#bai qi x reader

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Tonic For The Heart

Description: Gavin's eyes are sharp, especially when it comes to his beloved partner. He's noticed how she's slipped away, sadness and fatigue enveloping her like a shroud. So he suggests going out, to find ways to make her smile, to coax happiness into her heart once more.

Pairing: Gavin Bai x Female OC (Rowan)

Warnings: Mild sexual content (at the end), suggestive content, mentions of depression/a depressive episode, mentions of anxiety, mentions of OCD

Notes: Hello!!! This is a bit of a personal, self indulgent piece I wrote while I wasn't feeling particularly well mentally. Thinking about the ways Gav would help and be supportive have certainly helped when I've been at my lows, mentally and emotionally, and writing this through was quite cathartic for me. I like to think he'd be supportive and sweet (and like mildly horny but when isn't he). Anyways, I hope this brightens your day, because Gavin would most certainly love you and help however he could no matter what.

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Hands appeared on either side of Rowan, gently drawing her phone from her hands.

“Maybe that’s not such a good idea,” Gavin murmured, turning her phone off and hiding it from view.

Huffing, Rowan crossed her arms, glaring at the floor. “Give me my phone back, Gavin.”

He tsked, arms wrapping around her once again to hold her closer. “No. I know what you’re doing and it will only make things worse.”

She glared harder, wishing she could shrivel up and disappear. Gavin might have had a point, but that didn’t mean she was happy about it.

She’d been trying to make a few final pulls in one of her favourite gacha games, thinking maybe if she got the unit she wanted she would feel a little better.

She should have known better, known that it wasn’t going to make her feel better. But the draw of something shiny and new made her think it could at least offer a scrap of joy in the seemingly depthless fatigue and despair she felt like she was drowning in.

“You don’t know that,” she grumbled, wiggling away from Gavin’s arms and flopping onto her side on the bed.

She’d had a panic attack a few days ago, the first in a while. It had been brought on by family visiting, a cousin thinking they were joking around as they trampled over her carefully constructed boundaries. She’d had to send them away, her hands shaking and her mind screaming. Sweat had beaded on her forehead despite the chill in the air, a vestige of the waning winter.

Then had come the breathlessness, her vision swimming as she struggled to draw in breath, lungs spasming as she gasped and gasped and still nothing seemed to fill her chest. The roil of her belly, the strangled scream lodged in her throat as her hands twitched, unsure of what to do.

Her voice had eventually arrived, as had burning tears that limned the world silver, as though it were beautiful and innocent and painted in starlight.

That’s how Gavin had found her, returning home from errands, still standing in the place she had been when she’d sent her cousin away.

He’d had to coax her from the place she’d been frozen, gently taking her hands and helping her to wash them before taking over the cleanup to make their home feel safe again. He’d had to help her into the showering, murmuring gentle words and promises of safety as he’d ran his fingers through her hair, as he’d rinsed the soap from her body.

And then he had held her, for what seemed like hours, as the afternoon sun exploded as dusk burned across the sky, before the indigo blanket of night wrapped around the world and the stars winked into existence. She hadn’t been able to move, suddenly too tired to do even the small things she had hoped to do that day. To work on a personal project, to watch the new episode of a show she’d been keeping up with, to play the new game she’d just bought.

She’d been unable to do anything but sit there, tucked against Gavin’s chest, silent tears running down her cheeks as she’d stared at the wall. A sitcom she’d already watched a million times played on the television screen, the dialogue nothing more than dull murmurings against her ears.

Rowan had felt exhausted the following day, perhaps even worse than she had in the hours after the attack. Fatigue weighed her body down like lead, despite her chest feeling strangely hollow. She’d felt like a revenant, her flesh rotting, her bones in decay. No blood to be pumped through her deteriorating veins, nothing to coax her cold heart to beat. Her body trapped in the throes of rigor mortis, hardly able to be moved.

Gavin had stayed with her as long as he’d been able, even forgoing his usual morning run, but he’d had to leave for work far too soon. He’d coaxed her from bed before leaving, setting out one of her favourite dresses. It had been crumpled in the dryer, forgotten along with the load of laundry she’d been handling before her cousin had stopped by.

Seeing it had brought tears to her eyes, even as she’d drawn it over her head, mussing her already messy hair. She’d smoothed her hands over the wrinkles, leaning against Gavin as he’d pulled his jacket on, quietly pleading with him not to leave.

He’d had to go, and of course she’d known he’d had to. His job was important to him, and he always worked hard. She couldn’t have ask him to shirk his responsibilities, had already been ashamed that he’d wasted his afternoon and evening off coddling her like a fussy toddler.

But Gavin had still called her when he’d had the moments to spare, and he’d returned home that night with her favourite takeout and a bouquet of fresh peonies that filled the house with the smell of spring.

She’d been so thankful, so grateful for his kindness, his gentle hands as he’d cradled her against his chest again, rubbing her back as he’d told her about his day. But still she’d felt hollow, as though there were a hole where her heart ought to have been, and all his warmth and love seemed to spill through, leaving her just as cold and empty as she’d been that morning.

Listening to Gavin had made her feel even more ashamed, even days later the feeling gripping her heart, crumpling it like paper. Because she’d accomplished nothing when he’d been at work. She’d managed to do the dishes, wipe down the kitchen from their breakfast. But she’d had work she’d wanted to do, projects she’d wanted to put time into.

She’d hardly even had the energy to warm up leftovers for her lunch, and when Gavin had returned home with his bouquet of flowers and her favourite food she’d just been staring at her computer screen, hands trembling above the keyboard, unable to do even the simplest of tasks.

It got better, but it also did not. Her fatigue clinging to her, blurring her mind and slowing her thoughts until she felt as though she were dragging herself through mud. She could do regular chores around the house, but she could not seem to bring herself to do the things she usually loved. She could not work on her projects, she could not focus her attention on any new shows, she could not play any games, even though some part of herself that still lived screamed to do something, to do anything.

Rowan wondered if she would ever be able to shrug off this feeling that swathed her. If she would ever escape the feeling of being empty, of being alive but feeling dead.

She’d plucked her phone from her side table by the bed with the intention of forcing herself to play something, do something. Maybe if she bulldozed her way through something she enjoyed she would feel better. Maybe it would be cathartic. Maybe she would feel warmth spilling into her chest, healing the hole where her heart had been.

And then she’d logged into one of her few mobile games, eyes landing on a new gacha event, promising a shiny new unit that she very much wanted.

This had happened before, and she was certain she needed to speak to a professional about it, but she’d convinced herself that maybe if she got that new unit she would feel better. Not wholly healed, but better enough to play a game, and then afterwards better enough to work on her stagnating projects. That somehow it would have a ripple effect and by the end of the day she would feel better if she just managed to win that unit.

Historically that had not really been the case, and with the randomness of the system it was more likely that she would lose and her last fraying thread of hope would snap and everything would feel so much worse.

Logically, Rowan knew it was good that Gavin had caught her quickly, and yet still she found herself infinitely annoyed with his meddling.

She rolled onto her stomach, pressing her face against her pillow. “Just leave me to rot, then.”

A snort, followed by a sigh as the bed shifted by Gavin’s movements. She felt his hands at her side, gently rolling her onto her side. “I could never do that.”

Rowan huffed, flicking her eyes away, towards the wall behind him so she didn’t have to look at the amber of his eyes, gold with the light of the morning sun spilling across his face. Concern wrinkled his brow and twisted his mouth, and his touch was gentle as he brushed her hair back from her cheek.

How horrible she was, how ashamed he must be. To have a wife who could not shake something off even days after the event.

“Still not feeling good?” He asked, his voice soft as he rested his hand on her hip.

“No,” she muttered, staring straight ahead, avoiding his gaze.

“Rowan, why won’t you look at me?”

Her bottom lip quivered, but she resolutely looked ahead. “It’s been days, Gavin. This is shameful behaviour. You must be so embarrassed by how I’m acting.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” he said, his voice hitching. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I’m being ridiculous. I’m being stupid. It’s been days and I still feel like shit.”

He sighed, cupping her cheek. “You’re not being ridiculous. I know your head works a little differently from mine, but that doesn’t mean you’re being ridiculous. Maybe we just need to try something new.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t want to try something new. I shouldn’t have to try something new. I should be able to just feel better. This doesn’t bother people the way it does me, and not for nearly as long as this.”

She rolled over quickly, facing the wall, unable to look away from Gavin a moment longer unless she was facing away from him. She couldn’t bear to look into his eyes, to face him. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she be normal.

“I miss your face,” he cooed, sounding upset even as his arm wrapped around her waist, his breath brushing against the back of her neck. “Why did you turn away?”

“So I don’t have to look at you. So you don’t have to look at your stupid wife.”

“Rowan,” his tone was less soft now, the gentleness giving way to something unyielding. The stone of a mountain beneath the soft grass and wildflowers of the meadow that blanketed it.

“You’re not stupid,” he continued, turning her back around, his expression somber. “You’re not stupid, and I don’t think you’re stupid. And I’m not ashamed of you. I just want to help.”

His gaze wavered and he sighed, leaning his brow against hers. “Just let me help you.”

An ache spiderwebbed from her chest, reaching through her body, cracking against her bones, releasing her marrow to pool in her veins.

“I don’t know what can help,” she said, her words soft as breath. “Nothing seems to help.”

He ran his hand over her back, massaging gently. “Well then why don’t we try something new?”

“Like what?” She couldn’t help snapping, feeling surly.

There was something about asking for help that always grated against her, about doing something differently than how she did. Like there was something wrong with her, like she couldn’t handle things on her own. Like she were a toddler, and needed her hands held to get through the simplest of tasks.

Of course, maybe there was something wrong with her.

It still grated, still made her want to shrivel up and vanish from the world.

Gavin clicked his tongue, pinching her cheek. “Don’t say no yet, you don’t know what I’m going to suggest.”

Rowan frowned, batting away his hand. “I think I liked it better when you were shy about touching me.”

He snorted. “Like when we first started dating?”

“You wouldn’t have pinched my cheek then.”

Gavin laughed, his hand trailing around the waistband of her sleep shorts, fingers slipping past it. “There’s a lot I wouldn’t have done then.”

She sucked in a breath, hands balling in the material of his shirt as he dipped his fingers lower. “Gavin.”

“But now I can show you all the ways I love you,” he drawled, mischief in his eyes.

Rowan flattened her hands against his chest, shoving him back. “Gavin, not now.”

He retracted his hand, although his grin remained. “I think I like it more now. I feel happy touching you.”

“Horny jerk,” she muttered, pushing him further away as he laughed.

“Okay, okay,” he conceded, holding his hands up, palms out. “I’m done teasing. But I do want you to hear me out.”

Pulling her arms back, Rowan sighed. “Fine. What were you thinking?”

His smile softened. “I think we should go out today.”

She was already shaking her head, her stomach dropping. The last thing she wanted to do was go out while she still felt so poor. “Oh Gavin, I don’t know. I don’t want to go out and-”

“For me?” He asked, cutting her off. “At least try, pumpkin. It can’t hurt.”

Face burning, Rowan looked away. “Okay, I guess.”

He beamed, closing the distance between them to press a kiss to her brow. “Great. Then let’s get up.”

“You haven’t told me where,” she said, frowning as Gavin sat up.

His only response was to kiss her cheek. “It’s a surprise. You’ll have to get up to find out.”

Steeling herself, Rowan yielded, letting Gavin draw her from bed before he straightened the sheets, telling her to get dressed. She supposed for him, at least, she would try, and see what he had planned for the day.

***

Rowan hadn’t known what to expect, although finding herself on a bench next to a paved path that ran alongside the local lake had not been it.

“Gavin, what are we doing?” She asked, watching curiously as he laced up the pastel pink and blue roller-skates he’d helped her put on. Another pair was propped against the leg of the bench waiting for Gavin.

He grinned. “Remember when you mentioned that you thought we should take more walks together?”

She frowned. “Yeah?”

“And remember when you were looking at those roller skates online?”

She arched a brow, peeking down at the skates he was nearly done lacing up, the pair she had been pining after for weeks now. “I do.”

“Well why not both?” He asked, smiling wider as he finished up with her skates, moving to sit next to her.

“Gavin I haven’t exactly roller-skated before, I’m not going to be the best,” she said, feeling awkward as her feet slipped out from under her and having to drag them back.

“That’s okay,” he murmured, bumping his nose against hers, his lips only just grazing hers. “I’ll be here with you, we’ll do it together.”

She sighed as he pulled away, crossing her arms over her knees as he pried off his shoes and tucked them into the backpack he’d brought along. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

“Of course I remembered,” he said, arching a brow as he shot her an incredulous look. “I try to remember everything I can about you.”

Her face flamed and she looked down, watching his deft fingers as they began lacing up his own skates.

“And it wasn’t exactly hard to figure out about the skates,” he teased, drawing her attention back to his face. “You left the tab open on your computer for weeks.”

She balked. “You broke into my computer?”

He shrugged, finishing up with his skates. “I just checked out the website when you forgot to close your laptop when you went to the bathroom.”

“Gavin,” she scolded.

Another shrug as he stood. “I wanted it to be a surprise, I couldn’t just ask you.”

Rowan frowned at his offered hand, stewing over the fact that he’d snooped on her computer when she wasn’t there. “That’s not a habit of yours, is it?”

He didn’t respond, although his mischievous smile suggested that occasionally it was.

“Come on, pumpkin,” he said, reaching his offered hand closer. “It’s warm today, it will be perfect to try out the skates.”

“Alright,” Rowan said, taking his hand, letting him draw her to her feet. She felt hesitant, even as he gently pulled her down the path, the bag he’d brought with their shoes slung over his shoulder.

“It’s alright, I promise,” he said, keeping hold of her hand as she stumbled behind him. “I’m right here.”

Her legs shook as she tried to follow beside him, her stomach lurching when the trail dipped and she started picking up speed. “Gavin, how do I make it stop?”

He only squeezed her hand, explaining how to turn her feet to the side to slow her descent. Heart in her throat, clutching Gavin’s hand so tightly she was sure she was cutting off circulation, she did her best to follow his instructions. Relief flooded through her as she began to slow, and she slumped against Gavin’s side when they came to a stop.

“See?” He said, his words warm as they threaded with the wind. He ran a hand over her hair, smoothing back her bangs. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”

She nodded, even as she continued to clutch his side, legs shaking like they were made of jelly.

“Why don’t we keep going?” He suggested, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. “You’ll feel more confident once you’ve tried them for a bit.”

“Gavin, I’m terrified I’ll fall over,” she whined, squeezing her eyes shut. “And this isn’t making me feel any better.”

“It’s only been a few minutes,” he murmured, brushing her hair back. “Some things take time, and you’ve only just started.”

She wanted to protest more, wanted to curl up in a ball and draw a soft blanket over her body and melt away. The sun felt as though it were piercing her eyes, the pollen in the air stuffing her nose. She was already sweating, from anxiety more than any real physical exertion, and her stomach was in knots as small groups of people and couples passed them by. A few teenagers shot them a few weird looks, and a woman walking her dog snorted as Rowan stumbled forward.

“You wanted to learn to skate anyways, didn’t you?” Gavin asked, taking her face in his hands and tilting her head up, so she couldn’t see anything but him, but the glittering gold of his eyes. They were so reminiscent of starlight she imagined she was floating in the middle of the unending darkness of space, a trail of stardust and light guiding her way towards something wonderful, towards the warmth of the stars that loved her.

“I did,” she said. “But Gavin, I-”

“No buts, okay?” He asked, smiling even as his brow creased. “Let’s try for a little while longer. And if you like it then we can come here more often.”

“Okay,” she grumbled, pulling away from his side.

“Don’t pout,” he said, ducking his head as his eyes fell to her mouth, running the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip. “Or else I’ll have to do something about it.”

“Like what?” She asked, raising her brows. “Are you going to arrest me, officer?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” he mused. “I could handcuff you.”

She laughed, a scrap of mirth bursting in her chest like embers of a flame. “Handcuff me to what?”

Humming, Gavin leaned closer, his nose bumping with hers, a languid, wicked smile arcing across his lips. “Would you like to find out?”

The tightness in her belly and the trembling in her legs weren’t brought on by anxiety now, and although Gavin had been teasing her, Rowan couldn’t help but feel a little thankful. His taunts were distracting her from the icy anxiety that had her stomach roiling and the leaden feeling she had been carrying deep in her bones for days now.

“I’d say you’ll have to catch me first, but I don’t think I’m going to get very far,” she admitted.

“Well maybe you just need a little practice.”

She smiled again, those flickering embers beginning to catch on the tinder in her heart. At the very least she could try.

***

Although Rowan had agreed to try roller-skating for the day, she hadn’t expected Gavin to take such advantage of the opportunity. They skated for what felt like years, although surely couldn’t have been more than a few hours.

He worked out every day, and seemed to be an expert in every sport and outdoor activity, including skating. He glided effortlessly down the path, not even breaking a sweat as he skated.

Rowan, on the other hand, felt exhausted after twenty minutes, her legs shaking from exertion and sweat pouring down her back. She kept tripping over seemingly nothing, shrieking whenever the path started going downhill until she’d managed to completely stop. Her hand was like a claw in Gavin’s, clutching it so tight her knuckles had long since turned white.

But despite that, Gavin persisted, coaxing her forward down the path, the lake glistening like it was made up of precious gems beneath the afternoon sun.

She knew her legs were going to ache the next day, having never roller-skated for so long before, having never roller-skated at all before now. But she reached a point in the day where she no longer cared, lungs heaving as she tried keeping up with Gavin, wiping sweat from her brow.

He paused a few times, directing them to benches that looked out over the lake. He offered her water and snacks that he’d stowed away in the bag slung over his shoulders, but after a few minutes he would stand, dragging her with him. Giving her enough time to rest, but not enough to think too much about anything other than getting to sit for a few minutes and have something to drink.

Although she did start desperately craving curry of all things, and a sweet drink. Maybe a mixed cocktail, something with a fruity flavour and a sugary base.

“Gavin,” she said, breaking the comfortable quiet that had draped over them as they sat, staring out at the lake.

He raised a brow, watching her from the corner of his eye as he took a long drink from his water bottle. His throat bobbed, a trickle of water slipping from the lip of the bottle and slipping down his throat.

It snagged her attention, her train of thought derailing and crashing in a burst of flames as she took in his appearance. The sweat that beaded on his brow, the way the sun gilded his hair, the way it set his eyes alight like they were made of sunfire.

He swallowed again, throat bobbing, and Rowan’s stomach twisted, an ache blooming between her legs that had nothing to do with how long they’d been skating.

Gavin’s brow arched higher and he lowered the water bottle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The movement summoned a memory in Rowan’s mind, of Gavin kneeling between her legs, wiping his mouth as he grinned, his eyes so dark they seemed to smolder like fiery embers.

“Rowan?” His voice yanked her back to the present, his hand cupping her cheek as his eyes searched hers, concern staining his tone. “Is something wrong? Your face is red.”

She pulled back, shaking her head furiously, trying to dispel the heady memory. “No, sorry. I’m alright. I was just lost in thought for a second there.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he gave her a bemused smile. “You’re sure.”

“Very sure,” she answered, hastily grabbing her own water bottle and taking a long sip.

He tipped his head to the side, still looking bemused, but the light in his eyes turning mischievous.

“Did you want to ask me something?” He asked.

Rowan nodded as she clutched the water bottle between her hands, willing all the desire in her body to go away. She would never hear the end of it if he found out he’d turned her on by accident. She also would never get a chance to have that curry and sweet drink today, maybe tomorrow too, knowing Gavin.

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out to get dinner,” she said, picking at a thread on her sleeve. “I know we had takeout a few days ago, but…” She trailed off, not sure what else to say.

“Of course we can,” he said, his smile gentler now. “What were you thinking?”

“I kind of really wanted curry,” she said. “And a cocktail. Or maybe two.”

Brow arched, Gavin chuckled. He reached out to cup her face, ducking his head to brush his lips against hers. “We can do whatever you want.”

“Really?” She asked, her voice squeaking as the kiss reignited the ache in her core she had hoped to stifle.

“Really,” he said, lips trailing from the corner of her lips down her throat. “As long as it will make you happy.”

She giggled, thoughts growing hazy as he nipped at the corner of her jaw. “Gavin, we’re in public.”

“And?”

She pinched his side, earning nothing but a heady chuckle and his teeth against her throat.

“Gavin,” she chastised. Although her heart wasn’t entirely in it, her mind slipping away as she imagined all the things she wanted him to do to her.

But she was craving that food so much right now. Surely he could wait a few hours. Surely they both could.

“Gavin please,” she said, a little more firmly this time.

He paused, looking up at her from beneath the fringe of his bangs. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she promised, running her fingers through his hair. “I just kind of really want to get some food before anything else.”

His eyes closed for a moment as he pulled away. He took a steadying breath, his smile soft as he opened his eyes. “Of course. Then we should probably start heading back.”

He stood first, offering her his hand. And this time Rowan didn’t hesitate, letting him draw her back down along the lake.

***

They were both sweaty by the time they arrived back at home, and changed quickly into fresh clothes before heading back out. Rowan’s legs were already beginning to ache, and she knew she was going to be sore when she woke up the next day. But she was certain she wouldn’t mind too much. Maybe Gavin would take her skating again soon, until her body was used to the movements and no longer ached afterwards.

Hands intertwined, they wandered through the city, electing to walk rather than drive.

“It’s good to walk around sometimes,” Gavin had said, although when Rowan had countered that they’d just been on their feet all afternoon he’d only chuckled. Promised that all the extra exercise and movement would make her feel better.

Whether that was true or not was yet to be seen, but she was certain that despite the early desire that had kindled in her veins, it was very unlikely anything would be happening tonight. She could already feel fatigue creeping in at the edges of her consciousness, the kind of full body fatigue that only came from way more physical exertion than she was used to.

She wasn’t sure if Gavin’s efforts would truly help to soothe her heart, but she did know that she would sleep very, very well that night.

She slumped against him as they finally arrived at the restaurant, eyes falling closed as they waited for the hostess to take down their information and put them on the waiting list.

“Hey,” Gavin murmured, brushing his knuckles across her cheek as they sat in the low chairs lining the walls of the entrance as they waited for a table to open up.

Rowan groaned, readjusting as she tried to snuggle against his side.

“Don’t fall asleep yet,” he cooed, pressing his lips to her brow. “We haven’t even eaten anything yet.”

“I feel sleepy,” she muttered, cracking her eyes open to peek up at him.

“It’s all that sunshine and exercise,” he teased, trailing his lips along the curve of her jaw. “You need to get out more.”

“I go out,” she argued, which she only realized was a weak rejoinder once it had left her lips. Gavin straightened, his grin impish as he caught her eye.

“You should go out more,” he said, snorting as she rolled her eyes. “I’m serious. Maybe it will help.”

“I don’t know if there’s anything that can help me,” she grumbled, crossing her arms as she slumped in her seat. “I might just be broken.”

“You’re not broken,” he said, reaching for her hand, prying it away from where she’d tucked it beneath her arm. “But maybe starting some new habits will help so you don’t feel so bad when this happens again.”

She nodded, muttering out a quiet “I guess” like a morose child.

“You could come out with me on my run tomorrow,” Gavin suggested, massaging her hand. “That would be a good place to start.”

“I don’t think I’m going to be waking up before noon after today,” she said, sighing. “I already feel exhausted.”

“Something in the evening then,” he said, reaching for her other hand. “We can go to my gym. Or there’s a new pool that opened that we could try. It’s pretty quiet in the evenings.”

“Do we have to do something tomorrow?” She whined, twisting in her seat to face him, trying to summon her most pitiful puppy dog eyes and pout to sway him. “I’ll be so tired, babey.”

But Gavin did not cave, instead snorting as he released her hand. “It’s good to start better habits as soon as you can. And besides, we can do it together. It will be fun.”

Rowan groaned, staring up at the ceiling. Working out at all sounded like the exact opposite of fun.

Maybe if she didn’t bring it up again he would forget. And they could watch a movie or play a game tomorrow evening instead.

The sound of rustling at her side drew Rowan’s attention back to Gavin as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“What are you doing?” She asked, peeking over his shoulder, momentarily forgetting her earlier chagrin.

“Putting it in my calendar for tomorrow so I don’t forget,” he said, arching a brow as his eyes caught hers. “So neither of us forgets.”

Rowan wrinkled her nose, frowning at the implication that Gavin had already guessed she’d hoped he would forget about working out tomorrow evening.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he pouted. He tucked his phone away, reaching for her face again. “I love your smile.”

“I don’t want to smile, you’re trying to torture me.”

Warm laughter rang through the room, filling the air with light, as though she were being swept up towards the sun.

“It’s not torture,” Gavin insisted, stroking her cheek as he continued to laugh. “I promise. I really think it could help.”

But before Rowan could argue any further, the hostess called their name, beckoning them over to follow her into the restaurant.

Gavin was grinning far too widely for her liking as he took her hand, drawing her from her seat and following behind the hostess.

“If I’m honest, I have a selfish reason for wanting you to come out with me tomorrow evening too,” he whispered, leaning close so his lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

Although Gavin hadn’t said anything particularly improper, still Rowan felt her face burning. He was so close, his breath sending shivers down her spine. His words tangled in her mind, his voice twining around her ribs and looping through her veins and nerves, like a languid summer wind rattling leaves and branches as it passed by.

“What do you mean?” She asked, voice quivering, her legs wobbling like jelly.

He hummed, the sound warming her veins, liquid heat pooling in her core. She wasn’t expecting the scrape of his teeth, gasping as she felt them against her ear.

“You’ll have to wait and see,” was his final response before he peeled away, moving to pull out a chair for her to sit.

Rowan didn’t know how she made it the final few steps to the table, falling back into her chair before Gavin moved to take his seat. The hostess was chattering about something, but Rowan didn’t catch it. Her words sounded like they were coming from underwater, garbled and slurred and strange.

All she did know was that her face was burning and her legs were shaking and she wasn’t sure if it was from fatigue or Gavin’s teasing. Maybe both.

She drained the water set at the table before the server arrived, wishing it would clear her mind and settle her racing thoughts. At the very least she could feel her face beginning to cool, and she heaved a sigh of relief as she set her glass to the side.

“Dehydrated?” Gavin asked, peeking at her over the menu as he flipped through it. “Did I not bring enough water?”

She huffed, refusing to make eye contact. “Something like that.”

He hummed, propping his chin in hand, smirking. “Or are you maybe craving something else?”

She kicked him, but even as he winced Gavin laughed, reaching across the table for her hand.

“I love you,” he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to her knuckles before releasing her hand. “I love you so much.”

Rowan felt baffled as he leaned back, lifting his menu to once again peruse the options. He was telling her he loved her now? After she’d kicked him?

“Gavin, are you feeling okay?” She asked. “Did you get too much sun?”

He blinked, seeming just as baffled as she’d been. “No. Why?”

“I think you might be delusional,” she said, leaning forward to press the back of her hand against his brow. “Maybe you have a fever?”

“I don’t have a fever,” he said, gently batting her hand away. “What’s this about?”

Rowan sank back into her seat, pouting. “Well you said that you loved me.”

“I do love you.”

“After I kicked you.”

A pause, his bemused smile growing wider, brighter as understanding flashed in the amber of his eyes.

“I love you always,” he said, far too smoothly. It made her belly twist, made the heat in her core burn as though her bones were kindling for a wildfire. “Even when you kick me.”

She chewed on her bottom lip, looking away. She struggled to keep the flush she could feel creeping across her body in check. She also struggled against the urge to kick Gavin again.

Rowan was starting to think going out today was more for him than her.

“You’re paying for dinner,” she grumbled, snatching up her menu and opening it with a flick. “And I’m ordering a mai tai.”

“As you wish,” he said, voice warming around the edges, like sun-warmed honey.

“And I want crab rangoons for an appetizer,” she muttered, feeling particularly surly after being teased.

“We can get whatever you want, pumpkin,” he promised. “Do you want to order some things to share?”

Rowan hesitated. Part of her rebelled against acting anything but a petulant child, still annoyed that he’d teased her. That he always managed to surreptitiously tease her in public, leaving her on the edge of becoming a mess and unable to do a thing about it.

But she also did want to share some plates, wanted to spear food right off of Gavin’s plate when he wasn’t looking. Whatever he ordered always ended up tasting better anyways.

“We can get some noodles,” he suggested, leaning forward again, brows raised. She knew he was trying to make peace for teasing her earlier. “And a few different curries if you want.”

“And crab rangoons?”

“Of course.”

Rowan snapped her menu shut again, already knowing exactly what she wanted. She smiled, feeling a little lighter than she had that morning when she had felt like a corpse walking. “Okay, I think we should do that.”

“Perfect timing,” Gavin beamed. “I think that’s our server now.”

“Don’t forget my mai tai,” she added, pointing to the small menu of drink specials propped up in the middle of the table.

He took her hand again, squeezing gently. “I could never forget anything about you.”

She rolled her eyes, but her heart softened all the same. Even if he was talking about her drink order.

***

Dinner was delicious, and for a few brief moments Rowan forgot everything but how content she felt as she clutched the bag of their leftovers in one hand and Gavin’s arm in her other.

She might have had more than one cocktail. Maybe two. Maybe three. Blessedly, Gavin said nothing. He’d only smiled, helping to pack away their leftovers and tuck them into the bag they were given before paying the bill.

She leaned against him, her head empty but for a dawn-coloured haze and the smell of his cologne.

“You smell nice,” she mumbled, dropping her head so it fell against his shoulder. “You should wear this more often.”

“Anything for you, love,” he said, laughing when she brushed her lips against his throat.

“Why are you always so kind,” she muttered, peeling away. “I haven’t exactly been a ray of sunshine lately. Why are you doing all of this?”

His brow creased, the light of the streetlights flaring to life catching in his eyes, turning them gold. They were like stars, guiding lights that kept her safe. His smile was small, almost amused at her question.

“Because I love you,” he said, squeezing her hand so tight it nearly hurt. Like he didn’t want to let her go, like he was scared of what would happen if he let her go, if she slipped from his grasp.

“I love you, and I want to protect you,” he said, drawing her to the side, so he could hold her gaze. “I want to take care of you. I would never hold your feelings against you.”

She wanted to protest, opening her mouth to argue. She was being surly, selfish, lazy. She wasn’t doing anything, she was morose. She was a rainstorm stretching darkness across the sky, plunging the world into a chilled, damp misery.

Gavin’s gaze hardened, if only for a moment. His mouth pressed into a thin line, and he reached up to cup her cheek, pressing the pad of his thumb against her lips.

“No arguing,” he said. His tone was firm, although there was still some of that kindness.

She considered licking his finger to see what would happen, but decided against it. She was sure Gavin would only use it to his advantage somehow.

“All I want to do is take care of you, and help you feel better,” he said. “I love you regardless of how you’re feeling. Whether you’re struggling or not. I’m here for you. Always.”

Rowan’s eyes burned, all thoughts of licking his thumb to tease him gone. The world was blurring at the edges, painted in messy strokes of quicksilver as he spoke. Her heart ached, ribs fracturing against the pressure of it as his words slipped through her veins, pumped through her with every erratic beat of her heart.

“And when you have these attacks, I want you to lean on me. Let me take care of you until you feel better again.”

Rowan sniffled, her bottom lip wobbling. She didn’t have any words, her throat closing up in anticipation of sobs building in her chest.

“Don’t cry,” Gavin cooed, his hand sliding away from her lips, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Her lip continued wobbling, and she closed her eyes as the world was drowned in silver, blurring so she couldn’t make out anything but the gold of his eyes.

“It’s hard not to,” she cried. “You can’t just say sweet things like that.”

“But I want to,” he murmured, leaning close until their brows bumped together. “I want to tell you sweet things every day.”

“Then you’ll have to put up with me crying.”

“Are they at least happy tears?”

She sniffled, offering him a wobbly smile. “Maybe.”

A huff of laughter ghosted against her lips. “Then I’ll just wipe your tears away until you can smile.”

She cracked her eyes open, catching the light in his own. “I’m smiling right now, aren’t I?”

He chuckled, catching her off-guard as he pressed his lips to hers, tongue swiping over her bottom lip as she gasped.

“I love your smile,” he murmured, breaking away, beaming as though they weren’t pressed up together at the edge of an alley at dusk. “I’ll make sure you can always smile.”

“You’ll have your work cut out for you,” she said, smiling wryly.

“I’d do anything for you,” he breathed, offering one last, painfully chaste kiss to her lips before stepping back. “Although we should probably head home before it gets too late.”

She giggled, wiping the corners of her eyes. “I do feel like I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

“I can help with that.”

Rolling her eyes, Rowan shook her head. “I don’t think much showering would get done then.”

He pouted, taking her hand as they began walking down the street once more. “I would make sure you get clean…” he trailed off, as though he were about to say more, but had thought better of it.

Rowan pressed her lips together to stifle her smile as she hummed. She was trying to sound disapproving, but it sounded more like she was considering his suggestion.

Which she might have been. Depending on how tired she was when they got home.

Gavin’s eyes alighted on something to the side and he paused, drawing Rowan to a halt beside him.

“What is it?” She asked, curious as she turned to search for what he was looking at.

A few feet from them was a neon flashing sign for an arcade. The door was open to let in the evening spring air, and sugary techno music poured onto the street, undercut by the beeps and pings of the machines and games inside.

