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artheresy · 9 months

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The legacy of a craftsman

The amount of space that Blade and Yingxing takes up in my brain is feeling increasingly concerning. I can't stop thinking about them...

Like now that it's finally not just a leak, has anyone else read Baiheng's Travelogues about the Xianzhou Zhuming? Featuring Baby Yingxing??

Literally the second one devastates me emotionally I can't even explain it. Yingxing being so discouraged by the masters on the Zhuming who are long life species degrading him to the point he, a child, talks about how he'll probably never live to see his parents be avenged after what the Borisin did???

THAT HURTS

And God I can't even,

GOD if I could properly put into words the fact that Yingxing is a craftsman being so important to his character and identity and how Hoyoverse making a point to specify the injuries that occurred to his hands in whatever gray transition period happened between Yingxing and Blade that made him unable to craft weapons again is such a tragic visual to completely severe the two identities, that is ALL you would hear from me ever.

Because see the thing about Yingxing being a craftsman is that all stems from a goal in his past. As a child his home planet was taken over and turned into a weapons nursery, his parents were slaughtered, it became his goal as a child to create technology and weapons for the Cloud Knights to fight terrifying monsters like the Borisin. And that goal ended up defining the rest of his life, going on to become the Legendary Furnace Master on the Xianzhoh Luofu. That ended up becoming part of his legacy with the HCQ. It's clear how heavily important that part of his identity is defining not just his time in the HCQ but his time on the Zhuming, and everything that occurred to him as a child to lead him to that exact goal. His whole past.

And for Hoyoverse to specify how Blade's hands have been hurt to the point of no longer being dexterous, to the point of no longer being able to forge a weapon ever again, as those injuries cannot be healed by whatever Abundance shit he has going on since they likely happened before he became immortal(?). It just... it is devastating. It's something used as a way to severely separate the two of them so people realize they are two different identities on top of Blade already making it clear he sees Yingxing as dead. The way that they went about his hands... it's not merely that he relinquished that identity, which would be him no longer making weapons out of choice. It is that he can't connect to that identity anymore, the change he went through was far too severe. Thus he cannot make weapons anymore, he has been stripped of any ability to.

I'll make like a better post explaining this later, but I believe the use of Yingxing status as a craftsman and Blade's inability after he was revived TO craft anything is fundamentally used as a tie to the separate of identity between them and it's so well used and so tragically used.

Because again, it is not that he lost Yingxing's passion for it or decided on a different path. It is a wall that separates him from being able to do what Yingxing did in the past just as he is unable to connect to the identity his body held before death.

#Yingxing #Hsr blade #Hsr #Honkai star rail #High cloud quintet #Baiheng #Hsr theory #Like guys do you hear me #DO YOH UNDERTSAND ME #Blades whole thing with identity fucking hurts #The transition between them is devastating to me #Also let's talk about the fact that Dan Feng to Dan Heng and Yingxing to Blade are identity progressions in the opposite direction #Df to Dh: Lack of individual identity to a firm sense of self #Yx to Blade: A defined personal identity to a completely loss of self as well as self dehumanization #It hurts #If truly everything with the sin relates to Dan Feng in some way having made Yingxing immortal #That means that apart of the acts that would go on to free Dan Feng and allow his next incarnation his own free identity #Includes an act that would completely strip Yingxing of his own #THATS SO FUCKING TRAGIC...#Anyways #I feel crazy right now

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sarah-cam · 2 months

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i've seen some people bringing up the parallel of how tim told lucy that they were worth the risk to how tim broke up with her... this is a great parallel don't get me wrong and it is so painful and i feel so sad for lucy

HOWEVER i've also seen people absolutely railing on tim and calling him a coward for leaving her and saying that this is unforgivable. i get being upset with him, i'm not saying that's wrong. but i just want to offer my take:

tim is absolutely broken down. this is the lowest point he's ever reached and it's been building and building since before we even met him. everything that happened in his childhood, in the army, with isabel, the trauma we've seen from the job these last 5-6 seasons. and now this, which has brought everything he's never dealt with to the surface. he truly believes in his bones that lying to lucy was what he had to do to protect her. even when lucy (rightfully) told him to stop, he said he can't because it's who he is. it's all he has right now because if he's going to lie and break the rules and compromise him morals, he is damn sure going to do whatever it takes to protect the people he loves.

