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alabastertouch · 7 years

Text

Spitting Fire

Genre: Fluff, a li’l pinch of angst

Characters: Kim Hanbin x Reader; iKON members

Warning/s: None

Summary: When you showed Hanbin everything you got, he loathed you... Not only are you the best, but because he’s undeniably attracted to you.

A/N: OKAY, you guys, don’t do that old trick wherein you’re being mean to the one you like bc that is not nice, okay? Don’t be like Hanbin in this fic (lol what a disclaimer) but ANYWAY ENJOY THIS BLURB

Also so so so late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANBIN YO THE BEST MAN I WUV YOU DUDe (it so many weeks late yay ANYW)

I’m back and not sick anymore let me make it up hajshajhaj

“Y/N!” Hearing Jaewon’s calls to you, you turn around and face him. Jaewon had been one of the best companion of yours throughout your training, and you are delighted that finally, he had reached his dreams of debuting.

“Hey! Can you sign my album?” You teased him with a cheeky smile, making him a blushing mess.

“Shut up!” He messes your hair. “Anyway, did you hear the latest?”

“I’ve been stuck in the dungeon, so I guess I haven’t,” you try to poke fun at the dark reality of your fate as a rapper in this agency. “What is it?”

“Hanbin’s getting a solo debut after Bobby’s,” Jaewon crosses his arms. “I heard the president’s already listing trainees who can potentially feature in one of his songs.”

You sure can wish that you might be the one to be chosen, since it is an opportunity you will never ever pass. Although you know Sua has a bigger chance of being the featured artist, as she has more exposure than you, you cling on the sliver of hope. But then again, before hope was handed to you, it had already been taken away.

By Kim Hanbin himself.

“Well, congrats to that person, then,” you snort as you rush back to the training room.

“Hey, hey! What’s with the negativity?” Jaewon follows you, curious about your sudden displeasure.

“Hanbin hates me, dude,” you remind him in case he had forgotten.

“He doesn’t hate you!” Jaewon objects to your statement.

“He does,” you retort. “If rejecting everything I’ve written for their team isn’t enough, then what more proof am I still looking for?”

“Look, I’m sure Hanbin doesn’t hate you. Maybe you just got off the wrong foot?” Jaewon justifies Hanbin’s odd behavior towards you. You’ve tried to observe him when he interacts with your fellow same-aged friends Hayi and Jennie, but he treats them quite well and have no intention between each other.

“I sure do hope so,”

“Hey, congratulations!” Sua greets you quite energetically so early in the morning. “President chose you to feature in Hanbin oppa’s song.”

And you die a little inside.

When you finally receive the memo, you reluctantly enter the studio Hanbin usually works at, a.k.a his territory.

“Excuse me,” you sneak your head in a little, seeing the other six members of iKON writing intensely. When they see your face, they let out a sigh of relief.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” Jinhwan is the first to ask.

“Oh, I got this,” you show them the memo that gratifies your feature in Hanbin’s solo album. “Where’s Hanbin sunbae?”

“He went to the restroom,” Bobby responds. “Just a heads up, Y/N, he’s not in a good mood.”

“When was he in a good mood?” You snort out impulsively, earning low chuckles from the others.

“Oh yeah,” and when you hear the nasal voice from behind you, you know you are thoroughly fucked.

And not in a good way... Not at all.

Hanbin takes his place on the office chair, scrutinizing you with his taunting looks. He looks ultimately sleepless, and you keep yourself from telling him to go to sleep first. He turns back to his computer, ignoring your existence.

“Why did it have to be you?”

Okay, rude. Don’t sleep then.

“Hanbin, where are your manners?” Yunhyeong reprimands like a mother.

“Where is hers?” Hanbin speaks without looking at you.

“Okay!” Bobby jumps up this time, intervening before you tell Hanbin something you might later on regret. “We’ll leave you two to maybe... warm up with each other, okay?” The male nods energetically, urging you to be the bigger person.

“Don’t kill each other,” Junhoe cackles before the last of them leaves the room.

And now, you’re stuck with tiger Kim Hanbin.

You sit down on the couch, waiting for Hanbin to finish whatever it is that he is doing. You patiently bob your head along to the music coming out of the speakers. After all, his perfection takes time.

But two hours in and he hasn’t even looked at you once.

You take the whole ‘him being superior than you’ thing, but you’ve gotten enough of this treatment.

“Uh, sunbae,” you clear your throat, making him turn around with that same scary look on his face. “What are we writing?”

“Nothing,” he puts you down as quickly as you had asked. “I’ve already gotten everything written down. All you have to do is to rap.”

And your mouth opens, aghast at his reply. You are here for a reason... and that is to cooperate with Hanbin in creating the song. Together.

How can you feature without familiarizing yourself with the work?

You stand up despite feeling small under his hard eyes.

“With all due respect, sunbae,” you emphasize the word that makes him the higher one in the hierarchy, but you know you’re about to lash out on him without any ounce of respect. “I am not about to suffer this maltreatment you are handing me. I am here to be featured in a song that I should help write. If I’m going to be continued treated this way,” you tear the memo you have received in half, making his eyes grow wider. “Look for someone else.”

You stomp out of the recording studio knowing the consequences of your irate actions. Tomorrow, points might be slashed off you for the evaluations, and you may be kicked out of future opportunities to feature in other artists’ songs either. Worst, your debut with an unknown date might either happen after so many years, or never at all.

You are not getting any younger, and all your same-aged friends have either debuted already or are in preparation to go on stage. You can’t bear any more delays.

But no, your pride won’t be stepped on.

Jaewon’s laughter is not helping out your situation at all.

“Gee, thanks for the support, asshole,” you chug down your water after three rounds of dance practice.

“But hey, stay positive!” He belatedly cheers you up. “Who knows? He might still want you to feature in his song. After all, he had a say in who should be in his album.”

“Dude, he legitimately told me ‘Why did it have to be you?’ with those stupid eyes!” You impersonate Hanbin’s voice poorly.

“You’re rude as well, you know!” Jaewon points out. “If you two like each other, you don’t have to be like kindergarteners about it.”

“Hey!” You stop him from saying more. “I don’t like Kim Hanbin!”

“Uh-huh. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?” You just roll your eyes, opting to ignore Jaewon’s jokes.

“Y/N!” You hear Hanbin’s booming voice calling you over. “Recording studio. NOW.”

You raise a brow questioningly, wondering what Hanbin wants to do now. You follow anyway, not wanting anyone else to suffer his wrath now. It’s enough that he’s mad at you, and you wouldn’t want it to rub on to others.

Since he called you in, he hadn’t talked to you, and you are willing to be that girl who’s looking for death and will have to ask Hanbin what the hell is the problem with his attitude.

“Did you call me here to watch you be angry or--”

“You and Jaewon hyung,” he asks, not looking up at you. “Are you two dating?”

You can’t help but be horrified by his sudden question.

“No!” You sound defensive, but really, you and Jaewon? It’s like putting YG and JYP in one room. You’re friends and all... like siblings even, but you disagree on so many things to even think of being together.

