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moonxmagix · 9 months

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MCR Songs & their vibes

MCR songs and whether I think they’re day, night, sunrise, or sunset songs. Also adding seasons. If you get it, you get it. If you don’t then idk what to tell you homie. I do get carried away & include scenarios I personally picture with the songs. It took me a couple hours to write this so please read. This might make more sense for my fellow autistics though:

First album: Bullets

As an overall album I don’t have a set season for it BUT if I had to pick it would be a transition from Summer to Fall. It’s also more of a Day album for me but not ever sunny. With exception of sunsets.

Romance - Sunset but when the sun is almost down, Summer but transitioning into Fall

HTMIBHFTBOU - Night but just after Sunset, still that Summer to Fall transition

Vampires - Night, but sometimes fits a cloudy rainy day, Fall

Drowning Lessons - Night, probably around 9pm, then again I get rain vibes, Fall but exceptionally chilly this day

Our Lady of Sorrows - Night, Fall, i imagine being aggressively drunk to this song in some small shitty venue

Headfirst for Halos - Day but slowly transitions into sunset, nice fall day

Skylines and Turnstiles - Day but super rainy/cloudy to where it looks night, Fall

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville - Day and night because it starts off nice then progressively gets darker, winter

TITBDE - Sunset/night but like right after the sunset, i imagine being at the fairground & setting the firewheel ablaze, Summer transition into Fall

Cubicles - Day but cloudy, Fall but getting close to winter, being miserable at a shitty corporate office job, coffee & cigarettes

Demolition Lovers - Day into night, Winter, blood in the snow

Second Album: Revenge

Easily a Fall album with SOME Winter exceptions. From the story we know I get lots of vibes of murder and suicide. I get lots of screaming and yelling between a couple vibes too. Definitely a Night time album overall.

Helena - Day but rainy & cloudy, funeral vibes but that’s so obvious, peak Fall

Give ‘em Hell Kid - Day but very cloudy it’s almost night, Fall, definitely ‘just got out of school 4 the day’ vibes

To The End - Night, a very eerie night somewhere in the woods bc you & your friends found a vampires mansion and the lore to the house is that a husband & wife lived there but they killed each other, Fall

YKWTDTGLUIP - Night but you're in prison so you don’t care what time of the day it is, Fall but it’s a bit chillier because it’s ALMOST winter

I’m Not Okay (I promise) - Day, cloudy school day with light drizzle, Fall but a bit warmer but it feels like summer because the gym teacher made you run laps outside & you threw up on the side

The Ghost of You - Day/night but cloudy (Kinda going off MV), Winter probably

TJLIGKY - Late Night, downtown somewhere sketchy in a hotel, missing person vibes tbh, rain, Fall transition into Winter

Venom - Night but early on, I imagine fighting for something you want/to keep living/fighting for love even if it’s not necessarily romantic love

Hang ‘Em High - Day, Sunny fall day, emo cowboy vibes idc!, Sunset later on in the song though, very sinister & hungry eyes, possession comes to mind here

Fashion Statement - Night but just turned, graveyard, crawling out of coffin in ground, Fall but foggy

Cemetery Drive - Day but cloudy and rainy, when you were found on the bathroom floor though it was night, staring out the window like a movie, Fall

INTYWIDFAL - Dead of the Night, lots of mania & killing, Staring at the mirror with blood on your hands, Fall

Third Album: Black Parade

This album is Winter through and through! Definitely a transition into Day from Night. Themes of death obvi and incompletion and self hatred. Lots of fire and potentially setting stuff ablaze, so arson! Memories on memories.

The End - Day but you’re in an auditorium watching a play/musical until Night, lots of screaming & agony, Fall but just about Winter

Dead! - Day but it’s cloudy, lots of dreaming & being taunted by death, Winter

TIHID - Night, being in the woods late at night, walking in snow barefoot & blood trailing behind, seeing ghost, Winter

The Sharpest Lives - Night but it’s 2am, drunk, cigarettes, trying to comes to term w/ your career & how you won't achieve anything, Winter

WTTBP - Day into Night, cloudy, dead of Winter but lot’s of fire to keep warm, seeing death finally

I Don’t Love You - Day but cloudy & rainy, Fall transition into winter, painful breakup but we knew that

House of Wolves - Night but downtown vibes so the lights keep everything alive, running from cops vibes, personal rebellion against church & religion, reminiscing on running the streets with friends when young, the memories are Summer but song is Winter

Cancer - Right after Sunrise, patient dies early in the cloudy morning, body stays in bed until Night though so family can visit, lots of flashback of memories, Winter

Mama - Night, arguing with family, lots of anger, war flashbacks, rainy Winter

Sleep - 4am Night, nightmares, sleeping in shitty hotel, haunted hotel, creaky floorboards, sleep paralysis, Winter

Teenagers - Day, Fall, zombie like & judgy teenagers, reminiscing on teenage years, violence

Disenchanted - Night, drinking yourself away, disappointment, feeling like you didn’t do enough, Winter, around Christmas

Famous Last Words - Night 12am, realizing your memory will forever live on, coming to terms w/ death, Winter but the fire is enough to keep you warm

Fourth Album: Danger Days

If you say anything else but Summer you're just wrong. Blazing summer heat & just sweaty musty & dusty mf’s. Themes of fighting for what’s right, the power of friendship & love. Partying in the desert. Obviously a Day time album.

Na Na Na - Day, blazing hot in the desert, partying at some underground rave, hanging head out window to shoot the corporation ppl, robbery, Summer

Bulletproof Heart - Sunset, lots of smiling & laughing w/ crush, trying to runaway with crush to somewhere better, one of the lovers dies because of Korse, Summer but it’s very breezy

SING - Night, “I’m gonna save the world” vibes, sneaking around, cool Summer night

Planetary (GO!) - Sunset but it’s just about to be night, partying, lots of colorful lazerbeams and strobe, very sweaty, Summer

TOHFMIY - Sunset, fighting for friends & showing them love, taking pictures with friends on a desert cliff, Summer

Party Poison - Day, pompous ass character, fighting for what’s right, protest, Summer

SYIHTB - Day into Night, fighting off the Exterminators, stealing cars & sneaking off, sneaky make out session, helping friends get away from Exterminators, Summer

Scarecrow - Day almost Sunset, feeling safe, finding a place to rest & collect thoughts, maybe mourn the people you lost, being found & have to keep moving, Summer but it’s not humid

Summertime - Day into Night, so much love, finally got with crush, telling story of them, sappy, laying in the desert/on-top of car & staring at the stars, hot Summer day but chilly night

Destroya - Day, horny, so hot you had to get almost naked, fighting against corporation by holding a concert of sorts to raise awareness, borderline dehydration, blazing Summer heat

The Kids From Yesterday - Sunset, reminiscing hard, missing childhood/younger self, living in the moment, hand holding w/ friends, realizing you’re not actually alone, Summer into Fall

Vampire Money - Day, causing chaos with friends, so many crimes, more crimes, scary teenagers, selling soul for fame, Summer in Los Angeles

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arcplaysgames · 1 year

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I am a Persona 5 enthusiast above all else and a Persona 3 Portable lover directly after that, but fuck if the MC x Yosuke relationship doesn’t own my entire life

I should prob wait until I'm fully done bc I think I'm at the final dungeon now (or, there's a bonus one later i guess that's optional?) but

jesus fucking christ can i please just talk about Yosuke finally because I feel like i'm gonna explode

I don't think I see Yosuke as bisexual is the thing that I have settled on. I feel like Yosuke is a badly closeted scared shitty teenager who is simmering with so much repressed anger and resignation, he doesn't know how to adequately handle it (and frankly he's slowly getting better over the course of the game). But all of his worst moments in the story feel like he's acting from a script, namely the CompHet Script From Hell.