he grew up with an abusive father who made him believe that he doesn't deserve to be loved, let alone unconditionally. he had no control in his childhood so he got that control by joining the military, and when he finally had that control?? he screwed up and blames himself for getting his teammates killed. he tried to gain back that control by becoming a police officer/to but never felt like he needed to move up any higher than that and now we know why. he didn't want to be a leader again because he didn't think he deserved it. he was terrified of losing lucy with the UC work and didn't even realize it, because when she's gone, he doesn't know what's going on and can't back her up. he has no control.

and now this? he compromised everything he believes in, as he said, "to save his career" but it's not that simple. if he told the truth, that angela and lucy knew about everything and still helped him, they would still lose everything he tried to protect them from. he can't even look at himself in the mirror right now.

he's not a coward for breaking up with lucy. he's not walking away because they had a fight and he doesn't want to work through it. in fact, she validated everything he did!! she showed him that she still loves him no matter what he did, that she would've done the same thing. but to him, that's even worse because he doesn't believe he deserves unconditional love, so when lucy gives it, he thinks that he's dragging her down because how could anyone love him after this. giving their relationship a shot was worth the risk because she is worth the risk. but him? he's not worth it

it's not cowardly to take yourself out of a relationship that you're not mentally okay to be in.

#chenford #the rookie #text #lucy deserves to be hurt and upset and everything in between but tim is not doing this to hurt her #he is doing it to protect her even if it's misguided #he knows he's not okay and he can't go back #that doesn't make him a coward #actually i think it's the opposite #it's brave to admit that kind of stuff ESPECIALLY for someone like tim #that doesn't make it hurt lucy any less #but it's valid to have empathy and compassion for both people in a tough situation #this just makes me think of nace #ace was ready to break the curse when he thought he might die but as soon as nancy was in danger he decided that it wasn't worth the risk b #ugh i just love tim bradford and lucy chen #and i want them both to grow and develop from this #cause she has her own issues going on too

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arcticwaters · 7 months

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something something reckless dangerous decisions something something confronting mortality

#critical role #cr spoilers #ashton greymoore #laudna #laudmoore #my art #critter role #i drew this right after ep77 but the parallels i saw between them got more confirmed for me in 78 #i spent the ep trying to figure out why laudna was so upset (betrayed was such a strong word for something that had little to do with her)#(like yeah the shard was important but like it wasn't hers it wasn't imogen's it was his journey not theirs. i get being upset but THAT?)#''why didn't they learn my lesson'' was very telling to me and all but confirmed my theory that she saw herself in him #she made a choice to kill bor'dor in a way that risked waking up dalilah but did it anyway because she needed it; a sense of control #the same day she learned that dalilah had become extremely strong and could not die without /her/ dying she watches #ashton make a choice that they knew risked everything but did it anyway for a sense of control. and he dies.#he dies right after she realizes she may have to die to protect her loved ones but it will HURT #and it does hurt; fearne gets hurt they all get hurt #''why did they break her rock?''#ANYWAY it's like i said in another post: 'they are a child' she says as she cuddles a toy and asks an older woman to hold her #also so sorry i'm shit at effects

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meganechan05 · 6 months

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She's been hurt before. They know that. But this time was different.

"Who was it? Which one of you hurt her...?!

And Rita could no longer hold back the anger they felt for Morfonia.

This is, I think, the third time I've drawn Rita like this and this is probably the scariest version (;;￣▽￣) KingOh has really helped with facial expressions this year lol

Other versions:

June and September. The difference ( ￣▽￣)

#yes this is based off that one set photo #I'm glad Morf hasn't gotten hurt since Ep5 tho #too bad for the other Retainers bc the set photos mean it's at least the 3rd time for each of them #unless Morf gets hurt between 41 and whatever that ep is #i still believe Rita would go full rage mode for her tho. just feels right after everything #tw // blood #tw // violence #tw blood #tw blo0d #tw bl0od #kingohger #king ohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #rita kaniska #rita kanisuka #kingoh doodles #art #fanart #super sentai

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beeholyshit · 7 months

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You know you can't keep keeping secrets from your mom, she will eventually find out kid

#(🍰) *⁠.⁠✧ — Maroon #(☆) ｡⁠.ﾟ— Red #📖 //⁠ Pokespe comics #OK THIS ONE TOOK WAY MORE THAN THE OTHERS SINCE I REALLY WANT TO PUT MORE DETAIL ON THESE #I know I make them for fun but still #well.. fun haha this is not funny at all but yeah #anyways 🥰#you know that one scene of Red by his own thinking why is he still fighting and everything. it break my heart everytime I read it so #this is probably their last conversation before THAT happened #or at least their last serious and full conversation #still Red is so scared to tell his mom the truth because he doesn't want her getting hurt #HE IS ALREADY ENOUGH SCARED OF DEOXYS #also. knowing that what's happening has team rocket involved and that means Giovanni's involved as well... well #at this point Red doesn't know still what happened between him and Maroon but that only adds to the mix #I don't know if I have something more to say mmmm #my head is empty. I passed at least 3 days thingking about this and doing it AAA #pokespe parents #pokespe

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ell-arts · 7 months

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Cyli: This assignment has to be done in two days and I'm losing my mind over it.