“Really?” Hanbin finally shuts his notebook close, returning his intimidating gaze to you. “Why are you two always together?”

“Because we’re friends? I’m allowed to have friends of all genders, Hanbin. Why are you so curious, anyway?”

“Because I like you,” and Jaewon was right all along. The little shit might have known already and thought it would be funny to string you alone in his own sitcom ensemble.

“Oh, really?” You cross your arms, disbelieving his words. “You were so rude, you know? Screaming and lashing out. You really have to fix your attitude.”

“Why are you suddenly preaching me? Stop spitting fire, Y/N!”

“Oh, no. You’re not the only rapper here, Kim Hanbin.” And he looks competitive when you say it, eyes ablaze with flames.

“Who else?” He challenges.

“Your girlfriend.”

And his face is now the color of a wildfire.

#netkon #hanbin scenario #b.i scenarios #ikon scenarios #hanbin #hanbin angst #hanbin fluff #hanbin fanfic #ikon angst #ikon fluff #kim hanbin #kim hanbin fluff #kim hanbin angst #kim hanbin scenarios #b.i. x reader #hanbin x reader

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solastia · 7 years

Text

Faith | 2

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Pairing: Namjoon X Reader

Word Count: 3,569

Genre & Warnings: Fluff & Smut....and ANGST. I’M SORRY.

Notes: This chapter seems a bit fragmented because it takes place over the period of a year. I wanted to show how good and cute they were together.

“Where are your pants?”

You glance up from your movie to see Namjoon had let himself in again. This was slowly becoming the norm over the past month that you’d been seeing each other, and you found that it didn’t bother you in the slightest. In fact, you were pretty sure it gave you those warm, tingly, butterfly feelings everyone always went on about.

“I’m sorry, sir, but in this household, we follow a no pants rule. The only exception is pajamas or if we have to wear pants to leave the apartment.” You pat the empty seat next to you on the couch and watch as he kicks off his shoes and pants before dropping into it, obviously exhausted.

Another habit he’d developed over the past month was practically living in your apartment. He still went back to his place from time to time, mostly to get more clothes. However, he always came back here, and it was always the first place he’d go after work. You were already living like an old married couple, and you hadn’t even started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend yet.

“Hard day?” You lean in and peck the back of his neck as you massage his shoulders. He moans loud and dramatically, leaning into your touch.

“Yeah. Construction is no joke.” He mumbles, looking down at his hands.

Following his gaze, you see several blisters and chipped nails. You jump up and run to the bathroom, coming back with a bottle of aloe vera gel. Grabbing his large hand, you begin to slowly massage the gel in, taking care around the blisters. Namjoon sighed and leaned into the back of the couch with a small smile.

“You’re too good to me, baby.” He whispers softly, and you smile up at him, shrugging.

“It’s the least I can do. Maybe someday, when you’re a rich and famous rapper, you’ll think of me whenever you get some fancy Swiss Masseuse.”

“Baby, when I’m a rich and famous rapper, we’ll be getting those fancy ass couple massages with the rocks.”

You can’t help but internally squeal every time he says “We.” He uses it so often, especially when he’s talking about the future, and you wonder if he even realizes how it sounds.

You were about to respond when you were interrupted by a tiny bark.

Namjoon shot up and looked around, before looking at you in confusion.

“What was that?”

You grin sheepishly, before going over to the box that was next to your television. Pulling out the gray pitbull puppy, you use his little paw to wave at Namjoon.

“Hello, large human. I am still unnamed male puppy. Pleased to meet you.”

“Why do we have a dog? We didn’t have a dog before I left.”

“Yeah, well, get with the times. Things change. Ugh, you’re just another old guy who doesn’t wanna accept that the world is changing.”

“1, You’re older than me. 2, You still haven’t told me why we now have a dog.”

“You know Mike, the homeless guy that I always give my cans to? When he came to pick them up today, he had this little guy with him. He thought I might be able to take him in. Apparently, he was in a trash can. Like, a really big one. Meaning someone tried to literally throw him away.”

“Holy shit, that’s fucked up! Gimme.” Namjoon reaches his arms out for the wriggling puppy, placing him on his chest as he leans back.

“What’s up little guy? I’m your Dad.”

“You’re his what?”

“What? Did you think I’d let you be a single parent?” He answers without even looking at you, petting the dog behind the ears.

You scoff at him. He really was adorable.

“We have to give him a badass name, babe. Like, Tupac, or Nas.”

“Does it have to be a rapper?” You whine, knowing that you’ll end up giving in anyway. Anything to see the dimples.

“It doesn’t have to, but there are some cool names there. What about Snoop? You like Snoopy, I like Snoop Dogg.”

You smile and kiss his forehead, dodging the puppy’s tongue coming after your face.

“It’s perfect.”

It was your two month anniversary. You were all set to surprise Namjoon with a nice romantic dinner tonight, maybe have some wild and crazy sex, and just have a wonderful day. Only, now you were walking home, dejected because you’d just lost your job.

You’d been working as a waitress at a little restaurant for almost three years. They’d been promising you more hours for months, only to finally tell you today that they just weren’t making enough to have as many employees as they did. So, you were let go, along with three other people.

You were so worried about what you were going to do. You didn’t have any savings because that was damn near impossible to do when you live paycheck to paycheck. Unless you found another job in the next two days, you weren’t going to have enough to pay rent, let alone feed yourself or Snoop.

As you walk up to your apartment door, you can hear Snoop on the other side of it, sniffing and scratching at the door in his excitement to see you. You hoped Namjoon would be willing to take him for a bit if you had to leave your apartment.

You open your door and Snoop starts jumping around you in excitement. The smells of Chinese food surround you, rap blaring from the kitchen as Namjoon is putting the contents of the containers onto plates. There was even a big bouquet of flowers sitting on the table. He looks up, smiling widely at you, and you melt a little. This was just so...domestic.

“Hey there, Baby Girl. I had THE BEST show today. We sold out every ticket to get in the club. To see ME! I’m going to perform again next weekend, so make sure you get some time off. I want you to come see me so you can be proud of your man.” He’s talking so fast and he’s so excited. You really don’t want to ruin his mood, but his talk of taking time off reminds you of your dilemma. You watch as Namjoon notices your tears and his smile dims, making you feel guilty. He rushes over and grabs your cheeks between his large hands.

“What’s wrong, Y/N? Did you not want me to let myself in when you’re gone? I’m sorry. I just wanted to surprise you.” He looks so worried and embarrassed, you feel bad for freaking him out.

“No, it’s fine. I just had a hard day, and this was a nice sight to come home to.”

“What happened?” He asked softly, picking you up and settling you into his lap as he sits on the couch. You lean in with a sigh, tucking your head under his chin.

“They let me go. Now I’m going to have to...I don’t even know. I need to find another job as quickly as possible or I won’t be able to pay rent. I might end up having to have you keep Snoop with you for a while, while I figure something out. It’s times like these I wish I had decent parents. Although, Alan might let me crash with him for a little while.”

