#azir’s new groove
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His Imperial Majesty™️
#league of legends#garten of banban#opila bird#Azir#bird up#azir lol#emperor Azir#azir’s new groove#I don’t actually care for banban I just like to make fun of Azir
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In Reference to my most recent reply.
//I know we all enjoy a good parody/Runeterra version of something, but Me and Jack-mun were discussing how to make Emperor’s New Groove. Here’s what we came up with:
Azir - Kuzco
Nasus - Pacha
Xerath - Yzma
Renekton - Krunk
Currently no idea for the rest of the cast, but there can be a good amount of having some fun with it. Also instead of a lama, Azir turns into Rooster but he’s called a chicken due to having too many jokes around the other word for the creature.
If anyone has anything they’d like to tact on, feel free to use this for such.
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Three Crowns
Azir wears three crowns during his second life.
One is his imperial crown, the one that symbolizes a power that wasn’t earned and that he squandered once already. It’s gold and thick and heavy, ostentatious to a fault.
One is the crown of nettles Xerath imposes upon him. It’s a source of torment and a mockery of his old self.
The third is Taliyah’s coronet.
She weaves him as a surprise, based upon his own tastes. It’s fine, artisanal; but not royalty. Yet it fits him and it’s lightweight. Each gem represents one of his friends or lost family, their supports look like small sun discs and it shimmers in the light.
It’s perfect.
Azir has other garments he puts on his head – two main ones for each phase to be exact.
In the imperial phase there was his golden helm, the one in the shape of a falcon head, and the bejeweled headband he had when he came back to life. All symbols of status and royalty – only the latter being authentic to Azir’s true self. Hence him wearing it in his first act of kindness.
The humiliation phase has the cowl of his tunic and the leather falconry hood. All garments that dehumanize him and exist to reduce his power. He didn’t choose any of them and only appreciates when they him avoid heatstroke or feel safe and alone.
The atonement phase has his half-helm, mostly used for battle, and a white silk shawl lined with pearls. It’s delicate and fine, but practical as well. Expensive, but not imperial. Sometimes used as an ornament to embellish his look, sometimes as a veil to conceal himself, since it’s mostly sheer, as the trauma never truly left.
And crucially used to wrap and shield others too.
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Remember this thing?
From the Legends of Runeterra “Empires of the Ascended” cinematic?
It’s called the Seal of the Emperors and it says that it’s crucial to ensure Azir’s power.
When he abdicated, part of the ritual involves him shattering it burning it into a special brazier, so that the land may still prosper under a democracy.
He’s tempted to do it with his eyes closed. Let the moment pass quick, so it doesn’t hurt much. One moment he’s absolute god-emperor, the next he’s just a big hawk with a lot of torture scars and a stone coronet. So quick he cannot feel it.
But then he faces his needs and… no. This cannot be.
I don’t get to escape this time.
Cowardice doomed Shurima once. It cannot happen again.
So he takes his time shattering the seal, crunching it like a biscuit in his strong fingers, and lets it fall into the fire slowly. Keeping his eyes on the metal until it’s melted and gone.
He can feel his parents stirring through the halls. You fool, you small-minded simpleton, you wretch among all wretches. What have you done. You ruined your House, you ruined your land.
But the water runs as smoothly as the first day.
#league of legends#lol#azir#emperor azir#omah azir#azir’s new groove#xerath#shurima#lot#legends of Runeterra#empires of the ascended#I may write a short story about his abdication
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Even after Xerath is taken down and placed somewhere where he cannot hurt no one and no one can hurt him, Azir cannot rest.
For he must put an end to the Darkins, which he also caused with his stupidity and selfishness.
And to come to the root of the problem he must come to the one who shattered his old friends in the first place. Yes: he will climb Mount Targon and find the Aspect of Change, to make a pledge to make it right.
Myisha isn't there, of course (for Azir would have punched her in the face and it wouldn't have been diplomatic). There's a new Aspect, Zoe is her name, and...
Azir sucks at many things, but dealing with a child? That's HIS field.
#league of legends#lol#azir#emperor azir#omah azir#azir’s new groove#zoe#lol zoe#should I call this arc 2?#I just want the Darkins to have something nice
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The heavy restraints Xerath imposes on Azir mean that he cannot articulate his needs. Which can be simple needs such as thirst, hunger or rest, or something more specific – like that point when he’s running a fever and feels as if he’s sizzling from within.
He cannot call for help, look around for a solution, even touch the sore part. All he can do is endure: feathers drenched in sweat, fettered limbs twitching, a constant sense of nausea that won’t ever leave.