(Also, I would say that I think of Kanji as The Bisexual One while Yosuke is just attracted to dudes, which isn't what I anticipated from the start.)

But Yosuke mostly makes me sad. I feel like the expectations on him, the ones that he has wrapped around himself like a shield in an attempt to ward off people hurting him. Because he's so isolated and desperate for affection, he's willing to do stupid shit to get the attention he wants. All of his bad antics always feel like.... they come from less of a place of horny lust and more from a place of....... fear?

Like when he does the shit around the camping trip and his other sketchy actions, it always feels like a way to say "please be with me in this thing, this is what guys do, right?" like if he hits his mark well enough, he'll unlock some happiness he hasn't figured out yet.

but it's all so SCRIPTED! like when does Yosuke go off the deep end? when there's a script he thinks he has to hit. oh, the spring camping trip can't just be a school trip, it has to be a chance to score with the ladies. oh, you can't just want to get motorcycles and hang out with your best friend, it has to be for laaaaaadies.

but as soon as you separate him from those scripts and he goes back to being him, he's.... such a fucking decent, empathetic guy. he takes in teddie and outright fights to keep him living with him. he takes the lead in the case alongside naoto. he is the first person to rope in Nanako into the group and consistently keeps her involved. and once he gets over his homophobic panic over kanji, he keeps fukcing trying to wingman for kanji, even if kanji would prefer he didn't. and that feels genuine! kanji reacts to it like a cat in a bath, but more than once, yosuke prodding kanji for his taste in boys (and girls and naoto) feels like real interest, not a set up for a punchline. and I've remarked before that he's REALLY decent to naoto re: gender, esp in comparison to the rest of the game, which was STUNNING.

and then he's like "OH SHIT i need to be more of a Dude's Dude" and he morphs into an asshole for a day. then he snaps right back.

the out of universe explanations are clear, i'm not a dumbass. but I am choosing to kill the fucking author and examine what all this genuinely means for the character.

and the guy who attaches himself the MC's hip, and who's growth thru his bullshit is linked to the MC, and who cries around the MC and who accepts a long lingering hug and lets not forget if you roleplay wanting to date him, he's happy.

Maybe in the future this will change, but for the Yosuke of now, in the moment, it feels like his expectations of what Guys And Girls are supposed to be gets in his way of forming stronger relationships (which, again, is why the Naoto thing intrigues me). It feels like he thinks he's supposed to want to date Chie, but when he seeks out intimacy that veers into the romantic, it's not with girls.

ANYWAY I THINK YOSUKE'S GAY, but his closet is sadly made of knives, and it cuts him as he tries to keep himself contorted into the correct shape to keep hidden.

best case scenario is him hanging around the MC until he trips happily into the relationship he wants, built brick by brick until the plausible deniability is left out in the cold

worst case is he's going to get married at 20 and make some poor woman abjectly fucking miserable until they're divorced.

phew okay, all that felt like an exorcism, i feel better now

#Anonymous #yosuke hanamura #p4 #persona liveblog

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orcelito · 1 year

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ok SO i went and got out Most of my knives (i remembered I have a nonbinary knife only after i took the photos & also idk where it is currently. just imagine all these plus a nonbinary flag knife ok? ok)

HERE ^ is the most of them, minus that nonbinary knife. look at that fuckin mess. 32 shown here (i think) plus my nonbinary knife makes 33 blades (minus cooking knives, i dont count those for these purposes)(also counting the swiss army knife as only 1 bc lol)

& some explanations for them! gonna put these under a readmore bc it got Kinda long on accident whoops. Read Ahead if u wanna see me nerd out about my knife collection.

STARTING WITH my big ones.

my spear (gifted to me), my cane sword (from anime convention), my shitty $20 sword (also from anime convention. low quality but cool as hell), my teal mini sword + matching throwing knives (from online), my decorative axe (from a local store), my twin blades (my sharpest blades, theyre actually kinda scary how sharp they are, but i love them bc of it. from online), red saber (from online),

ANDDDDDDDDDDDD my favorite hefty bitch of a machete that i sleep with in my bed frame on the very right (inherited from my grandpa bc i was the first one who spotted it at Family Claiming Day)(this thing really is as long as my leg & much heavier than Any of the rest of the blades pictured here. i love it)

another view of the blades so u can better see how long they are. the big boys. they're lovely. 2nd heaviest blade is the cane sword when it's in its cane, mostly bc that handle has some Heft. tbh id feel safer using it as a bludgeoning weapon than a stabbing weapon, but having a cane sword is just plain cool

AND my smaller blades!

i have a lot of pocket knives. starting from the top left: golden pocket knife (from online), rainbow dragon (from online), rainbow HEFTY boy (heaviest pocket knife, from online), spider knife (from online), stiletto jade (from online), pathetic army boy (from local store, this knife has NO redeeming qualities, but it's mine <3), black stiletto (from local store), plain dagger man (from online), my damascus steel knife (was a gift, probably my singular most expensive knife. fancy boy), Dull Dagger Man (first blade i ever bought, from anime convention)

& for bottom row: teeny black knife (first pocket knife i owned, gift from my dad), lil rainbow knife (from local store), plain steel knife (from sketchy shop in gatlinburg + one of my Favorite knives), green dragon knife (from online, a real beaut), triple throwing knives (also from same sketchy shop in gatlinburg), the baby throwing knives again from the Big Boys pic but i included them again bc they r so teeny tiny, my keychain key blade (from online), swiss army knife (from online), & the pair of claw keychain baldes (from online)

many blades, many stories, so little time. theyre great tho.

SOME FOCUSES:

^ these are all my spring-assisted knives, sorted from worst feel to best feel to open. based on quickness, ease, & general satisfaction. leftmost is leftmost bc i didnt even Know it was spring assisted, bc it doesnt have a nice lil tab on the back to press. no u gotta press on one of the rungs. but once u do it Does spring open, so i included it. next 3 are just Average in feel (these 3 are sibling blades anyways, nice of them to be together). jade stiletto is smooth and quick, nice to open. Hefty Boy rainbow has some THUNK to it when i open it. like that babey's got PURPOSE to it. added to the general size of it & it's just pretty great. AND THEN MY TWO FAVS, green dragon is a perfect beautiful knife & feels very great to open. and then Steel Sketchy Knife aka my 2nd pocket knife & first i bought for myself. it looks plain in comparison to the others, but she's anything But. quick, light, Sharp. it has the Best feel to open, bc it's just a fast SHHK. probably my knife that's seen the most use (aside from my small black knife) just bc of how great it feels to open. i love that knife so much for Real.

