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#bc none of my other tags apply to this
ferretwhomst · 10 months
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get stanleyed idiot
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randomminty · 1 year
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Putting my iono and grusha here as well. They’re friends for streaming reasons
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haeroniel-doliet · 1 year
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God that mood where you both need to do stuff and want to do stuff but both needs are vague and have too many options so you just. Do nothing you want or need to do and realize all the time you had is disappearing. A good time!!!
#haeroniel talks#forget the tag oh well#but for real. had 4 days off work and a ton of real life stuff i both have to get done and have been meaning to get done for a long time#ive pretty much only played video games and called my friends. genuinely not time wasted and i love when i get to do that#and like rn i would love to play more games and spend time with my friends like if one offers you know i never say no#but its also already getting dark and i have to go back to work tomorrow and ive not done everything i promised to have done yknow?#time doesnt feel real and i dont wanna get up even if the anxiety slowly builds to hopefully productive panic#but in the mean time im like ugghh i wanna stop laying around just playing sudoku and watching lame youtube. i wanna play something#(unclear what it is i actually wanna play too many options i kinda wanna play all of them and none huehheh)#im also very sad i havent drawn in ages and any attempt just feels shit. like maybe if i read enough fanfic thatll respark the love.#id love to post something before christmas to get me excited to draw again over the break but who the hell knows if i'll manage#and yeah still have the annoying job related/driving school related/therapy applying/other life admin that really really should be done#im just being grouchy and stuck and need to vent hi tumblr love you all kiss kiss i wish i could function better#i think maybe perhaps. ill concede that driving school and therapy arent priority (important but ive wasted ages on them already)#i think i can do work related things bc theyre sort of fun. i can use my parents help to whack through the life admin and then#maybe i can let myself spend the rest of the evening guilt free either calling my friends and/or playing or if im going totally w drawin
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frogchiro · 1 year
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hi me again i know its not eremites but my brain has been HAAAUUNNNNTEEED by omegaverse and COD i just know for a fact Ghost n Price share a role as "leader" of the pack, more Price than Ghost (warrior cat brain: DEPUTY GHOST *WACK*) and yes the entire pack takes care of their sweet omega but they feel the most weight of keeping her happy n healthy :<< Ughehrgrgrgrr Ghost is a silent lover, (this can really apply for annnnnyy au im just barfing my brain out here) brushing your hair out of your face as you sleep, cheek smooshed against your pillow. Oh my god you know that man would invest in silk pillow cases if you mentioned that silk is better for your skin n hair. That one stuffie you can't seem to sleep without, it never seems to get dirty, you don't think much of it. That's cause Ghost brushes it out for you, making sure theres no limp neck syndrome either (basically the fluff gets separated from body n head leaving none for neck) mention that you like a certain snack? or found a childhood snack you had but could never find after a certain point? at least 5 of them in the cupboard, 2 if they come in big packs.
John loves to spend time together with his sweet girl, he doesnt often have the time for it but when he does he loves to savour it. Loves Loves Loves being able to have you on his lap, a cigar in one hand, the other on your waist and a whiskey on the table next to his recliner. Memorizes your routine, if you have somewhere to be that you have to wake up for, he wakes you up, very gently. Kisses against your shoulder, traveling to your face. Kissing your cheek before turning you onto your back, just admires your relaxed face before he whispers your name. ASS!! GRABBER!!! grabs your ass, sure here n there he'll greet you with a gentle spank but he. grabs. ASS. He memorizes your coffee order too!! He may tease you a bit if it something like, 80% cream, 12% sugar and 8% coffee but still. sniffle snorgle so sorry for the long ask snifhghgrngr i love them. and i LOVE your blog, been following for a super long time, found you from pierro tags and just been obsessed. Take care of yourself okay?? MWAH (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
AHHHH THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS DARLING *MWUAH* I'm really glad you like my humble little blog so much and stick around for such a long time <3
I'm gonna go with omegaverse with these again bc I'm obsessed :<
And yes yes you're right!! Alpha Si is a silent lover but he's so expressive when he wants to be! If you're close enough you'll see all the little things; ticks, micro expressions even with the balaclava and/or mask, the little noises like chuffs or rumbles, everything! It's like a whole new world opens up and that's when makes being mated to Ghost beautiful <3
And he can be surprisingly clingy and touchy too! Definitely not right from the start but give him time and soon you'll have a 6'3 baby clinging onto you. What he may lack in verbal communication he compensates with physical affection and little noises; he will literally purr like an engine and make little chirrups in answer to your own as you nuzzle and preen each other in your nest.
Another thing about him are his surprisingly strong nesting instincts! He never really got to make a nest, or rather felt safe enough to do it. With his past, his father who always mocked him for nesting it never felt right until he got with you. Will take up the whole bed and literally roll in it so it's covered with his scent and pheromones and let out a pleased rumble when he finally deems his den good enough and safe before dumping you in it <3
Alpha!Price on the other hand loves quality time spent with you <3 He's much more verbal with you than Si and is quite touch himself in the privacy of his office or den, will always try and keep a hand on you and never let you out of his sight. He's the oldest of the alphas, much more mature and secure in his position as head alpha but will bellow and growl like crazy if he went out for a second out of the den to check up on something and upon returning he notices that you're not there anymore only for you to return from the bathroom confused what's all the commotion about.
Would never admit it out loud but he loves loves loves scenting you! Especially if you're on base with him. John has a strong masculine smell that screams 'ALPHA' in the most pleasant way; will make you go weak in the knees just from a whiff <3
Likes to rub on you when you're laying in your nest at night, his face shoved right into your scent glands and your delighted giggles bring him immense joy as he tickles you with his beard <3
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bro-atz · 5 months
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Would you ever consider a part 2 to the professor!yunho imagine? One where they’re hiding their relationship but maybe they almost get caught one day?
opticks
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in which: you and professor jeong yunho decided to continue your relationship secretly, only to almost get caught one day
pair: professor!yunho/afab!reader
word count: 4k
content: smut, teacher x student relationship (college level, so it's completely legal mind you), safe sex, professor kink?, choking, oral sex, bedroom sex, office sex, completely consensual!
author's note: anon, i originally was not going to do a part two since i wanted to make this a prof series w some of the other members but 1. prof yunho is hot as fuck and 2. my roommate and i were talking the student that ross dated in friends, so fuck it let's do this let's bring those forum girls back... also like tysm for waiting like if you forgot you asked this or assumed i deleted it i hope that reading this makes up for the wait/sadness (':
tag list: @k-hotchoisan @eyeryis @sinnarols apply for the permanent taglist here! network: @cromernet professor!series: yunho pt. 1, yunho pt. 2, san pt. 1, san pt. 2, yeosang, seonghwa
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post: i would absolutely love if prof jeong sat me on his lap in his office and bounced me on his dick. replies: 1: oh yes and then he sweeps all of his stuff off his desk and fucks me into the table → 2: girly you are unhinged 3: imagine if he stuck his fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet while he fucked you on his chair → op: that'd be fucking amazing 4. i'd rub myself against his thighs first ngl have you seen how muscular they are? → 1: fuck you're so right → op: rubbing myself on him until my panties are soaking wet is definitely something to think about... → 2: do y'all have wet dreams about prof jeong bc jesus → 4: as if you've never had any → 2: ...you're right okay moving on 2: guys but like... why do i feel like prof is in a relationship → 1: has he said anything??? → 2: no but like... the vibes are there → 1: IJBOL girl stfu what fucking vibes → 3: don't go breaking my heart → op: there's no way he is → 4: why do you say that? → op: have you seen his work sched?? → op: even getting office hours w him is impossible
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“Are you sure you’re not posting anything on the forum?” Yunho asked you. “Because, darling, if there’s anything you want me to do, you can just tell me to my face.”
You found yourself in Yunho’s office sitting on his thigh— you didn’t know how it came to be, but one second you were discussing a test with him, and the next you were actualizing what the girls in the forum were posting about. You clung to Yunho’s shoulders as you rubbed yourself along his clothed thigh, your panties getting wetter by the second. You glared at him slightly as you replied with a trembling voice, “Baby, I promise. None of those posts are mine. I’m only checking the forum because of you asked me to.”
“So you don’t have any perverted fantasies you want to fulfill with me?” there was a hint of a chuckle in his voice.
“You’re—” you sharply inhaled when you felt your clit brush against his thigh just right. “You’re the perverted one here, Yunho.”
“True, but,” Yunho dropped his voice as he gripped your waist tightly and pressed his lips against your ear as he spoke. “You have to be a little perverted, too, for you to agree to this.”
You wanted to retort, but Yunho pushed his thigh up the slightest bit and planted wet kisses on your neck, making you let out a breathy moan. His fingers slipped under your shirt and massaged your breasts over your bra before he said softly, “Get up and strip for me, darling.”
He left you with a sweet kiss before helping you stand on your trembling legs. You shed your clothes while Yunho unbuckled his belt and slid his own pants down before swiftly rolling a condom on. You were left in only your panties when Yunho reached out for you. You pushed your panties to the side and positioned his twitching cock at your entrance. You sighed blissfully as you felt his dick stretch you out and fill you up.
“The forum said that I should bounce you on my dick,” he whispered teasingly in your ear. “Do you want me to do that?”
“Yunho,” you moaned. “Fuck me however you want. I just need you to fuck me.”
“Anything you want, darling.”
With that, Yunho cupped his hands over your ass and started moving you up and down. You gripped his shoulders tightly and let out a slight whine as you buried your face in his neck and did your damn best to suppress your moans. You felt like he got bigger every time he pushed your waist down onto his lap, and you let out a loud moan when he jerked his hips upwards, your ass stinging with the impact.
Before you could let out another moan, you felt Yunho run his fingers through your hair and pull your head out of his neck. He gripped the roots of your hair tightly as he left a powerful kiss on your lips, your lower lip tingling as he sucked hard, electricity zapping through your nerves as he dove his tongue deep into your mouth. Passionate exhales left your lung between each kiss, and you felt Yunho smirk slightly against your lips. He pulled his head away and quickly replaced his invasive tongue with his slender fingers.
“Not so loud.”
