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#azi and food
greeneyed-thestral · 8 months
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What the deuce are you doing locked up in the Bastille?
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sezja · 5 days
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Can we please bring the VIth Legion, trapped in Azys Lla, home to Garlemald or at the very least away from Azys Lla
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babbeldumpsterfire · 10 months
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No but imagine what Crowley coming back from a 4 years nap would look like:
He could wake up on the ceiling (maybe we will finally get a glorious sleeping on the wall scene?) and fall on the bed like a stranded fish, with rapunzelian hair flying everywhere. Imagine the potential for comedy: maybe Aziraphale is calling him, or some poor unfortunate salesman is trying to sell him something at the door and is greeted by a friggin’ Samara-ish red haired monstrosity that glares at him with big yellow snake eyes from the depths of the tangled mane. Poor sod would never try selling anything ever again, not even a pin. 
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abzania · 9 months
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You think when Crowley looks at Aziraphale like this, he's thinking of that scene in Job's basement?
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eviebane · 6 months
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You cannot convince me the Ritz wasn't a date
On the top section where Azi and Crowley are, there are only couples. Every single table with customers is two people - three are man/woman, one is woman/woman, two are man/man.
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Then on the lower section is groups.
Is it because of the tables? NOPE.
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Most of the tables are round with four chairs. So, this is purposely staged so that couples are separate from the groups, and who is Azi and Crowley with? The couples on dates.
It is beautiful, elegant, romantic.
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EVERY SINGLE OTHER PLACE they got drinks or food at before this was not an overtly romantic place.
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I mean, the food temptation scene is definitely shot like a frickin sex scene, but they're not even sitting near each other.
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I will not deny that the 1940s ending scene is set up like a date. The candle light, the round white-clothed table - bit like the Ritz?
Except one thing - it's completely secluded, in private, away from prying eyes. Even the first few shots are behind the bookcase then the stairs, like we're spying on them.
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This was the first time we saw that romance out in the open, in a place where lovers go to share drinks and a meal, and it's so beautiful.
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the-apology-dance · 6 months
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Aziraphale and The Bentley
One of the many things I love about Season 2 of Good Omens, is we get to see The Bentley interacting with Aziraphale.
We all know that The Bentley is an extension of Crowley.
It is hilarious to see how it mirrors him. The Bentley is an actual puppy. Crowley loves Aziraphale, which The Bentley is aware of. It is why he listens to him and does things to make him happy.
The travel sweets - Aziraphale loves food.
The type of music - It is aware of his love of classical music.
The color of the car changing - Aziraphale’s favorite color.
We can see it drives itself. Yet it refused to go faster. I WONDER WHY. It knows Aziraphale hates when Crowley drives extremely fast.
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Some MORE WAYS it behaves like Crowley:
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This car is following him, because it loves Aziraphale. Just like Crowley follows Aziraphale around. What makes it even better? The Bentley is following Aziraphale as he is walking back towards the bookshop. Crowley’s favorite place to be. The same demon who SAYS THIS:
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Funny enough, The Bentley is Crowley’s colors. It is just a “second Crowley”. When Crowley isn't there, The Bentley protects Aziraphale just like Crowley does. It has his protective nature. What makes it go back? Aziraphale telling it to.
Maybe because Crowley can't say “no” to Aziraphale….
Can we also talk about the little pats he constantly does on The Bentley to show affection? UHM. If that doesn’t symbolize that Crowley LIKES to be praised I don’t know what does honestly.
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THE BENTLEY LITERALLY ACTS AS A GUARDIAN. Azi wasn’t technically lying about the changes to the Bentley either. The Bentley accommodated to Aziraphale’s preferences, instead of Crowley’s. Essentially it wanted him to be happy by taking care of him. It even went so far as to disobey Crowley.
It only changes back when his Demon Dad finds out about the changes, and presses the pedal down more when Crowley threatens to start selling Azi’s books as it doesn’t want to cause Aziraphale trouble.
Also, proof that The Bentley sees Azi as his “other owner” and his “Angel Dad”
WHY IS THE BENTLEY SO CUTE😫🖤
(If any of you choose to use this as a headcanon for a fanfic/fanart, please credit me and let me know so that I can see it!🫶🏼✨)
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yaoisex · 9 months
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So after knowing that Crowley tempted Azi to eat food for the first time (and he came to love it), re-watching season 1 and seeing Crowley staring at Azi while he's eating is really... something. Makes you feel all tingly, right? *-*
I mean -
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Just... look at him looking at him
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I remember losing my shit while witnessing that for the first time while watching season 1 back then. But it's even hotter now, after everything that's happened on season 2 episode 2 *___*
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(I just needed all of those gifs in sequence so I could stare at them every second of every day *___*)
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kirbylord · 9 months
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i feel like i won’t be able to put this correctly but i love the difference between how azi and crowley express their love and how beelzebub and gabriel express it. like beez and gabriel love each other but they never kiss because they’re not humans, they’re ethereal/occult beings who don’t express love in human terms. and their love isn’t explicitly romantic or queerplatonic or platonic but it doesn’t matter the label except that they’re in love.
but with crowley and azi, they’ve lived among humans for 6000 years, and they like earth and humanity, they enjoy eating human food and drinking and they enjoy human music and dancing and books, and i think overtime they’ve become connected with the human experience. so, when crowley comes to terms that he loves azi and needs to express it, his first instinct is to express how humans do—by kissing him.
it doesn’t mean they’re suddenly explicitly romantic, just that they’re expressly in love, and crowley in his desperation needs to show aziraphale those feelings before it’s too late. but unfortunately, he’s always too late.