Pac: Don't be silly, you'll do great!!

Cyli: What do you mean don't be silly, that's literally my name T^T

#pmatga incorrect quotes #pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #pacster #cylindria #just some good ol' banter between frienfs :-)#I like to think it's a touchy matter for Cyli whenever people intentionally call her 'silly' in a mocking way #but she's chill about when it comes to her friends #because she knows they'll never overstep or mean it in a hurtful way #in fact its often a point of fun between them #all bets are off and they'll tease and banter away to their hearts content #Why does your name sound so silly Cyli?#Why are you named after your hair Spiral?#And why are YOU named after literally everything Pac?”

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jaevy · 1 month

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your room was square

i once noticed from there

in your bed, as you slept

and i held my breath

everything had its own place

and i wondered what space would i take

in the order you kept

#in this drawing i wanted to use the song ‘Square’ by Mitski #personally i feel like this song is about being in love and trying far too hard to be the perfect lover that you are incapable of being #to me it’s like trying to see where you fit in that person’s life and not knowing where you belong in it #but then you’re still longing for that feeling of belonging there with them #so you self-destructively go to great lengths to ‘earn’ your place with them #i feel that the self-destructive behavior of trying to be that perfect lover just to ‘earn’ their love #is exactly the ‘burning’ that Mitski describes #it hurts trying to fit in but not quite succeeding again and again and again...#this is something that i think i relate to #trying far too hard to belong with someone who is 'only sometimes madly in love with me'#and says that i 'wouldn't be their first choice'#-that person kept switching between wanting me as a friend and a lover and now i am neither #and yet therein lies the problem: if i cared less and gave less effort #perhaps we could’ve worked things out without me trying too hard to “earn” their love #but why would i ever try to care less?#the situation was doomed from the start and i lost a friend in the process #i made this illustration to reflect that the best i could. I think the square motif was particularly obvious—#the canvas itself is a square and the illustration itself has to fit in a square box #everything else i drew would have to fit within this box to maintain the “order”#the colors are all some type of blue with not too much contrast except for the text eyes and teardrop on the figure #i wanted to keep contrast low within this illustration— everything should be “fitting in" after all #for the figure itself i wanted it to be clear that the figure is being forced into that square #its body’s being forced into that half of the box and even then its head is forced downwards #it’s clearly not fitting comfortably but it’s sure trying its hardest to #also also also!!! i wanted to do more angular shapes with this drawing because square and whatever lol :P #i don’t think i was particularly obvious in communicating that in the drawing though #but anyways i just wanted to draw to help process something that happened to me a while back :0 #i still think i love that person but just like how i don’t have a place in their life #i don’t think they have a place in mine and i think i’m starting to make peace with that :D #jaevyart

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hwatermelons · 8 months

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**link click spoilers for s1!**

lu guang never telling xiaoshi about seeing emma’s death on the news, because it wouldn’t do any good for xiaoshi, only make him feel terrible about himself and his ability.

lu guang choosing to bear the knowledge of xiaoshi’s consequences himself, because he only meant the best for emma, he didn’t know any better and most importantly lu guang could never bring himself to see xiaoshi shattered by the reality of what he’s done. so he hides it from him, all so that xiaoshi can live in ignorant bliss.

lu guang helping xiaoshi through his childhood trauma, firmly pushing him to work through the hard truth that he can’t change anything about his parents’ fate, but never being so harsh about it to the point of being unkind. he could never be unkind to xiaoshi.

this one line: “cheng xiaoshi, exit the picture if it’s too hard for you.”

lu guang silently kneeling to xiaoshi’s level and offering him a hug after that job, even after being punched in the face, because what xiaoshi needs the most right now is someone solid there to let him process everything that just happened.