“I ca—”
“If you stay quiet right now, I’ll take you home and fuck you tonight as well,” he offered an incentive with a low, dangerous tone.
Gulping, you nodded and proceeded to focus sucking on his fingers as his hips slammed up even harder. You squeezed your eyes shut and clung to him, your fingers raking through his hair and latching on when you felt his fingers go even further into your mouth.
“Fuck, I need more than this,” you heard the man hiss in your ear, nearly making you cum— you always got even more turned on when you heard the professor use profanities.
He quickly withdrew his fingers from your mouth and lifted you as he stood up. With one hand under your ass to support you, he used the other to sweep everything off his desk and lay you down flat. He went from his hands to his elbows as he pinned you down and fucked you so hard that the desk started creaking. You were worried that the desk would collapse under your weight, but that worry immediately vanished when Yunho’s fat cock brushed against your G-spot and hit your cervix. You bit your lower lip and did your best to muffle your cry of pleasure as you came, your entire body shaking.
“Oh fuck!” Yunho bit out.
You blinked tears from your eyes as you looked at him. His jaw was tense, and his eyes were dark. He yanked you towards him quickly, his waist slamming against yours once last time as a low, deep moan left his throat, his cum filling up the condom. He breathed heavily as he stayed inside you, his body hunching over yours, his head dropped. You reached up and pushed his hair out of his face, a soft smile appearing on his face and, subsequently, yours.
“Was that everything on the thread?” he asked you teasingly.
“You’re such a perv, Yunho.”
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post: so i stopped by prof jeong’s office during his office hours the other day but i wasn’t able to meet w him… his door was locked and i figured i’d come back later bc he prob had another student w him, but i lingered for a little in case his meeting ended and i swear i heard a girl moan his name and then there were also… other noises.
replies: 1: no fucking way. → op: i’m serious      → 3: what did the other noises sound like??           → op: like mac and cheese                → 3: THAT’S WHAT GOOD PUSSY SOUNDS LIKE HELP                → 1: WHAT THE FUCK???????                     → op: https://youtu.be/JBaHxFgmRdE
2: are you sure you weren’t just having a wet dream op? bc i seriously doubt it → op: no dude i swear this is real  → 2: did you see who it was then? → op: i tried waiting, but then i got a call and had to leave → 2: sure, yeah, "a call" stop lying
3: see guys i’m telling you professor jeong is in a relationship → 4: you should ask him then → 1: stop! no! prof is definitely not!
4: guys imma ask him if he is after his class this week. i’ll post and lyk what he says → 3: gl friend
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“Baby, look at this…” you said cautiously as you held your phone out for him to see.
You were sitting in his kitchen scrolling through the forum as he cooked dinner for the two of you— well, you already finished dinner, so he was doing the dishes while you sat and waited for him to finish up.
Yunho leaned over the counter to get a better look at your phone screen. He stifled a chuckle, a puff of air slipping out as he leaned back and continued washing the dishes.
“It’s not funny!” you exclaimed— you were seconds away from having a full blown panic attack. “What if we get caught?! Getting expelled is one thing, but these girls are going to actually assassinate me if they find out! I don’t want them coming for my head!”
With a small sigh, Yunho turned off the faucet and wiped his hands dry before walking around the countertop and sitting on a chair next to you. He brushed your hair out of your face and kissed your temple lightly.
“Don’t stress out about it. If you worry too much, then you’re more likely to get caught. Besides, they only seem to be interested in whether or not I’m in a relationship, so if I say that I’m not, then you’ll be safe,” Yunho said in a calming voice.
Your heart hurt slightly— you weren’t one to ask the “What are we?” question, but you did want to know how Yunho felt about you. Sure, he loved you and you loved him, but you hadn’t established any labels yet. You lowered your head and nodded, your eyes gazing at your lap.
You kept your head down as you felt Yunho slip your phone out of your grasp and set it aside. He then pulled you into his chest and hugged you while nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. You felt him exhale, the warm air hitting your exposed collarbones, sending shivers down your spine. You hugged him back and sighed as you melted into his embrace, the warmth of his skin and strength of his hold calming you down.
It was when Yunho licked your neck then planted wet kisses on your neck did your mind completely clear. All you could focus on was clinging to him as he lifted you up, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist. He carried you to his bedroom and laid you down gently, his lips moving from your neck to your jaw to your lips.
“Darling,” Yunho whispered breathlessly in between kisses. “We don’t have to have sex tonight if you don’t want to—”
“No, I do. Please, baby. Have your way with me,” you whined. “Fuck me until I’m screaming and crying.”
“Okay. Strip and lay down flat,” Yunho instructed as he sat up.
“Yes, professor.”
You watched Yunho visibly shiver as he got off the bed. He looked you dead in the eye, a dangerous glint in his eye. “So that’s how you want to play it today, huh?”
“Yes, professor,” you replied teasingly while holding his gaze, a playful smirk crossing your face.
Yunho nodded. He pointed at your clothes and gestured, re-instructing you to strip. Doing as he said, you took off all your clothes and laid flat on the bed. The position was definitely awkward, and you felt yourself get slightly embarrassed just laying there stark naked, but when you paid attention to Yunho’s movements, the embarrassment faded. You watched him absentmindedly pump his cock until it was rock hard and standing erect. He rolled the condom on while letting out a light exhale. You chewed on your lower lip as you stared him down while he approached the bed.
“Don’t bite your lip like that, darling,” Yunho whispered before kissing you. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep your lip tucked in like that.”
“Promise?”
Yunho had to stifle a giggle. He shook his head and regained his composure— truth be told, he didn’t like to be called professor, but when you called him professor in bed, it made him all sorts of horny. He wanted to go further with this kink tonight.
“Y/N, you’re a bad student, aren’t you?” Yunho asked as he knelt, his knees on either side of your waist.
“Yes, professor. I’ve been a very bad student,” you whispered and nodded. “Very bad.”
“You came during my office hours to seduce me, didn’t you?”
He trailed his finger from the center of your neck down your chest, his nail tracing under your boob. You shivered and pressed your lips together in a tight line, doing your best to not bite your lip. You gasped and let out a shuddering exhale when you felt his large hand rest over your ribs, his fingers pressing firmly into your skin.
“No, I wanted to go over my results for the last test because I didn’t do that well,” you murmured— it honestly was the truth because you did go to discuss test results and ended up fucking him in his office all because he asked you about the forum.
“You know the concepts that you were being tested on, Y/N. Did you intentionally fail as an excuse to be alone with me in my office?”
“No—”
“Or are you trying to fail so you can be in my class again next semester?”
“I— Oh, fuck!”
Yunho didn’t give you the chance to respond. Without warning, he shoved his cock into your wet pussy quickly and harshly, his cock filling you up. You moaned loudly and tried to move your legs, but he had a firm hold on your thighs, making you keep your legs flat on the bed. You grabbed his arms and dug your nails into the skin on his forearms as he moved without remorse, his cock sliding in and out of you at a fast rate that you were not anticipating.
When Yunho changed his angle slightly, you felt the length of his cock rub repeatedly against your clit, making you tremble all over. You attempted to reach down and rub your clit as well, your orgasm nearing, but before you could even graze down there with the pads of your fingers, Yunho grabbed your hand. He lowered his upper body and forced your hand to rest on his shoulder. You ended up clawing Yunho’s back when you felt his fingers wrap around your throat and press lightly, a gasp and whine leaving your lips.
“You want me to punish you, don’t you?” Yunho said in between grunts as his hips rammed his cock deep inside you. “That’s why you let yourself be heard. That’s why you let someone overhear us, right?”
“N-no, that’s not— Ah!” you cried when his hold on your neck got the slightest bit tighter.
“This act needs to be punished, you know that, right?” Yunho brought his lips to your ear, his voice deep and dark.
“Ye-es, Professor Jeong.”
“Good girl,” Yunho said sweetly, making your body flush with heat. He let go of your neck and pulled out before saying, “Hands and elbows. Now.”
Breathing deeply, you struggled to do ask he asked now that your blood was rushing back to your head. Yet, you managed flip yourself over as he ordered. Without so much as a warning, Yunho grabbed your ass with a tight grip and shoved into you once again, his strong hands pulling you back towards him while he thrust forward.
Yunho’s gyrations sped up when he bent over you, his chest pressing against your shoulders. His arms snaked around your body, and his fingers sought out your nipples. He pinched them tightly and twisted them while pulling down, earning a loud cry of pain mixed with pleasure. You only got louder when his entire hand gripped and massaged your breasts roughly.
“Yu-yunho— Fuck!”
You weren’t expecting the man to slap your ass. Yunho had moved back up and slapped your ass a second time before biting out, “It’s Professor Jeong to you.”
“P-professor, I’m gonna cum!”
Your voice shrilled as you began to see spots. Yunho pushed himself so far into you, his cock brushing against your cervix as his waist pressed right into your ass. You felt the wave of pleasure take over you and flung your head back, unable to bear the restriction of your orgasm. Yunho pulled out suddenly, and you squirted all over the bed, your entire body trembling.
Seeing your ass and thighs jiggle as you came uncontrollably was too much for Yunho. He barely let you finish properly before he shoved two of his fingers into you roughly, his curled fingers slipping in and out of you. He hit your G-spot several times, and you squirted again, this time all over his hand. However, that wasn’t enough for the man.
You were practically sobbing when you felt Yunho pull you up and over so that you were sitting in between his legs, his hot, throbbing cock pressing into your back. One hand on your breast, the other slithered in between your legs, his fingers re-entering you. He bit your shoulder and handled you with such force and strength that your brain completely melted. You came yet again when left the sloppiest kiss on your neck. You for sure thought that he was going to give you a second after that, but you were sorely mistaken.
Before you realized it, Yunho had you so that you were on your back again. He spread your thighs and pushed his face in between your legs, his nose brushing against your clit.
“P-professor, wait, slow down!” you cried as your fingers found their way to his hair.
You gripped and pulled the roots of his hair, trying your best to move the man away from your cunt. But, Yunho was an immovable force. No matter how much you cried and beg and pleaded, he remained right where he was, his tongue deep inside and violating you without remorse.