& the final highlight, somewhat related, are the knives I actually use the most in my daily life!

on the left are the knives I keep in my bag by default, & thus the ones I carry with me Everywhere i go. small black pocket knife bc she's Ol' Faithful, & a pretty lowkey knife for basic tasks when I dont wanna raise any eyebrows lol. silver knife bc as previously stated i Love using it so much. i take it out when i gotta breakdown a lot of boxes at work, & it Never disappoints. small rainbow keychain key knife bc it's cute & i like to keep it on my keychain. & swiss army knife bc Obviously im gonna keep the swiss army knife in my bag for if i need an emergency tool.

on the right are the three knives I keep out in my apartment. black stiletto lives on my bathroom counter, for bathroom knife needs. green stiletto i keep on my table next to where I hang out in my bedroom, for any couch time needs. & then green dragon beaut camps out on top of some shelves by my front door bc it's Great for opening boxes, aka something I will do for packages I receive after pulling them in the front door. it works for me.

all the rest of my knives live either in a box (for small ones) or my closet (for big ones). i may have a lot of knives, but somehow I never feel like i have enough. i just love collecting them so much <3

#speculation nation #knives #what this boils down to are. my favorites are: Big Hefty Machete that i managed to stab myself with on accident #by dropping it point-first on my finger (whoops)#a plain silver knife i got from a sketchy shop in gatlinburg (there really are so many there) that just feels SO good to use #a beautiful green dragon knife bc it's well balanced & feels great to open. also pretty.#black stiletto knife just bc i love how it feels in my hand. it's also very pointy #& small black knife bc she's ol' faithful. & great for using for average shit to not freak people out #(imagine if i brought ol' Hefty Rainbow out w/ its glass breaking base & wonderful hooked blade. ppl would give me Looks for sure)#i love many other knives but those r my favs #if i had to pick an ABSOLUTE fav it'd have to be my machete. it having drawn my blood did Not discourage me from loving it #it feels very uhh. idk it makes me feel secure having it nearby #if for nothing else than someone seeing me wield that & being like 'what the FUCK' bc it's kinda pretty intimidating lol.#long and heavy. wouldnt actually be great for combat bc that thin part between the blade & the hilt could snap the moment you hit bone #but good for me i never intend to use my blades for that! it feels comforting mostly as an intimidation factor.#the comfort being like. if someone broke in lol. that's why i sleep with it in my bed frame. so i can have it onhand Just In Case #aka it's like sleeping with a gun under my pillow except i just keep a massive fucking knife next to me instead. works for me #not the longest of my blades but it's the heaviest of my blades by far. i feel very lucky to own it.#anyways this has been the Knife Ramble by yours truly. this took me like 2 hours to gather & take pictures of & write this summary #APPRECIATE MY WORK at documenting my collection. this is the first time ive done this in several years.#wish i'd found that nonbinary knife first... oh well...

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stellewriites · 14 days

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fucking hell stelle you've unlocked all the memories of the shitty corporate trainings regarding the lgbtq community. like golly it's so frustrating to me when people want to "help" so much that they go past actually being helpful and accepting and go straight to irritating and unobliging. like if someone FROM the community is telling you it's okay maybe you should take the time to unlearn the negative connotations you've attached to the word queer. shit pisses me off so much 💀 - @mikichko

the trainer and her training were actually really good too is the thing! she was so understanding and willing to explain anything at a slower pace,, but the team im on is just— yeah 💀

i think my coworker is like this bc she’s been pulled up before on saying sketchy stuff in and out of work, so she’s like gone the complete opposite to try and counteract?? but it’s landing in policing terms she doesn’t have a say in instead of coming across as an ‘ally’. it’s,,, really fucking tiring 🥴 😭

#absolutely believe she’s so adamant about using the term queer as an identifier bc she’s prev used it as a slur #like i don’t have Proof but i know it in my bones…. she’s like 30 and still says stuff is ‘gay’ if she doesn’t like it or if a guy is #doing smth Not hyper masculine #soooooo i think it’s a safe bet tbh #also i think her doing a 180 and trying to be super supportive isn’t working BECAUSE it’s not genuine she’s doing it bc she’s been told off #not because she actually cares so her understanding and willingness to learn is surface deep and superficial #stellewrites asks

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alikestory · 2 months

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mostly rambling about writing my webcomic...

i was doing the typesetting for the next chapter and there's this one part where i was like, i need to explain what this person is referring to for this scene to have any weight. i'll just write a quick backstory thing~

anyway it's. as long as a normal chapter nowwwww :'^) INEVITABLY. i still have one little scene left to write dfghj

generally this arc keeps getting LONGER ;___; i know how it ends and i'm like "wait is this going to have any impact if i don't write something about that??" and in general there are lots of things i know about the characters that aren't in the comic and i'm like DOES IT MATTER???? i don't know.... :'3 (like, not stuff that's going to be revealed later just kinda mundane things that happened before the story starts. but then i hate it when a manga has an entire volume dedicated to one side character's backstory and i'd like my webcomic to END ONE DAY.........)

okay so i wasn't like "i'll just write a quick backstory thing~ tee hee~" I SAID IT BLEAKLY. RESIGNED TO MY FATE.

it is mostly the character in question narrating some stuff so i thought okay i'll do it nagata kabi style and i can totally finish this and another 21 page chapter in two months. i mean her manga is in a simple kinda sketchy style and there's a lot of narration but it's interesting....... anyway that's my current plan. basically how shitty can i get away with this looking..... and what if i made it pink like my lesbian experience with loneliness.......... but i don't want people to see it and think of nagata kabi necessarily i just like pink. MY WEBSITE IS ALREADY PINK. IT'S FINE. NO ONE WOULD EVEN NOTICE. also being like "hey remember this completely unrelated and also way better manga???" at the very beginning of a 30-40 page update. :'^) BAD IDEA.

anyway i own (i can't think of a way to abbreviate this title sdfg why is it so long) my lesbian experience with loneliness but i want to read her newer books too. i think i read exchange diary at a library and found it kinda boring tho? .-.;; ig it's not as sensational as long title. less sex appeal. (that is a joke.)

SEEING THE NEWER TITLES IS. bleak. this poor woman what the hell. like reading long title you'd expect things to get better for her and it's not like her manga hasn't been successful either..... it's kind of depressing, i put them on hold at the library but DO I REALLY WANT TO KNOW???

also somewhat self-conscious about my library holds u__u;;; having three volumes of manga in the first place. whenever i put manga on hold i worry they'll think i don't read real books..... (because i DON'T. i put left hand of darkness & house of leaves on hold too but i've had both of them out before and just never actually read them........ THIS TIME I'M GOING TO. I SWEAR.) i also took impossible people out a few months ago so what if they can see my reading history and are like "why do you read so many comic books about alcoholics??" BUT NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. i just have an anxiety disorder :v

aaaaa i also don't even know if this backstory flashback thingy is enough.... I MEAN. I GET IT NOW. I KNOW WHY THEY DRAW AN ENTIRE VOLUME OF VILLAGER E'S BACKSTORY. (actually when i think of this phenomenon i think specifically of fai from tsubasa orz;;;; I'M SORRY.) AND. OKAY. IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

nothing i'm saying or will continue to say is helping my case for Dear Library Employees, I Swear To God I Don't Just Read Comic Books (about alcoholics. i also read comics about other stuff.)

there was some comedy/romance shojo manga i read back in high school and i think the offenders here were by the same author but i don't remember who for sure :v anyway there were a bunch where something serious was about to happen or the characters were finally going to be honest with each other and then they'd have some kinda joke and it would always annoy me bc as we have established i love some sensational drama :v

BUT I GET IT NOW ;_____; THAT IMPULSE...... it's hard to write a sincere and emotional moment and be like WHAT IF IT DOESN'T LAND????? it's so obvious what i'm trying to do that if people go "i don't buy it" then i'll just DIE I GUESS?????????

but you have to try u__u you HAVE TO.