Namjoon starts twirling a finger into your hair, playing with a curl.

“OR, I could officially move in and pay the rent myself until you find something.”

You lift your head to look at him, confused.

“What? Joonie, I wasn’t asking for money. I don’t need you to do that.”

“You don’t want me to be here?” His hurt tone had you rolling your eyes.

“Namjoon, I was going to ask you to move in with me today, after a nice romantic dinner and all that jazz. But, now it would basically be you moving in to support me, and I’m not comfortable with making you do that.”

“You’re not “Making” me do anything. I offered...no...I told you, I’m moving in. You already said you were planning on asking me anyway. I’m here all the time, use your water, eat your food. It’s about time I pay you back. Besides, what kind of a Father would I be to take Snoop away from his Mother? Not to mention, I’d have the added benefit of having 24/7 access to your body.” He wraps his arms around your stomach, kissing the side of your neck.

“Woman, do you not understand that your happiness is my number one priority? Damn, I know it’s only been two months, but I love you.” The blush on his face contrasted so cutely with the forceful way he declared it.

You sigh, leaning back into him.

“I love you too, Namjoon.”

“Who the fuck puts peanut butter in the fridge?” You mumble to yourself, pulling out the container you were looking for and slamming it on the counter. Now you’d have to wait for the peanut butter to soften up before you could make a sandwich. And you were so fucking hungry. You’d come home from your new job at the grocery store, tired and starving since you’d not had your lunch. All you wanted to do was have a damn sandwich and go to sleep.

You and Namjoon had been living together now for five months. While most of the time it was great, since he was sweet and thoughtful, there were moments where you wanted to choke the life out of him. Like when he snored so loud he’d wake you from a deep sleep. Or how he NEVER changed the toilet roll. OR PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN THE FRIDGE.

Grabbing the offending item, you stomp into your bedroom, where a corner had been changed into a little work area for his music. Two pairs of eyes look over at you as you stop in front of them.

“Uh oh, sis is on a rampage.” Your brother Alan play whispered to Namjoon, the latter looking more worried. Ever since Alan had come over and discovered that you were dating the local rap legend, he’d been hard to kick out. Now he was constantly here, making music with Namjoon.

“You shut up twerp. And YOU. Properly raised individuals do not put peanut butter in the fridge. I happen to know you were a properly raised individual because I adore your Mother. Do it again and die.” You’re shaking the container in front of Namjoon’s face, while Alan is howling with laughter, falling to the floor.

“I can see who wears the pants in THIS relationship. Oh, wait, no pants rule.”

Namjoon gathers you up, peppering kisses all over your face.

“I’m sorry, baby. I made a sandwich and put it in there without thinking. Forgive me? I love you!”

He even makes apologizing adorable. How does he expect you to stay mad?

“It’s fine. I’m just hungry and now I have to wait for it to get soft.” You mumble, trying to act like you’re still pissed so you don’t look ridiculous for giving in too easy.

He nuzzles his nose in your hair, acting cute.

“You want me to get you something? How about Pho? You love Pho.”

“I do love Pho.” You murmur in a cutesy tone.

“OK, Imma go get my baby some Pho. You stay here and get comfy and look pretty.” He smooches your cheek, before throwing on his jeans and leaving the apartment.

“You guys are disgusting.” Alan huffs, and you throw the container of peanut butter at him.

You stare at the lines on the little stick in your hand. You guys had always been so careful, but apparently not careful enough. You had just taken five of these stupid stick tests, all of them coming up positive. You were pregnant.

You look up as you hear Snoop yapping and noises coming from outside the bathroom. Namjoon, now your boyfriend for one whole year, had just come home.

“BABY! I have some amazing news! Where are you?” Namjoon’s deep voice boomed as he made his way down the hallway.

You quickly put all the sticks in your tampon box, knowing he’ll never look in there. You splash your face with water, trying to calm down before throwing open the bathroom door. Namjoon is on the edge of the bed, changing his clothes and he gives you the biggest smile you’d ever seen on him yet. You swear you’d never seen his dimples look that deep before.

“Y/N, love of my life, my shining star. I have the best news in the whole world. You remember how packed it was at my show last week? Well, apparently there were talent scouts there. From a big ass label! Like, I can’t go into details yet, they said, but one of their rappers rhymes with Rake, ya feel me? And they want ME!! They want us to move to New York and they are going to sign me! Baby, we made it!” Namjoon is literally glowing, and you can’t bring yourself to mention the tests.

“Congratulations, my Joonie. I’ve always had faith in you. I told you that you’d be famous as hell one day.” You force a giggle, not wanting him to catch on that anything was wrong. And truly, you WERE happy for him. No one else in the world deserved this more.

“Let’s celebrate, Joonie. I’ll take you out for steaks!” You declare, shoving yourself into some jeans and dragging him out.

You watch him over dinner, excitedly talking about his plans for the future (with a full mouth), and you slowly start to realize...you could never tell him. This was his chance. With his level of talent, you were sure he would be at the top in no time. You were going to have to set him free so he could do achieve his dreams, without worrying about you or what was soon to come.

When you get home, you climb onto Namjoon’s lap as he lounged on the bed.

“Namjoon? I need you to make love to me.”

I’m going to need to savor this for God knows how long.

“Happy to oblige, miss.” He jokes, pulling you in for a soft, slow kiss.

You try to memorize every movement he makes with his plush lips. The angle of his head, how he teases the seam of your lips with his tongue to ask for entrance, the way sucks your bottom lip before he pulls away to smirk at you. He moves down to your neck, kissing and sucking on the spot that sports a hickey 90% of the time because he loved it. You silently wondered if it would be too cheesy and weird if you took a picture of it later. Your last love bite.

Namjoon pulls off your shirt and expertly unhooks your bra (Heh), throwing both off the side of the bed. He cups your breasts with his huge hands, gently rubbing your nipples with his thumbs.

“Babe, have your boobs gotten bigger? They feel heavier, and like, the nipples look darker.” He’s staring intently at your breasts and you scramble to think of an answer. You should have thought about the fact that Namjoon knew your body so well by now.

“Uh, maybe a little? I’ve been doing lots of chest exercises lately. That might be it. Or it could almost be time for my period.”

You wished.

He shrugged and leaned over to suck your nipple into his mouth, laving it slowly with his tongue. You sigh and lean your head down to kiss the top of his head, smelling the scent of his citrus shampoo. He works his way down, stroking at your core and finding it already dripping wet. He maneuvers you to lay down and climbs over you. Just as he’s about to enter you, you decided that you want to top, so you push him down and hover over his hard cock.

You look at his face while he’s watching you. Even after doing this countless times over the past year, he still looks at you like he’s amazed every time. His eyes are blown out and hazy with lust and adoration. He looks down as you hover above him, and his eyes follow when you drip all over his cock.

“Fuck, baby, that is so hot. Ride me, yeah?” He bucks up, trying to enter you, but you raise up even higher to avoid him.