Right as you were nearing your nth climax of the night, you squeezed your thighs together, prompting Yunho to remove himself from your pussy. He rubbed two of his fingers against your clit quickly until you felt like your clit was going to catch on fire, and you came again. Your entire body convulsed, your grip on him gone as you ran your fingers through your own hair trying to cling to whatever remaining sanity you had left.
Tears blurred your vision as you cracked your eyes open to see Yunho preparing himself at your entrance.
“Wait!” you breathed out. “Give me a second! Please.”
“It wouldn’t be a punishment if I listened to you, darling,” Yunho stated as he kissed your tears away. “But, I’ll slow down if you really need me to.”
Yunho left sweet kisses on your lips, his eager cock twitching as it yearned to be inside you. However, he waited until you were ready for him. The two of you continued to make out, your hips unconsciously rolling into the sheets. Yunho felt you writhe below him, and without breaking your chain of kisses, he swiftly entered you again, but he kept the slow pace up.
You were the one to break away first. You moved your head to the side and guided Yunho’s head into your neck, silently requesting him to kiss your neck as he fucked you senseless again. Yunho did as you asked, and he left sloppy pink marks along your neck as he bucked his hips against yours. He had one hand hold your head while the other one guided your thigh upwards, your knee pressing in your breast as his thrusts got jerkier and harder.
Yunho was close. He pushed himself up and grabbed both of your legs, your legs resting his shoulders as he sat upright and rut himself into you at a fast, steady pace over and over again, your entire body shifting with every thrust. You nearly bit your lower lip, only to remember Yunho’s words from earlier that night, so you bit down on your knuckle as the man sped up.
“Shit, I’m cumming!” Yunho groaned, his cock still gliding in and out of you as it spasmed.
You felt him twitch several times inside you, his chest heaving as groans left his system. His hold on your legs weakened, allowing you to lower your legs and fully melt into the bed. You remained in said puddle even when Yunho got off the bed, threw out the condom, went to the kitchen, and returned with water. He helped you up and sat next to you, allowing you to lay your head on his chest. You sipped at the water and snuggled into his embrace further.
“How are you feeling?” Yunho asked gently as he brushed stray hairs away from your face.
“Fulfilled,” was the best word you could come up with to accurately describe your physical state.
“Good.”
You detected slight disappointment in his voice. You sat away from him to get a good look at his face as you asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Yunho smiled and shook his head.
“You don’t sound like nothing’s wrong. What is it?”
“…Are you sure you’re okay with us doing this? I don’t want you to feel scared to be with me,” Yunho whispered.
“As long as I’m with you, I’m not scared of anything,” you shook your head. “I love you, Yunho.”
A genuine smile crossed his face. “I love you, too,” he whispered happily as he hugged you closer to him, his hand running over your waist as he left a sweet kiss on your cheek. “I love you so much, Y/N.”
Take the glass of water out of your hands, he set it aside before lacing his fingers with yours, bringing the back of your hand to his lips. He rubbed calming circles into your hand, his head resting gently on top of yours as he continued, “I’ll always be here for you, so don’t let those forum girls scare you, okay? We won’t get caught. I promise.”
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“Alright, class dismissed!”
You watched Yunho from your seat in the classroom as you packed up and noticed a gaggle of girls heading right towards him. You watched the scene unfold as you continued to pack up your materials, the shrills of the girls’ voices reaching your ears.
“Professor Jeong!” the way the girls spoke to him made you want to tear your ears out, but you continued to listen anyway. “Are you seeing anyone?”
You choked on your own spit. You watched with wide eyes as Yunho calmly responded, his face unflinching as he answered their inquiry.
“That’s awfully direct,” Yunho said with a light chuckle.
“We just wanna know because we all keep arguing about it, that’s all,” another girl explained.
“I see… But, that is a very personal question, so I’m afraid I won’t be able to answer it. Maybe ask me questions about class?”
“Okay, then, when you teach, do you think about someone?”
“I’m not answering that either.”
“Please?!”
You quickly made your way down the lecture hall steps as the girls inched closer towards the man you loved, nearly cornering him.
“Professor, I have a question about the upcoming test,” you said as soon as you reached the podium.
“See,” Yunho pointed at you. “That’s a question I can answer. What is it?”
“I was wondering about these equations…”
You absentmindedly spoke as you watched the girls slink away, their heads bowed in defeat as they left the lecture hall, leaving you and Yunho in there alone.
“Thank you for that,” Yunho said with a sigh— apparently those questions the girls bombarded him with did a number on him.
“Okay, but now I wanna know,” you said quietly.
“Know what?”
“Are you seeing anyone?”
Yunho furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you, only for him to understand what you were implicitly asking.
“Of course I am,” he answered with a grin. “I’m seeing you, darling.”
“So would you say that we’re dating? We’re in a relationship?”
“Yes, Y/N, I would say that. You are my girlfriend.”
Your heart fluttered with happiness and relief. You let out a content sigh as you replied, “Then you’re my boyfriend, professor.”
“Don’t you dare, darling, or I’ll have to fuck you right here in the lecture hall.”
“Promise?”
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cafeinthemoon · 7 months
Text
Ever Dream (Apollo x reader)
Chapter 1/1
Wordcount 7,3k
Title Ever Dream
Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok
Symbols ✔ . 1️⃣ . 💛
Warnings: Apollo is extremely inconvenient in the beginning; angst with a soft, bittersweet ending
Tagging ? (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)
N. A. Finally I can fulfill my promise and post this little story with Apollo!
At first, he wasn't appealing to me at all, but as his character was developed, I found myself liking him (I basically understood that my lack of interest in him and his fight was due to me not moving on from Hades' loss, since snv doesn't feel the same for me anymore) Also his personality is a bit weird in this one bc I've started to write it before his flashback came out, and since I've wrote so much it would be a waste to restart my work to adjust his depiction to something more "pleasing", so I just kept things this way. But I hope you have fun with it :)
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“Come out, come out
Wherever you are [...]
Give in, give in for my touch
For my taste
For my lust”
(Nightwish, Ever Dream)
Summer days might be the favorites among the mortals, for they were long and favorable to the body and the heart, as a good presage for the ones who needed it, but that didn’t apply to you. Yes, as many, you appreciated cheerful encounters of friends under the shadow of a tree on a warmth afternoon, as well as playing games in the city’s lake with your sisters, but none of these small delights were enough to make you enjoy Summer above the other seasons. Honestly, you would be happier during Spring, when the beauty of the flowers would be in its apex, or during Winter, when you would stay long periods at home, in front of a good fire, with warm food and crafting to occupy your hands; even Autumn had a special place in your heart, with its meadows of red leaves and winds whispering mysterious tunes.
The thing is that you used to work as a gardener during Spring and Summer, and this latter was always the most difficult one, for the land where you lived was always too hot for any activity to be possible under midday sun, so you would adjust your routine to work at early morning or when the sunset approached.
It was a hard work: the plants would suffer with the heat, and you must know the right moment of the day to pour water in them, in order to not burn their roots; some of them would even become dusty with the lack of rain, only to be harmed after sudden, summer storms, and it would take an entire day for you to clean the fallen leaves, broken branches and garbage brought by the wind – not to speak about the mud; and, as if none of this wasn’t enough, you would have to fight against seasonal infestations.
It was a lonely work, also: there would be days when you would stay in silence for so long that hearing your own voice after going back home or speaking to yourself during work brought a sensation of strangeness. But you enjoyed the solitude, using it to perfect your abilities and organize your thoughts.
Some would say that you should start thinking seriously about your situation, that is, that you couldn’t live only for the plants and that you were already in the age of considering marriage, but you would just escape from their demands inside the labyrinths of the garden. Not that you would get angry with them, though. You understood their preoccupations, but you were aware of where they came from: they didn’t understand that happiness could have many sources in human life beyond building a family.
And, as long as your own happiness came from the garden, you would stay inside it.
***
If the humans who knew you were the only ones watching your steps with what you’d call an abnormal interest, you could deal with it. But fate wanted things to be complicated for you, so your peculiar, solitary routine hasn’t caught only the mortals’ attention.
It happened that, close to your garden’s location, upon a greenish hill, a temple was built centuries ago. A temple to honor the deity whose powers were always strong across those lands – Apollo, Son of Zeus and Guardian of the Sun, Master of Poetry and Music, and owner of more titles than you could remember. You’ve never seen him in person, though it was said that he used that building as his temporary residence on summer days, which explained the intense temperatures during that time of the year; it also explained why the lights of the temple would be fed until late hours and why there would be sound of chords, drums and high voices all day. You respected the work of the people living there, of course, but you’d appreciate a bit of silence during a period that was so difficult for you, and there you had another reason to show up only when the sun wasn’t shinning in all its splendor.
Little you knew that, from the highest spot of the temple, upon a parapet only accessible to himself, the Lord of that house, to whom all those honors were directed, has been observing that lonely, little mortal who would come every day to take care of her flowers with the same dedication as Heracles by the time he had to fulfill his twelve tasks.
He couldn’t remember when was the first time he saw you: the only thing he knew was that, while he stood at that temple, he couldn’t spend one day without seeing you. Every morning, before his worshipers woke up, Apollo would walk up the stairs that led to the private space where the highest balcony of the temple was, and he would sit at it, with his back leaning on a column, to witness the girl’s arrival and her preparations before work; he would stay there, watching in ecstatic silence as she separated her tools, touched each plant with those delicate fingers of hers, examined each spot of them and gave them the necessary treatment, smiling and, sometimes, mumbling to herself.
Not only he noticed your diligence and dedication, but it didn’t escape him how much you were beautiful. Yes, you were surrounded by appealing fruit trees, flowers of the most interesting shapes and shades, all of them between intricate green walls that only added in majesty, yet your figure caught the man’s eyes above all of them – eyes that were trained to not miss anything that could be pleasing to one’s sight.
The god would cheer at himself with the fact that you were oblivious to this, while he, at that height, was completely out of your sight. It was like in the old days, where he would observe the mortal realm from his spot at the Olympus, except that this time there would be no difficulties in reaching you: as one of the city’s inhabitants, you were basically his neighbor, and knowing that building like the palm of his hand, he knew the secret shortcuts that would lead him to your garden’s gates.