The next day he takes the chance to tell Xerath about his situation, even knowing that speaking when not called upon will result in more pain.
“Did anyone come to my father’s side, when he was on his deathbed? Did anyone comfort him?”
“My l-lord, please…”
“DID THEY, AZIR?”
“No, they d-didn’t. He died a-all alone.”
“And alone you shall be, to pay for his life as well as for your other crimes.“
But I didn’t kill him, Azir thinks. What even is his thought process?
“You’re not special, Azir. You’re not an emperor anymore, and you deserve all the pain that you’re receiving. You’ll do like we all did and endure, endure, endure.”
Azir knows it won’t kill him, but… how much can he take before he forgets himself? It’s all so blurred, so… scalding. He can’t even think right.
He remember when he would get sick as a child, and it was Xerath who would embrace him, heal him, bring him ointments and cold compresses and heathy food, and read him books to pass the time when he was too weak to hold them.
But the past is in the past.
“Now get back to the stones. When twilight comes, you’ll get your punishment: how else will this stupid bird ever learn not to speak out of line.”
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The fateful day comes.
After months, years even, of gentility and leisure, Renekton is quelling down.
The days he spent at the palace where Azir put him are the most pleasant he can remember. He lounges in the gardens, fights whenever he has to take something out, and the treatments and perfumes are a comfort setting.
And one day the choice comes to embrace his brother.
They’ve seen each other in the past, through the enchanted glass that has been installed. They held hands. They’ve long spoken. Nasus played song after song for him. Seeing him and coexisting with him is slowly turning into routine once more.
Embracing each other is the final step.
“Only if you’re ready, dearest uncle. His pain is great still.” Azir tells him.
Once Renekton slipped his arms through the bars of the window and strangled Nasus until guards came to his rescue. He took it out on himself, hitting his head and slamming his snout on the walls.
But it was also a long time ago.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Bring him here already. I want to smash that snout in a hug.”
And Nasus comes at last.
He wears a padded outfit to protect himself, there’s a vial of narcotic and a small blunt parrying dagger at the back of his belt, and guards stand by unseen.
Azir waits behind a column, sweating cold.
“Brother… dearest.”
“It’s me, Renekton. It’s me. Come close, if you like.”
Renekton raises his hand, allowing Nasus to touch his. Hands of fur into hands of scale.
“Can I hold you, brother?”
“Yes, Ren. You can. As long as y-“
But Nasus is cut off by Renekton squeezing him so tight he reaches for the vial for a moment. Yet the brotherly warmth of Renekton grounds him, tears bubble up and down his face, and the Butcher’s strong arms keep him near.
“I’m sorry, Nasus. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not you, honey… oh, come here.”
Nasus covers his snout in kisses and tears, holds him tighter and loose again when he realizes he may choke him, and Renekton too weeps of sorrow.
It’s done.
Azir sighs in relief behind the column. He’s seen Nasus self-flagellate about Renekton’s state enough already. This moment is the best he could have wanted.
Then Renekton’s voice raises.
“Where’s Azir, my golden boy?”
Nasus wipes his face. “Come here, baby bird. Come to us.”
And Azir does. Slowly, savoring the moment, in the beautiful twilight of Shurima.
#league of legends#lol#azir#emperor azir#omah azir#Nasus#Renekton#azir’s new groove#brothers reunited at last
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Sympathy for the Devil (Xerath)
There’s something interesting about how Xerath’s name turned to mean “devil” in current Shuriman.
The devil is evil, we’ve been told. He temps you and destroys your salvation and you should avoid him. Follow his opponent – the golden, gleaming, risen, feathered good side – and you’ll be safe.
That’s the way it is. The devil is evil.
If you’re a Christian.
One time I was browsing a “who’s the most evil character in League of Legends” thread. Many people had pointed to Thresh, which he probably is. Others had brought up Mordekaiser, LeBlanc, Hecarim, Swain, Urgot… even Xerath.
The ones I took issue the most were the Demons, most notably Tahm Kench. Why was he so evil, you may ask? Because he’s “Runeterra’s Satan”.
And Satan is evil, of course. It’s not like Demons act like this because it’s in their nature, they kill to feed, and have existed long before many living things. He’s like Satan, Satan is evil because my priest says so, hence he’s evil.
Xerath being turned into a Devil against his will is more an indictment on Shurima than on the box man himself. He was made into a monster, forced into terrible circumstances, and what else could he be.
