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latriii · 7 months

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GIRLNEXTDOOR 태산 ・ 박성훈 p.sunghoon h.taesan

SYNOPSIS. Having to move to a new area was already tough enough but being in a relationship with the biggest player known in your new school after being warned was even worse. Once you finally seperated from Sunghoon, you try to move on with no other than his twin brother, Taesan. The thing was that it was accidental, which led to things getting complicated between you and your two neighbors. You became the notorious Girl Next Door that they both desired.

IN WHICH. You and Sunghoon develop deep feelings until you caught him cheating on you, this led you to go boy crazy. You end up getting closer to Taesan until you develop a relationship with him. Who do you end up with?

PART TWO. HERE TAGLIST IS OPEN!

GENRE. love triangle, teenage love, highschool au, angst, fluff, STRANGERS to LOVERS, ACQUAINTANCES to LOVERS

PARING(s). Park Sunghoon x f!reader, Han Taesan x f!reader

WARNINGS. heartbreaks, mentions of cheating, alcohol, fighting, violence

WORD COUNT. 3k ( 3,949 )

i. REALIZED I DIDN’T READ BETWEEN THE LINES

Oh, how the sounds of cheering rang throughout your ears. You stood in front of hundreds of students as a group of your boyfriends' teammates each held up a sign with letters spelling out ‘HOCO?’

You were exhausted, minutes before— you were thrown into the air, cheering as loudly as you possibly could, while also trying to support number two on the field. That didn’t stop you from jumping into your boyfriend’s arms though. You were slowly starting to catch your breath as you let go of the skintight hug you shared with your boyfriend. He had just won the first home game of the season and oh boy, was he happy. You felt his breath hovering as he panted in and out above your messily tied-up hair while the tips of his fingers caressed your waist.

Many people knew Sunghoon as a complete douchebag. So, maybe it was the delusions or maybe it was the attachment you developed for him, but you never saw him as a ‘douchebag.’ Although you would be lying if you’ve never heard people say he tends to lead girls on, you’d also be lying if your friends didn’t tell you so. You knew what you were getting yourself into the moment you stepped into your new apartment and locked eyes with him.

But Park Sunghoon arose something inside of you that you just couldn’t understand. He was so different from the guys back in your old hometown. He caused you to go boy crazy over him. He would drive you to and from school every day, he would walk you to class, and on top of that, he introduced you to his whole family, but that was a given since you two were new neighbors.

“So?” His raspy worn-out voice silently echoed in your ears as his grip tightened around your waist. “Will you go to homecoming with me, my sweet girlfriend?”

Did you say yes? Of course, you did. However, things didn’t go as planned.

Your friends were right about everything. You felt humiliated and that very feeling was eating you up inside. You were played by the notorious pretty looking douchebag everyone warned you about. Thinking back, you wondered why you were so set on him— sure, he was a sweetheart to you, but you knew he wasn’t the best person to others; you helplessly ignored those negative traits for him. You were addicted to him and it wasn’t a good feeling knowing that.

“(Name), Stop stalking his social media.” Danielle’s soft tone snaps you back into your wandering head, she was sitting close to you, smoothly taking your phone out of your grip.

“I know, sorry— I can’t help it.” You attempt to grab your phone back but miserably fail. “Danielle, you know fast he moved on? We dated for five months for fucks sake.”

Danielle sympathizes with you, she knows how hard a heartbreak can affect a person, so she just hums in response as she returns your phone. “You know, checking his socials isn’t going to make you feel any better.”

You pressed your lips together, she was right. Why couldn’t you get over him? You've never been so stuck on a boy especially one you only dated for five months. It was draining you.

“Still crying over Sunghoon?” You instantly recognize who spoke those words and your head naturally turns towards the voice. Your eyes met with Jaehyun as he squeezed his way in between you and Danielle like he normally does. “Actually yes, you should tell your bestie I was crying over his brother again.” You say.

“I am so not telling Taesan that, but you could. You’re still neighbors with the both of them anyway.” Jaehyun teased as he stuffed his sandwich into his mouth. You shove him with your shoulder as you take in what he says while Danielle silently chuckles with Jaehyun.

ii. I’VE NEVER KNOWN SOMEONE LIKE YOU, I’M STUCK FOREVER

To say that you were beginning to dread going to football events was an understatement. You despised going to them, it was just a reminder of your past relationship that didn’t end that long ago. You couldn’t skip these stupid events anyway, you were a cheerleader and a very good one at that. They needed you and you needed them if you didn’t want to fall apart due to your heartbreak. Cheerleading was your only escape but now that it was tied with memories of you and Sunghoon, you didn’t know how to feel. You couldn’t even process your thoughts.

“Keep it together (Name), what’s going on with you?” You were starting to feel your body heat up as your coach lectures you in front of everyone. God, this day couldn’t get any worse.

“Sorry, Mrs. Lee.” You reply. You start to feel sweat dripping down your face as you quickly bow. “Sorry isn’t going to cut it. Get it together.”

You straightened your back as you continuously nodded at Mrs. Lee. She kept complaining until she finally ended practice early because she was disappointed in the team, but everyone knew it was because of you. Nonetheless, you begin to pack up, it was starting to get chilly outside so you quickly wrap yourself in the hoodie you received from Sunghoon.

Everything reminded you of him, sometimes you brought it upon yourself but right now, this was just the god's way of punishing you for whatever reason. You notice Sunghoon and his friends walking up to where your team usually practices.

He looked so good, he was drenched in sweat, which led to his long black hair sticking to his forehead, while he held onto his helmet on the side of his hip. You couldn’t help but stare and it was a bad habit, and the thing was that he always noticed your stares but this time it was different, he was distracted. He was walking up to Ning Yizhou, the captain of your team. You could feel your heart crack for the millionth time.

Upon their arrival, Ning gave him a warm hug that you once used to give him when practice ended. You used to always wonder if he even missed you at all— but he didn’t, not even a little.

“Hey (Name), long time no see.”

Huh? You were so stuck in your thoughts you didn’t realize Jungwon had walked up to you. “Oh Jungwon, what's up.”

Jungwon raised his thick brows, noticing how down your tone had sounded. To be honest, everyone knew why you were always so down and sometimes they would feel bad, including Jungwon himself but at the same time, Jungwon had no say, Sunghoon was his best friend after all.

“Just wanted to check up on you.” You chuckle at his words, how kind of him even though his best friend threw your heart on the ground and stomped on it. Okay, dramatic, but still, you were hurt.

“I gotta go Jungwon.” You say as you grab your bag and make your way back into the school building to change.

Making your way into the building alone wasn't a big deal, it felt normal, almost like a routine that was injected into your blood system. You would quickly change and leave and that's what you did. As you walked out of the school building, you began to scroll through Instagram unknowingly searching up ‘hoon_.2.’

“(Name)?” You quickly shut off your phone and glanced up, it was Taesan. You could tell he just changed from his basketball clothes back into his uniform, his hair was still stuck to his forehead and his lips were a pretty pink shade that you’d only see while he played on the court. It was kind of weird.

Even though Taesan was Sunghoon’s twin brother, they were so distinguishable from one another. They would think differently, dress differently, have different hobbies, and even talk differently. Taesan was such a soft-toned, shy boy while Sunghoon was loud and strongly opinionated, it had always appalled you because of how they were so different.

“Taesan.” You chirped, hoping he didn’t catch a glimpse of you stalking his twin brother. Taesan gazed at you, it was obvious that he was observing you. The thing was that you were hoping he hadn’t seen what you were doing on your phone, but you couldn’t even read his face, he was staring pretty intensely so you had an unknown sensation of how to feel.

But Taesan was just admiring you, he always found you appealing.

“Do you need a ride home? We’re going the same place anyway.” He silently asks without breaking his eye contact with you.

“Sure.” You smile as you begin to make jokes with him. It was the least you could do since he was driving you home.

Sunghoon had seen you walk out with his brother, it was funny. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that seeing you laughing with his twin brother rubbed him the wrong way. To be fair, this feeling was foreign to Sunghoon.

“You can’t be mad,” Jungwon says as he watches Sunghoon’s eyes follow you out the door. “Who said I was mad.” Sunghoon sternly says, as his grip tightens around his bag.

“It’s so obvious.” Jay barges in, walking next to the angered boy. “But yeah you can’t be mad.” The dimpled boy continued as he twirled his car keys around his finger.

Sunghoon scoffs, “Not saying I'm mad but why can’t I be?” The audacity Sunghoon had pushed Jay to stop in his tracks while Jungwon’s eyes widened so big that he thought his own eyes would dry out. “Are you really asking that?” Jay genuinely asks.

“Yes?”

“Look, all I'm saying is that you can’t be upset when you cheated and left her during homecoming.” Jungwon raises both his hands up as he nonchalantly walks away.

“Okay? That was like last month.” Sunghoon defends as he catches up to Jungwon, walking side by side with him while Jay follows behind. “Still. Plus, I wouldn’t worry too much, I doubt Taesan would date her.” Jungwon shrugs leaving Sunghoon to think to himself.

Taesan would never go for someone like you. Right?

iii. DREAMING OF YOU

Sunghoon had called you late that night, you took a few seconds to process the contact that was appearing on your phone. ‘Hoonie <3’ it read. Oh boy, the flashbacks with this contact that showed up every night for five months.

You let the call ring for a few more seconds before picking up. “Hello?” You quietly say as your cold phone lays against your ear. “(Name),” You could hear in his voice that he hadn’t slept.

“What do you want Hoon.” You look out the window, staring at the lit moon that fit perfectly in the night sky.

“I saw you with Taesan.” He sternly says, you can hear him shifting in his bed. “So what?” you question. It was strange, you’ve spoken to Taesan before, why is it a problem now? If anything, it shouldn’t even concern him.

“What's your relationship with my brother?” Sunghoon let out a silent chuckle after asking that, he felt stupid, why was he asking you what your relationship status if he willingly left you?

You found this absurd. It was around three o'clock in the morning and he was asking you a dumb question that he shouldn’t care about. “Good night hoon,” you say before ending the call.

It had been a while since someone had called him Hoon with so much emotion. No one called him Hoon with that much feeling until you.

Sunghoon just brushes off this foreign feeling once again and ends the night with that before he starts to think too hard.

On the other hand, you were staring at your white popcorn ceiling, it was blurry and dark, and it almost reminded you of the day of homecoming. Closing your eyes, you start to recall that day; you found Sunghoon kissing Ning in his car. You remember how intoxicated you were that night and how desperately you were searching for him after you guys argued over something so small and dumb. It was so dumb you wish you never started that argument, because maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t have cheated on you, and maybe you guys would’ve been happier than ever still in a relationship. He was your home, he was everything to you.

If only you didn’t start that argument. But that’s just the manipulation getting to you, and you know it.

It might’ve been the nosy side of Taesan but he couldn’t help but listen to everything you guys were talking about over the phone. It was short, yes, but It had Taesan thinking. Taesan’s room was right next to Sunghoons and the walls were fairly thin, anyone could hear anything by just staying silent. But he always knew you were too good for his brother and the thing was that he still loved Sunghoon no matter what, but Taesan couldn't wrap his head around his brother's actions. It doesn’t make sense and taesans confident a lot of people would agree with him.

This kind of sucks though, Sunghoon wanting to know what's going on between you two— drove Taesan to yearn to talk to you even more.

Even if it were wrong for him to.

And here you were, gradually massaging your eyes as you gaped blankly at your buzzing, bright screen, ‘taesan’ it read. Why was everyone summoning you tonight? You peek over at your alarm clock, it was four in the morning. You’ve got to be kidding. You still picked up though, you had no reason not to. “Taesan?”

“(Name), did I wake you?” His voice was low and sweet, you shift in bed as you hum silently. “No,” you lie, sitting up against your bed frame, “did you need something?”

You could hear him silently chuckling, an extremly attractive chuckle, it kind of put you in a daze, but then again, you were beyond tired at this point and you had school in a couple hours. “I just wanted to talk to you, but it's late.” He pauses. “Goodnight (Name).” He hung up.

Oh? That was shorter than you thought, but you felt his words in your bones, he was so quick and brief with his words. You shake off this feeling, sliding right back into your blankets before knocking out again. This was not how you planned your night to go.

iv. BACK FOR MORE

“It was so strange,” you exclaimed as you sipped your Starbucks chai, elbows resting on the table as your back straightened, your thoughts were all over the place. “Like, both of them called me last night and they were meaningless calls.”

Jaehyun’s eyes shifted to your confounded expression, he found this entertaining to hear from you. “So, you’re telling me Taesan called you,” he pauses to let out a giggle, “at four in the morning to say goodnight?”

You nod, taking in every word Jaehyun says as he continues laughing at his best friend's actions toward you. It was shocking to say the very least, taesan has never been that bold and he always knew he found you attractive, it was no surprise— you were all the students spoke about when you first transferred anyway.

Across the room were eyes watching you ranting to Jaehyun. Honestly, he didn't make it that obvious that he was goggling at you, but his friends noticed. “Why are you staring at her so intensely?” Jungwon waved his hand in front of his face, quickly catching Sunghoon's attention.

“I’m not,” Sunghoon defends, orbs still attached to the movements of your body. “Oh yeah because it sure doesn’t look like you're about to eat up (Name) with your eyes.” Jungwon hummed, sinking back into the couch.

“I called her last night,” Sunghoon says, “And what did you say?” Jungwon’s attention was fully on his best friend. “I asked what her relationship with my brother was.” He replies, also sinking into the couch, shifting his eyes to Jaehyun who kept making you laugh.

“Now that's low, even for you Sunghoon.”

“It’s not, I'm just curious,” Sunghoon lied, he knew it was low, it was incredibly low. He hadn’t thought about you in a while though, sure, he’d stalk your Instagram a couple of times but that's only because you would post pictures of yourself going out and you’d always look good. You weren’t called the pretty new transfer for no reason.

And that’s why Sunghoon got with you right away, there were already rumors of a pretty girl coming into your school but finding out that you were neighbors the next day by locking eyes the first moment you’d meet was just another thing. To you, it felt like destiny, clearly it didn’t work out but still, you’d always talk about it when you cuddled in bed with Sunghoon; he heard it a lot.

“He’s staring at you by the way,” Danielle says as she arrives at your table, “He’s been staring since I got here and that was ten minutes ago.” She continued, as she settled in next to you.

“He’s so weird, you saw my texts right?” You say, receiving a nod from Danielle.

v. JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE SO CLEAR

Taesan sat at his desk, debating whether or not to text you. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about you all night and day and he felt guilty, he didn’t want to betray his brother but to be fair, things didn’t go well due to Sunghoon so, it's not too bad, right?

He groaned silently to himself as his eyes gazed upon the texts he sent you, ‘Want to grab ice cream after school?’ How cheesy, but honestly, Taesan couldn't care less about that. He wanted your response.

You received this text and it brought a smile to your face, you quickly replied with a yes! You needed an ice cream break.

“Thanks for the ice cream,” you smile while taking in the flavors of the vanilla bar he’d bought you. “No problem, I wanted to see you anyway,” He replies as his arm slightly brushed against yours, you were living for these moments and he was too.

“Taesan,” you stop in your tracks, and so did he once he felt air instead of your presents beside him, he glanced back at you and hummed. “Why did you call me last night?”

“Because I like you, kinda, maybe. It’s complicated.” He answers, before turning and proceeding with his walk back to your apartments.

“What?” You catch up to Taesan and tug on his uniform sleeve, resulting in him looking down at you before veering around his eyes back to the sidewalk. “You heard me.”

You remained silent for the rest of the walk, the sounds of you and Taesan dragging your feet filled your ears, and you knew Taesan was too deep in his head to realize how loud he was dragging his feet.

“We’re here,” you say, pressing the numbers that led you into your home, “(Name), you don't have to think about what I said earlier, I just kind of blurted it out.” Taesan walked into his house without glancing back, leaving you alone in the halls of your apartment.

“(Name), why are you frozen outside your house,” you hear a familiar voice speak as you shift your orbs to no other than your ex-boyfriend. “Why can’t I stand outside my house?” You argue back.

“Just asking,” Sunghoon cheeses at your defensiveness, he finds it cute, “But you’re also in my house area so.”

“Fuck off, I’m literally not.” You protest, quickly walking into your house, leaving Sunghoon alone in the halls. Why were you so angry? Sunghoon just shrugged and stepped into his house as well.

vi. MORE THAN FRIENDS?

Days had gone by and all you’d done was hang out with Taesan since the day he confessed to you. You found him very comforting, you’d meet up with him before and after class and would walk together everywhere. This didn’t go unnoticed of course, everyone figured out how close you two had gotten, but Sunghoon had noticed the most and he was the one who spoke about it the most.

“Why are they suddenly so close, they look like a couple.” Sunghoon rants, gazing into the locker room mirror as he paints his cheeks in black for the football game. “Who knows, maybe they naturally became close.” Jungwon shrugs as he tapes his legs, preparing for the game.

Sunghoon felt his whole body heat up when he saw you on your tippy toes leaning over the fence to kiss his brother, you two were official. This didn’t hold Sunghoon back, he’d get into a fight during the game over something minor and had to be benched for the rest of the game.

“What the fuck Sunghoon? We lost because of you!” Gyuvin provoked, jabbing his fingers into Sunghoon's chest. “The fuck is wrong with you?” He continued.

Kim Gyuvin was the captain of the football team, he was always harsh with his words, and usually, Sunghoon could handle them since he barely got a lecture, but something just snapped in him, he threw a punch at Gyuvin in front of everyone, earning gasps from the student section.

You watched this whole interaction happened, you were also on the field cheering like crazy to hype up the student section, but seeing your ex-boyfriend in a fight made you feel different emotions. You ran up to them, trying to stop them, you held onto Sunghoon's waist trying to hold him back, but you miserably failed as expected.

“Stop Sunghoon! You’re going to get suspended!” You yell out as your grip around his waist tightens. Sunghoon listened to your voice, abruptly stopping while Gyuvin was dragged away by Matthew and Jungwon. Sunghoon pulled you off him.

“Get the fuck off me (Name),”

You step back as you stare Sunghoon in the eyes, he is beyond angry, he’s never spoken to you like that and you were caught off guard. “What?”

Sunghoon ignores you and walks into the school, students scanning his every move as others glance back at you standing in the field alone. You felt humiliated but you also were curious about why he was angry because no one had ever seen Sunghoon so upset to the point where he gets physical with someone he called a friend. It was all confusing even for Sunghoon himself, why was he so worked up?

“Are you okay?” you hear Taesan approaching you with Jaehyun beside him, his face showing full concern and this warms you up. You pull him into a hug as you two walk back to the school.

“That was kind of crazy, the way you ran and tugged onto Sunghoon felt like it was straight out of a movie,” Jaehyun exclaimed as his expressions varied between each word he spoke. “It was,” Taesan added, holding onto your waist.

It was true you and Taesan shared deep feelings for one another but you guys weren’t officially together yet, you would sneak around with him here and there but you guys had made it clear that you were just close friends that kiss sometimes. Inside this wrecked Taesan, he wanted to be more than friends but he knew you weren’t ready and this whole situation just confirms it.

Was it Taesan or Sunghoon who you truly had feelings for?

✶ LATRII | 2O23. PART TWO. HERE

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saintslewis · 9 months

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❝ Infrunami ❞ • LN4

pairing: lando norris x black fem! driver reader

summary: in which it’s enemies to lovers at first but lando finds his feelings and quick.

warnings: cursing, arguments, pettiness, descriptions of a crash, typos.

taglist: @thisismeracing @goldsainz @planete777

saint's team radio: this is from a lovely request right here and i do hope it lives up to your expectations! i loved writing this and i hope you enjoy it 💗

a bit of social media.

Bahrain. The first race of the season and most importantly, your first race in McLaren. The sweat at the back of your head was threatening to fall as the sun blasted on everyone who wasn't underneath shade. Walking through the official paddock entrance, you looked through your tinted sunglasses to see many people ranging from media, fans, teams, family and more. As soon as your orange and dark green Nike dunk lows touched the ground, cameras rushed in front of you and random words were thrown at you but you knew you had to focus on one thing and that was to get to the McLaren motor home.

"This is going to happen every time you step foot into a grid entrance around the world and don't take anything they say seriously, especially right now since it's your first race in F1." The voice of your media person, Leah, said in your ear. You held your purse handle more tightly as you continued walking. Fame was destined when you entered this sport but gosh, was it overwhelming with all the fans and criticism about you. However, you knew that you would face this with your teammate by your side.

"What are those big cameras for?" You asked Leah, noticing the enormous cameras in front of you and to the side. "Netflix." She simply said and you decided to smile and wave to both cameras, already establishing the kind of personality you would portray to the media and the rest of the world.

"Y/n!" McLaren's team principal and your new boss, Zak Brown, exclaimed happily as you walked into your team's motor home and the entrance was decorated with welcome signs, flowers and all types of snacks for everyone to enjoy. Your eyes wandered around the room and you greeted the team that was present but you could feel someone sending daggers through your back. You turned around only to see your new teammate, Lando and his face said everything you needed to know that he was clearly unhappy with your arrival. As you made eye contact, he walked out of the room and went upstairs with his arms crossed and the meanest scowl on his face.

"Hey n/n, you've got a few things you need to film with Lando before going on the track with Lissie later on. And fix your face, your dislike for each other is showing." Your best friend and assistant, Renee, looked at you and smiled at the eye roll you sent her. "We don't dislike each other, just don't look at me funny and we're cool." You said as you clutched the handle of your purse once again and made your way upstairs.

"And that's it. Thank you guys!" The producer for McLaren's youtube channel called out to you and Lando. You hated the whole experience because you had to pretend that you could even be in the same room together. Anyone could tell that he was only giving you the cold shoulder and that struck a nerve because you truly wanted to bond and possibly be friends with him but that all ended when he looked into your eyes this morning.

"Hey Lan-" Before you could even finish your sentence, he got up from the swivel chair and walked away once again, making you sigh. Coming up to you was his media personnel, Charlotte with a sorrowful look with her hands fiddling. "I'm so sorry, he's never usually like that. I'll try talk to him." She apologised on his behalf. You could just feel the pitiful looks some of the media staff gave you because obviously the room was still full of people.

"It's cool. Just tell him to get his shit together for the anthem." Your tone had completely changed from hurt to trying to push your anger away. Charlotte clearly noticed the difference too as she dismissed herself from the conversation and went in the direction that Lando went in. Turning around, you faced your assistant with a smile that showed that you wanted to get the fuck out of the room and get on with your other activities.

The crowd was quite loud as you heard them from the garage as they would chant their favourite driver's name. You placed your AirPods in and wiped your nose a little, avoiding your nose piercings. The fireproofs were extremely comfortable as you walked to where the rest of the drivers were getting ready to be welcomed to Bahrain with their national anthem. Standing in between Lando and Charles, anyone could tell that you would much rather interact with him than your teammate and you knew shit like this would get you in trouble but until the unnecessary attitude leaves, you would continue giving him the same energy.

"It's light out and away we go!"

"Y/n L/n has created history as the first female formula 1 driver to have a podium in her first race in McLaren, congratulations!"

Australia

"You've been on a roll, Y/n. Teach me your ways!" Daniel exclaimed as you, Alex, Charles and him had huddled in front of the McLaren motor home. It was pretty hot out as you all wore sunglasses to shield the suns rays from your eyes. "I know this'll sound bad but I just think about whatever's waiting for me after the race while thinking of hype songs while driving." You shrugged your shoulders after what you said.

"Essentially like you're in a movie?" Charles chuckled. "That exactly what it is, Charlie." You smiled and carried on the conversation with more jokes. From wherever you are, you could always feel someone staring at you. Looking up, you saw Lando standing by the large window looking down at your little group, feeling his breathing becoming quicker the longer he stared. The two of you had kept the little staring contest on until someone had startled him.

"Mate, I've been calling your name for at least two minutes now." Oscar's voice eventually reaching his ears after a moment. "First, she's basically the favourite after Bahrain and Saudi now my boys ditched me to hang out with her? What the fuck?" Lando immediately complained as he let go of the railing to face the McLaren reserve driver who looked at him with complete disbelief. "You don't like Y/n?" Oscar questioned while taking a bite of the cookie in his hand.

"Well isn't it obvious, mate? It's this weird look she gives me every time and the cold shoulder and- where did you get that cookie from?" Lando began but cut off his own rant to look at the mouth watering sugar cookie in his friends hand. "You won't like the answer." Oscar said, taking another bite, careful to not spill any crumbs on the ground.

He groaned out loud when he eventually realised that you made the cookies and clearly everyone received them besides him as he saw most of the drivers eating them throughout the afternoon. "I'll see you later, mate." He said, patting Oscar on the shoulder before making his way to his driver room, avoiding any signs of Charlotte yelling to go change. As he stepped in, he smelled a sweet scent and turned around to see a paper towel with two McLaren themed sugar cookies on it with a note next to them. His heart softened as he went closer to the cookies. He picked up the note and quickly placed it down with a bit of a smile on his face.

You're still a bitch but I make great cookies so eat them. hope you fall on your ass,

y/n.

yourusername

yourusername: lil backstory for y’all 🤭 1: it’s just me looking cute as always. 2: meet Bella and offset, random seating arrangement or was it? 🤨 3: LEWIS TOOK ME TO GO SEE QUEEN BEY AND TAYLOR OMGGGGGGG 4: mood 5: the bracelets for everyone 😚 6: Charles was taking a picture of my outfit 🧍🏽‍♀️

tagged: bellahadid, offsetryn, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc

view comments

user i literally love you

taylorswift13 it was amazing meeting you! 🩷🩷

yourusername you too! (screaming, crying, throwing up rn)

bellahadid madam President 🫡

yourusername leave the motorcade story ALONE anyways, sleepover?

lilymhe still don’t wanna talk to you but you’re gorgeous or wtv 🙄

yourusername i’m sorry i threw the club so far away ☹️

lewishamilton we still have paris fashion week

yourusername superstar shit or something 🤭

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user why isn’t she interacting with Lando tho??

user that’s none of our business

Miami

A not so pleasant qualifying for either of you even though you placed P2 while he placed P15. He was your worst enemy throughout the session as you would fight through all the corners and curves. As much as you brought the drama to the race, you were livid.

