for your baseball bat at some point since he, too, wants to use a cassette as a ball. He always likes to think himself as an efficient man, but he has far too much fun breaking everything to be such. Loves taking turns with you while beating up the poor printer. He pries it open, you beat the everloving shit out of it. His one goal inside is to do a bottle flip and then hit said bottle, he just loves all the shards left behind. While a rage room may not do too much for him in regards to letting out anger, he does have a lot of fun and will ask you to come here again when you’re particularly mad about something.

Ghost: Oh, I can assure you, he’s been to wreck rooms before. His past was anything but pleasant, he’s had to deal with violent thoughts and sought an outlet for such. He’s since forgotten those exist as he’s calmed down quite a lot. So when you bring up the idea of going to a rage room, he’ll chuckle, but will comply. The memories that come back aren’t particularly happy, but as long as you get an outlet, that’s alright. He’d go for a baseball bat since they’re easy to handle but still very destructive. Considering Ghost is a very strong guy, he could break just about anything with just a few hits. He’ll watch you at first, maybe stand behind you as you beat a few picture frames, but gets to work soon enough himself. He wouldn’t even need to use his bat to dismantle a printer, but he uses it anyway. His strikes seem rather calculated. It isn’t as much fun to him as it is to Gaz, but he enjoys it anyway, especially if you seem to be having a lot of fun. If you struggle with breaking something rather big then he’ll push you aside and show you how it’s done by a professional. He picks up whatever large item it is, throws it onto the ground with a lot of strength, and then beats it up. Yes, he does simply want to show off, that’s all there is to it. He’s a big and strong guy, he could and would kill any printer for you. Even if he does also really like breaking the bottles. The shards on the ground are somewhat satisfying to look at. A bit unnerving since broken shards usually mean all kinds of danger, but still satisfying in a situation like this. As mentioned before, he’s calm throughout it all, and if you didn’t know any better, then you’d say his trained killer instincts are shining through. He isn’t particularly loud either, it’s somewhat impressive, and kind of scary. It’s a small glimpse into how effective he is as a soldier. Comment on it, and he’ll tell you that you have nothing to worry about. For the most part you don’t, but it’s quite obvious that he’s a dangerous man. However, he’s also a gentleman, so he’ll be the one to pay for the experience. He seems unchanged for the most part afterwards, but the slight grin on his face doesn’t exactly escape you.

Valeria: She’s always wanted to go to one ever since she learned of their existence, but never had the time to do so. Valeria is a temperamental woman, she has lots and lots of pent up anger she needs an outlet for. She shows it when she’s annoyed, but that’s not even half of what she’s feeling on a normal day. However, she does need to show that she’s in charge, otherwise all those people around her wouldn’t respect her. Her face would light up a bit as you make the suggestion, reminding her of her wish to see one someday. As soon as she has time, you can be certain you’ll be going to a rage room together. Her weapon of choice would likely be a sledge hammer. They’re heavy, they’re not that easy to use, but she needs you to know that she’s a strong and capable woman who can wield such a thing with ease. The bottles, cassettes, plates are just the warm up, her eyes are on the price: A car in the middle of the room. It wouldn’t have been her first time thrashing one in its entirety, but usually she’s more subtle about it, if she’s doing it herself. She’ll leave all the smaller stuff to you, but you can join her in breaking the car once you’re done with throwing mice at TV screens. She’s very violent about it, there’s no thought on how she’s going to break everything, she just does it. Her sledge hammer will hit the car in quick succession with as much force as she can muster. Her eyes show just the smallest glimpse of insanity that she keeps under wrap otherwise. No one would ever see her like this, so this is a sign of trust for her. By the time she’s done the car will be unrecognizable, just scraps lying about everywhere in the room. Panting a bit, with her arms sore from the weight, she’d turn to you and give you a dangerous grin. Don’t take it the wrong way, she’s just satisfied, that’s all. Valeria may not be the tallest woman out there, but there’s a lot of strength behind her blows, so don’t underestimate her. Afterwards she’ll pay as well and already make plans for the next time you’ll be coming here. It won’t become a common occurrence, but you will find yourself here again every once in a while. As a reward for bringing up the idea, Valeria will pay for dinner as well.