“Do you want to go in?” She asked, tilting her head towards the arcade. “I don’t think we’ve ever been.”

He hummed. “Would that be okay with you? I think it might be fun. Maybe there’s a game we can play together.”

Rowan bobbed her head, delight bubbling in her chest. “I would love that.”

He smiled, drawing her along with him. “I’ll even let you pick the first game.”

Rowan winced as they stepped into the arcade, the music much louder now that they were inside. She felt like she had to practically shout to be heard above the music. “I’ve never been to an arcade before! I don’t know what to pick!”

“We’ll have to take a look!” Gavin said, squeezing her hand as they walked up to the front counter.

They had to purchase two little cards, loaded with credits to use on the machines rather than coins. The staff member at the front explained it to them quickly as she loaded up their cards. It was meant to replace using change and tokens, especially since many of the newer machines didn’t accept any coins at all. She also directed them to little self-serve stations around the arcade where they could load more money onto their cards if they ran out.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, Gavin drew Rowan deeper into the arcade once he had been handed the receipt for their cards. “What do you want to do first?”

She cast her gaze around, frowning as they wandered around, trying to decide on one of the many colourful, flashing machines. “I’m not sure. There’s just so many.”

“Do you want a plushie?” He asked, directing her attention to a massive claw machine next to a pacman game, neon pinks and greens and blues flashing around the pile of stuffed animals trapped within the case.

She clapped her hands together, walking up to the machine. “I do! But I’m no good at these.”

“That’s alright. I’ll win one for you,” Gavin promised, brushing a kiss against her brow. “Which one do you want?”

Rowan pointed to a fluffy teal otter grinning up at them from the side of the pile. “That one please!”

He swiped his card against the card reader on the machine, the claw jerking to the starting position as a little chime sounded from speakers embedded inside the glass case.

“This shouldn’t be too hard,” Gavin mused, taking hold of the toggle stick and moving the claw.

***

As it happened, it was hard. Rowan had to cover her mouth with both hands to stifle her laughter as Gavin struggled to move the claw. She’d lost count of how many attempts it had been now, but still Gavin persisted, intent on getting the otter.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” she said, resting her hand against his arm. She readjusted her other arm, clutching at the few plushies he had managed to snag. They just weren’t the otter. “I can live without it.”

He sighed, hanging his head. “But you wanted it.”

“I want to have fun with you more,” she said, her voice soft as she leaned against his side. “Why don’t we look at some other games?”

Gavin shot one last glare at the otter, smirking at them from the other side of the glass, before relenting. “Alright, pumpkin. What would you like to do next?”

Rowan tapped her cheek, peering around the room. “Why not a dancing game?”

Gavin paled, even as he coughed, trying to look nonchalant. “A dancing game?”

“Like dance dance revolution,” she said, dragging him across the room. She could see the flashing pad that they would need to stand on to dance, and there wasn’t anyone around the game. It was the perfect opportunity.

“Are you sure?” He asked, scratching at the back of his neck. “You know I’m not that good of a dancer.”

Rowan clambered onto the platform before the screens, pouting as Gavin continued to hesitate. “Please, babey? For me? I wanna play this one.”

His eyes closed, and he ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. His shoulders slumped in defeat before he climbed up next to her, taking the plushies from her arms and setting them on top of the machine. “Alright. Why don’t you pick the song.”

Rowan squealed, mirth in her heart and her veins as she swiped her card before scrolling through the different options. There were a lot of songs that she recognized, which made it difficult to settle on just one.

“I think we’ll have to do this one a few times,” she muttered, scanning the songs she was slowly choosing between. “I want to try all of them.”

Gavin coughed again, covering his mouth as if to hide his wince. “All of them?”

“Yes,” she insisted, crossing her arms as she stepped back, finally settling on a song. “All of them!”

“What about the other games?”

She tipped her head to the side, hoping her smile was as innocent as she was trying to make it. “Well physical activity will help make you feel better after all those losses, won’t it?”

Gavin blinked, taken aback. For a few moments he seemed to have entirely short-circuited, unable to come up with a single response. But then the light slowly returned to his eyes, and his lips slid up into a sly smile. “I’ll remember that for later.”

His smile quickly fell away once the music started up. He was hyper focused, taking the game very seriously.

And at first it worked out well. While Rowan stumbled over stepping on the right squares as they lit up, too focused on giggling at Gavin’s serious expression, he managed to hit every one of them with ease.

But then the song hit the chorus and the game picked up speed, the movements becoming more complex, and suddenly Gavin was not doing so well.

Rowan couldn’t stop laughing, even as she gasped for breath as the pace continued to pick up. Her cheeks were hurting by the time they’d cycled through all of the songs she wanted to try, sweat slipping down her back. Her legs felt like jelly, but her head felt lighter than air. Like she was made of clouds and spun sugar. Of gossamer and wind.

“That was so much fun,” she gushed, taking hold of Gavin’s arm.

He felt steadier than her, although he was wobbling a little as he scooped up the plushies from the claw machine. “I’m glad you had fun.”

“Did you?” She asked, taking the plushies from his arms. Ice water seemed to drip through her, like icicles melting in spring, puddling where there had once been warmth. Maybe she had pushed too much, and now he was unhappy after being forced to play a game he didn’t like.

But Gavin only squeezed her closer to his side, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. “Of course I did. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

She frowned, confused even as the chill in her veins melted away beneath the sun of his words. “What do you mean?”

“You were laughing. How could I not have fun?”

“Gavin,” she groaned, even as her face burned. “You’re such a dork.”

“And you’re so cute when you’re flustered,” he teased, dropping a kiss to her cheek before dragging her away before she could protest.

They wandered around the arcade aimlessly after that, pausing every few moments to try out another game. There was Pac-Man, Street Fighter, Donkey Kong, Space Invaders. They even tried pinball for a while, but gave up when it was clear neither of them were particularly good at it.

They were just passing by the prize counter when Rowan froze, eyes falling on the fluffy teal otter sitting on one of the shelves.

“Gavin,” she gasped, yanking on his sleeve. She pointed to the otter, its expression seeming to say ‘come win me! You need me!’ “Look!”

He blinked, narrowing his eyes as he scanned the shelf the otter sat on. “We need six thousand points to redeem it.”

“How many do we have?” Rowan asked, wrinkling her brow as she lifted her card.

Gavin headed towards one of the self-serve stations, checking the balance of points on his card. He frowned, brow creasing. “Only two thousand.”

Rowan hummed, checking the balance on hers. “Two thousand too. Could we maybe combine them?”

Gavin hummed, eyes scanning the arcade. “Wait here, I’m going to go find an employee.”

Rowan waited as he vanished from view. Without Gavin beside her she could feel the fatigue of the day creeping in. After dinner she’d had a burst of energy, a second wind to keep her going through the evening, but it was waning now. She wanted to lean against Gavin’s chest, or drink a sugary drink. Or maybe both.

Gavin reappeared as she was slumping against the wall, her eyes so heavy she could hardly keep them open.

“Where’d you go?” She asked, her voice sounding a little slurred as she reached her arms towards him.

He let her draw him close, one hand sliding up her back and massaging her neck. “I was asking how long the arcade is open until.”

She frowned, exhaustion surely muddling her thoughts so she couldn’t understand what he was saying. That and the three mai tais she’d had. “Why?”

“I’m going to get enough points to win that otter for you,” he said, beaming. “It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Gavin we’ve been here for like an hour and all we have is four thousand points between us.”

He chuckled, ruffling her hair before releasing her. “But we spent twenty of that at the claw machine, and that doesn’t offer points.”

“What games do you wanna play then?” She asked, reaching for him again. She was feeling so tired, and she just wanted to be close. Wanted to be close to him where it was warm and safe.

“I want to start with that basketball game,” he said, pointing to a game a few aisles over where a line of basketball hoops were arranged.

Rowan clapped her hands, a surge of energy flowing through her like lightning in a storm. “You’re so good at basketball, babey.”

He scratched at the back of his neck with his free hand, the tips of his ears stained red. “I’m alright.”

But still Rowan beamed, knowing that Gavin was actually amazing at it. Sometimes, when the weather was nice and he met up with a few friends and colleagues, she would tag along, watching as he played from the bleachers. He always looked so focused and serious, and yet there was always a soft light in his eyes, a happiness kept hidden under the serious set of his jaw.

Gavin swiped his card in front of one of the basketball games, a handful of miniature basketballs streaming out in front of them. Rowan watched, utterly enchanted, as he made basket after basket, swiping his card again and again as more basketballs rolled in front of him.

He won so many times in a row a small crowd gathered behind them, ooo-ing and aaaw-ing as he won again and again, the speakers built into the game playing celebratory music as he continued.

“You’re going to become a celebrity at this rate,” Rowan murmured, peeking over her shoulder at the crowd of teens and children and parents watching Gavin with mixed expressions of curiosity and awe.

Gavin paused, turning to look behind them as well, frowning. “Hm. Maybe we should try a different game.”

“We could do one of the racing ones!” She suggested, pointing to an empty game in a corner. “But I want my car to be pink.”

Chuckling, Gavin took her hand, brusquely excusing himself to the gathering as he shouldered his way through the gaggle of people still watching him as though he were an arcade god.

“You know I bet you really could become a celebrity,” she teased, squeezing his hand as she noticed a teen girl recording them with her phone. “There’s probably going to be videos of you all over the internet tomorrow.”

“I don’t care what they think,” he said, even as the blush at the tips of his ears reached down to his cheeks, staining his whole face the red of a sunset. He turned to meet her gaze, pausing next to the game she had suggested. “I only care what you think.”

Rowan grinned, cupping his face in her hands and brushing her lips to his. “Well I think we should try out this game.”

He chuckled, his smile soft as they broke apart. “As you wish, my love.”

***

Although Rowan knew Gavin could easily beat her in any of the games they tried, he always let her win a round or two. When they raced he let her win the first few races, her candy-coated car and bubblegum pink character leaving him in the dust.

It had almost been enough to trick her into forgetting that he always beat her in Mario Kart. Whether it was Moo Moo Meadows or Rainbow Road, Gavin never failed to win. But she would bask in her victories nonetheless, even if he had handed them to her.

They cycled through nearly every game in the arcade, taking a break every now and then to replay some of Rowan’s favourites. Dance Dance Revolution of course was a must, and she couldn’t stop giggling as Gavin danced next to her.

There was a VR game they wanted to try too, a rhythm game that they could play together. But the line to try the game had been way longer than they’d been willing to wait, and instead they had tried the other games in the arcade, attempting nearly all of them at least once. But as the minutes slowly ticked into hours and the hazy evening light melted into the indigo of night, the crowds slowly dispersed until it was only the two of them and a few other couples milling around.

“Do you want to try the VR one?” Rowan asked, tugging on Gavin’s arm as he checked his points again.

He looked up, blinking at the now nonexistent line for the game that had piqued their interest earlier. “What time is it?”

Rowan checked her phone, wincing at the bright flare of her screen. “It’s just after midnight.”

“We can do that one, and then maybe we’ll call it a day?”

“Do we have enough points for the otter?” She looped her arm through his as they made their way to the game, a bright melody filtering from speakers she couldn’t see surrounding the machine and the VR headsets.

“Just about.” He grinned, looking more than a little smug.

Rowan gaped, amazed. She hadn’t done nearly as well as Gavin had, and was still a thousand points short. “You’re really amazing, babey.”

He chuckled, leaning his head close. “It’s only because you’re here.”

Rowan couldn’t help giggling, fatigue and the alcohol from her mai tai blending together, making her feel lightheaded and ditzy. “What? Like a rabbit’s foot?”

“Much more precious than that.” His lips brushed against her ear, making her shiver. “Everything is perfect when you’re beside me.”

Rowan wanted to point out that things hadn’t exactly been perfect when he’d been trying his hand with the claw machine, but swallowed the words instead. Gavin’s voice was warm and sweet as honey, and it was making her feel like she was melting beneath a summer’s sun. She didn’t want him to stop, felt like she would fall into the comforting warmth of his embrace if he continued.

But Gavin pulled away, a rush of cool air spilling over her in his wake. She pouted, although it was short lived as he brushed his mouth to the corner of her lips.

“I love your smile more,” he breathed. “And if you pout more I’ll have to do something about it.”

“Like what?” She felt like pushing her luck a little, wondering how far she could get before he retaliated. Wondered how much he would retaliate in public before dragging her home to finish the job.

“Do you really want to find out?” He asked. His breath ghosted against her throat, gooseflesh rising in its wake. “Keep pouting and you will.”

She shivered again. Part of her wanted to keep her bottom lip out, wanted to see exactly what he meant. But she was quickly distracted by the flashing lights and dancing figures wielding silver swords on the screen before her, prompting them to put on the VR helmets.

Setting the helmet on her head, Rowan was met with a wave of dizziness as she seemed to be plunged into a world of bright colours and sounds that assaulted her tired mind.

There was bright, cheerful digital music playing as fuschia and azure stars flashed around her, the corona of their light slowly growing into a grid that surrounded her. She knew Gavin was beside her, although she could no longer see his features, only the shape of him wrought in violet and aquamarine.

She lifted one hand to see that she too, was little more than a brightly coloured figure in the game, her hand painted in bubblegum pink and gold.

“This is kind of freaky,” she said, raising her arm to get a better look at her in-game avatar, watching as the colours roiled over the length of her arm like ocean waves. “I feel like I’m on acid or something.”

Gavin chuckled, and she imagined the wry smile playing on his lips. “It reminds me a little of a training simulator at the STF.”

“Okay but. Did the STF training simulator also have a rhythm game in it?” She reached her hand out in thin air, even as her avatar in the game scrolled through different song options to play to.

Another chuckle. “No, it didn’t.”

“Well then they should add one, because rhythm games make everything better.”

A beat as he sucked in a breath. “Rowan, are you still mad I didn’t let you buy that Vocaloid rhythm game?”

“Of course I’m still mad!” She whirled to the side, imagining the amused glint that would be in his eyes. “It was on sale! It looked like so much fun!”

“But you haven’t even finished the last game you bought.”

“But that one is different,” she whined. “That’s an RPG. Rhythm games are different.”

He lifted his hands, conceding. “Alright. Next time we go out I’ll buy it for you.”

“And there’s a new romance sim I want that comes out next week too.”

Gavin heaved a long-suffering sigh, shaking his head.

“You said anything for me!” She waved her arms, her earlier brain haze giving way to the desire to be ridiculously dramatic. “For me! The love of your life! Your everything! Your sweet pumpkin pie!”

Gavin’s hands reached for hers, clasping them between his palms. She could feel the tremors of his laughter through his hands, his whole body shaking like an earthquake had rent the deep, boisterous laughter from deep in his soul.

“You are my everything,” he promised, his words lilting as his laughter slowly began to subside. “And you are my sweet pumpkin pie.”

Her legs wobbled a little, as though they were made of jelly, when he said it. Something about the utter dorkiness of the affectionate nickname he’d bestowed on her that always made her feel a little weak, a little like she were no more substantial than seafoam and summer clouds.

“I’ll buy you whatever you want.” He brushed a kiss to her knuckles, the sensation strange since she could not see his face, only the blue and purple avatar the game had conjured for him. “But first, let’s try this game.”

Rowan beamed, her focus diverted as it was once again turned to the VR game. “Alright. But I’m picking the music.”

“As you wish,” was his response, and she could see the arc of his smile in her mind.

“And I’m not going easy on you!”

Gavin’s laughter threaded with the opening strains of the music as the game began, their VR avatars wielding massive silver swords that flashed as they sliced into the projectiles the game tossed at them.

Rowan was pleased to find that she was actually quite good at the game, quickly syncing her movements to the beat of the song. Beside her, Gavin was seeming to do quite well too, although Rowan felt a surge of smug satisfaction as she realized her score was higher than his.

“I think the STF should get one of these!” She sang, starbursts exploding across her screen as she swiped at the in-game projectiles. “I think it could be good training!”

“Good training for what?” Gavin sounded incredulous, even as he successfully sliced through a string of projectiles as the tempo picked up.

“Well what if you have to go undercover during a fancy ball? And you need to dance with someone?” She gasped, clapping her hands as the round ended and she was declared the winner. “Or what if you have to fight in the middle of a ball or a party and you can only attack on beat to whatever song is playing?”

She imagined the amusement in his expression, the incredulity at the edges. “That’s never happened before.”

“But what if it does.”

He laughed, warm and bright, surely reaching towards the stars. His laughter turning to bright lights among the velvet darkness of the night. “I’ll make sure to add it to the agenda.”

“Oh good,” she said, feigning relief. “I was so worried.”

“The last thing I want to do is worry you.”

“While you’re at it, we should take dance classes again,” she continued, starting up a new round. “I think that would be fun.”

Gavin paused for a beat before responding, and for a moment Rowan thought maybe he hadn’t heard her, the music blasting in his ears drowning out his senses. But then he did respond, his voice soft. Like the moments between sleep and awakening. “I would love that.”

Rowan wanted to question if he was feeling alright, but the tempo picked up in the game and she had to turn and focus, intent on beating Gavin yet again.

They ended up playing for quite a few rounds, the arcade near deserted now but for them and a few couples crowded around the retro-inspired games. Rowan felt like she might have been on her third or fourth wind, more energy flowing through her in a moment than an entire week.

Not that the sudden burst of energy lasted particularly long, with her legs suddenly turning to jelly and her bones to lead.

She whined as Gavin helped her to remove the VR helmet, nearly toppling against his chest once they were both free.

“Why don’t we collect our prizes and head home?” He suggested, arm wrapped around her waist as he led the way to the prize counter.

The employee standing at the counter looked beyond bored, not even bothering to try and hide their phone as they idly flicked their thumb across the screen.

“Cards please,” they said, their tone dull as they held their hand out.

Gavin had never looked more smug as he handed his card over, waiting for the employee to let him know what prizes he could choose from.

Rowan’s eyes bulged as she listened to the employee list the points Gavin had wracked up, pointing to all of the items he could redeem.

He didn’t hesitate as he selected the teal otter. He cradled it in his arms for a moment, his expression softening as he turned to Rowan.

“For you.”

She clutched it to her chest, beaming so wide her cheeks hurt. “Thank you, babey.”

His smile turned mischievous. “Don’t thank me yet, I still have points leftover.”

She was astonished that he had any points left after the otter. She hadn’t thought the VR game had given them that many points, had it?

Gavin quickly redeemed the rest of his points for a finger trap, a handful of candy, and a blind box from a series she loved.

Rowan clutched her otter as she redeemed her own points, choosing another two blind boxes and a goofy plastic crown.

“For you, my king,” she announced, settling it on Gavin’s head. “For defeating all the enemies in the arcade.”

The employee rolled their eyes as the two of them walked away, but Rowan didn’t care. She was tired, still a little drunk, and so overwhelmingly happy she thought she might explode into stardust. It had been so long since she’d tasted such joy, and she wasn’t going to let a grouchy teenager ruin it because they were being silly.

She loved Gavin, loved being silly around him.

“Why did you get that?” She asked, pointing to the finger trap as he tucked it into his pocket.

He shrugged. “I’m going to use it to keep you close.”

“Keep me close?”

He lifted her hand, sliding it easily onto her index finger. “Exactly. Just like this.” Then he slid his finger into the other end, joining the two of them together.

Rowan laughed, delighted by the silliness of it. “You could always just hold my hand.”

“But what if you let go?”

“I mean…” She trailed off, cheeks burning even as they stepped out into the crisp night. “You could always use your handcuffs.”

Gavin smirked, looking far too pleased for her liking. “I was planning on saving those for something else. But I can cuff you if you want.”

She looked away as quickly as she could, blinking as the world spun. Maybe she’d drank too much. “It was only a suggestion.”

He dropped his head close to hers, lips ghosting against the curve of her jaw. “It’s one I plan to take you up on.”

Sighing, Rowan flopped against Gavin’s side, too tired to joke around. “You can do whatever you want to me,” she said, sighing again. “But tomorrow, once I’ve gotten some sleep.”

“Are you tired?” His voice softened.

“I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

“Alright, pumpkin,” he murmured, drawing her to his chest as they walked. “Let’s go home.”

***

Her memories of the rest of the night were hazy. Gavin coaxing her into the shower, helping her to wash the sweat from her body before wrapping her up in a soft towel and helping her into her favourite pajamas. Gavin tucking her beneath their blankets before cuddling up beside her, tucking her head beneath his chest.

Even her dreams were hazy, little more than splashes of colour melting together. The echo of a soft hum that warmed her heart dancing in the wind. Ocean waves lapping against the shore, reaching for her from where she stood.

Rowan awoke, her mind still hazy, to Gavin’s teeth nibbling her ear.

“Good morning,” he breathed, hands wrapping around her waist, his voice heady and warm.

“G’morning,” she mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes open.

“Sleep well?”

“Mmmm…”

She felt herself slipping into unconsciousness again, the draw of the blurry ocean and melting colours in her mind like a siren’s song.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he teased, running his hands along her sides. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sleeby,” she whined.

But she was starting to awaken more, becoming more and more aware of his hands on her sides. His hands at the waistband of her sleep shorts, toying with it idly.

“Rowan,” he breathed, drawing her focus.

“Hmm?” She peered up, catching his eyes as the shone gold. Her stomach twisted, heat pooling in her core. He looked so handsome; beautiful with his disheveled hair and his bright eyes.

“Do you remember what you promised last night?” He teased, slipping his hands up beneath her shirt.

She worried the inside of her cheek, heart lurching as the memory surfaced. “Yes.”

“That I can do whatever I want?”

She nodded, feeling breathless. “Yes.”

His hands trailed higher, stroking her sides. “I know what I want to do.”

“Then do it.”

She threaded her fingers in his hair as he gently pushed her onto her back, hands making quick work of her pajamas until she was bare beneath him.

“I love you,” you groaned, pressing fiery kisses to her throat. “I love you so much.”

She held him tighter, too distracted by his lips and his teeth and his hands to think of much else.

But as Gavin’s lips found hers, his hands tenderly spreading her thighs apart, a moment of clarity found her. A moment where she realized her heart no longer felt entirely empty.

She could still feel the cracks, feel where the shining joy still dripped through. And she could still feel the leaden fatigue in her body, craving nothing but the peace of oblivion.

But it wasn’t as heavy, and the cracks in her heart weren’t as big. Like all of Gavin’s efforts had helped her to heal, a salve to the wounds in her heart. A tonic to hasten her recovery.

She broke from his lips, her head falling back as she cupped his face. “Thank you.”

Gavin blinked, bemused. He chuckled awkwardly, raking a hand through his already mussed hair. “What are you thanking me for?”

“For helping me,” she said, voice soft as she stroked his cheeks. “For staying with me. For helping when I didn’t know what would work. For loving me.”

His expression softened, no longer shadowed by his desire as he leaned down to brush a chaste kiss to her lips. “I will always love you, Rowan. And I’ll always do everything I can to help you. To make you happy.”

“Being with you makes me happy.” Her voice was little more than a whisper, but it didn’t need to be. Her words weren’t for the wind to sweep away, they were for Gavin alone.

He chuckled, nuzzling against her cheek, his laughter ringing through her like song. “You might regret that by this evening.”

She frowned. “Why?”

He peeled away, sitting back on his legs as he stretched his arms skyward. “Because we’re still going to the gym tonight.”

“Oh Gavin no,” she whined, squirming from beneath him. “Can’t we do something else?”

“Nope,” he beamed, far too pleased with himself. “If yesterday helped, then going to the gym regularly will definitely help.”

She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “But I don’t want to!”

He tsked, taking her hands and prying them from her chest, lifting them above her head and pressing them to the pillows. “You said I could do anything I wanted.”

“Well- I didn’t mean- I meant more like-” She stumbled over her words, wriggling helplessly. “I meant like…”

He arched a brow. “Like what?”

He held her arms in one hand, reaching for something on the side-table that she couldn’t see. He made sure to keep whatever it was from her line of sight, although the telltale clink of metal as the cool cuffs were clasped around her wrists gave it away.

“Like this, maybe?” He teased, releasing her wrists.

She huffed, rolling her eyes. “Maybe.”

“Well you said I could do anything,” he continued, lowering his head to drag his teeth over where her pulse fluttered in her throat. “So I’m going to do this. And then we’re going to the gym tonight.”

“Fine,” Rowan conceded, feigning annoyance even as her toes curled from his ministrations.

“But if you’re very good I’ll go easy on you tonight.” His breath was hot as he trailed kisses below her collarbone. “And I’ll even give a treat.”

“Will it be something like this?” Her voice hitched as he dropped his mouth lower, writhing beneath his touch.

She could feel his smile against her skin. “Something very much like this.”

“Alright,” she said, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Do your worst, officer.”

His head rose, his smile verging on wicked. “I will.”

And Rowan laughed, his eyes and his smile and his teasing voice a melody in her heart. And she could feel the wounds that remained heal a little more, her heart a little more whole with every moment she shared with him.

#mlqc #gavin mlqc #bai qi #mlqc bai qi #gavin x mc #bai qi x mc #bai qi x reader #mlqc gavin bai #gavin x oc #star kissed winds

[yourssinfullyquiche]

In the heat they feel…(D, no.29)

Hello, all you beautiful people🥰 A highly suggestive drabble, but again to be safe R18+, MDNI Hope you enjoy~

Prompt 34 & 35: a kiss on the shoulder blade and on the space between the shoulder blades

Gavin x F!reader

Electric. It’s buzzing through their veins, intoxicating their minds. Tender heat and need at the forefront of their hazy thoughts. She stays unmoving, hands gripping the desk, broken, airy breaths from her lips. 

He teases her, thrusting into her a little and she lets out a shaky breath, knuckles now white. This isn’t their first time, yet there’s something inexplicably intense: the ardent intimacy they feel when he’s sheathed fully inside her walls and when she feels so incredibly full with him. 

Something about being skin to skin with one another, the heat that surrounds them and the jolt of excitement they feel when it rushes through them. It all connects her to him and him to her, when they are near but far. Other than teasing her with a few thrusts which earn him breathy moans and whimpers, and him groaning huskily when she clenches tightly around him as payback for the teases, they do nothing further. 

There are always kisses. Some he presses on her shoulder blades, others on the space between the two bones. Some she turns around a little to capture his lips in deep kisses. But other than that, they do nothing further but bask in the heat radiating from their skin. 

-

A/N: Thank you for reading❤️ OK people, there's one final drabble left. After that I'll be concluding my series of Gavin's B-day drabbles（￣︶￣）↗　

Delve into my world

© YOURSSINFULLYQUICHE2023 — no part of this writing shall be plagiarised, translated or reposted in any way. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

Taglist: @purple-cat-demon @rinharu-purple (if you want to join my taglist, please visit my blog and click the link available on my pinned post)

#mlqc gavin #mlqc smut #mlqc #mlqc gavin fanfic #mlqc gavin smut #mlqc gavin fanfiction #mlqc gavin headcanon #love and producer #mlqc x reader #mr. love queen's choice #mr love queen's choice #mr love queens choice #mlqc fanfic #mlqc fanfiction #mlqc fluff #mlqc bai qi #mlqc headcanon #mr love fanfic #mr love gavin #mr love #mr love bai qi #quiche writes

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Goddess of the Luo River ~ Qin Shi Huang x Reader

She is lightsome as a startled Phoenix, And he, as graceful as a roaming dragon; Her lovely complexion outshines the autumn chrysanthemum, Whilst his radiance surpasses the springtime pine.

She is as nebulous as the moon concealed in light clouds, Gracefully gliding, as snow spun by a flowing wind. He is gazing at her from afar, She shines like the sun rising above the rosy mists of dawn; Observing her close by, She is as luminous as a lotus emerging from clear ripplets.

What lies behind the mask of the 'King Where It All Began' ...?

He... Was the most cursed prince in all of History.

It is held that in the year 260 BC, at the end of the battle of Chang Ping, Bai Qi, General of the Qin Army, had the captured soldiers of the Zhao army buried alive en masse. According to the records of the Grand Historian Shi Ji, the number of men killed was over four hundred and fifty thousand.

The following year, a member of the Qin royal family being kept as a hostage in Zhao, Zichu had an affair with a Zhao dancer. Their child, born in enemy territory, was the boy who would one day become Qin Shi Huang, the First Emperor of the Unified China. Ying Zheng.

However, in 257, Zichu returned to Qin alone, and his mother, Lady Zhao, abandoned him. At just two years old, he was cast away by his father, his mother... And his country. King Zhaoxiang of Qin invaded Zhao and laid siege to its capital, Handan.

Five years later, when the little prince was merely seven years of age, living on the outskirts of Handan, he would return to his small and secluded home, having to see the insults and hostile drawings on the walls made by the citizens, and endure the ostracising and death threats from the guards.

Ever after Qin's siege of Handan, Zhao continued to hold Ying Zheng hostage. They placed him under harsh supervision, keeping him alive but never allowing him to live, all while he bore the scorn of the Zhao people.

One day, however, he will experience the foreign feeling of joy for the first time in his life; As he went to buy some groceries, receiving the hatred of the people, a young lady around his age, wearing the simple clothes of a commoner, jumped in defense of him.

"This boy did nothing wrong! Why do you continue beating down on a child who had nothing to do with the massacre? You hate on him, though you should be hating on the evil general Bai Qi, and the King of Qi who committed such atrocities! The sins of the father shouldn't be passed down on an innocent child!" the prince's heart throbbed in shock and flatter, watching someone actually protecting him, let alone say such words about him! "Shut your mouth, wench, what do you know about war and politics?!" one of the men surrounding them spat at her, grabbing her by the neck of the dress. "This child is the reason your father and brother were buried alive by the enemy, along with hundreds of thousands of other good men who protected our country!" "It wasn't this child who gave the order. It wasn't this child who killed my family, nor anyone else's. Your hearts are filled with malice and scorn from loss and poverty, but that doesn't give anyone the right to use an innocent child as a scapegoat for the evil-doings of the higher ups. It's the fault of them and the constant civil wars happening throughout the country! This country will never heal unless we show compassion and understanding!" such beautiful words, such a progressive and revolutionary thinking from someone as young as her! The prince was highly impressed, but he couldn't find any strength in his body to move, he was rooted to the spot, watching the adults throw the girl to the ground, kicking her mercilessly. "If your father heard you, he'd have disciplined your rudeness until it all bled out! How dare you, a stupid, uneducated woman, speak back to a man? Your father would have beaten you until you learnt to bite down on that vile tongue of yours." she hadn't let out a single yelp, nor did she curse or complain until the punishing was over and the crowd dispersed.

"What do they know of my father, anyway? He was a kind man, he'd never hit me for speaking my mind." the girl scoffed, getting up on her feet and patting her clothes. "Are you alright, My Prince?"

But the prince felt like crying; He wanted desperately to throw his arms around the girl, thank her for standing up for him, for defending and protecting him, but at the same time, she was bleeding and bruised after her feat, and it was all because of him. "F-Forgive me... Forgive me... Because of me, you... You got hurt... I'm so sorry..." he wanted to cry... He wanted to cry so badly... "Aiya, don't say that. It wasn't you who hurt me, you are innocent in all this mess. It is the evilness that hurt me, along with these wars and crimes that keep happening." she sighed softly. "If only there was one man who could unite the country and stop the civil wars, the people would be living in peace and harmony, and the seed of hatred would rot." she shook her head dismissively, before smiling at the boy. "My Prince, I can see you are desperately trying to bite down your tears - You needn't, not in front of me. If you wish me to, I can be your shoulder to cry on, or a reason to smile. You are a kind child, you don't deserve everything that's happening to you." the girl held his hand, squeezing it comfortingly. "Let me show you a special place."

Thus, the girl dragged the little Prince to some part of the outskirts where he's never been before; An abandoned garden that though unattended to, still retained its beauty and grace, with green plants and colourful flowers as he's never seen before. Truly, this must be the prettiest part of all Zhao, the boy thought.

From a hidden spot inside a thick bush, Y/N dragged a chest filled with the most expensive silk clothes and beautiful accessories - And even a pipa lute and make-up! "I've always loved dancing, you see. This place is my special place. Mum showed it to me, and grandma showed it to mum. Since when this chest has been here, or when did the garden get abandoned, I do not know, but I am happy regardless." she giggled softly, discarding the ratty outer layer of her clothes and putting on a lovely pink dress. "My dream has been, since I've seen mum dance for the first time, to become a dancer at the high court. I love the pretty dresses and all the accessories, and the music also. Alas..." she smiled sadly, trailing her fingertips softly across the melodious strings of the pipa. "Men with wealth and status care little that a dancer is not a courtesan, and there is no one to protect us from their lecherous hands."

Ying Zheng could only sit down and watch the girl before him transform into the most graceful fairy, and with elegant moves, her body flowed like the river through a flower meadow, and the orchid fragrance in the Spring wind. He was completely mesmerised by the beauty in front of him. "My grandma danced for grandpa only, and my mum for my dad. I, too, hope to one day marry the love of my life, and bewitch him with my dancing." her smile was so carefree and filled with glee that the prince found himself completely enchanted. "But... I like to dream big. I may be just a simple, common girl, with no family, no money and no status... In spite of this... I do hope that somehow, I would be able to dance in front of people and make them happy, and smile, with my dancing." she glided around the flowers like a peony nymph, her pink skirts flying around her like the rich petals of said flower. "Until then, I suppose I should just continue perfecting my choreographies." "Y-You dance beautifully." the prince managed to stutter out, still under the afterglow of the dance, and the stunning pose she ended in. "If it matters, you made me feel very happy." "Hao!" she giggled sweetly. "You have a gorgeous smile. I hope to see you smiling so genuinely all the time when we're together."