“How much do you want me, Joonie? Ah, I am so wet I would just slide right on. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You tease, and you know you shouldn’t, considering how you were going to be breaking up with him in the morning. But you had to know. You had to have this memory of Namjoon wanting you so badly that he’d beg for it.

“Yes, I’d like that. God, I can feel how warm you are like that. Please, Y/N. Please, baby, just ride me. God, I want you so much. I’ll always want you.” He moaned, and you watched as more precum flowed from his tip. Knowing that he liked subbing too would have been useful information to know earlier, you mused.

Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you slide down his cock slowly, relishing the stretch even though he’d been in you so often. Balancing yourself with your hands on his chest, you ride him, staring into his eyes. You watch as his cheeks start to redden and his breathing hitches. He’s getting close, so you speed up your hips, sliding up and down at a brutal pace.

“Oh God, I’m going to cum Y/N. Fuck, yes Baby, like that.” He grabs your hips to help, making you go even faster. You can feel yourself getting closer. With a shout of your name, you feel Namjoon fill you up, bucking hard into you. You let yourself fall apart, cumming with him. You fall onto his chest, shaking and sobbing. You bury your face into his neck, and you were sure he felt the tears. He just pets your back in large circles, letting you calm down while his dick slowly softened enough to slide out.

“It felt that good, huh? Wow, we’re amazing.” He cooed, and you snorted into his neck, before giving it a small kiss, breathing in the scent of post sex, sweaty Namjoon. With a sigh, you slide off of him onto your side of the bed, and he cleans you off with one of the baby wipes that you keep in your nightstand. He tucks you into bed before sliding in himself, pulling you up against his sweaty chest. He falls asleep quickly, the snores that would usually make you want to suffocate him with a pillow suddenly sounding like a lullaby.

“You what?”

Namjoon is staring at you like you’ve lost your mind, and you almost think you have.

“I can’t go with you to New York. I think you should go by yourself. This is the most amazing opportunity for you, Joonie, and I wouldn’t want to mess it up for you. So you go, become the best, and I’ll be here waiting when the time is right.”

“So, wait, are you breaking up with me?” Namjoon’s face is so pale, and you’re so damn heartbroken that you want to vomit.

“Yes. I think it’s for the best.” You whisper, flinching when you hear Namjoon’s indrawn breath.

“You’re not even willing to TRY? I mean, we could even try long distance, if you’re really so set against moving there?” He pleads, hands out and you back away.

“No. I made up my mind. I love you so much, and I want you to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of. This is the best way. I have faith that when the time comes, we’ll come back to each other.” You try to contain the tears that you feel building in your eyes, and you avoid looking at him so he doesn’t see them.

“Y/N, you’re everything I dreamed of.” He whispers, and you sob, running towards the door. You pick up the bag you packed and Snoop’s leash.

“I’ll be staying at my brother’s until you leave. I...I love you Namjoon.”

You close the door behind you and let the tears fall as you hear the sounds of his roars and crashing behind it.

You’re laying on the hospital bed, sore but happy. You hold the bundle in your arms to your nose, smelling the oddly comforting baby smell. You click refresh on the laptop you were balancing on your thighs, happy to see the video that had finally loaded. It was the first music video of RM, the new rap talent the entire country was talking about. You click play, and watch with silent tears as the love of your life performs passionately about lost love, and you tilt the head of the baby to look at the screen.

“Look at that sweetie. That’s your Daddy. Isn’t he handsome?”

The nurse comes in with your paperwork, smiling at the two of you.

“Here you are, just gotta start getting these all filled out. Do we have a name for our little Princess yet?”

You smile down at the little face that already looked so much like her father.

“Her name is Faith.”

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bixbobbynet · 6 years

Text

181024 | My Sweetest Dream

BB: KKT; [1:05AM] kitten I can't sleep ㅠㅠ [1:05AM] please come snuggle me the bright glaring screen blinking back at him didn't help the restless male as he hit the 'send' button, hoping for the yellow '1' beside his messages to disappear as soon as possible; a signal that the other was awake in the other dorm and still willing to give him some late night cuddles. deeming the message not enough, Jiwon rolled over onto his back again and pulled the device near his lips, holding the 'voice message' button to record an annoying whine for his boyfriend to respond to. "yaaaaah~ Hanbinnie.... please come down and snuggle meeeee...."

HB: The last thing he remembers is a Kurzgesagt YouTube video playing beside him as he nods off into blissful slumber. Pitch black and refusing to open his eyes, he suddenly feels very aware of the warmth of his bed and the coolness of the parts of the pillow he hasn’t laid on. Hanbin is completely unaware of the time and reason he’s been awakened, but it only takes another few seconds of silence to start feeling the vibrations of his phone from under him. Reaching down, he realizes that he had slept on the device and wonders if he can simply ignore it. When a third vibration comes, he groans into his pillow and prepares himself for the inevitable blindness of the iPhone screen. Although it’s on night shift, it hurts his eyes nonetheless. ‘Jiwon’. He sloppily clicks his screen using his left hand and accidentally clicks ‘play’ on the voice message—and to his surprise, he was more forgiving than irritated. Hanbin replies through a voice note—however raspy it may sound—in favor of getting his message across quicker. 「 kkt : 0107AM 」 Seriously? ...why can’t you come here instead? I’m not wearing anything anyway.

BB: What comes in next isn't exactly what he expects, but it's not far off from the usual nature of the younger male anyway - they're quite used to inhabiting each other's beds and sharing their personal space, yes - but it's the first time that he's really feeling the lack of Hanbin's presence a lonely one. He can only chuckle lightly at the other's sleep-induced rasp in his whispers, an easy smile creeping into thin lips as he sits up and starts to pull a big hoodie over his head. It smells a little like Hanbin's favourite shampoo, the young rapper always favouring to snuggle in Jiwon's sweaters whenever convenient. It doesn't take him long to shuffle out of the flat and to the other floor, letting himself in with the shared key to be greeted by a washed out darkness, the tiny snores trickling past the thin walls of their bedrooms. His eyes adjust easily as he maneuvers himself around the space to locate Hanbin's room - he trips over far too many stuffed animals but soon enough he's standing over his boyfriend's mattress, watching as the younger stirred awake. "hey," he mumbles, leaning in to nuzzle his cheek. "sorry for waking you..."

HB: Unless Jiwon decides to reply right away or give any sort of indication that he would actually be coming, Hanbin would be free to head on back into dreamland. However, the thought quickly dawns on him and he realizes that he should at least give him the next fifteen minutes to come up. He lazily runs a hand through his hair to allow a bit of a better sight, even in the lampless bedroom. He debates whether or not to sit up but ends up shifting onto his back instead, and is presently facing the door with his eyes fluttered shut. Hanbin doesn’t notice time passing by, and he retains no dreams. At some point, he feels some warmth and the lingering scent of his own shampoo. “Jiwon? —No, it’s okay..” He pushes out in a mumble—immediately moving his position to grant the other some space to rest. Habits die hard, especially in his semi-conscious state. Hanbin gradually finds himself clinging onto the figure in a desperate attempt to warm up—both himself from the exposure and that of his boyfriend. “Are you okay?” He murmurs as he reaches out for his blankets again to thoroughly cover Jiwon.