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azirafuck · 9 months
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GOS2 Spoilers Masterpost (ONLY EP. 1-2)
alright, you read the title, you know what's under here - gonna tag everyone who helped this if I know them, thanks to everyone for their contribution and for being agents of chaos the way satan intended. love you all
[Last update/edit: 24/07 - 14:10CET]
first of all, we got some amazing posts from @incorrectquoteswwdits mostly about the first scene in heaven with crowley as an angel:
angel!crowley creating stars and aziraphale thinking he's calling him beautiful
more on that
aziraphale's lies make the lesbians have problems, apparently
communist aziraphale be like OUR CAR
isolation and doubts
THEN we have a detailed recount of the first episode by a kind anon! again, thank you @incorrectquoteswwdits for sharing <3
@goodomens-hints posted a lenghty and detailed recount of the first episode as well with some little hits at future episodes (nothing too big on the post itself, but BE CAREFUL, the blog is actually posting some other spoilers from episodes past the second one!)
@goodomensjail gave us a detailed recount of the first scene, with angel!crowley starting to question stuff and eventually shielding aziraphale with his wing
@mikubinders gives us SOME GOOD GOURMET SHIT by telling us that:
"Beelzebub kidnaps and threatens Crowley, tells him that ze could put a price on his head but ze doesn't want to. After that Crowley comes back to the bookshop and Good-old-fashioned lover boy plays while he drives there. "I'm back" happens. Aziraphale makes Crowley do a silly little apology dance so he forgives him and so they work together"
after thinking this last spoiler was fake, an anon came through and confirmed its real! we also have new context! (sent by an anon to yours tuly)
anon came through with some details about the Everyday record, told us Queen is actually tied to CROWLEY and not to the Bentley, and gave us more context to the OUR CAR and OUR BOOKSHOP bit (sent by an anon to yours tuly)
as for what happens during the Job flashback, after which the sitting five feet apart on a rock in front of the sea happens, a bunch of different versions of what actually happens are going around. @thesherrinfordfacility kept up with the madness surrounding it, so im gonna post here the last two versions of events/details.
first one:
In the Job section, Aziraphale is questioning gods decision of punishing Job. Then u see him in heaven w Muriel here and they are looking thru a long scroll that has instructions from god and he's trying to make sense of it. Muriel is telling him that god and satan made a bet about what Job would do and that's why they are testing him. And az is like whatttt why would god do that that's mean!
When Az finds out they're going to kill Jobs kids, he goes down to Earth to save them while using his angel voice until he realizes he's speaking to Crowley. He sees Crowley about to enter the kids room and tells Crowley "I know you, you wouldn't do this" and Crowley tells him he doesn't know him really. (
AND TY TENNANT IS SASSY AND FLIRTS W AZ??!??!? (*) And THATS when crowley goes "well he seems nice" from the clip. He wasn't jealous tho, like he thought it was funny since they are literally there to supposedly kill these kids and one of them is flirting lol.
The moment of 'weird-beard Crowley' was actually more focused on azi and him questioning God. Crowley tempts Azi w food and u see him struggle but then he gobbled it down and he cries bc he thinks crowley is going to bring him to hell (that's the scene where they are sitting on that thing with the pretty horizon) Crowley tells him "you're just an angel who follows gods as will as much as he can" and Az says that sounds lonely, and Crowley agrees, which is a callback to when he asked Crowley if he was lonely being on what Crowley calls "his own side", and Crowley said no. Crowley then tells him "i'm a demon. I lied"
(*): it was told this isn't actually canon canon, it's up for interpretation - some reported Ty's character is just the classic bratty teenager UPDATE: NOPE anon cleared it up and apparently it DOES read as flirty because ty's character is a little bitch, love that for us
and then we have the second one:
"Episode 2 is half present day things [...], and half the Job story/flashback. Crowley is the demon sent by Satan to torment "God's favorite human" Job to see if Job will curse God, in one big bet between God and Satan. Aziraphale comes to try to stop him, discovers they recognize each other but haven't seen each other since "the flood" and that Crowley seems to have changed since the flood, because he is willing to sacrifice the goats, and ruin Job's house. Crowley says he "has a permit" to torment Job FROM GOD. Aziraphale brings this up to the archangels that gleefully explain that yes it's a bet with Satan and that Job will suffer, but he will get everything back 3-fold by the end. And he will get NEW children. This disturbs Aziraphale, he does not want the CURRENT children to die, he understands the familial love that the archangels do not. He goes to stop Crowley not with power since he has the permit but to reason with him. Aziraphale says things to the effect "I KNOW you don't want to harm them I KNOW you and you don't want to kill children" and Crowley is defiant, but then…. It is revealed that he never killed any of the goats either, he transformed them into pigeons to hide them. And he is hiding the children away in the basement but destroying the house to make it look like they died. He transforms the three kids into lizards to hide them, then when the Archangels descend to give Job his rewards and tell him his wife will bear 7 new children, Job and his wife are in despair because they love their children. Crowley comes in pretending to be a human doctor and he and Aziraphale LIE to the angels faces about how babies are made and trick the angels into thinking Jobs three original children are NEWLY BORN children. Which fools Gabriel, who has only ever seen God make Eve fully grown from Adam's ribs. Crowley then meets Aziraphale at the rock. Aziraphale is crying and says "im ready for you to take me to hell" because he has LIED to angels and foiled God's plans. Crowley is gentle and comforts him that he is still an angel and "I won't tell anyone if you won't" and they reminisce that it's lonely being a different kind of demon and a different kind of angel that sort of do what they feel is right. Heavily implying that they are the same and have each other now. The end of episode 2.