#anyway #here's wonderwall

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ombraventi · 4 years

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Is this another dream, or just a nightmare? Unnerving, concerning, (who's out there?) The clock isn't set to last, my time is fading fast

I can't keep running into spirits of the past

#vaati #the minish cap #minish cap #legend of zelda #my art #throws this into the tags despite being heavily verse-dependent bc dammit i worked hard on this #ok to reblog #anyways *hands you a boy with a god complex**hands you a boy with a god complex**hands you a boy with a god complex**hands you a boy with a #im so upset bc i've fallen (into vaati hell) and i can't get up #i love my shitty gremlin son who's learning how to feel Emotions #learning how to Not just be a sadist #(i mean he's still a sadist. but. he can be other things too)#also this entire thing is rough and sketchy and experimental and i... like it #i'll post my ref sheet of god!vaati soon just for fun lmao #; 𝔟𝔢𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔰 { OOC }#; 𝔞 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩 𝔪𝔞𝔡𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰 { MUSE }#; 𝔞 𝔩𝔢𝔤𝔞𝔠𝔶 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔳𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔡 𝔤𝔩𝔞𝔰𝔰 { ALBUM }#; 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔡 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔭𝔢𝔯𝔣𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 { CHALLENGE }

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oqulis · 5 years

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holy shit. ghol yshit. gay rights i guess

#yall im jdskfjdjflksjdf #for yall who read my fuckin essay in the tags last night. god is real and she loves the gays #the girl i like came to dinner tonight and was like 'so i think i might b bi'#im!!!!! oh shit!!!!!#im really hoping she didn't read me like the open book i was in that moment #bc i think i smiled a little more than i shouldve #but like god fuckin dammit also #like. i love her #but shes also my best friend and i dont wanna ruin that #and also there's no way in hell she likes me back in that way bc . idk maybe im oblivious and part of me hopes i am but #i dont get the feeling that she does #and it'd be real sketchy and shitty of me to b like 'so now that ur out as bi i think ive loved you for like a year'#like it would be pointless and bad of me to tell her but i also feel super dishonest in not disclosing this #both to her and to myself #i think my solution here is just to pine until it burns me up or i die #or move on whatever happens first #if anyone has advice on this pls tell me im really fuckin confused on what to do

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unloved-cadillac · 3 years

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May I request a scenario where Levi & y/n are sleeping together. At a dinner someone asks Levi about his love life & he mentions he’s in a relationship. Y/n thinks he’s talking about someone else, so when they’re in private she decides to end whatever is going on between them bc she doesn’t want Levi to cheat. So Levi has to spell it out that he was talking about her. (:

C/n: I like this. I like it a lot. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

A Secret Love. (Levi x Reader)

Soft lips pampered your neck with kisses as you straddled Levi’s lap. Your hands scratched his undercut, softly moaning at the feeling of his lips, and he moved away from your collarbone to view his artwork.

“You need to buy me more concealer if you’re gonna keep on doing that.” You chuckle and he looks at you. Your flushed cheeks and soft pants made him want to have you then and there. But he had a meeting in a few minutes and he called you in his office for a few seconds of shenanigans.

“Who said I want you to cover it up?” He shoots you a smirk and you roll your eyes. You plant a kiss on his lips and get up from his lap. You go to a mirror and fix your shirt before looking back at him. “Your meeting starts in five. I suggest you go before it starts.” You say and he gets up. “See you later?” He asks before he leaves and you nod.

You would think that you and him were together but that was so not the case. Levi and you had a strict contract about your relationship being only sex. The whole arrangement was just about relieving stress from the corporate business and trying to find some release. At first, everything was fine. Levi would call you to his apartment, spend a few hours there and you would leave. Then you started to stay over. And that turned into just hanging out.

Being his secretary, you always knew where he was and what he was doing. So if he called you into his office, 9 times out of ten, it’s for a quickie. That was it.

Until you started to catch feelings for him.

Each kiss he gave you made your heart jump and the way his hands roamed your body with more sincerity made you fall for him. He genuinely cared about pleasing you, something you weren’t accustom to since most of the jerks you dated last three thrusts and pulled out leaving you unsatisfied and annoyed.

You sat by your desk as Levi went for his meeting, waiting for him to come back. The day was slow and the only thing that he had planned was this big meeting.

Two hours later, Levi comes back to his office with his colleague, Erwin. Erwin was Levi’s childhood friend and now that he was in a similar business position as Levi, they started to see each other at meetings.

“Ms L/n. How lovely to see you again.” Erwin greets and shakes your hand. “Mr Smith. Likewise.” You smile and glance at Levi. “Say, tomorrow night there’s going to be a dinner with many business people. I’m going, Levi’s going and I will love it if you joined.” Erwin says with a smile and you look at Levi. As much as you two had a secret “affair”, he was still your boss. “Uh, I’m going to have to check with my boss first.” You chuckle and Erwin looks at Levi. “Oh, Levi isn’t going to be a pain and not let you come. It’s at the Rose House Restaurant down on Main Street.”

Your eyes widen at the name of it. That was one of the biggest, most expensive restaurants in the city. You would have to book a reservation at least four months prior.

Erwin laughs at your reaction. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there, Y/n. See you, Levi.” He waves at Levi. “Later, Eyebrows.” Erwin disappears into the elevator and as soon as it descends you feel lips on your neck and arms around your waist. “If you wanted to go that shitty restaurant, you could’ve just asked.” He mumbles and you giggle. You turn in his arms and he lifts you onto your desk, settling in between your legs. “Do you want to go? Honestly I’m contemplating on going but if you want to, we’ll go.” He whispers and you nod. “If it’s not a problem?” He scoffs and kisses you as his hands start to roam. “You’ll never be a problem.” See, it was things like that that made you fall hopelessly in love with him. It sucked because you knew it wasn’t true.

~~~~

The next night, you checked your dress and make up for the umpteenth time and finally decided that you were ready. A simple long black dress with a slit up until your upper thigh with thin straps that crossed against your back made you look like a million bucks.

Your phone dinged and you saw that Levi was outside. You quickly grabbed your purse, checked your lipstick and left the apartment. You walked down the stairs and Levi’s eyes widened. You saw the change in his demeanor and you bit your lip as you twirled around, making him see everything. “What do you think? Not bad for a last minute.” You chuckle and he presses his lips against your hand, like a prince.

“You..look beautiful, Y/n.” He whispers and you don’t know if it’s the car lights or your imagination, but you thought Levi was blushing. You smiled and he opened the door for you and you jumped in. Levi sat in the drivers seat and buckled up. He started the car and a few moments later, laid a hand on your thigh.

It made your heart skip.

~~~~

The restaurant was as beautiful as you imagined. Maybe even better. Levi caught sight of the table and escorted you to it.

“Levi! You made it! Oh, Y/n. Looking amazing.” Hange exclaimed and you laughed. You weren’t expecting to see her here. “Hange?!” You say and she hugs you. “Surprised? Got back yesterday and decided to spend the day with my husband. Moblit says hi by the way.” You let go of Levi’s arm and sit next to her as Levi sat next to Erwin and his father. There were many other business men and woman there and although you were nervous, they were all lovely to talk to and Hange made you loosen up.

The night progressed from business talk to family to relationships. A very sketchy topic for you since you didn’t like to talk about it. There was one woman who was by Levi the whole night and you really tried not to be jealous. He wasn’t yours. So why did you feel the angry, green dragon of jealousy wash over you?

“Damn if I had you on my arm, I’ll never complain about anything ever again.” The woman slurs as she sipped her wine. Levi’s buttons were undone and everyone was relatively drunk so you were waiting for Levi to say “yeah. So let’s get outta here.” or something. Instead, something worse was said.

“Too bad I’m in a relationship.” He says and drinks the rest of his whiskey. Erwin, Hange and Erwin’s father snapped to him. “What?! With who?! Why didn’t you tell us?!” Erwin and Hange ask him and Erwin’s father pats him on his shoulder.