You couldn't even pretend to enjoy such a historic achievement because you were walking awfully fast to the McLaren garage, ignoring the voices of the officials and your team as you couldn't spot him in the garage so you walked to the upstairs section where your drivers rooms were. Finding him and his friend, Max Fewtrell, leaning on a counter drinking water, unaware that the session had ended. "What the actual fuck is wrong with you, Norris?" You said as you entered the room, not even worried about the camera crew following you. Max being a good friend to Lando and acquaintance to you, he forced everyone out of the room to not escalate the situation further.

"What's wrong with me?! Do you not know how to drive?" He asked, pointing at himself and controlling his voice to avoid his voice cracking. Sighing out, you had to choose your words carefully. "I'm quite good at driving. look at the previous races. You don't fucking drive that tractor like it's a construction site." You spoke, not breaking eye contact with the boy.

"Bullshit! Your driving put me in P15! You could've crashed me into the wall." He began raising his voice a little but that was to piss you off even more. "Lower your tone, Norris. You know goddamn well that the wall was far away and you didn't want to move when you were asked to. What is your issue?" You scowled. The longer you spent in the room with him, the worse your insults were going to get.

"What's my issue? What's my issue, y/n?!" Lando began chuckling as he asked his questions, his face turning the slightest of red. You scoffed and rolled your eyes. "I don't have the time for your shit. Do your job better tomorrow." You said with such venom in your words and turned to walk out of the room, seeing cameramen pressed against the door to any bit of your argument for content. Walking through the small group of them, you made your way to your drivers room to cool down.

Monaco

Thursday, Media Day

The conference room wasn't as warm as it was outside. The oversized McLaren themed football jersey was incredibly comfortable and your lv trainers perfectly matched the chilled look you had going on. Sitting as comfortably as you could on the white couch, your teammate next to you was fidgeting around and was avoiding any type of communication with you.

In your head, you cursed him for looking so handsome with his facial hair that he has been trying to grow for some time now. The all white outfit was something you did not expect from him but gosh, did you love it. What derailed you from having a wandering eye on Lando was the argument you two shared nearly three weeks before Monaco. That would immediately change your mind on how you thought of him.

Lando, on the other hand, had to force himself to not stare at you. You were practically glowing next to him, your jewels shining brightly and your perfume scent was enough for him to think of you everytime something sweet lingered around. He would never admit it to himself that he took a liking to you but the more he complained to his friends, the more they were convinced he liked you.

"Hi, I'm Madison from FemmeFormula. This is more of a personal question for you, Y/n. The friendship bracelets have been doing the rounds on the socials by the way, thank you for my one. What really inspired you to make them?" She asked, visibly happy to ask you since the interaction you shared this morning from the morning.

"Hi Madison! Uh, recently went to The Eras Tour and then a few swifties gave me bracelets and I wanted to make my own to give my fellow drivers." You answered with a smile on your face, lifting your wrist to look at the custom bracelet you made yourself.

"And where's yours Lando? Surely it got lost in the mail." You smirked, knowing you were slowly getting on his nerves because the smile seemed innocent to the journalists but he exactly what you meant.

"I'd like to hope it's even in the mail." He have a fake smile, earning a few laughs and trying to not show any other emotion than whatever it is he has going on.

Another journalist stood up and introduced himself to you two. "Harrison here from ESPN. This one is for Y/n again. Would you consider yourself the number 1 driver for McLaren and would you ever let Lando through since you're bringing home the wins? He hasn't been as consistent as-"

"Okay Harrison, I'll stop you there," You sat upright for this one. "Lando has been here longer than I have and I absolutely respect him for being such an amazing driver. Yes, our team relationship hasn't looked the best the past couple of weeks but that's sportsmanship. Now, if you'll all excuse us, we have a Grand Prix to tend to." You finished, placing the mic on the couch and stood up, fixing your shorts and extended your hand to Lando with him immediately taking it.

Hand in hand, you walked out of the conference room with cameramen and journalists hot on your toes until you made it to the secret entrance of the McLaren motor home.

"Um-"

"That was called sportsmanship, Norris. See you on track." You spat out, letting go of his large hand and walking to your drivers room, leaving the British boy stunned.

Spain

The orange romper was the perfect fit for the hot Spanish weather and you knew you looked good, showing off your glittering skin with the matching bucket hat. The sounds of Rosalia's 'Motomami' blasted through your AirPods as you waved at the crowds during the driver's parade and the gap between you and Lando was very noticeable but you couldn't care because you were there to win and spoil yourself afterwards.

"If you could stop pacing around, then you would stop our nerves too." Renee said, playing with a pen watching you become anxious all over again. The feeling in the pit of your stomach has been weird from the moment you woke up. Your stomach felt like it had been tied with a rope and the deep breaths practice weren't really helping at the moment.

"I mean think of it like this; nothing bad has happened since you woke up. It has been, dare i say, a perfect day. Whatever it is will pass quickly and you could be battling Max for the Championship." She smiled, trying her best to lighten your spirits but something was off and you couldn't put your finger on it.

"Not too much on the championship talk, that's gonna upset some people." You joked, eventually stopping in the middle of the room and adjusted your fireproofs one last time before heading out to the track.

Your sunglasses perched perfectly on your nose, the gum you were chewing still had all its flavour, your wig was layed so good that anyone could say 'lace where?', the setting spray on you working wonders because it didn't smudge the last race and your lipgloss was poppin. Physically, you looked like you had the whole world in the palm of your hand with your charm and confidence guiding you but gosh, you felt like you could cry any moment now.

Feeling a large hand on your shoulder, you saw the tattoos and immediately recognised the hand to be Lewis'. You two looked like partners in crime with the matching sunglasses and the same confident walk you both had as you walked towards your garages. "The teammate thing you two have will go away soon, y'know? If it doesn't, you always have a place in Mercedes." Lewis smiled wide with his last sentence, walking a little faster to his side of the garage.

You hoped it would go away soon but if the attitude is still there, then so be it.

"Mate, you have to talk to her at some point. I'm getting tired of leading your fan club." Daniel complained as he stood next to Lando, a few minutes before the start of the race. Lando snapped his head at Daniel. "I can't. Everytime we interact, we always fight." He rolled his eyes at the thought of it. He truly wanted it to end but if you wanted to continue it, then so be it.

"And who's fault was that? You didn't welcome her in properly, you didn't even show up for her welcome dinner. Most of the grid have done really cool stuff with her because they welcomed her in. She would come to me and say how much she wants to be anything with you at this point but just not fighting." Daniel expressed, looking around to make sure no one was hearing the conversation.

"Oh god, imagine how she feels..." Lando trailed off once he started thinking about most of your interactions. "How do I fix this?" He asked Daniel who truly wanted to laugh at his friend's desperation to make things right with you.

"You have to go race soon. But just know, she likes kpop, Beyoncé, the beach, Taylor Swift and Lewis Hamilton but I think the world knows that one. Have fun, mate!" Daniel began walking away with a smile and a wave to Lando who was stressing his life away.

Turn 15

It was staring at you as you inched closer and closer to it but you knew you couldn't make it past it even you tried. The car hadn't been your best friend today and it made sure to show the world that your winning streak was about to be broken.

Fighting off Perez and Sainz was incredibly hard and caused such damage to your tyres and brakes everytime you would oversteer. Carlos had eventually fallen behind you and Checo and you swore he had something out for you today. Approaching the turn, you felt your body turn cold when you felt Checo's rear end collided with your side and that sent you flying into the wall with a very hard impact, one that could make you pass out for a few minutes.

You kept your hands onto the steering wheel, shuffling your feet together to make sure that they were still moving and you moved your neck a little, immediately feeling a pain on the right side. "Are you okay? Y/n, please answer!" Your radio engineer stressed out, the silence falling upon the McLaren garage when you didn't answer immediately.

Your eyes were fighting to close, to just relax your body and wait for whatever help that was coming. You obviously had no idea how bad the crash was, how the crowd was silent whilst filming the scene, how much Lando was panicking once he heard.

The safety car was deployed once the yellow flag had been waved and both McLaren's were both on the side of the road with one driver makes his way to see the other, hoping to be given a chance to fix it. The paramedics were already attempting to remove you from the car, your body slumped a little but you did move your head, giving the world a sign that were okay.

He rushed to your side to hold your helmet as they took it off your head, your makeup truly not smudging. The paramedics had let you sit in the ambulance whilst they had gotten ready to take you to the track clinic. Looking up, you see him look at you with such concern.

"Is the safety car out? Cause it'll help Hamilton-"

"Y/n." He deadpanned.

"I'm okay, Norris. Go finish the race for me and you both. Don't make the both of us out of the race." You weakly smiled, feeling the pain on your side hit you as you moved a little. "I'm so sorry, Y/n. For everything. I want to make things right with you after this." Lando's eyes said everything you had been wanting ever since this weird situation began.

You leaned in to hug him and he was surprised, returning the hug with much more energy than you expected. You lifted your race sleeve to show two bracelets and you slipped one onto his wrist, watching him look at hit with curiosity. "I kept yours with me." You winked at the flabbergasted man who's cheeks were slowly turning red.

"Now seriously, go finish the race." You shooed him out of the ambulance and watched your new companion run to his car immediately get back into the race with one thing on his mind and that was you.

yourusername

yourusername: LIFE UPDATEEEEEEE ‼️ 1-3: LANDO TOOK ME TO GO SEE BEYONCÉ AGAIN AND SHE WAVED AT ME AND SAID MY NAME AND I LOOKED GOOD AHH.

4-6: LANDO ONCE AGAIN TOOK ME TO SEE SEVENTEEN AND TWICE OMG I LOVE THIS MAN PLS

5: just me looking cute as always 🫦

6: my sister made this hat for me 🥹

7: look at this cutie patootie (but extremely sassy!)

tagged: landonorris

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landonorris practicing choreo was HELL but I loved it

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yourusername f1 🧍🏽‍♀️

sza the first outfit my GOD

yourusername 🤭

beyonce so glad to see you again 🩷

yourusername it was lovely seeing you

landonorris she’s actually running around screaming

yourusername you can’t say this about me on Beyoncé’s internet

mclarenf1 the papaya fit 😋

yourusername can’t leave my duties as the papaya princess 😣

user ik this is late but the fact she can easily beat max is so impressive to me and i love it

yourusername it’s my favourite thing ever

maxverstappen1 yeah yeah 🙄

user OOMF THEY BOTH REPLIED TO YOUBEISNEISJS

Fin.

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anashins · 2 years

Text

The Other Brother

Pairing: Taeyong x You (feat. Jaehyun)

Genre: fiancé’s younger brother au, runaway bride, mutual pining (they just don’t know it yet), hate to love, angst, romance, smut

Warnings: rough smut, choking, mc is two years older

Word Count: 15.8k

Summary: Your wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but mere hours before the ceremony, you get cold feet and seek shelter with your fiancé's younger brother - the last place on earth where you want to be as you have never gotten along. But as the time of your wedding draws closer, you start to think that you might have ended up with the wrong brother after all.

Six hours before the wedding

You and Taeyong have known each other for ten long years, starting from when you were seventeen and he fifteen. And for every single one of those years, you’ve ignored, offended, argued, mocked and generally rubbed each other up the wrong way.

When you thought about your fiancé’s younger brother, you remembered how he threw sand on your food, called you a crybaby, shoved you into the pool, kicked a ball at you, hid bugs under your pillow, and many more worse things.

Yes… Jaehyun’s younger brother was the total opposite of him.

Where your fiancé was warm, kind and good-hearted, Taeyong was cruel, mean and ruthless - but not only to you. He hated everyone and everything, and it seemed the entire world hated him too. Though only you, he appeared to despise more than anyone else, and you had never quite understood why, having given up approaching him a long time ago.

Throughout all those years, you had never been able to form a bond. Yet, he was the only person you considered calling when you ran away from your own wedding.

“Ca- can you please come pick me up?”

Your phone was shaking in your hand as you pressed it closer to your ear, barely being able to hear him at the other line due to the loud noise the rain made as it mercilessly pattered onto the asphalt. It was already soaking through your hair and bright white gown, not only wetting, but also dirtying the garment in which you were supposed to walk down the aisle in a few hours.

This downpour was the forerunner of autumn, and the next season was approaching early this year. The sudden drop in temperature made you shiver, but you hadn’t been able to grab a jacket before running out of the venue. Since it was still early in the morning, you had been all alone while trying on the gown and waiting for the others - the possible worst mistake you could have made on the day of your wedding. Suddenly, panic had taken over you and you felt like you couldn’t breathe anymore.

Taeyong didn’t ask questions over the phone, he only wanted to know, “Where are you now?”

“At-... at the wedding venue…”

“I’ll be there.”

You were waiting under a tree in the driveway, silently praying that none of the employees you had hired for your big day would start their shift so early except for the ones who had opened the venue for you. To them, you had said you needed some fresh air and dismissed all questions about why you ran out into the pouring rain in your wedding gown and with no umbrella for protection.

Tires squealed when a black car came to a halt in front of you. Either he had been incredibly fast or you had been too swept up in your thoughts while waiting. Nonetheless, you ruffled the long tulle skirt around your waist and sprinted through the rain right to the vehicle where the door already opened for you from the inside, collecting the meters and meters of fabric until every inch of the pompous dress fitted with you on the seat.

As soon as the door fell closed, you felt like a huge burden had been lifted off your shoulders, like you had finally gotten rid of a pesky chaser. But today was your wedding day, and no one was supposed to feel like this on their own wedding day.

“Thank you.”

“Where to?” Taeyong asked, the car already moving.

He was not dressed according to his duty today as the best man, but casually as though he had quickly thrown some clothes together before driving here. He was a night owl, partying very often and very hard, and you only now noticed that at this time of the day, he probably only came home from a club. Or threw out a woman.

“Just… away, please.”

“There is a jacket in the backseat. Take it.”

“Thank you.”

You turned around and reached for the leather jacket that was sprawled out behind the driver’s seat. At first, you were reluctant in case it was from one of his flings who had forgotten it here, but as you put it on, it hung way too loose around your upper body, indicating that this really was Taeyong’s after all.

You shivered a bit less with the jacket on and your heart felt lighter as well the further you drove away from the venue, the view onto the building already blurred by the rain in the rear mirror. Good, just far away from it, anywhere was fine. You hadn’t chosen this venue yourself anyway, just like the dress. Everything was so big, too much, too pretentious. You hadn’t wanted this all.

The gown’s fabric felt wet and heavy in your hands and you tried to place it in a way that would make it easier for you to sit while Taeyong was driving silently, not uttering a word, not even throwing side glances at you. If it were Jaehyun sitting next to you, he would have already bombarded you with questions as to why you had run away from the venue at such short notice.

But Taeyong didn’t inquire about anything. That was the reason why you had called for him in the first place and not for anyone else. You had never had some kind of relationship. He would not bother you, he would not try to sympathize with your situation.

Time passed, having enveloped you in silence until the car came to a halt right in front of a place you had only been to once when you had lost your keys and Jaehyun was out of town. Even back then, you had only spoken the bare minimum to each other as he had thrown the keys out of his window with you catching it on the street.

“I figured the last place anyone would ever search for you was at mine.”

He was right. Nobody would search for a runaway bride at the groom’s younger brother’s home she had never formed a bond with.

The rainfall hadn’t stopped, and you found it ironic that after weeks of pure sunshine, it rained only on this day like it was some kind of bad omen. You left the car after Taeyong, the long tulle skirt more of a hindrance than you had expected, but he was by your side within seconds and held the door open so that you could get out without stumbling.

With hurried steps, you then followed him inside the building, the smell of mold and old furniture instantly meeting your nose. Taeyong didn’t live in a modern penthouse like you and Jaehyun, but in a single apartment at the other side of the city where you would usually never step foot in. Yet, it was the most secure place for you right now.

Reaching the third floor by foot, your wedding gown now felt as heavy as though the fabric was made of bricks. You stood awkwardly by the door after entering while Taeyong walked further into his flat without waiting for you.

“You coming?” He asked, turning his head back to you, his gaze lazy. “What are you waiting for?”

The tips of his platinum blonde dyed hair were wet as well from helping you out of the car, and he already had a towel around his shoulders where the small droplets fell on. You had always been fascinated by this unconventional color and his courage to just go through with it. Only now, you admitted to yourself that he pulled it off quite well.

You set one foot after another, slipping out of your sneakers that you then neatly placed next to the door. Despite this place not being yours and having other rules or no rules at all, you stuck to your routines before following Taeyong into the living room.

“Wait here,” he said and disappeared into the room behind the living room which you assumed was where he slept before coming out a minute later with a staple of clothes and a towel in his hands. “Here. I figured you would want to take a shower and change your clothes.”

He was right. “Thank you. And I’m sorry about ruining your leather jacket.”

“Don’t worry about that. The bathroom is over there.”

You took the new clothings and the towel into your arms and went to where he was pointing his finger at. Surprisingly, it was the cleanest bathroom you had ever been in, even challenging yours. You hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be the neat type like you. But then again, you didn’t know him at all, so you had no right to be taken aback when you were so judgemental.

You first took off Taeyong’s leather jacket and started shivering all over again. It smelled like Taeyong himself - of lemongrass and ginger. Very manly, very significant. You knew because his car had also smelled of that and he left a faint scent wherever he went for years.

“You need help?” Taeyong asked, peeking into the bathroom as you hadn’t closed the door yet.

“Can you help me unzip the gown, please?”

“Sure.”

You didn’t know how you had gotten into it yourself, but taking off a dress was sometimes much harder than getting into one, especially as this one was a custom. You had never quite liked the heart neckline without straps, how tight the corset hugged around your cleavage and the meters of tulle that spread out like a cupcake from your waist downwards. It was excessive and flamboyant. It just wasn’t you.

You turned your back to Taeyong, and his fingers felt warm against your skin when he took the zip into his hand and pulled it all down.

“Thank you.”

“It doesn’t suit you anyway,” he deadpanned on his way out.

“... what?”

“The dress.”

“I don’t need an insult now, Taeyong,” you sighed. “It’s not the time.”

“It was not an insult,” he cleared up monotonously. “I was just indicating that a more classic wedding dress would have suited you much better.”

A classic wedding dress, hm. A dress made of rich silk in the color of ivory that hugged you at the right parts and flowed down in an a-line. That was what you had dreamed of as well. But Jaehyun and your families had always pictured something else for you.

“I think so too,” you admitted before you closed the door behind you.

____

Five hours before the wedding

You stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of gray sweats that hung loose around your waist and a white t-shirt that was way too big for you too as they all belonged to Taeyong. But at least you had been able to get rid of that dress you hated so much.

You still dried your wet hair with a towel, smelling of lemongrass and ginger yourself now as you had used Taeyong’s shower gel. He was sitting in the kitchen preparing some rice and side dishes as you walked in.

“I don’t own a hair dryer, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine without one. What are you doing?”

“Breakfast. I don’t know whether you’ve eaten yet or if you’re hungry at all. But I am… and just in case you’re too… I’m trying my best with what I already have.”

Breakfast consisted of leftover rice, fried eggs and some pickled tomatoes, but you were still grateful for him to stand in the kitchen and make all these despite not having expected guests.

“Thank you.”

“Please stop thanking me,” Taeyong urged when he placed the rice on two different bowls and brought them over to the table. Then, the eggs and tomatoes on other ones. “I lost count on how many times you thanked me already within the past hour. More than in all those years combined.”

“You’ve never given me any reason to thank you in the first place.”

He glared at you.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate,” you apologized sincerely. “I should be grateful for your hospitality.”

He simply ignored it. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

You took a seat opposite of him and put some eggs and tomatoes on your rice. It was a simple dish, but only now you realized how hungry you actually were since you hadn’t been able to eat anything since last evening - out of excitement. Or fear. You weren’t quite able to distinguish these two yet.

Suddenly, Taeyong’s phone started vibrating. But instead of looking at it, he looked at you while chewing. “Where is your phone?”

Your eyes widened, and in reflex, you touched the pockets of your joggers. “I assume I lost it while running to your car, or in this thick dress, I don’t know. My family must already be at the venue for the preparations though, and I’m supposed to be there too by now. They must be worried.”

Taeyong’s eyes darted to his phone, then back to you. “It's your mother. I should buy you some time to figure out what to do next.”

“But why is she calling you?”

“I suppose she called everyone else already.”

Until now, the damage that you had done hadn’t dawned on you yet. But for your mother to call Taeyong, she must be worried sick.

“You want to talk to her yourself?”

“No. I still need to collect… my thoughts.”

“Okay.” Taeyong picked up his phone and greeted your mother. “I also don’t know where she is, I’m sorry… Perhaps, she’s gone to the tailor to get something on her dress fixed… Yes I will call when I know. Bye.”

Now, you were the one who glared at him, chewing angrily. “That’s the best you could come up with? Doesn’t sound so plausible or something that could take hours.”

“You should thank me in case you decide to show back up there. We can go anytime you want and nobody needs to know about your… temporary breakout.”

“It’s not temporary. I won’t be showing up at all,” you confessed reluctantly and placed the fork back on the top of the bowl after only a few bites, suddenly not feeling hungry at all anymore. The following words took you much overcoming. “I’m just collecting my thoughts to put them into the right words and tell him, them all. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing again?” He carried on with eating as though you hadn’t just dropped a bombshell.

“Because I’m blowing up a wedding that’s been the highlight for so many people. The guests, the money, the-”

“Screw the money, it will all come back,” Taeyong interrupted. “And screw the people. It’s not their wedding, it doesn’t matter what anyone else feels. It’s your decision alone.” Taeyong’s voice was calm and he put another bite of side dishes on his rice, appearing totally unfazed even though it clearly involved his brother. It was his wedding too.

You didn’t dare to dig deeper, to question what he exactly meant with that, why he was so supportive and didn’t talk you out of it, dragging you down the aisle himself if he must. Did he think he dodged a bullet and was secretly happy to finally get rid of you? Then why had he driven you all the way here and didn’t kick you out into the pouring rain again?

The rest of the breakfast was taken in silence and you volunteered to do the dishes. You didn’t leave it at that though and proceeded to not only clean the table, but also the tiles around the stove, although everything was already very spic and span. You just needed something to do until you knew how to proceed with the day. By the time you were done, your hair was also dry.

“You know you’re a guest and not my cleaning lady, right? Besides, it’s already very clean here,” Taeyong dropped in passing, peeking into the kitchen.

“It helps me get occupied and think about what to do next.”

“Don’t forget the refrigerator if you’re already at it, I never come around to do it myself.”

You stuck out your tongue, but couldn’t help it and bit down a chuckle.

____

Four hours before the wedding

With wrinkled fingers, you stepped into the living room where Taeyong was seated on the couch, watching TV. Your dress had found its way from the bathroom to a hanger by the door, a bit cleaner, but not less wet than before. Taeyong must have brought it out while you were occupied in the kitchen.

“I assumed you would want to store it and let it dry until then.” He looked up to you. “That is… if you still want to keep it.” His look was wary, but full of expectation.

“I want to burn it.” Taeyong, who had always been the reckless and the most unratable person you knew, was now the one getting startled. “I don’t want to wear it ever again. I don’t even want to look at it.”

He hesitated. “I’ll put it away, okay?”

Taeyong stood up and took the dress with the hanger from the door. He brought it over to his bedroom so that it was out of your sight. At the very same moment, his cell phone began to ring. Your mother again, as you saw on the display. Of course, the time of the ceremony was drawing closer and there was no sight of the bride herself.

“What should I say this time?” Taeyong wanted to know from you upon his return.

“That the wedding today won’t happen.”

While you were in the kitchen, you had had enough time to think this all through. Your wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of your life, not the most miserable one. There were no right words to tell your mother that you weren’t getting married anymore though, so you should just go with it by heart. You agreed on Taeyong inventing something until you got your phone back and were able to call your mother.

“I also don’t know where she is now anymore, I just heard from a friend… No, I don’t remember which one,” were the words you heard Taeyong speak in the bedroom while you sat on the couch, staring at the TV that was still running, but not quite absorbing the flickering pictures. “I’m supposed to meet with Jaehyun in an hour at the venue. I’ll be there soon, then we can talk.”

When Taeyong returned, he was already fully dressed with his shoes on and then reached for the leather jacket that you had worn shortly before. The keys were dangling in his fingers. “I will look for your phone at the spot where I picked you up. And they haven’t told my brother yet that you’re still not there, so I have to hurry before they break it down to him in the most insensitive way possible.”

Brother… Of course. How could you have been so ignorant and made it all about you? Jaehyun was Taeyong’s brother. The sole fact that you were here and seeking shelter probably already put him into a conflict of interest. Now, you even demanded him to do the dirty job for you. He should stay with his brother, supporting him throughout this hard time. Instead, you had forced yourself onto him, the one responsible for this entire turmoil.

“I… I am the one who isn’t supposed to be here,” you murmured more to yourself than to him. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this… I was so selfish. I should go back and explain it to everyone, I should just… I should… I’ll fix this myself now.”

Like in a trance, you put your feet from the couch back on the ground, preparing yourself to leave, but Taeyong held you back by your shoulder. His hand dropped down to your arm until they found your cold palm, his fingers enclosing around yours in a reassuring gesture.

“Do you feel like going there?” His gaze was impenetrable, a great contrast to his comforting touch. Both possible responses could be right and wrong. “Answer me honestly, do you feel like seeing my brother? And I’m not referring to today. Do you feel like spending your life my brother… at all?”

“No.”

This answer came quickly and honestly, and Taeyong decided to act on it before you could change your mind. He arose, but this time it was you who held him back by his hand, scared to let go of him. Your expression showed desperation, and a bit of hope. You didn’t want him to go. You didn’t want to be alone right now.

And as though he was able to read your thoughts, he said, in the most tender tone you had ever witnessed him use with his thumb gently brushing over the back of your hand, “I’ll be back shortly, I promise.”

____

Three hours before the wedding

Taeyong’s lifestyle was entirely different from yours, the life you lived with Jaehyun. You were minimalistic, modern and followed an industrial interior design. Taeyong’s was a chaotic mess, he didn’t follow any style at all.

While his kitchen was kept unoccupied and clean just like his bathroom where you had even noticed every etiquette of a bottle facing in the same direction, his living room was blocked with cabinets, shelves and even showcases where he displayed a collection of shoes and different figurines, some you recognized as animes as well as lego from different series and franchises.

Also in the living room, next to the big TV, he had set up his gaming corner with three different screens. On the other side, something you oddly only noticed now, he kept fishes in a big tank. You hadn’t been aware that he was taking care of animals - a trait you had always been assured of said a lot about people: that they treated others with respect, that they were caring and endearing. Basically everything you hadn’t pegged Taeyong to be.