And if the only way to be heard by the beautiful golden creature is to drag him to his level, breaking his halo, ripping his feathered wings, having him bite the dust and taste blood, be it. There’s not any other way.
Yet between Hell and Heaven, there’s earth. The only place a deposed Celestial thing can walk upon.
Inhabited by people who are flawed, selfish and selfless, gentle and harsh, with the fluidity and rebellion of below mixed with the gentility of above.
In the end the best place to be.
#league of legends#lol#azir#Xerath#xerath needs a hug#azir’s new groove#if applying a reading so catholic to characters based off Egyptian myths and culture is tone-deaf please let me know#it’s not very pertinent but also: what are the Darkins if not corrupted Ascensed? and what do they look like? DEVILS#plus Nasus is a dog and a god#and aside from the blasphemy of it all#he’s both divine and a foul lowly beast#in any case I reiterate: Xerath needs a hug and Azir needs a slap to the face and then a hug
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“May I braid your hair? For your birthday, you know.”
“Why, Azir?”
“Because it’s your birthday, and you should relax.”
Taliyah ended up looking like this.
Lapislazuli, pink quartzes and pearls adorn her hair.
#league of legends#lol#azir#emperor azir#omah azir#taliyah#azir’s new groove#happy birthday girl#trans!taliyah ftw#I’ll confirm it since riot doesn’t
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Taliyah at court
“I wish to speak to you, child. Do sit here, don’t be afraid. In the state I’m in, I couldn’t attack a worm.”
Taliyah drags a chair by Azir’s bedside and watches him as he wraps himself into layers of silk and linen, so much so she can barely see the wings Nasus had mentioned. There’s rocks, outside the tent, used to keep it in place: Azir says one wrong thing and gets clubbed.
“Do you find me a cruel man?” Azir asks.
Yes, and stupid and oppressive too, she wants to say, but the signs of his misery are too palpable and abundant. On a stool by his bed there’s the empty stained cup of the vitality drink he has to consume to feel strong once again, the now dusted brush for the feathers, and some towels damp in sweat.
“You need to understand…”, she says. Azir’s eyes widen. That’s neither a yes nor a no.
“Things aren’t the way they used to be, Azir.” He winces at being called by his birth name instead of my lord. Xerath made him hate that name with every mellifluous strike of the tongue. “Things that in your times would be seen as benevolent have now become cruelty. There’s more voices being heard, more perspectives coming to light. If you keep ignoring all those for your own sake… yes, that would make you cruel. But I don’t think you have to be. Now that you’re here, you have a chance to start anew.”
In such a state? Don’t make me laugh. If there’s anything he can do to make it right, to raise his beautiful city once more, it was lost after his entombment.
“Anyone can change, my lord. If you’ve found it in you to survive an ordeal such as yours, I’m sure you’ll find it in you to see things in a new light. It could bring you a joy you’ve never known.”
“I just know I want to heal, start over from my year-long suffering. And I want to do good.”
“Then come meet the Naasaj. If you treat them gently, they’ll welcome you.”
“No emperor has ever…”
“Then you’ll be the first.”
I respect your wisdom, Nasus, but it’s not in my interest to help a man such as Azir. Whatever disgrace befell him, he remains above requesting the help of lowly weavers.
He’s… he’s been tortured, Taliyah.
What?
He’s been taken by Xerath, he’s held him for more than a year. I adore him, but I cannot care for him on my own. I’ll repay you plentifully, and… make sure he doesn’t forget.
Azir curls up into a ball of sheets and sweaty feathers. His fever is receding, but it will take time.
“Listen, my lord. I feel bad for what happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of that. But don’t think I don’t know what your plans for the weavers are.”
“Then why are you here? Shouldn’t you be… weaving or something?”
She wants to slap him. “Because some people do things for good, Azir. Think about it, the next time you need help. And because Nasus cares for you, and he’s done me good in the past.”
Nasus cares for me? Oh, well. Of course he does, I’m his Emperor and he’s my tutor and advisor.
“We need to band together against Xerath. We includes you. There isn’t much to choose anyway.”
Don’t tell me what to do, Azir would yell. But who’s he to yell, after being disgraced in such a fashion.
What’s left of him.
This mellows Azir out. He wipes his sweat, takes a sip of diluted sleeping powders for the pain, and sits up.
“I started out wrong, child. My sickness mustn’t dominate on my senses. Stay here. I’ll have some drink made, if it pleases you. I want to know more of your… weavers.”
“Do you want me to talk to you?” She asks awkwardly.