“What’s she like?” Hange asks and Levi groans. “As if I’d tell you.” His eyes glance to you. “Come on Levi! Tell us one thing, at least.”

Levi puts his glass down and clears his throat. “She’s beautiful. Witty and clever. She puts up with my shit and she’s special. Very special.” He says and Erwin smiles. You put your head down, staring at the liquid in your glass as if it held all the answers to the universe.

Levi was in a relationship? And he didn’t tell you? That means, this entire time, he was cheating. The thought made you sick to your stomach because as much as you loved Levi, you respected his unknown girlfriend as well and she didn’t deserve to know that her boyfriend had been banging his secretary for the past months.

“She sounds great, son.” Erwin’s father say and he nods. “She is.” She must really have made a special mark on his heart if he’s talking so much about her. You bite your lip trying to not cry. It hurt. It hurt like someone has stabbed your a thousand time and then proceeded to rip your heart out.

When it was time to leave, you kissed Hange and Erwin goodbye as waved goodbye to all of the people. Levi draped his coat over your shoulders and you froze. “Can only imagine how cold you must be.” He says and you nod. Weird. You always joked about everything and was so carefree so what was the change?

You and Levi walked to his car and before he could open the door for you, you opened it for yourself and sat inside. Levi pulled his eyebrows in, confused at your actions but he didn’t say anything. Rather he just went into the car and drove you home.

The entire ride home, you didn’t utter a single word. Not about the restaurant, not about the food, hell not even about him. Your mind was just trying to find a way to break this off in the calmest way possible.

When Levi parked outside your apartment, he turned the car off and looked at you. “You’ve been quiet all night, what’s wrong?” He asks and you breath in a big breath. “I think...we need to stop whatever this is.” You motion between the two of you and Levi’s heart stops. “What? Why?”

“Levi,” you look at him, dejected and tired, “you’re in a relationship and you didn’t tell me. It’s one thing to be doing this but she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on. She sounds like a great girl, by the way. I hope you and her have a good life together.”

Before he could even get a word in, you take off his jacket and jump out the car. You walked up three steps before your arm was caught by a hand, turning you. You almost fell but Levi caught you. “You really are an idiot.” He whispers and you pull away from his shoulder.

“What?”

“I said that you’re an idiot. How can you say that you’re such a great girl and then leave without me agreeing with you?”

Your lips part and before you could say “what?” Levi pulls you in for a kiss. “It’s you, dummy. I was talking about you,” he murmurs against your lips, “you’re witty and clever. You’re the one who can piss me off and turn me on at the same time. You’re the one who can put up with my shit. You’re the one, Y/n.”

You look deep into his gunmetal eyes, flabbergasted and touched. “Wh-Why didn’t you say anything back at the restaurant then?” Levi scoffs.

“I wasn’t going to officially ask you to be mine in front of a bunch of unknown people. What if you rejected me?” He jokes and you kiss him. Again and again.

“Never. I’ll never reject you.” You softly say as he hums against your lips. “Be mine, Y/n.” “I was already yours.”

You stay enveloped in his arms for a while but then he lifts you up and carries you bridal style to your apartment.

“Now can I show you what you being in that dress did to me the whole night?”

——————————————————————————

“It’s only you who loves me like you do.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

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chupacabraatemybrother · 2 years

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I'm 30.

It's really weird to be an age that doesn't have a 2 in front of it, especially since I still feel like I was just 19.

When I was 19 I didn't really have a plan. I mean I know that's most people but I couldn't even picture myself still existing at 30. In high school I daydreamed about my own death as a coping mechanism. When I did think about adulthood as a teenager I though about college, but even through college I never really thought about what comes next until a couple weeks before graduation and I realized I was alive and needed to do something with myself. If someone asked me what I was going to do I would just shrug and say find a job - and if you got a real answer I would have told you something along the lines of "life sucks and then you die so does it really matter?"

Just before college graduation a friend told me I should be excited. I had freedom. I could pack up and move to Colorado and work shitty jobs and make friends and go hiking. I looked at him like he had two heads. Do you know how much rent is? I asked. And I'll need to eat.

I had student loans. I had medications and obligations and I'm not neurotypical. A random roommate in a shitty apartment sounded like hell. I didn't have a driver's license, l had panic attacks on public transit and my mother had a meltdown when I decided to spend the new years eve I was 21 with friends and not her. Freedom? What the fuck was that?

I ended up moving back home and working two shitty jobs. I worked my ass off to take the driving test without crying and buy a shitty car from a sketchy dealership. I was denied the 5k loan to get the car and my parents couldn't help but I made it work. I got better meds and stopped fearing public transit. I moved in with my boyfriend. I traded the two shitty jobs for one slightly less shitty job. I traded the slightly less shitty job for a great job. I married my boyfriend, so he's a husband now. I aquired some cats.

That's when I felt it for the first time. That freedom people tell you you have. Freedom isn't youth. People make that mistake all the time. Freedom is stability. Freedom is knowing you can do what you want because you have the resources to do so and also to bounce back from a fuck up.

Freedom is also a choice. It's the ability to say no to some people and yes to others without feeling guilty. It's the decision to finally get that piercing I've wanted for years even though I have a needle phobia. It's trying a new route to work and finding a delightful field full of daisies you never would have seen otherwise. It's buying a birthday cake from the grocery store when it's nobody's birthday. Freedom is realizing no one is stopping me from just...shaving the sides of my head or hell, just running into a field at the town park to beat up a hay bale. (Yes, I did this. Yes I recommend but with caution bc I broke out in hives after).

That freedom everyone says you should have at 20? I finally settled into this year.

It gets better.

#me #idk bro #30 #it gets better #it gets easier #freedom #stability

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marvel-download-tutorial · 4 years

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How to Download Marvel comics for free!

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while especially since we’re all stick inside but last week Marvel made the shitty decision to transition various print titles to digital only, meaning they’re directly taking revenue away from local shops rather than delay the titles, so since Marvel thinks digital comics is such a cool idea I’m gonna show you how to download as many as you’d like! (oh also this is for windows only, idk how to do it if you own a mac but also you’re rich anyways so who cares buy the comics richie)

I don’t want to take money away from the people that need it, not the actual companies of Marvel and DC fuck them they’re dying and they deserve it, but for my own rationalizing I want to take a minute to plug the Hero Initiative, basically what it is an organization that provides for comic creators that are having hard times, comics are a rough industry and you don’t get into it to get rich, I won’t go into it too much you can read for yourself but it’s been endorsed by Stan Lee, Justin Ponsor, Mike Grell, Skottie Young, Rags Morales, a lot of big names, so I’d ask if you do follow this guide and download some comics for free please consider donating to the Hero Initiative (they also sell autographed prints and you can commission some really famous artists)

anyways onto the good stuff! I’m going to be doing a fairly brief but easy to follow guide, there will be links at the bottom of the post so look for those, I’ll probably be making a few other posts with some more info so also check back for those if my blog is still here

What do I need?