Since you were already on your feet, you made your way to the bedroom. You assumed that since you’ve seen everything else, he wouldn’t mind that as well with your wedding dress hanging in there anyway. In contrast to his living room though, his bedroom was free of most nick nacks. The bed was huge and unmade, but the many blankets and pillows looked very inviting. There were dumb bells on a yoga mat next to the window and aside from that, a huge closet that spread across the wall, with tids and bits of fabric peeking through the doors that seemed to barely close anymore.

You sat down on the bed, the mattress giving in under you. On the nightstand, there was a small lamp and a book. Upon closer inspection and picking it up, you recognized it was a book to learn English, and it had sat upon a pack of condoms that was already opened.

You rolled your eyes and wondered if, shortly before he had made his way to you, a woman was lying in here, hoping for a lazy morning but got thrown out. You put the book back on the package and flopped onto the bed. While staring at the ceiling, you listened to the rain still pattering against the window. Today had been a bad day to get married outside anyway.

As you laid there and slowly drifted off to sleep, you wondered when you had stopped imagining a life with Jaehyun.

____

Two hours before the wedding

“Jaehyun is a fool, what’s new.”

You started from your sleep, suppressing a gasp at the last minute. The bedroom’s door was only slightly ajar when you sat up, but you clearly heard people coming into the apartment and only counted yourself lucky to not be in their view right now.

One voice belonged to Taeyong. The other, clearly to his father.

“Don’t talk about your brother like this,” the elderly man chided. “Jaehyun is still keeping his hopes up, you should support him. Lately, she does these kinds of things, he told me. Like going clubbing with her friends and coming home only early in the morning. He had to talk her out of it as she’s a grown woman already. She even considered requesting a sabbatical at work and traveling the world. Jaehyun had to tell her to keep her stable job during such times. Also, she wanted to pick new furniture for their home, but he had to prohibit her that as they just recently moved in. In the end, Jaehyun knows her better. He’s positive she will still show up. Eventually, she always comes to her senses, that’s what he told me. She always does.”

This entire conversation made you so angry, your blood was boiling. You had never looked at it from this perspective. Eventually, you would come to your senses? Perhaps, that was the problem. You shouldn’t come to your senses in the first place. You had thought you would do Jaehyun a favor by listening to him, but when have you ever done yourself a favor?

“Why did he insist on you coming with me then?” They had already reached the living room as Taeyong asked this.

“He thinks she might be coming over here at some point if not to the venue first, so he remained there and wanted me to wait here.”

“Why would she come over to my place?” Taeyong’s voice oozed with suspicion. “And even if, I could bring her too, there was no need for you to follow me here.” Your heart pounded against your chest so hard, you feared they would hear it.

“Jaehyun said that it’s because when she gets cold feet, she will flee to the one person who won’t judge her, but not to her best friend as everyone would suspect her being there. I’m here to make sure to talk to her in a way that you won’t be able to.”

Taeyong snorted. “As you implied, we never had any kind of relationship, she would never seek shelter with me in the first place.” He was kind of a good liar, you had to admit.

“You might not have some sort of relationship,” his father explained calmly, “but you have some kind of mutual understanding going on between you two. You laugh at the same things, you brood over the same things, you argue over the same things. So Jaehyun was afraid you might hold her back and support her decision to cancel the wedding.”

“We barely even speak. Why would he feel that way?” Taeyong responded with much confusion, and you felt the same.

“This, he never told me directly, but I can see too.”

“I have no right to judge her decision and you don’t have one either. If she wants to cancel the wedding, then she has every right to do so.”

“See? That was why I was supposed to come here. In the end, Jaehyun knows better.”

Silence.

“Excuse me for a bit, I’ll go get changed into dry clothes, okay?”

You slid from the bed and hid by the corner in the opposite direction of where he would enter. Taeyong spotted you right away and closed the door behind him. He put his index finger to his lips, gesturing you to stay silent and pulled something out of the pocket of his jeans. It was your phone.

You knew what you had to do. You had to call Jaehyun and tell him that there wouldn’t be a ceremony at this point, that he shouldn’t hold his hopes up anymore. This much, you owed him and everyone that was supposed to join the wedding today. But it was just so hard.

Tears burnt behind your eyes. Always, Jaehyun took care of the complicated things in your life such as doing taxes or asking for a refund. When it came down to these kinds of situations, you weren’t the strong, independent women you wanted to turn into anymore. You needed somebody’s help.

Taeyong withdrew the phone upon encountering your exasperated expression and went over to his closet where he pulled out some clothes to change into. You didn’t know why you hadn’t noticed before, but in the closet, next to your wedding dress, hung his suit that he was supposed to wear as a best man. But he didn’t touch that.

Instead, Taeyong pulled his wide hoodie over his head along with the t-shirt that he wore underneath and revealed his muscular back to you upon changing. His muscles tensed and strained as he reached for a new shirt and dragged it over his torso. In only these few seconds, you had spotted a few tattoos you had never seen before. When had he gotten them and what were their meaning? You were curious and fascinated by a man who you had known for so long and still not at all.

When Taeyong turned around to you, he had typed an entire message into your phone and held it in front of you.

“I can’t marry you. I’m sorry.”

Short and painful. Just how you felt in reality. You nodded, and he sent the message.

____

One hour before the wedding

Taeyong’s father left after only five more minutes. Jaehyun had called him, and judging by the way Taeyong now spoke heatedly into his phone as well, you assumed that the news about the bride canceling the wedding over a text had already reached all attendees while your own phone was turned off with everyone now supposing you were at your best friend’s house who luckily covered for you.

You knew Jaehyun deserved better as well as everyone involved. But you just weren’t there yet. When it came down to conflicts, you were never the confronting type and always let others fight these battles for you. Just like Taeyong at this moment. And he did it willingly and with much passion, you just didn’t know why. The Taeyong who ignored you, made snarky remarks and only turned his attention to you when there was something to laugh about or mock you with wouldn’t do all that.

“Alright, alright. Yeah, I will call you should I receive news. Bye.” Drawing out a long breath, Taeyong flopped on the couch next to you. He was exhausted, his mouth dry from all the talking he had done in the past hour.

You almost didn’t dare ask. “And…?”

“It’s all canceled.” He sounded annoyed. “They already dismantled the setting outside and sent everyone home.”

You hadn’t meant that. “I meant…”

“How Jaehyun is?” Taeyong almost snapped, and you flinched at his sudden change in demeanor. “I haven’t spoken to him. But you know my brother as well as me. He tries to keep his composure and help wherever he can, no matter how hard it’s been on him. That’s how he is, my brother, the golden child. Even not letting his feelings slip when he’s hurt to the core.”

He was mad, and despite him trying to keep his composure, you couldn’t hold it against him. He had every right to be angry at what you had done to his family and partially dragged him into it.

“I know I owe him an apology and an explanation,” you admitted.

He briefly added, “More than that.”

“What am I supposed to say to him? I don’t know yet. All I knew the moment I left the venue was that I didn’t want to get married to him and that it was the most painful and most selfish thing I have done.”

“What about the entire truth?”

“The entire truth reaches deeper than not wanting to get married today.” You fell back into silence, shifting awkwardly in your seating position. But you didn’t need to speak further. Again, Taeyong seemed to sense what was exactly going on inside of you.

“Ah,” he then declared with feigned festivity. “There it is. The girl who was practically forced into a relationship with the first nice guy she met and slowly discovers that there is more to the world than marrying your high school boyfriend and living a modest life in the suburbs, getting married and having kids.”

“There is no reason to be so nasty about it,” you hissed.

“I bet you haven’t had sex in a year, am I right?” he continued mercilessly, and your stomach churned, making you suddenly feel so sick. “Or at least not in the way you want to. Always, you have only liked it reserved, in the conventional positions. I bet you haven’t tried it out from behind or with a grip around your neck. You don’t dare to speak it out to anyone, but that’s what you desire deep inside.”

How could you have possibly thought that coming here was a good idea? That for once, Taeyong was able to behave like a decent human being. He was as cruel and vile as ever.

His face then fell upon realizing the damage he had caused with his words. “Hey, I-”

But you were already out of the door, stomping down the stairs and back into the pouring rain. The wet droplets felt sharp in your face, like cold whips that also slung around your arms. You tried to protect your head from the rainfall with your hands that you spanned over your brows, but it had little to no effect.

You didn’t know for how long you had been walking when a black car halted next to you. By now, you were freezing, but you kept walking while he rolled down the window and matched the vehicle’s speed to your steps.

“Hey.”

Taeyong kept following you with the car, you walking on the pavement, him driving on the street next to you.

“Please stop.”

“No. You’re an asshole, Lee Taeyong.”

“I know,” he agreed. “But please get in the car. You’re catching a cold.”

You stilled, rain mercilessly coming down on you as though taking a second shower.

“Please…” he begged.

Muted, you turned over and opened the door. Just like mere hours before, you found yourself sitting in the passenger’s seat, soaked from head to toe, but this time not in your wedding gown anymore. After you had settled yourself, Taeyong didn’t restart the car though. You both kept staring at the window in front of you, barely seeing anything through the curtain of rain, but only listening to the sound of it.

After a while, Taeyong opened his mouth. “A year ago, my girlfriend left me.”

The confession took you by surprise. “I didn’t know you were in a relationship…”

“How would you? We barely know anything about each other’s life. I bet my brother also wouldn’t drop this news as he knew you wouldn’t be interested in hearing them.” His grip was still tight around the steering wheel, the knuckles of his fingers turning white, that was how tense he was. “But I was very much in love. I had even imagined myself marrying her. Can you imagine that? Me and marrying?”

Almost unnoticeably, you shook your head. “You were always… so free, independant, uncommitted. My total…”

“... opposite,” he ended your sentence. “Exactly. Yet, I met a girl that I loved so much, I imagined myself as a husband. But before I got the chance to propose, she broke it off with me.”

“... Why?”

“Because I wasn’t what she wanted. In the long run, it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, I realized. She only did what was best for us, even though it was painful and selfish at that moment, and I hated her very much for it. You can almost say a year ago, I was Jaehyun.”

“I put you in a conflict of interest, I know.” You dropped your head. “You can tell me to go, and I will go right now. I imposed myself on you like that. You have every right to send me away. I won’t be mad.”

“Don’t even think about it. Love makes you do crazy things. Sometimes, you have to do things that seem wrong from the outside but you know are right. I went through it already, I know both sides, that’s why I truly understand your feelings and empathize with them.”

“I still don’t understand why you’re with me and not Jaehyun if you were in his shoes back then. Basically, I’m like your ex now.”

“Because I know Jaehyun will be okay eventually. He always has everything under control.” The corner of his lip curled up, adding sorrow to his mien. “But do you?”

You had no answer to that. You knew it was the right decision, but continuing with your life all by yourself from now on was something you hadn’t put too much thought into. For ten years, you had someone by your side. How would it be now?

Taeyong continued nearly seamlessly, “I should have faced you with more understanding as I was already in such a situation, I’m honestly sorry for going off like that before. It just… reopened old sores.”

Taeyong apologizing to you was something you had never expected to witness in this lifetime. “Thank you for telling me.”

“You thanking me again.” You looked at each other, and there was a smile displayed on his lips that was almost light-hearted this time. “That’s probably something that will never change about you.”

“Do you think I’m a goody two shoes?” You didn’t know what made you want to hear his opinion, but for the first time since you had known each other, you were having a decent, serious conversation. “Please be honest.”

“Are you kidding? Of course you are!” He laughed, and it was so high-pitched, it sounded like the windshields in the rain. You almost chuckled too. “That was why you matched so well with my brother as he is one too. You both have dreamed of the same things… marriage, a family, a house in the suburbs… children. But apparently, you’re not satisfied with all that anymore.”

You leaned back in your seat, slowly relaxing. “Was that also the case for you and your ex?”

“She wanted everything you wanted in the past. I’m not any of that. But with the past year, I figured that marriage has nothing to do with pursuing the same goals, you know.” He tried to provide you with another perspective on things. “If you love someone, you marry them. It takes nothing more. You only have to be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, no matter what is about to come. The rest will fall into place, you have to have faith.”

“And she didn’t feel the same way about you. Just like I don’t feel the same way about Jaehyun.” The scales fell from your eyes. “It has nothing to do with wanting different things in life. I just don’t want a life with Jaehyun anymore.”

“See. Don’t worry about what our father said. It’s okay if you want to try yourself out, venturing into different things. Nobody should hold you back on that. If you meet a person who’s willing to go through all of that with you, then you have nothing to worry about.”

A few silent beats passed before you directed a question at him out of curiosity. “What is it that you want in your life, Taeyong?”

“If only I would know, hm?” When had you ever encountered him being so blunt, so raw and so earnest? “Perhaps, I want to change jobs. Perhaps, I want to join a band. Perhaps, I want to travel to Italy. Perhaps, I want to work at a pet shop, because I love animals so much. I just don’t know.”

This time, it was you who laughed and he joined with that high-pitched tone again. You couldn’t imagine Taeyong working in a pet shop, cleaning hamster cages and playing with dogs. On the other hand, when you imagined a grumpy Taeyong surrounded by playful kittens who were crawling all over him, you had a vivid picture in your mind that brought a heartfelt smile forward within you.

“What about you?” he directed the question back.

“Me?” You pondered over it for a while as you had never been asked this. “I don’t know. I seriously don’t know. I only know that I don’t want to continue living this life anymore. I feel like… I’m in a cage, and if I imagine that every day I have to live like this, it’s suffocating me.”

“It’s okay to not have your whole life mapped out anymore, to not know what you want, what the next day will bring. Nobody expects it from you. Just take one day at a time, baby steps.”

“Jaehyun does. And my parents as well as yours.”

“Then you have to start living your life for yourself, not for others.”

Taeyong then started the car, and for the first time you got the impression that the rain was slowly simmering out and it got brighter outside. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore.

“At home, you’re gonna change clothes again. And then we’re going to order food.”

“Wait… please drop me off at my… home first.” Taeyong didn’t let it slip, but from the corner of your eyes, you witnessed his brow raise. “I learned many things from our conversation. Among all things, the most important lesson was to be honest, to yourself and to others. I need to meet Jaehyun.”

“I second that.”

“Perhaps, this one is going to be more painful than what I did this morning.”

Taeyong swerved the curve and dropped nearly absent-mindedly, “I think canceling the wedding was not only the most painful and selfish thing that you have done. I also think it was the most courageous and liberating thing that you have done. Just like this one will be. Think about it.”

You took it as the compliment it was.

_____

Time of the wedding

“You want me to come with you?”

You shook your head. “I already am indebted to you so much for letting me stay a few more days. I’m just gonna pick up a few clothes and wait. I already wrote to him.”

“Alright. I’ll wait in the car.” You had your fingers closed around the handle already. “And please quickly change clothes, you’ll catch a cold.”

“I will.”

It was odd coming back to your own home when you knew your entire life was about to change as opposed to this morning when you had left and still believed you would come back as a married woman. Now, you didn’t even know who you were and where your home was. But it was certainly not here, you sensed it clearly.

Everything felt foreign and off, and as you let your eyes wander over the cream colored furniture and the walls in the same boring colors, you knew exactly why this didn’t feel like your home anymore. It was and had always been Jaehyun’s home solely.

Jaehyun had picked the district, the apartment, the colors, the furniture. Everything was so clean and neat, almost sterile, there were no personal touches to the interior, the only picture being one of you two set on a small dresser with a few candles and books of yours that you had been allowed to display, everything else was designer, getting taken care of by a cleaning lady that came twice a week.

You wished back the chaotic cleanliness of Taeyong’s home, the noises of the aquarium, the different furniture, colors and patterns thrown together, and where every corner had his personal handwriting all over it. As well as the faint scent of lemongrass and ginger lingering in the air.

Suddenly, it felt like the monotonous cream colored walls were slowly drawing closer to you, leaving you little to no time until they would crush you entirely. Despite the minimalist style, you felt the invisible narrowness of the atmosphere, and if you didn’t hurry up, it would swallow you whole. But you had to remain here to cleanly put an end to your ten year long relationship.

You fled into the bedroom that was a bit more playful with light blue walls where you shook off Taeyong’s clothes and slipped into your own ones, a pair of leggings and a tight top over which you threw an oversized cardigan. In a mid-sized backpack, you stuffed in a few shirts, pants, underwear and your toiletries. You crammed Taeyong’s borrowed wet clothes into a plastic bag that you wanted to put into the backpack too, but dropped it immediately back on the bed when you heard the entry door open.

With your backpack over your shoulder, you slowly stepped back into the living room. Your heart was almost jumping out of your chest as you moved, but when Jaehyun rounded around the corner, his appearance set an end to the steady rhythm. The whole world went still, absorbing every motion, every sound except for the ones your voices were going to make.

Nobody prepared you for a breakup when you were the one to initiate it. There was no right way, there were only inappropriate ones, one of them including limiting the act to text messages only. If any of this hadn't happened, you would run into each other’s arms, hugging and probably even kissing. But now, you only stood in front of each other and stared at the other in silence.

Jaehyun was distressed and tired, but like always, he didn’t want to let it show. You knew him so well though, you looked right through his facade. “Where are you going?”

An eligible question that you didn’t want to answer in all honesty. “To my best friend’s house.”

“Okay.” He sucked in a rush of air. “You need anything else?”

You shook your head. “I got everything I need.”

This entire conversation was bizarre. Somehow, you had hoped for more, but somehow, you were thankful that there wasn’t more that he demanded from you. Perhaps, everything had already been said between you two. Perhaps, nothing had been said, but you both understood:

That you weren’t made and good for each other anymore. That you two deserved other people by your side and that you had only been together because it had been conventional and what your parents had expected from you. That it wouldn’t have worked out in the long run if you two had married despite all that.

“I’m sorry, Jaehyun.”

He smiled mildly, but probably only due to exhaustion. “Don’t be.”

As you had spoken those words out and listened to Jaehyun’s answer, you wondered if you actually were sorry. In fact, you didn’t feel anything at this moment.

“We both saw it coming, Jaehyun,” you tried to approach the situation. “We’ve been together since high school. We went to university and more school, and we didn’t have time to focus on dating anyone else. We stayed together because… we didn’t really see a reason why not. We were comfortable, we were happy enough. And things have been fine between us.”

He responded, “If you hadn’t canceled the wedding, if you had stood there today, saying ‘I do’, even with these sad eyes of yours, I would have accepted that with my entire heart. I would have gone on, pretending everything was okay as long as we could pretend to be happy as well. But I haven’t been for a long time already as well.” He paused, then confessed, “I’ve met someone else.”

“I see.” The words didn’t hurt you, and you didn’t hold it against him. Again, you felt nothing as he rested his gaze on your face, inspecting your reaction.

“I swear,” he defended himself, “that I never cheated on you. I dodged every conversation with her, I didn’t even look at her longer than I needed. I just… couldn’t do this to you. But just her presence…” He stopped speaking, but you felt what he felt.

Jaehyun was a reputable and respectful man. Of course he would have never cheated on you, you were always certain of that, even now. Whatever he had begun feeling for that woman, he was still keeping it locked inside of him, because he believed you two would work out. And partly also because he didn’t have the courage to end things once and for all.

The worst thing was that sometimes, you were thinking that if you had met someone who you felt passionate about like him, you would have wanted to leave him earlier. You weren’t nearly as reputable and respectful as Jaehyun.

“You were still in love with the seventeen year old girl from back then, but I’m not that girl anymore,” you slowly explained, almost too factual with no true emotions. “If you love someone, you marry them, and the rest will fall into place as long as you’re certain that you want to stay together for the rest of your lives. I couldn’t marry you today because I can’t imagine a life with you anymore.”

Jaehyun’s brow twitched and he opened his mouth as though he had so much to retort. But in the end, he gave it all up and said, “You can have this place. I’m just gonna stay at Taeyong’s in the meantime.”

You froze, but kept your composure. “I don’t want it. Your family bought it for us, so it should stay with you. And in all honesty… this place doesn’t feel like my home anymore anyway. Like I said, I’m gonna stay at my best friend’s until I find something for myself.”

Something seemed to bother him, but he didn’t let slip what exactly, and you were thankful he didn’t push the topic. “Okay, do as you wish.”

“I’ll let you know when I’ll come back to get all my belongings. Probably as soon as I’ve settled somewhere.”

Jaehyun nodded.

The straps of your backpack suddenly seemed to leave burn marks on your shoulders. You still felt the urge to continue with this conversation, and Jaehyun gave off the appearance of wanting to do the same, but you both seemingly withdrew as you didn’t know what you were supposed to add anymore.

Perhaps, you would someday have a long session where you poured out all your feelings. Perhaps, you would never talk to each other again. But this conversation ended here and now, at the exact time you were supposed to say “I do” to each other.

In the end, you only brought yourself to wish him well. “I… I hope it will work out for you.”

“I hope so for you as well.”

You raised a brow as his wording seemed off. You had never indicated that you were already meeting someone else. As always, he most likely only wanted to be polite.

As you walked down the hallway with heavy steps, away from the life possibly every woman could dream of, you still didn’t feel anything. No emotions, nothing. Was this the price you had to pay? Would you be numb to feeling anything ever again in your life?

____

Two hours after the wedding

“I’m gonna take a shower real quick as I didn’t have time this morning,” Taeyong announced. “When the delivery guy comes, can you open the door?”

“Sure thing.”

After Taeyong had disappeared in the bathroom, you remained on the couch, scrolling through your phone. It was blowing up, but you didn’t care as your best friend covered for you without asking a single question except for cocking a brow when you had admitted to her where you were currently residing.

“The brother you hate so much?” she had asked. “The one with the blonde hair, excessive taste in fashion, sexy piercings and godly tattoos?”

“Odd description. But yes, him.”

A long pause followed. Then, she giggled. “Keep me updated.”

You weren’t sure what to make of this sentence. “Thank you for everything.”

“Sure thing! Your parents almost beat a path to my door, but I think I can still hold them back from coming over. Will I get the full story soon?”

“Of course.”

“Okay. And just between us… I think it was the right decision.”

You had then hung up on each other.

Another call from your mother followed, but you swiped this away as well, then decided to turn off your phone entirely. You wouldn’t need it anyway today and hoped that, except for your nagging family, everyone else would understand that you quite weren’t in a position to talk right now.

You heard the water running before turning your attention back to the TV. Shortly later, the food arrived by the door, and you thanked the delivery guy, tipped him, and brought the bag into the kitchen.

“Can we eat in front of the TV?” you yelled, waiting for an answer.

“I’d rather not to!” Taeyong yelled back from the bathroom.

You whispered to yourself while setting the table, “Okay, Mister super clean.”

“I heard that.”

Taeyong stood in front of you the next moment, only a pair of joggers hanging loosely around his waist and a towel draped around his shoulders to catch the droplets of his wet hair. You barely noticed your eyes gazing up and down his naked upper body, and by the time you did, Taeyong had noticed it too.

Before you could read his expression though, you swiftly turned around, hiding your flushed cheeks and brushing it off. “Get dressed, then we can eat.”

Luckily, he also pretended he hadn’t noticed. “Okay.”

Dinner was eaten in silence after he came back dressed in a t-shirt, Taeyong purposely leaving you in peace after what had occured at your home. He supposedly assumed that you needed time to process your emotions. Except that there were still none.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about what happened back there,” Taeyong then stated after you had nearly finished. “I just want to know whether you’re okay. Are you?”

You chewed on your last bite and then swallowed it all down. “I am. Somehow, strangely, I truly am fine. But I just don’t know whether it’s the shock or whether the emotions haven’t really set in yet that I feel so… numb. I… don’t feel anything. That’s why I’m feeling fine.”

“You’re not feeling fine then,” Taeyong objected.

“I think it’s better than breaking down crying.”

“If you feel like that, you can do it here too.”

Something so excruciating and raw, you had only done in private. But somehow, you didn’t fear doing it in front of Taeyong either.

“I was in a good relationship with a good man, who wanted to marry and have kids and do all the things you’re supposed to do. People will think I am crazy for ending this all.” You stared at the pattern painted on the bowl in front of you, free from all the rice you had just picked out one by one. “I was always happy enough.”

Taeyong didn’t comment on that. He sat quietly at your opposite and listened.

“Sometimes, I hoped I could have something more than just fine. Someone who made me feel like I hung the moon. But I sort of stopped believing that existed. And I figured why not marry a man like Jaehyun? It had never been on my mind that there could be more. There was a hole in my heart I thought I could fix with doing all the things I missed out on. But it just wouldn’t shrink, no matter what I did. I knew that, if I married Jaehyun, the hole would swallow me whole. And then, Jaehyun told me he met someone else.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened just when you lifted your head and looked at him. He hadn’t known either.

“And now I am certain that there is someone who will place the moon in the sky for me. If Jaehyun can find someone like that, then I can too. I’m certain there is someone out there who can make me feel exactly like that, and it will be the love I’ve been looking for and last for a lifetime.”

“Someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, no matter how different you are, and the rest will fall into place if you have faith,” Taeyong referred to his statement from earlier that day.

You smiled. “Someone of whom I will know that I want to marry right away and not get cold feet.”

Taeyong cleared his throat and arose from his seat. “I’ll do the dishes. After that, I will prepare the bed for you to sleep in. And I accept no objections. For the time you’re here, you will sleep in my bed.”

You knew back talking had little to no effect. “Okay,” you then gave in, quietly thanking him for his generosity. “I can change the sheets myself later too, don’t worry about that.”

____

Four hours after the wedding

The rest of the evening, you spent sitting on the couch, on opposite ends, barely speaking to each other but just vibing. You felt very comfortable.

Taeyong fed his fishes and you asked whether they had names. They had. He had named every single one of them and was able to distinguish between them despite them looking all the same for you.

You asked about his figurine collection and his eyes suddenly started to sparkle. He went on about them and their backstory as well as the different legos and how long he had taken for each set.

You were astonished to find out that the pictures that hung on the walls had been painted by Taeyong himself. You hadn’t pegged him to be the artsy type, but again, he had surprised you.

There were still so many things about Taeyong you only discovered one by one.

For example, he was very caring as he brought you a blanket when he noticed how you shivered long after the sun had set. He was also very attentive as he unpacked your bag and put your clothes in a drawer that he had emptied for you. Taeyong was also very funny, knowing or unknowingly, and immensely passionate about the things he loved.

You thought that, if you ever got the chance to be someone else or change your life in the future, you would like to be more like him.

____

Five hours after the wedding

“I can change the sheets myself, don’t worry about that,” you told Taeyong when you felt tired enough to go to bed. Today had been hard on you too, and you couldn’t wait for a new morning to come, the sooner the better.