“Xerath would read me books when I got sick. He’d never let me go. He smiled at me as if even me growing bored was a slight on his dignity.”
“Did you… care for Xerath?”
Yes, before I forgot myself and him.
“I did, and still I do. If he’s still a man, somewhere.”
That is unexpected for her. She never knew Xerath as anything more than an enemy.
Maybe there’s some good in him.
Maybe he’s just selfish and nostalgic.
“I’ll bring tea for both, alright? This will ease your pain. You’re going to love the weavers, I know.”
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Things Azir learns after his captivity is done and he has to commune with his retinue.
• cooking first and foremost. Xerath forced him to make his own meals with disastrous results, so his retainers helped him get his footing in the kitchen to “not give him the last laugh”. He’s not that into it and never becomes a five-star chef or anything, but he can feed a room, and when they come across a band refugees fleeing the rampaging Xerath they taste imperial meals.
• he’s taught how to sow and mend his clothes by Taliyah – with plenty of finger stinging from his part – so he can keep his tunics in shape. He embroiders a memorial pattern in the dress he wears when he abdicated. I Z I. Imani Zeina Ibrahim.
• to care for Nasus better he learns to give out massages, and one can hardly imagine the Curator’s relief of letting go for once and being cared for by his soft birb son.
Things he already knows how to do that come more useful than running an empire
• playing music
• caring for children
• being authoritative
And I’ll make a scenario with Azir cuddling a baby asap.
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“Who’s your favourite person, Azir?”
My father, he’d say.
His Imperial Majesty Saif VI is strong, fierce and proud. His gaze can freeze the heart of every enemy and his blade is so fine not even shields can parry it.
He shines like the morning sun in his imperial attire, and wears his crown like another piece of himself. On his own he tames the wildest horses and commands the fiercest of his hounds. Soldiers dangle from his lips whenever he speaks, and their heart burn in unison to his for the glory of Shurima.
One day, I pray, I too may be as strong as he.
“Who’s your favorite person, Azir?”
My father, he says.
In truth, I have many favorite people. Taliyah is probably the kindest, just for putting up with me and showing me the right way. I now cherish her like a child of mine and trust her advice blindly. Sivir is the joy of my eyes, a testament for a better future and the work that must be done. But my father remains my favorite, and I pray he too feels the same for me.
My father was my anchor in the darkest days, the light that guided me to hope and fight anew. His embrace is as soft as flower petals under the morning dew, and his voice so gentle it could placate a storm.
His blade is firm and swift, striking quickly and leaving no trace. He can play five instruments, recite whole books, write all forms of poetry, and his stories feel as real as the dreams of my unquiet nights.
And when he speaks to me, when he calls me his own, when his tired smile falters on me in my moments of despair, I rise anew by his side, blessed by the love that gives me purpose.
Thank you for remaining by my side, dearest Nasus.
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A little preview on the next Azir’s New Groove vignette, with a familiar character.
Guess who this is.
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@den-of-evil mentioned how “my” Azir and Zoe would get along if they met.
This got me thinking.
I know the Azir I write isn’t full-canon loyal. He’s softer, more humble, more willing to check himself and weighed by old and new trauma.
I tried to make it clear that this guy is the same who says “go forth, make them kneel” and “Shurima, your Emperor has returned”. Just with a heavy dose of karma and a big gulp of the humble juice.
But at the same time I wanted to know your input.
So… do you like this Azir? Do you think it gels with canon, or it could in the future? Do you think I turned him into an entirely new character or are there still signs of the Emperor of the Sand?
#league of legends#lol#azir#emperor azir#omah azir#azir’s new groove#Shurima#xerath#nasus#taliyah#Sivir#Renekton
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Habits Azir maintains after being rescued:
He would skip meals without realizing it if Nasus, Sivir and the others didn’t bring him three square meals a day. He feels the hunger, but is used to Xerath ignoring his needs, so it doesn’t come into him to request to be fed.
Other times he overeats just for the pleasure of being able to do it again.
He has frequent night terrors – Nocturne eats like a king with him – and frets if left alone. He attempts to use sleeping powders to accommodate this, but he doesn’t like the sensation.
He takes long baths, sometimes scrubbing himself bloody and losing feathers. It’s harder for him in the desert, where water is scarce, but whenever they come onto an oasis he first orders, then gently requests a warm bath. Sometimes he lets Nasus and Akshan tend to him, other times he wants to be alone.
He once has a breakdown in the middle of one of these baths, and Nasus has to carry him out of the tub (rigorously bridal style) wrap him in a towel and comfort him until it’s over. “I apologize for my behavior, Nasus. I have… dark thoughts.”