You’re going to need 4 basic things if you want to do this as easily and safely as you can

1) a good anti-virus

2) anonymous web browser (Tor)

4) a safe and reliable source for the comics

4) a torrent program to download the comics

Also optional: VPN

Anti-Virus

it’s good to remember when torrenting that no one is your friend, everyone is out to trick you and no one cares, honestly you should also have a good anti-virus though, I’m not really gonna tell you which one you should have but Norton 360 is pretty good but say that in a room of CS majors is the quickest way to start a fist fight, honestly just google it, you’re gonna have to do some research, but really you’re good as long as you don’t go with Avast or Kaspersky, I’m going to go over typical tricks and traps later to ensure safety, this is just basic overall security thing

Anonymous Web Browser (Tor)

next we’re gonna download Tor (you can do this before getting a VPN, like I said either one is going to put you on a list but using one to cover you getting the other at least mitigates it lol) Tor is a great open source project that allows for basically complete anonymous web browsing, it’s a project dedicated to privacy and disruption of corporations ability to control every aspect of our lives, also a friend of mine bought K off silk road with it once in highschool, really not too much you need to know about it before using it, just download it, let it configure and you’re good, also use Duck Duck go that it comes with, don’t switch it to chrome or anything, Duck Duck go is anonymous search service which better lends to Tor’s protection

Where to get the torrents

Now this is really important because you can have everything else set up but without a safe reliable source none of this is gonna do any good, but this is the dangerous part, torrent sites are notorious traps (I bricked more than on family PC on limewire) and this is why I said earlier to remember these people are not your friends and are out to hurt you, don’t click banner ads, don’t believe pop ups, make sure your virus protection is on and it’s a very good idea to have an adblocker on, also look out for another post I’ll be making on what download buttons to trust for different popular torrent sites

when talking comics (and remember specifically only Marvel comics) there’s no other name out there than Nemesis43, he is a god and he’s going to be your new best friend, there are groups and sites out there that do comic scans that you have to pay to join or like apply to join, that shit’s dumb as hell and I’ve never used them once and I’ve got more comic than I can read in my lifetime, you don’t need em and you especially don’t need to give them money, donate to the Hero Initiative instead

Nemesis has moved around a bit in the past (if you remember the WWT debacle) right now the main site for him is ettv (there will be a link at the end of the post) sites a bit barren but he’s there, he also has a reddit he gives updates on very rarely, generally if he moves he adds where his new home is in a text doc in his recent uploads, I fully trust him and his uploads, he’s been doing this for years and I’d never have a second thought downloading from him, also because he uploads so much he’s often very highly rated and verified on whatever site he’s on

The second place I’d recommend is getcomic (again there will be a link at the end), now this is very important, never donate to them, they kinda suck, basically they’re plugged into a bunch of different scanner groups and just steal those scans and put them up and then ask for donations, basically they’re just an aggregate (Nem kinda is too but he doesn’t ask for donations and stuff), they usually use browser downloads which are a complete pain so I’d really recommend Nemesis over them but they do have TheComicGuy on torrent galaxy for larger files but that updates a lot less frequently then the main site, again I trust these guys (as long as you’re on the actual site) but don’t trust any banner ads or pop ups, also for downloading they give multiple options, a lot are very sketchy, just use the main server

also there’s other sites like readcomics or newcomics, never used em, don’t like em, use at your own behest

On sites like ettv you’re gonna want to use the magnet, someone years ago told me it was safer and I just believed them and have always used em, not sure if it’s true but it’s worked so whatever, really you shouldn’t be too worried about this stuff and if you follow this guide you’re going to be way over prepared to download comics, really no one cares about comic torrenting, movies, video games, tv shows that’s the stuff people really get caught on, this is just nerd shit

I’m going to be making another post showing how to use these sites, and other sites comic can be found on so look back at my blog for that

Torrent program

This is pretty basic, just get utorrent, it’s what I’ve always used, it works, whatever, definitely look this up with a VPN on or on Tor, it’s simple to use, I’ll be doing a short tutorial on how to make it even safer

Lastly this one is optional but a pretty good idea, for more than just this

VPN aka Virtual Privacy Network

honestly you can get the anonymous web browser (Tor) or the VPN first, their both going to help cover you downloading the other and honestly both are going to put you on a list for googling them (which is why I suggest looking for someone who just already has the .exes ((I always keep them on a thumbdrive for when I have to reset one of my computers)), I might try to make a google drive with em but also I might not bc that sounds like work and I’m already typing all this up), anyways I’m not really gonna explain what a VPN is, there’s a lot of resources that can explain it better than I can but basically it masks what you do on the internet, there’s a lot of choices when picking a VPN but the big thing I looked for when choosing mine was 1) non-US based so it’s harder for US investigation agencies to request stuff for them or get anything from them 2) one that doesn’t keep logs, honestly they all do even if they say they don’t, but you wanna look for one that hasn’t turned over many logs to US agencies and 3) unlimited peer 2 peer connections which is complicated but basically means you can torrent stuff anonymously and with decent speed. Like Anti-Virus there are a ton of different VPN’s out there, you really have to do research because there are actual accounts of FBI agencies crating VPN’s telling people they’re anonymous when really they had direct access to all the info, I haven’t done any research but NordVPN seems kinda like one of these, really the more they advertise the more suspicious I am, Just google “best vpn 2020″ and look at like 5 lists and read the the stuff, personally I use IPvanish which unfortunately is US based and while it gave over logs in 2016 even thought they said they didn’t keep any but now they’re owned by a new company that super double promises they don’t (again who cares they all do) but they’ve allow P2P and use 256-bit AES encryption

I wanna take a second to mention that this isn’t going to be free, this is the only place you’re going to be spending money (besides donating to Heroe Initative of course), a good VPN is about $100 a year which all in all isn’t terrible, technically you can just get by on the anonymous browser but this gives you an extra layer of security to pretty much ensure you won’t get caught and plus in the ever worsening internet hell world a VPN is becoming more and more important, I’m sure you can find articles about it but yea you don’t technically need a VPN but it’s useful for more than just this

How to work it all

Ok so this is gonna be a little stream of consciousness, as this all kinda has been, so sorry but I’m gonna try and explain it as best I can and also feel free to ask any questions on this blog, I’ll check back eventually I’m sure

So first thing first, make sure you’re virus protection is on and you’re connected on your VPN if you’re using it (you can google “what is my IP” to double check it’s working) then load up Tor, let it load and connect up and whatever, then go to https://www.ettvdl.com/user/Nemesis43 (I’m just gonna show this with Nemesis43, maybe I’ll make another one for getcomics but that’s pretty straight forward, also nem is better)

now remember we’re only here for Marvel comics, so scroll past all those thousands of other comics this would work exactly the same for, I’m gonna go for Ant-Man #4 which was released on the 13 as a digital only comic despite the first three issues being physical copies and now sit on my shelf forever unfinished making me look like a complete penis

it may take a while but it’s going to look like this, click on the blue words, it’s gonna take you to a page that looks like this

now from here we’re going to get the magnet link, right click and select copy link address, I like doing this because it limits my interactions with the page, note the advertisement at the top telling me I need a VPN despite thinking I’m in Guadalajara (which for legal reasons I am)

just copy that and then go to utorrent and click the add link

it’ll open a little box, it should add the link automatically, if it doesn’t just hit ctrl+V

hit ok and it’ll load it up, it might need to download some metadata but after that it should be good, oh also it might bring up a window basically asking where you want to save it and what to name it, you can set all that up in preferences, I did so I just turned that window off and can’t be assed to turn it back on, just hit ok if you don’t wanna bother with that stuff, it’ll go into your downloads by default

and that’s it really, it’s that easy, I might make another thing talking about how to make utorrent more anonymous or whatever so look for that, but stock it’s fine, also when it’s finished downloading it’s gonna start seeding (like uploading to someone else) I’ve always been a scumbag and I never seed but Nemesis seeds stuff so much you really don’t need to anyways, just select it and hit the stop button (the black square on the tool bar)

here are all the links I could think of

Hero Initiative

download Tor

here’s a guide for VPNs

download utorrent

song I found recently that I like

getcomics

Nemesis

so yea that’s pretty much the basics, be smart, be safe, any viruses you get are on you but I hope you found this helpful and feel free to ask any questions

oh and also this is all parody and I’ve never actually torrented anything, I don’t even own a computer