that's what's going around for now, but ill add stuff if we find anything new - also feel free to add to this yourself or send me stuff!
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inhonoredglory · 7 months
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Good Omens Season 3: Heaven and Hell dividing humanity; humanity as Leviathan; and Aziraphale locking the doors of Heaven and throwing away the key [A Meta]
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(This meta is long, but I swear there's some good stuff in here. It took me 2 months to get it together for these two longsuffering Anons. Thank you so much for asking me these very important questions.)
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In preparation for answering two Asks above (and to aid my own predictions of Good Omens 3), I read and reviewed the Book of Revelation, W.B. Yeat’s iconic poem “The Second Coming,” Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods, Neil Gaiman’s deleted scene from American Gods (Shadow meeting Jesus in America), and Doctor Who showrunner Russell T Davies’ 2003 miniseries The Second Coming (starring Christopher Eccleston!). The first two are definitely going to be referenced in season 3, Davies’ show is one of the few stories dealing head-on with the coming of Christ, and Terry and Neil’s bibliographies are probably the biggest resources for how Season 3 will shake out thematically.
🕊 How Aziraphale Will Change Heaven
I think GO s3 is the season we see Aziraphale really come into his own, when we see him implement the moral vision he’s taken this long to coalesce, when all the pieces he and Crowley have put together are finally put on stage in a terrifying, beautiful display (all that righteous anger and conviction, merged with his kindness and empathy is going to be Something Else).
There’s an angel in the Book of Revelation who stands between the Earth and the Sea. This angel wears a rainbow halo and speaks with the voice of seven thunders, and yet John (the writer of Revelation) is told not to write down what this angel speaks. (Sounds like someone has hit on the Ineffable Plan?) If Neil and Terry were going to pick up an image from Revelation for Aziraphale, I really like this one, because it feels like an intermediary role (between two Sides), one that god dare not make public because it speaks an uncomfortable truth. And it’s about speaking and revealing knowledge, instead of fighting or destroying something.
Because even though we know Azi and Crowley will fight to stop the second End Times, fighting itself is not a theme Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett really champion. Instead of war, Aziraphale will oppose Heaven in all the little ways he and Crowley opposed it before: By enjoying human comforts (Azi will definitely bring food and trinkets to Heaven and send scrivener angels and seraphim alike to tour earth). By asking questions (Heaven’s new suggestion box). By telling stories about humanity and why it’s important to know who these humans are before anyone kills anybody (Azi was, after all, brought on board because of his human expertise).
Aziraphale will become what Crowley wanted to be before the Fall, but Azi’s got the benefit of thousands of years of knowledge, cunning, and intelligence about how both Heaven and humanity work. He knows Heaven’s weaknesses, he knows humanity’s strengths, he knows his own capabilities, and he knows where Heaven will turn a blind eye. He’s going to be such a bastard the likes of which we’ve never seen. And he’s going to drop truth bombs like there’s no tomorrow.
Season 2 brought back the book banter about “the lower you start, the more opportunities you have.”
Season 3 will bring back Aziraphale’s most badass book moment. This scene takes place after Azi possesses an American televangelist talking about the fire and brimstone of the End Times and the Rapture (the mass teleporting of all worthy believers to Heaven). Says Aziraphale,
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Aziraphale is fed up with Heaven’s hypocrisy and he's scathing in his condemnation of both Heaven and Hell. Everyone will die and become collateral damage, no matter which side is doing the killing.
Sound familiar?
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That's the arc Aziraphale is heading towards: that blazing conviction of Crowley's, spoken out loud and fearless and in spite of his eons of trauma. And Season 3 will see Aziraphale get to that place, where he gets to tell off Heaven, but not just in the privacy of the bookshop or the bandstand, but to their faces in Heaven's hallowed halls.