The prince continued to blush deeply, though his heart was throbbing with joy as never before. A single day, however, only has so many hours, and with the afternoon gone, the Sun was setting and the starry skies were reflected in his gorgeous eyes.

"W-Would it be too rude and daring t-to ask you to please be my friend?" the boy bowed down humbly at her, only to hear a sweet giggle. "Y/N. Call me Y/N. And I will call you by your given name - Zheng." she quickly took the jade pendant from her sash and tied it to his own. "There, a token of my care and friendship for you. Now that we call each other by our given name, we are soul bound." "B-But... I-I don't have anything to give you..." the boy's lips trembled with emotion. "Hmm... Let me think..." her sweet smile turned mischievous, as she placed a kiss on his cheek. "Remember what I said about the wars? That only the King of all Kings can unite our country and bring peace?" he nodded silently. "When you become Emperor, don't forget about me. That's the only thing I wish from you. To be friends forever, no matter what the course of time may bring for us. How's that sound?" The little prince looked up at her, his starry eyes sparkling with joy and love, and a soft blush painting his porcelain cheeks. He grinned widely, like a happy child, and he repeated the single word that she adopted from her - A word that will become his most favourite word. "Hao!"

Many days passed, and the friendship between Zheng and Y/N only grew stronger, and so did their crush on one another. Y/N became even more protective over the boy, thus receiving even more scorn and disciplining - The adults could afford disciplining an orphan girl with no status, but they couldn't beat the Prince. Even his deep sorrow dissipated when he saw her dance.

That is, until Y/N walked him home one afternoon, and there, waiting for him, was a woman, blowing into a spinning windwheel. "Are you Ying Zheng?" the stern-looking woman asked. "Who asks?" Y/N frowned, stepping protectively in front of him, glaring at her viciously - But the boy was mellow and didn't want to upset anyone, nor incur another's wrath, and he simply bowed and affirmed that it was him, the prince. "I didn't think you'd be so young. Tsk." she frowned, rolling her eyes. "Who are you and what do you want with the Prince?" Y/N's loud and firm voice made the woman's eyebrow rise. "I'm Chun-Yan, his new live-in caretaker and bodyguard. Which means..." she jumped off the stone lamp and though she could tower over the prince, as the girl was right there, shielding him, she still felt intimidating. "I can roll you, fold you, or do whatever the hell I want with you." "Yes, ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you." the prince bowed deeply, only for the girl to hiss at the woman and close her fan, bonking her in the head. "Who do you think you are, threatening a child like this? I'll kill you if you even look at him the wrong way." Chun-Yan was rather amused by the braveness of this peasant girl, and she scoffed, straightening up and walking towards the humble home of the prince. "Well, whatever. First things first, show me around this place."

As she opened the doors, she noticed the dilapidated state of complete disrepair that the small home of the hostage prince was; A complete dump filled with broken windows and walls, and furniture, mold growing everywhere and everything was shit.

"God, what a dump this is! Though, I guess it suits a reject from the Qin royal family." the nasty comment made Y/N yell at her again. "Fuck off, will you?!" the woman stared in shock - A little girl cursed like a sailor man! "You are just as evil as all the others around! We don't need you here! Go away! You're only going to hurt him, you evil, nasty woman!" "D-Don't worry, Y/N! It's really okay!" Yin Zheng forced a wide smile on his face. "Would you like something to drink? If water is alright, I'll go fetch some." he bowed again. "... Are you really seven?" she muttered in disbelief before slumping down on the table. "I DON'T LIKE YOU!" she yelled, pointing a finger at him. "A kid your age oughta be crying or throwing a fit at the drop of a hat, but you've just been grinning ear to ear this whole time. It's givin' me the creeps." Y/N didn't even have the time to yell at the woman again, for the prince started dancing around like a monkey. "Are you makin' fun of me?!" "WILL YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE ALREADY?!" Y/N's anger was through the roof. "Who do you think you are, treating him like this?! I bet you lost someone to the burying, didn't you? Well, that's you and EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS CITY! INCLUDING ME!" she glared up at Chun-Yan, who looked flabbergast at the girl. "I lost my dad and brother! My mum killed herself from grief! I've been all alone to survive and fend for myself since I was barely four years old - But I don't go around blaming a child for the evil-doings of those warmongers! Why is it so hard for adults to understand that Ying Zheng did nothing wrong?! That you should be blaming THEM, not a child who was barely a BABY when it happened!" the woman was stunned. "You are a woman! Women are supposed to be gentle and caring towards children! You are a disgrace to all of girl-kind!"

The woman remained silent for a few seconds, staring down at the gleaming eyes of the girl who started crying from the deep rage she felt - And suddenly, Chun-Yan felt guilt and remorse. The girl was right, she wasn't any different than everyone in Handan, or Zhao itself. To think a child would have more wisdom than a rage-blinded adult...

"Let's clean this place already. You can't expect me to sleep in some dingy hut like this." Chun-Yan scoffed, taking the broom and beginning to clean this place properly - Though no amount of work could properly make this run-down home into a beautiful and safe haven.

Regardless, Ying Zheng and Y/N helped in the cleaning up, and though the boy felt incredibly on edge around a stranger, Y/N and Chun-Yan were constantly yelling at each other. The place was... Pretty loud and tense - Yet thus began their unusual pseudo-familial life.

Chun-Yan took the two children for grocery shopping again, only to see the true horrors of the prince's daily life, as one of the merchants threw the food on the ground, urging the prince to eat the sand-filled meat - At the same time, Y/N quickly jumped to shield the boy, as the people around started glaring at him, accusing him of killing their children or relatives. They all wanted to kill him, while he could only force a smile and bow at them humbly.

Anger. Curse. Hate. Curse. Kill. Curse. Evil. Curse. Grudge. Curse. Sad. Curse.

When they returned home, Chun-Yan stopped the lone boy from going to rest, and revealed the many injuries on his body. Apparently, whenever he saw someone getting injured, his own body started getting scars in the same place, and feel the pain of said person. Y/N knew, and that's why she tried her best to protect him, but it wasn't always working. It was all because of the constant hatred from the people of Zhao that he developed such an accursed condition.

It was just a little pain, he'd say. The wounds will heal, eventually... Though his body said another thing, and he almost fainted. Ying Zheng's smile had been instinctively learned by him at the mere age of seven, as a way to allay, even only slightly, the hatred constantly searing his body. "Some day, maybe they'll forgive me... Won't day?" a most pitiful armor.

"Forgive you...? Who do you think you're kidding here?! Huh?! How the hell can you just keep grinning like an idiot?! Why don't you get angry?! Why don't you hate them?!" Chun-Yan started crying - She was now fully understanding Y/N's angry tears and the frustration she felt at the way Zhao was treating an innocent child. "What happened back then... At Chang Ping... HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! IT ISN'T RIGHT THAT YOU'RE GETTING HURT! SO STOP FORCING YOURSELF TO HOLD BACK! IF YOU WANNA CRY, THEN CRY! IF YOU'RE FEELING MAD, THEN LET IT OUT! STOP KILLING YOURSELF FROM THE INSIDE AND LYING TO YOURSELF ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL!" she yelled at him, falling on the ground weakly, watching the still forced smile on his face. "G-Get angry...? Cry...? I-I could never do that... B-Because I'm... I'm the child of a nation that kills people. I-I'm a cursed child... Th-That's why, I..." for the first time in his life, Ying Zheng felt the embrace of a mother. "It doesn't matter how awful your parents are - Their kid doesn't deserve to be punished! You haven't done anything wrong, nothing at all..." tears were drenching her face, all the guilt and regret overwhelming her. "Y/N was right... Y/N cares so much for you, she only wants the best for you." she found herself speaking in a milder voice. "You're a kind person, who understands people's pain. Your wounds are proof of that, not some punishment or curse." the boy's body was trembling violently. "Ying Zheng. You can live however you want to live."

For the first time in his life, Ying Zheng allowed himself to wail out all of his distress, all the pain, the agony and suffering he's been feeling this entire time, and his mother figure encouraged him. "Why me?! I haven't done anything! Nothing at all! I hate them! I hate everyone! DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT ALL!!!!!!"

It was the first night he slept peacefully, and when he woke up, the woman offered him a pretty scarf to cover his eyes. If he can't see the pain of others, then maybe he won't be feeling it? It was worth a try. She made it herself, after all. When her child was still alive, this used to be a piece of cake for her to do.

The boy, with the most beautiful smile in the world, tied the scarf over his eyes. "HAO!" he joyfully exclaimed. "Thanks, Chun-Yan! I'll take good care of it!" "Hao? I like that word too!" the woman grinned at him. He truly was adorable.

Since then, Y/N and Chun-Yan became the only persons Ying Zheng could be around and not feel any pain. Every day he spent with them, Ying Zheng was able to smile and have fun from the bottom of his heart. They would clean up the graffiti and even learn martial arts - Sometimes, they'd even prank the people who used to bully him; And his smile became more and more cheerful. Ying Zheng was truly happy.

However... King Zhaoxiang of Qin, and soon after, his son, King Xiaowen, passed away - And so, in 250 BC, the man who abandoned Ying Zheng, Zichu, ascended to the throne, and thus... Ying Zheng unexpectedly became the crown prince, the first in line to the throne, and was permitted to return to Qin.

"Ha! To think that some silly words I said would actually come true. I must be a Seer or something." Y/N grinned at the crying boy. "Crown Prince Ying Zheng. That sounds very good! Hao! I like that!" "Won't you come with me?! Please?! Please?! Don't leave me alone, I need you! We are friends, aren't we?!" the boy was sobbing, holding tightly onto the girl. "Forgive me, I cannot." she sighed, embracing him. "Not only am I a Zhao citizen, but... I am also a peasant. I would never be allowed anywhere near the Crown Prince." she kissed his cheek, patting his hair. "But when you get older and ascend to the throne - If you still remember me, and want to see me again, then you can always send for me. I will wait for you a thousand lifetimes, if needed. Just to see you again. The beautiful boy with the starry skies in his eyes."

Before he left, Y/N stole a quick peck on his lips, and waved him goodbye; Whilst Chun-Yan was laughing copiously, she had to drag the stunned boy away, his face burning fiercely from a blush. "I'll make you my Empress, Y/N! Wait for me! I'll keep my promise!" they truly were adorable, the woman thought, as the carriage left for Qin.

Thus, however, not only Y/N, but Ying Zheng would remain alone for so long, as Y/N had no one else in Zhao, and with the scorned people of Zhao no longer holding the prince as a hostage, they sent mercenaries to kill him. As a last motherly act of love, Chun-Yan used her martial arts to battle them all, though she would be fatally injured. "YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY KID!" she yelled, killing the last one.

As she lay dying in his arms, she told him the truth - That Y/N was right about her all along. She was a scorned, grieving parent, with her child, similar in age to the prince, having been buried alive. Her beloved Chun-Ou. She could do nothing to save him, for she dug in the dirt with her nails desperately, but couldn't even find him to give him a proper send-off. She wanted too see the prince, to scold him for being a useless, evil brat... She wanted to vent her anger and resentment... But she couldn't.

If a kid like Ying Zheng could become the King - Someone who could understand people's pain... Perhaps someone like him could change this fucked-up world a little, the very same way he changed her. "Become the greatest king of them all." it was the same promise that Y/N also bestowed upon him.

Before she died though, she didn't see Ying Zheng, but Chun-Ou. "I didn't know you were there, Chun-Ou. Let mama get a good look at your face." "Mama..." the prince held her dearly in his arms, placing her hand over his face, and he smiled at her, watching how vitality swiftly dissipated from her eyes. "Hao." she lay lifeless in his arms as he wept for her.

Afterward, Ying Zheng arrived safely at Xianyang, the capital of Qin, and on July 6th 247 BC, following the death of Zichu, Ying Zheng became the King of Qin, at the mere age of twelve.

"Let's walk my--..." Ying Zheng smiled, tying the scarf around his eyes. "No. Let's walk the Path of an Emperor. Together. Y/N. Chun-Yan." and true to his words, at 37 years of age, Ying Zheng became Qin Shi Huang, The First Emperor in History to unite all of China.

On the day Ying Zheng was crowned as the King of Qin, he also began being pestered by his advisors and elders to marry soon and produce an heir; After all, every King must have a Queen and concubines to perpetuate the royal lineage. Of course, the Prince didn't care for such things, nor did he want to think about anyone else that wasn't Y/N - But they were still so young! Life was fully ahead of them! On the other hand, it could be a great pretext to bring Y/N to the court and start lavishing her with all the luxuries that the palace has to offer.

Though the King of Qin had room for surprise, along with all the people at the royal meeting, as the large doors of the palace were pushed open, and a beautiful young lady resembling a flower fairy, dressed in rich silks, pink like the petals of a peony stepped on the golden rug that led towards the throne. She had a long spear in her grasp. As she started singing, the King ripped the scarf off his face, and those starred eyes gleamed with glee, his smile wide like never before. They truly must be soulmates, if Y/N could do exactly the same thing that he himself intended to do!

Two loving souls, so cruelly parted In madness and grief, a dark path started Calamity was drawn, rituals subverted But by her lovely dance, was sadness averted.

Ying Zheng didn't think it humanly possible, for a human to glide even more gracefully than he first saw her dancing, a few years prior.

The Phoenix returned to a home without luster; The cobwebs overgrown, the grave-shrouds a-fluster. But one bond upon her, This world could not muster.

"Thus does the tale of the Auspicious Phoenix end - Yet today, a new melody I have to append." the King was truly mesmerised by her lovely voice, and the way she lit the spear on fire and twirled it around so masterfully, kicking it and rotating with it, throwing it in the air, creating the image of a dancing Phoenix. "Hao! Sing me a happy story, Y/N!" he grinned, leaning forward in his throne.

From the world she seems apart But there is one who knows her heart With graceful swaying and a flaming spear To still the raging skies and the shattered hearts

Y/N's smile was so enchanting that it bewitched the King - Her dancing was as she hoped, a means to grow the seed of joy into people's hearts, replacing the darkening hatred.

The Phoenix once returned, And at once, she was spurned. She turned, and left alone...

Y/N, in a swift move, extinguished the flames from the spear, and stepped up the stairs leading to the throne. "Though now, she might be found to whom she is bound - Her love."

Ying Zheng's face was split by a wide, cheerful grin, and in an unexpected move, he threw his arms around the girl, pulling her into his lap and kissing her cheek. "Hao! My Phoenix returned home!" "Just in time to see her beloved dragon soaring the skies." she replied tenderly, only multiplying the excitement of his heart. "The only dance I love above all is that of the Phoenix and the Dragon amongst Heavens." he declared boldly. "Y-Your Majesty, who is this woman?! And how did she even manage to get inside the palace? With a weapon, no less!" having escaped the charm of the beautiful maiden, the elders started murmuring amongst each other. "She is the Empress, of course!" Ying Zheng laughed merrily, loving the unrest amongst his advisors, telling him he couldn't just marry anyone. "I am the King! I can do whatever I want!" and true to his words, Y/N had a most beautiful coronation ceremony, and her red and gold robes truly made her look like the Phoenix that she was.

Not only the Kingdom of Qin, but the whole Empire of China was going to prosper greatly under the rule of Emperor Qin Shi Huang and his Empress, Y/N. She was there to help him rule, with equal power as his own, and a fantastic wisdom and benevolence like no other. She was there to guide him as he walked the path of killing the demon Chi You. They lived a good life, along with all the people of China.

The two would love each other and live in perfect harmony until their eventual death due to mercury poisoning, at an age before even reaching half a century.

In the afterlife, just like in reality, Qin Shi Huang would have to fight to protect his people, as he was chosen as a human representative fighter in this mess the Gods created, Doomsday, the wish to eradicate mankind. He already killed a demon, and now, he was ready to kill a God.

He couldn't wait for too long in his own room, and with how directionally challenged he was, he walked through walls until he found the Gods' private balcony where Ares and Hermes were, and he flipped the God of War out of his seat, getting comfortable on the cushy seat, even causing the Messenger God to pour him honey mead.

"You know I can't walk fast in these clothes, you little menace." a feminine voice, very much amused, took the attention of the two Gods. "Oh, that's a lovely view of the arena!" the regal looking woman shamelessly sat on his lap, her arms around his neck as he offered her his drink. "This is really good! Can we get more?" bowing, the butler looking God poured some more.

The doors were slammed open again, and the little Valkyrie, Goll, yelled at them, followed by the elder one, Brunhilde. "Goodness! Even after I'd expressly told you NOT to leave your room - And what's more, you've left the corridors FULL of holes!" the elder one was more amused than scolding. "Mou mantai!" the two laughed, free of any care. "The road is where I lead!" he grinned, holding onto Y/N's waist, clingy like a child. "Come on, we have to go." Hilde spoke. "I refuse! We've taken a liking to this place! And besides, we definitely won't grow bored here." the man exclaimed. "In case you weren't aware - YOU will be fighting in round Seven." Hermes and Ares gasped in shock, as the Emperor, holding his love in his arms, jumped on the backseat of the couch.

"HAO!" he grinned confidently. "Finally! I'd grown tired of waiting!" "Now, let's head to the entrance gate, shall we?" Hilde sweatdropped at the unhinged behaviour of the bratty Emperor. "The dragon soars the path of the Emperor! The road is where Qin Shi Huang leads!" Y/N declared boldly, unfolding her fan dramatically.

From underneath the Gods balcony, all of China's Emperors after Qin Shi Huang unraveled a large red and gold rug, making way for the very first Emperor to lead the way to victory - Covering all the minor Gods from the stands. None mattered, except for Qin Shi Huang.

"Hao! That's how the Emperor has to be treated!" Y/N hopped from his arms, and off the balcony, waltzing ahead and leading the way forward - From her sleeves, butterflies would flutter, and where she waved her fan, red flower petals burning like cinders would breeze in a majestic dance, matching her own enchanting one.

She is lightsome as a startled Phoenix, And he, as graceful as a roaming dragon; Her lovely complexion outshines the autumn chrysanthemum, Whilst his radiance surpasses the springtime pine.

She is as nebulous as the moon concealed in light clouds, Gracefully gliding, as snow spun by a flowing wind. He is gazing at her from afar, She shines like the sun rising above the rosy mists of dawn; Observing her close by, She is as luminous as a lotus emerging from clear ripplets.

She sang the song that Ying Zheng loved the most, resembling the Goddess of the Luo River - The Beauty of China, Luo Shen. Though the Emperor hated that she ended up so heart broken over her husband's death, going so far as to drown herself in the river - He couldn't help but admire the pure love between her and her husband, mutually intertwined, just as he and Y/N were; Truly, all his life, he admired everything about her, and strived to become a man worthy of her lover. He wanted to be the man she could depend on, the man who could prove for her.

And thus, he became the Emperor.

As the song ended, Qin took out the bamboo flute and, stepping into the ring and playing the tune that harmonised perfectly with his Empress' graceful moves. Her dress, a deep shade of red like fire, flew around her like the Auspicious Phoenix that she was, and with her golden Dragon, they danced the Celestial melody of Heavens.

Heimdall, as well as all the rest watching, were mesmerised at the elegance displayed in their bonding, true love like no other radiating strongly from their smiles; He couldn't even begin the introductions as he watched the Emperor pick his lady in his arms, two fates intertwined, dancing coiled around each other eternally - And ending with a kiss. Their fairy-tale like love made all those watching deeply envious.

As the two lovers kept gazing into each other's eyes, the God announced the Emperor's great deeds, before calling out his title as the humans all chanted his name; the Gods boo'ed, angry that he was so arrogant, even going as far as too show off his love-life like that. As Y/N kissed him shamelessly, in front of the whole Valhalla, a young lady, Alvitr, had rageful tears in her eyes for being left forgotten at the Mankind gate.

"Mou mantai! I'm an Emperor, after all." he waved dismissively, before picking her up carefully in his arms. "Come a little closer." she was blushing so bad. "No need to be so rough, my boyish young lady." he chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, little lady. Zheng is going to take good care of you." Y/N patted her hair, watching her completely fall in love with the handsome man, and in one burst of lightning, the Volundr was formed. "Hao! This fits me nicely!" he grinned, showing off his Almighty Spaulders. "As handsome as always, my darling." she kissed his cheek again, though she felt a chill shiver down her spine as the God of the Underworld, Hades, walked forward.

Not only was he ready to avenge his brother, but he was also feeling envious at the way Y/N so openly loved and pampered her husband, the same way he wished his beloved Persephone would.

Before this battle of King vs Emperor could begin, Y/N gladed towards the stands where the Emperors were standing - Right where Chun-Yan and Chun-Ou were, and she got helped up in the stands. An Empress shouldn't have to find her way around the maze-like corridors - The First Empress of China had every right to walk the shortest and easiest road to where she wished to.

As the fight began, Hades thrust forward a single strike, loaded with tremendous power - A single thrust meant to kill. He continues to attack with one heavy-class jab after another, but the Emperor never once got hit; And even when he used one of his strongest attacks, named after his wife, Qin Shi Huang only had his body nicked.

The next straight thrust, the Emperor deflected, easily catching the handle of the bident before throwing back the attack - His own power added to that of Hades, sending him sailing backwards painfully hard - It was Qin Shi Huang's Chi You - Armor form: Sword, Armor, Spear, Crossbow, Halbert - Heavenly Hand of Defense.

As they say, the best offense is a good defense. The reverse is also valid. "Hades, King of the Netherworld... Was it? Let me tell you a thing." as the dust evaporated, the God's form was slumped to the ground, a large crater in the wall where he hit it. "There can only be one Emperor in the world, and that man is I!" he confidently declared.

He didn't fight for six whole days against the Demon God Chi You for nothing. He didn't raise above all the other so-called King for nothing. He didn't become the first unifier of China, the first Emperor, the King where it all began - For nothing!

Ying Zheng - Qin Shi Huang - Was the only man worthy of being called The Emperor!

Hades managed to stand up. He was bleeding from his head and his torso was injured. "Qin Shi Huang, was it? Tell me one thing - What in your eyes makes a King?" "A king?" he grinned. "One who never doubts! Never yields! Never relies! And always stands as the leader of his people! That is what makes a King!" Hades was awestruck by the answer, and even started laughing merrily. Nobody alive ever heard the Lord of the Underworld laugh so boomingly. Ying Zheng joined in the laughing. "You remind me of someone I know... All too well. He was more noble than any other God, more steadfast than any other - And the God most worthy of the title of King. My younger brother, Poseidon, King of the Seas." he extended his arm forward, showing off the weapon. "And I swear by his name, as his elder brother, I shan't give in to a mere King of Men!"

Thus, with a weird stance, Hades unleashed an attack, the proper way of fighting with a spear; With all his might, he delivered a crushing downward swing. The Emperor shielded himself with his arms. "I AM THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD - HADES! FALL AND BE CRUSHED!"

The King of Men was slammed face-down, flat onto the ground. "ZHENG!" Y/N yelled his name, watching his spit a bunch of blood, struggling to stand up. "Ahh, it's sticky, all soaked with blood. Buhao." he groaned, hanging his head. "Mou mantai..." he sighed, a little disappointed as he took off his cherished scarf. All Emperors bowed down in his honour, gazing his handsome face for the first time. "Now then - Shall we continue, King of the Netherworld?" he grinned confidently. despite the blood painting his face. "So you can take one of my attacks and still smile. I would expect nothing less from a King!" Hades grinned, launching into a ferocious flurry with his rigid spear.

Qin Shi Huang has no choice but to roll with the thrusts; He was waiting for an opportunity to use his special technique. As Hades used the Smasher of Earth down on his head, the Emperor had to shield himself again; But this time, he didn't fall - Using his breath to weaken the attack, he grabbed onto the blade of the bident, and slammed the wielder into the ground, breaking it.

But just as before, any wound that Ying Zheng sees, he receives also - And though he managed to injured Hades, he also felt intense pain. Even in a direct combat, Qin used his breath onto Hades' chest, and with his claw-like fingers, he used the Mount Tai, Dragon Claw technique, delivering an intense strike, leaving an awful mark onto his abdomen.

Ying Zheng's starry eyes weren't just beautiful - They could actually see the stars of living beings. The flow of Qi. Qin could see the cruxes as stars. The double edged gift that served him as both a blessing and a curse. "Ahh, this is why I hate fighting with my eyes." Qin grinned, baring through the blazing pain in his abdomen. "Aw man, that really hurts."

"Don't make fun of me... Do you call yourself the Greatest King?" Hades chuckled light-heartedly. "King of the Underworld, you are strong - But I promised two special people that I would become the Greatest King - So I can't lose to anyone!" to get the most out of his fantastic martial arts, Qin Shi Huang was given a Divine Weapon specialising in defence - Alvitr; The secret ability behind her name is - Army Guardian! "You are strong, King of Humans. A promise of never losing, right?" Hades clenched his fist around his own blood. "I also have something I want to protect. My oath."

Thus, Hades advanced again, spinning his bident like a windmill, destroying the air bullets coming his way - Qin could barely defend himself against the attacks coming his way, though even when he struck, the two were equal in power, and Hades' forearm was mauled. "Even though you're human, you made it this far, huh? I'm going to kill you... But first, I wanted to say that you were magnificent." Hades declared boldly. "Hao!" Zheng grinned at his opponent.

From the stands, every human was cheering for the Emperor. Y/N especially was the loudest, along with Chun-Yan and her little boy, Chun-Ou.

Once again, Hades did something remarkably unusual - Not only did he begin to whistle the tune of his dear younger brother, Poseidon, before self-inflicting a large gash on his chest and splattering not only himself, but his weapon in a shower of crimson life essence. Drenched in blood, Hades rushes Qin, changing mid hit his thrust into a downward swing - He managed to find a way to counter his disruption of Qi. "You pose no threat to me."

Hades' blood wasn't SIMPLY blood. "Assemble!" the King of the Underworld ordered his weapon to transform into a mighty strength to be reckoned with; Any Divine Weapon that his blood, the Pluto Ichor, spills upon harbors the God's life force and becomes even more powerful... But the longer he keeps it up, the higher the risk of death. "King of Men, this is my trump card." he got in a battle stance with his new weapon, the Four-Blooded Spear of Destiny - Ichor: Desmos. "Tear at his flesh - Desmos!" this almighty thrust managed to break through the powerful armor of the Emperor. "I cannot lose. As their elder brother, I shan't be defeated!"

The Valkyrie Alvitr made herself seen to her human, worrying over him - Not only half of his hand, but his shoulder also were heavily destroyed. "Mou mantai. Compared to the pain of others, my own pain is scarcely anything to bear." he declared selflessly, like the fantastic leader that he is. "Alvitr... If we don't do something, we stand no chance at winning. I think we should bet everything on this next strike." he spoke, more seriously, only to annoying the young Valkyrie. "THAT WAS PATHETIC!" she yelled at him, as a scold. "SAY WHAT YOU WANT LOUD AND CLEAR, LIKE AN EMPEROR! YOU SHOWED OFF WITH YOUR EMPRESS LIKE THAT - AND NOW YOU WANT TO LOOK UNCOOL AND DIE IN FRONT OF HER?! IN FRONT OF EVERYONE BELIEVING IN YOU?!" she huffed like a brat. "How haughty of you, my boyish young lady." he smiled, looking up at the stands where his most cherished people were cheering on him. "I WANT TO WIN NO MATTER WHAT!" he yelled, loud and clear, as he should have. "Haha, I know! Really... You Kings are so stubborn!" she giggled, reinforcing their bond even further. "Let me give you all the power I've got!" thus, the Almighty Spaulders were recast into the Shi Huang Goujian Sword. The best defense truly is a remarkable offense.

"I am EMPEROR! King among Kings! And a King only takes pride in protecting his people!" Ying Zheng's starry eyes shone brightly with hope and power, whilst his dazzling smile remained as confident as ever before. "Excellent, O, lofty King - Now let us tear at his very heart, Desmos!" he, who bore the pride of the Gods and laid down his own life; The King of the Netherworld -- And he, who knew the pain of others, and fought for the sake of his people, the King Where It All Began.

Only a King can understand the mind of a King. And these two Kings could both tell that the end of the match was nigh.

Hades went forward, using Desmos: Eos once again, and Ying Zheng retaliated with Chi You: Sword Form; Shi Huang Yan cut. He was driven back, his already damaged left arm ripping clean off from the shoulder and flying across the arena. "ZHENG!" though the Emperor could hear his wife's desperate voice, calling out to him - He simply laughed merrily, seeing Alvitr's worried expression, looking down at him.

"It's beautiful...! What a beautiful star I see!" surprising everyone, the Emperor managed to use his sword to stand up once again. "A king never doubts. A King never yields. A King never relies." even with his arms ripped off like that, and the awful injuries sustained, Ying Zheng kept standing tall and ready to fight. "And a King never surrenders!" he was standing up through sheer willpower. "I can't let my wife see her husband dying, you know? I promised to only ever make her happy - So I can't cause her tears of distress now!"

He could hear them - The voices of the people. He's been fighting all this time to keep his promise to Y/N and Chun-Yan; To bring the people not hatred, but happiness. Everyone was cheering for him. The Greatest King of All Kings - Qin Shi Huang.

"Look, I know you don't wanna give up, but what are you gonna do exactly?" Alvitr asked, a little confused but ready to fight to the bitter end by the side of this worthy man. "I'm going to use Heavenly Hand of Defense once more." he spoke weakly, watching her distress and worry. "Trust me - I am THE Emperor!" Alvitr smiled, filled with hope and confidence thanks to this man. "You're just... Haha! No need to ask!" she, too, got in a fighting stance next to him, supporting him from within his soul. "HAO!" the Emperor exclaimed, thrusting the tip of his sword forward, to mit that of Hades' spear. "I consider myself proud to have been able to fight you." both the Gods and Mankind, and every eye upon the arena could sense that this very next clash would be the final one of Round Seven.

And the first to make a move was the King of the Netherworld, with a fearsome thrust from Desmos, loaded with all the Ichor that Hades could give; Against this gully-powered attack from the King of the Netherworld which seemed as though it could kill with a simple graze, the King of Men, without hesitation, caught it. Chi You Armor Form: Heavenly Hand of Defense.

Everyone had braced themselves for the end, save for the King Where It All Began... Who managed to use Tortoise Ripple to hit Desmos' Qi Star. It got weaker. Desmos was alive, not a lifeless weapon, and Hades hadn't taken that into consideration - He brought his spear to life, his most powerful advantage, but also, his most fatal disadvantage.

Ying Zheng had never forgotten, not even for an instant, that his own life began from the end - When the woman he loved most, his wife, along with his cherished mother-figure, Chun-Yan, showed him... That a King is one who arises from the end, and brings about the Beginning.

Desmos was shattering in his fighter's grasp, and the Human representative managed to impale his sword through the God's torso. "Magnificent!" Hades praised. "Nothing less...!" though he tried to use the broken handle of his weapon to kill Qin Shi Huang, he failed, for the Emperor sliced him open. "... from a King." Hades was unable to make good on his vow. He failed as an elder brother, but the Emperor managed to keep his oath to all the people that relied on him. "Forgive me."

As Hades lay dead on the ground, Heimdall announced Emperor Qin Shi Huang as the winner of the Seventh Round of Ragnarok, and with it, Mankind was in the lead, 4 to 3. "I am grateful that I could speak with you, King of the Netherworld." the Emperor clenched his fist to his chest, in honour of the admirable and honorable fight between two Kings. "Pengyou." through this battle to the death, the two Kings became friends.

Gods and Humans alike were showing their respects to the King of the Netherworld as he was shattering into glowing shard of green soul and ascending into the skies. In under 13 minutes, the King of all Kings defeated a God.

Just as before, the Emperors watching the match helped the Phoenix Empress descend into the ring so she could run to her husband, supporting him and the little Valkyrie lady up. "You were fantastic, you two. Now you may rest. I will take you to the infirmary at once." both of them, like a happy family, smiled at each other. "Don't push yourself too hard. You look even more banged up than me." Alvitr joked. "Mou mantai!" he chuckled at her reassuringly. "Mou mantai? You sure don't look it, silly man. Let me support you two." Y/N giggled, getting in between them two and holding onto them with all her force. "Honestly, it's a miracle you're even alive right now." Alvitr scolded him lightly. "That isn't true, Alvitr. Did I not say it before? Trust me!" his reassuring grin made the girl emotional. "You really are stupid." the Valkyrie's smile trembled. "H-Hey, can't you keep standing up?" Y/N released Alvitr from her grasp, supporting the Emperor as he lost consciousness. "Alvitr, if you have any strength in you, please help me hold him!"

The Valkyrie yelled for the paramedics to rush already - He needed urgent, intensive care. The nurses quickly brought the table and put the Emperor, rolling him quickly towards the Intensive Care unit where he will be taken until his condition is stabilised.

Ying Zheng and Alvitr also were kept in capsules to better their vital functions, and in between them, sat Y/N, smiling softly at the two. The Valkyrie was already a divine being, she was going to be alright... But Ying Zheng is still a human and was in a particularly critical condition - Whether he survives this or not, depends on his own strength to live.