Laswell: She’ll turn down the idea at first, simply not interested. Breaking things just because you’re angry is said to be as effective as drinking alcohol when you’re sad. Laswell prides herself in barely having broken anything throughout her life, and she’d like to keep it that way. If you really wanna go to a wreck room, then why not take your friends there with you? You’ll have to be really annoying about it for a prolonged amount of time before she finally humors you with your little idea. But she’s still not very enthusiastic about it. Maybe, just maybe, if you’re lucky the day you’ll be going there will have been a rough day for Laswell and she’ll, ironically enough, break some more stuff while she’s there due to something having gone wrong. Laswell would likely go for something simple, either a bat or a golf club. While she would, at first, opt for watching you as well, eventually she will hit some glass bottles with her weapon of choice. Then she’ll do nothing for a while again, and afterwards she’ll hit something again. This goes on and on until she’s finally had enough of all the waiting and smashes the nearest mannequin she can find. You seem to be having fun, and an hour can be long if you’re just waiting for it to be over. Besides, the money would have been wasted if she didn’t smash anything. It’s not as fun to her as it is to Valeria or Gaz, but she’ll do it anyway. It’s a nice outlet if you really wanna be violent for once, but it’s not particularly for her. However, if you ask her to help you with breaking some of the wind chimes, then she’ll help you out a bit. She doesn’t do flurries of blows, she takes a glance at the object, figures out where its weak points are as quickly as possible, and strikes there. The quicker the object falls apart, the more accomplished she can feel. Laswell isn’t the youngest anymore, but her mind is still as sharp as ever. Once you’re done, she’ll thank you and politely tell you that this was nice, but she won’t bring up the idea of going there again on her own. While it may be easier to convince her to go from here on out, she won’t always immediately say yes. She still isn’t the biggest fan of breaking stuff just because you’re mad or want to.

#cod #cod x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #I've been playing baldur's gate 3 as of late and holy heck it's such a good game I can't recommend it enough #my poor friend needs to always hear my ramblings about it but apparently he wants to play it as well now! big w for me! #I've also been wanting to play the OG MW games since I own the first and second one so I'm gonna do that during the weekend #but I also wanna play Madness Combat again since I do still love it and someone asked about it yesterday #I'm also considering uploading what I've written for MC and making a new masterpost for it #It wasn't much I wrote but there's a bit there for it regardless #thinking of becoming a multi fandom blog #I don't usually get as many requests anyway so I'm sure it's not too bad of an idea! #I'm also thinking of going back to my roots and writing for OFF again since it's a really good game but I'm not sure! so yeah #much to consider this time around! But if nothing else I wanna write for MC again! #You people have no idea just how much I adore White Hank! She's my wife and I love her ❤️

[miscling]

quirky role thoughts.

something's got me thinking about how i love breaking expectations in kink roles, in a way that's kinda subconscious and automatic. like every so often i pop out a post that's like that without thinking. a kink but with a surprise twist that completely changes the dynamic.

like, i'm leaning into mommysub things. i'm kind, nurturing, loving, caring, but also totally submissive to my kiddos, free for them to use in whatever way they need because i can't say no to them. i might have the role of mommy, but i'm subservient to their needs.

my goddess thoughts were all about the goddess serving her people, blessing them and letting them use her in whatever way they needed, because a goddess should be useful to her people. when the people worship and pray, they use her holy body.

my drone programming is an unusual mix of code that gives me a unique personality matrix. i like custom programming on top of my custom OS. having users, a sysadmin, or developers working with my OS and writing their own code for it.

as a catgirl, i'm a stray. i want an owner, but like, my actual perception of cats is that someone doesn't own them so much as the cat owns them. my 'owner' feeds and plays with me, but i'm still my own creature - just like most kitties if we're being honest.

as a ditz, i kinda find a lot of bimbo stuff missing me because i like being... well not smart, but wise. i love the idea of the hyper-competent ditz. slutty, nice, and dumb, but is an absolute genius in their special interest focuses.

when playing with puppygirls, i really like the idea of having a working dog rather than a pet. i'm not dommy enough to really know what i'm thinking there. a working dog that is trained to care for me and provide for me, actually controlling me through its training.

my funniest trait is being a masochist (and ticklee) who is super cheerful about wanting people to play with and hurt me. i'm like, cheerful about suggesting my tops can go further and do more. not in a bratty way, but in a playful encouraging way.

so the pattern is kinda like, being submissive and usable (like i am so so so submissive and obedient), but also kinda autonomous? maybe it's about confidence and being assured of my own worth? or maybe i have a bit more of a forward personality, despite having no interest in taking leading roles?

i still want a dominant to take charge and lead me, to control me, to decide for me, but i think there's many ways of expressing that, and i like ones that break expectations.

it's definitely an unusual way to be subby, for sure, but no less valid or interesting than other kinds of subs. and somewhat unexpected compared to some of the more traditional expressions of those dynamics.

i'm curious what other people think!