The demons and angels in Season 2 were much less icky and ethereal (respectively) from their appearances in Season 1. Because it's working towards a further humanization of both sides in Season 3. Because one of the biggest themes in s3 will be Aziraphale humanizing Heaven in all the little quaint ways he loves humanity. All in preparation for the endgame of Heaven and Hell not existing at all.
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(Season 3 deep dive continues under the cut...)
Because angels and demons won’t be fought, but changed. Maybe not by much, but just enough to break the loyalty they have to a Great Plan no one understands. This is how both Neil’s American Gods and Terry’s Small Gods conclude, with the build-up to an incredible battle, and then for the human hero to step in and talk down the gods and armies into seeing sense and reason.
I don’t think Aziraphale himself will be that person. It might be a very human Jesus. Or (more likely) a random human being caught up in this craziness (maybe someone in Tadfield, per the working title of the second GO book: 668: The Neighbor of the Beast). But Aziraphale will be fundamental in changing the atmosphere of Heaven in the little ways Earth changed him.
🗝 Season 3 Themes: Morality and God
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In the Job minisode, Aziraphale casually but boldly assumed that god didn’t want the goats and children to be killed. Because Aziraphale has a firm and dogged idea about what god should be. It’s his own personal morality, but he calls it god’s because he doesn’t want to imagine the symbol of ultimate goodness being anything other than what he Aziraphale himself feels to be true.
And I don’t think that’s a theme that Good Omens will deny for Aziraphale. Because it’s not really about how evil or good god is. It doesn’t matter what god thinks or is. god doesn’t answer questions, doesn’t deliver messages we can understand, doesn’t show up when needed. god is inscrutable, shifty, absent, “a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
What’s important is what humanity has done with god, what humanity has said about god, what they do in god’s name, what they interpret god to be. That’s the real danger.
And Aziraphale, in his profound goodness, will become the person he wants god to be. Because that’s the injunction we all have. To live up to the ideal we have made for ourselves: In many ways, that’s what god is.
Aziraphale is now in a privileged place that allows him to affect basically the entirety of Creation with that driving idealism. He will level the playing field in Heaven. I firmly believe Aziraphale will be the one to close the doors to the pearly gates and throw away the key.
So, like you asked Anon, will Aziraphale try to make Heaven better or stop the Second Coming? I think those are the same goal. Changing Heaven will fundamentally change how the Second Coming happens, because just like the End Times in Season 1, Heaven and Hell’s scheme will be turned on its head because the Chosen One refuses to follow the script.
The Second Coming will end, not with a bang, but a whimper, because everyone decides to turn in their guns and forget the whole thing.
⚔️ Heaven and Hell v. Humanity
But before that ending happens, I think there will be another threat the world has to face: the individuals who are so sure of their own righteousness that no amount of sense could stop them from destroying anyone who thinks differently. This is an important theme in both Neil and Terry’s works (see Vorbis, the Exquisitor in Small Gods, who tortured unbelievers for the Church), and I believe it will show up in the new season.
There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous. –Neil Gaiman, American Gods
Because it’s humanity who takes Faith and shapes it into Religion. We are the ones who created the Heaven we see in GO: cold, unfeeling, strict, judgmental. And I think Season 3 is going to address this fundamental belief of both Neil and Terry: that humans are just so damnably human (fundamentally innocent and stupid and wonderful) and yet there’s a few of us who will take things too far and think that Someone wants them to destroy everything in the Name of God. And in these changing contemporary political times (the passage of an old generation, still clinging to their old ways and growing more extreme by the minute *cough*Trump*cough*), the dangerous people become even more vocal and violent, like the frightening, monstrous creature in WB Yeats’ poem “The Second Coming,” a devastating scourge on the world born in the name of God:
Surely some revelation is at hand; Surely the Second Coming is at hand. […] A shape with lion body and the head of a man, A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, […] And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? –WB Yeats, "The Second Coming"
That’s who I think the Metatron will team up with in the end, someone like Vorbis. Because we’ve already seen how petty and small Heaven and Hell is, especially in Season 2. Only the Metatron really carries some heft and foreboding. I believe he’ll team up with some extremist faction of humanity who wants to see the End of Days and divide the world into Yours and Mine, with Heaven taking a portion and Hell taking a third and calling it a day. Not a War, but a divvying out of souls. With no consent or permission on the part of humanity.
That’s what I think the zombie reference is all about. Like Gabriel said in 2x03:
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Yes, we’re going to get zombies. And it’s going to be insane and funny and horrifying (and I think we’ll get to know one or two historical figures who pop back up to earth). But the thematic and fundamental metaphor of zombies is how they have no free will. They’re not alive, they have no souls, they have no choices. That’s what Heaven and Hell want humanity to be: To do away with the dance of choice and free will and divide humanity once and for all between both sides. That’s how Heaven and Hell team up against the human race.