He’s also very particular about his plumage, preening himself non-stop and ripping every small feather that doesn’t look right to him. It’s slowly growing back in shape, making him look less like “an overused feather duster” (as Sivir put it) and more like the proud bird of prey he’s meant to be. But it’s never fast enough. Sometimes he refuses to be seen entirely, food having to be passed through a window.
Silence and darkness, especially if combined, represent a hefty trigger for him. He’s unable to sleep alone and always needs someone, usually Nasus or Taliyah, by his side. He likes having his hand held tight, his feathers pet and someone talking to him as he fades away.
When they start traveling around Shurima to fix the mess he and Xerath made – first Taliyah’s people, then all the way to Nazumah because I’m finally figuring out what K’Sante’s lore is and I can add him at last – he gets a coach of his own, pulled by sand horses summoned by Azir himself. It’s something that feels regal-ish and allows him to be comfortable in a way that fits him. He spends considerably more time inside than outside, sitting idly at the windowsill, reading books, discussing strategy with his retinue… but he seems to dislike going out.
He gets a new armor, as resplendent as the previous one… but he really doesn’t like wearing the helm. I wonder why having something on his head triggers him *hint hint*
He keeps his eyes low at all times, as Xerath forced him to keep his head bowed in humility. Kai’sa, who doesn’t join in his retinue because she’s busy fighting the Void and all, asks him if his neck hurts. Nasus gently pulls him back up by the chin. Yet he keeps falling into it. So much so he practices his posture with Samira’s help – and emperors usually practice posture as kids.
Finally he wants to go back to wearing jewels, but everything reminds him of his torment. Bracelets become cuffs, necklaces become the torc that removed his powers, ornate belts become the nailed strap Xerath cinched his waist with. He can’t be the ruler he’s meant to be without some shinies, but it takes him time to find the proper ones that don’t bring him back to hell. Sivir conjures other ways for Azir to look imperial and prim: fine fabrics, golden nails for the feathers, a richly embroidered cape with bejeweled pauldrons and a medallion that goes around the shoulders instead of the neck.
“You look so regal I could stab you and rob you” “Thanks, dearest… I owe it to you.”
#lol#league of legends#Azir#emperor Azir#Omah azir#Shurima#Sivir#Nasus#samira#akshan#Taliyah#k’sante#there he is I bet you missed him#he’s a badass and could have used some… usage#azir’s new groove
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Azir vs self-worth
Azir’s mindset as the God Emperor with Absolute Power was that some people are inherently worthier than others. He is of course the worthiest of all worthier ones and as such deserves reverence.
After the Xerath treatment his mindset shifts, in the worse possible way: some people are inherently worthier than others – but he’s not among them, quite the opposite in fact. He’s the lousiest thing, a powerless wretch, capable of nothing and deserving of nothing but scorn and pain.
His retinue of course comes to notice this: Samira proposes an intervention, but Sivir and Nasus dismiss this. Azir is still a proud man, just one whose pride has been stifled and beaten into a corner of his mind, and would shut himself off further into self-hatred and self-pity.
They instead use more subtle, gentle gestures to indicate Azir what he needs. Not just reassurance in his qualities, like his determination, his loyalty and the genuine moments of affection that shine through, but in the inherent worth of anyone.
They bring him treats whenever possible, make sure to comfort him when he has nightmares, help him prime his feathers and get dressed – Azir doesn’t know what to wear without imperial trinkets, and it takes him a while to learn how to do it – and show him around Shurima not in a ceremonial manner, but with the knowledge and spontaneity of commoners.
After Azir formally apologizes and even bows to Taliyah’s weaver folks (a gentle bow of respect, not a touch-the-ground-with-your-head groveling move he’d give to Xerath) promising to make it right and help their economy, she calls him on the side and shows him the latest product of her weaving: a refined stone coronet, with thin embroidery and a singular quartz in the middle. But it’s pretty big for a human being, what does it mean?
Taliyah smiles. “An emperor should wear a crown.”
And something flutters away from Azir’s heart, something heavy and burdensome like chains on a casket.
As a grieving father, he has an inner fondness for young people and can indulge their humor: so he gets on one knee and lets her put it on his feathered head. Despite it being made of stone it’s light and soft.
“It fits you, my lord.”
#lol#league of legends#Azir#emperor Azir#Omah Azir#nasus#Xerath#Sivir#Samira#akshan#Taliyah#Shurima#azir’s new groove#sometimes I treat him nicely see
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