"Ying Zheng and Alvitr. The Emperor of Heavens and his protector White Tiger." the Empress spoke gently, each hand laying on one of the glass capsules. "Alvitr, thank you for protecting my beloved Zheng. I will forever be indebted to you. My sweet child. Alvitr." Beautiful and divine, strong and courageous." her voice trembled softly. "My boyish young lady." her gaze turned to her Emperor. "Qin Shi Huang. The Emperor of China. The King Where It All Began. The First Unifier of China. The Golden Dragon of China. The Eye of Heaven." a few tears escaped softly down her cheeks. "Ying Zheng, my beloved husband, the beautiful boy with the starry skies in his eyes. The love of my life." her tender tears turned into heartbroken sobs. "I am so proud of you. So, so proud. You have always been a true leader for our people, and you were always such a wonderful husband, a partner, a friend. My confidant. My heart. My soul. My everything." though Goll and Brunhilde left, the Emperors whose paths were pathed by Qin Shi Huang were all standing outside the room, watching with heavy hearts, the shattered cry of the Vermillion Bird. "If the tears of the Phoenix could truly heal any wound, I would drown you in my cries and save you. If I could give my life to save you, I would transfer all of your wounds to mine own shell of a body, rip my flesh apart with mine own teeth and claws, and give you all of my blood, just to see you alive once more. My most precious sweetheart." the people watching all began to shed tears. "Just like the Goddess Luo who drowned herself in the river, so will I, out of grief, should you depart from this world before me." for one last time until her beloved would flutter his sparkling eyes open again, Y/N dried her tears and smiled brightly at Ying Zheng and Alvitr. "Hao! Mou mantai! Listen to my voice as I sing for you a beautiful melody. May you have sweet dreams and rest peacefully - And when your strength returns, please, return to me. And if not... The Vermillion Bird will burn to ashes, for the last time."

I want to be your love for ever and ever, Without break or decay. When the hills are all flat, The rivers are all dry. When it thunders in winter, When it snows in summer When heaven and earth mingle, Not till then will I part from you.

Thus, a melody was sung, through the cries of the weeping Vermillion bird, burning bright as the Sun, for her celestial Golden Dragon of Heavens, and the almighty White Tiger, shining silver like the moon.

#record of ragnarok imagine #record of ragnarok x reader #record of ragnarok #qin shi huang #qin shi huang x reader #qin shi huang imagine #ying zheng #ying zheng x reader #ying zheng imagine #ror #ror x reader #ror imagine #qin shi huang ror

[olinblogin]

LIST OF FANDOMS I WILL/WON’T WRITE FOR

What fandoms I will write for;

-Lego Monkie Kid

-One Piece

-One Punch Man

-Assassination Classroom (limited characters)

-COD (call of duty, any game)

-ATSV (across the spiderverse)

-TADC (the amazing digital circus)

-Underverse/undetale AUs

-Br0kenColors

What fandoms i won’t write for;

-Genshin Impact/Honkai impact

-Seven Deadly Sins

-Obey Me/Obey Me nightbringer

-FNF (Friday night funkin)

-MHA (my hero academia)

-Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss

-other fandoms that have problematic backgrounds

WHAT I WILL WRITE!!!

-platonic

-light angst

-fluff

-slightly suggestive content (will have a warning)

-smut content (will have a warning)

-childhood romance (no smut.)

-teen romance (no smut.)

-Reader x character

-character x character (very rarely)

-character x Reader x character

-polycules

-T4T (trans for trans relationships)

-F4F (femme for femme relationship)

-M4M (masc for masc relationship)

-F4TF (femme for trans femme)

-F4TM (femme for trans masc)

-F4TNB (femme for trans non binary)

-F4A (femme for any)

-M4TF (masc for trans femme)

-M4TM (masc for trans masc)

-M4TNB (masc for trans non binary)

-M4A (masc for any)

-LGBTQ content

-Yandere Content (not extreme)

WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE!!!

-r@pe/noncon/dubcon

-cnc (consensual non-consent)

-child x adult

-abusive scenarios

-anything to do with children involved in anything sexual

-racism

-ableism

-unsanitary fetishes (i.e. scat, wound f*cking, etc)

-severe angst

-s*icide & s*lf h*rn

Characters I’ll write for in each fandom

BR0KENCOLORS

—characters so far—

Stalker/Damon (usually Poly)

Deliver Guy/DG (usually Poly)

Rasmus

Angel

Shadowman (not much I for abt them, some nsfw - demisexual)

Gunther

Leevi

—characters not in game yet but I will write—

Ace (some nsfw - demisexual)

Catherine

Milkman

Milla (no nsfw)

Salvador (some nsfw - demisexual)

Mimic

Pearl

Venni

LEGO MONKIE KID

- MK (Qi Xioatian)

-Mei Dragon

-Redson

-Sun Wukong

-Six Eared Macaque

-Ao Lie

-Lady Bone Demon

-The Mayor

-Yin & Jin

-Princess Iron Fan (Poly)

-Demon Bull King (Poly)

-Tang

-Pigsy (platonic)

-Sandy (platonic)

-Nezha (platonic)

-Bai He (platonic)

ONE PIECE

- Monkey D. Luffy

-Vinsmoke Sanji

-Roronora Zoro

-Usopp

-Nico Robin

-Franky

-Chopper (platonic)

-Nami

-Jinbei

-Donquixte Doflamingo

-Donquixte Rosiante

-Bartolomeo Kuma

-Boa Hancock

-Dracule Mihawk

-Crocodile

-Shanks

-Rayleigh

-Portgaz D. Ace

-Marco

-Thatch

-Izou

-Edward Newgate, Whitebeard (platonic)

-Eustass Kidd

-Jewelry Bonney

-Killer

-Monkey D. Harp

-Monkey D. Dragon

-Sabo

-Trafalgar Law

-Buggy

-Smoker

-Rob Luci

-Eneru

-Kalifa

-Yamato

-Perona

-Shaci

-Penguin

-Bepo (platonic)

-Akainu

-Kizaru

-Borsalino

ONE PUNCH MAN

-Saitama

-Genos

-Garou

-King

-Child Emporer (platonic)

-Metal Bat

-Speed O’ Sound Sonic

-Mumen Rider

-Watchdog Man (mostly platonic)

-Fubuki

-Atomic Samurai

-Lord Boros

-Bang

-Zombieman

-Flashy Flash

-Sweet Mask

-Charanko

ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM

(Any students such as Nagisa or Karma are platonic)

-Koro-Sensei

-Tadaomi Karasuma

-Irina Jelavic

COD - CALL OF DUTY

-Simon “Ghost” Riley

-John “Soap” MacTavish

-John “Captain” Price

-Horangi (Hong-Jin)

-König

-Nikolai

-Valeria Garza/El Sin Nombre (F4F/NB/AFAB)

-Alejandro Vargas

-Phillip Graves

-Farah Karim

-Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

-Kate Laswell (F4F)

-Gary “Roach” Sanderson

ATSV - ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE

-Miles Morales (platonic/fluff)

-Gwen Stacy (Platonic/Fluff)

-Pavitr Prabhakar (platonic/fluff)

-Prowler Miles (platonic/fuff)

-Peter B. Parker

-Jess Drew

-Miguel O’Hara

-Hobie Brown

TADC - THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS

-Pomni

-Jax

-Zooble

-Kaufmo

-Ragatha

-Gangle

-Caine

-Kinger

UNDERVERSE / UNDERTALE AUS

-Ink!Sans (platonic)

-Classic!Sans

-Nightmare!Sans

-Dream!Sans

-Swap!Sans

-Fell!Sans

-Killer!Sans

-Dust!Sans

-Horror!Sans

-Murder Time Trio (Killer!Sans, Dust!Sans, Horror!sans)

-Error!Sans

-AT!Sans (Geno)

-Fatal Error

-X!Sans (Cross)

-Outer!Sans

-Reaper!Sans

-Fresh!Sans

IF YOU DID NOT SEE ANY CHARACTERS OF INTEREST AND YOU’D LIKE ME TO WRITE PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

please as well reread the will/won’t write section if you’re feeling unsure!

#what i will write #writing #fandom #fandom writing #multiple fandoms #writing requests #request page #request #lmk #cod mw2 #assassination classroom #one punch man #one piece #across the spiderverse #the amazing digital circus #underverse #undertale au #this took way too long

[lesbianerxi]

MXTX NIGHTMARE SHIP BRACKET

Time for the tournament!!! We are here to find the worst possible mxtx pairing. The instructions were to have fun and be creative and Boy Did You Do that. Round 1 will start tonight, let's do this! May the worst possible combination of characters win!

Round 1: complete!

Left side

Nie Mingjue x Shen Jiu VS Wang Lingjiao x Sha Hualing Yiling Laozu Wei Wuxian x Bai Wuxiang VS Qi Rong x Xue Yang Wen Chao x Ning Yingying VS Jin Guangshan x Old Palace Master Lan Wangji x Hua Cheng VS Madam Yu x Qi Rong

Right side

Shen Jiu x Jin Guangyao VS Ling Wen x Shang Qinghua Jiang Cheng x Liu Qingge VS Qi Rong x Shen Jiu Feng Xin x Sha Hualing VS Wei Wuxian x Luo Binghe Little Palace Mistress x Yushi Huang VS Jun Wu x Reader

#mxtx #mdzs #tgcf #svsss #nightmare bracket #mj talks #hey look. i know i am several months late. however. #it's happening now so at least there's that!!! #my graphic design skills may be lacking but my heart is in it #and that's what counts in the end right?? #i'm gonna edit this to include links to all the posts #let's gooooo!!!!

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hi, if that is okay can I please have fem reader dating time skip Bai and Wen headcanon? (As a poly ship)

(YES I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! IMDTY IS AN AMAZING MANHWA. Anyways I really hope you enjoy this!!)

In a Poly Relationship with Bai and Rujun

Wen Rujun x Bai Qi x FEM! Reader

(Warning: Mainly fluff and comfort, but a little angst if you close one eye, also spoilers for IMDTY)

- This would be a very sweet and loving relationship.

- Bai would silently promise herself to protect you two and won’t let anyone hurt you guys. I feel like after the whole situation with Ren she would be more protective of the people she cares about.

- Rujun would be the same way but let’s say if something does happen to you she’ll be blaming herself for it because she feels like it’s her duty to protect you not only as a police officer but as one of your partners.

- Bai love language is gift giving and physical affection. While Rujun’s love language is acts of service.

- I headcannon that Bai is a good cook, so she’s the one who makes the food majority of the time. If it’s one of those rare occasions where you are cooking, Bai loves to come up behind you and hug your waist.

- Rujun loves to make you two laugh and is very good at it too. Whenever one of you are upset she’s the one to cheer you up.

- Rujun likes to impress you two with basketball tricks she learned in her college days. If she fails on some of them she’ll be like “Well I’m a bit rusty so that didn’t count.”

- Bai likes to tease the hell outta Rujun and you’ll be next to them giggling at Rujun’s flustered facial expressions.

- Both Bai and Rujun are good listeners so if you need someone to talk to they’ll be there. Bai is especially great at using her words and giving advice.

- If you want, Rujun will teach you some self defense while Bai watches (it eases some of her anxiety that you’re learning self defense)

- Whenever Bai is working and you and Rujun are cuddling, Rujun loves to be the big spoon. Bai loves coming home to see you guys so peaceful in each others arms.

....

#bai qi #wen rujun #lesbian #lgbtq characters #yuri manhwa #yuri manga #gl manhwa #gl manhua #gl manga

[hurricaneonanesthesia]

Gavin Dating HC’s

Warnings: none

Genre: Fluff

I don’t see very much MLQC stuff on the internet so I thought I would try and write some to help fill that void lol. I’m a sucker for Gavin so have these hehe ~Admin Hurricane

Very shy at first

Hesitant to show affection in front of others because he’s scared of showing weakness

Once he knows you better, he’ll kinda just blush a little then take your hand in his looking away dsbfahsjsjdsjsndf

Takes you for rides on Sparky

he purposely goes faster using his cop privileges just so you’ll grip onto him tighter as you just nyoom past everyone hehehehe

When you’re cold, he’ll kinda just put his jacket over you

Has a soft spot for animals! But don’t tell anyone I told you that 👀

Oh boy if you make him jealous you’re in for a wild ride

The first thing he’ll do is stand across the room glaring at the person that making him jealous

The second thing is he’ll pull you into his grasp and passive aggressively tell the other person to screw off lol

When the two of you are home alone he likes to show off and flex, walking around shirtless lmao

Likes seeing your flustered reactions to that cause it makes his heart melt. You know you like it ;)

He likes to fly you around the city at night cause all the buildings are lit up and you can see the stars and it's just the two of you in the sky

Want more of my writing? Be sure to check out my masterlist :)

If you wanna request something, don’t be afraid to send something my way! Thanks for reading and have a lovely day!

Anesthesia and I have an official Discord server now! Please be sure to join! There you’ll receive notifications for fics when they’re published right away and be able to interact with us outside of the blog. You’ll also be able to rp and interact with characters from each different fandom that I have written for. Hope to see you there, don’t keep us waiting! https://discord.gg/fEPSkXa3fT

#love and producer #evol x love #mr love #mr love queen's choice #mr love gavin #mr love bai qi #bai qi #gavin bai #mr love gavin x reader #bai qi x reader #mr love gavin headcanons #hurricanethedragon #im a simp for gavin and im thirsty as heck leave me alone cause its thirsting hours lmao

[simplyotometrash]

80 with Gavin for prompt list 5?

Gavin x Reader

Warnings: None, unless bad days and crying count

“Your comfort and happiness are more important to me than some stupid dinner.”

Not one thing had gone right all day.

Gavin was finally coming home, so you wanted to do something special for him. The mission he’d been on had taken weeks. You were excited to finally see your boyfriend again. Except nothing wanted to go your way.

Everything started with you waking up late on a day that you had a meeting with Victor. You had spent all night preparing only to oversleep! You were in a rush to get to LFG for your meeting. If you were fast you would have just barely made it. You did get there on time, just barely, but ran into an intern who spilled coffee all down your blouse.

You had to present your work to Victor while covered in hot coffee, there hadn’t even been time to go to the bathroom. He completely eviscerated your report. Nothing about it was well-received by the young and stern CEO. You had until Friday to revise it, thankfully, and he did have a new blouse brought in for you. 

You hoped the day could only get better after the hellish morning you endured. Nothing got better, though. Work felt like a revolving door of problems to solve and phone calls to make. It seemed far more stressful than usual. You ended up working right through lunch, powering on through sheer determination and desire for the day to end so you could see Gavin. 

Anna did make you eat some sandwiches she ordered, bless her. You actually fell asleep at your desk for a little while and no one dared wake you up. You were so cranky when you woke back up that nobody wanted to bother you if it wasn’t needed. 

At least you could still do something nice for Gavin when he returned home. Gavin was the sole motivation to get you through the rest of the day. You were thankful that there were no shoots to be on. That would have been the nail in the coffin for a bad day. Really, you just wanted to go home. Try to forget everything that had happened so you could enjoy being with your boyfriend when he got in.

Of course, nothing went to plan at home, either. 

You got cleaned up just fine. Nothing bad happened in the shower or while picking up the apartment. It was when you went to start dinner that you realized you didn’t have some of the ingredients you needed. The store was already closed. You had to improvise something else.

Gavin never complained when he got to eat your cooking, no matter what you made. He always said that he loved your cooking. That didn’t mean you felt any better about not being able to make the meal you had in mind. Whatever. You could make something a bit more simple. Save a nice, fancy dinner for another night when you hadn’t dealt with a bad day. 

You sat in the living room, finally breathing for what felt like the first time all day. Gavin will be home soon. You thought with a tired smile. You couldn’t wait to hug him, to see him. Long missions were hell for the both of you, especially when he wasn’t allowed to call to check in on you. That was exactly how the mission he was coming home from had been. Gavin hadn’t gotten to call or text you once within the last several weeks. It had been lonely, you couldn’t imagine how he must have felt. He was always worrying for you, always wanting to keep you safe.

A burning smell broke you from your trance. 

“No!” You were frustrated as you removed the burning pot from the stove. Dinner was ruined. You should have kept a closer eye on it.

“MC?” You heard Gavin call out as he set his keys down. He heard you try to hold in a cry and was in the kitchen in the blink of an eye.

“MC? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” He was gently examining you from head to toe, taking your hands in his when he saw no injuries to speak of. 

You fell to your knees, hands still grasped in your boyfriend’s, and you began to cry. You were frustrated that the whole day had gone so badly. You were mad at yourself for burning dinner. You vented about your day to your boyfriend, whose face softened as he sat next to you. You were shifted into his lap and Gavin held you against his chest.

“I burnt dinner and it wasn’t even what I’d planned to make. I ruined-”

“Your comfort and happiness are more important to me than some stupid dinner,” Gavin stated, his thumb brushing tears from your cheek. “How about we order a pizza and watch bad TV movies? All that matters is that I can have you with me.”

Your eyes were red and puffy from your sobs. You wanted to make things nice and nothing worked out. But Gavin had a knack for being able to bring out the good in even the worst things. Having him with you again made all the bad things seem so small and ridiculous.

“Two pizzas! And we can eat ice cream from the tub afterward.”

Gavin laughed, shaking his head before pressing a kiss to your lips. “Fine, fine. You win, pumpkin.”

You may have had a bad day, but you were going to have a great night.

#MLQC #mlqc gavin #bai qi #gavin bai x reader #love and producer #mlqc oneshot #bai qi x reader #waylonwrites #waylonanswersasks

[kazuyaasai-serenaspencerli]

S𝓬𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓬𝓱

GAVIN (CC) x READER

DRABBLE

⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯

"GAVIN BAI..."

"It's just a scratch..."

"This? A scratch?" I point at the wound his cheek and arms, my eyes red and puffy. "Sorry..." He says looking at my back as I reach out for the first aid kit. Not responding to his apologies, Gavin looks at me as I open the first aid kit, his amber eyes never leaving my face. I look at him sideways as he stares, not noticing my gaze. Taking out some medicine and cotton, I continue to look at him.

His cheeks turn red and coughs awkwardly when he realizes I'm looking at him. Sitting down the couch, he sighs, scratching the back of his neck. Chuckling silently, I step closer to him and holds his chin. "It's just a sc-" I purse my lips, making him stop midway and he obediently lifts his chin. I sigh as I dab the cotton with medicine in his cheeks, my face inches away from his.

His familiar scent wraps around me, making me relax as I apply medicine in his wound.

"...!"

"...!"

Our faces turns red after realizing the very short distance between us. I look away as I go back and close the first aid kit. "Be more careful next time... And did you disinfect the wounds in your arms?" I turn to look at him while throwing the cotton in the trashcan.

"Y-yes."

"Good..." I sigh as I sit next to him, looking away. "Yes, I'll be more careful..." He kisses my cheeks and pulls me into his arms, his fingers stroking my hair. "Eli can't stop nagging me and dragged me to the hospital." He frowns.

"And... I promise... I'll try my best not to get hurt..."

"Mm..." I smile, leaning in his arms as he starts to shower me with kisses.

"I promise, Pumpkin..."

⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯

MASTERLIST

⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯⋯⋯♡⋯

#scheduled post #@yumeiwithyou twitter #drabble #mlqc drabble #mlqc #mlqc gavin #mr love #mr love queens choice #mr love queen's choice gavin #mldd #mlqc haku #mlqc bai qi #mr love gavin #cc x reader #comfort chatacter x reader

[spacesquidlings]

Tissue Paper Hearts

Valentines day is approaching, and Gavin finds himself bending to the whims of his tiny daughters, sitting at his kitchen table amidst the glittery storm of their Valentines crafts. His heart aches for his wife, away on a trip, but it also aches from all the love he feels for the family he's built with her.

Pairing: Gavin Bai x OC (Rowan)

Warnings: None

********************************************

There was glitter on the floor. Or rather, there was glittering falling to the floor, cascading through the air like stardust trailing after a shooting star.

There was glitter covering the kitchen tiles. There was glitter in Stella’s heavy winter coat. There was glitter caught in eyelashes and clinging to cheeks and hair. Little hands were covered in glue and stickers, somehow more glitter trailing up their arms, embedded in their nails, catching the light as it sparkled from their ears.

Gavin sat at the kitchen table watching his daughters as they argued over the craft supplies scattered across the table. There were ribbons and glue and pom-poms and stickers and pipe cleaners and popsicle sticks and foam and so many scraps of colourful construction paper that it made him dizzy. And yet the girls continued to fight over the three containers of glitter, puffs of it exploding into the air every time one of them yanked it from her sisters.

Gavin had long since given up any hope of avoiding the clouds of sparkling shrapnel, his hair and shirt practically coated in pink and gold glitter. He also had paint running up his arms, although it was not from anything he had been doing.

It was almost Valentines, and Aurora and Wisteria had been tasked with making valentines cards for each of their classmates. Cordelia and Gardenia were still much too little for school, but that didn’t stop them from trying to participate, making their own messy valentines with their older sisters.

Gavin’s participation had been compulsory, both Aurora and Wisteria taking his hands and whining until he’d caved and agreed to help them put their cards together.

Not that it had taken much pleading on their end. They’d just had to snuggle up on either side of him and give him the biggest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen. Wisteria had even managed to summon crocodile tears to streak down her cheeks while they both pleaded with him to help them with their valentines.

They hadn’t wanted the store-bought ones, although Gavin knew Rowan had a soft spot for them and used to sneak one under everyone’s pillows along with a little treat or toy the night before valentines. No, the girls had wanted to make original ones. With different shapes and ribbons and stickers and so so much glitter.

And how was he supposed to say no to their sweet little faces? How was he supposed to say no when the twins got involved, crawling into his lap and asking him to help?

So he had caved almost immediately, setting the paperwork he’d hoped to get done that afternoon aside and scooping the twins up while Aurora and Wisteria squealed, racing towards the kitchen.

And now he was sitting at the kitchen table, listening to them squabble over the craft supplies while he carefully wrapped an empty tissue box in layers of pink tissue paper.

“Daddy,” Wisteria said, poking her head up from the chair she had squished herself onto with Aurora.

“What is it, baked potato?” He asked, his brow furrowing as he focused on folding the tissue paper so it didn’t tear before he taped it.

“When is mommy coming home?”

He looked up then, his heart aching the tiniest, littlest bit.

“She’ll be home tonight,” he promised, his eyes shifting towards the hallway that led to the front door. The door he kept wishing would creak open, followed by footsteps and the sing-song voice of his favourite person.

Stella would race and skitter into the wall in her haste to get to the door, the girls would squeal and shout as they stumbled over each other to greet their mama. And Rowan would smile and fall to the floor to gather them into her arms and smother them in kisses, laughing as they all tried to talk at once, their voices melding together in a cacophony of noise.

And then she would look up at him and her smile would grow soft and her cheeks would stain pink and he would kiss her brow. And once the girls had scattered and Stella grew bored he would scoop her into his arms and hold her close the rest of the day.

But she wasn’t due back for hours yet. There had been a couple day event she’d wanted to go to with her friends, and even though she had hesitated, not wanting to leave the girls for even a day, Gavin had convinced her to go. He could take care of the girls just fine on his own, and she deserved to have time with her friends.

But that didn’t mean he hadn’t missed her since the moment the front door had closed behind her. His heart ached, his chest feeling hollow, his body cold. He missed her smile, missed her voice, missed her idle chatter during the day. He missed waking up next to her in the morning, missed snuggling into bed with her at night.

It had only been a few days and yet it had felt like an eternity.

She’d been due back that day, and he’d been unable to stop himself from staring at the door. From walking past it every so often, straining his ears for the sound of the lock turning, of a car in the driveway dropping her off.

But of course she wouldn’t be back until the sun had set and the stars had bloomed across the sky, and the sun was still brilliant and gold as it streamed through the kitchen windows, setting the room alight.

“Do you miss mommy?” Aurora asked, her amber eyes wide and sad.

“I do,” he said, trying and failing to turn his attention back to the four tissue boxes he had to help decorate. “I miss her a lot.”

Aurora leaned forward, giving his hand a light pat. “She’ll be home soon! And then you can hug her lots!”

He smiled, his heart growing warm as Aurora beamed up at him. She was so sweet and gentle and kind. He reached out to tossle her hair, chuckling. “I love you, sweet potato. You’ll be able to hug mommy soon, too.”

“Oh good,” Wisteria heaved, letting her head fall to the table, stretching her arms out in front of her. “She kept asking me for extra hugs.”

“You were the one with nightmares!” Aurora cried, looking heartbroken at the idea that her sister didn’t want hugs.

She turned to Gavin, her wide eyes lined in silver, her bottom lip quivering. “She wanted hugs! She had nightmares!”

“You wanted hugs too,” Wisteria grumbled. “You kept crying after daddy turned the lights off.”

“I did not,” she whined, shaking her head.

Gavin did his best to hold in his sigh. Aurora had cried a lot after she’d been put to bed for the last few days. Rowan was usually the one that put her and Wisteria to bed, and Aurora usually ended up cuddling with Rowan for a very long while before finally being tucked into her blankets and going to sleep.

He’d intervened every night since Rowan had been gone, finding Wisteria and Aurora cuddled up together, Aurora’s usually rosy cheeks streaked with tears. Wisteria would already be half asleep, but Aurora would still be sniffling and whimpering as Gavin gently untangled them before lifting Aurora up, clutching her close. And each night he’d inevitably taken her back to bed to sleep with him, her little hands clinging to his shirt so tightly there’d been no hope of her letting go.

He and Rowan had sneaking suspicions that Wisteria wasn’t the only one having nightmares, but Aurora refused to say a word about it if she was.

But he’d just held Aurora very tightly until her sobs had quieted and her breathing had slowed and her little fists had finally loosened from his shirt. And then once she’d finally fallen asleep he’d felt comfortable enough letting himself slip away into oblivion too.

Aurora continued to stare at him, new tears slipping down her cheeks. Gavin only shook his head, reaching out to ruffle her hair. “You’ve been very brave, sweet potato. And I’m sure mommy will want a million hugs from you once she’s back.”

Aurora sniffled, but her smile quickly returned. “I can’t wait to show her our valentines! I hope she’ll think they’re pretty.”

“I’m sure she will,” he said, his gaze flicking over the array of different coloured hearts smothered in ribbons and glitter. He couldn’t help smiling a little, already picturing her face in his mind, lighting up at the mess scattered across the kitchen table.

He could practically hear her squealing with delight, bending over the table to sing ‘These are wonderful! They’re so pretty!’

“Daddy, have you finished the mailboxes yet?”

Wisteria’s voice drew Gavin from his imagination, his heart aching a little as he remembered Rowan was not yet home, and she could not smile at him and the girls and their glittery mess.

Gavin stared down at the tissue box in his hand, the second of four he’d been instructed to put together. He shook his head, showing Wisteria. “Not yet. They’re taking me a while to make.”

Wisteria pouted, narrowing her eyes as she surveyed his work. “It needs more stickers, daddy.”

Gavin frowned as he looked at the tissue box in his hand. “It’s got lots of stickers on it.”

“It needs more!” She cried, throwing her arms up. “More! Stickers!”

Gavin nodded, electing to agree with her on this. He was not, after all, a professional tissue box decorator. And Wisteria, as she very often liked to say, was a professional at deciding where stickers went.

Although he did have to question her decisions when the stickers ended up stuck to the table and the cabinets and somehow the ceiling in the living room.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know how the stickers had gotten up there.

Aurora reached across the table, dragging a bottle of liquid glue towards her.

“Do you need some help with that?” Gavin asked, starting to stand so he could move next to her.

“Daddy you have to put the stickers on the box!” Wisteria cried, the twins giggling at her outburst. “‘Rora is an expert!”

Aurora bobbed her head, holding the glue bottle up over her head like a trophy. “I’m okay! I’m very careful.”

She hadn’t even finished her sentence before glue spilled from the cap, dripping onto her dress.

Aurora paused, blinking in confusion as she stared down at the glob of glue. Her brows knit together in confusion, her bottom lip sticking out as she contemplated the accident.

“Oh.”

Gavin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, even as Wisteria and the twins gasped in horror.

Aurora slowly turned her face towards Gavin, looking more confused than anything. “Daddy, please help.”

This time he really couldn’t stop himself from snorting as he stood, grabbing a napkin before kneeling next to her. “Let me get that before it dries.”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” she murmured, her little shoulders slumping forward. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” he said, making sure to keep his voice soft and calm for her. “It’s alright. The cap probably wasn’t screwed on tight enough.”

She sniffled. “Will my dress be okay?”

He smiled up at her, having caught the glue in time before it could congeal that it was barely even noticeable. “Practically good as new.”

Aurora clapped her hands, grinning as he stood. “Thank you for helping.”

He ruffled her hair, making his way back to his seat as the girls returned to their cards. They bickered over some of the supplies, heaving great, dramatic sighs as they settled for some other task. For his part, Gavin did his best to nod along, 4 different conversations twisting and twining into the air until they all grew so muddled he could not for the life of him figure out who was talking about what.

So he nodded along, adding little “ohs” and “hmms” where he saw fit, while keeping himself focused on the tissue boxes until all four were complete.

“Well, what do we think?” Gavin asked, brandishing the tissue boxes when their conversations quieted.

The twins gasped, squealing as they tried to take the boxes from Gavin.

“Perfect!” Cordelia sang.

“I love it,” Gardenia breathed, clutching hers to her chest.

Aurora had a similar reaction, although a line formed between her brows the more she stared at her box, spinning it around on the table in front of her.

Wisteria was uncharacteristically quiet, setting the box to the side and immediately staring up at the ceiling.

Gavin tipped his head to the side, concern bubbling in his chest. What was Wisteria thinking about?

“Hey baked potato,” he said, trying to stop his worry from staining his words. Her eyes had a faraway look in them, the look usually reserved for when she was thinking of something particularly mischievous. “What are you thinking of?”

Wisteria blinked, slowly sliding her amber gaze down until she met Gavin’s. She blinked again, seeming lost for a moment. And then her eyes cleared and she shrugged. “I’m hungry.”

Now it was Gavin’s turn to blink. He hadn’t realized it had gotten so late. But the sun was already beginning to set, and when he checked the time he saw that it was almost time for dinner.

Which was not good, because he hadn’t had anything planned for the night yet.

“I want McDonalds,” Wisteria said, crossing her arms and nodding, as if that was the wisest thing anyone had ever said. “I want a big mac.”

“You’re too short for a big mac,” Aurora said, rolling her eyes.

Wisteria lifted her chin. “I want two big macs!”

Gavin snorted, pulling his phone out. Maybe takeout tonight wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It was getting late and it would take him at least an hour to make anything.

Aurora leapt to her feet as she saw Gavin’s phone light up. “I want McDonalds too, daddy! They have barbies! I want a barbie!”

“Well I want a dinosaur,” Wisteria countered, sounding awfully haughty for a six year old who demanded two burgers when she’d never even been able to finish one.

“They don’t give toys with big macs,” Gavin said, arching a brow. “You can get a happy meal if you want the toy.”

Wisteria groaned, flopping back in her chair. “Fine, I will take the happy meal.”

Cordelia turned to Gavin with wide eyes, Gardenia beside her with her hands clasped over her heart. “Can we have nuggies?”

Gavin stood so he could scoop both twins into his arms, squeezing them tight as they squealed. “Of course you both can have nuggets.”

He tossed one over each shoulder, chuckling as they tried to crawl onto his head. “Careful, we don’t want you two to fall.”

“We’re careful!” Cordelia said, sounding as indignant as a four year old could.

“Very careful,” Gardenia added, right as she yanked on Gavin’s hair to steady herself.

He winced, pulling up the delivery app for their food.

He’d only just made the order when Aurora’s expression grew pensive as she again spun her tissue box around.

“Is there something wrong with your box, Aurora?” He asked, reaching up to grab Cordelia as she wobbled on his shoulder.

Aurora shook her head. “No. I was just thinking.”

“And what were you thinking?”

She tipped her head to the side, wrinkling her nose. “Do we have two more of these?”

“Two more tissue boxes?”

She nodded, patting her own box. “Yeah.”

He hummed, bouncing as he walked towards the cupboard they kept the spare tissues and toilet paper and paper towels in. The twins giggled, clutching at his head as he walked.

Gavin crouched, gently setting the twins down as he rifled through the cupboard until he found the boxes. They were full, but he would just stack those extra tissues with the others he’d had to remove for the girls’ boxes.

“We definitely have two more,” he said, twisting around to show Aurora the two boxes.

“Can I have them?” She asked, hopping down from her chair, her little hands reaching out to take them.

Gavin narrowed his eyes and he paused, trying to figure out why she would need two more tissue boxes.

“For a craft!” Aurora announced, wiggling her fingers when he didn’t cough up the box.

“What kind of craft?”

She crossed her arms. “It’s a surprise!”

He frowned, trying to figure out if there was anything particularly troublesome she could do with two tissue boxes. But this was also Aurora and she was not the criminal mastermind of the four.

Finally he relented, handing the two additional boxes to her. “And you’re sure you won’t tell me what you’re up to?”

Aurora shook her head, skipping back to the table. “Nope!”