At first, Apollo would state that his morning observations were just a hobby, and that with all the work to keep him occupied at the temple and the attentions he would get from the worshipers – particularly from the priestesses – he would soon forget about you and your flowers. However, he wasn’t fool to the point of lying to himself for too long, and soon he would admit that he was interested in you. Well, he was already desiring you, in a way that didn’t happen since… a few centuries ago, maybe by the time of that temple’s inauguration, when he would lure some of the city’s mortals into it. And now, there he was, leaving the comfort of his bed every morning, sometimes even before the sun came up to greet him, for anything but to catch the exact moment when your feet stepped into that garden, wondering how your voice would send shivers all over his body in case you whispered in his ears with the same docility you did to the flowers, how soft your skin would feel if he caught your frail form between his arms, and the heat he would sense once his lips touched yours.
This extended for days, until he finally had enough.
That morning, he watched you as always, but this time something inside him awakened, and he just let his body move away from the parapet and reach for his private chambers, where he caught his best garments and a pair of golden sandals, and then wandered to outside the temple, to the narrow path behind the hill, covered in stones and sand, only known by himself, and in one minute or two, he was standing at the garden’s entry.
Today is the day. The day when I shall make you mine.
***
It should be a pacific, ordinary morning of work at the garden.
You arrived at the usual hour, reached for the spot of the garden where you started working the day before, separated your tools and went to take care of your tasks.
You’ve spent one hour, maybe two like this, so concentrated in what your were doing that the sudden rustling between the leaves somewhere behind you made you startle and drop your garden shears. You turned around…
And found quite a spectacle for that time of the day.
Coming out of a narrow space between two green walls, you saw a young man dressed in garments that you supposed to be only appropriate for the Summer Festivities, not so far in the land’s calendar: he had a white toga around his body, which hems and details appeared to be sewn with golden threads; golden were also the strappy sandals he had on his feet, as well as the laurel wreath on his head. The first rays of the sun reached the space between you at that hour, and the golden light poured itself over the man’s figure as the hug of a beloved one, revealing that the metallic ornaments he carried were, in fact, gold, and conceding a singular glimmer to his eyes, which you thought to be of the same shade. But that wasn’t the only peculiarity seen in his appearance: his hair, falling on straight strands to his waist, were of a soft pink that reminded you of some of the flowers in your garden, but a comparison wasn’t possible, since they were out of sight at that moment.
Yes, the visitor was a beautiful man, though eccentric, so your first thought was that he was the son of a noble family that came to the city to honor the god of the Sun at the temple beside your garden.
He’s probably thinking that the garden is part of the temple’s territory. I must clarify this mistake and lead him back through the right path.
And you were going to do that very thing, but he was faster.
Without waiting for an invitation or at least a question about his presence there, the man approached your spot and stopped in front of you, observing your tiny person surrounded by flowers and tools with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief: was this girl really engaging in physical work this early?, his eyes seemed to ask.
You stepped behind, closer to a bush of wild roses, but glanced over your shoulder before touching the thorns – something that made the stranger giggle. You didn’t like that at all.
The first words said between you were his.
– I’ve always said that wild roses were not my favorites, but the truth is that they’ve scared me and charmed me at the same time, and I just couldn’t deal with it – he stretched an arm to touch a spot above and behind you; not disguising the feeling that he was closer than a stranger should be, your eyes followed his movement and found his fingers reaching for a flower of the bush – A ridiculous mistake from an arrogant heart… – and, turning his golden eyes to you, – Don’t you think, my flower?
Your eyes widened, but you managed to control your mouth to not scoff at those words: you’ve been working at that garden for too long now, and from time to time there would be one and other man who would come to celebrate the Summer Festivities at Apollo’s temple, many of them from privileged houses… and about whom you’ve already had a clear opinion.
Let me see… Extravagant clothing at this time of the day, bad sense of direction, abnormally elevated self-confidence and no regard for personal space. Of course, another womanizer who relies on cheap flirting to win innocent hearts. He knows that this type of chatting only works when the speaker is young and beautiful like him, but things would be very different if we had an old, naughty man in his place.
You knew that, if you didn’t do anything to get rid of him, he would bother you for the rest of the morning, and you wouldn’t be able to complete the works of the day, but fortunately you also knew how to deal with this kind of situation, so you decided to act right now...
By moving aside and bending down to grab the garden shears that he made you drop. You stood up again and started removing the small, green leaves from its blades as you spoke.
– My Lord, I suppose you entered here by accident – you started; and, looking into his eyes, still with the shears’ blades up – Because, you see, despite the proximity, this garden doesn’t belong to Apollo’s temple. No festivities will happen here.
It was with a bit of diversion that you observed the bright smile fading from his pretty face, but you remained impassible, for you were aware that this one was an experienced gentleman and wouldn’t give up so easily.
And he didn’t.
– I must be indelicate and disagree with you, Miss – he moved his hand away from the flower, but, with an eye on your shears, he hid both hands behind his back – For a garden is a never-ending festivity itself, and the one that is going on right here owes all its beauty to the work of your hands.
You swallowed. He did have a way with words, then. But not even this would be enough for you to allow delays in your routine, and you made that very clear.
– If this is the case, my Lord, I must make use of the same indelicacy and interrupt our conversation here – in a swift move of your hands, the shears closed and opened twice with a metallic whisper – And keep working on the garden’s beauty.
And, without waiting for a response, you turned your back on the man and restarted to prune the bush with the roses, just as you were doing when he arrived.
Not even this was able to shake the young man’s confidence, for he just stepped aside and continued to talk, caressing the flowers at the same time. No irritation or offense was sensed in his tone.
– Then I must leave you to complete your mission – and, after a pause, – But I’m trapped here, and you’re the only one who can release me... by letting me know your name.
Your hands stopped and you turned to him again. You weren’t willing to reveal it to him, but if that was going to make him go away, you would do it.
– Y/n s/n.
The young man opened a satisfied smile. But, instead of saying his own name in return, he just stepped back and nodded.
– For this I will be forever grateful, my y/n. I will make sure that Apollo’s blessing falls over you and your work concerning this celebration of beauty.
And without waiting for a response, he turned away and left.
***
If only the Festivities in honor of the Lord of the Sun were shorter, or if your garden was located in somewhere else, the strange events of yesterday involving that extravagant individual would be just a funny story to remember in an encounter between your friends, or even something you would forget after a week.
But, unfortunately, things don’t always go as we plan, so to your surprise – and exasperation – the situation happened again in the next day.
You were pouring water on the soil, in a spot of the garden not so far from the one where your first encounter happened, having only the sounds of the water falling from the can and the early birds singing on the trees as your company, when the rustling noise of indiscreet steps upon the grass caught your attention.
You turned around… and found the shinning figure of the young man smiling at you, his right hand leaning on the tree at his side, his golden eyes upon you with the same enthusiasm of the last day.
You bit your lip.
I can’t believe it. Did he forget everything that happened yesterday?
If he noticed your displease or if he chosen to ignore it, you didn’t know, but he started a casual conversation without waiting for an invitation.
– Good morning, dear y/n! – he left his spot beside the tree and walked toward you with no sign of embarrassment – As I can see, the festivities continue today.
You just gave him a silent nod in reply. The man’s smile widened in contentment.
– That’s good to hear, for today I bring you something that you might appreciate…
Only then you noticed the object he was carrying on his left hand: a bracelet made of gold, in the shape of a vine and with a white gem in its center, with rays surrounding it as an imitation of the sun. You looked at the object and hesitated.
– My Lord, it is not…
But when the words were still crossing your lips, you felt a strong hand holding your wrist and pulling it forward, making you drop the watering can; before you did anything, the man put the bracelet around your wrist and spent a moment admiring it, with your tiny hand between his.
You even tried to pull it back, but the he held you in place. You swallowed.
Heavens, his appearance is the most deceiving thing I’ve ever seen! I don’t know many soldiers who possess this strength!
Because of this, you understood that you might have been in danger since the other day, so that time you kept your mouth shut and waited to see what his next step would be.
And you didn’t know if you should feel relieved or shocked when you found it out.
– Now you were granted the necessary permission, my dear – he spoke with softness; and, pulling you closer to whisper in your ear, – The way to the Summer Festivities has opened to you at the Temple of the Great Apollo.
You had no time to respond, to move away or to show any form of refusal. The man, still holding your hand, pulled you with him and started running between the green walls and trees, rushing toward the depths of the garden and not allowing you to stop.
You glanced behind and your heart ached when you saw your work unfinished and the watering can forgotten on the spot it fell, the remaining water leaking and soaking the soil.
***
The path through which he led you, as well as the environment you found when you entered the temple was what you would sense in a dream: in one moment, he was carrying you by the hand through the green labyrinth, in a pace that defied time; in the next one, you were inside high walls of white, imposing columns with marble flowers surrounding them from their highest to their lowest spot, and countless tables of gold with goblets, jars and trays full of fruits, sweets and other tempting treats that were taken by uninhibited, joyful people dressed in flowing fabrics and barefoot, running, hopping and dancing between themselves to the frenetic sound of chords, flutes and drums. The place was a mixture of sounds, colors and smells that confused and numbed your senses, in a way that you were only able to stand thanks to the strong hold of the young man.
Despite that, you still noticed how strange was that those people seemed to move to the music as if they were just one, yet they acted like they weren’t seeing each other, lost in their particular world, to the point you wondered if they knew what they were doing or if they were just caught under a spell.
Are they really happy, or are they forced into this? It’s unsettling...
The people only showed a believable reaction when you arrived… Well, actually, when they put their eyes on the young man, and started reaching for him with no regard for your presence, pushing, bumping and even stepping upon your feet.
In a way you couldn’t understand, he opened his arms wide to receive them without letting go of your hand, with a satisfied smile on his face that seemed to light up when the first rays of sunshine entered the place, embracing him with the same passion as the people around.
It was when a thought crossed your mind as fast as those rays, and you stared at him with a knot in your stomach.
Could it be that he…?
The chorus around you, chanting the same words in delight, was the confirmation for it.