🐳 Leviathan (Job 41:19) as Humanity
And that’s how I believe the Leviathan fits in, who is the subject of the quote from Muriel’s matchbox:
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The Leviathan is a magnificent creature, and this passage goes on and on about how fearsome this being is:
Who can penetrate its double coat of armor? Who dares open the doors of its mouth, ringed about with fearsome teeth?… Nothing on earth is its equal—a creature without fear. It looks down on all that are haughty; it is king over all that are proud –Job 41:13b, 33-34
And yet why does god want to explain how amazing the Leviathan is? To show how god has control of it. God says,
Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook… Can you make a pet of it like a bird or put it on a leash for the young women in your house?… Can you fill its hide with harpoons… No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me? –Job 41:1, 5, 7, 10
The reasoning is that because god created this dangerous and terrifying being, then god must be even more dangerous and terrifying. And if god can so easily abuse and humiliate this beautiful monster, then god must be worshipped and respected. (Yes, it’s as messed-up as it sounds.)
I can’t help but think of this Leviathan as a metaphor for humanity. A beautiful, ferocious being whose ownership and control is the focus of god’s attention and qualification for worship? Of the Leviathan, Job says: “Will traders barter for it? Will they divide it up among the merchants?” (Job 41:6). That’s how humanity is going to be treated in Season 3.
Because both God and Satan want to control humanity. They want to put their thumb on human souls and claim them for each side. But humanity doesn’t have to be so easily fooled, because we are more powerful than we realize. Our hearts and imaginations can forge a path of purpose and goodness without the entrapment of organized religion and fundamentalism. We, like Leviathan, are ferocious and angry and fed up with being treated like this. We can and will fight back.
🌟 Becoming Gods
Ultimately, we will shuffle off the need for Heaven and Hell (symbolized by the shutting down of both at the end of Season 3). We will lose the need to unquestionably defer to a Being who plays dice with our lives. I’m reminded of the opening passage to Terry’s Small Gods:
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The lowly tortoise will learn to be the eagle; humanity will learn to be like god. Because we are as powerful as god, since we created god. Adam Young pointed out that having a god figure to solve all our problems doesn’t make humanity any more responsible for the evil things we’ve done. We need to learn that we are all we’ve got, and we have to answer for the shit we’ve done to each other and to the world.
I like how Russell T Davies put it in his show The Second Coming, where Jesus comes down again in the body of ordinary human Steven Baxter and tells humanity:
You are becoming gods. There's a new master of creation, and it's you! Unraveled DNA, and at the same time you're cultivating bacteria strong enough to kill every living thing! Do you think you are ready for that much power? You lot? You lot? Cheeky bastards. You're running around science like kids with guns, creating a new world, while the world you've got is stinking…. If you want the position of god then take the responsibility. –Russell T Davies, The Second Coming
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I legitimately think that’s how Jesus in Good Omens 3 will come down. In the body of a regular 30-something off-the-streets guy, who thinks the pomp and circumstance made about him is insane. And Aziraphale will be his minder, trying to tell him how the whole scheme is supposed to play out and giving him wise asides on how warped Heaven’s standards are and trying to tell him how to go about changing things for the better. (Jesus will be terribly confused, meanwhile; he just wants to go out for a pint and get on with his human life, none of this god business.)
🐍 Crowley’s Growth
There will be some big things at play in Season 3. I think Aziraphale will change how Heaven operates and close Heaven for good. I think Aziraphale will initially try to get Jesus on board with Azi’s own private mission of Goodness. I actually think Crowley will end up becoming Aziraphale’s “back channels” to Earth, and they’d exchange trite, bantering messages about the state of affairs from secret rendezvous points in America. (There was a whole thing about Jesus getting lost in Times Square, according to Neil Gaiman.)
I think Crowley will learn how to trust Aziraphale and learn that doing the right thing means being brave and selfless. He’ll realize that humanity is worth saving, even if it means dying. In fact, his depression at the start of Season 2 will probably only get worse after the loss of Aziraphale, and his altruism might get colored by the taint of suicidal recklessness, because he might as well go out for what he believes in, if what he wanted most in the world chose being selfless over being with him. (If Crowley’s character takes a suicidal turn like the Tenth Doctor after losing Rose, I’m gonna scream.)
This is how Aziraphale helps Crowley be brave in the finale of the Good Omens book. That’s what I think will happen in Good Omens 3:
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Aziraphale here displays a gentleness and kindness that comes from a place of grounded knowledge and responsibility. He knows how much he and Crowley have in their own ways fucked up humanity too, and he knows that no matter what their own personal feelings, they each need to do something to defend the human species they've come to love so much.
Crowley is scared of risking everything to help save humanity, but with Aziraphale's encouragement and wisdom, he realizes that doing the right thing is the only option he can choose, no matter the risk to his own happiness and safety.
So I believe Crowley will learn to understand why Aziraphale chose to return to Heaven and fight in the trenches. Crowley will see it as a choice made to save, not just each other, but the world they love so much.
Ultimately, I think Crowley on earth will take on Aziraphale’s strongest qualities: being selfless and bold to protect humanity at costs, and connecting to humanity on a personal, individual level.
While Aziraphale in Heaven will become like Crowley: asking questions, sabotaging the System, and condemning Heaven with all the uncomfortable truths they need to hear.