BB: "yeah, it's me," he whispers, lest anyone else be startled awake due to his intrusion in the dorm, and without resistance slips into the covers to wriggle comfortably beside the other male. Hanbin's skin is warm, despite the bare expanse of his chest, and any other day Jiwon would be all for shamelessly ogling his body, or carefully worshipping his tattoos with butterfly soft kisses. they're far too sleepy for any of that, so he settles for curling a protective arm around the younger's middle, an adoring smile creeping into his lips once Hanbin turns over and tucks himself under Jiwon's chin. It's such a simple feeling, but a powerful one-- he loves nothing more than the sensation of having his boyfriend in his arms, his every little breath tickling at his neck like the cutest kind of sighs. "I'm okay-- are you warm enough? do you need my sweater?" even in his state they're both nothing but concerned for each other, doting and careful in ensuring their comfort. Once the blankets are wrapped tightly around them does he reach up to brush a lazy hand along the soft contours of Hanbin's cheekbones, pulling him into an easy goodnight kiss. "have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

HB: Nothing about the pitch black expanse of the room feels very safe, but he easily gets carried away by the sound of Jiwon’s voice, so he thinks he’s okay. The air conditioner has been on the majority of the day prior, which only adds to the shiver that runs down his spine. “I’m great, darling.” He replies monotonously, although his shy smile says otherwise. It doesn’t take much longer to regain his warmth, shuffling his feet around to tangle up in Jiwon’s. Hanbin uses up whatever energy he has left to cling onto the older male’s figure as he lets out a content noise of approval. He feels Jiwon’s hand grazing his cheek and simply allowing it to happen without interruption. “Mhm,” He breathes out, “you’re beautiful.”

BB: the shiver doesn't get past him, of course, retreating fingers dancing along his spine in an effort to pull him closer, the natural curves of their bodies gravitating towards the other in a hunt for warmth while the silence continues to settle peacefully around them. "mkay, then sweet dreams, kitten," he hums just above a whisper, feeling the steady pulse of Hanbin's heartbeat thrumming under his own even as his slightly colder feet find Jiwon's. suddenly their toes are brushing, but it's so easy, as natural as they've always been, two souls falling into the synchronicity of one. the younger's lips part then, and he watches in awe; loves to see the movement of the soft flesh speaking the most beautiful words he's ever experienced. "... am I? and how so, Kim Hanbin?" his hand slows gradually on his back and he allows the room for thought, nothing interrupting their moment. "tell me how."

HB: A soft yawn carries out of him as he settles in place more comfortably. If it were any other person, it couldn’t possibly be this simple. And for a brief moment, he thinks that he should make it a habit to go over to his boyfriend’s bedroom—just so he can relive this content feeling over and over again. He doesn’t want it to end, even as he whispers ‘goodnight’ like he’s done countless times before, but it truly is a good night. It’s possible that he’s been dazing off every few seconds, because he always only catches a couple words at a time. He hears a question and he hears a name, his name. Then he feels vaguely aware of his hair tickling his ears, so he reaches up to move it. Subsequently, he lets out a sigh. ‘I suppose you won’t let me sleep until I’ve said something.’ He doesn’t know if he’s said it out loud, or it’s stayed in his head. “Your brown eyes seem to twinkle. I see myself in them sometimes, and get lost in them all the same. Your nose crinkles when you laugh, and sometimes you snort, but it’s funny and I like your laugh a lot.” He rambles on like he’s trying to figure out his next song, and his boyfriend is, yet again, the main subject.

BB: even the satiated little sigh that follows Hanbin's yawn reminds him just how much he loves and wants to protect him-- the natural instinct of the sweet whispers that curl around his heartstrings and squeezes in just the right way to keep him ever so infatuated with the younger boy. without thinking he leans in to press a sweet kiss to flat of the other's forehead, nosing carefully along his brow bone and down to his plump, chiseled cheeks. There's a beat of thoughtful silence and for a moment he thinks the dark-haired male has already succumbed to sleep, but eventually the soft, raspy voice does come, and the words that follow bring Jiwon to a whole new turmoil of emotion. He's speechless until Hanbin's words fade into level breaths again, and he finds himself searching for words like his boyfriend hasn't already said the best of them. "I love you," he whispers instead, caressing a thumb across the underside of the other's chin. "You're perfect because you complete me."

-finished-

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latestnews2018-blog · 6 years

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There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Beto O'Rourke's Post-Hardcore Band

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There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Beto O'Rourke's Post-Hardcore Band

Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.

The single greatest thing I learned this week is that Beto O’Rourke, the Texas Democratic challenger to Ted Cruz for his Senate seat, once played bass in a post-hardcore band called Foss with one Cedric Bixler-Zavala on drums. And he kind of went hard? Harder than Mike Huckabee anyway.

If you don’t know Bixler-Zavala’s name, you will not care, and I don’t blame you. But for the small contingent of us who do, it is the single most random thing ever. By far. No competition. HOLY MOLY I’M GETTING EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN. WHAT!?!?

Bixler-Zavala would go on after Foss to become the lead singer of two bands that defined my childhood, the Mars Volta and At the Drive-In, making this a perfect melding of my teenage self and whatever the hell you would call my current state. ― Maxwell Strachan

“Kim’s Convenience”

Between “Crazy Rich Asians” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,” August has been such a landmark month for pop culture featuring three-dimensional portrayals of Asians that there’s a hashtag for it: #AsianAugust. (If you haven’t seen either of those, go do that!)

“Searching,” a thriller starring John Cho, the first Asian-American actor to headline a mainstream, modern movie in that genre, joins the party this weekend before rolling out to more cities next Friday.

And don’t sleep on “Kim’s Convenience,” a Canadian sitcom about a working-class Korean-Canadian family that premiered in 2016 but is now available in the U.S. on Netflix, which added it in July. In between reveling in how wonderful “Crazy Rich Asians” and “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” were, I watched a few episodes last weekend and was immediately hooked. It will definitely be relatable to anyone who comes from an immigrant family. But it also has the classic conventions of any great, slice-of-life family sitcom, with endearing characters and an abundance of irreverent jokes. ― Marina Fang

My Colleague’s Love For “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before”

On the evening of Tuesday, Aug. 17, my colleague and dear friend Claire Fallon watched “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” for the first time. “It fucking wrecked me,” she tweeted of the now-beloved Netflix rom-com. By the time I saw her at work the next morning, Claire had watched “TATBILB” three times already. She seemed… different. There was a twinkle in her eye, a bounce in her step — the unmistakable signs of a woman in love.

Claire confirmed as much with her bombshell story: “Report: I’m in Love With Netflix’s ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,’” and she didn’t stop there. She RTed every article horny for the film’s romantic male lead, Peter Kavinsky, adding commentary like “i am hurting myself every time i watch it and realize he isn’t real.”