He sighed, scooping the twins back up and spinning them around. “Should we get back to your valentines now, tater tots!”

They squealed, clutching at his shoulders as he spun them.

“Actually,” Aurora said, standing up on her chair with her hands on her fist. “Daddy, you need to leave.”

Gavin paused, staring at her as Wisteria stood up behind her, looking particularly gleeful at his sudden banishment.

“Pardon?”

“You have to leave,” she said again.

“You have to go, daddy!” Wisteria cried, seeming far too happy.

“Why?”

“For the surprise,” Aurora said, staring at him like the answer was obvious.

“Why can’t I be here?”

“Go!” Wisteria squealed, giggling as she jumped to her feet, mimicking Aurora’s pose.

“Because it’s a surprise,” Aurora groaned, rolling her eyes. “You can’t see it if it’s a surprise, daddy.”

“Get out of here!” Wisteria sang, jabbing her finger at the door. “Shoo!”

Cordelia giggled, waving her hand in the same direction as Wisteria. “Shoo!”

Gavin groaned, pressing his face against the top of Cordelia’s head. “Not you too, tater tot.”

“Shoo,” Gardenia whispered, covering her mouth with her little hands as she giggled.

Gavin sighed, shaking his head. “I’ve been outnumbered.”

Aurora hopped down from her chair, Wisteria following after her, her Sailor Moon themed skirt fluttering in the air as she bounced behind her older sister.

Aurora pressed her palms against Gavin’s legs, shoving him towards the door. “Daddy you have to go!”

Wisteria joined in Aurora’s shenanigans, pushing him towards the door. “Gotta go! ‘Rora said so!”

“Since when do you listen to Aurora?” He asked, bemused as the twins continued to giggle.

“Since now!”

He chuckled, stumbling towards the door. “Okay, okay, I’m going.”

“Wait!” Aurora shouted, jumping away and racing in front of Gavin.

He arched a brow. “Wait?”

“Leave Cordelia and Gardenia.”

The twins squealed, immediately wiggling in Gavin’s arms as they tried to get down.

“What do you mean?!” He asked, feeling childishly indignant as he clutched the twins tighter. “You want me to be on my own?”

Aurora paused, her expression growing pensive. “You could have Stella with you! She’ll keep you company.”

Gavin blinked. “But not a single one of my own daughters?”

Aurora sighed, patting Gavin’s leg as if that offered any comfort to him as he finally let the twins escape his arms. “We love you daddy!”

“We just don’t want you here right now,” Wisteria added, giving him a bright smile as if she’d just told him something very sweet.

“Well I can’t argue with that,” he muttered, letting them shove him the rest of the way out of the room.

“Go have a nap!” Aurora said, waving at him as he finally made his way from the kitchen. “You’re always telling us and mommy to have a nap! You should have one.”

He arched a brow again. “I’m not tired.”

“That’s what you think,” she said, the twins in the background still parroting “shoo! Shoo!” and giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world.

“Cuddle with Stella! You’ll feel nice and sleepy after that.”

Sighing, Gavin felt as though he had no choice but to make the lonely trek to the living room. He had been banished from the kitchen, the sounds of the girls’ giggles echoing behind him, trailing in his wake as he trudged forward.

He couldn’t help feeling a little sad, even if they were just playing around. He’d been having fun, he liked listening to them chatter, and he liked helping them with their crafts.

He sighed, falling back onto the couch and throwing his arm over his face. A few moments later and he felt Stella’s nose bumping against his palm, her nails clicking on the hardwood floors as she tapped her paws impatiently.

“They’ve kicked me out, Stella,” he said, his hand flopping down so he could scratch between her ears. “They’ve kicked me out of the kitchen!”

Stella whined, tapping her paws again before hopping up onto the couch and wiggling next to him.

He arched a brow as she wagged her tail, her paws planted on his chest.

“Oh, the other pets weren’t as good for you?”

She grumbled in response, glaring at him until he resumed scratching between her ears and down her back.

“I wish Rowan were here,” he murmured, his gaze sliding towards the front. “She would sit with me.”

Stella whined, flopping onto her side.

“She would cuddle with me,” Gavin continued, imagining Rowan nestled against him. Her head would be on his chest, her hair splayed around her like a halo. Her fingers tracing invisible shapes against his arm as she teased him for being kicked out by the girls. And then she would tilt her head up and press a kiss just beneath his jaw. And then she would tell him that she loves him more than anything.

Stella whined louder, smacking her paw against his face, knocking him back to the present. To a world where Rowan hadn’t yet returned home.

He closed his eyes, groaning as he returned to petting Stella. “You’re awfully needy today.”

In a very remarkable turn of events, Stella did not have a reply.

Gavin snorted. “You must miss Rowan, too.”

She tried pressing closer, and Gavin sighed, letting her cuddle up with him. Rowan usually snuggled her like this, like she was a big plush toy. Or maybe a very fluffy baby. And Stella would snore softly, content to cuddle with Rowan all day if she let her.

“I miss her too,” Gavin sighed. “I miss her so much.”

Stella yawned, opening her eyes for one moment to peer at him curiously before closing them again.

“Although if she were here, you would not be getting these cuddles,” he said, flicking Stella’s ear. “Rowan would have beaten you to it. She would have been laying on me before I’d even laid down.”

He hummed, his eyes beginning to feel heavy. Or maybe he would have carried her. Would have scooped her into his arms and settled her on his chest as he’d laid back on the couch. Just so he could stay close to her. And he loved to carry her, loved to clutch her close to his heart, to feel her breath on his skin as she pressed her face against his throat.

He loved to press kisses to the top of her head, to feel the touch of her lips as she brushed featherlight kisses beneath his jaw in return. To feel her arms circling his throat as she tried pressing herself closer.

He even loved the little way she would pout when he tried to get up. To go to the bathroom or to get a snack or to help one of the girls who had somehow gotten her head stuck between banisters on the stairs. She would squirm in his arms and pout and give him big, puppy dog eyes, begging him not to get up. Which only made him hurry through whatever he was doing faster, just so he could be back with her again.

He hadn’t realized his eyes had grown so heavy until he was half asleep, dreaming of Rowan’s hand in his and her hair tickling his cheek as it blew against his face.

And then he was being very roughly awoken by a pair of tiny hands smacking his arm.

“Daddy,” Wisteria whined, wrinkling her nose as she pouted. “Daddy, I need you to cut something.”

Gavin squinted, unable to focus on the paper Wisteria was waving through the air. “What do you need me to cut, baked potato?”

“These!” Wisteria squealed, squeezing her eyes shut and jumping.

He chuckled as he sat up, trying to take the paper from her hand. “I don’t know what these are.”

“Valentines! They’re valentines!”

He nodded, gently taking the safety scissors from her other hand and cutting out the messy shapes sketched over the paper.

“I wanted to cut them myself, but Aurora and Gardenia told me not to,” Wisteria pouted. “I was gonna make them so pretty.”

He silently thanked Aurora and Gardenia for remembering the rules he and Rowan had made about scissors. He was sure Wisteria remembered too, but he doubted she would pay attention to the rule if she didn’t want to.

“Well when you’re bigger you’ll be able to cut up as much paper as you want.”

She huffed, taking her newly cut valentines and marching from the room. “I’m already tall!”

“Stella is taller than you.”

Wisteria spun around, jumping up onto her toes. “She is not! See?!”

Gavin snorted, getting up as Wisteria stretched her arms above her head, as if that would somehow prove how tall she was. He was going to pick her up and toss her into the air, but she squealed before he could get close, sprinting away shouting that he’d “never catch her alive.”

He shrugged, heading back towards the couch. But he hadn’t even sat down yet when Aurora wandered in, a hot glue gun in one hand and a half decorated tissue box in the other.

“Daddy,” she whined, holding them up. “Will you please help me?”

He stood up again, taking the glue gun from her little hand. How could he say no to her?

“What do you need me to do, sweet potato?”

“Can you glue the tissue paper?” She asked, pointing to tissue paper held on by tape and shiny heart-shaped stickers.

He wrinkled his brow. “You didn’t want to use a glue stick for this?”

She shook her head, pointing to the stick of unmelted glue in the glue gun. “I wanted to use the sparkly glue mommy bought! It’s so pretty!”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before moving to the nearest wall outlet and plugging the glue gun in. “This must be an awfully special craft to use the sparkly glue.”

Aurora nodded her head very seriously.

“Who’s it for?”

Her face broke out into a giant grin. “Nice try! I’m not telling!”

He chuckled. “You’re too smart for me, sweet potato.”

She bobbed her head, watching his work carefully as he began squeezing out some of the glue. “I’m the smartest! I can count all the way to a hundred!”

Gavin hummed, grinning as she beamed at him. “That’s very impressive.”

“Do you wanna hear?”

He opened his mouth to say maybe not, but it was too late, she had already started reciting the numbers, her hands clasped in front of her chest as if she were reciting a solemn vow.

Gavin nodded along, carefully gluing down the layers of tissue paper she’d taped to the box until it was swathed in pink and purple and yellow and so much glitter glue some of the sparkles were spiralling to the floor.

But she wasn’t yet done counting, so Gavin just unplugged the glue gun and waited, the tissue box nestled in his lap as he cupped his chin, listening to her quietly.

“Ninety-seven, ninety-eight,” Aurora took a great big breath, squeezing her eyes closed as she continued. “Ninety-nine, one hundred!”

Gavin clapped, figuring that was the best response to give to her as her eyes flew open and she beamed at him, dancing on her toes.

“Was that good?” She asked, bouncing up and down.

“That was amazing,” he applauded. “You were amazing, sweet potato.”

She giggled, wiggling her shoulders. “Thank you, daddy! I’m very smart, right?”

“Oh the smartest.”

She hiccuped, throwing her arms around his neck. “I love you, daddy!”

He wrapped his arms around her little body, holding her close. He loved her so much. He loved his tiny little daughter with all his heart.

“I love you, too.”

She giggled, jumping back to pick up the tissue box. “Okay! I’m going back to finish the surprise now!”

“Since I helped, will you tell me anything about it?”

She grinned wide. “Nope! I don’t wanna ruin the surprise!”

He snorted as she skipped away, back to the kitchen. He really wasn’t going to know what they were up to, was he?

Which was a shocking revelation if he were being honest. Because not even a full ten minutes had passed before Aurora was back, asking him to cut some shapes for her out of a glittery golden card stock. And barely three minutes after that Gardenia toddled out to ask him to help her take some stickers off a sheet.

And then Gardenia came back to complain about Cordelia paying more attention to her pet rock than to her own sisters. Gavin had needed to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back the grin that was threatening to burst across his face while Gardenia vented to him.

Cordelia loved that rock, and treated it like a pet, and even had a special bed just for the rock to sleep in each night.

But sometimes she would give the rock just a little too much attention, and she’d end up completely ignoring her sisters. And while Aurora and Wisteria were big enough not to get too upset over it, Gardenia was the littlest, and she often clung to her twin like they were combined, and she was always heartbroken when Cordelia ignored her in favour of her favourite toy.

So Gavin gathered Gardenia up into his arms, rocking her gently as her words turned incoherent, fat tears slipping down her cheeks. She clutched his shirt tightly, pressing her face against his shoulder when she felt too overwhelmed to make even the tiniest noise.

He pressed kisses to the top of her head, murmuring that he loved her, that her sister loved her, that Cordelia was trying to have fun with her toy, that she was still important to her twin. That she was so incredibly important to him and Rowan.

She sniffled, slowly peeling away from his shirt to stare up at him with puffy, red-rimmed eyes. Her bottom lip trembled, and snot dripped from her nose.

“Promise?” She pleaded, her voice small and fragile as she stared up at him.

“I promise, tater tot,” he murmured, gently wiping the tears from her eyes. “Me and mommy love you so much. You’re so important.”

“And Cordelia loves me?”

“Of course she does,” he said. He pulled the sleeve of his shirt over his hand, wiping the snot from her nose. “You’re her sister. She loves you more than anything.”

Gardenia’s expression darkened. “More than her rocks?”

“Much more than her rocks.”

Gardenia nodded for a minute, seeming uncertain. Then after a few moments her little hands twisted in the fabric of his shirt and she peered up at him gravely.

“I wanna stay with you,” she mumbled, her brows drawing low. “Wanna stay.”

“You can stay with me,” he said, smiling as he leaned back against the pillows of the couch, kissing the top of her head. “You can stay as long as you want, tater tot.”

“Okay,” her voice was little more than a breath, but she looked relieved, like she couldn’t stand going back into the kitchen with the others.

“Why don’t I put a movie on for you. How does that sound?”

She nodded her head, but remained quiet as he scrolled through their extensive selection of Barbie movies, searching for Gardenia’s favourite.

“That one, daddy,” she muttered, pointing at the screen as he paused over Fairytopia.

“This one?” He asked, clicking the title so an image of barbie with a very sparkly pair of wings appeared on the screen.

“Yes.”

He smiled as he hit play, glad to see she had calmed down a little. She wasn’t sniffling anymore, and she’d relaxed her death-grip on his shirt. She kicked her legs idly, stretching out on his chest, her eyes glued to the television screen as the opening credits played.

He couldn’t help chuckling as she giggled, delighted as a strange little blue creature appeared on screen. He wanted her happy, he wanted to be able to make her and her sisters happy.

He would watch a million doll-inspired films on repeat for eternity if it meant he could make them happy, if it meant listening to her laughter as the weird blue creature chattered incomprehensibly.

He didn’t even realize he was falling asleep until he awoke with a start, feeling something sticky pressing against his cheek.

Musical laughter curled upwards, muffled only by a soft voice hissing “quiet! We can’t wake him.”

Gavin chose that exact moment to open his eyes, startling the girls as they fell backwards in a pile of giggles and bright amber eyes.

“And why should you not wake me?” he asked, unable to stop himself from grinning as they all gasped with laughter. Wisteria, in particular, seemed the most delighted, laughing louder than all her sisters, her eyes filled with mischief.

She was also the one holding a glue stick.

He cocked his head to the side, crossing his arms as they continued to laugh. “Well? What do you girls have to say for yourself? Wisteria”

Wisteria snorted, covering her face as she squealed.

“Aurora?”

Aurora bit down on her bottom lip, shaking her head.

“Cordelia?”

She just cackled, rolling over and pressing her face against Aurora’s tummy.

Gavin turned to Gardenia, whose tiny shoulders were shaking from laughing, her eyes shining like stars, not a single trace of her earlier tears and distress to be found on her round, rosy face.

Whatever was happening here, it was all worth it.

“Gardenia? Do you have something to say?”

She whipped her head to the side, staring right at Wisteria, as if looking to be told what to say.

“‘DENIA, NO!” Wisteria squealed, her eyes widening as Gavin zeroed in on her.

“You’re the mastermind I see,” he announced, scooping her up before she could scamper away.

“SAVE ME!” She cried, squirming desperately in his arms.

But the other three did not come to her rescue, all of them skittering away, hiding behind chairs and the coffee table as Gavin started tickling Wisteria until she was gasping with laughter.

“You’re under arrest!” He said, laughing as Wisteria wiggled and squirmed in his arms. “Now confess! What did you do!”

She tried pushing his arms away to no avail. “-Was just a few googly eyes!”

Gavin narrowed his eyes, pausing as he lifted a hand to his cheek, feeling something small and plastic attached to his face.

“You glued googly eyes to my face?”

Wisteria snickered, covering her mouth, refusing to admit to anything.

“It’s too late, your sisters ratted you out!”

“Did not!” Gardenia shouted, sounding indignant as she stood up and put her fists on her hips. “I did nothing!”

“So you’re all guilty then?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Three pairs of eyes widened, and before he could take even a step they all sprinted from the room, screaming with laughter, their footsteps echoing in their wake.

“You’ll never catch them!” Wisteria sang, seeming awfully proud for someone who was already caught.

Gavin arched a brow, tickling her once more for good measure. “We’ll see about that!”

He chased them around the house, listening for the telltale creak of the floor beneath their feet or their ragged breaths from running nonstop. He paused on the other side of doors, straining his ears to listen for sweet little giggles, peeking underneath beds to see if there was a little body shaking with laughter as he shocked them.

They only stopped once a knock on the door echoed through the house, sending Stella racing for the door, eager to meet whoever had stopped on their front step.

Aurora helped hold Stella back while Gavin retrieved the food, waving at the delivery driver in thanks even as Stella barked, her paws scratching against the hardwood of the entrance. She whined as he closed the door, clearly heartbroken at being denied the chance to make a new friend.

Aurora patted Stella’s head, cooing softly, telling her it was okay, they’d get her some extra treats to make up for it.

Gavin ruffled Aurora’s hair as he walked past, narrowing his eyes as he swept his gaze down the hall, where the twins had plopped down, playing with a few dolls.

“Where’s your sister?” He asked, furrowing his brow as he counted three heads.

Three.

Where was the fourth?

Cordelia and Gardenia pointed at each other, staring up at him with big innocent eyes that seemed a little suspicious if he were being honest. But still he couldn’t help snorting as he turned to Aurora, who was still petting Stella and very pointedly not looking at Gavin.

“Aurora?” He asked, arching a brow as her shoulders stiffened. “Where’s your sister?”

“Which one?” She asked, her voice squeaking.

He sighed. “Wisteria.”

She shrugged, refusing to look up at him. “I don’t know. Wisteria likes to hide.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line, humming as he surveyed the room. There wasn’t anywhere for Wisteria to hide here. Which meant she was hiding somewhere else.

Waiting.

Or perhaps just sleeping. She fell asleep a little too often in her preferred hiding places.

He did his best not to swear as his stomach churned. They’d probably end up searching for her all night.

But the other girls didn’t seem to share his same concern, instead acting blissfully ignorant as they played amongst themselves.

Gavin lifted the bag of food in the air, struggling to keep his expression neutral as they all jumped to their feet. “We’re not eating until we find your sister.”

They all gasped, but none so loud as Wisteria, who emerged from her hidden fortress with messy hair and sleep heavy eyes, gaping at him.

“What do you mean?!”

He scooped her up before she could think better of revealing herself, tossing her over his shoulder. “Caught you!”

“No fair, daddy!” She cried, smacking his back. “You tricked us!”

“I did mean it,” he said, bouncing in place. “We wouldn’t have eaten until we found you.”

Which was probably the only way they would have found her.

Wisteria grumbled, wiggling limply, as if that would somehow free her from his arms.

“Do you not want your burger?” He asked. “I could give it to one of your sisters. Or Stella maybe.”

“No!” She shrieked, pulling back so she could slap her hands on either side of his face, holding his gaze. “I want it! I want the burger!”

“Then no more hiding for today.”

She wilted instantly, sighing. “Okay.”

Gavin would have laughed had Aurora not very abruptly yanked on his shirt then, stopping him on his way to the kitchen.

“You can’t go into the kitchen!” She cried. “You’ll ruin the surprise!”

“Where are we supposed to eat then?”

“The couch!” She said, rolling her eyes like it was obvious. “Then we can watch a movie!”

Gardenia bounced up and down behind Aurora. “Like Barbie!”

Even Wisteria was nodding along, her expression serious. “She’s right.”

Gavin blinked, turning to Cordelia hoping to find a little support. But she was standing at his side, hopping up and down trying to pry the takeout bag from his hand and not listening to a single thing being said.

“I want nuggets,” she hissed, her eyes narrowing as she focused on the bag.

He sighed, defeated. He supposed he could live a life without ever going into the kitchen again.

So they made their way to the living room instead, all four girls flanking him and watching him like golden-eyed vultures as he took out each of their dinners.

“Did I get a barbie?” Gardenia asked curiously, making grabby hands at one of the tightly packaged happy meals.

Gavin opened it up to peek inside, spotting the bright blonde hair of the doll included in the meal. He looked back up at Gardenia, her bottom lip quivering.

“Why don’t you take a look for yourself?”

He handed her the happy meal, balancing the bottom as she struggled to hold it in her hands. He had to bite down on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling and spoiling the surprise, even as Gardenia eyed the box suspiciously. She hummed, settling it in her lap as she cautiously pulled the lid open.

And then her eyes bugged out as she spotted the plastic Barbie doll in the box, and she squealed as she thrust it into the air.

“I got the Barbie!”

Gavin ruffled her hair, sunshine flooding his heart. She was too busy playing with her new doll to pay much attention to him, but she did shoot him a small smile before returning to her play.

“Alright,” he said, distributing the remaining happy meals. “Let’s eat our food first, and then we can play, okay potatoes?”

“Okay,” they all echoed, not listening to him at all as they removed their toys first.

“Eat,” he insisted, gently setting their food in their laps. “Before Stella eats your food for you!”

His timing was perfect, because just as he said it, Stella walked into the room, her tail wagging and her attention zeroing on the food.

The girls shrieked, jumping backwards and pressing themselves against the back of the couch.

“Get away, Stella!” Wisteria shouted, holding her burger over her head.

“Go way!” Cordelia cried.

Gardenia only whined, pressing her face against Gavin’s shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut. “Want my nuggies.”

Only Aurora seemed unperturbed, hopping down from the couch with her happy meal swinging from her hand. She nestled up next to Stella, prying open her box and carefully setting aside her own Barbie doll.

“Figures only ‘Rora would be able to sit with Stella,” Wisteria grumbled, flopping onto her back. “Stella wouldn’t want her food.”

“Stella doesn’t take my food because we have an understanding,” Aurora said primly, delicately taking out her McDonalds hotcakes and flipping open the container.

“And what kind of understanding is that?” Gavin asked, gently pushing Cordelia away as she tried to take the top bun of his burger off to steal the pickles.

“That we’re best friends,” she said, beaming. “And she wouldn’t steal food from her best friend!”

“It’s ‘cause she’s got treats in her pocket,” Wisteria muttered, glowering down at her burger. “That’s why Stella doesn’t eat her foods.”

Gavin hummed, not bothering to mention that it was actually because of him that Stella wouldn’t take Aurora’s food, or any of their food. Not unless it was offered, anyways. He’d done his best to be strict about stealing food when she’d been a puppy, and now she was the model of perfection. She could sit next to the table as they ate and she wouldn’t even try to beg.

Usually, anyways. Unless one of the girls snuck her their scraps. Or Rowan shared some of their food while she was cooking.

Gavin pressed his lips into a thin line. He’d have to work on being stricter with the girls, too. They really couldn’t have Stella start begging for food. She was a pretty big dog, and she was smart, and they had to be careful she didn’t get too rough or too demanding.

Although she seemed to be doing alright so far. Aurora was pouring syrup onto her hotcakes and Stella had curled up around her, snoring quietly.

Maybe it would be alright.

For now, anyways.

“Daddy,” Wisteria said, tugging on Gavin’s sleeve, drawing his attention. “You look like you’re going to fart.”

Gavin blinked, forgetting what he’d been thinking about. “I’m sorry?”

“Did you eat something that hurt your tummy?” She asked, tugging on his sleeve again. “Do you need the medicine mommy gives us?”

Cordelia pulled a face. “Yucky.”

“Stinky!” Gardenia cried.

Gavin blinked again, lost. “I’m okay, I was just thinking.”

Wisteria snickered. “Thinking about farting.”

“Wisteria Faye!”

She continued to giggle, finally taking a bite of her burger.

Gavin sighed, turning up the movie’s volume. Maybe Barbie would distract them from poking fun at him for a few moments.

It unfortunately did not keep them occupied in the least. Because the moment they had finished scarfing down their food they turned their attention to his.

Aurora was first, softly padding across the room and leaning against his lap, peering up at him with wide puppy-dog eyes. She poked his arm before reaching for his half-eaten burger, not even asking permission.

He rolled his eyes, holding it out for her so she could pick it up. “Save some for me.”

She grinned, taking the biggest bite he had ever seen before scampering away to finish her apple slices.

Then the twins stole his fries, in big fistfuls at a time, not even trying to be sneaky about it.

And then Wisteria grabbed his drink, nearly spilling it as she tried balancing the large in her tiny hands.

“Careful,” he hissed, balancing it as pop spilled from the top.

“I’m very careful,” she sang, right as she spilled more pop onto her skirt.

Gavin decided now was not the time to make a comment on that.

His eyes felt heavy as he cleaned up the empty takeout bags and containers. Wisteria was slumped on the couch, blankets wrapped around her like a cocoon, already fast asleep. The twins’ attention was glued to the television and the saturated pinks and blues and yellows of the magical Barbie movie currently playing.

Gavin narrowed his eyes. Was this the same movie they’d been watching before? He thought that movie was only an hour.

“Is this the same movie?” He asked no one in particular, not really expecting any of the girls to respond.

But Aurora heard him, and she snorted, as if he’d asked the silliest question in the world. “The last movie was Fairytopia, this one is Mermaidia, daddy.”

“Ah,” he nodded, more confused than he was before. “Those are different, right?”

“It’s the sequel!” Aurora sang, beaming up at him. “There’s a third one too!” She paused, her brow wrinkling as she turned back to look up at the television. “Although I like the first one best.”

He nodded again, still lost. There were three? How could there possibly be three?

“When this one is over I think it’ll be time for bed,” he said, running a hand through his hair, exhaustion weighing down his body.

It wasn’t even that late, and yet he felt like he could sleep for years.

Although sleep wouldn’t bring any comfort without Rowan with him. The bed was so much colder and lonelier and harder somehow. He’d spent years sleeping without many comforts, but now he couldn’t imagine sleeping without the soft curves of her body pressed against him. Without the weight of her head against his chest and the extra blankets she always draped over the bed claiming she was cold.

He’d tossed and turned all night since she’d gone on her trip, and he didn’t think he could handle another night sleeping alone.

“NO!” Aurora shrieked, jumping to her feet. “The surprise isn’t done yet!”

“It’s late, sweet potato,” he said. “It’s almost bedtime already.”

She shook her head furiously. “Daddy, no! You have to let us finish our surprise!”

He arched a brow, feeling himself caving already. “Do you think you can finish it in the next hour?”

“Yes! Absolutely!”

Gavin fell back against the couch, Wisteria slumping over and falling against his side. “Alright. Then you can work on it for another hour.”

“Thank you daddy!” She cried, hopping onto his lap and kissing his cheek.

He smiled, hugging her tight for a moment, her excitement infectious. “But afterwards you have to get ready for bed. Promise?”

“I prommy!” She sang, jumping back down. “Cordelia! Gardenia!”

The twins snapped to attention, their eyes widening.

“Let’s go! We have to finish our surprise!”

They crawled to their feet, sprinting towards the kitchen while Aurora frowned at Wisteria.

“She’s gonna be mad when I wake her,” she grumbled, taking a tentative step towards her sister.

“You could let her sleep.”

Aurora’s brow furrowed, as if she were considering what he’d said. But then she just shrugged, ripping the blanket off of her sister.

Wisteria gasped, her eyes flying open. “Fuck!”

“Wisteria Faye,” Gavin chastised. “You do not say that.”

She blinked up at him innocently, as if she hadn’t done a single thing wrong.

“We’ve told you before not to say that,” he said, trying to keep his voice even as she continued to blink, her eyes blank.

There was only one person Wisteria would have learned that from.

Gavin was going to kill his brother the next time he saw them.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, her voice uncharacteristically small.

Gavin narrowed his eyes, pretty sure she was feigning ignorance.

But then he sighed, running a hand over his face. “Go finish your craft with your sisters. It’s almost bedtime.”

“I’m not tired!”

“There’s drool on your chin,” Aurora said, tipping her head to the side. “You slept through the end of Fairytopia.”

“I did not!”

Aurora just shrugged, turning towards the kitchen.

Wisteria scoffed, staring up at Gavin in disbelief. “I’m not sleepy!”

He just hummed, pressing his mouth together in a thin line.

Wisteria ran off in a huff, her little fists clenched as she chased after her sister. Gavin could hear shouting coming from the kitchen, followed by squealing laughter and claps.

He chuckled, crossing his arms as he turned his attention up to the television.

He pursed his lips, Barbie looking deeply upset as she turned into a mermaid.

He… He didn’t have to keep watching Barbie if the girls were doing their crafts.

It was only after Stella climbed up onto the couch that he finally leaned forward to grab the remote, switching off Barbie to Star Wars, wincing as the opening theme thundered through the room.

“Why did we have the music up so loud,” he mumbled, turning it down low enough that he didn’t have to worry about hearing damage.

Although it was probably too late for that.

He didn’t even make it past the opening scroll before one of the girls walked into the living room, asking for help gluing ribbons to a heart-shaped piece of construction paper.

And then another one asking him to cut something out for them.

And another asking for help with some stickers.

Yet somehow, despite how many times they asked him for help, he could not fathom what they were making.

He had his suspicions, of course. He’d worked on the force for years now, helping to solve ordinary cases and evol cases alike. He wouldn’t be a particularly good officer if he didn’t have at least some theories on what the girls were making.

But somehow, other than mere inklings, he had no clue what they were up to.

They were making more of their Valentines mailboxes, he was almost certain. But why? For who? Was it for their tea parties? Was it for something else?

Was it for Rowan maybe? But why would they be hiding it from him?

Maybe they were piling their favourite cookies into the boxes and hiding them in their rooms.

Although Aurora was the only one that had tried that, and she’d given it up after Stella had found her stashes twice.

“Daddy?”

Gavin blinked, drawn back to the present by a tiny hand pulling on his shirt.

“What is it, baked potato?”

Wisteria held up a handful of pipe cleaners. “Can you turn these into shapes, please?”

He nodded, taking them one at a time and bending them into the little shapes and animals she requested until there was a pile of miniature, fuzzy creatures scattered on the couch next to him.

“Thank you!” She sang, scooping them all up and cradling them in her palms. “You’re the best at crafts!”

He ruffled her hair, his chest feeling warm and radiant as the sun. “I’m glad I could help.”

“Next time we have a surprise, you should be part of it,” she grumbled. “‘Rora’s idea was good, but I wants you to help.”

“You know I could help,” he said, feeling a little bad for prodding at their super secret craft, but still desperately wanting to know what they were up to. “If you told me what you were doing.”

Wisteria wrinkled her nose, seeming to consider his words. Then she burst into laughter, shaking her head so hard her hair whipped past her face. “No!”

She laughed louder, covering her face, her shoulders shaking. “‘Rora told me you’d try that!”

He snorted. “It was worth a try.”

“I’m not a snitch!” She sang, spinning around. “Not a snitch!”

He watched as she skipped away, singing “not a snitch” over and over to herself, until she vanished from view.

Now he was even more curious.

And when had the girls gotten so smart?

Gavin narrowed his eyes, leaning back against the cushions, raising his arm so Stella could nestle her head in his lap.

Hadn’t they been smaller yesterday? Hadn’t Wisteria still been stumbling over saying mama? Hadn’t Aurora still been speaking with that sweet little lisp?

He blinked. No, they were much bigger now. The twins were walking and speaking in complete sentences. Aurora could count to one hundred, as she’d been very quick to remind him, and knew to warn her sisters against spilling the beans. Knew Gavin would try to figure it out.

And Wisteria…

Wisteria was already trying to plot pranks on him at the drop of a hat. And she was the one that often sent him and Rowan on a wild goose chase while they searched all over the house for whatever new hiding place she’d discovered that day.

She was too smart.

He closed his eyes, scratching between Stella’s ears. It didn’t seem fair that they’d gotten so big already. They used to be so small, he’d been able to hold them all in his arms at once.

Now he could maybe carry two in his arms easily enough, as long as they didn’t wiggle and make him lose his grip.

He opened his eyes, trying to force himself to focus on his movie and not on the strange ocean his thoughts were drowning in.

His girls were still little, it wasn’t like any of them were packing up and moving out tomorrow. And even if they were he would still love them. He would love them forever, with all of his heart. Whether they were little or all grown up.

Although he was pretty sure they wouldn’t want cuddles when they were older, and he would surely miss waking up to his girls trying to crawl between him and Rowan for early morning hugs.

Gavin let the girls work on their “surprise” a little longer than he’d said he would, his movie almost over before Aurora sauntered into the living room, grinning up at him quite smugly.

“We’re done!” She announced, raising her arms up. “We’re all done our surprise!”

He paused the movie, his brows rising as he leaned forward. “It’s all done?”

“All done!”

“It’s alright for me to go into the kitchen?”

“Yes! We’ve already hidden it!”

He chuckled, standing so he could walk over to her and scoop her up. “Perfect timing, sweet potato. I’d say it’s time for bed then.”

Aurora nodded, looking very solemn. “Gardenia almost fell asleep.”

“And Cordelia?”

“She ate a spoonful of sugar.”

Fuck.

He paused, clenching his jaw.

“Did I say that out loud?”

“What out loud?”

He heaved a sigh of relief. Okay, he was still in the clear. Which meant his brother absolutely would have to pay for swearing in front of the girls.

“Never mind,” he said, hefting her up higher. “Let’s go get your sisters.”

His tone held more confidence than he felt as he stepped into the kitchen, finding Gardenia curled up in a little ball on the floor, her hands cushioned under her cheek. Wisteria was nowhere to be found, which he should have anticipated, and Cordelia was currently trying to climb onto the counters using the drawers as stairs.

“Cordelia Sage!” He did his best not to shout, but he couldn’t stop the icy fear that shot through him like a spear, his mind racing as a million images flashed through his mind.

Cordelia didn’t have time to react before he’d scooped her up, clutching her to his chest.