lu guang telling qiao ling they need a break and making sure to say that he specifically wants one too, to shift the focus away from xiaoshi and protect him from even the possibility of feeling like a burden for needing some time off

lu guang asking qiao ling to stay at home with xiaoshi instead of coming to the police station while he was panicking about shanshan, “look at the state he’s in.” “now’s not the time to let your thoughts run wild,” lu guang doing his best to prevent xiaoshi from letting his own guilt consume himself.

lu guang refusing to accept the job that involved emma’s death because of the impact it would have on xiaoshi if he realized it was his actions that doomed her. him shoving the picture back into the envelope before xiaoshi could catch a glimpse.

lu guang panicking himself when he sees xiaoshi entering the image of emma alone, with no way of contacting him, that idiot, and him running straight home in an effort to do something, anything to bring him back despite knowing there isn’t actually anything he can do but wait for him to return.

lu guang stopping xiaoshi from impulsively accepting the job to go into shanshan’s photo, “are you sure you’d be able to handle it?” making sure xiaoshi really thinks through the fact that he’s gonna have to face the consequences of his actions, and he might not be mentally prepared to accept them.

and xiaoshi listens to him, he actually takes a step back and looks at it from a distance before making a decision, because that’s how much he’s grown to trust lu guang over years of him protecting xiaoshi ever so subtly like this.

xiaoshi is a person ruled by emotions, and lu guang knows this, which is why his highest priority has always been xiaoshi’s emotional state, and why xiaoshi physically needs him to regulate himself and survive.

i just. have a lot of feelings about these two

WHICH IS WHY I NEED AN EXPLANATION FOR WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END OF S1?? i will FOREVER be grateful that i found this series after s2 was done releasing, i don’t think i would’ve survived otherwise HHHH

bonus: qiao ling not even questioning when lu guang asks for a break for both of them, and not hesitating to turn down an offer with a smile without missing a beat when a client comes in. i love her so much??

#i keep feeling like i need to clarify that i see them as platonic #and this is coming from someone who had a huge bl phase #their relationship is everything; but to me personally i don't see it as a *ship*#they're definitely best friends who'd earned each others trust and built a unique but unbreakable bond over time #(although they'd never admit to that either)#honestly it's the lack of romantic tension between any of the main 3 that's the cherry on top of this show for me #i feel like having romance between any of them would take away from the depth of the story #and it would just become a regular slice of life with a bit of fantasy and mystery elements; maybe some suspense #which are usually great; but the thought of link click being a “regular” anything hurts my soul #link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #qiao ling #shiguang

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torgawl · 13 days

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everytime i think about the new chapter the more and more i like it, it really consolidated yuuta and gojo's characters. the revelation of how the higher-ups were taken down and the set-up for the scene with gojo and yuuta's conversation about what their plan was for gojo's body, in case he lost, might just be the part i find most interesting. all in all, the chapter really highlights the underlying difference between the violence of oppression and the violence of resistence and revolution.

when it comes to yuuta and the archetype of his character he is the pure embodiment of love in the series. if yuuji is able to reach sukuna because he was one with him (love as oneness), yuuta's entire exitence has sorrounded love and, specifically, love as a curse. sukuna's surprise at yuuta's antics come from a place of not understanding love and therefore being unable to conceptualise that yuuta would go so far as betray his own humanity for it. he can't conceive how love can drive a person like yuuta, who's sweet and kind-hearted, to a place as cursed as this - emphasised by the sheer horror and heinosity that is seeing the usage of gojo's dead body with yuuta's innocent expression. but we know that yuuta's journey has always been marked by this concept of love as a curse, starting all the way back in jjk 0 where yuuta's unwillingness to let go of a deceased rika caused her to linger in the world in the form of a cursed spirit. one that yuuta learns to let go of by the end of the story. a lot of what he learns in that moment is about consent and mutuality in love (hence his domain expansion name), and although rika's soul passes and gets freed she is able to manifest her will into her vessel that continues to protect yuuta until this day. yuuta asking gojo for consent to use his body not only consolidates this mutual exchange and respect that he has for those he cares for - which are his main driving force - but is also exactly what separates him from someone like kenjaku, who body hops with total disregard for who they were originally. so there's that layer of irony behind yuuta having rika consume kenjaku to copy his technique and make use of it in a equally disturbing but more compassionate way. which in itself can serve to both question if intent plays a role in absolution and introduce, once again, the idea that humans and curses are not so different, as explored between mahito and yuuji in shibuya with them mirroring each other.