Before long, Claire’s husband was drawn into the fold. “They say you should include your partner in your fantasy life so I made my husband watch to all the boys I’ve loved before with me,” she tweeted on Aug. 18, a time she would later describe as “the most romantic weekend” of her life. This marked her fifth viewing of the film and potentially, I foolishly thought, her last.

Claire is now up to 10 viewings and shows no sign of slowing down. On Monday and Tuesday, when she normally live-tweets “Bachelor in Paradise,” Claire instead posted six GIFs of Peter Kavinsky — in a hot tub, on a school bus, smiling all sexy in a bathrobe. Where am I supposed to get my snarky “Bachelor” commentary now, Claire?! Her obsession became my obsession. Thanks to Claire, I now find myself talking incessantly about a movie I haven’t even seen, filtered through the lovesick gaze of my talented co-worker.

“If you’re wondering, i did watch it last night,” Claire slacked me today, unprompted. “I do little else.” If this post was a rom-com, this is the part where I’d declare my love for Claire and suggest that instead of Peter Kavinsky she take notice of the girl working at the desk across from her all along — fave-ing her tweets, offering her goldfish, casually suggesting they open the mail together. But it’s not, and Claire is married and I have more journalistic ethics than that! ― Priscilla Frank

The Greatest Sentence In The History Of Language

This was a bad week ― all weeks, now, are bad ― but at least we were blessed with one of the great sentences in the history of language.

“Suck my dick and balls I’m working at NASA” is a literary delight, nine words strung together so perfectly that there’s no way to misread them or misinterpret the emotion they intend to convey. The person who wrote them, who had the misfortune of directing them toward someone who oversees NASA, apparently lost out on an internship opportunity at the space-exploring government agency. This is a shame, not just because no one should be fired over a tweet but especially because no one should ever be fired after penning such a beautiful tweet.

Homer Hickam, the former NASA engineer who was best known for writing “Rocket Boys” but will now enter history as the man who elicited the greatest piece of writing humankind has ever produced, is apparently helping our glorious author find an even better opportunity in the aerospace field. But the real hope here is that one day our dear friend ascends to the top of NASA, resumes the shuttle program or some other form of space exploration, and paints our new motto on the side of whatever sort of craft eventually finds other forms of life out there, so that our newfound alien friends’ first brush with the English language is the English language in all its glory. And if we’re not going to cure cancer or solve climate change or find aliens or do any of the other cool shit science is probably capable of, we should put all of our resources and expertise into finding a way to project “Suck my dick and balls I’m working at NASA” onto the moon. ― Travis Waldron

Temi Oni’s Latest Poem

I see a lot of my experience in Temi Oni’s latest poem. I walk a lot. I’m catcalled far too frequently. I’m always minding my business. I’ve been hit on by teenagers, men my age, men my father’s age, men his father’s age. I’ve been asked if I suck dick, if I wanna fuck, if I want a dick in my ass and much worse. My initial silence has agitated the men harassing me to the point of them getting too close — just like Oni’s decision to at first ignore the man who asked her if she sucked dick irked him to the point of walking up on her. Like her, I’ve wonder who the fuck these dudes were talking to. I’ve wished my homies or my man was around because I also have a tendency to fly off the handle when I’ve been disrespected. I size the man up. Sometimes I say something smart, ask him who he’s talking to. Sometimes I don’t say anything at all.

And then, it happens: They threaten to rape you. It freezes you. You want to defend yourself, but you don’t know if you physically can. You want him to die because he thinks it’s funny. You’re paralyzed by your anger, but within moments your guts will churn and you’ll start to realize that you may very well be in danger.

You feel bad for this black person. You want better for them. But you also want to feel safe. As Oni says, seeing the police won’t calm you. Black women are constantly put into compromising positions by black men, but the most harrowing is the decision of whether or not we should sacrifice our own safety for theirs by not calling the police. You don’t want a black person to die at the hands of the police, even though they just threatened to harm you. On the flip side, the police often don’t even see black women as worth saving.

In these moments, I often feel a sense of loneliness that is much deeper than me being harassed while I am literally alone. Whenever a black man has walked up to me on the street or tried anything, no one has ever defended me. People can be around and yet no one does anything. At their best, they ignore it. At their worse, they watch. It induces a rage I still can’t explain, a fear I often feel and a pain that seems generational.

It’s the black woman’s Catch-22. ― Julia Craven

“Support The Girls”

Magnolia Pictures

Lisa (Regina Hall) often reminds people that she works at a “family place,” insofar as the Hooters-type watering hole she manages does not allow the predominantly male clientele to harass waitresses. As it turns out, the establishment is family-like, at least in the way its female staffers protect and fortify one another — a fitting theme for a movie titled “Support the Girls.”

Andrew Bujalski’s new film is one of those indies that comes out of nowhere and lights up the screen, the perfect cap to a wobbly summer. When a sports-bar chain comes to town, the forces of capitalism threaten to nullify Lisa’s mom-and-pop restaurant. The hourly-wage sisters who maintain the Texas joint are doing it for themselves, and they’re lucky to have the patient, affable Lisa as a lodestar amid the careless dudes in their paths. Hall gives an Oscar-worthy performance, delicately screaming into the void alongside Haley Lu Richardson (“Edge of Seventeen”) and Shayna McHayle, better known as the rapper Junglepussy. When she’s finally had enough, Lisa tosses a middle finger to the sky, a rare release for someone who’s burdened herself with always needing to keep it together. We’re right there with her. ― Matthew Jacobs

Bowen Yang

Bowen Yang may not be a household name, but you may as well learn it now.

The comedian and Vulture host became a viral sensation this week after a handful of celebrities — including Chrissy Teigen and Sarah Silverman — tweeted out some of his lip-syncing videos.

Yang has been uploading clips of himself lip-syncing various pop culture moments since May. But his most recent video, of him imitating Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in “The Devil Wears Prada” is what has put him on the map. It’s flawless, funny and just a delight to watch. ― Saba Hamedy

Terrific Human Mariska Hargitay

Academy Award-winning actress Hilary Swank got married this week. She looked lovely in Elie Saab with custom Christian Louboutin shoes. Her husband looked dapper. There was a tap dance! The wedding looked like it was ripped right from a high-class Pinterest page. But the best part of Hilary Swank getting married this week was actually Terrific Human Mariska Hargitay.

One of the photos featured in a Vogue gallery on Swank’s wedding shows Hargitay lurking in the background, seemingly holding up Swank’s veil as part of her duties as maid of honor. Swank and Hargitay are known BFFs, but still, could you imagine having Hargitay around on your wedding day? To give you pep talks, or hold up your dress while you pee or dab the sweat off your forehead after dancing too hard? For sure she’d make sure your Champagne hand was never empty. Congratulations on that, Hilary Swank. ― Paige Lavender

The R-Rated Puppet Movie That No One Liked

DAMON DAHLEN/HUFFPOST

Priscilla Frank with her date at a press preview of “The Happytime Murders” on Monday in New York.