Stepping into Taeyong’s bedroom made you confront your wedding dress again that still hung exactly where he had put it. When you looked at it, you just felt so much anger - more emotions than on any other point of today. How come that when you put an end to your relationship, you didn’t feel anything, but a gown was able to summon so much hatred?

Quickly slipping out of your clothes, you put the dress back on. It reminded you of how little you had had to say about the wedding. How everyone had chosen the venue, the cake, the decorations, the dress and even the makeup and hairdo for your special day. The dress reminded you of how much of a human doormat you had been at this occasion and that ending your engagement also freed you from the cage you had been kept in.

You suddenly felt powerful, like you could take on the entire world. And it had only little to do with the dress you hated so much.

“Could you find the-”

Taeyong walked in on you standing in the middle of his bedroom in the still soaked wedding dress that he had picked you up in.

“I’ll give you a moment.”

“Wait!” You held him back. “This dress… embodies everything I hate about my former life. I have to break up with it too. I will take the hatred and forge it into something I envy you for, Taeyong.”

He raised his brows. “Which is?”

“Passion.” You smiled. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll get the scissors.”

You stopped him. “I want to do it with my bare hands.”

He snickered. “That’s fine for me too.”

The sound of fabric rustling and tearing filled the room, each one of you picking up one end of the dress’ skirt that consisted of meters and meters of tulle and just tore it all apart, tore on every edge that your fingers could grip on. And there were so, so many, your skin felt bruised when you took another and started ripping that one apart too until the skirt was nothing more than loose slips of fabrics that hung from your waist.

____

Six hours after the wedding

You both laid on Taeyong’s bed, side by side and exhausted from having treated such rich fabric with your bare hands. But he had been sitting with you through all of it, handling the process with just as much fervor and dedication.

“What do you feel?” Taeyong then asked you, staring at the ceiling that was now dipped into the semi-darkness of the night. The rain had stopped entirely, the bright light of the crescent moon that came through the dissolving clouds rendering the need for artificial light almost needless.

The torn gown rustled as you repositioned yourself, letting your naked legs slip through the curtain of strips that had once been the tulle skirt. “Like all steam is let out and there is nothing left anymore. And I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of never being able to feel anything again except for this hate that surfaces every now and then.”

“When you’re alone, that’s when the emotions set in and when it will get really hard.”

“What am I supposed to feel then, Taeyong? Can you tell me as you experienced this before?” You got up and he followed your motions, you both now facing the other from a seating position, your knees almost touching.

Somehow, this moment was very intense for you, and also very raw. You hadn’t shared such a heart-to-heart with anyone in a long time, and the person you did it with again was, out of all people, your ex fiancé’s brother who you apparently had more of an understanding with than the person you had been engaged to.

“Aside from hatred, perhaps sadness. Because despite you doing the right thing for yourself, you have let go of something that has once meant so much to you, so it’s okay to let yourself mourn for a while. But like I said, i-”

“I don’t feel sad,” you interrupted him, your voice on the brink of despair as you nearly cry-screamed “I just… don’t feel anything else except for hate! Why can’t I feel anything else?! I don’t want this, I don’t want to be full of hate, that’s not me! I need to feel something else! Make me feel something else! Taeyong, I-!”

The next thing you knew, you had a pair of lips pressed against yours and warm palms cupping your heated face. They were a very full and demanding pair of lips, a pair of lips that was not Jaehyun’s, but made your heart flutter in the same way your ex fiancé had once made, many years ago.

And that was it with your thoughts about Jaehyun for tonight, you swore to yourself as you wrapped your hands around Taeyong’s neck and settled yourself on his lap without breaking the kiss between you two. You weren’t able to remember when someone had last kissed you like this, when you had even thought of getting kissed like this, so passionately and deeply, it felt like you were getting devoured with all your soul.

And finally, after hours of numbness and hatred, you felt something. It was entirely different from what you had expected to feel. Not sadness. It was hunger. And it wanted to be fed.

Taeyong pulled away from you, and despite the semi darkness, you clearly saw in his eyes that he felt exactly what you felt, and that you perhaps were not the only person in this room who was still looking for something or someone greater.

“I’ll stop if you…”

His hands pressed into your sides, he didn’t ease his grip, but you knew he would do so in an instant when you told him to. But you didn’t.

“Please…” You looked into his hopeful eyes. “Don’t stop…”

He didn’t need to be told that twice. Taeyong licked over his lips in a way that got you really wet between your legs and pulled you down to him to lock your lips with his again.

You curled your fingers into the hem of his shirt and stripped it over his head in one swift motion. In the few moments that you were parted, you observed his tattoos in awe. You hadn’t really paid attention to them until now as you had never bothered with such details about him, but now you wanted to touch them all and know the backstory of each of them. But only later you would ask.

You sat up to give Taeyong access to his pants that he took off and then threw on the floor while you simultaneously got rid of your panties and dropped them next to his joggers. You also wanted to wiggle yourself out of your wedding dress with his help, but Taeyong stopped you with a look so sinister, it made you gulp and your mouth dry.

You didn’t need to ask what he wanted. He didn’t want you to take off the dress. If there was a best way to ruin a much hated wedding dress that you hadn’t even chosen yourself, then it was having sex in it with a person who wasn’t the groom.

And you were all on it for it as you straddled Taeyong, the ripped skirt of your dress draped all over the both of you. You rubbed yourself against him with your hands holding onto his shoulders while he placed tender kisses on the side of your neck, and you wondered how someone who was usually so mean to you could be so soft at the same time. Taeyong was still an enigma to you, but you wouldn’t mind taking it all apart tonight.

His full lips reached the raising of your breasts that were still hidden in the corset, but with several deft acts of his strong fingers, he had loosened the back so that he was now able to pull the neckline down. Throwing your head back, you let him lick over your nipples, wetting them with his tongue before he blew over them. It caused you to shudder, but before you were able to process what would happen next, he had already taken the sensitive spots into his mouth, sucking on them in turns and even occasionally biting into one, making you cry out loud.

“Such a pretty voice, why haven’t I heard it so determinedly more often?” Taeyong asked with his head buried in your cleavage.

You didn’t know the answer to that. But he probably also didn’t expect one as you realized the next moment that he had already eased two fingers into you. He was always taking you by surprise.

Your muscles in your thighs tensed, and you lifted yourself up a few inches as you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, that was how heavenly his fingers worked inside of you. You were dripping all over his hand, his palm stroking your clit and thus providing you with the double of stimulation that you had never experienced before.

“You wanna cum?” Taeyong whispered into your ear as you had your head rested on his shoulder, slightly biting into his flesh, and he endured it all.

You nodded, twisting and turning on his lap. “Y… yes, please.”

He made you cum with just the flick of a finger, and you screamed out loud, not only your entire body shaking, but also your whole world as your orgams ripped through you in an intensity you had never encountered before. And Taeyong gently held you in his arms all throughout it. Your chest heaved up and down like you had just run a marathon, and as you looked up, Taeyong swiped a few strands of your hair away from your face.

“You want to continue?” he asked you carefully.

You saw where he came from. He wouldn’t do anything without your consent. But there was nothing to ask for more permission here. You were here for all of it. Muted, you nodded again, too ashamed to speak out what was on your mind, what you really desired that wasn’t far from what Taeyong had thrown at your head only earlier that day.

You had been so mad at him, because it was true. You wanted him to take you from behind, to have his beautiful, strong hands wrapped around your slim neck and make you cum over and over again.

“Tell me,” he then challenged you as though he knew exactly what occupied your mind. “What is it that you want?”

You gulped. If you spoke it out, then he would do it, no doubt about it. Why was it that you were hesitating still then?

“Tell me,” Taeyong repeated, his index finger now lifting up your chin so that you could make eye contact. He saw what you felt, and he waited patiently.

“I… I want you to…” You paused. “... To do to me what you have teased about before.”

“Which is…?” He really enjoyed it too much.

“I want you to… take me from behind. To have your hand around my neck and… make me cum again.”

Because Jaehyun had never done so, because you felt like you betrayed your past love if you did it with Taeyong now, that was why you were still holding back. But then again, you suddenly felt so desired, so free and so alive like never before. You felt heard, seen and appreciated in all aspects a woman could wish for it. Was it so wrong then?

“You’re sure?” Taeyong wanted to know.

“I am.”

He then turned aside to take something from his nightstand that you recognized as the pack of condoms you had seen before. He tore the wrapping off with his teeth and urged you to change your position so that he was able to roll it over his length.

You sucked in a rush of air as you then sank back onto his lap, taking him all in until he was all settled in your warmness. Only a few heartbeats passed before you started to ride him right away, you just couldn’t wait anymore.

You slammed down on him, at first a bit messy as you couldn’t quite grasp the motions and only forcefully met with him in an attempt to act on your lust all at once, that was how overwhelming it was. But when Taeyong started to move with you, he determined the pace and movements, and rather than making you feel like you did something wrong, he quietly conveyed to you what would work better.

And by heavens, how better it worked. You rocked your hips with each other, and whenever you came down to him, you moaned silently as he hit spots within you you didn’t even know existed at all. You were holding onto Taeyong like a lifeline, moving with him and gyrating with him, and eventually you felt so close to cuming again.

First, you wanted to protest as you wanted to prolong this act and experience it from different positions, but there was nothing to protest against. You would let yourself cum, and if you wished for, this wouldn’t need to be the last time again either.

“I’m going to-“ you whined against Taeyong’s shoulder, and his grip around you only tightened as you dug your nails into his back.

“Then cum. Cum as often as you want.”

And you did. You cried into the nape of his neck with your fingers buried deep into his arm muscles, and ended the wave of pleasure with a shudder that only Taeyong could set an end to.

But the worst part was that you still weren’t satisfied. You raised your head and faced him, begging him with your eyes. Taeyong didn’t need to be told twice. But before, you shared a kiss that you both initiated at the same time, deep and intimate, and that made you feel a connection you had missed out on all these years and set aflame only now.

You stared at each other with an expression that was a mix of surprise and also relief. Surprise because you hadn’t expected to feel something like that with this other person out of all people, and relief because you had finally found it after all.

Again, you kissed, to make sure, to validate what you had felt shortly before. This time, it was more passionate and romantic, and it made your heart flutter again, a feeling you had been missing out on for a long time despite believing you had found your soulmate already.

Taeyong then flipped the both of you around and placed you with your back onto the bed. Tugging on your dress and pushing the torn skirt apart, he let his fingertips run up your naked thighs, and you let out a low sigh, collecting new energy to prepare for what was about to come.

Bowing down to you, you then kissed again, and again. And truth to be told, you also wouldn’t have minded lying here all night, just kissing him. In the meantime, Taeyong had subtly slipped in between your legs, and you only noticed when he started to move again.

You were able to pay more attention to his face now. Taeyong didn’t look much like his older brother, but was definitely as equally attractive. His features were sharper though, making him come off as rude upon first glance with his additional piercings that adorned each ear if he didn’t smile, and he rarely did that, but they were also unique and attracted attention for how handsome it made him.

Jaehyun was the kind of man you looked at because he was so kind and conventionally handsome, you wanted to get to know him. Taeyong was the kind of man who should scare you off, but you also couldn’t tear your gaze from because of how extravagantly attractive he was. Especially now as he bit into his bottom lip, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. He looked so angry and rude, it turned you on even more.

You had never looked closer at Taeyong because of that. But as his hands wrapped around your neck while he thrusted into you, you caught yourself thinking that you wished you would have spared the younger brother another, longer look ten years ago.

“Give me a sign if you need me to stop.”

Your eyes rolled to the ceiling as you started to run short on breath. You hadn’t expected yourself to like this kind of thing, but here you were, having Taeyong’s slender fingers around your neck, slightly choking you, and you found much pleasure in it. What else was there that you enjoyed but weren’t aware of yet? And was one night too short to discover it all?

You inhaled deeply and audibly when he then let go of you, and almost apologetically, he pecked your lips. He didn’t want to go further so as to not hurt you accidentally, you understood. You still had to figure out your boundaries, what you were able to take.

You let out a surprised “Oh!” the next moment when Taeyong slipped out of you and rolled you onto your stomach. A fresh breeze brushed over your naked bum when he flipped over your tulle skirt and it went flying all over your head so that you needed to dig a hole through the fabric to free your face.

Taeyong giggled, but when you wanted to chide him, he slapped your asscheek. It was loud and painful, and it brought you so much pleasure, you wanted him to do that again. And he did. His hand came down on your cheeks in alternation four times, each with a cry from your side louder than the one prior, before he sat you up on all fours and grabbed you by your hips.

You didn’t know what came first, his length sheathed back inside of you or your gasp of surprise as you realized what was about to happen. As you had never had sex in this position before, you had expected to feel disconnected and this act to turn rather animalistic, but Taeyong didn’t make you feel like that at all.

In a steady rhythm, you got pushed forward, his dick drawing out until you painfully thought you would lose him all, just to slam back into you the next moment so forcefully, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs. And so it continued until you couldn’t hold yourself up on your hands anymore, but sank down on your elbows, offering Taeyong an angle that made it even more intense for you.

You were begging, crying and moaning all simultaneously, not knowing where up and down was anymore. In all those years, you had been satisfied with only what you had considered traditional sex. That there was something more that would take you to heaven and back, you had never imagined yourself to experience.

Now, that hunger from before was only growing, even when you came for the third time that day within the span of only half an hour, so hard and so earth shattering, you thought you would cry because of how you finally felt something else aside from hatred and hunger again: happiness.

You then laid on your stomach, collecting your breathing and your thoughts when Taeyong finished himself off inside you with a little help of rhythmic motions from your hips, and his low growl, with which he announced his peak, turned you horny once more.

And so you did it again. This time from the side. You then went down on him, followed by you doing it from a standing position. Afterwards, he pleasured you with his mouth too, and you finished him off riding it all out. You came again and again, until daybreak announced itself and you slept in, with your head resting on Taeyong’s chest and his arms wrapped around you.

Somewhere along the way, as the night processed, you had gotten rid of the wedding dress entirely. It hadn’t been all about hatred and vengeance anymore, but something way more than that that somehow blossomed between you two.

The next morning, the sun shone bright. There was no sign of rain anymore.

____

Eighteen hours after the wedding

Taeyong stood in the kitchen, frying eggs and wishing you a good morning when you walked in. But when he placed the plate with the scrambled eggs and toast in front of you, you weren’t feeling hungry anymore.

“I’m going to stay with my best friend,” you declared to him. “I gave it a thought, and I think it’s bet-”

“It’s okay,” he chimed in. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I saw it coming, I understand.”

Even though you didn’t regret last night, you knew that you couldn’t do it again yet and that it would certainly happen if you stayed. So you fled. The only thing you were good at.

“I’m a failure,” you admitted. “I’ve failed my relationship, my marriage… why would I even want to try again?”

“If you stay with someone for a certain amount of time and you were happy, but then decide that you don’t want to stay together anymore, why would that make you a failure? If you decide to move on and find happiness with someone or something else, why would anyone want to take this from you?”

“And if it won’t work out with the next person too?” you voiced your fears.

“Then this doesn’t mean you’re a failure either. That’s how life is. You don’t have to stay with one person for the rest of your life if you don’t feel like it. But if you do, if your feelings align and remain steady, what more can you ask of the world?”

A single tear escaped from the corner of your eye and you wiped it away quickly. “But your family hates me now.”

Taeyong shrugged. “Who cares. They’ll eventually come around.”

“I thought you hated me too.”

“I never hated you.” He smiled mildly. “If anything, I hated your attitude, always so honest, fair and good. Secretly, I always wanted to be more like you and Jaehyun. I’ve never been this kind of person, and it’s been clear from the beginning that I wouldn’t fit into this role. You were everything I couldn’t be, everything I couldn’t have.”

“And now?” You looked at him with an uncertain expression, your brows furrowed. “Now that I’m not any of that anymore, do you still want someone like me?”

Taeyong reached out his hand and touched your cheek. “Now, I admire you even more. It takes much courage to tear down your entire life and start anew.”

“... Really?”

He nodded and you nudged against his palm, sharing his warmth. “I’m not going to be your rebound though. I think what we can build together can be something amazing, but you’re not ready.”

Only yesterday, you had run away from your own wedding and broken up with the man you had been with for the past ten years. You were far from ready. Last night had not only been eye-opening, but also shattering. Your whole world wouldn’t be like before, and you could only rebuild it bit by bit.

“Look for your own apartment, design it the way you want,” Taeyong suggested and withdrew his hand. “Then go out and meet people, date around and see what the world has to offer to you. You have ten years of catching up to do, don’t let a single minute pass.”

You gulped, withholding your tears in the same breath. “Okay.”

“And if you decide to explore what could be between us, if you decide you have seen everything and dated around enough, that, after all, I’m still the only one you want to be with eventually…” He smirked cockily. “... then I’ll be here.”

A life with Taeyong didn’t sound so daunting anymore. But with him came also his family, the family that had been with you before as well.

Quietly, you averted your eyes to the breakfast in front of you. “Last night was also one the bravest and most liberating things I’ve ever done. But-” You stopped.

Taeyong then took the words out of your mouth, “You cleanly ended your relationship before you slept with me. You don’t owe him anything anymore. The rest is between us brothers. Now eat up, then I’ll drive you to your friend.”

The breakfast had long gone cold before you were able to take a bite.

____

One month after the wedding

You hadn’t been able to light a candle in the apartment, because Jaehyun didn’t like the smell of candles. Funny, how you thought of it now.

The movers carried the last box out of your former shared home with Jaehyun, and now you were facing him again for the first time since the day of your wedding. You had specifically told him a time of which you had thought you would be gone already, but now you had accidentally run into each other again still.

“Hi,” he greeted you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“I’m sorry, I’m a bit early.”

“It’s okay, we’re done now anyway.”

He hung up his jacket and scanned the living room. Everything was still in place as you had only taken your clothes, books, a few kitchen utensils, a chair and nick nacks with you - like the candles. You couldn’t wait. Everything else, you had left for him to keep and would buy new for yourself.

“You don’t want anything else?” Jaehyun questioned with raised brows. “Just take whatever you want.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” In your hand, you were carrying another small box yourself, in fact, the one with the candles. You had always secretly lit them when Jaehyun had gone out as you didn’t care, and of course he always smelled it when he came back, picking up a quarrel with you. You couldn’t wait to light them whenever, wherever and for how long you wanted now.

“Okay.” He paused. “How is your new flat?”

“It’s very small compared to this place, and also old, but it’s cozy and I love it.”

He smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“What about the girl you met?” you chatted. That wasn’t the ideal topic for a conversation starter, but you didn’t come up with another one at such short notice. Besides, you were really interested in it. “Did you move forward and could finally talk to her? I would be delighted!”

Jaehyun was initially reluctant about his response. But as he finally came clear with you, the truth was so shocking, it nearly pulled the rug from under you. “There was no one I was talking to. I made it all up.”

“... what?” you breathed. You were totally confused.

“If I hadn’t told you about meeting someone else, wouldn’t that have made it harder for you?”

You couldn’t give him an honest answer. It certainly wouldn’t have made it easier, that was clear. “Did you… did you not want to break up?”

His slight smile now turned sorrowful and insincere, your heart ached badly. “I would have tried over and over again. Anything that would make you happy as your love life should bring you happiness. But if ours hasn’t brought you this happiness anymore, if you tried hard too and didn’t feel it anymore, then what more can I ask of you?”

“Jaehyun…” Your vision got blurry from the tears that now gathered above the rim of your eyes. “You should have told me.”

“And what then? Lock you up in this relationship you hadn’t been so happy in for so long anymore? The best was just to let you go, even if it meant driving you into the arms of my brother.”

Your breath caught. “I-... It’s… it’s not-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, I’ve known long before Taeyong confessed to me that you stayed with him that day… and night. I’ve seen his car parked in front of the house before I even got upstairs to look for you. And…” It was hard for him to talk about it all, that was pretty clear.

You didn’t dare to ask, but you were certain that by that moment, Jaehyun had still been full of hope that everything would work out fine. Until the moment he had spotted Taeyong’s car and figured it out all by himself.

He continued with a cracky voice, “You smelled just like him that day. I met that familiar scent the moment I walked in. Lemongrass and ginger. He never changed his shower gel ever since school.”

You had showered at Taeyong’s place that morning and used this exact shower gel. If you were able to smell it on Taeyong, then why wouldn’t anyone else be able to smell it on you too? You had been so naive.

And then, you nearly let out an audible gasp as it suddenly crossed your mind that you had also never taken Taeyong’s wet clothes with you when you had left this apartment that day, so Jaehyun had seen them too. But he didn’t mention them which made it even more painful for you.

If he also knew that you had slept with each other that night, you didn’t dare to ask. Perhaps, you also didn’t need to at all. You saw it all in his eyes, that he knew how you felt, truth or no truth.

“The funny thing is that always, I have thought that you two had a mutual understanding I couldn’t quite grasp despite never talking to each other.”

“We’re… we’re not in any kind of relationship,” you tried to save the situation. “I haven’t had contact with him since that day. I was only seeking shelter with the one person of whom I was certain wouldn’t blow me off, because...”

“... because he understood you,” Jaehyun ended your sentence. “See?”

“Jaehyun…” The tears now streamed down your face. Taeyong was right. After numbness and hatred came sadness. Your heart was filled with sorrow. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. That I haven’t always been honest, fair and good. That I failed our relationship, and that I failed you.”

“Don’t be.” Under normal circumstances, you would have wanted to be held by him and he would have provided you with that. But now you only stood awkwardly in front of each other. “You tried, right? All that matters is that you tried. If you can assure me that, then I have nothing to regret, because, on my end, I tried hard, every single day.”

“I did,” you blurted directly. “I woke up every single day, trying and full of hope. Until I just couldn’t anymore.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun nodded. “Then I can live with it.”

“Please be mad at me all you want, hate me all you want,” you begged him. “Just don’t project this all on Taeyong, please.”

His shoulders shook, you just couldn’t tell whether it was because he started crying too or because he started laughing over the absurdity of your request. “Even now, you think of him. Shouldn’t that tell you something?”

It certainly did.

But as Taeyong himself had said, you weren’t ready yet. At least not for him.

____

One year after the wedding

Your wedding dress was in the color of ivory, classically cut with straps and falling over your hips in an a-line, ending right above your knees - just like the wedding dress you had always dreamed of wearing on your special day, and this one you had selected entirely yourself. In your hands, the bouquet of flowers smelled lovely, the arrangement consisting of peonies and baby’s breath. No other bride in the registry office had brought flowers, but you had insisted on it.

“I do.”

You locked eyes with your groom who had just spoken out these words.

You hadn’t invited anyone in your family to attend the quick, official ceremony. In fact, you hadn’t even told them that you were getting married today in case anyone wanted to meddle again and make the entire wedding about them. This was only for you two, about you two, and this was how you wanted it. You didn’t need to make a show out of your love anymore. If only you two knew about it, then it was enough for you.

It was odd, and you chuckled to yourself as this silly thought crossed your mind just now as the registrar read from his book. It was odd how Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles either. With time, you had figured that he wasn’t so different from his brother like he had always claimed.

But there was one thing that made the difference for you: If Taeyong didn’t like the smell of candles, you wouldn’t light them, not even when he was away. You wouldn’t light them at all, because keeping him happy was more important to you than the goddamn candles. You weren’t handcuffed to him, you only wanted to be with him rather than lighting the candles.

You could live without the candles, but you couldn’t live without Taeyong. If he was gone, the candles would only be a silver lining.

In the following months after you had run away from your wedding, you had seen another country, went partying in the coolest clubs and were able to furnish the new apartment according to your own taste. You had also dated around, meeting different men and trying to bond with them while parallelly rebuilding your life. It hadn’t been easy, but it also hadn’t been overly hard. It had been challenging to say the least. You hadn’t kept in touch with Jaehyun or Taeyong for all these months, following the latter’s suggestion and just living your life like never before.

But after half a year, you had started to realize that this wasn’t the kind of life for you. You had tried, and you had failed. And if you decided to move on with something or someone else, what more could the world ask of you?

Taeyong had picked up his phone on an early spring day, his voice filled with happiness. “I’ve been waiting for you,” were the first words he had directed at you, and it almost made your heart burst.

Gradually getting to know each other turned out to be more of a task than a walk in the park as not everything could be reduced to great sex. You were still very different people as there were certain aspects of your character you couldn’t shake off and Taeyong refused to change about himself too. But you came to terms with everything that made your daily life hard. And in the end, you still wanted to be with each other.

All that mattered in this life was that you tried. All that mattered was that you opened your heart, gave everything you had, and tried. And when Taeyong had suggested marriage a few months into your relationship, you didn’t hesitate. You had jumped into his arms, saying “yes” more times than you were able to count.

“If you love a person, you just marry them.”

Was it really as simple as that? Certainly.

You had been certain at the moment he proposed, and you were even certain now, when you stood in front of your groom with many other couples waiting outside, who were as certain as you to take this step.

Of course you had often asked yourself what if you would fail this relationship, this entire marriage, too. But as you looked into Taeyong’s clear and sincere eyes while he smiled at you so lovingly, awaiting your answer as the registrar had finished, you weren’t worried about anything in the entire world anymore.

“I do,” you assured him of and sealed your wedding vows with a chaste kiss.

You only wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.

You didn’t ask more of the world.

#taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #taeyong smut #taeyong x reader #taeyong x you #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct x reader #nct x you #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop x you #kpop x reader

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crybaby-bkg · 9 months

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Bakugou has been gone on a mission for entirely too long now. the seasons are starting to change, and his side of the bed is starting to lose his embedded scent. but, thankfully, he should be home within the next few days, and its enough to drive you up the wall knowing how close he'll be soon.

so, to show your excitement, you set things up in your shared room. you pull on his shirt with the old tattered skull on the front, and find the specially created dildo that was modeled after him (what a fucking process that was, that turned out to be so worth it for moments like these). you watch a few videos he's sent you while he's been away, with his arms seemingly bigger and his cock seemingly harder every moment he's away from you.

and you get started. working yourself open, moaning unabashedly in the quiet house, head thrown back into his pillow as you chase your high. so when you get close, you finally set up your phone on his night stand. your body propped up on its side, legs squeezed together as you run the tip of the fake cock between your folds. you only hope to the high heavens that Bakugou answers, or else you think you might burst at the seams.

when he does answer, his voice gets so choked up in his throat. you have no care in the world if he's around people, if anyone could possibly see - all you cared about were his eyes being on you. and honestly, bakugou doesn't think he could look away if he tried. keeps his eyes glued to the screen as you see him get up to slam his hotel door shut, stumbling over to the bed, fumbling with his belt until only the tip peeks out on your screen.