– Apollo! Apollo-sama! You finally arrived, Apollo-sama! Please don’t make us wait this long for you again, Apollo-sama!
His face brightened up with the call of the humans, as if it absorbed their joy and turned it into vital force, returning it to them with the warmth of the sun; to them, he was god, father, husband and master, and he was more than happy in taking all those roles for himself, in what you saw as a hungry, even predatory way. Though you still found it a beautiful thing to observe, you no longer saw any resemblance with a man in his figure.
He was something else.
Feeding himself with their energies and keeping them gravitating around him is like a diversion to him. How scary.
And with the same diversion, he pulled you to a tight embrace, giving you no choice to walk away, for many people came to him and were no dismissed, so that you were trapped between him and them, and you didn’t know for how long you would be able to breathe.
Somehow, he managed to walk among his worshipers and take you with him before you in fact were smothered, and without decreasing in enthusiasm, he looked around and chanted:
– My children, my flowers! Another day of Summer came to bless you! Enjoy it, cherish it like it’s your last!
Immediately, the people obeyed him and, as if slowly forgetting about his very presence, restarted the celebration, dancing and jumping around and opening the way for you two at the same time, not really realizing what they were doing.
Not wanting to join them and not being able to release yourself from Apollo’s grip, you had no choice but to follow him.
***
You walked up spiral, white stairs with golden banisters, ran through a corridor and ended up in front of an enormous pair of doors, which he opened with a slight touch of his hand.
They revealed a wide room that, even in your lack of experience in these matters, you knew to be worthy of a god: everywhere you looked, you saw comfortable chairs and couches, covered with satin sheets and surrounded by trays of sweets and fruits, and countless jars of wine; there was also a small fountain pouring water, with a jar and cups around it. You also saw books, parchments and musical instruments ready to be used. Everything there was arranged to display beauty and pleasure, as expected from its owner.
Once you stepped inside, you heard the sound of the keys turning to lock the doors from inside and shivered.
– My y/n, will you follow me to the balcony? – Apollo passed to your side – There’s something I need to reveal to you, but it has to be in an appropriate place!
And, without waiting for your response, he tightened his grip around your wrist and pulled you across the room, to reach the said balcony.
You passed under an arc with a pair of curtains of a peach shade and found yourself in a place that could serve as a common room of a human house by its largeness, except for the fact that it was uncovered; on it, there was wine, fod and water as well, and a couch twice the size of the ones inside the room, yet none of those objects interfered while you walked among them.
Apollo stopped at the parapet with you by his side. With his arm stretched over it, he indicated the entire view.
– Let your pretty eyes enjoy what’s in front of them with no shame, my dear – he laughed – Trust me, the view of your lands from the Olympus is no match for this!
And you were, in fact, impressed with what you saw.
From there, you were able to spot various things, from the mountains that surrounded the city, passing through the town itself, with its marketplace and daily movement, to nearer places… such as your garden, its open fields and the very spot where you were working this morning when Apollo arrived and abducted you.
Your face burned with the thought.
He has been spying on me from here? Since when…?
You never had the opportunity to inquire him on this, because he had no shame in telling you the whole story.
– Since this Summer started, though I cannot precise the day, I’ve been trapped in this balcony, just as I am now – he turned to you with a strange glimmer in his eyes; you sensed his hand letting go of your wrist and wrapping itself around your waist, bringing you closer as he spoke – I’ve been trapped by you, my flower, for I couldn’t spent one morning without seeing you from here, cherishing with your whole figure, your steps, the work of your hands, all for your precious garden…
You put your hands between you and him, in an attempt to prevent him from approaching even more.
– My Lord, with all the respect, this is my work – you managed to speak – I would never be able to properly take care of a garden if I refused to pour my heart into it…
The god’s response was to widen his already present smile, giving to it a hint of something that would be called presumption if he was a mortal man.
– I know it! I know well how these things work, and for this I am jealous – he caressed your face for an instant, his eyes swallowing each traits of yours with greed – I am jealous of your flowers, of your trees, and everything that has been blessed by the touch of your hands…
You gasped.
– My Lord, I think this is going too fa…
Your words were cut off by his next act, which consisted in wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the floor, taking you to the couch you saw before, not so far from your spot on the parapet. There he sat you down, then knelt to take off your sandals – of course, without missing the chance to let his fingertips wander through your feet and legs. With no visible ways to escape this situation, you could only observe the scene in silence.
The door is locked, I don’t think I could open it as fast as he closed it, he’s too strong for me to put a physical fight and is too lost in his own fantasies to hear a word I say. I see no solution besides climbing up the parapet and jump.
While this thought was still crossing your mind (and your eyes glancing at the parapet), Apollo was already climbing the couch. You tried to move away, but he was faster: holding your jawline, he pulled you close to him, his lips brushing yours as he spoke.
– I beg you, my little flower… stop making me jealous… pour your heart to me… be mine…
You opened your mouth to speak, to reply, to try and reason with him one last time, to ask for his divine favor and beg him to let you go, but Apollo didn’t even give you the time to breathe: convinced that actions would teach you better than words, he covered your mouth with hungry kisses, his tongue reaching for yours in a hurry, his hands grabbing your body with voracity. With the lack of air, your lungs started to burn and your eyes got filled with tears.
Your hands, still free, pulled him away by his chin; he stared at you in incredulity.
– Please… my Lord… – you forced your words out, alternating them with gasps – Please… reconsider…
For the first time, Apollo seemed to have his patience tested, and the slight twist in the color of his eyes instilled fear in your heart like you’ve never felt before.
– Too late to think, my y/n… It’s time to act.
He pushed himself upon you on the couch and a second kiss happened, longer and hotter. Now that your attempt to stop him failed, desperation was taking over you, leaving you with two choices: letting him continue or dying for opposing to a god’s will.
The latter seemed less painful for you, so you opted for it.
Beside the couch, just like the other seats at that room, there was a small table with a metallic jar on it; you glanced at it when Apollo let go of your mouth and brought his kisses to your neck, and supposed that it was full. An idea came to you, but you had to be careful.
If I fail at this, it’s over for me.
With slow movements, you managed to bring your body closer to the table’s side, taking the god with you, leaving him too occupied in his caresses to notice anything around. You even reciprocated some of his touches to disguise your nervousness, and waited until you were sure that your hand would reach the jar’s wing.
When the moment came, you stretched your left arm… and your fingers closed around its wing, lifting it from the table with all the strength you could find.
Everything happened too fast for your eyes to follow: catching him in a surprise was your only and greatest advantage, and you managed to do it. The jar flew from the table and hit Apollo’s head, forcing him away from you and dropping the laurel wreath from his hair; confirming your prediction, the jar was full, and the water spread all over the place as the metal clanged against the floor.
You wasted no time: you dragged your body out of the couch and fled the balcony, leaving your sandals and a paralyzed, dismayed Apollo behind. You crossed the room like a ray and somehow unlocked the door easily despite your shaking hands; not only this, but you had the nerve to take the key with you and lock the door from outside to slow the man who would certainly come after you.
***
Your feet barely touched the stairs while you walked down. Behind your back, there was still silence, but you knew it wouldn’t take long until Apollo reached the door and found a way to open it, so you wouldn’t stay to see what was going to happen.
You soon were back to the wide room where his worshipers were celebrating, and it was with no surprise that you found them as happy as before, and that, as you joined the crowd to reach the exit, they barely remembered you. Still, you couldn’t help finding it scary to be squeezed and pushed to all sides by those strangers, who screamed, sang and danced with no regard for each other and for themselves, as victims of a sinister spell.
***
The image of you running away from him was the most terrifying of the nightmares.
Apollo could have ran after you, grabbed you and pulled you back to the balcony. He could have also stretched his hand toward you and used his golden threads to wrap your body and force you to stay, to submit to him. He even managed to raise his hand while you turned your back to him and moved away, passing under the arc that separated the balcony to the rest of the room… but he didn’t do anything.
He just stood there, paralyzed by the surprise with your reaction and the resulting dizziness in his head, his vision darkening as he came to the shameful conclusion.
What I did… there was nothing beautiful about it.
***
The sun was higher in the sky when he regained his consciousness and left the balcony. It must have been one hour or two, judging by its position now – long enough for the effects of the strike to diminish. His head hurt so much that he was sure he would be dead if he was human.
He left the balcony and passed by a mirror, not so far from its entry. He spotted the bruise on his forehead and flinched: it was darker, deeper than he first imagined. Not that he should be worried about having a permanent scar, of course, but it would ache for days.
The god crossed the silent room and stopped by the doors. One look to the lock and he noticed the absence of the key; the shadow of a smile came to his lips.
Clever girl. Trying to slow me down.
He raised his left hand and, working with his golden threads, he involved the doors and pushed them out of their hinges, destroying both with a thunderous sound. He walked out of the room in firm steps, the wreckage cracking under his golden sandals as he approached the stairs and walked them down.
In a minute, he has reached the first floor, where his worshipers continued to celebrate, yet this time a wave of uneasiness has spread silently among them, clearly provoked by the sound of wrecking materials upon there.
Of course, he was eager to leave and start chasing after you, but he was empathetic with the ones who were there just to love him, and made sure they were all calmed down by his words; with this, they were free to go back to their worshiping, knowing that their Lord would be back in a few moments.
He left the temple and rushed to the garden, as his feet were led by instinct to the place that first connected you, but it was with no surprise that he saw you weren’t there; you didn’t even use the garden as escape route. Still, his heart didn’t ache less with the sight of your tools on the soil, and your flowers abandoned, for they meant only one thing.
Not only you were gone, but you weren’t coming back.
***
Autumn came sooner to those lands that year.
The Temple of the Sun closed its gates long before the last week of Summer, and the worshipers returned to their homes with a strange weight in their hearts; it was clear that their god wasn’t content, but the reason was only known by himself, and perhaps as an act of mercy, he protected them from his wrath by sending them away, assuring them of their innocence and promising a warmer season of festivities for the next year.