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lsd-astronaut · 2 months
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Hello!! I hope you don’t mind me asking but could you do a fluffy Crowley x Demon!reader x Aziraphale fic (or headcanons)??
Maybe something like what it’s like all being in a relationship together?
(Also if it’s not too much to ask can the reader use a cane to walk around? Maybe because of something relating to when they fell and became a demon? If not that’s okay!!!)
First of all, I love you and I could kiss you in the mouth right now. I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR AGES THAT CROWLEY WOULD HAVE CHRONIC PAIN BC OF THE FUCKING FALL. I refuse to believe for one moment that you can fall all the way from Heaven, land on the ground and be all “hey guys i’m fine!”
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Aziraphale x Demon!Reader x Crowley
Please like and reblog<3
Warnings: chronic pain, but nothing else, this is just good old fluff
• You were an archangel along with Crowley, with the same obligations in making the cosmos✨ so you both met Aziraphale at the same time
• When Azi told you both that the project was destined to close in a few thousand years, you were the one that proposed to fill a complain to God (and crowley seconded you)
• Cue a war and a Fall later, Crowley and you are in Hell, but in different departments so you don’t see each other much
• In fact, you didn’t see Azi and Crowley for the first time since the Fall until the crucifixion of Jesus
• You stood beside them in silent reverence to this poor soul lost for all of humanity
• “What sort of mother would wish this fate upon her own kin?” Crowley and Azi turned to you with confused expressions (although Crowley gained a lot of respect for that comment hehe)
• After some idle conversation, and Crowley convincing Aziraphale not to just smite you right there and then, you three decide to traverse the world
• Centuries pass, and Crowley and you stay around humans (you love their way of living, and he likes children so everyone wins)
• You like to read everything you can get your hands on, to Crowley’s chagrin
• “Now I have two bookworms. What have I done to deserve this?”
• It’s circa the year 1000, in the new continent that these curious people called Vikings have discovered, when Crowley and you decide to experiment a human thing that you had wanted to try for a long time
• Your first kiss is messy, and there are more teeth than anything else; besides Crowley insists it feels slimey
• However, she can’t help but to accept he got a bit aroused by it
• Practice makes better, as they say, and so you do
• Although you spend the most time with Crowley, your relationship with Aziraphale also evolves throughout the years
• The “we have a mutual but I still don’t like you” to “maybe I do care about you” pipeline, if you want
• You take him to all kind of food places and bookstores, and he warms up to you a lot
• Introducing him to classical music was your proudest moment, and also the pettiest as Crowley had crossed you a bit beforehand
• The first time you kiss Aziraphale (or rather, he does), is one time you both were a bit tipsy during a masquerade ball in Paris in the 18th century
• He is a bit unexperienced but he gets the hang out of it really quick
• The three of you “confess” to each other in 1941, after the magic show fiasco
• Crowley looks nonchalant but you can see behind his eyes, he was worried sick he would be separated from both of you
• You make sure to give him extra cuddles that night
• Fast forward to 2008 and you work in Warlock’s house along with Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis, you being Warlock’s governess (like this is the fucking 1800s or smth lmao)
• It is at this time that the two of them notice you limping a bit every day after all chores have been done
• You insist that it is nothing and that you are perfectly capable of walking
• However, Ashtoreth happens to see you during one of your bad flares
• She immediately helps you to sit down on the bed, and looks at you expecting an explanation
• Her no-nonsense glare deters you from making up an excuse so you tell her the whole truth
• When you had fallen, you hadn’t landed correctly and had broken your legs on impact
• Miracles hadn’t done the full job and so you had been forced to endure the pain of the bones repairing themselves not quite right
• You had learned to mask the pain after centuries of practice but some days were just worse than others
• The next day, Ashtoreth gifts you a cane adorned with a snake head with little wings
• You proudly use it every day forward
• After the Second Coming, the three of you go to live in South Downs, finally able to be yourselves together
• There is still so much stuff to learn about everything, but you’re immortal and you are not alone, so why the hurry?
• As the sun sets on the horizon, you lean your head on Aziraphale’s shoulder as he reads one of Jane Austen’s books, and Crowley’s head is on your lap, already snoring softly
• You will be okay
I just wanted to say, I’m sorry if this is not what you asked for exactly as it is my first time writing for these two and I haven’t written either in two years so I feel I’m very rusty. I forgot ab the chronic pain until almost at the end, and I talk more about the history of you relationship than the actual relationship in itself lmao
Still, I hope you like it!
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greeneyed-thestral · 8 months
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THE KINGDOM OF WESSEX, 537 AD
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galaxgay · 3 months
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huh. just had a thought. at the beginning of their relationship, it was actually Aziraphale who kept reaching out to Crowley.
(cut bc i tend to ramble aha)
In Eden, he was the one who trusted a demon with the knowledge that he had given away the flaming sword (and lied to actual God herself about it) and shielded Crowley from the rain. (literally the exact opposite of his job description 💀)
During the Job fiasco, he went to Crowley first for help to stop Job's children from being killed (an act of complete understood defiance) and when Crowley agreed, he implied they were on the same side even after Crowley refuted- he even hung up his ego and let a demon show him food.