#miscling rambles #i'm maybe processing some things #i've been trying to work out what i want lately #because at the moment i'm not playing as much as i'd like #anyway that's enough rambling

[pallanophblargh]

You know what the worst feeling I've been having lately is? Wanting more than anything to get back into Actual Art again but finding a sudden anxiety that stops me. Even if I'm still as capable as I was, it's the mental block. It's why I've all but kept commissions closed for this whole time: this overwhelming fear of letting people down. Especially in times as troubled as these, where money is tight, and patience is thin. I've always been blessed with such patient and considerate commissioners, but I would hate to test people because of my malfunctioning brat of a brain.

I just wish it came to me as easily as it did before the massive burnout/medication. But it's up to me to come up with my own motivation. And it's ME.

Anyway. Thanks as always for sticking around despite... all of this. I'll get back on the horse soon.

#text post #april rambles #it's stupid because I WANT to do it #but even wanting to do things doesn't trick my jerkass brain #the meds helped some things and fucked other things #I'm still trying to reshape my relationship with watercolor #I haven't touched it enough and yet I'm trying to learn more #which sounds dumb #but so is anxiety am i right? #so i've been poking linocut because i don't feel bad being awful or unskilled at it or whatever #it's no pressure #and I'm disproportionately afraid of pressure now #which is something the medication can't fix #now if only I could purchase motivation and courage #I'm just so worried I'll disappoint people forever #you know how vicious cycles are #anyway i'm gonna get things done one way or another

[chronic-cynic]

I know everyone wants a Solitaire movie (and so do I) but I honestly think they'd fuck it up beyond anyone's imagination.

#heartstopper already make me... cringe #obviously i think it's still good queer (specifically gay) representation and that people are allowed to like it #i know many people defend both the show and the comics saying that it's realistic and not cringe #but i think they are cringe #and i also think that's 200% okay and even necessary #i mean #straight people have their over the top sickeningly sweet romances #and i think heartstopper fits that category but for queer kids #it's nice to have a broad variety of queer (in this case only gay but let's not get into how media hates sapphics/lesbians) representation #i am also not the target audience for the comics or the show #i read the comics a while ago and liked it then #probably because i was like 15 #but i've grown out of it #to be fair #solitaire is also a little cringe #but it's my cringe #anyway #enough rambling about my opinions on the comic and show #i think they would fuck up this hypothetical movie because they already fucked up her character in the show #the actor is great and all but why the fuck would cast someone so old #and 'take care of him or you die' #what?? #the script is beyond evil #but man do i want more solitaire content #tori spring #solitaire alice oseman #solitaire #cynic.txt

[intheorangebedroom]

Good morning, Orange besties 🧡

How are you all doing on this fine whatever-the-fucking-day-it-is?

I'm taking a leaf out of my wise and darling Cee's (@fuckyeahdindjarin) book to let you all know that, even though I've been back since Sunday, it's been very difficult to ease back into real life. Who would have guessed that spending a week with your besties lying on beautiful beaches, eating good food, laughing your tits off, reading actual books and daydreaming about the Pilot would be that challenging to come back from, huh? Unbelievable.

ANYHOO. I've got a lot of backlogged tags, reblogs, comments, posts (I love you all SO DAMN MUCH) to go through, and I'm not even going to mention irl chores and work (the nerves on these things), nor will I address tybtm's next chapter which is coming along at fucking SNAIL PACE 🤯🙃

So thank you all so very much for your patience while I sort my shit out 🧡

#no but seriously #it's not even the beaches and food #it's the safe bubble of love and attention and kindness from my friends #i think i've received more compliments in a week than i have my entire life #i know that's exactly what i write about #but i had never experienced it myself to that extent #so i couldn't actually imagine how much one can THRIVE while surrounded by people who love them and care for them and EXPRESS IT WITH WORDS #the best (worst) is that we more or less all felt the same #except for the odd friend who's smart enough to get what she needs from life (and her partner) #anyway i'm rambling #all this to say: #that's what i wish for you all my darling orange besties #to receive as much love as i did this past week #and to THRIVE #and i'm here to give it to YOU 🧡 #and now off to work