"You don't know what you fuckin' do to me, sweetheart," Bakugou huffs out, his voice strained, face comically close to his phone. he turns his brightness up, the volume, doesn't care if his next door neighbor can hear your sweet little moans of his name.

"Miss you so much," you murmur, eyes squeezing shut when you slide the entirety of the already soaked dildo back inside of you. Bakugou groans low under his breath, lip twitching when he catches a glimpse of the flared base pressing against your lips.

"Is that the one made after me?" he asks in a whisper, swallowing thickly. you're the only person who could get him from zero to a thousand, from a bad day to the best one he thinks he's ever had in his entire life. you nod quickly, biting at your lip, slightly raising your leg to get deeper, to rub at your clit the same time you start fucking yourself with the dildo.

Bakugou thinks he might burst at the seams at the sight of you. he promises to himself, come morning time, he'll get home quicker if its the last thing he does.

#this is very 'you' centric so I hope that's okay #I try to write things where its both equally character and reader to avoid getting too descriptive or personal ig #but this is very much about you and also very self indulgent lmfao #also sorry for the abrupt ending my fingers hurt LOL #I haven't typed anything in a while so im getting acclimated again lol #okay I yam done writing for the night I prommy #—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬

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lopsicle · 4 months

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Hi, @fictitious-fluff I’m your Squealing Santa!’I’m sorry this came out in the latter end of December, the holiday season was busy for me and this was my first tickletober!!

This was really fun to write, the prompts you left helped a ton as well!! Hope you enjoy it!!

It’s Not Like I Don’t Like It

Summary: During one of Caine’s adventures, the group splits off into pairs which leads to some very interesting discoveries between Jax and Ragatha.

Characters: Ler! Jax, Ler! Ragatha, rest of the TADC cast

Warnings: Tickle Fic

In The Amazing Digital Circus™, it’s residents could only be sure of one thing. Life would never be dull, whether they liked it or not. It took Pomni some getting used to, much like the rest of the circus members and just like everyone else, she still had no idea what to expect. Whether it was being strapped to a target and having knives thrown at you, being pulled out of a hat, having your limbs played around with like they were apart of a mix and match set, the possibilities were endlessly terrifying. Caine just couldn’t understand how to please them.

He’d set them off on another adventure today, lazily dubbed ‘Sticky Situations’, chosen from a list of hundreds and hundreds of repeated activities for them to be forced into enjoy. The adventure was simple enough though, everyone would be split into pairs and forced to stay with their partner until they found a key that would allow them to separate. And because Caine’s adventures could never be simple, if someone stepped too far away from their partner, they’d be shocked.

The pairings were odd, but fun. Pomni and Kinger, Gangle and Zooble and Jax and Ragatha. Surprisingly, Ragatha was the one to be outraged first.

‘Him?!’ She cried, stomping her foot against the ground and making an over-exaggerated gesture towards Jax. The rabbit looked offended for a moment, his ears growing stiff at the top of his head before he smirked, his beady eyes getting a little wider.

‘Aw, don’t you wanna spent time with me, Dollface?’ He teased, not caring for her answer, just wanting to agitate her. Zooble shot the man a look which he just shrugged off while Pomni looked sympathetically towards Ragatha. She took a step towards the woman, wanting to comfort her but as she was finding the words, another voice overpowered the room.

‘Now that the pairs have been selected, you all have FIVE SECONDS,’ Caine screeched energetically, his eyes popping out of his head for a moment, ‘to stand next to your partner!’

Almost immediately, a pair of hands scooped the small jester up from behind, pulling her away from the red haired woman.

‘Phew, Pomni, I was worried you were gonna get electrocuted!’ Kinger fretted, totally oblivious to what she was trying to do. Pomni nodded along awkwardly, deciding to go along with it.

Begrudgingly, Ragatha made her way other to Jax who decided to stay put, not caring enough to move and knowing his partner wouldn’t risk getting shocked. She had a face like a slapped bulldog though, frowning with her arms crossed over her chest, staring away from the taller man.

‘Alrighty then, enjoy the games and have a spectacular time!’ Caine announced, waving goodbye to the circus crew before disappearing to who knows where. Most of them dissipated fairly quickly, some of them even looking forward to their new pairings. Neither of those were applicable to Jax or Ragatha.

‘Are you gonna move anytime soon?’

Ragatha asked impatiently, Caine’s explanation wasn’t the best; she didn’t know how far she could get from Jax and she didn’t feel like getting shocked.

‘Mmm,’ Jax looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think before staring back down at Ragatha, ‘nah.’

Ragatha’s eye twitched in annoyance, looking about ready to explode in anger at him already. While that would normally be amusing, Jax didn’t have the luxury of retreating as he got an earful of frustrated rants, instead opting to grab Ragatha’s arm and yank her along as he walked.

‘Come on then, let’s get this over with before you throw a tantrum,’ Jax teased her but Ragatha decided not to fight it this time. At least he was actually doing something.

It goes without saying that so far, this was one of their worst adventures yet. They didn’t know how that was possible after going through what felt like an eternity of them, but this easily my took the cake. Their bodies awkwardly bashed into each other to other being shocked, they hadn’t said a word to each other since they started walking and they had no idea where to find the key to free themselves from this God awful social prison. It felt like they were running around in circles inside the circus, and the silence was not doing good for Ragatha’s mental state. The worrying woman was just staring at the floor, questioning if they’d ever find this key. It wasn’t abstracting levels of bad, but it was easy to see that it was taking a toll on her. Even for someone like Jax.

He thought of what to do for a bit, it would be so easy to just ignore it, and Ragatha would deserve it for how she’d treated him today…but this trip was boring enough as it was, the last thing he needed was for them to just not talk.

‘Hey, redhead,’ the rabbit called out abruptly, poking her where her ribs would be with a gloved hand. It took all of her willpower to not jump back and get the both of them electrocuted, though her eyes did widen as a loud squeak exited her mouth. Ragatha covered her mouth afterwards, like she was trying to force the reaction back in before looking down at Jax, whose grin had grown ten times wider. Her eyes narrowed at him, almost like a warning to not say anything. And he didn’t say anything, he just burst out laughing.

‘Pffthahaha, oh my Gahahd, dolly, your ticklish! That’s fuckin’ priceless!’ Jax nearly doubled over laughing, clutching his sides while Ragatha just looked around worriedly, her face getting redder and redder as she hoped no one was hearing him.

‘Shut up, Jax, it’s not that big of a deal!’ Ragatha exclaimed, but her words were honestly true. She doubted anyone else in the circus would care about the grand reveal of her being ticklish of all things, it may be a little interesting to Pomni who was still getting the hang of things here, the only person reacting to it were the two of them. Even then, she should’ve expected something like this from Jax, but being teased about being ticklish was especially flustering to her. Mainly because she…liked it. It was hard not to like to her, it was all warm and fuzzy and made her all squirmy, how could she not enjoy being tickled? Plus, it was like having her real, non-rag doll body again, it reminded her of being a real person outside the circus.

‘Oh, this is a huge deal! I can’t believe it took me this long to find this out…hey, whatcha say we make up for lost time?’ Jax said, his yellow smile getting even wider, taking a soft step closer to Ragatha. The doll in turn, looked up near him, not having the confidence to face Jax directly, especially with her face being so red. She opened her mouth but it was like her insides were completely empty, she couldn’t get anything out of her mouth. Not waiting for an answer, Jax’s hands shot down to Ragatha’s sensitive sides, immediately squeezing at them.

‘Jahahahahahahax!!’ Ragatha shouted from the touch, her hands clasping right over her mouth as her eyes went wide. The woman’s feet tapped against the floor repeatedly, doing her best to not move away. This really was the best worst possible scenario for her.

‘Yeeessss, Dolly?’ The man asked, acting like nothing was wrong here. His dexterous fingers crawled over to Ragatha’s tummy, scratching against the fabric of her dress. Curiously, he was starting to notice how she wasn’t really trying to squirm away from his fingers, it looked like she was bucking into them actually.

‘C-cahahahahan you nanahahahat?!’ The redhead ruffed, struggling to get her words out properly through all her laughter.

‘Well, Raggedy, I don’t think you want me to not,’ Jax mimicked her fractured speech just to tick her off more, but the woman seemed far more preoccupied with the fact that Jax was catching on so easily that she enjoyed this. Of course Jax of all people had to find out, this would be the worst for her! Though, it wasn’t like he stopped tickling her yet…maybe she could enjoy this for a little longer.

‘Juhuhust, shuhuhuhut up!’ Ragatha pouted, tilting her face away from Jax who pulled his hands away for a second, earning a disappointed look for a second. His eyes looked wider and intense, yet somehow had a playful shine in them.

‘Oh, no, no, no, you do not get to tell me to shut up and get away with it!’ Jax called her out before shooting his hands right under her armpits. And that was when Ragatha started screaming.

‘WAIAHAHAHAT, NAHAHAT THEHERE!!’ The woman’s arms clung to her sides instantly, squirming about on the spot with a desperate expression taking over her blushing face. Jax had gotten really lucky just now and landed on her death spot, though she wasn’t complaining. It was sort of relieving in a way, she’d be anxious of him finding this out ever since this tickling attack started so it felt like a weight was lifted now that this was out of the way.

Though, Jax was absolutely loving this. He wouldn’t admit that now that he knew Ragatha actually enjoyed getting tickled, well he didn’t know but it was pretty obvious, but being able to make her screech and laugh was definitely going to be a way for him to kill the time. He messily grabbed at her wrists, clumping them up to hold them with one hand. Then, he raised her arms above her head, leaving that precious death spot of hers on display.

Ragatha tried to wiggle her way out of his grip but it was pretty useless, a couple loose giggles of anticipation slipped out of her mouth, staring over at the rabbit to see when he was going to strike.

‘Alright, let’s see if you can handle this!’ He announced, treating it like it was some game. His fingers began messily poking around the hollows of her armpits to start with, but it quickly morphed into fast, deep scratching against her sensitive skin which drove the woman insane.

‘NAHAHAHAHAHA, I CAHAHHAAHHAN’T!!’ Ragatha admitted instantly, dropping all sense of embarrassment or shame about getting tickled by Jax. Bouncing around on her feet, Ragatha felt like if she was tickled for another second was going to die, or at least get the two electrocuted. While Jax may not care about the first one, he didn’t want to get shocked too and decided to take some pity on the woman.

His hands left her armpits, leaving them with a slight tingling sensation but for the most part, Ragatha recovered pretty quickly. Her face still had a red sheen to it but the shock and horror of the tickling session was passing her now. Until Jax spoke up.

‘Oh, I am so telling everyone about this.’

‘Don’t you dare!’

#sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle content #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #jax #ragatha #tadc ragatha #ler jax #ler! jax #lee ragatha #lee! ragatha #ticklish ragatha #pomni #kinger #squealing santa 2k23 #squealing santa

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xxx-silhouette-xxx · 1 year

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Am I the only one disappointed with season 3 of The Mandalorian?

Contains SPOILERS - so skip if you don’t wanna know

Tonight was, painful.

I’ve REALLY been trying to hang on with an open mind but after tonight, there’s no going back.

And I’ve got some things to get off my chest.

Din Djarin has had NO character development from the sacrifice he made for Grogu’s life. This has been inarguably, the biggest disappointment for me. I was hoping for a season of exploration of a man’s moral compass and worldview being hauled upside down, a young boy who’d been orphaned, traumatised and taken in by a cult that raised him with titanium religious beliefs. Who grew into a hardened bounty hunter but gave up everything he knew for the sake of a lost child. Became shunned for protecting said child and despite doing what he felt was right, strived to seek redemption and forgiveness. There was so much potential for Din as a character in terms of growth and development, all of which was swept under a rug within the first two episodes. He has instead become apart of Disney’s formula of “the boss ladies side bitch” with nothing to add to the scene but his catchphrase “this is the way”. That and the sudden revival of his hate for droids even though he had been working on that issue in past seasons.

Grogu is more or less the commodity Disney grew cash dollar signs in their eyes over for the sake of product marketing and just have him doing cutesy shit for the sake of being cutesy.

And then there’s Bo Katan.

Now disclaimer - I’m not the type that hates an actual person for a character they play. Yes, I’ve never liked Bo Katan (that much I’ve made clear in recent posts) but I also think that Katee Sackhoff does a brilliant job playing a character as such. And to see her come to life in season 2 was incredible and to me, Bo Katan from season two is the REAL Bo Katan.

Because I’m sure as hell disappointed with what they’ve done to her character in season 3. Bo Katan was a terrorist who broke away from Mandalore unable to accept a new direction in leadership from her own sister. She massacred and terrorised innocent people, she plotted towards the death of her sister, splintered off from her terrorist group after the throne of Mandalore was taken by Maul and continued to fight against his loyalists and later the empire itself.

And we all saw the look of death on her face when Gideon pointed out that the dark Sabre belonged to Din

This isn’t someone I was rooting for but this was someone who didn’t know when to give up and would go to any means possible to get what they wanted. This is the same woman who made an oath in the throne room of Mandalore, saying that an outsider would never rule the people. The odds were against her in many ways yet she still fought like hell…. Where is that woman? And who replaced her with Disney’s first emo teen princess whose suddenly forgotten her xenophobic upbringing?

And as for Lizzo and Jack Black’s appearances in episode six?

My partner said it best when he commented that they turn the whole show into a parody of itself.

Personally, I found Christopher Loyd’s character as flat as cardboard and an absolutely pointless goose chase used to build up momentum all to throw away the opportunity for a twist ending.

It really breaks my heart to see the series diminish into what it has. The whole reason people fell in love with the show was due to Din and Grogu’s father son dynamic and that’s all been thrown to the side in favour of other characters, setting up for the future of other shows and tying off the ends to the sequels.

Season three completely lacks the drive and purpose of the previous seasons.

It should and could have been so much more than what it is.

And Din Djarin deserved more depth in his story then to be abandoned to the side lines.

#the mandalorian #mandalorian season 3 #din djarin #pedro pascal #star wars #mando #mando spoilers #mando fanfiction #katee sackhoff

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everythingne · 4 months

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out of the woods - ls2 [2]

With a home race that couldn't go better, Dhanishka feels the confidence to let loose. But, Bahrain's post race celebration brings up some confusing feelings Dhanishka definitely won't handle the best. Charles plays the disappointed older brother role very well, Daniel is a bit of an enabler as is Lando, who also wins a bet with McLaren. Also, the FIA makes a weird call.

logan sargeant x ferrari!ex!oc

fc: iffat marash (and other pinterest girlies)

warnings/notes: mentions of past car accidents, drunkeness, a makeout scene, tbh if logan looked at me the way i describe here i would fold oops. conflicting feelings here for miss dubey

(part one) (part three)

Bahrain hasn't even started, my home race hasn't even started, and I already feel like I'm about to snap. I knew coming into this race there was a lot of pressure on me to do well, not to mention how basically everyone I knew and their fucking mother was here, but from Ferrari alone. This was the season they planned to solidify Charles and I next to Red Bull. They'd been secretive about their car, their plans, and whatever, just to hopefully psyche out the other teams.

Personally, I just wanted to win for myself, but thats a whole other story.

When I walk in the race, cameras are on me faster than I can say my name, thousands of eyes watching the only rookie this season as she makes her way into her paddock. Inside the paddock is no better, and the garage can't even be a safe haven as reporters walking the pit lane try to get video of me and Charles greeting eachother.

He's like a bright red beacon of safety admist the chaos of this morning. He hands me a coffee, says it's supposed to be some sort of weird chai thing. It tastes... like slightly more bitter and heavily espresso filled chai. But I drink it anyway because lord knows I need the energy.

"You look stressed, is it the race?" Charles asks after our debriefing, when I'm working on reaction times. I keep working at whacking the buttons, eyes trained on the center as I also work my periphery.

"I think so." I say, uninterested, and Charles purposefully messes up the game so I look at him with a loud exclamation. He grins, and I get now why Arthur had punched Charles in the arm as a greeting once. He looks like a cat that knows it's done something wrong, but smugly doesn't care. Like my aunt's big brown cat named Porsche.

They'd bought her a 'Porsche' for her birthday that year. Haha.

"What's it actually?" Charles asks when I catch my breath a little, taking a big gulp of water and then sipping on the coffee-chai-thing.

"I talked to Logan after we left the resturant and I can't stop thinking about it." I set down the cup and go to return to the game before Charles grabs my wrist and pulls me back.

"Do you wanna talk about it before the race? Maybe get it out of your system so it doesn't affect you while driving?"

"You're talking like you speak from experience."

"Maybe I do." He hums and I huff through my nose, before grabbing both of my drinks when he nods his head back to his drivers room. Probably the only place here we could get privacy. He pops me down on his couch and sits next to me, motioning for me to talk.

I stammer a bit before sighing, “Logan still thinks it’s my fault. He still thinks I had something to do with the accident. And I’m a fucking idiot because I still love him.”

Charles’ eyes widen as I lean forward and huff, rubbing my forehead as I keep talking, “I still love him after three years. And he doesn’t love me back and that hurts but I can’t do anything about it.”

"you still love him?" He asks and I nod, and then hitch forward with a sharp gasp. It's like saying the words out loud have thrown every possible emotion in my face. Anger at him for breaking up, regret for not chasing him, a deep sorrow for the things we'd lost. He had been my first love, something so innocent. I didn't know how I was supposed to live without him.

"I do," I whisper through the lump in my throat, "I love him, but I can't even look at him without feeling sick."

For once with all the issues I've come to tell Charles about, this is one that stumps him. But he wraps an arm around me, pulling him to his side as he rubs his hand along my back and I curl into his touch. I don't exactly cry, but I more so just hyperventilate.

And it takes maybe ten minutes for me to calm down fully and when I do, Charles squeezes my hands.

"No matter what happens, I've got you." He says softly, "just like at dinner, I've got you."

I nod and he hands me a tissue, I fix up my makeup and stand, letting him escort me back out to the garage so we can go get out fireproofs and race suits.

The sun is long set when we start the race, the warm up lap making my nerves spark as my fingers twitch on the steering wheel. I knew Bahrain's track like the backs of my hands, I knew exactly what to expect and what to do and where to go. Starting p8 wasn't terrible, I would've preferred to be higher but I'll take what I can get. In front of me is Yuki, Carlos, Daniel, Charles, Oscar, Lando, and Max. With Logan directly behind me and Alex behind him.

I'm not super worried about Alex, but Logan had a pretty similar driving style to me so I worry about him coming and overtaking me. I know I can overtake Yuki, Carlos, and Daniel if I give myself time and risk going wide when it comes to Carlos, but Lando, Oscar and Max will be my biggest competition. Though I'm not sure about Charles, I guess it depends on what we're told on the radio.

Within the first five laps, I've gotten past Yuki and Carlos, but Daniel's giving me a run for my money. Charles even tries helping, but it's no use, and I take my place behind Daniel for the foreseeable future. I don't mind it, holding P6 at the beginning isn't the worst scenario. I just have to wait until people starting going in for tire changes and such, hopefully I'll be able to use that to get around.

Eventually, Daniel understeers and it gives me a perfect opportunity to whip around him and I solidify myself in P5. Oscar's ahead of me, Lando ahead of him, Charles in P2 and then Max holds P1. Charles is fighting him for it and I'm impressed with how we're doing so far.

At some point Logan comes up behind me, I'm only alerted via the radio for half a second before I see him try and push me to the edge of the track. I speed up, purposefully oversteering the turn to knock him off my back.

By the end of the race, I find myself P3 by a goddamn thread. Lando having wing damage making it easier for me to snag around him in one of the last turns. Charles isn't far ahead of me, and Max holds his P1 usual. Lando's P4, Oscar P5, and Logan P6. Everyone else is pretty much scrambled, almost all the racers overtaking someone multiple times throughout the race.

I can't really feel anything under the thrum of my excitement, Charles coming up behind me and lifting me off the ground in celebration as Max laughs from a distance. We're making our way to the stage for the podium, helmets off and a hat secured over my head to block out the sun and my post-race helmet hair.

"Lets go! 'Ishka!" Charles jumps and I laugh, whacking him on the head as he hoists me in the air.

"Congrats, kid." Max grabs the brim of my hat and yanks it down, making me yelp in surprise as Charles sets me down. I fix the brim of my hat while Charles laughs, trying to help me yank down Max's hat too before I'm called to walk up on stage.

The roar of the audience is deafening, the announcement a warble as I take the trophy with a thank you and shook the hand of the woman who gave it to me. I lift it above my head, the noise only growing, and I can't help the satisfied shout that leaves my throat in celebration.

Dipping back into the paddock, I see Logan being ushered away from me by Alex. Even though the sight of him makes my throat close and stomach drop, I try to keep my head up. I try to not let it affect me, but I know it does.

I told Logan the truth. I let him him go because he wanted to go. Nothing Logan did now would change the way my heart ached for him. In F2 I learned quickly to shove my emotions down and never let them escape me, and when I wasn't in the safety of Charles' company, I felt like I had fallen back into that same routine again.

Cold, sharper than a tack, everything rolled right off. I bit my tongue when necessary, fought back only when provoked.

It was nothing like how I had been before Trident. That much was known. But I wasn't about to be used again. Never again.

A few hours later, we're at the hotel Charles is staying in, him laying face first on his bed while I fix up my makeup in a mirror for the upteenth time. Another night out is in order to celebrate the season kickoff, Max inviting Charles and I along with him, Daniel, and Carlos to some sort club I've been to a hundred times already.

Once I've used Charles' bathroom to change into my clothes for the night, I'm wrapping a large Ferrari jacket around myself to be a bit more 'presentable' until we get to the club. I lean into the mirror to check and secure all my jewlery before I make my way out of the bathroom.

Charles looks up from where he's sitting in one of the chairs in the hotel room, his eyes doing a quick once over before he grins and stands up. He's wearing some jeans and a loose black button-up, a gold necklace swinging before settling against his collarbones as he makes his way to my side.

"Revenge dress?" He muses to me with a smirk and I whack his arm with a loud laugh, shaking my head as I walk to grab my purse off the coffee table.

"It wasn't intended to be, but sure." I grin as I take a sip from my wine glass on the table, eyeing the now empty bottle we were using to loosely pregame the night, "Glad to see you've gotten a bit of fashion advice, the polo looks good. If Max is wearing anything Red Bull I'll choke him out."

"I'll help you." Charles laughed and hands me his wallet. I pop it in my purse without thinking, I know it's so I don't run off without him, and I pretend to be annoyed. But the action is sweet.

"We have a little private room with some of the other drivers," Charles grabs our phones off the charges and hands me mine as he pockets his, fixes his hair in some sort of habit, and then looks back to me as he grabs the handle of the door, "So, you can leave your stuff there until we leave."

"Sounds good to me." I follow him out the door, my heels clicking on the tile on the hallway as we move down to where the carpet starts. Charles turns back to me as he walks, watching me dig out my car keys. When I lift my eyes to meet him he scratches his jaw and then speaks.

"Logan's gonna be there. That's fine with you?" Charles asks. I had told him in the garage this morning about my argument with Logan. It had been eating at me, and Charles being ever the observant picked up on my shift in attitude before I did.

"I probably won't even see him, this club is always packed." I reason, even with the private room. I'd spend most of my time at the bar. If I was with my friends, also the dancefloor, but I had a suspicion I wouldn't be doing much dancing tonight.

"You sure?" Charles holds the elevator door open for me, letting me step in and press the button for the lobby. I nod, adjusting my outfit a little bit as I look over at him.

"It's fine, I'm over it." I shrug, looking at myself in the mirrored doors of the elevator and fixing up my hair loosely. I can feel the elevator slowly start to lower and I grin at myself.

Maybe it was the confidence from my win, but I looked good tonight.

"You cried over him this morning and now you're saying you're over it?" Charles hums, thinking back clearly to me frustrated for no reason this morning and his intervention with led to me half-hyperventilating into his chest.

"I got P3 in my first F1 race, Charles. No one can touch me. I'm hot, sexy, and breaking the Ferrari curse." I playfully do a little z-snap that has Charles chuckling as the doors open to the lobby and he brings me out to an awaiting car. This was something else I would never get used to, how we all just kinda casually had luxury vehicles. Now, my parents were well off, my father a CEO and my mother a tailor, and they had plenty of money to give to me and my sister if we needed it. But it hadn't always been that way. So the Ferrari just idling outside the hotel, clearly brought over by Ferrari for Charles and I to drive like once this whole weekend is a shock to me.

He lets me in the back, then gets in the passengers, instructing the driver on where to go while I lean back with a content sigh and watch the streetlights pass.

dhanishkadubey made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc, and 254k others...

dhanishkadubey: kicking off the start of a wonderful szn. much love to the tifosi 🏎️ ❤️ (📷: @ charlesleclerc)

charlesleclerc: ❤️

danielricciardo: this bitch drinks fireball like water.

dhanishkadubey: ur rlly exposing me like this danny :(?

user1: congrats on p3!!!

oscarpiastri: go dhanishka go !!

user2: tensions rising in the loscar fandom tn

maxverstappen: great start to your rookie year, dhanishka :)

anyadubey: YAAA THATS MY SEXY SISTER!!!

user3: actually in love w her.

When we arrive at the club, the place is already going hard. Early 2000s music pulses from various speakers, the lights flashing to the beat of who I think is Britney Spears mixed with that one song from Saltburn. It's Daniel who greets us in the upstairs room, showing me where to leave my bag and jacket while Charles is escorted off to the side by Pierre and Max. I spot Esteban and Lance chatting idly with Magnussen and some other racers. It's odd combinations tonight, as the grouping strays from the normal clumps of friends, but it means I find myself engrossed in a conversation with Alex and George maybe thirty minutes after getting inside.

"I seriously thought you were gonna be much meaner!" George shouts over the pulsing music and I laugh as he hands me my drink from the bartender. I thank him softly and take a big sip, nodding at the sour taste im expecting from the cocktail.

Catching George's eye, I tease, "Do you want me to be?"

"God no," George waves a hand in my direction with a soft laugh, something playful and almost childlike gleaming in his eyes as he tilts his head, "Carmen's plenty mean to me."

"Oh stop!" Alex scoffs, whacking George's arm, "As if Carmen's little jabs equate to Lily's!"