in regards to gojo i think his aknowledgement of his own inertia when it came to the revolution that he was leading was the cherry on top to consolidate who gojo really was as a person. gojo's greatest character flaw was arguably that he simply wasn't radical enough, allowing his students to be targets under the influence of the higher-ups. he had reasons not to kill them, as he explained before in the series, but he still failed to weight the consequences of his own actions and how no one is rewarded by working under a broken system. and i feel like having the youth he guided watching as he killed them is also quite significant as they're followers of this new revolutionary ideology.

i think the shock or impact these violent or twisted acts by the hands of those forced to survive within the status quo (like maki slaughtering her clan, gojo killing the higher-ups, yuuta taking over gojo's body) as a reaction to the violence they're subjeted to by this same system serves some purpose. and i think this is the reason the higher-ups are these anonymous faceless figures, barely-there personalities who have such a big influence in the lives of so many people. even in the real world, and we can think of systems like capitalism and how it exploits people in such a casual way and it relies on that exploration to survive, we sort of take for granted that violence coming from those institutions, having our attention driven away from the minority that's upholding these systems to other things instead. that violence is more "acceptable" because we've been conditioned to it whereas the violence in response to those acts is always met with more scrutiny. and that kind of contextualises why shoko and nanami, for example, much like gojo, aren't really revolutionary with their ideals either - or rather, do not get that priviledge. the difference being gojo was someone these higher-ups were actively afraid of, because if he wanted to, he could have done more. and that's exactly why the instant he was sealed it was the perfect opportunity for them to do whatever they could to prevent him from coming back and place new-drawn targets on the backs of the people gojo was protecting. the gruesome nature of maki slaughtering her clan or the off-putting way people react to yuuta discarding his own humanity and going against what he believes is right to make sure gojo's legacy continues is almost forcing this question of what are people willing to stomach in the name of survival and change.

gojo remembering geto in that crucial moment ("i was falling behind" or "i have to catch up") and just having in mind how they were both so young and naive is so incredibly bittersweet. geto had radical ideals, no matter how misguided. he looked at the world and he had this unshakeable conviction that things couldn't continue to be the way they were. he reached incredibly misplaced conclusions, yes, which came from a place of great pain and alienation, but gojo finally stepping forward to follow that same path, to be more radical, also sort of confirms that things could have been so different if only gojo had the same level of consciousness back then; that they could have found a way better solution together instead of the tragedy that ensued. the parallels between them add an extra layer of wistfulness to their bond, too. their fates have and always will be so intertwined, in such a beautiful and tragic way. and i think geto's unwillingness to force gojo to take a certain path will always be one of the biggest proofs of his love towards him. at the end of the day, even knowing gojo was who he was, geto always seemed to want to protect gojo's path from being stained like his.

at the core, jjk really is a story about revolution and humanity; a story about love and curses and how love is the most twisted curse of all (which has been reinforced over and over again). the fact some are rewarded and some are punished for taking certain paths under the same system is there to convey a very specific message. i really love the incorporation of eastern philosophies within the story and the role horror plays, too. the usage of the genre to deepen the impact of these themes and the way things are introduced with the intention to provoke almost visceral reactions in the readers (much like yuuta's own reaction) also makes the message much more impactful. i think this chapter was great!!!

#idk random rant because i really like 261 and my stsg heart is in shambles i adore them so much and they make me hurt so bad :')#btw people cancelling shoko and hating megumi is so silly #like idk characters aren't one dimensional and shoko much like gojo didn't seem to believe he would lose either #she can care about him and still place him in a pedestal one thing doesn't invalidate the other ashgdaj #she looked so freaking good in the chapter and people started hating her?! give her a break!!! she deals with death everyday since her #adolescence. it was also clearly not that serious?! i thought gojo's comment was lighthearted shdash #that hot woman is commiting medical malpractice and literally doing the impossible. that's so cool!!! feminism :3 let's focus on that #oky but seriously. people do care about gojo!!!#gojo himself doesn't really allow to think of himself as human not even posing the slight possibility of not getting out of it alive...#the power imbalance between him and everyone else except geto is the point #and it's why sukuna was able to have the most balanced fight with him in the first place because of the alienation power brings #can we talk about how yuuji casually asks gojo to put limitless down so he can touch him and yuuta loves gojo so much he is willing to let #go of everything to make sure he didn't die for nothing? he was not unloved. did you see everyone's proud faces cheering him on??#he's their pookie. a very annoying one but still a pookie #gojo satoru #okkotsu yuuta #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 💭

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laniemae · 3 days

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I’m seriously considering that I might have BPD. I really don’t want it to be true but it explains so much and all of the behaviours I have that I’ve never been able to wrap my head around. I guess it’s something I only really started thinking about after what happened recently but everything makes so much sense in that context. Even so, I don’t want to have BPD. I don’t want to deal with another mental illness and all the stress that comes with having to deal with it properly and dealing with other people l like that. It’s just so hard thinking about it and I hope it’s not true, even though I’ve considered the possibility for a while. But it’s scary not being able to control my emotions and views on other people and especially if I try to reach out for help irl for this.