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beaversatemygrandma · 3 years

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Idk how many times i mentioned that sketchy landlord i used to have here (the one who i didnt realize was the creepy guy who stalked me at 17 trying to buy a sexual favor from me and i then proceeded to rent from him unknowingly) but something just hit me. Okay, so when we first changed the locks, he requested a copy as well. Like okay. That makes sense. He owns the place. About a week before i moved out of the place, i had a few coworkers over and we’re hanging out and somebody had a blunt. And this guy strolls up and just WALKS THE FUCK INSIDE WITHOUT KNOCKING. Luckily i saw him coming up the stairs from the window and quickly told her to put out the blunt and hide it. I didn’t even have a chance to get some air freshener or incense lit to mask the smell (thankfully every window was open and fans were going so tbh it was nbd imo). Anyways before he even got to the point of why he had even walked right into my damn apartment, he ends up yelling at me about how bad it is to have weed in his place. I end up having an anxiety attack and my coworker just flat out tells him that she was the only one with weed and smoking it, taking all the anger off me (thank fuckin god) and proceeds to go on about how he was showing the place to a potential future renter (BEFORE he even knew i was moving out, red flag tbh) and was checking if the place was good to show that day. My roommate’s gay flag was hanging over the tv and we had shit for furniture bc we were poor as all hell. (Like thrift store and your mom’s hand-me-down grade stuff, nothing matched, it looked like a trap house) And I’m just sitting there like “okay do whatever the fuck you want, i had an anxiety attack. Idgaf.” and we just straight up left with the front door unlocked. I hid all the valuables and locked the bedroom doors, thank god so we didn’t come home to no tvs and no xbox bc that was all we had worth over $100. We just went downtown, sat in a field near the fort and finished the damn blunt and wasted like three hours of time before going home. Fuckin sucked that my roommate wasn’t home bc the landlord saw him as the ‘man of the house’ and looked down at me like i was a literal child. It would’ve helped, but no, he was at work. I was just chilling and got oh so rudely interrupted.

What hit me was, how many times had he walked into the apartment when i wasn’t home? It was possible and just by that day I know he would’ve done it without remorse. Like, that’s fucked up, right? I’m honestly now kinda creeped out by that idea and I’m hating it. Thank God I’m out of that shitty place. But holy shit.

#creepy landlord #shitty place #overpriced as all hell bc it was a mile away from the beach #i shouldve never signed that lease #one year was too long to stay there #hell we had a downstairs neighbor that hated us simply bc there was a leak the landlord didnt believe was there #bc and i quote 'that lady's crazy there's nothing wrong with your shower'#deadass there was she was getting dripped on if we were taking a shower while she was using her toilet #we once had our water turned off for three days bc of this whole situation #and the neighbor came upstairs and asked if we could recaulk our tub ourselves #and we did bc the landlord wouldnt do shit about it #i hoped that fixed it bc i never heard anything else about it after that #and then when the apartment next to us opened up the landlord started talking about how he was going to buy it and live there #like i could hardly deal with seeing him once a month for rent but living next to us???#fuck no i was out of there #and the last night there i was waiting for my roommate to come back from moving his furniture to his new place and the guy just strolls in #im texting and calling my roommate like every two seconds freaking the fuck out bc it felt like i was getting sized up #all bc it was valentines day and i was sitting at home trying to clear out and he didn't have a date #it was damn terrifying and im glad ill never have to see the fucker again #still bitter i didnt get my deposit back after all that but i wasn't about the chase the guy down #so bye $1k ill miss you #ugh dont like all that #beavers speaks #dont rent a place off craigslist from a private owner #just dont #youll end up with a technologically inept creepy old dude who walks into your house like he lives there #he also immediately assumed that me and my roommate were engaged and moving in together and my roommate didn't have the guts to tell him #that we werent and we were just gay people sharing space bc this guy was a damn bigot #the last night i had to come up with some story of how we broke up so that was interesting #i do not like the idea of him walking into my house while im not home

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castiel-kline · 4 years

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KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

#kitkat rambles #kitkat's random spn rewatch #spn 6x20

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zai-doodles · 5 years

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Podcats recs

The adventure zone - brother play dnd with their dad and its funny as hell, story picks up around the 3rd arc but it maintains it humor throughout and it's just fucking amazing

Wolf 359 - these r the audio diaries of doug eiffle on the USS hephaestus, hes a lazy communication officer who is bffs with the ships ai, hera, and I love her sm. Podcast is super funny and light hearted then it kicks u in the feels bc fuck u. Its amazing though and I would holy heartedly reccomend it

The bright sessions- ok soooo imagine the x men in therapy??? So these r the audio logs of dr. Bright, shes a therapist who specializes in kids and adults with powers trying to live normal live by helping them cope with their abilities and teaching them to control them. This one is super cute and funny and great and one of the leading romances is a gay couple and I'm here for it. Plot is amazing and yes

The penumbra podcast - ok so imagine a detective noire black and white style film... on mars.... and gender doesnt exist... and everyone is bi.... and its amazing. Ok so u follow juno steel, a independent detective on mars who's a fucking bisexual disaster who cant catch a break. This one is a bit on the heavier side but still has its moments and its story and characters r so amazing and yes

Deadly manners - this one is short, its basically a who done it murder mystery thing and while cheesy it's very entertaining and funny throughout! Also very very gay

Archive 81- Ahh hhh ok ok so I have no idea how to explain this but basically it's a horror podcast that starts out following the recordings of this dude named Dave who is tasked with archiving some sketchy tapes for this sketchy company and the tapes have some really fucked up shit on them and then things happen and magic is real and it sucks cuz now u gotta give this payphone ur left hand.... it's really good but very dark and a lil confusing but the third season is so amazing and the ending of the second season is a trip and I love it sm

Girl in space - this girl has been left alone on a giant ship with nothing but an AI to keep her company for years, then all of a sudden she has guest and she must adapt and it's funny as hell and I love all of them so much ah

Bombarded - this is a dnd podcast abt 3 bards attending board school and it's super silly and fun and the music is awesome, the plot is still in the works since it's just sorta picking up but it's a fun listen!

Directive - this one is short, it's a man who loses his job and is unable to find a new one so he takes a job as a care taker for rich ppl on a ship who r all taking a virtual vacation, the only problem being that he cant have any human physical interaction with anyone during his time on the ship. This one just made me cry oops, it's funny as hell at the beginning and then crying

Time bombs - another short one, 3 eps of just some bomb squad peeps doing their job on new years eve, this one is super funny and great and I love it so much and I need more of it now

The strange case of starship iris - ok ok lesbians in space. Yes. So violet liu is in a very shitty situation on a ship in space all by herself with little chance of survival until a woman on another ship makes contact with her and helps her out big time... but is she helping???? This one is super funny and all the characters r super fun and just ahh, it's short and updated whenever it wants but it's worth a listen! And also the government is watching ur every move. It's also gay

The far meridian- the story of peri, an agoraphobic woman who's home one day starts moving some where new every day when she wakes up. She has no control where she winds up but sees it as a chance to search for her brother. She makes friends along the way and slowly learns to understand people and learn their stories then fucking some mind thing shows up and starts fucking with her and it makes me so sad. And more gay

The blood crow stories- in its third season on going, this show is split in three separate stories. Season one focuses on a college student working on his final paper by doing an analysis of some old tapes he found of a boat that sunk in the early 1900s and also demons exist somehow and things take a turn so fast I just ahh. It's also super gay. Season two follows sheriff isaac of blackwell, set in American wild west, hes hunting a killer that seems to be targeting men in his town but things get complicated when they realized the killer has an army. This one is also gay. Season three is in a futuristic syfy setting following a hacker who works at an emergency hotline service, she starts getting freaked out by calls she gets at work and other strange happenings in her life. This too, is gay.