"Didn't you literally call Lily the doll from Squid Game?" I ask, then pop my straw in my mouth and take a slow sip. Alex freezes as if he's been caught red handed, and George suppresses a giggle.

"Look..." Alex holds up a hand in defense but George and I are laughing too hard to really hear whatever excuse he uses to defend his actions.

"Okay, can I ask you a question, Dhanishka?" Alex asks after we've calmed down, leaning forward on the bar as I settle in my seat with George on my other side. I nod and he swallows and I can see him roll the question through his head. He takes a sip of his drink, swallows, and turns to ask, "If you wanna answer, what exactly happened with you and Logan? 'Cause he's been moping since you got announced to be racing with Ferrari and I might lose my mind if he doesn't knock it off."

"Oh god," I say into my midori sour, taking the bitter drink into my mouth and swallowing it and setting my hand over the cup. George leans over to look, head slightly tilted like a puppy as Alex quickly speaks up.

"If you don't wanna say anything, it's fine, but--"

"--No, no. It's fine Alex," I wave a hand, "uhm, Logan and I started dating when we were racing in Renault, but we'd been kinda... I guess flirty since the end of our formative years and into like secondary school. We were... I was fifteen, so he was seventeen or sixteen at the time? It was just like... puppy love, y'know? Pure and innocent, nothing too serious.

"And, we were both in love and it was nice. It really was nice. But, when that crash happened with Trident, I think something snapped in him. I... the breakup... it came from nowhere. I don't know if it was because he was mad, thinking I had something to do with it, or if he just... didn't know what to do and needed control after Trident took that P2 position from him? I don't know. We hadn't spoken since that day until last night."

"You talked to him last night?" Alex asks with slightly wide eyes and I nod, taking another sip of my drink.

"We argued about it last night while waiting to leave." I sigh, rolling my shoulders as I pop the straw between my lips and take a long slow sip, then speak, "He thought I had something to do with the crash, I told him I didn't, he asked me why I let him leave--which, Alex, feel free to tell him I think that's a dumb fucking question. I wasn't gonna force him to stay if he was unhappy, or if he didn't wanna date anymore. I'm not a monster."

"Wait, wait," George waves a hand to grab my attention and I turn to him with a soft hum, "So is he mad at you?"

"I don't know," I finish off my drink, noticing both George and Alex are not even halfway down their respective drinks, "I can't tell with him. I would completely understand if he was furious about everything, but none of it was my fault. I didn't even know Trident planned to crash into him!"

"I'm gonna try talking to him," Alex looks over at someone to the right of me and I don't have to look to know he means Logan's there. I nod, sip my drink, and excuse myself to go back to the room. George escorts me up there, to make sure I'm fine, and then leaves me to Daniel who grins.

"You've had something to drink, right?" He asks and I nod, but happily join him and Lando at the bar for shots of various alcohols. And I end up drinking a few glasses of soju back to back with Max at one point, introducing him and Checo to different flavors while Daniel laughs at Max's shock over how everything just tastes like a slightly sour juice. I'm finishing my fourth glass of soju when I start to feel woozy. Taking a water from the bartender, I count the drinks I've had in my head and roughly equate them to about a handle of alcohol.

Lando orders a final round of shots for us, Fireball burning down my throat.

"Danny!" I call to the Australian, who turns in a full circle before realizing wher eI am. He nods and steps closer so I don't have to shout.

"The bathrooms right there," I point to a hallway and Daniel nods, "Can you grab my stuff and I'll meet you guys by the door?"

"Yeah, just be quick! Text me if you need anything." He squeezes my wrist and I nod, slipping away and down the stairs that lead tot he dark bathrooms. Once I'm done, I step out into the hall looking down at my phone when I slip on water pooled by the door. Or what I hope is water.

A hand juts out, catching me by the waist and tugging me forward so I'm no longer falling backwards. The firm hand is familiar, and when I glance up to thank the man who caught me I make eye contact with Logan. I resist the urge to make some rude comment and thank him softly instead.

"Are you gonna tell everyone about us dating?" He asks instead and I scoff.

"Are you gonna start a fight every time I see you?" I rebuke, and then shrug, "Alex and George asked. And if I said no, they could just look it up. I didn't say any apecifics, just the bulk."

Logan looks a little relieved at that, almost like he was nervous about their reactions if they knew every little thing that we'd done. Truth be told, puppy love was the best way to describe us back then. Stolen chaste kisses, giddy smiles when holding hands, little meaningful gifts, late night texts that led to sleepy smiles the next day. I was sure he'd had something more... mature after he'd broken it off. I had rationalized in my head that was why he broke it off. I'd never know the real reason, I wasn't going to ask.

"You..." Logan finally lets go of my waist, and in the low light I see his eyes sweep over me with a look I want to decipher. I've lost the key to his brain, and I know I won't be finding it any time soon.

"You look as beautiful as the day I left you, more so now... but," He laughs, shaking his head, "Sorry, I had too much to drink. I shouldn't."

"You shouldn't." I agree, but a tiny smile curls at my lips, "But thank you."

Logan looks at me for a long moment and I return the gaze, our eyes spelling out stories of his hands carding through my hair, laying on a blanket on the roof of his London apartment and listening to music in shared earbuds, us cheering on Oscar when he'd asked Lily out and celebrating with him after.

He was so much of my past, and somehow I found that I wished he could fit into my future.

"Can I ask one thing?" Logan says, the music pulsing above us louder now, making his voice get swallowed by the music. I step closer to hear him as I nod, throat dry as trepidation rolls across my skin, his lips part, and it takes a second for him to ask, "Can we not fight? I don't think I can ever see you look angry at me again, I've been replaying our argument outside the restaurant for days now.

"I don't wanna leave our past behind us and move on," He continues when I gape at him, "I loved you back then, maybe I still do now or maybe its the fact I'm so drunk the world is spinning, but you were such a big piece of my life. I've known you since we were kids, Dhanishka I can't let go of you now that I've got you back."

His heart is being held out for me, hands shaking as he stares at me, and I just stare back. Just friends, I tell myself. That's all we'll be.

"You know," I start, and I can feel its my heart and blood alcohol content leading the conversation and not my brain, "I do think I still love you--or maybe its the fact I'm just as drunk as you are, if not worse. You made my life, you made me who I am, from the stupid jokes to the little kisses behind our garages, or sneaking into eachother drivers rooms to nap..."

I swallow my pride, "I won't let go of you this time."

He grins and on wobbly legs he takes me into a hug, I let his arms wrap around my waist, hands warm against my skin as I throw my arms around his neck. The stairs squeak behind us, and we step back, but I don't see anyone come down. When I turn back to him, I find he's still looking, and as the music shakes the walls and rolls into my skin, I find one of my hands cupping his jaw. His breath cuts short, lips parting as his tongue darts out.

It's so dumb how easily I fall back in love with Logan Sargeant.

He dips down before I can think to pull back, slotting his lips against mine, and I welcome it. His grip on me tightens as he tugs me back in, bunching fabric under his fingernails as he gasps when I nip his lip.

"We shouldn't do this." He gasps between a kiss he drives, only to be cut off by me stepping closer to keep our lips dancing. He turns us, pressing my shoulders to a wall, cornering me underneath him, and I bite back a whine in the back of my throat.

"We shouldn't," I agree, and gasp when he moves closer, his hands sliding down to guide my hips towards him as his knee knocks mine apart. He steps one foot between mine, leaning into me, and I can't help the whine he forces out of my lips this time. And when I see his satisfied grin, I can't help the tiny bashful smile that pokes at my own lips.

"You're an asshole." I breathe against his lips, the club pulses above us, footsteps creaking on the stairs, but in that moment we dont feel the pull of the crowd singing and dancing. His hands grip my waist through the thin fabric of my black dress, pulling me in, and I feel everything. His chest hits mine with his sharp breath in, our eyes finding each other and holding a gaze I feel as bitter as the tequila in my stomach.

"I know," He pulls me in by wrapping his arm around my waist, hand finding my jaw and tugging me impossibly closer. Our lips meet again, all heat and fervor and my hands find the back of his head, knocking our teeth when I tug him in after he breaks the kiss.

22R stains his lips and I see it on his teeth when he grins, memories flicker through my eyes. He tastes like expensive whiskey and rum, a hint of shitty bottled beer taps my tonsils when I swallow. He tastes like everything I should run from and yet, I crave more.

"Dhanishka!" Charles calls for me somewhere in the club, voice loud against the music, and I step back. Reaching out to grab my wrist, Logan pulls me in once more, his thumb runs along my lower lip, fixing the smudged lipstick in the dark, dingy bathroom hall. I don't know what to say, I don't know if this is a moment where I'm even supposed to say anything.

"Danny!" Daniel shouts, coming to the hall of the bathroom and I push Logan back into the men's room and slam the door shut before he can say anything.

"There you are!" Charles calls and I wave, turning to them.

"Sorry," I giggle, the warmth of the kiss on my face as I feel the ghosts of Logan's hands on my skin, "I think I had a little too much."

"So did Max," Daniel snorts, flicking on his phone flashlight so I can properly see the stairs as I make my way over to where they stand halfway down them. I hear the men's room door creak and turn back to catch Logan's eye as Charles grabs my wrist and carts me upstairs.

We share a tiny grin between us, charged by drunken decisions, it's our moment. No one else sees. Or if they do, they don't say a word But Charles' grip on my wrist tightens, and I have an odd feeling we might not have been as alone as we thought we were in that hallway.

taglist (thank you!)

@chasing-liberosis @justsomejess @struggling-with-delia

#f1 fanfic #f1 smau #formula one fanfic #formula one fic #f1 fanfiction #f1 fic #logan sargeant fic #logan sargeant fanfic #logan sargeant smau #ls2 fic #ls2 smau

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jarofstyles · 1 year

Note

Mafiarry Christmas please miss jars!!!

Of course 🫶 here is a peek into their Christmas season!

Check out our Patreon!

Warnings- mafia mention, anxiety, dangerous situations

“You can’t be serious.”

“Don’t be a Scrooge.” Y/N puffed, hauling the tinsel behind her with a swing of the hip. “It’s not my fault you can’t see the joys of the season. You’re just grumpy.”

Harry exhaled fully, dragging his hands down his face as he walked into his living room. It looked like Christmas had thrown up all over. He had been warned by the wreath when he walked to the front door, but nothing could have prepared him for the title wave of jingle and jolly that invaded his house.

“I’m not a Scrooge. That’s offensive.” He grunted. “I’m just… this is a lot, darling. Where are you possibly going to put it all?” He knew Y/N had a lot of time on her hands now that she had agreed to stay home for her safety for a bit, some ongoing issues making it a bit hard for her to go and do the normal festivities. “I think you’ve bought the entire Christmas section.” His face had softened as he saw a slight pout on her face, stretching hard to place the tinsel on the higher hook.

The man didn’t skip a beat, coming up behind her and taking the fluffy tinsel from her hand and draping it up so it hung the way he had a feeling she would want. One hand curled around her waist, fingers slightly digging into her soft tummy as he pressed against her. Y/N couldn’t keep the facade, leaning back into him with a gentle hmph. It was unfair that a single touch, a little gesture made her feel so needy. Her body leaned into his, feeling the crispness of his pressed shirt and inhaling the scent of him as she dropped her head back against his shoulder.

“Thank you.” She paused. “Even more rude that you haven’t kissed me hello yet.”

That was something Harry could agree with. Especially with her wearing these odd yet very flattering red velvet leggings with a flare at the bottom and Santa like fuzzy stuff at the rim and a cropped knit sweater. He pulled her closer, tilting her chin up a bit and covered his mouth with hers for a full kiss. He wasn’t one to ever half ass their kisses, and he was known to be a greedy man, so he did what he did best. Holding his lips over hers and sucking slightly as he pulled back, a little smile curling his lips as he heard a soft protest from her.

Y/N spun in his arms to properly face him, hands sneaking under his blazer jacket to find his belt loops. Harry’s smile was one of the private ones reserved just for her, making her irritation at his prodding about the Christmas decor lessen. “I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to forget your kiss.” He gently rubbed the bare skin of her back, dipping his fingers into the waistband of the velvet things. Whatever they were, he liked how they looked and how they felt. “Just shocked me. M’not used to this. And you didn’t consult me.” There was no malice in his voice, just slight surprise. She usually told him when she did big things. This seemed to quantify as a big thing.

“Was feeling spontaneous. Antonio and co took me shopping, you knew that. But once I got to the Christmas sections I got a vision.” She raised on her tiptoes to kiss his nose before pulling away, sauntering over to the bags. “Winter wonderland. Classy and cool, doesn’t need to be taken down the very next day after Christmas. Just… something to do.” She shrugged, trying not to make him feel bad. There was no illusion, she knew what she was into when she decided to stay with him. Sometimes things would be more guarded and she would need to listen to him for safety. Harry was worth any sacrifice.

“Hm. That’s a good idea.” Harry loosened his shirt, placing the blazer on the chair. He had spent all day wanting to come home to her and relax- and he would. But he wanted to indulge first. He may not have the most Christmas spirit usually, but if it made her happy, he would put on a santa hat or something. “I’m sorry you can’t do the normal things.” He sat down on the ottoman in front of all the bags, watching her cross the room to come and sit near him to give him a ‘haul.’ He didn’t know why she loved it so much but her smiles and the excitement was well worth it.

“It’s okay. I’ve got a handsome man with pretty hands who comes home to me. He’s very dangerous and good in bed. So.” She snickered, grabbing a bag that was in her way and placing it on her lap. “It’s a good trade off.

Plus you kind of fund my hobbies so, I’ve got to give it to you.”

Harry had to laugh, crossing his arms as he watched intently, eyes locked on her as she went through the items. The light in her eyes, the excitement she showed as she was going through her purchases and explaining where each piece would go and her ‘vision’ for the spaces. Was there really a need for miniature Christmas trees in every bathroom? No. But he wouldn’t mind. It didn’t hurt anything and he was sure any of his men wouldn’t say anything either. Nothing but compliments allowed for Y/N’s sake.

“And then!” She stood up, tapping her fingers together. “I got you a tree for your office. And before you give me the Harry Eyebrow raise- your’re starting it, stop- it’s flocked. We won’t decorate it besides some lights. I know you’re a macho man who runs underground crime and all that but…” she brought the box over to him, presenting it like it was a gold dabloon. “I thought about what you’d like. Simple and elegant. It’s a pretty tree and we can set it up together. That’s all the decor for your office cause it’s your space but I just….” She fiddled with the box, looking down at it. “I wanted you to be happy too. I know things are a bit hard now, that you’re on edge. I hope that it makes you feel a bit less like your head is lost in this. That you’re still normal.”

And there it was. One of the biggest reasons why he loved her. Her pure thoughtfulness was something that Harry never would be able to find in anyone else. Despite him trying his best to shield her from some of the tiny, insignificant parts of this that would grate on him? She noticed. Holidays never felt special before her. Last year had been calm and she had given him the best Christmas he ever had, which he had admitted when curled naked around her, stroking her supple skin. Confessing how hard the holidays were especially when shit like his business was life or death for a lot of people. The weight was heavy and he tried to keep afloat but sometimes he would drown in it.

She was his life preserver.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, sitting up straighter as his finger crooked. Motioning her over to come right to him. “Come give me a cuddle before you go back to your work. We can set it up together. You’re very thoughtful, darling girl.” As soon as he could get his hands on her she was tugged into his lap, straddling him as he curled an arm around her and pulled her face down so he could kiss her cheeks. “My very own angel. Couldn’t ask for anything better.”

Harry didn’t care about stockings or anything under the tree. Lights didn’t phase him. All he needed was this. Her. Seeing her in his bed every morning as she whined for him to stay, finding his marks on her skin after nights of passion, getting to be the receiver of these sort of thoughtful gestures. She was his person. “I love you.” Her voice floated over him, snugly placing her arm around his neck. “I want to lessen the burden. Want you to have an escape.”

“You are my escape. Helped make this house a real home. I completely and utterly adore you.” His words were weighted, settling in her belly as she smiled down at him.

“That’s all I can ask for.” Her fingers delicately brushed over his jaw, the stubble rough against the tips. “You are my dream. Didn’t know I had such an intense dream of love, but you’re easy. Despite everything else you’re the easiest person to love that I could imagine. It comes naturally.” Her eyes focused on his, letting him see how truthful the sentiment was. “Thank you for indulging in me. I know you don’t care too much about the decorations but you’ll help me and look at the things I’ve bought because it makes me happy.” She watched him go to open his mouth but she shook her head. “S’okay. Promise. It makes me happy that you do it anyways. But… I just hope you know how much I appreciate you.” She ended the thanks with a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Come on then. I need my Scrooge to roll up those Armani sleeves and use that strength to help me put up the tree. I got an artificial one. We need to save the forest.”

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buckttommy · 1 year

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Obsessed with the way that the main takeaway of Eddie's arc in this episode wasn't "Eddie is alone because he wants to be and wishes to remain that way," but rather, "Eddie is open to romantic love and has no idea how to go about achieving it." If that doesn't indicate a man struggling with the complicated nature of having feelings for his best friend — who just died, by the way, and almost left his son without a parent again — then I don't know what does.

Everything, every single thing Eddie does is, in some part, for Christopher. I have to assume that means the things he doesn't do too. And you cannot convince me that part of Eddie's reticence with taking that step and involving himself with Buck isn't in part due to the possibility of Buck leaving (either through death or some other manner). He said it in Season 2 when he told the girl (in so many words) and he said it again tonight: he and Christopher make a good team. Because Eddie doesn't worry about himself. He knows he's not going anywhere, he knows he's not leaving, he knows he's not taking stupid risks, he knows he doesn't have a death wish.

And hey, maybe Buck doesn't either these days. Maybe the will knocked something loose in his head, made him less reckless, more safe. But he still almost DIED. And even if Eddie was comfortable with the possibility, or had at least started to consider the idea of a life with Buck, him DYING must have thrown everything into stark relief. The idea of "I could lose him at any time, but so could my son, and THEN what?" like idk that must have brought all that fear that Eddie thought he was so comfortable with (or maybe didn't even give himself the chance to acknowledge!) rushing back.

And so now he's here and he knows Buck is the one (or at least close to it) just as much as he knows he's dragging his feet just as much as he knows he could lose him — lose all of it — in a single moment. And it's excuses, right? like we could all lose someone we love at any given time, but the terror he must feel oh my gosh.

#BABY IT'S OKAY IT'S OK I PROMMY 😭😭😭😭#tv: 911 #jack.txt #911 spoilers

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mavrintarou · 11 months

Text

Wipe Your Eyes [6]

Thank you for all your patience with me, there were some family events the last couple of weeks and sometimes it's just never ending. I hope you all have been well and here's some sweet Kiyoomi.

Warning: sweet smut, therapy session for Y/n, less angst and more fluff

Fifth part Seventh part - end

Kiyoomi endured a few more weeks of Couvade Syndrome before he miraculously woke up one day and felt fresh and new as if nothing happened.

Y/n watched him shove food down his throat as he was finally able to eat and keep the food down. He requested things that he had never eaten before and things he has shown a dislike for, such as a chocolate cream pie. With extra whipped cream.

“You sure you don’t want any?”

Y/n shook her head with a smile, “no, I’m good.” She felt relieved that he was feeling better.

At first, she couldn’t possibly believe Kiyoomi was going through Couvade Syndrome, but everything would point to it.

The morning sickness.

The mood swings.

The fatigue.

On certain days, he would experience one or two symptoms, while on others, he would be stuck by the full array of symptoms, making it challenging to witness him cope with the effects.

The timing was a blessing in disguise as Kiyoomi was in his off-season of volleyball. Some days he would not be able to get out of bed or out of the bathroom.

“I’m so dizzy.” He mumbled when Y/n would come to check in on him. “Don’t be on your feet too long, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/n answered softly, kissing his forehead, and combing his curls out of the way. Even when he wasn’t feeling the best, he still put her before him.

Kiyoomi throws an arm over his eyes and muttered, “I’m serious.”

“I know, I won’t be on my feet for more than what the therapist ordered.” She has been going to physical therapy on her own since Kiyoomi wasn’t in the best shape to tag along. “Will it make you feel better if I come work in bed beside you?”

He glanced at her with one eye, a glimmer of hope in his gaze. “You would do that for me?” he asked. She nodded, and a small smile graced her lips, “yes, that would make me feel better.”

When she returned with her laptop to spend the rest of her work hours reviewing, he was out completely. He was shirtless with only his boxers on, he complained about being hot one second and cold the next, it was easier to just have him sleep in the least amount of clothing with the space heater set on low.

She shook her head, amused by the sound of Kiyoomi’s quiet snores. Moving as close as she could to him, she ensured there was physical contact before settling into her own comfortable position and starting her work.

A few hours later, she shut her laptop down and leaned over to set it on the nightstand. Kiyoomi was now turned towards her with an arm over her lap and one long heavy leg was thrown over hers.

Leaning over, she kissed his temple and whispered, “Omi, welfare check, how are you doing?”

She wasn’t sure if he was alert or not, but she heard his exhale and he shifted, pulling her closer.

“Yomi…?” Y/n’s voice cut off as she feels something hard pressing and rubbing against the side of her thigh.

Yearning for a sort of solace, Kiyoomi was dry humping her thigh, groaning in his sleep.

“Kiyoomi?” Y/n cupped his cheek, “hey – “

“Y/n?”

She looked at him, but his eyes remain closed, “yes?” He rolled over her, face buried into her tummy, “Omi?”

“… need… you…”

Y/n lifts his head, cupping both cheeks, “Omi, look at me, please?” He raised his head, and despite the weariness in his eyes, they gleamed with a mixture of longing and passion.

“How do you need me?” At her question, Kiyoomi rocked his bulge against her thigh.

“Please…” he rubs his face against her chest. His eyes widen as in a split second, he is on his back with Y/n straddling over his waist. She tugs off her shirt and pushes her sweatpants and panties off before tugging off his own joggers. He allowed and enjoyed Y/n manhandling him before she rocked herself against his cock, sliding along his length and driving him mad. Her wetness lubricated his girth through her rocking.

A quiet moan escaped her lips, he wasn’t even inside of her, but he felt long and thick.

He grabs her hips, digging his thumb into her skin. “No… no more teasing…”

Y/n lifts herself and Kiyoomi takes his cock and aligns it beneath her entrance and guided her down until he was fully sheath inside of her.

Kiyoomi groaned, “wait – too deep…” he tried to lift her hips, but she dropped her weight, shaking her head.

Her eyes shut tightly, biting down on her lower lip. “You’re so big…”

His hands hesitated briefly before gently shifting towards her abdomen, where their growing baby reside. He could sense the subtle transformation taking place within her body.

Y/n placed her hands on his for a split second before threading her fingers with his and began rocking her hips. “Ah… Omi…”

His face twisted in pleasure, he gasped out loud, and Y/n found his moans endearing. Kiyoomi rarely made noises during lovemaking, he panted and grunted but never a moaning mess beneath Y/n.

Y/n leaned down to kiss him, “Omi… you sound so beautiful…”

He shakes his hands free from hers and reaches around her back to undo her bra, taking off the material as it rubbed against his chest. He groped her breasts, taking in a perky nipple into his mouth while tweaking the other side.

Y/n wasn’t sure if it was the idea of pregnancy sex but every touch from Kiyoomi was sending her spark and tingles everywhere. She continued to roll her hips, hitting the deep spot within her. “Omi… I’m so close… you feel – “

“You feel amazing,” he finished and thrusts up into her.

“Omi!” Y/n cried, weight collapsing onto him. Her sensitive walls shudder around his cock as he continues to keep thrusting into her.

“Y/n!” Kiyoomi grunts, hips jerking with each ejaculation release.

“All you needed was some sex and now you’re feeling brand new?” Y/n teased watching Kiyoomi walk around their place in only his joggers. A vibrant flush colored his cheeks, transforming his appearance from sickly to healthy and vibrant.

No one would have suspected that an hour ago, he was in bed drained from Couvade Syndrome.

Kiyoomi was literally glowing with fully charged energy.

“Glad we found a way to fix it.” He winked at her with a smirk on his face. Winked. At. Her.

Y/n’s jaw dropped for a split second before her cheeks flushed.

. .

“Sakusa Y/n, please tell me about yourself?”

Y/n clears her throat, it was her turn to meet individually with Dr. Kitagowa. “Do you want to know like my childhood up until now?”

“Yes please.”

Taking a deep breath and exhaling, ”I am an only child. My father is full Korean while my mother is half Korean and half Japanese. I spent my childhood going back and forth between South Korea and Japan to visit my maternal grandparents up until their passing. I continue to visit occasionally and after finishing high school in South Korea, I was accepted to the university in Japan where I spent my college years here.” She eyed Dr. Kitagowa who is scribbling on their notepad. “I met Kiyoomi, my husband… during our college days.”

Her mind wandered back to memory lane.

“He…” her words cut off as she broke into a fit of giggle, remembering the first time she saw Kiyoomi. “The first time I met Kiyoomi, he was so beautiful. He still is but that was the first thing I thought when I saw him take off his mask to eat in the cafeteria.” She remembered her eyes bulging out and she was starstruck.

She nearly dropped her tray of lunch.

Every day thereafter, she would hope to catch a glimpse of him in the same spot at the same time.

She found out his name through the grapevines and that he was on the men’s volleyball team where she’s seen all their games.

Y/n was astounded by the stark contrast between the awkward guy at the lunch table and in the hallways and the one she witnessed on the court. It was hard to believe they were one and the same person.

Each day, she longed for the chance to capture his gaze.

“I would pray ‘Please look at me.’ over and over…” she sighed with a laugh. “And then one day, my club was having a bake sale and I would never expect in a million years that Kiyoomi… would come up to me and purchase some cookies,” Y/n remembers having the dumb smile on her face, the flutter in her tummy, and the excitement jitters. “I ran into him a few more times after that and then one day he asked me if I was free.” She was so stunned at his question, unsure if she was hearing it right. She didn’t want to overthink that he was asking something she was imagining. “He asked me ‘Would you like to come to my game?’… little did Kiyoomi know, I have been going to all the home games, cheering for his team.”

Y/n fiddled with her skirt, “but I couldn’t let him know that he would think I was weird or something.”

Dr. Kitagowa had a small smile on his face, “does Mr. Sakusa know now that you did, in fact, attend his games prior to him asking you?”

Y/n nodded, blushing, “yes, I told him later.”

“What happened next?”