Some critics have deemed “The Happytime Murders” the worst movie of the summer, if not the whole year. Other people, like my colleague Priscilla Frank, have called it “the only movie that mattered, and the only one that ever will.” Listen, I probably won’t see the film, but I will scroll through photos of Priscilla and her Puppet Boyfriend performing nose kisses in an empty theater at least a couple times this weekend. You should, too. ― Katherine Brooks

Christian Covington’s Very Lifelike Madden Character

Guess I have to accept the fact that I’m ugly now…. Say it ain’t so Madden…. smh pic.twitter.com/fTcmitdrEw

— Christian Covington (@thetangibleC4) August 22, 2018

Who knew you could play as Shrek on Madden?

The difference between how Texans DE Christian Covington looks in real life and how he looks on Madden is basically the same as photos you post vs. ones you’re tagged in… if people were to draw faces on garbage cans and tag you in them. And like ogres and onions, this thing has layers: Is it so sweaty because it knows it shouldn’t be here? Does it look like a thumb? Is that mean to thumbs? With all the attention this has gotten after Covington poked fun at it, it’s only a matter of time before Madden tries to take this away from us like a bunch of Farquaads. So before that, farewell sweet prince. Like Shrek, may you live happily forever after. ― Bill Bradley

Read last week’s Good Stuff.

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medproish · 6 years

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Moments like this – when the collective rap community gets to see someone’s meteoric rise culminate into that world-stopping drop of a debut album – are rare but they make being a fan worth all the trouble. There’s nothing like being a part of something so big, even if your role is nothing more than perusing the Twitter timeline and going back and forth with followers about your individual opinions. A lot of people didn’t think Cardi B would make it to this moment. Maybe some even hoped that she wouldn’t. The Bronx native made the most seamless transition from social media star, to reality TV star, to rap star in history. But the key word in all of those phases of her career is star. Cardi has a quality and an essence that can’t be confined to any singular path. She’s a natural entertainer and we’re all here to enjoy the ride. That’s why the stakes for her debut album Invasion of Privacy are some of the highest in recent rap history.

The question now is, is Invasion of Privacy actually good? We’d been witnesses to Cardi’s growth with her Gangsta Bitch Music mixtape series, as she worked through the growing pains of finding her sound. It’s where she flexed her muscles on songs like “Foreva” and “Lick,” slowly transforming into an artist who now dominates Billboard charts. Known for her transparency and her ability to be completely unhinged, we were privy to her personal life in ways that became even too much for her. Invasion of Privacy is an honest debut from a rapper who built a brand on being “regular,” even if she’s not so regular anymore.

Noisey staff writers Lawrence Burney and Kristin Corry break down Invasion of Privacy track-by-track upon first listen, and here were their first impressions.

“Get Up 10”

Lawrence: “Went from making tuna sandwiches to making the news” is a rags-to-riches analogy that I can fully conceptualise. This is a textbook way to start a career-defining rap album. Cardi spends a quarter of the song reliving the days she had to get through to make it to this moment before making a Tee Grizzley by-way-of Meek Milly shift in gears. If you’re going to make a statement, you have to plant your flag firmly into the ground and stand on those words. Whether you live up to them or not is irrelevant for that brief initiation, but Cardi sends a convincing warning.

Kristin: I’m totally here for the “Dreams & Nightmares” feel of it, I just worry that she’s going to end up sounding like everybody but Cardi. It’s a great way to start a debut, and we’ve seen that these introspective intros work well. Cardi adapts well to whatever flow she wants to adopt for the moment. She owned Kodak’s flow on “Bodak” and is damn near a fourth Migo on “Drip.” I want to hear Cardi sound like Cardi. It’s admirable that she wanted to tap into what made Meek’s intro so good, but also feels like she sort’ve does a disservice to herself by trying to emulate that sound so much. I’m completely a fan of when the beat switches it up toward the end though.

“Drip”

Kristin: This isn’t a bad song, but I think I would have appreciated this more on Culture II.

Lawrence: This may be one of my least favourite Cardi B songs. I’d actually like less songs of her with Migos on it. The album would have been just fine without this.

“Bickenhead”

Kristin: Well Lawrence, you were right about the Project Pat sample. At a glance, I was hoping this was the track YG would be on. I’m sold on her flip of the song though. The best part about Cardi is her ability to redefine the labels society forces on her and make them her own. Now everybody’s Instagram caption is going to be “bickenhead,” which is dope because in 2001 that wasn’t the greatest thing for a woman to be called. The true test of a bop for me is if I spend more time singing it than I spend doing my makeup. This is going to pass with flying colours.

Lawrence: LONG LIVE TRIPLE 6 MAFIA. There’s really no way that Cardi could lose here by sampling Project Pat’s “Chickenhead” because what’s continuing to become abundantly clear is that anything produced by DJ Paul and Juicy J will defy generational barriers. I mean, Crunchy Black used to seem like a problem from time to time. But anyway, what Cardi is doing here is perfect because while she didn’t snag La Chat for this song like I wished, her list of ways to “pop the pussy” feels like an ode to another Chat classic in “Slob On My Cat.”

Kristin: We get it, Lawrence. Triple 6 til you die.

“Bodak Yellow”

Lawrence: We all obviously love this song. “Bodak Yellow” dominated the summer. I remember seeing Cardi perform this at Moma PS1 and it was the most congested crowd I’ve ever been a part of. Like, if something would have popped off that day, a minimum of ten people would have gotten trampled. Hearing “Bodak Yellow” in that setting, with that kind of collective excitement is one of my favourite hip-hop moments of all time. Within the context of the album, I like that it comes after “Bickenhead” because it keeps the high energy going, then it immediately shifts gears with “Be Careful.” That shows Cardi’s range.

Kristin: Every time the beat drops, I ask myself “Am I over this song?” Like clockwork, it still catches me the same way as it did the first time I heard it. I was worried that it may not fit well with the rest of the album, but I think it’s the opposite. “Bodak” was really able to set the tone for what we should’ve expected for her debut album, and I think it’s safe to say she’s delivered.

“Be Careful”

Lawrence: When this track first dropped, there was a lot of chatter about how different it is than “Bodak Yellow” but I’m not sure where people developed the notion that Cardi B is only capable of one kind of song. While everyone’s been screaming about their bloody shoes she’s been rapping over New Jack Swing beats and singing in Spanish on dancehall tracks. What’s also good about the song is that it feels like it could have worked during any rap era of the past 25 years. Cardi’s shedding layers of herself to share details of her relationship but also warning that she might not stick around for repeated trauma. Those kinds of songs have been staples for some time.

Kristin: I honestly really love this song. People are saying she shouldn’t be singing on the hook and that she’s offbeat, but honestly that’s apart of what I love about Cardi. Her delivery has always been a little clumsy, which makes it all feel a lot more real for me personally. The same people talking shit are the same people who would praise it if her male counterparts put this song out. If we’re being honest, “Be Careful” is better than A Boogie’s “Get to You” which both borrow from Lauryn Hill’s “Ex-Factor.” She had me at the Belly reference, but most importantly, it feels like New York in the summer. Real New York, not transplant New York.