“We don’t climb on that,” he said, her voice wavering as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We don’t climb on the counters.”

“Daddy?” Her voice was small, muffled against his shirt.

“You could get hurt,” he said, his heartbeat starting to slow, even as his stomach continued to churn. “You could have fallen.”

She whimpered, and he loosened his hold on her, letting her peel away to look up at him.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, trying to keep his voice soft, trying to keep it gentle and even. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her.

She had probably just started to feel hyper from the sugar, and no one had ever expressly told her not to try using the drawers to climb onto the counter.

Mostly because she’d never done it before. None of them had.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice,” he said, kissing her brow. “You scared me. You could have gotten hurt.”

She nodded, her amber eyes wide and bright. “I’m sorry.”

He nodded, breathing deeply. “It’s okay. You didn’t know, tater tot.”

She nestled her head back under his chin, her hands twisting into his shirt as she sniffled.

“Why don’t we get you all ready for bed,” he breathed, rubbing her back. “It looks like your sister is already asleep.”

He plucked Gardenia from the floor, cradling her in his other arm. “I think your bed will be much better than the floor, tater tot.”

She sighed, nuzzling closer.

Gavin started heading towards the stairs, but paused shooting Aurora a look before he left. “Find your sister.”

Aurora copied his expression, shrugging. “I don’t know where she is.”

“I think you do.”

She crossed her arms, huffing as she spun around. “I’m not a snitch.”

He chuckled, carrying the twins off to bed. Aurora was clearly not going to be much help at all. Which meant he’d have to find Wisteria on his own.

“She’s in the cupboard,” Cordelia whispered furtively. Her eyes snapped from side to side, as if she was revealing top secret information that would devastate the world if it got out.

He grinned, kissing the top of her head. “Thank you, Cordelia.”

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“Whaz a snitch?”

He snorted, kissing her head again. “Nothing you need to worry about. Something silly Aurora and Wisteria talk about.”

“They’re silly.”

“I agree,” he said. “Although you’re pretty silly too.”

She giggled as he bounced her in the air, waving her hands in the air. “You’re silly!”

He played with her for a while longer, Gardenia sleeping peacefully in his other arm even as Cordelia laughed. Her cheeks and ears turned bright red as she snorted between laughs, the sound so utterly infectious Gavin couldn’t help laughing too.

Rowan snorted when she laughed, too, and the sound made him happier than he’d thought it could.

Once Cordelia’s laughter finally petered out, it was surprisingly easy to get her ready for bed. He tossed her onto her bed while he woke Gardenia up long enough to get her pajamas on and get her tucked into bed. And when he turned around Cordelia had already tried getting her pajamas over her head, although she’d forgotten to take her shirt off beforehand.

He snorted, helping her to get changed. “Thank you for trying to help, tater tot.”

She beamed up at him, clutching her favourite plush dinosaur as he tucked her in. “I wubs you, daddy.”

He smoothed her hair back. “I wubs you, too.”

She giggled. “Have good dreams, daddy.”

“You too, love.”

His heart was warm as he descended the stairs, like perhaps his heart was made of sunshine.

He reached the kitchen and found Aurora bouncing on her toes, her hands behind her back.

“Find your sister yet?”

She shook her head.

“Alright,” he drawled, making his way to the only cupboard big enough for Wisteria to fit into. “So you’re telling me you don’t think she’s in-”

“- Here!” He threw the cupboard door open to find a half-asleep Wisteria blinking at the sudden light pouring into her hiding place.

Wisteria looked awfully confused as he pulled her out, heaving her over his shoulder. “Daddy, what are you doing?”

“It’s bedtime, baked potato.”

“I’m not sleepy,” she whined, yawning. “Not at all!”

He pressed his lips together in a vain attempt to stop himself from smiling. “Well you still have to go to bed, love.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“If you do, you’ll see mommy quicker.”

Both girls gasped at the same time. “Mommy?!”

He nodded, taking Aurora’s hand and leading them both upstairs. “Mommy will be home very very late, so you’ll see her in the morning.”

“I wanna see mommy,” Wisteria whimpered. “She wraps me like a burrito.”

“I can wrap you up like a burrito,” he offered, shouldering open their bedroom door.

“It’s not the same,” she whimpered. “Mommy has a burrito song.”

“A burrito song?”

“Yes! The Wisteria Burrito Special song.”

He snorted, setting her down into her little nest of stuffed animals and blankets so he could find her pajamas. “I’ll have to ask her about it when she comes home.”

“You must,” Wisteria sang, poking her head out of her nest. “It’s the best.”

“I think there’s better songs,” Aurora grumbled. “Like all the ones I make up!”

“‘Rora you make up a new song every day.”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

Gavin tossed a blanket over Aurora’s head, making her laugh. “No fighting! It’s bedtime!”

“Will you read us a story?” Aurora asked, shoving the blanket to the side.

“Of course. But only if you both get changed very quick now!”

They shrieked, running around the bedroom trying to collect the stories they wanted him to read while he pulled out their pajamas. And neither of them made a fuss as he helped them change and carted them off to the bathroom to brush their teeth and wash their faces.

And four books later he was able to shut the lights off and creep from their room, shutting the door behind him.

He snuck down the stairs, careful to avoid the spots that squeaked beneath his weight. They probably wouldn’t completely fall asleep for another 20 minutes, but he didn’t want to make too much noise and give them an excuse to crawl from bed and search him out.

He’d probably shut his movie off and work on his paperwork before heading to bed. He needed to get at least a little bit of work done before the day was done, and he didn’t think he had the energy to stay up until the sky turned the soft grey that preceded the buttery gold light that stained the world as the sun rose.

He hadn’t stayed up so late in years. It had worried Rowan whenever he did, especially when he let slip that he usually just didn’t sleep until the following night if he stayed up so late. And after the girls were born he hadn’t ever had the energy to stay up until the crack of dawn if he didn’t have to. He’d gotten sleep where he could, sometimes passing out at his desk at work if he had a spare moment.

And now he just didn’t have the energy for it at all. There would be no staying up until the sun rose completing paperwork.

Although perhaps he could let himself stay up a little later tonight to finish his movie. If only so he could put off opening the door to his empty bedroom, could delay pulling back the covers and settling into a lonely bed.

Rowan would be back by the time he woke up, but tomorrow felt like an eternity away. He wanted her back now.

Running a hand over his face, he fell back against the couch, dragging a fluffy blanket over his lap before reaching for where he’d abandoned his work on the coffee table.

But all his plans to get work done scattered like sparkles thrown to the wind the moment he’d settled into his own makeshift nest of blankets. Because suddenly he just felt just so perfectly warm, and the blankets were awfully soft, and they smelled a little like Rowan, and his eyes were so heavy he could hardly keep them open.

Maybe if he just let his eyes close for a little he would be able to get his work done. Just for a moment, just to let himself rest.

But that moment turned into hours, his mind quickly drifting into unconsciousness, not even noticing the massive explosion in his movie, too deep in his own dreams to even register the crescendo of music that spilled from the speakers as the main characters cheered.

It wasn’t until the living room was bathed in shadows, the following movie nearly at its end, that he began to awaken.

His mind was slow, his thoughts sluggish. He tried to breathe, but felt something heavy pressing against his chest, restricting his air.

He forced his eyes open, finding Stella curled up on his chest, her nose pressed between her front paws as she slept.

“Hey,” he croaked, his voice heavy with sleep. “You need to get up so I can go to bed.”

The words had barely fallen from his lips when a click cut through the quiet shadows.

The lock.

The front door lock.

Stella sat up instantly, her tail wagging as she turned towards the door.

Was he dreaming?

But no, surely he wasn’t dreaming. This was too real. The sounds too sharp, too loud. They would be dull and muffled if he were dreaming.

At least he hoped, anyways.

He heard it open, heard the shuffling of feet, of suitcase wheels smacking against the floor as they were yanked over the threshold.

Stella jumped to the floor, making sure she stepped right on Gavin’s stomach as she did. Her outline melted into the shadows, the sound of her nails on the floor echoing as she went to investigate what was happening.

And then the loudest, most excited barks sounded from down the hall, followed by shrieking laughter as Stella welcomed her mom back home.

“Stella!” He heard her squeal. “I missed you!”

Gavin was on his feet in an instant, still not entirely sure this wasn’t a dream. Because the living room was gone in a minute, his feet carrying him through the shadows until he was standing in the entrance, standing before his wife, who had toppled to the ground, no doubt after Stella had thrown her entire body against her.

Rowan laughed, trying and failing to push Stella away as she licked her face, whining.

“I missed you too! I did, I did!” She laughed, snorting when she was almost shoved back again. “But you have to let me get my shoes off! I need to find your daddy!”

Stella did not seem like she had any plans to let Rowan stand up, her tail wagging so quickly it was little more than a brown blur in the air.

So Gavin leaned down, grasping Stella’s collar and giving her a gentle yank.

“Give your mom some space,” he said, his stomach flipping like he was in the midst of a freefall, his heart stumbling like he was just a boy again with a crush. “She’s probably very tired.”

Rowan opened her eyes as she was finally given a bit of space to breathe, her gaze sliding up until it met Gavin’s.

And then her smile widened and the little dimple on her cheek appeared and her cheeks stained the pink of a rosy dawn. And then she stood and threw her arms around his neck, stumbling as Stella knocked into her wrestling free from Gavin’s grip.

“I missed you,” she cried, burying her face against his shoulder, breathing deeply. “Oh Gavin, I missed you.”

He wrapped his arms around her before he could think, drawing her close, holding her so tight he should have been worried that she would break. But he needed her close. Needed her pressed against him, needing to feel her heartbeat against his chest. Needed to bury his face in her hair and breathe in the smell of her shampoo, feel the warmth of her body as it fit against his.

He was starving for her presence, desperate for the slightest touch. And now she was here, now she was in his arms, and he couldn’t bear to let her go, to let there be even a whisper of space between them.

He needed her.

His eyes burned and he squeezed them shut, pressing his face against the top of her head, his voice muffled as he spoke. “I missed you, too.”

They stood there for what could have been years, watery moonlight staining the curtains, casting pallid shapes against the walls in the hallway. She smelled so good, she felt so good against him. Soft and warm and home where she was safe.

He didn’t want to let her go.

“Gavin,” she murmured, her arms growing loose. “I have to unpack my things and shower.”

He whined, holding her tighter, his body curled forward as he buried his face against her neck.

“Babey,” she breathed, rubbing his back. “I smell, I really need to shower.”

“-don’t wanna let go yet,” he grumbled.

“Babey-”

“No.”

He knew he sounded like a whiny toddler on the verge of a tantrum, but he didn’t want to let go. How was he supposed to let go of her? What if she vanished into the shadows? What if he woke up and realized this was a dream?

No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let go.

So he didn’t.

He leaned down instead, Rowan gasping as he scooped her up, cradling her against his chest.

“Gavin, what are you doing?” She hissed, the corners of her lips tilting up, betraying her. She was trying so hard to look serious, but he could see the way her eyes crinkled, the way she was struggling to hold her smile back.

“I’m not letting you go,” he said, his voice gruff.

“I can see that,” she teased, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. “But I still need to unpack and shower.”

He shook his head as he made his way up the stairs. “I’ll help you. As long as I don’t have to let you go.”

“My soap is in my bag.”

“You can use mine.”

She narrowed her eyes, tugging on his ear. “I’m not using your 2-in-1 shampoo.”

Gavin heaved a long, deep sigh before turning around and heading back to the front door to grab her bag.

“That’s an awfully dramatic sigh,” she said, running a hand through his hair.

“I learned it from Wisteria,” he said, struggling to balance both the suitcase and Rowan in his arms.

But there was no way he was letting her go. He was not putting her down.

“She’s quite the little drama queen.”

He snorted, pressing a kiss to the top of Rowan’s head. “You should have heard her today.”

“What did she do?”

“What didn’t she do is a better question.”

Rowan giggled, covering her mouth as they moved past the girls’ bedrooms.

“I’ve missed them all so much,” she whispered, leaning against his shoulder. “Waking up was so lonely.”

He chuckled, shouldering open their bedroom door before finally setting down the suitcase. “You miss getting kicked first thing in the morning?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well no, but I miss hearing them when I first wake up. I miss holding them as they wiggle around and hearing them tell me about their dreams.”

“Well I can promise they will be full of wiggles tomorrow,” he said, setting her down for a moment. “They could hardly sleep, they were excited.”

She arched a brow. “You let me go.”

He threaded his fingers with hers, using one hand to unzip her suitcase, grinning. “Did not.”

Rowan snorted, taking the bag of soaps and toiletries he handed her. “It’s almost like you missed me.”

He straightened, tugging her towards him. “I’ve missed you so much, Rowan.”

He leaned down, his body curling over hers as his brow bumped against hers, their breath tangling together. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she breathed. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He smiled, leaning closer, his lips barely a whisper of a breath from hers. “So I’m not going to let go for a while, okay?”

She squeezed his hand, humming her agreement.

“Good,” he murmured, brushing a featherlight kiss against her lips. “I’m glad we agree.”

Gavin was true to his word, unable to stop himself from threading his fingers with hers, or wrapping his arm around her waist, or pressing his fingers against her shoulders, or brushing his hand down her beck.

He had to be close, he had to hold her.

The shower Rowan had insisted on ended up taking much longer than they usually did, although Gavin didn’t really mind. It was difficult for her to wash her hair or her body when Gavin was holding her hand, or clutching her against his chest as soap suds streaked down her legs.

But eventually, despite Gavin’s interference, they both were able to get cleaned up, and then he was wrapping her in the biggest, fluffiest towel they ended and carrying her back to their room, water trailing in their wake.

“You know I do know how to use my legs.”

“I want to carry you,” he murmured, settling her onto the bed before turning to search through their dresser for her pajamas.

The rosy pink ones, with the soft shorts and the loose, flowy top with the bee embroidered on the sleeves. They were her favourites, and he remembered folding them and putting them away the day before.

“You’re not carrying me right now.”

He peeked over his shoulder at her, arching a brow as she grinned. “Don’t tempt me.”

“I would never dream of it,” she said, kicking her legs out in front of her, clutching the ends of the towel to her chest, her smile just a little too sunny for how tired she’d claimed she was. “Not ever.”

Gavin pursed his lips, humming as he finally unearthed the pajamas and pulled them free from the drawer. “No, I’m sure you wouldn’t.”

“I mean,” she started, trailing off as Gavin smirked, placing the pajamas next to her. “I might a little.”

He settled his hands on either side of her on the bed, leaning forward until his nose bumped against hers, until he could feel her breath against his lips.

“Only a little?” He asked, letting his voice dip low, his eyes falling to her lips.

She swallowed, her eyes widening a little. Her lips trembled, and he watched how they opened and closed, like she was trying to find something to say and coming up with nothing.

He leaned closer, just enough to close that little bit of distance between them. She tilted her head up, whimpering quietly as he ran his tongue along the seam of her lips.

But then just as swiftly as he had kissed her, he pulled away, grinning at the crimson blush that had bloomed in her cheeks.

Her brow furrowed, her shoulders slumping as she stared up at him. “What was that?”

His heart fluttered like birds’ wings taking flight at the whine in her voice, his words clogging in his throat for a moment at the sight of her pout, of her flushed face, of the way she leaned towards him still. Like she was hoping he would still sweep her into a long, passionate embrace.

The thought had crossed his mind, but he also was trying to think at least a little reasonably. It was late, and she had been travelling all day, and she had just had a very busy few days with her friends.

What she needed was rest. To be tucked into the softest sheets and kissed gently and held while she slept until golden daylight set their room aglow.

But still he didn’t think there was anything wrong with teasing her a little.

He shrugged. “I thought I might tempt you.” He paused, trying not to smile as she gaped. “Just a little.”

She stuck her bottom lip out more now, furrowing her brow. “That’s not fair.”

He leaned back down, pressing a kiss to her brow. “I think it’s completely fair.”

His chest tightened as he stepped away, not wanting to be so far away. But he also knew there were a few things he needed to do for her right now before bed.

“Get dressed,” he said, keeping his voice soft. “I’ll go get you something small to eat.”

“You don’t need to,” she said, clutching the towel tighter. “You’ve been taking care of the girls all on your own. That’s not exactly easy.”

He shrugged. “They’re our girls, they’re worth it.”

She opened her mouth, like she was ready to argue more, but he cut her off. “And so are you.”

She wrinkled her nose. “It’s late, you should sleep.”

“I will,” he said, opening the bedroom door. “Once I get my wife a snack and something to drink.”

He didn’t give her time to argue as he walked out the door and back down the stairs. He was sure she was still staring at where he’d been standing a few moments ago, whatever argument she’d been about to spout still on the tip of her tongue.

He chuckled, popping open the tupperware container with the cupcakes the girls had insisted on baking the day before. The girls had even iced them themselves, and although they were a little messy, they were perfect. 

He picked one with pink icing and pink sprinkles, setting it on a little plate so he didn’t get the icing all over his hands as he carried it. The girls had truly done their best, but there was enough icing on each cupcake to frost an entire cake, and it spilled over the sides of the cupcakes at even the slightest movement.

He licked off a splotch of cherry blossom pink icing from the side of his hand as he pulled down Rowan’s favourite mug and searched out her favourite non-caffeinated tea. The one that she said tasted like chocolate and mint.

He had to search through a few different tins of teas, popping the lid open and smelling each one before he was pretty sure he’d stumbled upon the right one. And by then the kettle had boiled, and all he had to do was put the teabag in the mug and let it sit for a few moments while he collected the milk and sugar.

Once her small snack was prepared he headed back upstairs, wondering if she’d actually gotten changed or if she would still be sitting in her towel.

It didn’t matter. If she still wasn’t dressed he would just have to help her with that, too.

But when he shouldered open the door again Rowan had changed, and she was sitting up in bed, the blankets tucked around her.

Her eyes grew round, glittering when the light caught in them as she looked at what he had brought. “Babey, you really didn’t have to.”

He set the plate and the mug on the bedside table next to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I want to take care of you, pumpkin.”

She cast her eyes down, twisting the quilt between her fingers. “I just don’t want you to go out of your way. Even if it’s something small. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Gavin perched on the bed next to her, drawing her into his arms. “You’re not a burden, princess. I love you, and I want to take care of you. Okay?”

He pressed his forehead against hers, running his fingers through her hair. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she said, her voice small. “Nothing is wrong. I just feel bad for making you do so much. I feel bad for going away.”

He snorted, closing his eyes. “It’s hardly anything. And you still do so much more than I do. And you’re always alone with the girls when I go away on missions.”

She sighed, and he felt her hands at his waist now, worrying the fabric of his shirt. “But I still feel bad. Your job is serious and hard and it was selfish of me to go away.”

He cracked his eyes open enough to find her gaze before poking her in the side. “It’s not selfish to do something for yourself, pumpkin.”

“But-”

He sighed, gently covering her mouth to stifle the argument. “You’re more than just their mother, Rowan. You’re allowed to do things for yourself. It’s not selfish.”

She furrowed her brow, and he was pretty sure she tried to lick his hand to get him to pull it away, but by this point he was immune to any tricks like that. Wisteria had stuck her damp finger in his ear too many times and the twins had tried licking his hands too many times while he’d played with them to recoil from it anymore.

“I’m their parent, too,” he continued, smirking as she tried gently biting his thumb this time.

That would also not work. Their girls’ teeth were much sharper than Rowan’s.

“And I am more than capable of taking care of them on my own. Of course I’ve missed you, but I’ve missed you because I love you.”

Her shoulders slumped forward and she nodded.

“And work has been nothing but paperwork for the last week,” he said, exhaustion creeping through him as he remembered the stack of paperwork that was very much not done still sitting on the coffee table downstairs. “It’s not like I’ve been overwhelmed lately.”

Rowan sighed, casting her eyes down.

“I’m going to take my hand away now,” he said, keeping his voice soft. “You’re not going to argue with me, right?”

She shook her head, her bangs falling over her eyes.

He would have to schedule a hair appointment for her in the morning. Make sure it included all the things she liked best about those appointments.

“Okay, good,” he let his hand fall from her face before wiping it against the quilt. “I love you, princess. You don’t need to feel bad. You’re not selfish. And I should be doing more for you anyways.”

“You already do so much though,” she said, her eyes widening. “You’ve turned down a lot of missions to stay home.”

“I still go away for weeks sometimes,” he said, cupping her cheek. “And that isn’t fair. I’m still working on switching some things up. But it’s because I want to, I want to be home for my family. I want to take care of my girls.”

She nodded, but her expression remained melancholy.

“Hey,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her nose. “Don’t frown. I love your smile so much, and I’ve missed it.”

She closed her eyes, leaning against him. “I feel tired. And I missed you and the girls.”

“We missed you too,” he breathed, rubbing her back. “If you’re tired why don’t you have your snack and then we’ll go to bed, alright?”

She made a grumbling noise he decided meant her assent, and reached over to scoop up the plate and settle it in her lap.

“Why don’t you try the cupcake,” he offered, rubbing her back even as she peeled away to look down at her lap. “The girls insisted on making cupcakes yesterday. They even frosted them all.”

A small smile played at the corners of her lips. “Did Aurora frost this one?”

He nodded, brushing her hair back from her face. “She did.”

“It looks like her work. She always makes everything so pink.”

He chuckled. “Reminds me of her mother.”

“It’s a wonderful colour,” she said primly, lifting the cupcake up to take a bite. “It’s very pretty, and lots of pretty things are pink.”

He hummed, stroking her cheek absently. “Like your cheeks when you blush. Or your lips. Or…” He trailed off, grinning as he leaned closer, his hand falling to her thigh. “A very different part of you.”

“Gavin,” she scolded, her cheeks turning pink as a sunset sky. “I was going to say like flowers, or the sky at dawn.”

He chuckled, brushing a kiss against the corner of her very pink lips. “I like mine better.”

“I’m going to smack you,” she grumbled.

“After being gone? You would hit your -”

He didn’t get a chance to finish as she smacked his arm. He coughed, covering his face to hide his smile as she looked at him triumphantly. “I would.”

He kissed her cheek again, his arms wrapping around her waist. “I’m sorry for teasing you.”

“No you’re not.”

“I am a little sorry,” he said, burying his face against her shoulder. “But not that much.”

“I didn’t think so.”

He chuckled, clutching her close and chatting absently as she ate and sipped her tea. Did she have fun? What did she do? Did she bring back any souvenirs? Did she eat any good foods?

Did she miss him?

“How do you feel now?” He murmured, gently prying the mug from her hands when she was finally done, her eyes drooping even as she struggled to keep them open.

“A little better,” she said, trying and failing to stifle a yawn. “I feel weird, though.”

He furrowed his brow as he helped her to lay back. “Weird how?”

She shrugged. “Kind of nauseous? And my body is aching really badly.”

“Did you catch something?” He asked, pressing the back of his hand to her brow. “Maybe it’s a bug?”

“Maybe,” she mused, holding her arms out to him, wiggling her fingers. “Although I think my period is a bit late, so it’s probably that.”

He hummed, taking note of her not-so-subtle hint that she wanted to be held as he drew her into his arms. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just bear with me when I start crying if I spill anything.”

He chuckled, kissing the top of her head as he tucked her beneath his chin. “I’ll make sure I’m ready with plenty of hugs and your favourite things.”

“I’ll just need you,” she murmured, yawning again. “Just you, babey.”

“You mean you won’t want to watch Barbie movies with the girls and eat desserts for dinner?”

“I mean,” she said, nestling closer. “Maybe that too.”

“I’ll let the girls know to pick out their favourites for a movie marathon.”

Her voice was smaller now, softer as she slipped towards unconsciousness. “I can’t wait.”

Gavin felt her breath even out as she fell asleep, her arms around him growing slack as her dreams took her. But he continued to hold her tight, fighting against his own drowsiness, not wanting to slip away yet.

He wanted to stay awake for a while longer, he wanted to hold her tight, to feel her warm and soft and safe against him. To feel her heartbeat against his chest, her breath curling against his neck. To hear the soft sounds she made in her sleep, the rustle of the blankets as she shifted, trying to curl into a ball.

But sleep eventually found him, as much as Gavin fought against it. He slipped away into the sea of unconsciousness, the feel of her body against his filling his mind with dreams of holding her close, of drawing her into his lap when she walked past. Of picking her up as they hiked through a hazy twilight forest. Of twirling her in the air, her feet skidding across the rosy surface of the ocean as they stood in the foamy surf. Of tucking her close as she shivered during the climax of a horror movie they’d been watching with faceless friends.

He dreamed of her, dreamed of her arms around him, of her body against his. Pieces of memories shared with her flitting through his mind like scraps of confetti, weaving through the murky, surreal landscape of his sleeping mind.

It was only when something pale and buttery and golden cut through the unending dusk that seemed to blanket his dreams did he feel himself slowly drawn from their depths. The light grew brighter, and he felt his arms tightening, his dream self still clutching his dream Rowan, who was curled in his arms and holding him tight.

Then he felt his body moving against its will, felt pressure on his belly, his chest, felt a shiver race down his spine. He was reeled further from his dreams, his dream Rowan melting from his arms even as the feel of her body remained.

He shivered again, heard tiny, muffled voices calling out to him. But it was only when tiny fingers poked his face, when they tried peeling his eyes open did he finally fully awaken.

“Daddy!” Wisteria squealed, bouncing backwards as he blinked, rubbing the eye she had been poking at so mercilessly. “Good morning!”

He squinted, craning his neck to peer at the clock mounted on the wall next to the door.

It was six in the morning.

He pressed his lips into a thin line. He hadn’t exactly planned on getting up at six today, not when he’d wanted to sleep in and cuddle with his wife until much, much later. But he also supposed he wasn’t exactly in charge of what time everyone got up.

If the girls decided they were getting up at six he guessed they were getting up at six.

Aurora and the twins were both crawling next to Rowan, throwing themselves over her side and calling out to her, trying to wake her up. And from the way she was struggling not to laugh, he knew she was already wide awake.

“Daddy,” Wisteria whined, tugging at his arm. “You need to move.”

He arched a brow, lifting her up into the air as she squirmed. “What are you doing, baked potato?”

She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Getting you to move!”

“And why is that?”

“So I can cuddle with mommy!”

“I’m cuddling with mommy,” Aurora said, throwing her arms around Rowan’s neck. “Me!”

“But I want to!” Wisteria wailed, all while both the twins managed to worm their way between Gavin and Rowan.

Rowan giggled, cracking an eye open as Cordelia kneed her in the stomach. “I’ll cuddle all of you, I promise.”

“Did you miss us?!” Aurora asked, nearly headbutting Rowan in her attempt to give her a kiss. “Did you miss us so much?!”

“I missed you so much,” Rowan sang, rolling onto her back to draw the three wiggling girls against her chest. “I miss you all so so much.”

“Let me hug mommy!” Wisteria cried, still squirming fruitlessly in Gavin’s arms.

“Alright,” he laughed, setting her down so she could throw herself onto Rowan’s stomach.

Rowan winced, but still reached down to ruffle Wisteria’s hair. “I missed you, little baked potato.”

Wisteria sniffled, burying her face against Rowan’s shirt. “I missed you mommy.”

Gavin didn’t have time to ask if it was possible for him to squeeze in with the girls, still wanting to hold his Rowan close. Not when Aurora sat up and fell backwards, her eyes lightning up like stars.

“Mommy,” she sang, hopping to her feet and pointing to the floor at the foot of the bed. “We have a surprise for you and daddy!”

Rowan arched a brow, gently shoving the girls to the side as she sat up, peeking over the edge of the bed. “What is it, sweet potato?”

Gavin sat up too, peeling the covers back to stand so he could walk around the bed to see what they had placed there.

And there, sitting on the floor, were what used to be two tissue boxes, covered in pink tissue paper and stickers and glitter and pipe cleaner animals and construction paper shapes, stuffed with handmade cards from the girls.

He chuckled, holding them both up for Rowan to see.

“Happy Valentines day!” Aurora squealed, falling back against the pillows. “Happy Valentines to the best mommy and daddy in the world!”

Gavin wanted to scoop up each of the girls and cover their faces with kisses. His heart felt like it was filled with sunshine and glitter. Like he was made of starlight and happiness.

“For me?” Rowan asked, taking one of the boxes before grabbing the closest girl and pressing kisses to her cheeks.

“That tickles!” Cordelia squealed, laughing as Rowan kissed her.

“I’m just very happy,” Rowan sang, releasing Cordelia before Aurora fell into her arms next. “I’m so happy to be home.”

“You gotta open the cards now!” Wisteria whined, bouncing on the bed. “Right, ‘Rora?”

Aurora nodded, her expression solemn. “You have to open the cards! We made lots and lots of special ones just for you and daddy!”

“That I didn’t help with at all, right?” Gavin asked, his voice laced with sarcasm, remembering all the things he’d glued and cut out and all the pipe cleaner animals and shapes he had made at Wisteria’s request.

Rowan snorted, kissing the top of Aurora’s head. “I’m very sure.”

She looked back up at him, patting the bed next to her, her bottom lip sticking out in the teeniest pout. “Won’t you sit next to me, babey.”

He settled the second box on the bed before crossing his arms. “Am I even allowed to sit on the bed?”

Wisteria fell back onto Gavin’s pillow, shaking her head. “No! You had mommy all night!”

“Wisteria Faye!” Rowan cried, covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. “Let your daddy sit there. I’ve missed him.”

“But I missed you more,” Wisteria whined, flopping onto Rowan’s lap. She threw her arms up, waving her hands. “I missed you this much!”

Rowan’s brows shot up, and her smile softened. “That’s an awful lot.”

Wisteria nodded. “It is.”

“But if you missed me that much, don’t you think your daddy missed me that much too?” She asked, pushing Wisteria’s hair back from her face. “I’m his very best friend, you know.”

Wisteria’s eyes widened as she wiggled closer to Rowan. “You are?”

Rowan nodded, her eyes flicking up to find Gavin’s. He felt a little lightheaded, if he were being honest, like perhaps this might have still been a dream. The morning light was so golden, Rowan’s smile so beautiful, the sunshine in his heart so warm. So light, so brilliant. He felt like maybe his veins were filled with bubbling golden champagne.

His chest ached to hold her again, his fingers itched to cup her face, his body felt cold without her against him.

He felt a little like he was made of gossamer and light. Of a spring breeze and quiet laughter.

“I am,” Rowan said, lowering her voice until she spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. “He tells me all his secrets, you know. And travels with me, and goes to the arcade with me, and he takes me to the beach and all my favourite places.”

Wisteria hummed, glaring at Gavin for a very long moment. “Okay daddy, you can sit next to mommy.”

He chuckled, thankful for Wisteria’s approval. He pulled the blankets back and crawled back into bed, pressing a kiss to Rowan’s cheek.

“Thank you for your blessing, baked potato,” he said, ruffling Wisteria’s hair. “I still feel a little sleepy.”

“But it’s so late!” Aurora cried, hanging from Rowan’s neck.

“It’s not even seven, sweet potato,” Rowan murmured, patting Aurora’s cheek. “It’s very early, and me and daddy were up very late.”

“We’ll just have to have naps then!” Aurora sang, grinning broadly as she let go of Rowan and flopped onto her side. “We can get all the big blankies and cuddle on the couch.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Gavin said, holding his arms out as Gardenia crawled onto his lap.

“Daddy?” She murmured, her voice soft.

“What is it, little tater tot?” He asked, leaning close to her.

“Will you open the surprise?” She whispered, patting the closest box. “I made pretty art!”

He smiled, feeling warm and soft and insubstantial. Like he was made of clouds and sunshine.

“Of course,” he breathed, leaning forward to pluck the second box from where he had placed it before settling it in his lap. “Will you help me?”

She giggled, nodding as he plucked out the first card.

“Wait!” Aurora shrieked, shooting up and staring at Gavin with her eyes as wide as saucers.

He blinked. “What is it?”

“Mommy should go first!” She announced.

He chuckled, wrapping his arm around Rowan’s waist, bringing his lips to her ear. “Go ahead, pumpkin.”

“You know I would,” she said, heaving a small sigh. “But my hands are a little preoccupied with,” she tried lifting one arm, which was currently being held hostage by Wisteria clutching it. “This potato, and this potato!” She wiggled her other arm, which was currently wrapped around Cordelia, trying to stop her from knocking over the things on her nightstand.

“Cordelia Sage,” Gavin called, reaching over Rowan to scoop Cordelia up with one arm.

“Yes?” She chirped, sounding a little too innocent as he sandwiched her between Rowan and him.

“Stay there,” he instructed.

She wiggled into the blankets, pulling them up around her chin. “Okay!”

He narrowed his eyes, but didn’t say anything further. He doubted she had given up on whatever mischief was going through her mind, but he hoped at the very least she would wait until he was more awake to deal with it.

“Better?” He asked Rowan, catching her eye as she watched him, her eyes bright, her cheeks stained a peony pink.

“Better,” she said, reaching up to cup his face. “I missed you, Gavin. I missed you so much.”

Gavin opened his mouth to respond, to tell her how much he missed her too, but clearly their girls had other plans as three out of the four of them shouted “EW!”

“That’s gross,” Wisteria muttered, picking up Rowan’s box and waving it in the air. “Look at all the things we made you mommy!”

Snorting, Rowan took the box from Wisteria’s hands. “Okay, okay, I’m going to look at your valentines now.”