“I went to the game, and even though it wasn’t the first game I’ve gone to… it was the first one he invited me to, so I was extremely nervous.” She remembered being upset because she couldn’t get seats close to the court and had to sit towards the top. She wished she could have gotten his phone number to text him that she was there, at the nose-bleed seats. “Of course, they won the game, and I was super… proud of him but I couldn’t find him after the game, so I went home.” The next day, she made it to the university early to try and find Kiyoomi, in which she found him.

“I came too late and got terrible seats, but I did watch you play.” She blurted the sentence under one breath. “You were amazing.” She couldn’t tell what he was thinking and felt pathetic blabbering away.

“I was looking for you.”

She looked up at him, “you were? I was there, I swear – “

Kiyoomi pulled his mask down, “I believe you.” He smiled, it was small, but he smiled.

“I always knew from the beginning, that Kiyoomi was not… a romantic man.” She sighed with a small smile on her face. “I’ve always imagined myself with a romantic man who would hold my hand in public and show public affection.” Kiyoomi was the exact opposite. She discovered that Kiyoomi wasn’t wearing a mask just because it was flu season, he wore a mask all the time unless he was in the comfort of his own home. “Nonetheless, I respected Kiyoomi’s boundaries and when we began seeing each other more and more, he finally asked me out and it was one of the best days of my life.”

Well, for her but not for those around her.

A considerable number of her friend and even her parents did not hold a favorable opinion of Kiyoomi. They didn’t like his stoic and detached personality.

“Kiyoomi is frequently misunderstood, and since we started dating, we have encountered certain challenges in our relationship.”

You don’t come out anymore.

You’ve changed since you dated Sakusa.

He has no personality.

He is so hard to have a conversation with.

Y/n looked at Dr. Kitagowa who had been silent the entire time that she rambled on about her life. She didn’t like to talk much about her parents’ dislike of Kiyoomi. “My parents… did not like nor want me to date a Japanese man because my paternal grandparents are loathing the Japanese people. My dad fell in love with a Japanese woman who was willing to give up her culture and identity to be with him.” And when Y/n fell in love with a Japanese man, her paternal grandparents made a fuss about how it was an eye-for-an-eye.

“How did Mr. Sakusa’s family feel about you?”

“They were definitely more welcoming than my family. They embraced and supported us wholeheartedly, genuinely happy for both Kiyoomi and me. I have developed a strong bond with his mother, enjoying a good and harmonious relationship with her. On the other hand, I only have occasional encounters with his father when he’s in the country.”

Dr. Kitagowa lets out a deep sigh, “are you being accused of giving up your culture and identity to be with Mr. Sakusa?”

“I grew up mostly in South Korea, but I was always more in tune with my Japanese heritage. I wouldn’t say that I’m giving up or favor one over the other.” She pressed a hand to her abdomen, “we’re expecting, and I have not yet discussed it with Kiyoomi yet, but I would love to give our child a Korean name, a middle name. I don’t have a Japanese name, Y/n, is my unofficial name given to me by my maternal grandparents.”

“What is the relationship between your husband and parents?”

Y/n lets out a shaky laugh. It was rocky. It is still rocky. “Initially, they held a negative opinion of him, and unfortunately, their perspective has remained unchained. At present, they merely tolerate his presence.”

“How does that affect you?”

“It saddens me, and I’ve been put in a situation by my parents that I would have to choose between them or Kiyoomi.” It brought tears to her eyes thinking back to that moment. “And I choose Kiyoomi because he never once made me choose.” She reached for the tissue box, dabbing her eyes. “Even through our ups and downs, I would always choose Kiyoomi.”

. .

Kiyoomi leaned against the doorway of the room that was going to be the baby’s room. He envisioned the perfect placement for the crib, dresser, and rocking chair, carefully imagining their positions in the room.

Will their baby be a boy or a girl? What color should they paint the nursery?

He sighed, regardless of if it was a boy or girl, he prayed they look like their mother.

Kiyoomi frowned, now that he thought about it, he has never seen any of Y/n’s baby or childhood photos before.

His thoughts are disrupted when hears Y/n’s return.

“Hey,” he greeted, noticing the signs of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion etched across her face. “Are you… okay?” She finally lifts her gaze, revealing red eyes that immediately caught his attention. Without hesitation, he closed the distance between them, tenderly cupping her face in his large hands. His eyes searched hers, filled with concern and yearning for answers. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked, his voice filled with genuine worry.

She shook her head and surprised him when she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Can you hug me, please?”

Kiyoomi’s arms enveloped her in a comforting embrace, and he tenderly placed a kiss on the crown of her head. “You never have to ask,” he whispered softly, “I’ll be there for you.”

A few minutes passed in serene silence, creating a comfortable and tranquil atmosphere.

“Can we move to the couch?” She nodded her head and Kiyoomi shuffled them to the couch without having to break their hug. He pulled her onto his lap, and she tightened her arms around his neck. He’s not sure what shook her up like this, but he was going to try and be patient and let her open up to him.

One hand rubbed her thigh, and the other hand rubbed her lower back. “Please, talk to me,” he whispered with a hint of anxiety lacing his voice. “You’re making my mind and heart race.”

Y/n pulled back and looked at him, a hand touching his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she replied, her voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and strength. “The therapy session today brought back some old wounds, but it’s nothing detrimental. It served as a reminder of how far I’ve come and how those experiences have shamed me into the person I am today.”

His dark eyes softened, and he leaned into the gentle touch of her palm. “What kind of person have you become?” he mused, a contemplative expression crossing his face.

She maintained eye contact, reflecting her soft, affectionate gaze back at him. With a small, heartfelt smile, she replied, “one that chooses you.”

Kiyoomi bit down on his lower lip to prevent it from trembling. He lets out a soft chuckle and drops his head onto her shoulder, “I love you, so much.”

All of Kiyoomi’s teammates nervously exchange glances in silence. While their coach spoke about the upcoming season and the slight changes in training, their attention was repeatedly drawn to their teammate at the far end. It had been a few weeks since they last saw him, and they couldn’t help but feel perplexed by the profound transformation in Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Kiyoomi.

Out in public.

Without a mask.

Atsumu is the first to dare speak when the coach dismissed them to begin warmup, “Omi-Omi… do… you need a mask?”

“No, I have some, thanks though.” His brow raised at the team, “why are you guys acting like this is the first time you’ve guys seen my face?”

Shoyo chuckles, “well Sakusa-san, this is the first time we’ve seen you enter the gym without a mask.”

Kiyoomi kept his composure and refrained from flinching when Kotaro’s face got really close to his. “What?”

The hyperactive silver hair narrowed his eyes at Kiyoomi, “are you feeling okay?”

Kiyoomi slapped his hand before it could touch his forehead, “I’m fine, what’s wrong with you all?” He walked towards the court grumbling, “hurry up and let’s start practice.”

Feeling his wife’s gaze upon him for some time, Kiyoomi finally asked, “what?” After his training session, he suggested going to the mall for dinner and some shopping.

When they arrived at the mall, Kiyoomi got out of the car without a mask and Y/n watched him with wide eyes as he made his way over to her side and opened the door. She didn’t say anything, thinking maybe he’ll put his mask on when they got into the mall.

But he did not.

Her cheeks flushed red, being caught. “Ah – are you… you sure you’re okay without a mask?”

He sighed and turned until he stood in front of her, “I’m fine. I promise.”

Following his initial therapy session, he came to the realization that change was necessary. It was time for him to venture beyond the confines of his comfort zone.

“Consider attempting or revisiting something that makes you feel uncomfortable but won’t cause any harm.” Dr. Kitagowa suggested before ending their last session. Kiyoomi thought hard about it and decided he will try to go out in public without a mask on.

He couldn’t recall the last time he ventured into public spaces without wearing a mask. It all traced back to when he contracted a severe cold from this desk mate back in elementary school. Ever since that incident, he had become accustomed to wearing a mask wherever he went. Moreover, his mother, being a nurse, had instilled in him the importance of good hygiene, further reinforcing the habit.

Y/n did not look convinced her husband was truly fine without a mask in public. She has never seen him go out in public without a mask.

He gently squeezed her hand, reassuringly stating, “I’m truly fine. Come on, let’s go to the new baby store. I’ve been eager to check it out.” He let out a sigh of relief as she didn’t press further, grateful for her understanding.

. . .

E/n: daddy and husband Sakusa is just something else...

>>> @pierroswife @queenelleee @eadyladlegard @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy @chickflickjunkie @saikisho3 @sunawayx @vicolangelo @tsumu-senpai @famebydefinition @imnotjo @jojowantstocry @levistiddies

#haikyuu smut #haikyu x reader #sakusa smut #sakusa kiyoomi smut #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #sakusa fluff #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa kiyoomi x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi angst #sakusa kiyoomi x reader

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bestiesenpai · 1 year

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Youtuber Itadori

Gardener Itadori is the cutest thing ever and I tried to make him as cute as possible here lol. Femme reader 9.6k words

Hands in the soil, dirt beneath his nails and a bountiful harvest in his little wicker basket - that’s what Itadori’s life had become, and he wasn’t mad about it. After inheriting a home and land in the countryside from his grandfather, Itadori scoffed at the idea of living in the slow countryside, but burdened with morality, he went and discovered that it was actually the best thing for him.

Quickly getting to work, he collected rain water, installed solar panels, had a massively flourishing garden that he rotated with seasonal plants all year round and cultivated a nice relationship with the local farmers. Everyone traded their wares, holding markets in the town center that people from all over would come and visit.

Itadori haphazardly stumbled into making YouTube videos one day when he decided to post a video of the apples he’d just picked to show his friends. It wasn’t a long video, ten minutes max, but for some reason the algorithm had decided to bless him and put his video in front of a million people.

The comments made him smile, they were all so supportive of his hard work. A few made him blush, calling him impossibly cute among a few other embarrassing things. And that was how his channel was born. Ordering a few cheap supplies off Amazon, Itadori filmed whatever he thought was interesting: his spring harvest, deadheading flowers, the farmers market and the handmade soap he got one day.

He had imagined his life to be filled with the busy atmosphere of the city, but the relaxed pace of the countryside brought his mind at ease. All he needed to do here was make enough to pay for utilities and keep himself fed. Sure he missed his friends, but they were always a phone call or a train ride away and he had managed to make more friends during his time here.

Walking the rows of his garden, Itadori filmed the plants along the way, narrating what he was planning to do with the upcoming summer season and what fruits and vegetables he was excited to grow. Quickly posting the video to TikTok, he tucked his phone away and forgot about it; becoming entranced with small insects and birds that visited often got him distracted.

“Yuji!” Someone shouted, drawing Itadori’s focus away from the caterpillar he was feeding a berry to. Dusting off his pants, Itadori came to a stand and looked around to find the voice.

“Hey!” He waved back upon landing eyes on Daichi, the retired farmer standing at the edge of his field. Bounding towards him, Itadori could see the gray streaks of hair permeating the otherwise dark strands on the man's head. “What’s up, gramps?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Flicking his chin, Daichi began to walk towards his home and Itadori followed dutifully. It wasn’t a far walk, hardly five minutes and they were at the front door.

“(Y/N)! C’mere!” Daichi beckoned and the sound of rushed footsteps gave way to a side door opening in the hallway and a flustered individual staring back.

“I told you I’m in a meeting!” You hissed, eyes flicking to Itadori but not paying him any mind. “Give me a minute, please?” Not waiting for a response, you hurriedly closed the door and went back to work.

“Who’s that?” Following Daichi to the living room, Itadori accepted the lemonade that was offered to him by Daichi’s wife.

“That’s the grandkid.” Daichi huffed, taking a sip from his own glass. “She’s here for the summer to spend some time with us.”

“Hmm.” Nodding along, Itadori’s eyes wandered to the hallway, where if he strained he could hear your voice.

“There ya are!” Throwing up a hand, Daichi grunted. “I thought you said you were on vacation, what’s with the work?”

“Not yet. I told you I have some things to finish up for the end of the week and then I’m free.” Rolling your eyes, you entered the fray. Itadori tried not to giggle at the button up you’d thrown on over an old shirt for your meeting. You quickly took it off, laying it over the back of the couch before sitting down next to your grandfather.

“Whatever.” Waving off your attitude, Daichi gestured to Itadori. “We have a guest, say hi.”

“Hey, I’m (Y/N).” Giving him a brief wave, you settled into the cushions.

“I’m Itadori, I live in the house next door.”

“Got it from his grandpa! You remember old man Wasuke, right?”

“Kinda…” Wasuke hadn’t lived in the area for long, and what you remembered of him was that he gave you money for some candy at a festival once.

“Wasuke wasn’t much of a farmer but Yuji here? Why, he’s got a great green thumb!” Laughing to himself, Daichi pushed up off the couch. “Stay here and chat, I’m going to see what grandma is making for lunch.”

As Daichi shuffled away, Itadori took the opportunity to observe you a bit more. You were typing furiously on your phone, mumbling that you’d be done in just a few seconds. He couldn’t deny he thought you were cute, hoping that this coming summer you would have a chance to hang out - just the two of you.

“What kind of things do you grow?” Finally tossing your phone away, you looked up at Itadori, seemingly not noticing that he’d already been staring at you.

“I-I grow a lot of things!” Clearing his throat, he tried to hide his surprised blush with his cup. “Right now I’m transitioning to summer crops and I really hope to grow some amazing strawberries this year and make some jam.”

“That sounds cool, you’ll have to let me come by and see the garden.”

“(Y/N) can’t even grow a houseplant!” Daichi shouted from the kitchen, causing you to jump up in defense.

“Grandpa be quiet!” Now it was your turn to blush, heat crawling over your entire body. You could hardly look at Itadori when you sat down, slapping your hands over your face as Daichi laughed. “God, he’s so embarrassing.” While what he said was true, why did he have to say it in front of the cute boy you’d be seeing the whole summer?

“It’s okay!” Itadori chuckled a little, enamored by your bashfulness. “I think you can grow something if you really put your mind to it.”

“Thanks.” Collapsing onto the couch, you stared at the ceiling. “But honestly, I’d probably need divine intervention to keep a plant alive longer than three weeks.”

“I’ll make sure whatever you plant stays alive the whole summer.” Whatever Itadori had to do, he was ready.

“Promise?” Turning to look at him, you stuck your hand out, pinky outstretched to him.

“Promise.” Quickly locking his pinky with yours, Itadori shook your hand. He’d have to remember to grab your number before he left, now that he had an excuse to start talking to you.

Talking a bit more, it wasn’t long till lunch was ready and Itadori was sitting at the dining table with a sandwich in front of him. He’d eaten in the house before, but it was different now that you were here.

“Did’ya know Yuji makes videos about plants?” Daichi asked, looking at you curiously. “Puts ‘em on YouTube and stuff.”

“Really? What’s the name of your channel, I’ll check it out!”

“(Y/N) works for a big PR agency in the city, maybe she can help promote you.” Daichi said with a proud smile on his face.

“Grandpa, I work with musicians.”

“You never know, maybe Yuji is into music!”

“Not really.” Itadori laughed, shaking his head. “I go to karaoke sometimes but that’s about it.”

Chatting away into the day, eventually you had to return to your laptop and finish out a few more things for the workday. Itadori had scored not only your number, but you were now mutuals on a bunch of social media sites. When you balked at his TikTok and YouTube following, it made Itadori’s chest swell a bit.

He didn’t see you for a few days after, with you being busy on your laptop and him being busy in the garden, there was no time to meet. But you did text him occasionally, sending pictures of plants you were hoping to grow and if there was something funny to show on Twitter.

When Saturday came, you sent Itadori a text in the morning asking if you could come over to see the garden. He instantly replied, dropping everything he was doing and running around the house to prepare for your visit.

Making a lunch, drinks, cleaning dishes that were already clean and making sure the greenhouse out back was spotless - he’d done everything a million times over and it still didn’t feel like he was ready enough when you rang the doorbell.

“C-coming!” Nearly tripping over an area rug, Itadori ran to the door. Opening it in a hurry, you gasped at the sudden motion and Itadori gasped upon seeing you. In a pale yellow sundress and a wicker hat no doubt made by your grandma, you were exactly what Itadori imagined the cutest gardener ever to look like.

“Hi!” You smiled, waving a hand at him. The faint smell of sunscreen drifted towards him and Itadori stepped aside to let you in.

“Hi.” He replied dumbly, closing the door after you. He suddenly felt self conscious of the decor of his home; it wasn’t modern in any sense, all of the furniture belonging to his grandpa before he passed.

“I remember this!” Stopping in the hallway, you pointed at a painting of a field of tulips.

“You do?” Itadori had passed by the artwork many times and didn’t think it had any special meaning.

“Yeah! Our grandpas painted together when I was young, I remember finger painting some of the tulips on here.” The tips of your fingers brushed the canvas as the memory came back to you of sitting on Daichi’s lap and insisting on helping.

“That’s really cute.” Itadori cooed, wishing he could have been there as well. Shuffling towards the backdoor, Itadori beckoned you to follow. “I have something to show you.”

Following him diligently, your jaw dropped at the garden before you. There were rows of large spring crops ready to be harvested, several flower bushes being visited by bees, and a few garden beds filled with rich dark soil and seedlings taking root. You couldn’t help but stop and smell some of the flowers as you walked through the garden, smiling at the ladybugs and caterpillars that called the leaves home.

“This is amazing.” Coming upon a large archway in the path, it was fully enclosed in climbing roses, some beginning to flower and show delicate pink blossoms.

“These are cecile brunner roses.” Coming up to one, Itadori plucked a flower and held out the stem for you, which you happily took. “At first I didn’t think it would ever grow, but luckily it took to the soil.” There were countless days spent doing research on the best soil, watering techniques and fertilizer to get the roses to not only grow and climb around the archway but to also survive the winter.

“Grandpa wasn’t kidding when he said you’re a great gardener.” Coming to the edge of the garden, you saw an empty little plot of dirt waiting patiently to be used. “How cute.” Crouching down, you giggled at the sign made with popsicle sticks and cardboard that read ‘(Y/N)’s garden’.

“Made it this morning.” Rubbing the back of his neck bashfully, Itadori motioned to the greenhouse off to the side of the garden. “I have a bunch of seeds in the greenhouse ready for you to choose from. A bunch of flowers and stuff.” Was it wrong to assume you would like to grow flowers? He didn’t want to stereotype you or make you feel bad-

“I’d love to grow some flowers!” Cutting off his inner monologue, you started toward the little structure. “I can give them to my grandma!” Itadori watched you walk away for a few paces before following you, his long stride catching up with you in no time.

Inside the greenhouse, with its frosted windows and higher humidity, it felt like the two of you were in a completely separate world. Itadori had set up the building shortly after moving in, assembling and filling it with gardening supplies and saplings in record time. He’d laid out all the summer seeds he had for you on his work table, unsure of what you’d like.

“I definitely want to grow these.” Holding up a packet of sunflower seeds, you handed them to Itadori, who settled close to your side. “Definitely a watermelon too!” As you picked seeds, Itadori followed along, making a mental checklist of what soil and fertilizer would be needed.

“Hey (Y/N)...” Walking back to your little plot, Itadori wasn’t sure how to pose the question he had.

“What’s up?”

“Do you mind if I set up the camera and film this for a video?” It felt so awkward asking you this - no one was ever in his videos so he never had to worry about asking permission. “It’s not for anything weird, I promise! I just think it’d be nice to make a series for new gardeners. Y’know, give tips and stuff?”

“That’d be perfectly fine!” Your immediate response instantly eased Itadori’s nerves. “Have to capitalize on every chance to make content.”

“I’ll be right back!” He didn’t want to keep you waiting, breaking out into a sprint to grab his camera gear. Setting up his trusty dirt covered tripod, he made sure the scene wasn’t too washed out from the glaring sun before hitting record and running back in front of the camera.

“Hi, welcome back to my garden!” Itadori started the video; he didn’t do proper intro’s or fancy editing for his videos, he preferred to keep it simple. “This is-” Stopping himself short, he turned to you. “Wait, sorry I didn’t even ask if you wanted to be in the video.”

“I don’t mind! I’m already here anyway.” Giggling a little, you waved to the camera. “Hi, I’m (Y/N), someone that can’t garden to save her life.”

“Yeah, this is (Y/N).” Laughing at your introduction, Itadori loosened up as he spoke. Talking about the promise he had made and the seeds you chose to plant, he went through the packets with the camera and zoomed in on the empty soil.

“I’m going to list on screen the fertilizers I recommend for this kind of soil; it’s all kinds you can buy for cheap!”

“You’re really easy going in front of the camera.” You said after he turned it off. You’d interjected with funny quips here and there as you and Itadori planted, but for the most part you were quiet, letting him do his thing and rattle off a million and one gardening tips.

“You think so? That’s good to hear!” Your compliment meant a lot to him; he never had an audience before, and his friends never commented on it when they watched his videos. A light blush adorned his cheeks as he shot some b-roll footage, chuckling as you waved at the camera after being caught in a sweeping view.

“Do you edit all your videos yourself?” You asked, walking slowly side by side back to the house.

“I do.” It wasn’t the best by any means, but Itadori was proud of the skills he’d managed to scrape together during his time producing content. He thought about hiring an editor, or at least someone else to just look at his work, but he didn’t like the feeling that it gave him; like he was giving up on a part of his channel, delegating it to someone else when he should be taking responsibility and doing it himself.

“If you want, I can…possibly help? I do some video editing for my agency.” The words were hesitant to come out of your mouth and you didn’t look at Itadori as you said them. You knew it was risky, and you were prepared to hear a rejection come from him.

“I…” His previous sentiment flashed before him. “Sure, you can give it a try.” Saying it with a slight smile, on the inside Itadori was freaking out. He had no idea he would say that, shocking himself to the core. But looking at your tentative smile, the ease in your shoulders as you walked into his home, he found he didn’t regret it.

Sitting you at the dining table, Itadori brought out lunch. He had made a large salad with the vegetables he’d grown, putting in fish that he had bought at the market. He was proud to boast that he made the dressing himself as well as the lemonade in your cup.

“You’re amazing, Itadori.” The awe in your eyes bolstered Itadori, making his chest puff out with pride. He could see the stars in your eyes and wished he could take a picture to capture the moment forever. Choosing not to answer, he stuffed his mouth instead, watching with interest as you took your first bite. “Itadori, it’s amazing you’re not married already.”

“W-what?!”

“Especially living in this town.” Your statement made him blush fiercely, his entire body engulfing into a red flush. It was true some of the townsfolk had wondered about possibly setting him up, but Itadori felt too awkward to accept any dates.

“S-so, what kind of videos have you edited?” Desperate to change the subject before he embarrassed himself, Itadori glanced at his camera sitting on the table.

“Mainly short videos for bands, like if they film behind the scenes content or make a vlog.” Pulling out your phone, you brought up a recent video you edited. “We flew overseas for a brand campaign with an artist recently!” Leaning forward, Itadori watched the man on screen talk about his first time being in the city and working with the brand in question. The video was smooth, interjected with funny pictures or short meme videos, stickers and glowing pencil drawings adorning the man whenever he did something cute.

“He’s…” Itadori struggled to find a word to describe him. With a serious, almost sullen face and jet black hair, Itadori saw why he would be the face of a brand.

“Megumi’s a bit of a grouch.” You chuckled, pausing at one part of the video where he was eating ice cream. “He insisted on getting ice cream just because I said I wanted some, and ended up getting it all over his clothes!” And sure enough when you hit play, Megumi stumbled on a bump in the sidewalk and his cone went right into the middle of his shirt; a GTA death screen fading overtop him as he realized what happened.

“What kind of music does he make?” Itadori was impressed with your editing skills, but there was something weighing on his mind.

“Here, let me show you!” Eager to promote him, you pulled up Megumi’s most recent music video. Itadori nearly groaned at hearing the smooth tenor voice coming out, wanting to smack a hand over his face. There was no way he could compete with a guy like this.

“He sounds great.” Itadori wasn’t listening to the words at all - he was too busy picturing Megumi buying you ice cream, probably taking you to dinner once filming was over and getting you some fancy bottle of wine Itadori had no idea how to pronounce. “Is he your boyfriend too?” As he asked, his head slumped forward and pressed against the table. He couldn’t bear to hear a yes come from you.

“W-what?” Now it was your turn to be embarrassed. “N-no! He’s my- he’s the agency's client!” You didn’t even allow yourself to entertain that idea, not wanting to get caught up in silly daydreams and possibly losing your job for falling for someone.

“Good.” Whispering to himself, Itadori sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “Finish eating, I’m going to grab my laptop and upload the footage.” Quickly leaving the table, as soon as Itadori was out of earshot he leaned against the wall and let out a sharp exhale. Thank god.

Returning quickly, Itadori took a seat next to you instead of across, opening up his laptop and importing the footage as fast as he could. Just sitting next to you like this made him nervous, sliding over the laptop and trying not to breathe too loudly as your knees brushed together.

“Itadori, your computer’s a dinosaur.” Giggling at the piece of tech before you and nudging his shoulder, you took a glance over the screen.

“Shut up.” He nudged you back and laughed as well. His friends also teased him about it, but Itadori figured that as long as it still turned on, it was good enough for him. He wanted to spend his time in the garden, not worrying behind a screen.

“Itadori, do you think-” just as you were speaking, your phone interrupted with a blaring ringtone. “Shit sorry.” Scrambling to grab it, Itadori saw the name flash on screen: Megumi.

“Hello?” It was a video call, something you were ill-prepared for. Fixing your hair and clothes, you were met with the desperate face of Megumi’s agent.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” The man was close to tears, or at least that’s what it looked like to Itadori. “I need your help!”

“What is it, Jin?” Glancing at Itadori, you mouthed the word sorry and sent him a brief pout.

“I know you said you were on vacation for a while and that you would respond to emails once a week and to not bother you too much, but-”

“Gimme the phone.” Yanking it from his grasp, Megumi positioned himself into view with a scowl. “Where are you?”

Itadori’s mouth flashed a quick frown. Why was this man talking to you like this?

“You know where I am.” You replied in kind, playfully scowling back at Megumi. It was quiet for a moment, just the two of you staring at each other, before it was Megumi that broke the silence.

“Whatever. What’s my schedule for the week?”

“Ask your agent!” Rolling your eyes dramatically, you slumped in your chair. “He’s literally right next to you!”

“I don’t want to hear it from him.” Megumi copied your eye roll, earning a begrudging laugh from you. “Wait. Who’s that?”

“Who’s who?” You immediately jerked away from Itadori upon noticing his face was starting to peek into view.