The days quickly became short, and the winds of the new season were colder than they were in the previous years; the city’s inhabitants were caught in a surprise, and even feared what Winter has reserved for them. The streets were empty, the markets saw their clientele grow thin, the richest traveled to distant lands and the common people were hidden inside their houses. In the wild, the beasts and the small creatures were sharing the same difficulties, and just as it happened with the humans, there was no guarantee that they would make it through the longer period of cold.
Apollo, on his turn, stood in that house alone, instead of traveling back to his place and his divine fellows at the Olympus: he missed their company, but had no strength to face them after the ugliness he created; it has been a monstrosity and a shame, and this was something he must endure all by himself. And so he did it, spending his days and nights wandering among the cold walls of marble, inside which the sound of chords, voices of adoration and the wine being poured in the goblets wouldn’t be heard, and the echo of his own steps were his only partner; the fires lightened by his followers stopped making him warm even before they turned into smoke and cinders, the sweetness of their incense made him sick and the golden altars and objects of devotion turned gray to his eyes.
All because of what he did to you. Because in his eagerness to make you stay, he ended up scaring you away, and the sun that should have kept you content and safe almost burned you to death. How, he asked himself, how did he deprive love from its natural beauty, he who lived to exalt the beautiful? But silence was the only thing to reply.
***
Apollo visited your garden every morning, staying there for a while before returning to his temple and to his dark meditations. Protecting his physical form from the cold with a gray cloak, he wandered through the natural walls that were once green, but now had only brown and red to offer to his sight; the grass was now a shadow of what they were, just dried vegetation that would crack and whiter under his feet, and the flowers came undone to the touch of his fingers.
Many times he passed by the spot where he abducted you, and tears would fill his eyes as he looked at the watering can and the tools rotten on the cold soil, useless after so long time without executing their functions. One morning, he even considered touching them, but when he approached his hand no remnants of your spirit could be sensed in them, and he moved away.
Well, your presence just vanished from the garden itself, and even from the town: sometimes, he would disguise himself among the mortals and seek for your face in the corners of the streets, but he knew the search was worthless. You were long gone.
Actually, you left and hid on the other side of the land, and even your acquaintances haven’t heard about you since Autumn began. But even you couldn’t deny that the season was less merciful that year… and it didn’t take long for you to realize it had something to do with the episode at Apollo’s House. Maybe he couldn’t accept that a mortal woman defied him, and decided to punish her entire land in return; or maybe he just decided to leave sooner, and with him Summer has left. It was hard to be sure when it came to the gods.
However, as much as you weren’t willing to try and seek for his favor against your will in order to save the people of the city, innocent and defenseless against Nature, your heart has been yearning for your garden, your true house, where your happiness and strength and life purpose were. You’ve been struggling to stay in your hideout and wait until the god’s wrath was over, but you just couldn’t take it anymore.
One morning, despite the cold and the adversities, you dressed up and traveled back there. You had no idea of what you were going to find once you stepped into your beloved garden, and a thousand nightmares haunted you while you were on your way, and the times when you thought of giving up and return to the hideout weren’t few…
But all of this noise disappeared when you found yourself, in fact, standing before the garden’s gates. A breeze passed by you at that moment, coming from inside the garden, and sent a chill through your body – a chill that reached your heart.
You forced your feet to move ahead.
As you walked, farther from the entry and closer to the depths of the garden, you noticed that the sensation of loneliness that you were anticipating didn’t come. Yes, the flowers were dead, the grass was dry and the birds disappeared from the trees, but you had this strange feeling telling you that you weren’t the only living being wandering among the reddish vegetation.
A sudden instinct led your feet to the very place where your watering can and shears were left the day you were taken away by Apollo. Were they in the same place, still waiting for your return? You’d only know if you reached there.
And you did. And they were there. Covered in dirt, dead leaves and ivy.
But they weren’t alone. Someone was watching them in silence, standing among the desolation as if they were just a part of it that was waiting for you to come back as well.
And, perhaps, they were, for when they turned to you, your heart dropped.
It was him. It was him, there was no way for you to be mistaken.
The golden bright in his eyes has faded away, and so was his smile. The pink of his hair was no longer glowing, and the paleness on his skin was unsettling. He was still the god of the Sun, but the Sun just settled.
Suddenly, you were scared. What if he was there waiting to cease your existence in revenge? What if that was just a vision to deceive you, and you were now in a new trap, from which you had no chance to escape like the first one?
You tried to move your feet, but they wouldn’t obey you. Your heart ached inside you, and your eyes were getting filled with tears.
Is this how I’m going to die, then?
Apollo left his spot and walked toward you. He was still silent, but no sign of his intentions could be sensed, and you were too scared to try and guess them. Still, something wasn’t right – and when you finally had the courage to look straight to his face, you understood what it was.
From his eyes you saw tears rolling. And in his expression there was only room for incredulity and pain. It was when you knew: it wasn’t a vision; it was really him. And he couldn’t believe you were there.
Apollo stopped before you and you flinched, not knowing what to expect. You shut your eyes tight… and no touch, no extravagances nor punishment came.
You opened them again and found the proud god kneeling on the dirt soil, taking his cloak from his shoulders and leaving it beside him on the ground, his eyes glued on you all the time, as if you could disappear at the slightest distraction.
You didn’t know how long you stood like this, having only the winds to voice your anguish, but the silence became unbearable, and you opened your mouth to speak – but, as always, he was faster.
– Forgive me.
Two words only, but enough to shake your spirit and think of how strange reality could become. A god apologizing? When would you imagine such a thing?
– Forgive me, my flower – he repeated, since you stood quiet – For those things I’ve done weren’t but terrifying.
He stretched his hand to touch your clothes, but gave up on the gesture as to prove his feeling of shame.
Again, your heart ached, and your mouth dried out. You couldn’t just stand there with no reaction, no word, after traveling for so long to reunite with your beloved garden. But you didn’t know what to do or what would be right, so you just let your body decide.
You knelt on the soil too, before the astonished god, and didn’t try to stop yourself when you saw your arms throwing themselves around him, your head resting on his shoulder, and your skin shivering to the warmth of that embrace. You should be scared, you should be aware of any spell working at that very moment, you should be disgusted to see him there – but you weren’t.
– Yes, Apollo-sama – you murmured, not recognizing your own voice – They were terrifying. But I’m no longer scared.
And that was true. All your fear was leaving. And with the first signs that the Autumn was going away with it, you were strangely in peace.
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fumifooms · 8 months
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Marchil crumbs masterpost
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Because I can and I will. Someone already made a tiny one way back but I lost it idk if it was here or on reddit… And we’re so small that we have no tag… I can’t credit you sorry marchil warrior you are not forgotten. I’ll definitely updating this whenever I find a new crumb. We’ve already reached the 30 pics cap part 2 coming soon. They do interact a ton I suppose. As always it’s not because I put moments on here that I’m saying they’re inherently romantic blablabla.
Part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5 - part 6 - part 7
My vision: Unstoppable force vs immovable object. Corrupt (money) bitter divorcee and corrupt (magic) hopeless romantic. Emotional constipation vs emotional intelligence. Streets savvy vs prestigious academic. Girl with the longest lifespan possible who has trauma over loss x guy with the shortest lifespan who has trauma over past romance. They would take their romantic interest to the fricking grave.  Halfling vs elf. Emotionally distant vs clingy and needy… Not that Chilchuck doesn’t seek her attention plenty ngl. By all means they are so incompatible and yet their dynamic is so delightful, opposites certainly do attract if Kui’s to be believed because these two constantly drift towards each other.
To me they're the embodiment of "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known". Oh actually that'd apply to Laios and Dunmeshi as a whole as well-
She’s his worst nightmare. Opening up to someone?? The audacity to ask that of him. She raises his blood pressure to dangerous levels. He would risk his life for her.
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HIS WORST NIGHTMARE (what he needs). She's classified as a friend who won’t shut up btw Notice how on the dating sim chapter cover, the clicky hand is always on the choice he ended up choosing in canon except for two, Falin’s and Marcille’s. Meaning he may have hesitated on it, on telling her she was pretty? She’s front and center~
It’s notable that Marcille is the main victim of his teasing, he criticizes Laios and everyone plenty but teasing is done much more towards her than anyone else, and we can see that it is something he enjoys. Perhaps one of the things that put him in a good mood the most, besides alcohol and laughing at others in general lol. Here’s a post compiling a lot of that teasing: link
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He often confronts her about things and teases/insults her but it's always without any real animosity, sometimes having problems with her actions but never disliking her.
She craves his approval? More likely than you think.
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Chilchuck having a sparkly flustered Marcille on his mind and failing to pull her ponytail so she'd give him her attention the right way, then being devastated when she claps back lol. For as much as he teases her, she’s very much able to stand up for herself when it goes too far and to challenge him on some flaws he may have.
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Marcille’s canon shapeshifter of Chilchuck is the most convincing one/last one standing! In which he was nicer because Marcille still had some trouble not seeing him as young and thus innocent. Which besides the whole age thing, her having an accurate but nicer version of Chilchuck in her mind is pretty flattering lol
In the earlier chapters they stick by each other the most, often sharing knowing glances and judging the other together. They share this complicity and "wow finally someone sane in this party" energy that none of the others have in quite that way. Comrades in disgust.
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He cannot escape her gossip, she will not rest until she knows all and has met his family and romanticized his life and relationships. She’s the one who pushes Chilchuck to be more open about himself the most. Which, we do also see her being jealous when Chilchuck opens up more to others instead of her, like pic below. Moreover, we see that she’s able to read him like a book to the point that it freaks him out!! Oh the horror of being known… Relationship goals, freak him out bc you understand him so well Oh can I just point out as well that they're the only ones who saw each other's succubus. Like wow knowing each other's most alluring form? Dayum
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When doing her theory about what happened between him and his wife, the pictures where her roleplaying as his wife, like literally with her being a half-foot like in the changeling chapters and the mini chilchuck for a baby lmaooo. Which I just now realized that means Marcille’s question about if his wife has blonde hair is valid, we technically don’t know if he already liked blondes or if it’s an acquired taste. Give me a sec to recover from that-
But yeah Marcille is so people-obsessed that she catalogues every little detail about someone, like how Chilchuck complains when he has to wait after someone… She notices things and takes them in stride even if they’re flaws. (In first page, it's the bottom row middle panel)
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She wanted to sleep in his bed when Izutsumi was being clingy and she didn't want to sleep alone <3
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Here he goes to her to either help her stay upright or comfort her… Uncharacteristic of him but very sweet. What are you gonna do if she collapses on you big guy, collapse along in a show of solidarity?