My concern here though, is the talk about the reference track that was posted shortly after the single dropped. It’s no secret people have ghostwriters but I couldn’t help listen to the rest of the album wondering what she actually wrote. It’s probably also naive of me to think everyone writes everything, but it’s something to consider. Accusations of ghostwriters haven’t hurt Drake and shouldn’t hurt her either. The way her personal life has played out in front of us makes this song feel incredibly intimate, so if it’s true, hearing Pardison Fontaine on the reference track was a little disappointing. I want to believe Offset got her mad enough to the point where these are her words.

“Best Life”

Kristin: I’m stoked she got a Chance feature, but it sounds like he didn’t give his all on this hook. Have that same energy you had on Life of Pablo or any other project your attach your name to. The hook feels a little lazy coming from him, especially if we’re comparing it to his verse, which is as chipper as you get with Chance. When he says, “I work magic, I work magic, I work magic in my life,” I feel Pastor Chance coming back out, putting an anointing on me. If we’re talking about living our best life, let’s have higher energy.

Lawrence: I agree on Chance’s contribution on the hook. That’s especially apparent after the energy Cardi comes in with on her first verse. But, I do enjoy Chance’s verse a lot. Cardi’s tuna-to-TV analogy for “making it” was great but Chance came in with “‘Member my hands had ash like Pompeii,” and changed the game. This song’s value lies in Cardi’s openness about how being in the public eye has affected her. From the self-consciousness about her teeth before getting them fixed, to how meeting Beyonce is a marker of really arriving. Rappers open up about these struggles often but what makes it resonate more here is that we’ve been able to see Cardi take many of the steps that she’s mentioning.

Kristin: I agree. Listening to her say, “I never had a problem showing y’all the real me/Hair when it’s fucked up, crib when it’s filthy.” I can literally pinpoint the moments she looked like she rolled out of bed chatting to her fans, with no fucks given. It’s that transparency that make people really root for her. She’s the antithesis to the perfectly packaged persona people post on socials. We literally watched her grow from a local sensation to BARDI. I love this “Binderella” reference and sort of wish that was her album title.

“I Like It”

Kristin: Haha, Cardi really does search her name on Twitter. She definitely ran that “Yup, they call me Cardi B, I run this shit like cardio” tweet on here. And this is exactly what I meant on the Chance song, J Balvin and Bad Bunny came with energy! Treat it like it’s your song, don’t just give some leftover melodies.

Lawrence: This will be blasted at every party in New York City this summer and I cannot wait.

Kristin: Practicing my bachata as we speak.

“Ring”

Kristin: I just find it funny that people criticised her for singing her own hook on “Be Careful,” suggesting that Kehlani or SZA should’ve done the honour instead… Kehlani is on the hook of this and it’s not nearly as strong of a song. Now what?

Lawrence: This one is fine and I’ve accepted that I will probably be hearing it on the radio all the time.

Kristin: I’m not into it. If we’re going with the ghostwriter theory, I think this is the official “Offset song” but “Be Careful” was the smarter and catchier choice to capitalise on the drama. This is all speculation though.

“Money Bag”

Kristin: This is definitely the closest she’s gotten to something that’s felt similar to “Bodak.” If I had a dollar for every time I’ll see “I said babe, issa snack/He say it’s an entree” on Instagram this summer, my loans would be forgiven. Nodding to Plies and Beyonce in a hook is pretty much the perfect way to make sure the song is a hit on social media, and she knows that. All of her eccentric confessionals on Love & Hip Hop have been preparing us for this moment. She really stretches her voice for that it’s worth here. It’s the perfect amount of extra. Also, money bags in general is always a big mood. OKURR!

Lawrence: When the song first started, I thought I’d be skipping it within the first 30 seconds. But then Cardi hit a gear that took the song to a new level. Like you said, in flow, it does follow the footsteps of “Bodak Yellow” at points. But the range that Cardi spans in energy here pushes it further.

“Bartier Cardi”

Lawrence: I enjoy how ferocious Cardi gets with the flow on this song. It’s always felt like with this one, she had a point to prove and it worked. 21’s tone of voice alone is why his verse isn’t a complete wash but he didn’t bring his best to this one at all.

Kristin: I still enjoy this song and I think it does a good job of keeping the momentum of what could now be considered Cardi’s sound. I actually like 21 on here, regardless of the questionable things he says he does with hot sauce.

“She Bad”

Kristin: YG you were supposed to be on “Bickenhead!” I personally would’ve preferred Yo Gotti on this hook. Cardi’s definitely in her bag here and throwing some subliminals. So I expect this one to be making its rounds with speculation on who they’re aimed for. Of course they could be empty insults, but we know for women in hip-hop it doesn’t work like that. I’m crying at YG’s “Only Birkin, not Dooney & Burke” line. A few people listening just pushed their Dooney collection all the way to the back of their closet.

Lawrence: This is another one out of Three 6 Mafia’s book of flows. Like the majority of songs that came before it, “She Bad” has the potential to be a smash hit – if anything, it will be another mainstay at parties and clubs for the rest of this year. YG has an uncanny ability to make effective hooks while not saying very much. That gift, joined with the production’s tempo and Cardi’s flow make this one worth revisiting.

“Thru Your Phone”

Kristin: This hook is… interesting. Lana Del Rey vibes? But damn, this song is petty as hell. Did she really just say, “I’ma make a bowl of cereal with a teaspoon of bleach/Serve it to you like, here you go nigga bon appetit.” Okay, Eminem. This is the song I want to see a visual for the most. Show me Cardi cutting the tongues out of sneakers and smashing televisions.

Offset, watch your back bruh.

Lawrence: The lesson here is very, extremely clear. Guys: do not cheat. Unless you want bleach cereal.

“I Do”

Kristin: Two queens talking shit. I stan. It’s also cool as hell that we watched this collaboration materialise. The definition of “Twitter, do ya thing.” I sort’ve wish there was more to the album after this, considering “Bodak Yellow” and “Bardier Carti” were played to death. Disclaimer: If your text goes unanswered it’s because SZA and Cardi told me to do it.

Lawrence: I love this song (SZA, sing over more trap please!), but its energy begs for it to be somewhere in the middle of the album. Invasion of Privacy ending on this note makes it feel incomplete. I’m so amped that I’m ready to come down a bit before I dip out. But, in consideration of the album’s title, Cardi delivered. Historically, she’s given us a lot of access into her life on social media. And by her sharing her experiences in the kind of detail that she does, I’m left to interpret it as: “Y’all are already in my business, making speculations, so I might as well just be the one to bare it all. Here is my truth.” Isn’t that what we want from all of our artists? At least, the ones we want to remember? We want an invitation into their innermost feelings – no matter how that may eat away at them – in order for us to be able to feel connected to them.

Lawrence Burney and Kristin Corry are staff writers at Noisey.

This article originally appeared on Noisey US.

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