“Are you with another guy?”

“Megumi, you can’t ask that!” Jin cried, tugging on his arm.

“It’s no one!” Another giggle came out from you, coated in nervousness. You didn’t expect Megumi to care who you were with.

“(Y/N), who-”

“He’s my boyfriend, bye!” Blurting out the line, you hung up the phone and slammed it on the table. Your entire body burned from humiliation and your phone was now getting a flurry of text messages.

“He…has your personal number?” Itadori asked slowly.

“Yeah.” Lifting up your phone, you groaned at all the messages from Megumi and now his agent as well. “Boss thought it’d be best for him to have it when we started working together. Ya know, ‘just in case’.” You’d never been more desperate for a proper work life balance than now. Sitting up, you took a look at the messages.

Megumi: (Y/N)! Call me

Megumi: answer the phone!!

Megumi: do you really have a boyfriend?!

Jin: (Y/N) I’M SO SORRY

Jin: just email me the schedule for this week

Jin: I promise to keep Megumi out of the way while you’re gone

Jin: JUST PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME

“Wow, they’re desperate.” Itadori didn’t mean to read your messages but it was difficult not to when you made no effort to hide them.

“Jin is always like this, I swear he was born a nervous wreck.” Pushing yourself away from the table, you wanted to curse at the moment that was lost between you and Itadori. It was normal for Jin to act this way, but Megumi was usually so nonchalant that you had trouble reading him at times.

“Let me get back home and put out the fire.” You had a dramatic slump to your shoulders that made Itadori laugh. “Do you mind sending me the files? I really want to edit the video.”

“No problem!” Giving you a thumbs up, Itadori led you to the door.

“Oh, and sorry about calling you my boyfriend.” You stuttered to a stop right as the door opened, taking a tiny step across the threshold and looking over your shoulder. “I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No, no worries.” Itadori waved it off. “I…I didn’t mind it all, actually.” Taking a quick glance at you, Itadori rubbed the back of his neck. Both of you stood still, worrying your lips and unsure of what to say next. “There’s a market in the next town over a few days from now, d’ya want to come with me?”

“I’d love that.” Your flushed smile and shy giggle made Itadori laugh himself.

“Great. I’ll text you the details.”

“Great.” The both of you gave each other once overs before finally separating and Itadori watched you walk away until he could no longer see you.

In the coming days, you had been unexpectedly swamped with work; apparently, you were the only one able to work with Megumi’s attitude and coax him into actually listening to Jin. You came over to Itadoris briefly, just to check on the plants and give him some bread your grandma made.

The day of the market, Itadori drove to you in his mini truck, the back filled with wooden crates of produce he intended to trade for some meat. Climbing in, the two of you set off down the road with a picnic basket in your lap; you and your grandma had woken up early just to make lunch for today.

“I’m so excited!” Bouncing in your seat, your eyes darted at every passing thing. You used to go to the neighboring towns a lot when you were younger but as you’d grown older you got too busy to do more than visit your grandparents.

Itadori smiled big at your enthusiasm and hoped the market would live up to all your expectations. You chattered about how it used to be when you came, before you got swept up in university and getting a job in the city. Listening happily, Itadori flicked the radio on.

“Oh my gosh, this is Megumi’s song!” Snapping to attention, you immediately turned the volume up, clapping giddily as his voice filled the car. “This is amazing! I have to let him know!” Quickly shooting off a message to him, you turned to Itadori. “What do you think of his song?”

“His song?” Resting his head in his hand, Itadori listened intently for a few moments. Megumi wasn’t a bad singer by any stretch, yet Itadori struggled to find something to say that wasn’t negative. “It’s good.”

“Just good?” You teased, leaning forward as the car slowed down at a red light. Itadori glanced at you from the corner of his eye, his cheeks getting a bit warm.

“If I say it’s amazing will you stop looking at me like that?”

“Ha!” Falling back into your seat, you laughed and sent off another message to Megumi. “I’ll let him know you love it.”

“Y-you’re telling him right now?”

“Of course! He worked really hard on this song!” He had spent many sleepless nights in the recording booth, only coming out to use the bathroom and to give you and Jin loathsome stares.

You came to the town in twenty minutes, nearly swaying Itadori to stop at a random field so you could take pictures of some grazing cows. Parking right at the edge of the market, Itadori first had to deliver his produce. He insisted on you staying in the car, not wanting you to lift anything heavy and hurt yourself.

“Alright, all done.” A few minutes later and you two began your walk down the market, shoulder to shoulder and looking curiously at every table.

“Smell this!” Picking up a bar of soap, you held it out and watched Itadori take a sniff.

“Oh, a sample!” A kind elderly man gave you and Itadori a slice of cheese.

By the time you were halfway down the market, Itadori was carrying a bag of things you stated you absolutely needed. You’d even bought him a few things, like a candle and homemade cookies.

“I love it here.” Sipping on an iced drink, you and Itadori wandered over to the nearby park, setting up your picnic and laying out on the grass. “I can’t wait for the summer festival, it’ll be even more fun!” You’d gone to the festival nearly every year, only missing out on recent years due to work.

“Yeah, it’ll be great.” Itadori was already forming a mental plan on how to ask you out at the festival, possibly right before the fireworks went off.

The two of you spread out on the blanket you’d laid down, people watching as you ate. The sun was warm against your skin, there was the light background noise of people in the distance, and once your stomach was full you decided to lay down.

“That cloud looks like a rabbit.” You pointed up at the sky. Itadori had laid down with you, not even trying to hide his yawn.

“Mmm, I don’t see it.”

“Your eyes aren’t even open.” Poking him, you got him to open one eye.

“Okay, maybe I see it.” Both of you laughed quietly, and while you tried to pick out more shapes from the clouds, Itadori fell asleep - with you unwittingly following suit soon after. It wasn’t a deep sleep by any means, you could still faintly hear people around you, but it felt good to relax for a bit.

A heavy weight across your midsection roused you in your slumber, drawing you closer to the body laying next to you. Looking out the corner of your eye, you saw Itadori still fast asleep, his head pushed against yours as his arm tightened around you.

“He’s so cute.” You whispered softly, fumbling to grab your phone and snap a couple pictures of him and the two of you together. You had to bite back the childish squeal that bubbled in your chest; the two of you looked cute together and if you were bolder you would show them to Itadori when he awoke.

Letting him sleep, you carefully sat up and began to put things away and back into the basket. At least half an hour had passed since you both laid down and there was no shortage of people still at the market.

Looking down at Itadori, you were unable to resist any longer and you ran a hand through his hair. It wasn’t exceptionally soft or silky, if anything it was a bit rough and in need of conditioner, no doubt from him being outside all the time but you liked the feeling between your fingers and you repeated the motion.

“Feels nice…” Itadori mumbled sleepily, pushing himself into your leg and groaning in appreciation at your fingers in his hair.

“Have a nice nap?” You chuckled, ruffling his hair a bit to stir him awake.

“How- how long was I asleep?” Interrupted by a yawn, Itadori forced himself to open his eyes and look into the sky.

“I’m not sure, I was asleep too.” Grinning at each other, Itadori yawned again and sat up on his elbow.

“We should head out soon, I need to load up the truck and get the meat home.” He made no move to get up any further, instead rubbing a hand over his face and shaking his head. Itadori looked at something in the distance, his mind trying to catch up with what was happening in the world.

“C’mon.” Helping him come to a stand, you folded up the blanket and tugged on his sleeve. “Let’s go.”

“Okay.” Comically dragging his feet, Itadori let you drag him back to the market. As you got back into the crowd of people, he slipped your hand from his sleeve and laced your fingers together. “Let’s stay close.”

The words came out smoothly and from your vantage point he looked perfectly calm moving through the crowd, but on the inside Itadori was freaking out. It was taking everything in him not to shake from holding your hand and if he dared look over his shoulder at you, he knew an embarrassing noise would escape him.

“Pretty flowers.” You said casually, looking at a table full of floral bouquets. Itadori took one glance at the table and turned, walking straight toward it.

“Which one do you want?” He asked, fishing out money from his wallet.

“Oh no, it’s okay, you don’t have to-”

“How about this one?” Itadori picked up a large bouquet of baby's-breath and tulips, a lovely pink shade that nearly matched his hair.

“These are gorgeous.” Taking the flowers from him, you took a whiff as Itadori paid for them.

“Such a loving boyfriend you have.” The shopkeeper cooed, handing Itadori his change.

“Thank you.” A blush overtook your cheeks and a smile spread across your face; you didn’t have the heart to correct them nor did you want to in the first place. Walking back to Itadori’s truck hand in hand, you sat in the car as he loaded a few coolers of meat into the back.

Hugging the bouquet to your chest, the two of you drove in relative quiet, listening to the soft noise of the radio as the day winded down.

“I had a great time today.” You spoke up as Itadori made it to the front of your home.

“I did too.” Putting the truck in park, he quickly hopped out and ran to your side to open your door. Taking hold of the hand he offered, you moved slowly, not wanting the time together to end. Standing in the doorway, Itadori stared straight at you, inching closer every few seconds.

“Welcome back you two!” Your grandpa’s voice shocked both of you, forcing Itadori to take a large step back from you.

“H-hey grandpa!” You waved, hoping he didn’t see you and Itadori just staring at each other. Closing the car door, you tipped your head at Itadori. “I’ll see you soon? I should be done editing your video by tomorrow.”

“Soon.” With a nod and a wave to your grandpa, Itadori got back into his truck and drove off, this time allowing his hands to shake as violently as they wanted to. When night fell and both of you were in bed, Itadori could hardly sleep, reliving the day over and over in his head. As he tossed for the hundredth time, his phone lit up with a text.

(Y/N): I got a vase for the flowers!

Attached to your text was a picture of the vase sitting on your bedside table. Another picture came in shortly after, of you holding the bouquet in your backyard, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun.

(Y/N): grandma really wanted to take this picture, she said she’s going to print it out and frame it

Itadori immediately saved it to his phone, having to stop himself from making it his wallpaper.

Itadori: you look beautiful

Gripping his phone tightly, Itadori stared at the screen. He didn’t care if his statement was too bold, he needed to let you know.

(Y/N): thanks

The word was sent between a flurry of heart emojis and Itadori just knew you were blushing like he was. Neither of you said anything further, opting instead to grip your pillows and try to force sleep to come.

As the days and weeks went on, you and Itadori spent more time together. He loved how you edited his video, asking if you’d like to do a few more for him and possibly show him how to do it as well for when you left. You filmed several more videos together, capturing the growth of your seedlings into blossoming buds with fledgling leaves. You also went over the video comments together, thinking of how best to reply to them.

Neither of you said anything about the comments shipping you, saying how cute you looked together and wondering when you would start dating if you weren’t already. A few people had asked if you also made videos or were on other social media platforms, but you declined to answer those, not wanting it to possibly affect your work negatively.

“(Y/N), call up Yuji and tell him to come over, I want to have a barbecue.” Your grandpa announced just after 4pm. He and your grandma had been going back and forth about what to do for dinner and he finally decided.

“Why do I have to do it?” You questioned, grabbing your phone nonetheless.

“Oh, and tell him to bring some beers-”

“Don’t you dare, you know the doctor told you not to drink on that new medication!”

“Dear, he said one or two was fine!” And back to bickering they were. Laughing under your breath, you slipped out into the back, looking at the wide open grassland before you as you waited for Itadori to text back.

“(Y/N)!” You didn’t have to wait long, Itadori called your name as he rounded the corner.

“That was quick!” Standing to greet him, you gave him a curious look. You’d only sent the message ten minutes ago and he was already here with a platter of vegetables and meat.

“I got excited, I haven’t had a barbecue in so long!” In dirt stained overalls and no shoes, you could see he had been working in the garden.

“Well I’ll let grandpa know you’re here.”

“Yuji!” As if on cue, the man came out of the house. “Such a good kid.” Taking the platter from him, your grandfather turned over his shoulder. “Dear, is the barbecue still in the shed?”

“I’ll get it.” Itadori immediately walked over to the building in question, pulling out the barbecue and a bag of charcoal. “Where d’ya want it, gramps?”

“Over here.” As the two of them got to work setting up the grill, you went back inside to grab drinks. In no time, all of you were outside, listening to music from an old stereo and waiting for the grill to heat up.

“So (Y/N), how’s that boy in the city?” Taking a sip of water, Daichi stared at the grill. “He done calling you all the time?”

“Megumi’s just stressed, this is the first time I’ve gone on a vacation like this since we met.” Itadori frowned at the topic of conversation; he couldn’t help but see Megumi as competition in winning you over.

“Oh Yuji, you’re so cute!” Cooing at the young man, your grandma glanced at you. “I think someone is jealous.” Giggling behind her hand, the elderly woman patted you on the shoulder as you slapped a hand over your face.

“Jeez Yachi, you could try to be more subtle!” Leaning back dramatically, Daichi groaned.

“I can’t help it!” She continued to tease, reveling in yours and Itadori’s embarrassed faces.

“I’m going to get more water before I die of humiliation.” Jumping up, you all but ran into the kitchen to escape. Going straight into the bathroom, you splashed cold water on your face to quell your scalding cheeks.

Once your body had cooled down, you exited the bathroom, surprised to see Itadori standing at the kitchen counter chopping vegetables. You could see the muscles in his arms flexing as he chopped, his already short sleeves rolled up to expose his shoulders.

“Did grandma put you to work?” Making your presence known, you tore your eyes away from his arms and over to the window where the two of them were standing over the grill.

“Yeah.” Itadori chuckled, focused on chopping. Leaning against the counter, you looked over to him, wanting to say something about your grandma’s comment. “I am jealous.” He spoke before you could, not tearing his eyes away from his task.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Glancing at you, he licked his lips nervously before continuing. “Jealous that he’s known you longer, he’s gone on a vacation with you and probably a bunch of other things I don’t even want to think about.” Setting the knife down, Itadori placed his hand over yours. “But I’ll beat him, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Beat him in what?” Your breath was hardly coming out and your heart was beating so loudly in your ears you were surprised any sound was able to be heard.

“In the race for you.” A shaky exhale left Itadori, his eyes making contact with yours briefly before dropping to your lips. “I’m going to win your heart before Megumi knows what hit him.” Giving your hand a brief squeeze, Itadori stepped away and grabbed the cutting board he’d been working on. “Alright, all done!” He yelled as he walked outside, leaving you alone to think about what just happened.

You wanted to deny it, push away the idea that Megumi might like you in that way, but there was no getting around it. You’d seen the signs yourself no matter how hard you pushed them away and if these past weeks were any indication, he was desperate not to lose you to Itadori.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur, your interaction with Itadori playing over and over in your head. A few other neighbors had joined the fray, helping to disperse the conversations and take attention away from you. You didn’t shy away from Itadori, sitting next to him when it came time to eat and walking him out when it got too dark to stay out any longer.

“Thanks for coming.” You two were now standing on the sidewalk, neither of you making a move to leave the other.

“I had a good time.” Rocking on his feet, Itadori reached out and hooked his fingers on yours. “I’ll see you soon?” He gave you a hopeful look from under his lashes, one that turned to happiness at your nod.

“Yeah, I need to check on my plants!”

“Plants, of course.” Chuckling, Itadori raised your hand to his lips, giving your knuckles a kiss and a squeeze before letting go. “See you.”

“Bye.” Biting your lip to hold back a childish giggle, you waited for Itadori to get a bit farther away before making yourself turn to go back inside. Itadori’s confession followed you to sleep, making butterflies erupt in your stomach everytime you thought about his lips on your hand.

With the summer festival coming up sooner than either of you had anticipated, the time you and Itadori spent together wasn’t as much as either of you had hoped. Being a strapping young man, he was put to work grabbing supplies and setting up booths. What time you did spend together was always short, just a quick exchange before Itadori was called to do other things or he was simply too exhausted to stay awake any longer.

But it was all worth it in the end, when you woke up and saw that the festival was beginning to start. People from other towns had come and set up, making the festival stretch widely across the town center.

“Itadori!” Painfully excited and jumping for joy, you knocked loudly on his front door. You knew he wasn’t at the festival already because you had made a promise to go together.

There were a few thumps from the other side of the door and a hushed ‘ow!’ before the door was yanked open.

“W-what time is it?” Itadori yawned, shielding his face from the sun. You couldn’t formulate an answer though, too busy ogling his shirtless physique. It was like seeing him for the first time all over again, your eyes drinking in every detail of his muscles.

“Eleven?” Your voice was terribly quiet and Itadori didn’t even hear it, opting to turn around and look at the clock on the wall.

“Damn, pretty late. Come in.” Dragging his feet through the hall, Itadori came to a halt at a coffee machine in the kitchen. “Want one?”

“I’m good.” Leaning against the dining table, you now stared at the muscles in his back, idly wondering what it’d be like to touch them.

“I see you staring.” Itadori teased, looking at you from the corner of his eye as he poured a cup of coffee.

“Shut up.” Whipping your head away, a blush cropped up on the back of your neck.

“I’ll get dressed and then we can go.” Quickly downing the drink, he did a light jog out of the kitchen. Five minutes later and Itadori reappeared, a light tank top adorning him. Escorting you out of the house, Itadori held up his camera.

“You’re filming a vlog?” You asked excitedly. He had never really filmed a video like this before and you were excited to see him broadening his content.

“Yes, I’m filming a vlog.” He was already holding up the camera, arm extended to capture both of you in the frame. “It’s the summer festival everyone! And me and (Y/N) are going!”

“It’s going to be great! There’s so much to do there!” You chimed in, pumping your first into the air.

“What should we do first? Maybe get some cotton candy?”

“Yes!” Scurrying ahead, you let Itadori continue to talk to the camera, excitement driving you forward. Briefly looking over your shoulder, you saw him film you running off and waving. Stopping once you reached the edge of the festival, you bounced on your toes waiting for him to meet up with you.

“Someone’s excited.” He teased, casually slinging an arm over your shoulder as you began your walk through the festival. You welcomed the motion, moving closer to him and letting your head rest on his shoulder for a moment.

Walking through the festival, Itadori had a hard time multitasking between vlogging and talking to you. He’d never filmed in such a public place before and it was making him nervous; not all the townsfolk knew he filmed videos.

“Hey Itadori!” A man sitting at a strawberry tanghulu stand waved the two of you down, gesturing to the fruit sitting on the table. “Look, these are with the strawberries you grew!”

“Wow!” Itadori had an impressed look on his face as he filmed it for the camera.

“Here, take some! They’re technically yours after all!” The man eagerly handed you a skewer of the fruit, giving you two a wave as you walked away.

“Don’t keep me waiting, try it.” Itadori nudged you; he wanted to see what you thought of his food. Biting down on the brittle sugar, you hummed and licked your lips.

“Only the best from the Itadori farm!” You exclaimed, waving the skewer at the camera. “I know all of you are jealous!”

“Gimme some.” Opening his mouth, Itadori waited for you to feed him. Taking a bite himself, he gave a thumbs up. “Amazing.”

Walking around the festival, the both of you stopped to talk to the other townspeople, some running stands and others just perusing themselves. There was a lot to see and do, from eating all the festival food you could get your hands on to watching live performances of local musicians.

“I should ask Megumi if he’d be interested in playing a festival, I want to go to more.” You said offhandedly, always eager to help broaden the exposure of your agencies clients.

“I should become a musician so I can have you think about me all the time.” Itadori teased, pinching your cheek.

“I think about you plenty!” Giggling and swatting at his hand, you captured it in yours, holding it tightly against your chest. Itadori laughed as well, untangling your hands to properly thread your fingers together.

“Good, ‘cause I think about you a lot.” Resting his head against yours, Itadori turned his attention to the music playing, turning the camera so it could capture it as well.

As the sun began to set, there was an excited murmur of the fireworks show to come. Itadori had helped put it together, driving cases of fireworks from one town to the other and helping plan out the order of everything on his ancient laptop.

“How cute!” Walking around a bit before it started, you stumbled upon a game stall where the prizes were large plushies. A large pink bunny had caught your eye, its ears much longer than its body.

“You like it?” Handing the camera to you, Itadori fished out a few dollars. “I’ll win it, no problem.”

“Alright, I’m counting on you!” Angling the camera, you made sure the whole stall was in frame before he started. Itadori was painfully focused, he hardly made a sound as he threw darts to pop the balloons a few feet away. Every throw landed, making you more anxious by the minute.

“It’s all yours.” The person manning the stall pulled down the rabbit and handed it to Itadori.

“Here you go.” Walking off, Itadori switched the camera for the rabbit.

“Thank you!” Feeling a rush of adrenaline, you bounced on your toes and swooped in, giving Itadori a kiss on the cheek. Clutching the plush close to your chest, you laughed at his shocked expression and how his eyes got wider upon realizing he caught it on camera.

“N-no problem.” He could hardly speak, surprised that you would even want to kiss him. Fighting the urge to grab you and kiss you back, Itadori tugged at your hand instead, focusing on walking straight and not passing out from how hot his face was.

Finding a spot to watch the fireworks, Itadori hugged you to his chest, resting his camera on his shoulder as the sky lit up. The babble of amazed children was drowned out every few moments by a loud boom and the crowd was bathed in a wonderful swatch of bright colors.

While the fireworks were going off, Itadori did mental gymnastics trying to figure out how he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. With the festival coming to an end, it also signaled the beginning of the end of summer, meaning you’d be going back to work in the city in no time. He worried so much about it all that the firework show came and went without him noticing.

“I had so much fun!” As the two of you walked out of the town center, your hands had naturally come together and swung back and forth.

“Me too.” Itadori turned the camera off now, it was too dark to really see anything on film. Passing by street lights, he dreaded every step closer to your homes. “(Y/N).” He stopped abruptly. “Let’s go on a walk.”

“Okay.” Sending him a curious look, you followed him down a side street away from home. Walking in silence, you could tell something was eating at Itadori because every few steps he would falter and look at you, only to snap his head away just as quickly. “Is something wrong?” Now it was your turn to stop under a streetlight, tugging him to stop as well.

“No.” Itadori said, refusing to look at you. “Well, yes…” Taking a glance at you made a groan come out of him and he threw his head back in frustration. “Nothing’s wrong, I just…just…” It was silent between you two: you looking at Itadori with worry and him staring at the sky trying to muster the courage to do something.

“Did I do anything wrong?”

“No!” Your question immediately brought Itadori back to earth, his wide stare throwing you off. “No, nothing!”

“Then what’s up? You’ve been acting weird since we left.”

“I-” Getting fed up with himself, Itadori let out a short and annoyed shout. “I just don’t want this night to end with me doing nothing!”

“Nothing?”

“Yes! I want to- I want to kiss you! I want to ask you out, I want you to be my girlfriend! But how can I ask any of that when I keep chickening out?” He hadn’t meant to shout, but Itadori was getting angry at himself. Squeezing your hand tighter, he leaned forward and rested his forehead on your shoulder. “I don’t want you going back to the city without at least knowing how much I like you.”

Itadori refused to lift his head after his final words, not wanting to see your expression lest it be something he didn’t want to see. Sure, he had stated that he intended to win your heart but this was different, he was actually coming out and saying how much he wanted to be with you.

“Itadori.” Nudging his head up, you got him to look at you, his cheeks a horribly deep shade of pink. Looking at you made it worse, but he leaned into the hand you placed on his cheek. “I thought you’d never ask.” Your words made a tremendous weight lift off his shoulders and Itadori nearly collapsed.

“Thank god.” He sighed happily, cupping your cheeks as well and laughing like a fool. “I don’t think I could stand to be rejected.” Pushing his forehead against yours, he closed his eyes and sighed again. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” The word barely left you before he was already putting his lips on yours. Itadori was smiling in the kiss, pushing his teeth into yours without meaning to. He kissed you a few times, managing to close his mouth properly a few times before finally parting.

“Alright, let’s get you home. I don’t want gramps to get the wrong idea about me.” Kissing you again, Itadori put his arm around your shoulder and began walking. The trip back was too short for either of your liking and you made it to your front door all too soon.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You asked hopefully.

“Of course.” Itadori punctuated his statement with a kiss. Sharing a long hug, you eventually separated and went inside. Taking a glance into the lounge room, you balked at seeing both your grandparents scrambling to fix the curtains. “Were you spying on us?”

“I- well- it was your grandma's idea.”

“No it wasn’t! You know grandpa is nosy!”

You couldn’t find it in you to be embarrassed at being caught by your grandparents. You just laughed it off and offered to give them the details which they happily listened to, giving you love advice every now and again.

With the end of the festival truly came the end of your summer holiday. Itadori and you harvested your crops, proudly showing the camera the bundle of flowers and produce you were able to grow. He edited the vlog of the festival himself as well, keeping in all the cheesy and romantic moments you two shared and titling it ‘finally getting a girlfriend’. There were hundreds of fan edits by the end of the week and Itadori clipped several moments to relive on his TikTok.

Once the day came to leave, you said goodbye to your grandparents, promising to come back soon. Itadori drove you to the train station, his hand laced with yours as he drove. He was pensive, not saying much as he drove; he had to constantly stop himself from turning the car around and driving you right back to town.

“You won’t forget about me right?” He asked as he helped grab your bags.

“How could I?” You knew for a fact that he and your grandparents would be blowing up your phone constantly asking for you to visit.

“Megumi better not give you any trouble.” Itadori would be ready to drive to the city at the drop of a hat just to put the melancholy man in his place. You laughed at that statement, rolling your eyes and taking your suitcase from him.

“Please, Megumi’s harmless.” Fixing your bags and checking the time, you missed Itadori’s brief look of discontent. You said that, but Itadori had a feeling Megumi wouldn’t back off just because you suddenly had a new boyfriend.

“Text me when you get on the train.” Placing his hands on your shoulders, Itadori squared your body to him.

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise!” Throwing your arms around him, you squeezed him tightly and pecked him on the lips. “I’ll even send a picture of my seat.” Kissing him one last time, you pulled apart and took a step back. “Bye!” You went to walk away but Itadori grabbed onto your hand, preventing you from going any further.

“I’m going to miss you!” He whined, letting you tug back and forth.

“You big baby!” You would miss him too and you nearly let him pull you back, but you stayed strong and eventually broke free from his hold. “Go pick out the fall crops already!”

“Fine!” Itadori made no move to leave, instead watching you walk away and into the station. He waited until you texted him that you were on the train and even then still waited until he heard the whistle blow and saw the train begin its departure.

(Y/N): miss you already

(Y/N): I’ll be back before you know it

(Itadori): I’ll be waiting

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