In Rome, he asks Crowley if he'd like to accompany him to try oysters (one of my favorite scenes) for no other reason than to spend time together. He invites him even after Crowley initially brushes him off. (sure he said something stupid but still-)
People say its always Crowley but honestly I don't think that's true. Aziraphale does not handle well under pressure (neither does Crowley but he can actually handle himself in a way Azi can't) and tension between Heaven and Hell for war has been building and building for millenia by the time we get to S1 and S2. The rising tension kind of forced him to be much more subtle and much more reserved.
At that point, they have seen much more of what Heaven and Hell will do when they don't comply. They, at that point, have perfected a dance out of self preservation.
But towards the beginning, it was actually always Aziraphale.
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badaziraphaletakes · 2 months
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The autistic community in this fandom has repeatedly said that Aziraphale is extremely autistic coded. Maybe we should start listening. Let's go. *SIGHS*
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There's so much I could talk about the critiques I see over this mostly pretty harmless scene, but I'll try to focus on the ableism here:
Aziraphale's playfulness is called "roleplaying" and "dismissive of Crowley's feelings" here. And I must say, as an autistic person, I find it offensive bc this is an extremely autistic coded moment where Aziraphale was unmasking in front of the only person he allows himself to do so and that usually implies he was inviting Crowley to do the same, he was most likely aware of Crowley's anxiety there and making himself vulnerable to him by unmasking, inviting him into his space and vice-versa. (I think calling his special interest, magic, "horrible" is also anti-autistic bias btw)
We never see Aziraphale acting like this with any other character besides Crowley, with whom he does this repeatedly. It's not a new situation. Crowley knows this, and he is used to this kind of behaviour from Aziraphale. And he loves to complain about it btw, and Aziraphale indulges him on that. This is love. This is intimacy.
I know it isn't perfect, I know it lacks verbal communication, but this isn't abusive behaviour in the slightest. Better communication is something they both need to work on after 6k years of having to hide their feelings bc they were being persecuted and abused, the story is telling us this. We have a whole other season for that, the story isn't over.
Now, regarding the second paragraph, the plot made it painfully obvious that the clue was real, so Aziraphale was not going to Edinburgh for fun. He had to go, and Crowley knew it (he never even argued against it), bc of the mystery of Gabriel's situation thay could backfire on them in the future. Who knows what Heaven was doing to their angels (and what they could do to aziracrow!! That's why Crowley had an informant. Didn't Metatron prove this in the end, that the threat was real?). Sure, Aziraphale had fun, bc he was bonding with Crowley through the Bentley and he loves him, so that makes him happy, but that's it. We're allowed to make the most out of a bad situation, guys. It's also a way to deal with stress. Aziraphale and Crowley have different ways of dealing with stress, and both are valid, they're different people, it's normal that they react differently to a crisis.
This scene was a very married moment tbh, filled with comfort with you partner (enough to unmask), an old known and comfortable dance for the both of them, and even an invite to take a step forward in their relationship.
Food for thought: I've been wondering why the fandom likes to say Azi and Crowley are like a "married couple" but some ppl at the same time hate when they in fact act like one?
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And finally, again, this is such an autistic coded moment that I, an autistic person, had the exact same interpretation as Aziraphale. I had never noticed, until I read this take, that Crowley could've meant anything other than "you don't know how to drive" lol. Aziraphale was being himself here. His true confident unmasked self. Bc Crowley allows him that. Bc Crowley makes him feel like he can. He wasn't pretending or intentionally misinterpreting or manipulating anyone. Assuming the absolute worst of him bc he interpreted something in a literal way is anti-autistic bias. Assuming the worst of him bc he doesn't use the same code as you to communicate is ableism. Assuming his decision-making logic is invalid bc of the way he acts when unmasking is both.
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abzania · 9 months
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I find it interesting that people think Crowley doesn't eat (which I mean, the show doesn't show him eating) when in fact, the novel tells us that Crowley likes to eat a big meal, and sleep.
I just think he doesn't eat as often, because y'know. Snake. Adult snakes only eat about once per week.
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eviebane · 4 months
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you guys loved my part 1 and 2 of Badly Explained Good Omens so i'm just going to keep doing it. fight me. (disclaimer: this series will be written when i'm either sleep deprived, caffeine overloaded, or drunk. feel free to speculate which one it is this time)
right so Season 1 of Good Omens is basically, these two man-shaped creatures who definitely don't want to lick each other's faces get together in a park full of spies & snitches so they can talk without raising suspicion (foolproof plan, obviously). it's basically a romeo and juliet thing, except romeo is an angelic bookseller hoarder and juilet is a snake demon who will make u re-evaluate your sexual orientation. and possibly give you gender envy. your average stuff, right.