The message- NASA found an indecipherable message, determined to be from space, and assigns a team of scientists to figure out what it means. You follow a woman whose documenting the whole thing on her weekly podcast but things get complicated when they find out the reason no one could decipher the message

Life after- a man who's wife recently died is obsessed with her old social media, voice tree. He listens to all of her posts on loop and has memorized most of them. So what happens when it goes off script. This show is incredibly chilling and amazing, its incredibly sad yet impactful and made me cry help

Arcs pod- a dnd podcast in that's very similar in humor and style to taz with the production and editing of the bright sessions. The show centers around 3 idiots trying to get to this school. The npcs r all wonderful and then dm does an amazing job of setting up scenes and making each npc feel like a well rounded character. And gay

The Amelia project- hey ever wanna fake ur own death??? Well then Amelia project has got u covered as long as u can pay and have a good story to tell. This show is recordings of interviews with people explaining why they want to fake their own death and the explanations range from crazy cults to feeling like a background character! This show is extremely light hearted and fun. Fairly easy listen and its over the top humor and concepts are incredibly entertaining.

#podcasts #the adventure zone balance #the adventure zone #taz #the bright sessions #wolf 359 #the penumbra podcast #deadly manners podcast #the strange case of starship iris #time bombs podcast #the far meridian #the blood crow stories #the message podcast #life after podcast #arcs podcast #the amelia project

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star-anise · 5 years

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Hey so your post about wanting people to want you just punched me in the chest cos I genuinely thought that was a me problem, do you have any advice on how you deal with that constructively? Because I sure as hell don't know... no worries if it'd something you'd rather not talk about though :)

To be honest... I’m still working through it!!! I literally just figured it out as I wrote that post.

Dealing with that gaping void got a little easier this summer bc I could sob wretchedly about how terrifying expressing my desires was while resting my head in my girlfriend’s lap while she petted my hair, but since we normally live on opposite ends of the country, it’s!! a little expensive for everyday use!!

I do kind of have vague sketchy thoughts of:

1. Desensitization training to the experience of having other people indulge your wants and needs. Even little things are hard for me--if I’m in a mall with a friend and I want to look into a store they’re apathetic about, I’ve sometimes found myself very afraid of going inside and making them wait or accompany me for five minutes. More to the point, this is an anxiety trigger for me--if I try it, my body rapidly escalates my anxiety to “OH FUCK HOLY SHIT YOU MESSED UP HERE THEY PROBABLY HATE YOU.” Do maaaaybe I can do systematic desensitization, where I practice asking for something minor or saying, “Can you humour me for a bit,” and staying calm through it.

2. Practicing that trick where instead of apologizing to people, you thank them. Like, instead of “Sorry I’m late,” “Thanks for waiting for me.” Instead of, “Sorry, I know I’m trying,” try “Thanks for bearing with me.”

3. This all, of course, depends on the other person being able to say no. If they cannot say no, it becomes a consent issue where asking is fraught. So it helps me to keep aware of who’s able to consent and who isn’t.

4. For sex, there are things like yes/no/maybe lists, and those might be helpful? Maybe I could make a yes/no/maybe list of fanfic tropes?

5. I know people who are into deeply weird and unusual sexual things, and they have found people! Who like the thing too and do it with them! So actually just figuring out what you’re into and networking to find someone else who’s into it too seems to be a very effective way to go about things. (This is a benefit of polyamory for me: I get a lot more leeway to look and less pressure to turn one person into a one-stop shop.)

6. People who learn about what you like and give you the thing but act really shitty about it and complain about how onerous you are? Are bad people to be sexually or romantically involved with. Their grousing is not an automatic sign that you are bad or unreasonable. You need more data because it’s very possible that there might be someone out there who would love to give you the thing.

I’m also open to more thoughts!

#staranise original #unicornthelulu

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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 4 years

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Nobody Wants This Bc She Sucks But Fuck You I’m Gonna Talk About Her Anyway

loly aivirrne sucks. shes the absolute worst and is an unrepentant bastard. but that’s what i like about her. also bc shes a centipede and it kicks ass. and because i keep thinking about a series thats been over for years and is never gonna have any more shit (theres light novels but i dont have the patience to read) im gonna develop her. DESPITE HER HORRIBLENESS, i am of the belief that she deserves what all the girls in bleach deserve: better. and like, fuck, im not going back to the rpc so heres some headcanons lmao

she hides her zanpakuto in her eye mask fragment. kubo makes a repeated joke that she hides it somewhere weird n nasty and i rolled my eyes both times.

in a desperate attempt to prove her worth, she tried to sell herself as a secretary/aide rather than a fighter. she is not actually good at secretary work and is much better suited to combat, but because she wanted to be seen as attractive and traditionally womanly, she tried to repress that.

she ended up being very insecure about her femininity and appeal, and this may or may not have been subtly encouraged by someone who wanted to keep all the arrancar under his thumb.

bc yknow if shes too busy being catty and petty to other girls and fussing over herself, then she’ll never notice that she’s being punked!

her treatment of orihime is just the culmination of that! it has nothing to do with orihime herself and all to do with loly trying to maintain her place in the pecking order and feeling threatened/intimidated by another girl!

i imagine she treated menoly much the same before orihime ever showed up bc she was another aide to aizen and you cant have that! but menoly followed behind her, and that kinda just encouraged loly to continue treating her badly.

and bc of all this shit shes been internalizing, someone that doesnt strike back and is stubbornly kind, compassionate out of spite instead is incredibly alien to her. it disgusts her! how could anyone be like that! dont they know what this world is like? its hate vs hate! its dog eat dog! you weirdo!

and out of denial of everything that shes seen, she holds onto all of that for far longer than she should, because its the only way of life that makes any sense! right? right??

eventually she gets over it, and realizes that she used all of that to hold herself way back. who was she trying to kid with this “oh im an aide!! i do paperwork and stuff :)” bullshit. she wasted her time with all of that when she could’ve been making herself way deadlier!

now that she has no one to try and be sexy for shes free to go fucking apeshit and be the most bastardous she can be. and she can wear cute things bc now its what she wants instead of just being expected of her. Girls Night Every Night.

and in her own... way... she does end up apologizing to orihime. she doesnt say “sorry :(” but she does talk about it. and then immediately cover it up by calling her weird and never speaking to her again.

now for the most out there shit masterminded by me and @devilatelier who is the only valid nnoitra

aivirrne isn’t loly’s original last name. she changed it to distance herself from her big brother who she hates and is rebelling against. who is this big brother, you may ask? what are you pulling out of your ass now? well, it is of course, the other shitty bug arrancar, Nnoitra. hear me out:

they’re both complete bastards

they both have their mask fragment over the same eye

they’re both bugs

they both have dark hair and similar colored eyes (pink, purple, close enough)

they both have a voice of reason in the form of a more even-tempered blonde

they’re both rude as hell to their blondes

and if we go with canon and nnoitra is indeed dead, she never gets to reconcile with him. so thats just another extra thing for her to angst over. i mean he sucked, but she sucked too. sketchy of them in the past:

anyway heres a rough redesign of her post-aizen bc god damn why did you make this seemingly teenaged girl have her tits out

#bleach shit #dont fucking reblog this #ill kill you if you do

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