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He's been shown to make sure Marcille stays safe a few times as well, like below. No I will not accept "she's the healer of the party" as a full explanation. He really does get an arc, from not wanting to be anywhere near the battlefield to sticking by his party members. Unlike Laios, Senshi and Izutsumi they both tend to hang in the back in battles, I love how they often strategize together as well.
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The reverse is also sometimes true. Especially with how non-shy Marcille is with physical contact, interestingly she's way less delicate about saving others than him lol.
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He’s the only one shown to flinch when she makes a noisein the bath which leads me to think he’s the one most flustered by the whole Marcille changing and bathing close by thing, it prob doesn’t help that he has great hearing but yeah, he seems to be hyperaware of her presence in those instances and overreacts.
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"Come with me and braid my hair every day!" Meanwhile Chilchuck is fighting for his life holding her at an arm’s length
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I can’t believe this is on his ADVENTURER’S BIBLE DESCRIPTION like that thing is one big paragraph about his whole character and you allotted that important limited space for this. Kui do you hear yourself
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Part 2 here
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leviismybby · 7 months
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Tw: rant about ship wars under the cut!!!
Now that attack on titan is over, can we stop with the ship wars about Levi?? I thought that people would leave one another alone esp since the final instead all I see on twitter is toxic shipper wars and the old debate of "who did Levi Ackerman love romantically in canon?"
That is not what pissed me off since that has been going on for years, what pisssed me off is people sending direct HATE at Isayama and the Mappa team because of a ship they deluded themselves into thinking it's canon. I can count on my fingers how many people said that Isayama was "queerbaiting". Seriously people GET A GRIP.
TikTok isn't better in this either, all I see all the fucking time is Eruri and Levihan shippers down each other throats for no other reason than the fact that both parties have somehow convinced themselves that their ship is canon. Even worse is the fact that people on there are spoiled so much that they send hate to oc x characters or slefships, y'all need help. When someone doesn't ship with anyone, you all attack them with "proof" and subtext or whatever it is and call them delusional, talk about irony...
Next point. If I see one more person hate on either Erwin or Hange because of the ships, I will rip someone's hair out. It is not either of the character's fault and you hating on a character because of your fanon ship is nothing but stupid. Characters should never get hate bc of ships, esp not FANON ones. And don't even get me started on the hate Petra gets because of it all.
And finally, Levi isn't your tool and his worth doesn't lay in your fucking ship. All the time all I see when Levi is shipped with either is just Levi being so degraded. It makes me uncomfortable and it butchers Levi's character so much.
Why does it matter what his sexuality is?? Why does it matter if he is a sub or a dom??? None of these things are important about Levi. It's like he has become this puppet in this play you all are playing and you all are making Levi's worth based off of your ship. Of course this doesn't apply to all shippers, just those who are toxic and let themselves hate people bc of a ship...
Stop with this bullshit and ship in peace. You don't like Levihan, Eruri, whoever block the tags and move on ffs. At the end of the day Levi doesn't have a canonical love interest and its totally okay to ship your ship and admit that they aren't canon. Stop bullying each other and other people on the internet over factional ships.
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cosmereplay · 6 months
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Poll for current, former, or future Stormlight fanartists!
It seems that many fanartists (and even artists who make canon Stormlight art) go through a period where they've assumed that the characters are basically Fantasy White, and then there's a period of relearning what the characters look like from WoBs or other sources, and maybe even having to learn how to draw epicanthic folds and different skin tones. Judging by the stormlight tag, it's a big learning curve for a lot of people, and I'm curious what that curve is like for artists!
Since tumblr polls are anonymous, please be honest what it's been like for you as a current, former, or future Stormlight fanartist:
If none of these apply, hit reblog, then stick another copy in your drafts to see the results next week!
Please note this isn't the place to complain about whitewashed fanart (though Ash knows we also need that, just elsewhere, not here). This is specifically about the experiences of artists, and at the same time raising awareness of the features of these canonical fantasy ethnicities.
If you're an artist and you'd like to share about your own learning curve in the replies, notes, or privately via DM, go ahead!
And if this doesn't end up with at least 50% in the yeses then I'm throwing it out for self-selection bias😂😂😂
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gorochuva · 2 months
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My @magireco-minibang story that I actually posted the first 3 chapters of yesterday bc timezones or w/ever and bc this is gonna be a long ride
***
Pairings Featured
Main: none
Sub: Kaname Madoka & Tamaki Iroha, Akino Kaede/Minami Rena, Futaba Sana/Isuzu Ren, Akemi Homura/Aki Mabayu
Genre/Tags
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Ending, What-If, Hypothetical Character Development, Musical References
Major Characters
Tamaki Iroha, Kyubey, Kaname Madoka, Akemi Homura, Nanami Yachiyo, Other Character Tags to be Added
Rating
Teen and Up Audiences
Potential Warnings
No Archive Warnings Apply
Summary:
"Kyubey, I have some questions about the wish you supposedly granted for me when I became a Magical Girl." What if Ui Tamaki didn't exist? What would be the truth behind Iroha's wish? As it turns out, a few simple words at the right time changed everything...
"I wish you could understand how they felt!"
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xbruised-peachx · 9 months
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since you are staring to like fender do you have any headcanons for him 👀
SO, the problem I'm having is I actually know very little about Hungary, so often with my headcanons, I try to also make them accurate for someone who is actually that nationality. Unfortunately I don't know anyone from Hungary to ask either so unlike Gromsko, mine are gonna probably have some inaccuracies and I do apologize and they may seem a lil standard but, I'll give em a shot bc there is so lil content abt Fender anyway!
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Fender Headcanons
Tags: none actually! these are just general headcanons that could be applied anywhere :)
Let's start with one that's basically canon you can't convince me otherwise; His call sign is Fender, the guitar brand, he has multiple lines referring to music ("Now we're jamming!" "Shows over!" "Get the fuck off my stage..." "Very rock and roll 🤔" "Let's get the band together!" etc.), and his voice actor can sing really well. He is definitely a musician of some sort and strikes me as a metal head for sure. Some of his favorites are System of a Down, Slayer, and Avenged Sevenfold.
His bio states he was father was a CIA op and mother was a "guerrilla revolutionary" in communist Budapest. Communism ended in Hungary around end of 1989, so at the youngest, he's 33 since the game takes place at the end of 2022.
With his father dying when he was young, he's definitely a mama's boy. However he also give off eldest sibling energy so I think he has a few younger half-siblings. He also has daddy issues, sorry that's canon.
He is definitely a gym rat with that gym skin he got April. But I want to combine it with the Mtn. Dew skin because he's gremlin coded and yeah no, he's combined his pre-workout powder with Mtn Dew and swears he saw God while using a stair climber.
He's had his tooth gap since his adult teeth first started coming in, but he absolutely despised the dentist. Being his mom's first child, and just generally not growing up in the most wealthy household, he managed to convince her he didn't really need an orthodontist or braces. Hence, his cute lil smile he has now.
In general, he's very confident in his abilities, a little abrasive but charming in his own way. He will always remain friendly at first until wronged. He got bullied as a kid so he does have his guard up and it takes a bit to truly gain his trust. He also is a bit hot headed and will stay angry for quite a few hours.
He will often use the fact he's half American as a joke... a lot. He says that's why he loves Mtn Dew, why he learned English so early in his life despite his dad already being gone, and that he definitely got his love for explosives from his dad's side of the family.
He's not super patriotic though for Hungary. He likes his home country but doesn't quite like speaking Hungarian around the others in Kortac knowing they won't understand him. Only rarely will they catch him talking under his breath to himself or when he's startled in battle (example, "VIGYÁZZ!").
He will however, cuss someone out in his language. There are no holes barred there, he will say some the most jaw dropping shit if they knew what he was saying. This often leads to him laughing mid-cuss out as they look to him incredibly confused.
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fic in review 2023 :)
this old tag game used to go around every year but no one's tagged me the past few years so i just. Tag My Self . because it is FUN ! it's the Shamelessly Promote Your Work game and it's fun looking at all the stats and reviewing your year in writing. it's the most indulgent tag game ever come join me
tagging: WHOEVER WANTS TO DO IT! YAY! TAG ME! 🎉but also specifically (no pressure! i will not be offended if you ignore, this is A Lot): @mvshortcut @fade-in-the-dark @altschmerzes @writer-and-thrasher @kar-krashew :)
i'm applying this to "trentcrimminallybeautiful" specifically, not the other fics on my ao3. ...mostly.
Total Number of Completed Stories:
total posted, complete or not: 40 works on ao3, but of those 40, four are collective works, so if we count each chapter/snippet as its own "completed stories", that's... 74, wow.
however, as for "complete"... not counting those snippet collections, 33. if i count the snippets i consider somewhat "complete"... probably around 57? some of them are hard to determine if they feel "complete" or not, hence why they're in snippets collection jail in the first place.
Total Word Count: according to ao3′s word count, 277,118, which is counting my works for other fandoms but is not counting the squillion wips i have unposted on ao3.
Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, mostly. But also The Mysterious Benedict Society. Also a Professor Layton fic.
Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: More! Trent really grabbed my brain. Spinning him.
What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:
UhhhHHHH. I'm bad at choices so here's several:
"trick & treat" and "off the record" for some overly self indulgent smut. and also the deeply embarrassing venom au oneshot
"being right" and this fic about trent being sick
superhero au oneshot, "second impressions", and a fmk oneshot for sillies, "high noon over richmond" or this time travel snippet...
Did you take any writing risks this year?: Hmm well I'd call That Goddamn Venom AU a Fucking Risk, as well as the My God What's This? Catboy Smut Oneshot With The Steel Chair
but honestly there were several fics i was unsure about, which got a variety of responses i think, although none atrociously bad
Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: So many WIPs I want to like. actually write.