Gavin winced as Cordelia squealed in delight, as Wisteria giggled and laughed as Rowan tickled her belly while she unfolded her first valentine.

But even as his ears rang and he winced again as Gardenia elbowed him in the stomach and Wisteria kicked his thigh, he couldn’t help the flutter of happiness in his heart. He couldn’t help the joy that raced through him like glittering starlight.

It was something he had never imagined he would feel, a life he had so long ago never even dared to dream he would ever have.

But he’d met Rowan, and she was his best friend, and he loved her more than anything. He loved her more every day, with every sunrise he looked at her and his heart was full of every beautiful, sparkly, glittery piece of joy and love in the entire world.

And then, with her, he had let himself dream. Let himself dream of all the things he had wanted so desperately, but that he had tucked deep inside his heart, certain he would never live to see them.

And now he was sitting here with blankets tangled around him and four little girls practically screaming in delight every time their mother pulled out another valentine, cooing over how precious it was and how much she loved it.

He knew that this was better than any dream he had ever had. It was everything he had dared to hope for and it was more, it was better. It was loud and bright and warm and beautiful. And a little bit painful as he was kicked again by another set of tiny feet.

But he didn’t care. He would gladly let himself be kicked a million times over. He would let the girls climb all over him and yank on his hair and steal his food and shout in his ears.

Their brilliant, joyful faces were worth it. The sound of their happiness was worth it. Their hugs and their love was worth it.

He looked up from his failed attempt to find the culprit who had kicked him, finding Rowan watching him quietly. Her eyes crinkled at the corners, her lips curving up in a half-moon smile.

“I love you,” she said, holding his gaze for a moment longer before the girls stole her attention again, demanding she continue going through the box.

His heart ached, and he held her tighter, savouring the warmth of her body so close to his.

That was worth it. His Rowan was worth it.

She was more beautiful, more kind and funny and smart and gentle and perfect than anything he had ever dreamt. Than anything he ever would dream.

But even if this was a dream, he prayed he would never wake up.

Because all he wanted was this. All he wanted were the people around him and the warm morning sunshine and the messy sheets and the valentines scattered everywhere and their love and their squeals of joy.

All he wanted was them.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #gavin bai #mlqc gavin bai #bai qi #mlqc bai qi #gavin x oc #gavin x reader #dad gav #star kissed winds #baby bais

[yourssinfullyquiche]

In the weariness one feels...(D, no.28)

Hello, all you beautiful people🥰 This is soft drabble, very cute. Hope you enjoy~

Prompt 37: a kiss on the upper back

Gavin x F!reader

It was a long day at work. But the fatigue weighing my mind and body down seeps further away the more I relax in the bathtub. It’s filled with this organic coconut bath bomb that somehow reminds me of the sea. It calms me. Already I can feel my body getting lighter. 

“Thank you baby. I really needed this,” I say as I play with his fingers, clasping and unclasping his hand in mine

“You’re welcome,” says Gavin. I hear pride in his voice and I have to stifle a laugh. 

A sweetheart. He truly is. As soon as he saw me on the couch in my work clothes, he went to prepare everything. I make a point to never sit or sleep in clothes that I wear out, but I felt so heavy that I dropped onto the couch and immediately lay down. Finally, I was home. 

Home. Where I could sink into the gentle brushing of pillows against my cheek as I snuggle closer, where the floral scent of the fabric softener pervades my nose, where I could be in the arms of Gavin. 

And now I’m in his arms, I feel the weariness washing away. I’m giddy that I start splashing the water around. Somehow we make a game of guessing patterns drawn on our skin. My canvas is his hand while he draws on my back. 

This feels so childlike, I love it. While doing that we talk and talk about things. The longer we’re lounging in this sea smelling bath, the deeper and vulnerable our conversations become. Both Gavin and I are reluctant to leave this moment behind so we stay a little longer, sitting in silence, enjoying each other’s presence. 

He seals this beautiful moment with a few kisses pressed against my upper back. I’m drowsy when Gavin finally announces it’s time to get out before we both look like prunes. 

-

A/N: Thank you for reading❤️

💌Asks are open: spots to kiss

Delve into my world

© YOURSSINFULLYQUICHE2023 — no part of this writing shall be plagiarised, translated or reposted in any way. Likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

Taglist: @purple-cat-demon @rinharu-purple (if you want to join my taglist, please visit my blog and click the link available on my pinned post)

#mlqc gavin #mlqc smut #mlqc #mlqc gavin fanfic #mlqc gavin smut #mlqc gavin fanfiction #mlqc gavin headcanon #love and producer #mlqc x reader #mr. love queen's choice #mr love queen's choice #mr love queens choice #mlqc fanfic #mlqc fanfiction #mlqc fluff #mlqc bai qi #mlqc headcanon #mr love fanfic #mr love gavin #mr love #mr love bai qi #quiche writes

[beneathashadytree]

ASLEEP - GAVIN BAI X READER

Warnings : making out but nothing too heavy, mentions of underwear but it's not gender-specific, reader is gender-neutral as always!

Genre : just comforting fluff, some spice if you squint

Word count : 1.9K words

Synopsis : Gavin's been away for a month, and his fiancé/e misses him more than they thought they did---which, really, already was a lot.

Additional notes : I dedicate this to @cheri-translates who'd been awaiting my works so patiently, so I wanted to treat her for being an angel with a piece for her best boy!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

It wasn't uncommon for Gavin to be gone for weeks on end, maybe even months as the missions got prolonged. It was entirely out of his hands; he couldn't help the fact that threats from evolvers were become even more and more widespread and fatal. That was the harsh reality of it, and that reality kept prying us apart.

His job meant that he replied to their every beck and call, and at any time as well. It didn't matter if he was fast asleep at 3 AM mid-winter, or if he was halfway through a scalding hot shower after a work-out in the early-morning; if he was called in for duty, he was forced to drop everything instantly and tug on his STF uniform before tumbling out of the window.

So essentially, him being an Evol agent meant that a slightly-frustratingly-great number of our dates were interrupted with his cellphone ringing, and an apologetic look would be sent my way as a frown etched itself onto his face. No matter how many time's I'd tried to reassure him and tell him that it was alright, that I knew what I'd signed up for when I first got together with him, he'd still always feel guilt eating away at his insides for being busy so often.

And that had indeed happened just little over a month ago; our night out at the movies to see the new rom-com in cinemas (which Gavin most likely wasn't even an ounce interested in but went along with it since he doesn't ever complain, the poor sweet thing) had been cut short by a muffled phone call that had him rushing out of the hall and mouthing a quick, "I'm sorry," before I could hear the familiar flapping of his jacket as the wind picked up outside.

I wasn't in the least bit bitter about it, though I did often catch myself over the course of the following weeks hoping that things would've been a bit easier on us both---particularly him, since the reason we'd gone to the cinema in the first place was that I'd taken notice of the sheer exhaustion radiating off of him.

He'd done his best to placate me every now and then with the occasional call or text whenever he'd had any down-time, a reassuring 'I'm fine. I've been eating well. I miss you,' always spelled out for me. It's true; the words were somewhat relieving and did warm my insides, but I'd never be fully at peace without being able to see him with my very eyes and trace every inch of him with my hands. I think he knew that well enough, despite his insistence to ensure that I'd been briefed.

Snuggled underneath layers of comforters and content with the book I'd been reading with the nightlight, I wasn't about to get up any time soon. The serene atmosphere was a contrast to the scurrying that I'd done earlier to shower after work before making it in time to catch the episode of the show I'd been watching (I felt terrible watching it on my own without my fiancé, who'd certainly feel somewhat betrayed, but this loneliness wouldn't do).

Before I could sigh happily and sink further into the mattress, completely engrossed in the book, a light tap on my window roused me from my half-stupor, and suddenly I was far more alert than I'd been for the past god-knows-how-long.

Not being able to put down the book fast enough, I scrambled out of bed to find myself right in front of the glass that separated me and my wind-battered fiancé. Unable to hold back my excitement, I unlatched the window, allowing him to step in and shut it behind him.

"I'm ho---mph!"

Before he could say another word, I swooped in to kiss the lips I'd missed so much. Humming in delight after the initial surprise, his calloused hands wrapped around me and pulled me in tight, one gently massaging my scalp, while my own hands cupped his face gently, not completely oblivious to the fact that his now-slightly-tanned skin had multiple new scratches on it.

Eyes fluttering open once more as I pulled away, I peered closely at him, trying to intake him in my breathing, it seemed. Gavin's hair was completely windblown, and---sounding a little lovesick, might I add---I giggled as I took the liberty of flattening his bangs down and combing through the soft tresses. He looked worn down and significantly thinner than I'd last seen him, but aside from the few surface wounds that were already no more than scars, he didn't seem to require any medical attention, and that at least made me feel more at ease.

Even when he'd undoubtedly been through hell and back and probably felt more exhausted than he'd ever let on, those amber eyes still held the same youthful passion as they always did. He subconsciously nuzzled into my hands, his own pulling me impossibly close.

"Missed you," his voice held a lingering sweetness that was transfused into my body as his lips fell on my forehead in a tender kiss.

Barely holding back my excitement at finally having him in my arms after being separated for so long, I could practically feel stars forming in my eyes as I pushed him back gently onto the mattress, my breath hitching as I was reminded of how incredible he looked with mussed hair and flushed cheeks. Even the tips of his ears were tinged a furious red, and he grew more aware of how warm he was getting.

His arms limply fell from my waist, hands instead reaching up to cover his mouth bashfully at my sudden display of boldness---though at this point, he probably wasn't all too surprised, considering that it wasn't the first time I'd decided to take matters into my own hands and pinned him down underneath me.

"I missed you more, Gav, I can't believe you're finally here!" as much as I tried, I couldn't conceal my excitement, and it seemed to infect him as well because he smiled fondly and decided to pull me against his strong chest once more, earning a protest from me, "Wait, you're not hurt here, are you?"

I began to quickly scan his torso, earning a rumbling chuckle from underneath my wandering hands, "Nah, it wasn't too difficult this time, so I didn't get hurt---aside from the odd scrapes here and there," he paused, before a long finger nudged my chin upwards, his voice dropping a couple of octaves, "Hey, look at me."

Complying, I found myself trapped in an alluring gaze. That familiar intensity was something I could never escape, and I could very easily read every demand written in his eyes. The first order of the night was a firm albeit unspoken 'Kiss me,' and I couldn't possibly deny him of that.

Capturing his lips in mine once more, his palms splayed against the small of my back, gently kneading and massaging the warm skin there, the intimacy lingering in his touch earning a choked out moan from me, having not realized just how much I'd truly missed my lover's touch. Taking advantage of my half-open mouth, Gavin's teeth playfully tugged at my lower lip, a brief warning before his wet tongue soothed the slight burn, then swiftly slipping inside my mouth.

Without realizing it, I'd begun to shift and furrow my eyebrows as my skin began to burn, my hands rubbing the broad planes of his chest from ontop of his white t-shirt, coaxing a low groan from him as my fingers brushed deftly against him. His tongue entwined with mine, tasting every crevice of my mouth, and the feeling of being so incredibly molded into one another had me almost dizzy.

If I could map out his entire body with my touch, I could. While his kisses were sinful, his entire being was angelic and comforting in how sturdy it was. As our lips sucked and teeth clashed and tongues slurped in a rather wanton mess, my hands were too busy etching his beautiful face into my memory.

He pulled away to inhale sharply, a shuddering breath leaving him heaving and my mind clouded in a longing and lustful haze.

"Gimme a second, alright?" I whispered croakily, my voice already expressing how overwhelmed I was.

He nodded in tandem, his hand seemingly reluctantly letting go of its possessive hold on me, but his eyes still trained on me as I hopped off of him, stumbling a bit as I was still in a daze and causing him to laugh airily that very same laugh I'd missed hearing so much.

Padding over to the bathroom, I locked the door behind me and stood in front of the mirror, wincing at the sight.

"I love you Gavin, but what on earth were you thinking, making out with me when I'm in this state..." I mumbled under my breath, chortling as I tried to brush my hair or at least flatten out the unruly mess that it currently was.

Opting to spray a few spritzes of his favorite perfume on me, I giggled a bit to myself, a smirk coming onto my face as I pulled out the navy blue silk underwear I'd tucked into one of the cupboards (after I'd learnt the lesson sometime last year that Gavin had odd times of wanting some private time with me, and I'd had to surprise him with his favorite pair on me---much like I did now).

Unbuttoning my pyjama shirt and pants so I could slip into the smooth cloth, I took one final glance at the mirror, winking at my own reflection as I covered myself as teasingly as I could with my favorite robe. Finally satisfied with the vixen that looked back at me, I walked out of the bathroom with a slight spring in my step, eagerness causing me to nearly pounce back into our bedroom.

"Got a surprise for... you..." the words died in my throat, replaced with a chuckle.

There on the bed, still in his rumpled back-from-a-mission-but-too-lazy-to-properly-dress attire, lay Gavin with his eyelashes fluttering and nose twitching adorably, fast asleep and even snuggled deep into the comforter, humming a bit in his sleep---which was probably due to the fact that the sheets smelled like me, and my fiancé had admitted before that familiar scents always drove him into an easy slumber. A soft smile on my face at the sight that pooled warmth in my heart, I hung up the robe behind the door and trudged over to my side of the bed.

He didn't even twitch a muscle as the bed dipped with my weight, which was quite unlike him, considering the fact that the brunette was usually a terrifyingly light sleeper that awoke at the smallest pitter-patter of an ant. I shuffled around a bit, getting comfortable before my arms crept up from behind him, wrapping him into a tight embrace (he never seemed to complain about being the little spoon; in fact, if his shy gaze in the early mornings was anything to go by, he probably liked it more than he let on). Pressing my lips to his temple, I too closed my eyes, relishing in his presence that seemed to magically make everything right oh-so-effortlessly.

"Sweet dreams, handsome."

Taglist: @thispersoniscrazy

#imagine #oneshot #fluff #mlqc #gavin bai #gavin mlqc #mlqc gavin #bai qi #mr love queen's choice #mr love gavin #mr love gavin bai #mr love bai qi #otome #otome games #mlqc gavin bai #mlqc bai qi #gavin bai mlqc #love and producer #evol x love #gavin bai x reader #gavin bai oneshot #gavin bai imagine

[lesbianerxi]

MXTX NIGHTMARE BRACKET ROUND 2

[id in alt]

The tournament to find the worst possible mxtx pairing continues!! Round 1 was a success, we're one step closer to figuring out our goal. There was one tie, so I decided that both of them would continue into the next round. May the worst possible combination of characters win!

Round 2:

Left side

Nie Mingjue x Shen Jiu VS Yiling Laozu Wei Wuxian x Bai Wuxiang Jin Guangshan x Old Palace Master VS Madam Yu x Qi Rong

Right side

Shen Jiu x Jin Guangyao VS Qi Rong x Shen Jiu Feng Xin x Sha Hualing VS Wei Wuxian x Luo Binghe VS Jun Wu x Reader

#mxtx #mdzs #tgcf #svsss #nightmare bracket #mj talks #only a day late this time!!!! #in my defense. the photo editing software i use wasn't working yesterday #am i good at photo editing? no. am i doing it anyway for the sake of these terrible terrible pairings? yes. #i'll edit this post to include links once the polls are live #and i'll edit my pinned post to include round 2 & the links after that

[yvainegelinemarie]

The bois tell MC how proud they are of your hardwork and they see you giving your all!!

𝚨𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌: ✨ ALL my writing prompts are gender inclusive and promote love, kindness and fun for all! 

✨I know that each and every one of our boys would love and support each and everyone of you and I hope that my readings portray that comforting, accepting and loving nature through and through~ 

✨And with that I hope you Spookies enjoy~~

☪ 𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice

☪ 𝕽𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌:13+ No Warnings, Fluff, Encouraging, A Pick Me Up. 

☪ 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖙 : Quick Read, bullet points

𝚨𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝚴𝖔𝖙𝖊: I have been feeling kind of low and crummy these past few days trying really hard to put myself out there to chase after a dream of mine and I wasn’t expecting to be really hit hard with so many highs and lows and when it seems like you are stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your biggest fears at 90 to nothing there are a lot of times that you just need to crawl into someone's arms and to just let them tell you that you are good enough and that they see you working hard.

So for anyone else who has been trenching through this tough year and trying out new things that may scare you half to death, I want you to know that your favorite boy see’s you kicking ass and that he’s well, proud of you. 

Even if you have one particular boy as your go to I suggest checking them all out since each of them have different types of encouragement of different types of situations. Or at least read the one you feel like fits what you need to hear the most right now (and well, of course your fav.)

VICTOR | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 01

✨For those who are struggling with reaching their dreams✨

Hell knows when was the last time you have had a good night's sleep.

You couldn’t help but to be on your toes now glued to your computer screen in your darkened bedroom.

Completely unaware of the sun slowly creeping its way through the blinds.

This project was something you had only dreamed about producing years ago,

and in 3 days it was going to be launched to the public. You have done plenty of projects before but never something as passionate and as close to home as this one was.

This project was taking out a deeper side of you that you have never shown before and deep down you knew that it was time for you to express it. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t spend the last 4 months terrified of the outcome.

Your tired eyes reread the entry over and over again as each time you only feel your heart grow more and more anxious and your eyes fill up with tears. Can I really share this with the world? What if people think that this is all fake? Will I really be able to accept the criticism?

With your mind running on it’s own you missed your phone vibrating next to you. You had already received 3 miss calls from Victor in just the last 30 minutes.

It wasn’t until the ding of the voicemail that you snapped back to reality. 

Sliding your lock screen open and taking in a deep breath, ready for whatever lecture Victor was going to throw at you next.

In the Voicemail Victor’s voice opened with a deep sigh. “You better not be asleep, especially after you promised to have breakfast with me this morning. I’ll be arriving at your apartment in 20 minutes, you better be ready du-”

His words were cut off when you were startled by your phone ringing again, seeing victor’s name pop up on the caller ID. You quickly glanced down at the time on the voicemail that was sent 23 minutes ago?! Why did your phone just now decide to remind you?! You knew now from Victor’s call that it meant that he had arrived and you, racoon eyed, sleep deprived and still in your clothes from the day before felt a rush of tears swell up in your throat.

You were so focused on this project that you completely forgot about something that you were looking forward to so excitedly just a few months ago. 

You answered Victor’s call and brought the phone to your ear. “Dummy, don’t tell me that you just now woke up?” Victor said in his usual stern and playful tone. You choked on your tears before letting out a little hic. “I-I’m sorry…” You said brokenly as you heard the sound of shuffling, the click of Victor’s seat belt unbuckling and the slam of his car door followed by a soft beep indicating him locking it. “Why are you crying?” His voice instantly became concerned as he was quickly heading into your apartment complex. 

“I-I don’t want to talk about it...it’s silly.”

“Nothing is silly if it’s making you cry so early in the morning. When I get to your apartment, tell me what is bothering you.” He said bluntly, leaving you no room to make excuses like always. Even in times like this Victor was sure that he was going to effectively fix your problem. 

When he arrived at your apartment you slowly opened the door with your head hung down low as you looked just like you did moments before, sniffling softly. 

Victor gently put his hand on yours causing you to open the door quickly before embracing you in a hug as his soft, deep voice tickled your ear. “Dummy, don’t tell me you stayed up all night working?” He said as you hugged his suit jacket tightly, feeling his heartbeat against yours, his was a bit more fast paced. He must have been really worried, you thought before he let out a large sigh. “You always do this,” his soft voice continued. “Working all day and all night when your projects are close to the end. I know that you want to make sure that everything is right...but i've told you this before, there is no need to bear all of this on your own. Let me know when you are stressed.”

You squeezed his jacket lightly as you looked up at him, tears streaming down his face. “You don’t get it Victor. “Someday I want to be just as great as you. I want to be hardworking, successful, a-and I want to be proud of what I do. I want you to be proud of me too.” Your voice sunk as your hands slipped off his large back to rub your tired eyes.

Victor let out a deep sigh before lifting your face up to his.

“Dummy, you think I got to become this successful overnight? And just because I am good at handling my money doesn’t mean that I am good at everything. After all, I didn’t check up on you enough or tell you how great you really are.”

“What do you mean?” You questioned before getting cut off by a smooth and minty kiss as Victor’s lips warmed yours. He pulled away slowly as his silvered eyes observed yours intensely. “You are already great ____. And the only way for you to get better is to have confidence in yourself. As long as you are doing everything in your power to succeed, then you will. That and I am already very proud of you dummy, so you should be proud of you too.” 

Your eyes lit up widely as you were left at a loss for words. Victor was complimenting you! “I-” You didn’t have much time to speak before you were swept up into his arms and led over to your bed as your cheeks flushed red. “U-um Victor?” You said.

 “We're not doing that this early in the morning.” He said with a sigh before placing you on your bed lightly. “Get some rest.” He added pulling back the covers on your bed.

“But what about our breakfast date?” You stuttered out as you didn’t want to miss this opportunity. 

“We can go another time. And I’ll just cook you something here while you catch up on a bit of sleep.” He said with a soft smile.

“Ah...Okay...but…” You trailed off as his smile faded away.

“What?” He said with his arms crossed.

“Well, it’s just that I really wanted to eat at that restaurant...since you talked so highly of it last time. N-not that I don’t like your cooking I like it a lot it is just that-” 

Victor then let out a deep chuckle as your cheeks flustered up.

“Dummy, I know someone who cooks as bad as you isn’t criticizing my cooking. And we will eat at the restaurant next week, as a celebration for you completing your project.”

You blinked softly in shock before brushing your hair back. “Isn’t it a bit early to be making a promise like that?” You said softly. 

“Not at all. Because I know that you will finish it, AND I know that you will do well.” He said with a handsome smile as you felt your confidence slowly start to build back up.

Victor was right, you are great and you just need to have faith in yourself that things are going to work out for you in so many beautiful ways.

After all if it wasn’t for your assertiveness and strength you wouldn’t be where you are today. 

You pulled the covers close to you falling asleep almost instantly.

When 30 minutes had passed you were woken up to the song of birds greeting the sun and the lavish smell of a french styled breakfast.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes you join Victor in your small quiet kitchen surrounded by an array of foods that you are completely in awe of. You can’t believe that you had all the ingredients in your kitchen to make this?!

Crepes cooked to perfection with your topping of choice sat neatly on your plate with a summer colored mimosa delectly placed beside it. In the center of your small table was an arrangement of different types of bread, each piece carefully sliced next to small glass bowls of butter, honey, and two hand made jams. One sweet and strawberry while the other was citrusy and tangy. 

“You made all this?” You said to Victor as you slowly sat down. 

“Of course, I wanted to make a breakfast that suits you individually. It would have been grander. But given the time and limited space. This was all I could do. I hope you like it.” He added. 

“Yes...Yes I do! It is very lovely Victor…” You say calmly while your heart beats with excitement. 

“You truly are worth something this luxurious.” Victor’s calm and creamy voice says to you amongst your meal as you can’t help but to smile and nod softly in agreement, for he was absolutely right.

SHAW | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 02

✨For those who failed and need to pick themselves back up✨

This is it, you finally decided to try to go back to college. 

You figured that having some sort of title might help you gain some more rep when you go off to meetings with other executives andddd it wouldn’t hurt to learn a new skill or two that might help you with your growing career.

But who would have known that an entrance exam and thousand word essay would be so fucking hard to write?!

You already reread the prompt question a hundred times and were still facing the devil of writer's block. Staring at the blank page for hours and hours as your mind just kept wondering off to the chorus of the last song you heard. 

Normally back in high school you would have just stepped away and tried to start writing it tomorrow...or the day after...or maybe the night of (usually the night of) but now you really didn’t have any other time to write this paper unless it was right now!

Because you still had a job to do. There is absolutely no other time that you can squeeze in to write this paper unless you are writing it right the F now!! 

You ruffle up your hair in frustration and stomp your feet Come on stupid brain!!! Just give me something to fucking write!!! You curse at yourself only to find that it slumps you into a cycle of self depreciation.

Am I really so dumb that I can’t even easily pass a college eterance exam? Even Shaw makes straight A’s and he spends all of his time running from the cops in alley ways or playing hooky at the bar all night long. 

You lay your head down on the keyboard of your laptop as the letter h just types itself quickly across the pages where your essay should be. You let out a long sigh, laying there in silence as not a single thought floats by.

You soon sit back up, convincing yourself that if you start writing out nonsense then maybe something will come to mind. You then take a long stretch before tapping your hand down lightly on the keyboard. Then you hear the dreadful click of your mouse. 

Your eyes watch in doom as the essay page filled with the letter H soon disappears and a happy “Thank you for submitting your application to Loveland University.” pops up. 

Your heart then sinks to your ass. No way...no way!...NO WAY!! 

You quickly rise up from your chair as your breathing grows heavier and heavier. You feel your eyes foaming up with tears. Your one last opportunity is now completely screwed up all because your hand slipped?!?

Covering your mouth you begin to sob uncontrollably. Everything about today was going wrong and this was just the cherry on top. 

As you stood there crying Shaw had walked into the apartment with his skateboard and backpack in hand, sitting them down at the front entrance.

“Hey, Babe. I’m home.” His charming voice startles you. Oh great, you thought nowhere near ready to approach him about this. 

“Hey?” He says again as he makes his way through the apartment. “Where are you at?” 

Once he finds you sobbing in your office his expression turned forgien with concern.

Shaw is the WORST when it comes to comforting you but you knew that he tried his best to make you feel better. 

“Woah, woah...Babe...baby, why are we crying? What’s goin’ on?” He walks over to you, his arms open and ready to embrace you in a tight hug. 

The coolness of his leather jacket chills your heated face as you sob on his shoulder. He lets out a calming sigh as his hand rubs up and down your back, letting you get out all of your much needed cry. 

When you reach your composure enough to talk you explain to him between sniffles what had happened. Your self deprecation building up more and more before Shaw shakes his head no. 

“Hey now, stop talking shit about my girlfriend okay, only I can do that.” He said as you blink at him confused. 

“W-what?” You stumble on your word as Shaw leans over to wipe a tear off your eye. 

“Well I think that you’re really cool, and smart. And if someone like me can pass that entrance exam you can too ___.” He said.

“B-But I submitted my essay by accident already.” You lower your head defeated, ready to cry again as Shaw lets out a light chuckle before ruffling your hair.

“You know that we can call the administration and let them know what happened. They will see that it was an accident and let you submit it again. Mistakes happen babe but the longer you sit on them the longer it will take to get over them. The school doesn’t close until 8. So you have 4 hours to call them and get it fixed.” He said calmly as you nodded quietly.

Shaw was right, this was a mistake yes, and also a bit embarrassing. But it is human to make them, and everyone does. And when you make a mistake like this, dwelling on it is only holding you back from achieving your goals. 

You raised your head and clenched your fists confidently. “You’re right! For once.” You said to him.

“Hey!” Shaw laughs as he pushes you lightly causing you to giggle as well. You two playfully push one another back, poking at each other and slipping out silly names before Shaw’s arms wrap around your waist.

He kisses you lightly on the lips before smiling sweetly. “You got this, I know you do.” He said as you couldn’t help but to agree with him.

And sure enough the university understood your dilemma and sent you a new registration. 

GAVIN | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 03 

✨For those who struggle to let go of the past✨

You knew how this was going to play out. After all you have seen it time and time before.

And now you can’t help but to get a little discouraged at the disappointment that this was going to bring you. 

The past already proved it to be true after all. 

Countless failed outcomes have led you only to conclude one thing.

That this dream of yours was going to end up in complete and total failure.

But even if that was the only logical outcome you could think of you still couldn’t fight the feeling in your heart that was telling you that this WAS right. 

Yet, now here you were, stuck in limbo and unable to move forward. 

You sighed looking at your notes, you had always dreamed of one day that you would get to start your own business. Now not to read you wrong, you did love working as the CEO of your fathers company but it was seeing him build his business from the ground up that inspired you to one day do the same. 

You have spent as long as you can think back to. Brainstorming ideas, doodling logo designs and daydreaming about something that you could call your own.

And now here they come, those heart-wrenching thoughts from the past ready to quiz you and make you think, am I really good enough to have this dream? Do I deserve it? 

All those past experiences of people questioning your skills, telling you that you aren’t prepared enough and that you’d never be able to be the person you dreamed of just makes you want to curl up into a ball and give up. 

Even for a moment the thought of maybe they ARE right, floods in and you feel yourself wanting to cry, believing in it just for a moment as your ego tries to back up the negativity with ‘facts’ to prove it. 

You crawl your way back into bed heartbroken and honestly just wishing that all your thoughts, good and bad, would just fade away.

You pull the covers over your face as you begin to sniffle as your throat clumps up, ready for the tears to fall from your eyes.

And right on que they do. You bundle up closer and closer to yourself, sitting in silence with the haunting memories of the past.

You soon feel the bed sink down a bit before a warm hand runs it’s way up and down your side.

You choke on your tears more, knowing that it is Gavin and there was no hiding your tears from him now.

You felt the warmness of his body tower over you as his lips pecked the top of your head through the covers. 

“When you are ready to talk about it, I’m here okay.” He said to you quietly.

Gavin continued to rub your back in the silence of your room waiting patiently for you to collect yourself enough to talk to him. 

And after a good 30 minute cry session you slowly sat up before pulling Gavin into a warm embrace. Sniffling into his neck as he just gently pressed his lips to your shoulder. “You know ___, when you are hurting like this...I don’t want you to keep it from me okay? I’ll help you through this.” He spoke to you in a gentle voice. 

You slowly pulled from your hug as you wiped your eyes and began spilling out your heart to him. Telling him about everything. Every past encounter that has left you hurt and how you like to think that you have grown and gotten over the pain but it is moments like this that it just all comes back up again and you feel like you are right back to where you started. 

Gavin’s caramel eyes watched you quietly as he listened to you greatly, taking in your pain as if it was his own. You could tell that he truly understood and got you and that he really knew how badly it was hurting you.

And after a moment he spoke up. 

“The past can be painful sometimes, but it’s there to help us learn and grow. And you can’t ever know how something is really going to play out in the future either.” He said calmly. “All you really can do is take little steps now to lead you to the future you want. Don’t let it get the best of you okay? I know that you will do great. And I will be here to support you through it all.” 

He was right, all those times that people told you that you weren't enough, or looked at you like you were crazy. All those failed attempts and embarrassing moments, they were all there to teach you that you are great! And that you are very much worthy of your hopes and dreams!

Gavin leaned over to pick your notes up off of your nightstand as he studied them closely, a sweet smile on his lips. 

“I might not know much on how to start your own business, but just seeing this idea, I know that it is going to help so many people. You should go through with it.”

“B-but what if it fails?” You say with your head down.

“Well then we will just figure out the root of the problem, fix it, and move forward.” He said as you quickly looked up to see Gavin’s handsome smile as your eyes started to water again, but this time with happy tears.

Because now here you were, taking on your dreams, with someone who has always believed in you, and who has never once questioned just how amazing you truly are.

LUCIEN | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 04 

✨For those who rob themselves of fun✨

You were so excited to sit in at an exclusive lecture that you have been begging Lucien to take you to for months now. It was an introduction class to understanding Quantum Mechanics. A subject that racked your brain,but in a good way. 

And even though Lucien’s undergraduate degree was in biochemistry;he was still fairly knowledgeable and greatly enjoyed physics, and with that happily obliged to accompany you. 

You were filled with anticipation and the utmost excitement. Swaying your feet beneath your seat with anticipation as the instructure took his place at the podium. 

He was an older gentleman with a rustic and well uniformed style. His caramel colored suit complemented his toffee skin. His visible laugh lines and crow's feet along with his brightly colored red bow tie,symbolized a man who lived a full and prosperous life. And even now with no head of hair and whispers of grey singing through his beard expressed that same song of legacy and abundance through him. 

You were thoroughly impressed by the wise looking man whose hands were clasped behind his back patiently waiting for students to fill the seats before glancing at Lucien’s young and smooth features. Only to notice that he had been watching you the entire time, lips curled with his hand pressed closely against them. 

You panic for a moment waving your hands and covering your face. “S-stop looking so intensely at me.” You say as Lucien’s princely chuckle caused your heart to ache. 

“I can’t help it...You just look so excited. Like a silly little kid in a candy store.” he said before letting out a teasing sigh. “I am a bit upset that you never look this excited when you come to see my lectures.” He said crossing his arms and looking away from you with a sorrow filled expression.

“T-That’s not true! I love going to your lectures Lucien.” You said proudly. “It’s just that..well...sometimes it’s hard to understand...since you teach such an advanced class.” You say admitting defeat as you lower your head.

“I see…” Lucien said softly looking at you once more. “Then next time I’ll be sure to explain them to you in a way that you can enjoy and understand.” He said before lightly brushing your hair behind your ear. 

You glanced up for a moment to see Lucien’s gentle smile but before you could say anything the professor at the stand began his lesson. 

The first 30 minutes of the lesson went by in a breeze as the professor recapped on the basic understanding of quantum mechanics and the movement of an electron. These were all things that you have heard from Lucien before and even information you yourself have researched and understood. You happily listened, jotting down notes between cute doodles of bunnies and flowers as Lucien would occasionally add a cute butterfly or heart to your scribbles. 