so gender envy boy (Crowley) goes, hey, my lot made me uber the devil's son to an american diplomat the other night, and the angel (Aziraphale) goes, if you're going to destroy the world via evil baby style, can you lot at least not make it into some cheesy american movie. at least make it something actually cool. anyway so they're chatting about the end of the world, as you do, and Crowley goes y'know, Hell is gonna fuck the whole world up and Azi goes Nah, we beat your dumbarses before, we will again, and Crowley goes ANYWAY if everyone gets slaughtered, guess what? no more food, no more music. your life is gonna be boring af
so they go on a little date and Crowley keeps winding him up about how boring shit's gonna be when all the humans have been murdered in the ethereal/occult purge, and Aziraphale finally goes Yeah OK, but you realise I can't do shit about it right? like it's God's will and Crowley goes Nah nah nah, look. Look. Right. so I gotta look after this devil child for a few years and use my sexy nanny vibes to make sure he's evil. why don't YOU also infiltrate this devil child's household and teach him not to kill snails? it'll be like cosmic balance. yin/yang. the kid will be a normal little shit like most preteen boys, rather than starting apocalypses little shit.
Aziraphale is so captivated by his slutty charm and sparkling eyes that he agrees.
so they stalk the kid, dress up like old welsh gardeners and dominatrix nanny to teach him to love slugs and crush his foes under his boot. surprisingly, the kid is relatively normal. although he hates dinosaurs, so that's obviously concerning. Crowley suggests cold blooded murder of the child but Aziraphale's like Nah why don't i cosplay Fell the Marvellous again at his birthday party and Crowley goes why the fuck do I love this loser
anyway so as it turns out, the nuns that Crowley uber'd this baby to 11 years ago ended up with the wrong parents. The best friends husbands roadtrip to go fuck up the nuns, but actually Crowley's maggot colleague (no thats not an insult) burned the nunnery down and it's now a paintball arena, where currently a bunch of repressed office workers are shooting each other. there's a noteworthy bit where the husbands get hit with a paintball, Crowley becomes a naga (except reverse the top and bottom bits. Yeah it's terrifying) just to make a dude shit himself, then Aziraphale puppy dog eyes Crowley to get the stain off his coat because it ruins his vibes and that's not kool.
Crowley tries to make out with Aziraphale against the wall but then forgets the kissing part, then he bippity-boppity-boos a surviving ex-nun so they can interrogate her. the whole trip is pretty useless and it ends up becoming just them two flirt-fighting for a day. Oh also Crowley runs over a witch, but it's fine because she's an American
As it turns out, the witch left a book behind in Crowley's car and Aziraphale yoinks it like the book kleptomaniac he is, then binges it like your new favourite 150k fanfic
Crowley literally climbs the walls in boredom (unfortunately got cut, but still happened in my mind). They eventually meet up in Secret Rendezvous Spot #3 where they have a lover's quarrel and Crowley slut walks off
Next thing ya know, there's a witchfinder (yea don't worry too much about him) at Aziraphale's door and he tries to exorcise him via a prophecy book, a cute little retro desk bell and a fuckin lighter. Anyway.
So Aziraphale was trying to talk to God before the nutbag showed up via a magic angel circle that does a little star trek hologram. He ends up talking to God's secretary (not the fun kind) and he's like, Yeah no God's having PTO rn. Also you're being drafted into war 'cause shit's about to go down and Aziraphale's like Ahhh ok cool neat. let me just like, do a bit of tidying up first, oh and I have to pick up the dry cleaning, um then I need to make dinner, so anyway i'll be there soon. totally. yup. so excited to go fight hot sexy with pretty yellow eyes- bad, evil demons.
Aziraphale accidently cha cha slides into the circle and his body crumbles (same) and he pops into Heaven without a body. He gets yelled at by Anderson for not having a body or that sword he gave the humans 6000 years ago, and honestly I can't help but think it's Heaven's fault for not stock taking enough
Aziraphale's like Haha yeah Anderson I'm not fighting no war, I have a hot sexy yellow-eyed pretty beautiful smart funny demon to ki- uuuh, I mean, I'm a pacifist now, BYE and he yeets himself back to the mortal plane via a floaty picture of Earth
He finds Crowley going on a bender and doodling A+C=<3 on the pub table. Aziraphale's like Right Crowley get your shit together, we got an Apocalypse to stop in Tadfield
Crowley ends up getting trapped in London via a giant doom circle of fire that he designed, but he's like Ah nah fuck it, my Bentley can take it and it DOES. I mean it does explode, but only after it gets him to Tadfield. What a stellar car. 10/10
The husbands try to murder the child with a fireworks gun, that fails, then they watch the child encourage his friends to insult three cosmic beings to death. Yah it actually works, too.
The child then insults Lucifer into the void, and that's it, ba ba boom, apocalypse averted. The husbands do what they do best; get crunk.
Heaven & Hell kidnap the husbands and tries to give them their Worst Employee of the Century rewards, but the husbands survive it via clever trickery and Being A Little Shit, and they ride off into the sunset and confess their love at the Ritz via affectionate insults
the end
season 2
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