Best story of the year: Well, that's not favorite (my favorite) or most popular (everyone else's favorite) so is that supposed to mean objectively the best? Because I still am bad at judging this. At a guess, the aforementioned superhero au, one of those indulgent smut fics, or possibly this deeply stupid crack fic about rupert mannion sucking in bed. Or "ink sunset". NO WAIT. IT'S MATTERS OF THE HEART of course it is
Most popular story of the year: hm. WELL. im only doing ones on this account bc i can’t be bothered to pull up the other ones tbh but
By kudos: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 1004
By subscriptions: "sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell)" with 70
By comment threads: if we're counting snippet collections, first goes to the first snippet collection with 130 and then the second one with 124. if we're not, then it's "Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)" with 78. (although "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" is at 77--close!)
By bookmarks: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 294
By hits: "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth" with 5324
So overall, probably "Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth"/ By far. Wow.
Most personal story of the year: Probably I WANTED TO BE LOVED SO DESPERATELY / THAT MY FINGERS SHOOK WITH IT or lost sight of (who you are). Wait, no. matters of the heart.
Funniest story of the year: Oh I have so many fucking crack fics. Perhaps one of my many stupid time travel aus, or painting the town richmond blue, or Rupert Mannion Is Batman (He Isn't)? Or that aforementioned stupid fmk oneshot.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Hmmm, lost sight of (who you are), wayward thoughts, and being right.
Most fun story to write: I think i have the most fun with crack and smut--not that I don't love angst, because I do, but crack is just bouncing whatever I think will be funniest and flying by the seat of my pants, and if I manage to write and post smut, it is always extremely indulgent. Can't think of any in these particular genres I haven't already mentioned.
Story with the sexiest moment: Definitely "trick & treat" or "off the record".
Sweetest story of the year: Perhaps "helpless in a game of kisses" or this meet-cute? I also quite enjoyed the ending of "the dregs at the bottom of the glass".
“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous, and say maybe the first chapter of "make a mess of you"?
Hardest story to write: matters of the heart and its sequel has been fucking me up. Also see lost sight of (who you are).
Biggest disappointment: Some fics I really like didn't do so well, but then, a lot of them did, so I try not to dwell on it
Biggest surprise: Was really nervous about a few oneshots I really liked and worked hard on (particularly "matters of the heart" and some of that stupidly indulgent smut) but they got a pretty good reception! Also see: just how bad Trent Crimm has invaded my brain <3
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prettyboykatsuki · 11 months
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i just want to clarify this again though i do not necessarily mind people using the words transmasc for my writing (i did before!! but that has changed after a bit of reflection) that i do not typically tag things that way because i myself do not feel like i experience gender in that way
my experiences are closer to gender fluidity and queerness so i dont want to assign any gender to my readers bc i dont want to isolate anyone from reading if that makes sense. my tags are purely functional. unless gender is by some means is relevant to the story (which it is sometimes, and i will always try to make that clear) - i tag words and actions that might incite discomfort and allow people to engage with my work however they want
coming into my own gender stuff - it was very difficult for me to engage with it in x reader because i never quite felt like i felt into any particular box. i dont mind any gendered language or presentation. im not really a girl or a boy. words are words and things are things and none of it particularly bothers me.
because of that i dont want to people to feel like they have to fit any experience to read, engage, or understand my work. with masc!readers especially, i dont want to write something that always addresses it.
while narratives about the trans experience or dysphoria are deeply important, it helped me accept myself more to read things that didn't make it feel like the elephant in the room. i am me, regardless of the way i look or sound or act.
and i want people to be able to read my work the same way. i know that distinction might be silly to a lot of people, but x reader community is like my home. ive been consuming and reading fic this way forever and i want to be a place for other people to do that.
you can be anyone and read anything i write based on your own comfort and discernment. the choice to let you engage and not feel guilt or confusion about that is important to me. it is more important to me to create a reader that can compel regardless of those things. anyone can read anything i write. in fact i hope u read things that dont apply to u at all if you so choose.
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c0rpseductor · 7 months
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its like. i dont care what other people call themselves bc that's their choice. but in the broader sense of like as a community term or in the event it were used on me, i just really hate neurospicy.
i said this in my tags but it feels infantilizing, and reductive and sanitizing. i think there's nothing wrong with appreciation of oneself or like disability pride, i make tons of autistic jokes for sure, but i think like. i don't like when being ND is presented as essentially being more cool/interesting/eccentric with no real downsides and i feel like that's the only context in which i see neurospicy. like you'll talk about being neurospicy for having a special interest you talk about a lot, a relatively socially acceptable manifestation of autism, but i doubt anyone would apply neurospicy as a descriptor to childhood behaviors of mine related to autism and trauma, like having massive screaming meltdowns or attacking other children. because that's disturbing, those are disturbing behaviors
and similarly like, i feel like neurospicy is never going to be applied to discussion of challenges like executive dysfunction that prevents you from showering for days in a row or brushing your teeth, or needing major assistance with most ADLs, or having chronic pain and exhaustion due to neurological and psychological factors like my own chronic migraine which is probably somewhat related to trauma. nobody talks about being neurospicy for having debilitating flashbacks or terrifying hallucinations or horrible intrusive thoughts or any of that shit, even though mental illness is also neurodiverse. bc none of that is fucking cute and quirky.
like maybe this is a bad faith read of the term but it feels like an appeal to the majority and a washing-away of the "ugly parts" of neurodiversity, by both people who are relatively (not entirely! just compared to others) free of "ugly" or stigmatized symptoms/conditions and people who just really want to hide theirs in exchange for acceptance and positive attention. being a little awkward and quirky when you talk to the cashier is neurospicy but having a compulsive skin picking problem is Weird and you're Weird. feels like negative progress to me
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gepperl · 2 years
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RATING BINDERS YIPPEEE
this is based on my personal experience with binders, my bra size is around 38F and i am 5'11, so this is aimed more towards people with larger chests as reviews are typically aimed towards skinny people with small chests. i am also autistic and struggle with sensory issues, so keep that in mind for allistics that some of my cons may not apply to you :) but for nd people, this may also be helpful for your possible sensory issues.
GC2B: 3/10
WHITE FULL TANK-
PROS
- not visible under clothes
- can pass as an undershirt
- the bind was alright, only looked male through hoodies or several layers
- came within 2 weeks
CONS
- ripped easily
- expensive
- SIDE BOOB.
- weird lumps
- sensory hell; very itchy and noticeable
- have to readjust a lot
- spillage
- turns yellow from sweat/stains easily (if you are an active person this may not be the best)
NUDE HALF TANK-
PROS
- not as bad with sensory as the white full tank
- binded well (if you went a size down, which is not necessarily safe), could pass through multiple layers
- came within 3 weeks
CONS
- noticeable under clothes
- again, SIDE BOOB.
- spillage
- rips easily
- lumps
- cannot be passed as an undershirt (very rare undershirts are tan in color)
- hard to breathe and move around in
- expensive
XUJI: 5/10
BLACK HALF TANK
PROS
- not super expensive (around $20-$30)
- binds convincingly, passed underneath tshirts
- did not rip through 5 months of regular use
- could go to the gym for 3 hours and not feel any pain, good for active use
- came within 5 days (!!)
CONS
- horrid sensory quality (very itchy and rough, upsetting in general)
- felt very small, half my boob was out because it wasn't wide enough (went up a size and it barely binded me) (if you have a small torso width wise this may not be an issue)
- lot of readjusting needed
UNDERWORKS: 7/10
BLACK FULL TANK
PROS
- no obvious binding panels, so it passed very well as an undershirt
- bind was pretty good, male enough chest to pass underneath a tshirt
- flattened out my hips a bit too (!! very cool !!)
- could exersize and move around just fine
CONS
- hurts after around 4-5 hours due to the restriction on your full torso (full body bind ☹️)
- took a long time to arrive (2 months, idk what was up)
SPECTRUM: 10/10
CORAL HALF TANK
PROS
- no/very little sensory issues! not itchy, no annoying tags, none of that
- binds very well, convincing pecs/male chest
- does not hurt
- any kind of exercise, including swimming (ik its not safe but im doing it anyways shhh) did not cause breathing problems or pain
- has not ripped after 4 months of regular use
CONS
- ugly coral color bc other ones were sold out
- readjusting gets annoying
OVERALL
SPECTRUM- BEST OVERALL AND FOR DAILY USE
UNDERWORKS - BEST STEALTH
XUJI - BEST FOR ACTIVE USE
GC2B - HONESTLY WOULD NOT RECCOMEND, QUALITY WENT DOWN A LOT
i hope this helps anyone like me trying to find a proper way to bind, obligatory do not use duct tape bandages they dont even fucking work i know from experience LMAO but i digress, safe binding everyone and thank you for reading !
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vampkomori · 7 months
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hi I'm op! I noticed the tags you left and I know you can't say too much in response to this but I wanted to elucidate some of my reasoning especially since at first glance Joshua seems VERY closed off. I just think he would talk in circles around it without getting to any real point so it would be an incomprehensible but also incredibly detailed ramble. I made the post before I reached Joshua's history infodumps but if I were to add anything to it there would be a quiz afterwards. I just started day 7, but I'm hoping to finish out week 2 before going to bed tonight!
oohh hello!! :D this ask actually vanished into the nether and only reappeared after u sent the other one which is so. funny. tungle functional website 👍
ty for getting back to me as well!! i love knowing what other people think about joshua. hes my little guy. also no worries none of this should be spoilery!!
i was rly (pleasantly) surprised abt ur take on him bc i feel like many people actually do not get the same impression. for some reason. which ive never understood (also that u garnered that before his history quiz is incredible. id assumed u got that from there!! really cool :D) i think the most common interpretation for him is to say as little as possible to sound ominous and also because of the whole (says thing) (does not elaborate) (leaves) thing being a meme. which i guess kiiind of applies to him, but hes actually so talkative isnt he. he always has something to say !! i think hed be pressed to always add commentary. and then he keeps going bc lack of replying probably means lack of understanding to him so hed just keep going elaborating until ur left more confused than u were before. i love him. id let him infodump shibuya history on me for hours
good luck w the rest of the game and have fun !! :D
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