“Hey.” You said in a soft whisper swatting his hand away playfully. “You of all people should know better. Don’t draw in class.” You teased him as Lucien couldn’t help but to laugh. 

“Your bunny looked lonely. I wanted them to have a friend.” He said in a soft voice, amongst the lecture it was almost too hard to hear, as you glanced over to see that Lucien had his notes displayed as well. 

You weren’t surprised to see how minimal and organized they were. His tablet was exposed with a series of information already written out as he was just adding to pre existing notes he had already written before the lecture started.

They were all neatly organized with his straight lined handwriting and not a single ounce of color or doodle was on them. Just a simple shade of light where certain words were ‘highlighted’ as important.

They look so professional. You thought as Lucien picked up his stylist and calmly added a bit of information to them. You watched him in awe for a moment, the way he was resting his hand on his chin,the engagement in his eyes and the way he quickly jotted down the information in tune with the professor's quick voice. It was clear that he had done this for a while and that he was good at his routined way of note taking. 

When you finally snapped out of your trance you noticed how quickly the professor was on a new topic from the last thing you had written down and glancing at your notes once more than the black board ahead of you. You realized that you were so far behind that the information you had written wasn’t even on the board anymore! 

For a moment you were ready to panic until you realized your position. You weren't in school anymore so taking notes wasn’t essential.

And with that you began to zone off again, letting your egotistical thoughts build up and up. The elder man before you had spent his whole life, in your opinion, becoming something great. He went off to college, got a degree, became an educator and he knew so much!! Even Lucien who just at the age of 26 became a well renowned neuroscientist! Yet here you were...the one who took over their fathers business. You started thinking about all the times an episode idea didn’t even make it past the first meeting with Victor and how you almost lost the entire funding of your show! You sunk down in your seat, spinning the ink of your pen over one of the cute bunnies...Was I ever good at anything? You wallowed to yourself unaware that Lucien’s soft glances were reading you like a book. 

He knew instantly that you were down. The way you were slouching, the unconscious pout on your lips, your eyes shining;trying to hold back tears, and the way your feet stopped patting with excitement from under the table. 

After the lecture was over and you and Lucien were walking hand in hand down the halls he spoke up. “Was the lecture too hard for you to follow? You suddenly looked sad?” He said as his eyes were stuck on you.

You groaned before slouching your head on Lucien’s shoulder, furrowing your brow. “Nothing ever gets past you huh?” You mumble as Lucien brushes back your hair, waiting for you to speak out your worries. 

You began your rant, talking about how amazing he is and the professor and how you enjoy learning about science and sitting in on all these cool lectures but you aren’t the expert and that you feel it is pointless to learn something that you are not good at. It then lead you to feeling that you are not the best at anything. Lucien listened to every ins and outs of your problems, holding your hand tightly in his. Once you finished with a long sigh he spoke up.

“You think that I’m the best neuroscientist in the world?” He said softly as you nod. “Of course, your 26 and you own your own research center, you travel the world, who wouldn’t think that you are-”

“But I’m not.” he said softly as the two fo you stopped walking. You glanced up at him as the same calm and sweet smile stayed on his face. “If not now someone better will come along and do greater than me but even then they won’t be the best...because someone will come along and become greater than they are. After all Science is built on advancement. When something is deemed as a fact that is helpful yes, but people are much more complex. Personally I think that if you choose to see life as becoming the best at something then you are viewing everyone and everything around you as competition. But your idea of greatness is not the same as someone else's, what you may see as failure and a fault someone else sees as empowering and inspiring, and that includes how people see you. I think that you are the best at what you do but that shouldn’t matter...since you know yourself better than anyone else. I think that you should be more proud of how much you've grown. Being the best only brings temporary happiness. While growth is ever changing and there's no limit to how it should happen and what needs to be done in order to grow.” Your face softened as Lucien spoke. You felt your thoughts lighten as a soft voice in your head kept telling you that he was right. I see Lucien as the greatest and most amazing person in the world but he doesn’t… he sees. “You.” his princely voice said softly. “If I had to choose who the greatest person in the world is to me...it’s you.” He added before kissing your forehead. 

You could feel the soft rise and fall of his chest as his warm lips laid gently on your skin. His rainy scent engulfing you while your hands slowly pulled him into an embrace. He hugged you back before brushing your hair lightly through his fingertips. 

Even in this moment with Lucien you have learned so much, you have grown...a sweet smile fluttered across your lips as your heart grew with pride. “I am so proud of me, and how much I have grown.” You whispered. 

KIRO | CH03 | 0 : 00 : 05 

✨For those who are feeling lonely amongst hard times.✨

You slouched at the front door of your apartment. Bags in your hands, coat slung between your arms, hair a mess and dark circles slowly morphing you into a racoon.

You kicked off your shoes to see your red and slightly swollen feet. An emergency had happened that caused you to stop and change every course of your life for the next month and a half. Having to make phone calls between friends, family, and companies ensuring the safety and calmness of everyone around you.

You had already spent hours reassuring worried hearts that you had forgotten to give yourself a moment to breathe and process everything. And now with this short time to finally be with yourself the stress, anxiety, worry and guilt flooded through you like a river as your eyes dropped like a waterfall. 

You had been trying so hard to remain optimistic for everyone else that your own feelings were casted aside and now here you were, alone and finally able to feel them. Only for the idea of being alone to make it worse. Sliding your way down and onto the floor beginning your crying session. Soon the buzzing of your phone scared you half to death. The handsome face of Kiro and his bright golden smile popped up on your screen. Oh great. You thought seeing the FaceTime message as you quickly dried your face and answered the call.

“OHHH My (Miss) Chip(s)!!~” Kiro’s voice sang. “Hey,” he pouted. “Why can’t I see your face? It’s so dark. And you’re sniffling...Don’t tell me you caught a cold again?” he said. 

“Ah-s-sorry. I’ll turn on the lights.” Your voice cracked as Kiro’s playful expression quickly turned to worry. You flicked on the lights and turned the screen to your face, rubbing your nose with your sleeve. Seeing yourself on the small screen of your phone, there was no way for you to deny that you were crying. Your eyes a puffy red mess (and makeup smeared down your cheeks). 

“Ah...I was um..” You try to explain as You watched Kiro already up and heading for his jacket. 

“Don’t worry ____. I’m on my way, you can tell me when I get there. Have you been crying for long?” he said as his cute voice now had a alert and serious tone.

“N-No...not too long. I just got home.” You say softly.

“Don’t hang up. I don’t want you to cry by yourself. Next time you are feeling sad, let me know.”

“Y-You don’t have to come over.” you say feeling like you were about to cry again.

“Don’t say that. Of course I do. It is a hero’s job to help those in need. Especially when it’s someone they love.” Kiro said as you bit your lip softly, you couldn’t deny him of this. 

When he finally arrived at your place you cleaned up a bit as you opened the door to an tight embrace. His hug was warm and inviting as your hand tightening on his back the moment Kiro pressed your head to his shoulder. You began to cry again. “It’s okay...I am here...you can cry now.” He said in a low voice. With that you spilled out your heart as kiro held you closely, his blonde hair tickling the edge of your ear.  

Once you had calmed down enough to talk the two of you sat beside one another on the loveseat in your living room.

You expressed all of your pain that you had been repressing about the situation and although you didn’t mind that people were using you for support, you never realized how tough it would be to take on everyone's pain and have no one to help you through yours. Kiro held your hand quietly, hearing out all your worries as the rings on his fingers were slowly starting to warm up by the embrace of yours. 

Once you had finished what you needed to say Kiro gently pressed your head to his chest, his arms holding you in a loving embrace. 

“Thank you...for sharing with me your worries. I know that it’s not easy having to take on other people's burdens but you aren’t alone...and I will always listen to you and I will always be here when things get tough. I want to be that someone you rely on to lift your spirits. You are the person that I want to make the happiest. Even when you feel like no one sees or hears you struggling, just remember that I do see you.” Kiro said in a soft voice as your eyes watered once again. You hugged him tightly, nodding your head as you felt like a large weight was just lifted off your shoulders. 

Kiro reminded you that you belong and that there is so much value in how hardworking and kind you are. 

And that this strength wasn’t something you need to burden through alone. 

✨Thank you for reading and I hope that this helped any of you guys going through a tough time who just needs a bit of encouragement. 

My DM’s are always open too and I’ll gladly hear anyone out. 🖤 

Sometimes all we need is just someone to vent to. 🖤

✨Check out more of my writings on my ✨master list✨

✨ If you like my blog and want to see more of me check out my other social’s, it would mean a lot to me~~ https://linktr.ee/Yvainegeline

#mlqc #mlqc mc #mlqc lucien #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #mlqc kiro #mlqc shaw #mlqc fanfic #mlqc fluff #uplifting #mrlovequeenschoice #mrlovequeenschoicegavin #mrlovequeenschoicevictor #mrlovequeenschoicelucien #mrlovequeenschoicekiro #mrlovequeenschoiceshaw #love and producer #mlqc xu mo #mlqc x reader #mlqc bai qi #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc ling xiao #mlqc zhou qiluo

[writing-fool]

mlqc | special kind of sadness

I’ve been having strange dreams lately. Maybe it’s because of the quarantine, or maybe because of my messed up sleep schedule. I don’t actually have severe nightmares, but somehow an idea for Victor + nightmares came up. It was going to be very short, so I included other types of comforting scenarios. Ahh...besides that, you might have noticed my url is writing-fool, right? It’s actually based off of a Korean song called Swimming Fool. But I think it fits with MLQC too, what with Lucien calling us ‘his little fool’ sometimes~ What a happy coincidence...

Love,

R.

Warning(s): TW! Lucien’s scenario includes a panic attack. 

Victor

You’re all about showing the world that you’re a grown woman with big girl pants on. You’re especially keen on proving to Victor that you can handle yourself, thank you very much. Even though he’s supposed to be your soft, loving boyfriend, he seems to grow stricter the longer you’re together.

“Really? You’re not capable of being a producer if you can’t even get these reports done.” Ouch. Your life doesn’t seem to be getting easier anytime soon.

So...you chalk it up as a grave, grave moment of weakness when you instinctively call his number at three in the morning, after waking up in a cold sweat. By the second ring, you regret your rash decision. What if he’s asleep? What if he thinks I’m some kind of weak child?

By the third, he answers.

“What. Why are you still awake?” His voice sounds as strict as ever. ‘Why are you still awake?’ is a question you would’ve asked if you were in a clearer mindset. Alas, this situation allows little clarity.

You decide against hanging up. I’m bothering him already, might as well apologise. “I-I must’ve misdialled. Sorry to bother you,” you mumble. You hate how your hoarse voice and ragged breaths betray the sobs that have barely subsided.

“...I’m coming over,” is all Victor says before abruptly hanging up.

It’s a twenty minute drive from his luxurious penthouse to your apartment, but you know he’ll make it in fifteen. Running to the bathroom, you try to fix your appearance to make you look more like a successful producer, and less like a woman gone mad. But while your hair can be combed down and your tears can be wiped away, nothing works against your bloodshot eyes, shaking hands and pale complexion.

The doorbell rings, and you’re in full panic mode. You really don’t want him to see you like this. But without him, you’re probably not sleeping tonight. Also, he’s here already. Wiping your sweaty palms on your pyjama pants one last time, you open the front door.

Even when he has his sleeves rolled up, shirt partly unbuttoned and hair mussed from running his hands through it, Victor is handsome. But today, you can’t bare to look at him. Your apartment floor suddenly seems incredibly interesting.

A small gesture encourages his entrance. The door is barely closed again, and he’s already got his arms wrapped around you, your face pressed against his chest. The warmth of his hug and his rapidly beating heart open the floodgates again, and while your boyfriend strokes your hair, you sob your fears out on his black dress shirt.

Later, when you’re both huddled in your queen-sized bed, he asks you why you didn’t tell him about the nightmare right away. “I thought you’d think I’m pathetic or something. You’re always so strict.” You look up at him, mouth formed into a small pout.

For a moment, he’s dumbfounded. Maybe he never considered the idea? Victor hesitates, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry,” he sighs, “I’ll be more considerate from now on.”

And as Victor rubs your shoulder, legs intertwined with yours, you doze off under the cloudy night sky. But not before hearing his sweet whispers. “Lean on me more, next time. I’ll always be by your side.”

Lucien (TW: panic attack, minor mentions of death)

Disclaimer: I know this could be taken wrongly. I have no intention to romanticise mental illness. It isn’t something that makes you broken, nor is it a ‘fun’ or ‘special’ thing. The story is partially taken from my experience, so I know how this feels. I wrote this as a way to bring awareness in a light manner, and to show that sometimes, panic attacks can be alleviated with someone around. I hope it brings comfort to those who wish they had someone in moments like these.

Listening to Lucien’s lectures tends to transport you back to the time when you were still a university student. Ah, it is a nostalgic feeling. A part of you misses being in school; going out with friends, listening to the teachers drone on about various subjects, eating in the school’s cafeteria.

But if there’s one thing you don’t miss, it’s the immeasurable amounts of stress. So why is that the thing I’m reliving right now?

As a young adult, you struggled with anxiety and spontaneous panic attacks, rendering you vulnerable to a work overload. You’d think it’d gotten better, especially since you have to deal with a lot of projects as a head producer nowadays. However, it seems as though old habits do die hard...This week has been particularly taxing—emotionally, what with your father’s death anniversary, and mentally; an important and popular show just got compromised by one of the actors’ companies. All that, and the prospect of an even tighter schedule during Christmas season has sent you into a full-blown panic attack. 

Your initial plan was to just...ride this one out. That’s what you always did as a child. In an hour or two, your hands will stop cramping, your tears will stop falling, your breathing will return to normal, right? But it seems fate, and Lucien, disagree. I forgot I gave him the key to my apartment.

Lucien senses something is wrong when you don’t come out to greet him by the door. 

“My love? Are you alright?” he yells out. Hearing little besides your irregular breathing, he kicks his shoes off, speeding towards the living area. You’re sat on the white sofa, knees to your chest, shoulders heaving and thick tears streaming down your face. 

Lucien’s brows furrow in deep concern as he kneels down by your form. Even though he’s right in front of you, your eyes do not meet his. You’ve gone too deep in your own shell to even be able to acknowledge his presence. A tentative hand removes one of yours from its tight grasp on your other arm, and Lucien lets out a sigh of relief as he feels your hand clutch his. He takes it as a sign to lift you fully into his arms, and takes a seat on the sofa.

“Breathe. In,” he mimicks a deep inhale, “and out.” Lucien blows out, repeating the motion a couple more times. He rubs your back and your hands, constantly alternating between helping you breathe and gently uttering soothing phrases. 

“Easy, I’m here with you. Do you feel my heartbeat?” When your hands have finally relaxed out of their cramped up form, he presses one of them against his chest. The slow, rhythmic thumping grounds you. Lucien. A stiff nod from you makes a soft, wry smile appear on his face. “Good girl. You’re getting there, my dear. Just stay with me, here. You’re doing great.”

You don’t know how much longer you stay like that. All you know is that he stays with you through the entire attack. Hours later, you two are having a steaming cup of tea at the dinner table. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t want you to worry,” you mutter sheepishly.

“Don’t be ashamed of yourself,” Lucien’s violet eyes bore deep into yours, “Besides, how could I not worry when someone so dear is having a hard time?”

You shrug, a defeated look on your face. Your fingers fidget with the wood of the dinner table, until Lucien swiftly takes your hand in his again. 

He sighs. “Take tomorrow off. I’ll take care of you.” Even though his tone is soft, Lucien leaves no space for argument. You know you should agree. There’s no way you could function properly if you were to go to work tomorrow.

“...Thank you.”

Lucien brings your hand to his lips, leaving feather-light kisses on your knuckles. “No thanks needed. You can be greedier with me.”

Gavin

There’s perhaps no person in the world who enjoys rejection. Sure, there may be those who bounce back quickly, those who see rejection as a new opportunity. But rejection, failure in itself, doesn’t evoke positive feelings. 

As the producer of Miracle Finder, you’ve gotten used to rejection; it was hard to get the show back on track during the first year or so. Maybe you were arrogant, thinking it’d get better, or less painful, the more often you got rejected. 

Things did get better, and last week you were even offered a deal with Loveland TV for a second weekly show. The company had seen the success Miracle Finder had, and had offered you the chance to come up with something wholly original. Something...you. That night, a mere week ago, you took the girls out for dinner and drinks. You were on cloud nine that day. In hindsight, maybe it was karma. Maybe I jinxed it. Cheered too soon, and all that. 

This morning, you got a devastating e-mail that stated, in polite (but somehow still rude) terms, that your new show would not be broadcasted. The relaxed mood at the office rapidly turned somber once you mentioned the unfortunate decision. Your employees decided to give you some space afterwards. Not being able to stand the sadness, and feeling somewhat bad for them, you sent everyone, yes, including Anna, home early.

By three p.m., you’re the only one left at the office. You sit at your desk, head in your hands. I know it isn’t the end of the world...but right now, it almost feels like it is. With a deep sigh, you push yourself up, heading to the small kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. Maybe you’ll have a biscuit too. Anything to cheer yourself up. 

Your mind automatically goes to Gavin, and without thinking it over too much, you dial his number. After a couple of rings, your call goes to voicemail. Stupid. He’s probably working. I’ll just leave a message.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I-uh, the thing I mentioned last week? The new show deal with Loveland TV? Yeah, that’s not happening,” your voice cracks halfway through the last sentence as you try to push down the disappointment that bleeds through, “I’m staying late today. Need some time to-to process things. I’ll be fine. Love you, hope you’re safe.” 

Time passes agonisingly slowly, so slowly you might as well think Victor’s behind it, while you dive into a mountain of work. It distracts you from today’s events. but the lingering sadness is still present in the back of your mind. 

Around eight, you start cleaning up your desk, shutting down your computer and gathering the papers. A knock on the window catches your attention as you’re about to head out. You turn around, noticing a tall figure on the balcony outside. Gavin! You hastily run back, opening the sliding door for Gavin to enter.

“Hi,” That’s the most awkward thing you could say. “I didn’t know you would come. Did you hear my message? You really didn’t have to...” you trail off when Gavin wordlessly opens his arms to you. His golden eyes look anywhere but you, and a slight blush is visible in the dark room, only illuminated by the bright lights outside. 

You gingerly step into his arms at first, clutching the back of his signature denim jacket tighter as time goes on. A couple of stray tears that you’re not able to hold back create wet splotches on his shirt. “I’m sorry,” you mumble, your voice muffled by the soft fabric.

“No biggie. Are you feeling alright?” he asks you. A non-committal shrug is all you respond with. “I know it was a big project for you.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what to do now.” 

Gavin bends down a little, kissing the crown of your head. “You move on, and you don’t give up.”

You fall into comfortable silence. Gavin’s thumb rubs up and down your waist, soothing you. “...Have you ever been rejected?” you suddenly ask him.

Gavin chuckles. “Sure I have. I got rejected by my very first love.”

You raise your head to look up at him. Gavin sees his own reflection in your large, teary eyes, and smiles. “And what happened then?” you ask, your voice lightly tinged with jealousy. Who was his first love?

“Well, she’s in my arms now, isn’t she?” Even though he’s embarrassed to say the words, Gavin forces himself to look at you. At those eyes that shine with love for the world, for him. 

Bonus:

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” you pull out of the embrace to get your coat by the coat hanger, opening the door to head out again, like a normal person.

“How? You didn’t come here by bike, did you?”

Gavin’s already facing the window again, but he turns back with a smirk, holding his hand out to you. “I never said we were going by bike.”

“Gavin, no, babe, no, no, nonononononono—Aah!!” Your protests are cut short as Gavin swoops you into his arms bridal style and flies off. The wind rushes past your ears, almost making you miss Gavin’s gleeful laugh. “Gavin! I didn’t lock the doors!”

Kiro

On many occasions, you’re envious of Kiro’s Evol. But even without his Evol, Kiro is so bubbly and kind, you can’t help but like him. You sincerely wish you had that ability. And I know I’m supposed to make my own wishes come true, but I can only do so much to make people like me. I’m not going to bend over backwards and become a pushover just to be liked.

Still, it hurts when people are purposely mean to you. Especially during high school reunions. You were by no means a popular kid growing up...but you didn’t think that some people would still be stuck in a high school mentality. You held your own during the reunion, ignoring the backhanded compliments and blatantly condescending insults in favour of catching up with your old friends. Yet, all you can think of on the drive home are the negative comments.

“Oh, you still can’t drink alcohol? Seems like ‘someone’ hasn’t grown up yet!”

“You’re the producer of Miracle Finder? I hate that show, it’s so unrealistic.”

“Isn’t that a kids’ show?”

“My, you look adorable! My daughter also likes to wear those types of clothes, you know, to go play at the park.”

I can’t believe I missed game night with Kiro for this. With a terrible mood, you shuffle into the house. Kiro’s on the sofa playing A Chinese Ghost Story, a bag of chips on the coffee table in front of him. He turns to greet you with a smile, but it quickly falls after seeing your somber expression. 

“Welcome home Miss Ch—eh? What’s wrong?” Kiro takes his headphones off to stand up in front of you. His hands instinctively move to your waist to pull you close.

“How was the gathering?” he asks carefully. His eyes are big, just like a puppy’s. Had you felt better, you would’ve commented on his cute appearance. 

It’s as if that question flips a switch. “It was horrible!” you sniffle.

“Wha—Miss Chips!” Kiro grows panicked at your sniffles and sobs, and roughly pulls you to his chest. You retaliate by hugging him tightly, crying all your frustrations out on his shoulder.

Somehow, you move into a cuddling position on the living room sofa. You straddle his slender legs and his arms are wrapped around your torso, rubbing comforting circles on your back. Pulling away from his embrace, you start ranting about the terrible evening.

“...and I don’t even know why I’m this upset! It’s so frustrating. I’ve worked so hard to become who I am today, and the moment someone says something to me, I just break down. Maybe I am a child,” you look up at Kiro, eyes wide and brimming with tears, “Kiro, am I a child to you?”

Kiro chuckles. “Well, Miss Chips...sometimes you can be childish,” you jut your lip out in a pout, “b-but I’m childish too! And there’s nothing wrong with that. Some people want to grow up too fast, so they drink alcohol and dress up in dark colours and stiff fabrics to feel properly imprisoned in the ‘harsh adult world’. But most of us could be happier if we just...let our inner child out.”

He cups your cheek. “Never be ashamed of being childish, Miss Chips. It doesn’t make you a child,” a mischievous grin appears on Kiro’s youthful face, “Besides, I wouldn’t do this if I thought of you as a child!” 

With the hand on your cheek, Kiro draws your face closer to his. Your lips meet in a swift kiss that takes you by surprise. He swallows the startled gasp that escapes your mouth, retaliating by slowly swiping his tongue across your bottom lip. You can feel him smile into the kiss as you lean into it, closing your eyes. Your tears are long forgotten as you tangle your hands in Kiro’s blond locks. Slowly, you part your lips, allowing Kiro’s tongue to slip into your mouth. The teasing flicks of his tongue make you go weak, and he chuckles when your grip on his hair loosens. 

Kiro notices you’re growing light-headed, so he gives you time to regain your breath while he peppers little kisses on the corners of your mouth and on your swollen lips. You kissing demon. 

His satisfied hum is disrupted by a vicious punch to the chest. “Ah! Miss Chips, why would you hit me?” It’s Kiro’s time to pout now.

“Who told you to do that?! You’re so sly, it’s unfair!” you scold him, cheeks flushed a bright red.

“Yes, yes,” he pets your head, “but it helped, right? You’re not upset anymore, right?”

Your face scrunches up. “I guess not...I’m still mad at you for surprising me like that,” Kiro giggles, “But thanks.” His smile is contagious, and soon you’re both in a giggling fit.

When the giggles have subsided, Kiro pushes you back into his chest. As he snuggles into your shoulder, he whispers in your ear. “Don’t worry. Every time you feel sad, I’ll be there to cheer you up.”

I’m not saying dark clothes are bad! I have a black wardrobe myself...but we all need to remember that we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves sometimes. 

For some reason I’ve never properly depicted kissing like that in my writing. Ehhh, forgive me if it’s bad. Little note...do you guys know what Chinese drama ‘A Chinese Ghost Story’ is featured in?

#mlqc #mlqc lucien #mlqc fanfic #mlqc imagine #mlqc kiro #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc scenarios #mr love #love and producer #evol x love #li zeyan #victor lee #gavin bai #bai qi #xu mo #lucien xu #zhou qilou #kiro zhou #mlqc x reader #mlqc lucien x reader #mlqc victor x reader #mlqc kiro x reader #mlqc gavin x reader

[purple-cat-demon]

His Birthday Surprise

Word Count: 1,655

Pairing: Gavin x Hazel

Genre: fluff with smut, 18+

Tags: bathtub sex, unprotected sex, minor swearing

Totally made Gavin older than stated in the game for milestone reasons~ 30th birthday antics ensue~

~~~~~~~~~~

Gavin unconsciously reached for his wife while still in bed, but when there was no wife to be found, his eyes snapped open. He sat up quickly and listened for any signs of his lovely wife. Upon looking around, his gaze fell onto a piece of paper lying on Hazel’s pillow. 

~~Good Morning and Happy Birthday, my love~ I’ve prepared a little game for you (please play along, I promise it’ll be worth it). Please meet Anna at AEC at 11am for your first gift and next clue~

He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand: 10:32am.

“Shit!”

He clamored out of bed, washed his face (no time to shower), changed and sprinted out the door. He made it to Anaheim Electronics Company with a minute or two to spare, and saw Anna waiting patiently outside the company entrance. 

“Hey Mr. Birthday Boy!”

She smiled brightly and handed him a small gift and a card with the next clue written on it.

“Here, you're going to need this as well,” she also handed him a large bag for the small gift.

“Did Hazel rope you all into this?” Gavin cocked an eyebrow at her.

“She did but we also wanted to help her make your birthday a special one."

Gavin sighed a bit.

“And you can’t tell me where she is, huh?”

Anna shook her head.

“Nope, I cannot~” 

Gavin read the second clue:

~~Find Willow at the New Light Mall. She will be at the furniture store’s entrance. Please meet her at 12pm.~~

He checked his phone for the time: 11:32am.

“Thanks, Anna,” he said as he waved goodbye to her. Thankfully he wasn’t too far from the mall and found Willow just before 12pm. 

“Happy Birthday, Officer Gavin! You’re probably gonna hear that a lot today,” she giggled. Gavin smiled a bit.

“Thanks, Willow. I’m a little in awe that you all are doing this,” he said she placed another small gift in his bag. 

“Well, you don’t turn 30 everyday,” she mused, handing him his third clue. 

~~Mr. Keller is waiting for you at the Music Gallery on Sunshine Alley. Please meet him there by 1pm.~~

‘Even Mr. Keller??’ Gavin was torn between impressed and flabbergasted at the fact that Hazel even got their former teacher to participate. He waved goodbye to Willow and set off to Sunshine Alley. Mr. Keller was sitting on a bench just outside the Music Gallery when Gavin came running up.

“Hello, Mr. Keller,” he shook his former teacher’s hand, “definitely a surprise to see you here.”

The teacher chuckled.

“Well, I couldn’t very well refuse Miss May, no, Mrs. Bai, now could I?”

They both shared a laugh over the craziness Gavin was enduring for his milestone birthday. 

“Ah, I’m supposed to give you these,” Mr. Keller handed Gavin a small gift bag along with the next clue.

~~If I know my husband, he probably didn’t have breakfast this morning and is now quite hungry. Go meet Minor at Delicioso on Westmoon Street for lunch, Minor’s treat.~~

Gavin shook his head and laughed.

‘Yeah, she does know me,’ he silently mused.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Keller,” he said while shaking the teacher’s hand again.

“Happy Birthday, Gavin. Enjoy the rest of your day.” He waved Gavin off and sat back down on the bench, reminiscing the old days.

‘I’m glad you're happy now, Gavin, you deserve this.’

Gavin’s stomach growled loudly as he got to Delicioso. Minor greeted his friend with a hug.

“Happy Birthday Bro!” The silverette beamed at him, “Come on, let’s get some birthday grub for ya!”

After they ordered their food, Minor happened to notice the bag with all little gifts in it.

“You haven’t opened any of them…”

“Was… I supposed to…?”

“Well, I mean. You could if you wanted to.”

Minor put his small gift in the bag to join the rest of them; he also slid the final clue over to his friend. Before Gavin could read it, their food came, and his train of thought derailed in favor of filling his empty stomach. It had been a while since the two of them hung out together so lunch may have ran a little later than expected. Gavin’s phone buzzed with a text message from Kiki asking where he was. He quickly read the clue,

~~Kiki is waiting at the lobby of the Windsor Hotel. She’ll have the room key to where your lovely wife is waiting for you~ Please meet her at 4pm.~~

It was now 4:30pm.

“Dammit, I’m late meeting with Kiki. Thanks Minor,” he called back to his friend as he ran off, sprinting rather, towards the hotel.

Kiki huffed a little as she impatiently tapped her foot, looking around for the tardy officer. He came up, out of breath, and apologizing profusely to Kiki.

“Dude, you’re lucky it's your birthday,” she said, feigning displeasure. She quickly smiled at him when she noticed the panicked look on his face,

“Just kidding Officer~”

Giggling, she held out the room key to him along with another little gift to put in his bag. 

“Here, now get to your woman already!”

He blushed slightly and waved Kiki off. As he got in the elevator, he noticed the room number.

‘Pent...Suite… #2???’ His face paled, ‘she really did go all out…’ He saw the button on the panel that said PH2, so he pressed it. Upon exiting the elevator, he was greeted with a small hallway that curved towards the right leading him to the front doors of the penthouse suite. He opened the doors to a darkened room, lit by many flameless “candles.”

“Hazel?” Gavin called out to his wife while looking around the spacious suite for her.

“In here, my love,” her reply came from the bedroom but when he walked into the room, there was still no wife. He noticed a light coming from under the bathroom door. As he opened the door, Hazel got up from the bath, a stunning beauty to behold in her husband’s eyes. Even though he had seen her naked numerous times before, there was something about how she looked now that floored him. He could feel his pants tightening with every step he took toward her. Cupping her face, he planted a deep and passionate kiss to her lips; all while she was undoing his belt buckle and pants. She reluctantly broke the kiss off and whispered,

“Hurry up, the water’s getting cold.”

Gavin didn’t have to be told twice as he hastily disrobed, and got in the oversized tub with her. Hazel had him lean back as she straddled him, turning on the jets in the process. The pulsing jets of water soothed the small aches in his lower back, but that pain was a distant memory compared to the alluring vision he had in front of him. She slowly lowered herself onto his length while locked in another passionate kiss; his hands running up and down her back. Her skin felt so soft under his calloused hands as they came to rest on her hips. This whole scenario was driving him crazy but he was trying to keep his release at bay to prolong the pleasure he was feeling until she did that—

“Ah!” He inhaled sharply as she bit, sucked and licked the scar on his collarbone. He damn near came unraveled but not quite yet. She rolled her hips slowly, almost painfully slow because she wanted to catch every reaction her husband was emitting. Gavin shot forward, capturing a nipple in his mouth, causing Hazel to gasp and moan loudly. That was it, that sound she made; he came hard, crying out into the crook of her neck. Her walls clenched around his throbbing length as she came wholly unraveled as well.

“Happy Birthday, my Love,” Hazel said into their kiss. Gavin smiled at his wife, still wondering how the hell he got so lucky to be with her. They stayed like that for a bit of time, until the water went cold. Both of them shakily got out of the bathtub. Hazel tossed a towel to her husband as she dried herself off; then slipping into a black, lace trimmed robe, which elicited a whistle from Gavin.

“You like? I got it especially for tonight~” She did a little twirl; the flared sleeves acting like tiny wings. Gavin walked over, tying the towel around his waist, and tugged at her robe’s tie. 

“I do like it, but it would look even better off of you~”

She playfully smacked his arm, then grabbed his hand and led him to the balcony of the suite. It was a muggy early evening but nothing a little breeze couldn’t fix (courtesy of a certain Evolver). Hazel gazed at the city skyline, now all lit up, while Gavin put his arm around her waist, holding her close to him.

“Isn’t the view incredible?”

She asked, not noticing that his gaze was fixed on her the entire time.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” he replied, not taking his eyes off her. She finally looked over at him and smiled,

“Were you even looking?”

He turned her to face him and placed a kiss on her temple.

“Of course I was looking,” he then kissed her forehead, “at the beautiful view in front of me,” another kiss, this time on her nose. He buried his face in the crook of her neck,

“Thank you for making this the best birthday ever.”

He took this calm moment as an opportunity to plant a hickey on Hazel’s neck, causing her to yelp and jump suddenly. Both laughing, Hazel bolted after Gavin towards the bedroom, where they collapsed into a giggling heap onto the bed. Unfortunately, they both knocked out for the night before Hazel could even give Gavin his cake and other presents; those would just have to wait until morning.

~~~~~~~~~

🎉A birthday fic for the birthday boy (yeah, it was yesterday but who's counting?)🎉

#mlqc #mlqc gavin #mr love queen's choice #love and producer #mr love #mr love gavin #gavin #mr love game #恋与制作人 #bai qi #mlqc gavin smut #mlqc gavin x reader #mlqc gavin spoiler image #mlqc gavin bai #pcd writes