#Bpd #actually bpd #im not diagnosed and I almost wish I shouldn’t but I essentially fit all 9 criteria and the other stuff mentioned #And just it’s really hard to deal with trying to figure out something like this as I don’t want to put more pressure on myself and others #Even though it may be better in the long run #I just don’t want to constantly switch between hating people and feeling joy in wanting to hurt them #To the next hour I want to forgive them and be friends with them and hurt myself over everything that I’ve done/said #There’s no stability in my life and it’s completely tearing me apart

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artheresy · 5 months

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My dynamic for Dan Feng & Yingxing

Hi hello, I said I would finally post this after long debating over if I show it here first or in my fic first, but fuck it. That’s a long ways away and I need to rant about them because they take up too much space in my brain.

So this post, isn’t me claiming that this is the canon dynamic between Dan Feng and Yingxing or that this is the only right one or whatever. This is purely my own view of what I think their dynamic would be based upon how I see their individual characters with the little bits and crumbs we’ve been given so far in HSR. I can’t go over every single aspect of them here because I just purely can’t think of every single thing so this is primarily going to be talking about the fundamental key parts of my interpretation of their dynamic! If that makes sense, I’ll hop right in

Be warned, this is pretty fucking long, I think so much about them it actually hurts me physically, like it’s painful. This is me just letting my autism run while talking about two of my favorites, so be cautious… sorry in advance if some areas turn into tangents, again I think about them so much its actually too much I think about them too much

AGAIN, THIS IS MY VIEW OF THEM!! Based on the characterization we have so far which isn’t a whole bunch, this is my interpretation of their relationship based on how I view the bits of characterization we have and what we know about them

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Okay so one of the biggest and most fundamental parts that influences how I view their dynamic and the course of their relationship is looking at how exactly and why exactly I think they became close. Jingliu in her companion quest says:

I think this statement she makes “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud” is actually the foundation of why they get close and their dynamic works rather than an obstacle that they somehow overcome. Specifically, I think that it was Yingxing’s arrogance (partially genuine and partially a habit born for the sake of his own survival) that allowed the two of them to get close. When we see lines from Yingxing via Dan Heng’s memories or via the Mirage Echo, though he uses Dan Feng’s proper title, he seems to talk rather casually to him. Even in a tense situation as secretly being in Scalegorge Waterscape for research would seem, Yingxing still is very lighthearted and in some languages, even laughs a little as he banters with Dan Feng. I have my own headcanons for why he has this casualness to him, but either way it’s a genuine part of him and a part of his canon characterization. I think that casualness, a product of his confidence/arrogance and maybe a little of his obliviousness as well, allows for them to get close. It evens the playing field, Yingxing sees Dan Feng as his equal, as a person, as Dan Feng rather than as his position of Imbibitor Lunae High Elder of the Vidyadhara. I could speculate all day whether or not other people had treated him similarly before and he shot it down (there’s a lot of the actual evolution of the dynamic that I will write I swear), but I think there was something very unique in that casualness that Dan Feng might not have experienced before, not from anyone else, not from the other members of the HCQ he had met before. Perhaps even Yingxing’s background would play a part in how shocked by his behavior DF is. Either way, it is that casualness, that equalness unlike he had ever experienced before, mixed with all of Yingxing’s other characteristics such as his cheeky nature that manages to quickly break down Dan Feng’s walls and make him feel compelled to grow closer to YX. Whether their first meeting was via Baiheng and Jingliu or a chance encounter before they eventually join the HCQ, Dan Feng is coming away from that shell shocked by the sheer audacity of this short life species, feelings he first interprets as offense before he realizes he’s actually amused/interest in him, and Yingxing walking away like “Huh? That was the High Elder I guess. Seems nice, a bit stiff tho!” There is no worship of Dan Feng from his side for any reason, not for his skills, not for his position, not even as an unattainable ethereal beauty situation. He views him as just another person, an equal, and no part of him views DF in this cocky “he’s not unattainable bc I already have him” kind of way because…

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Another fundamental in my personal interpretation of their relationship is that Yingxing doesn’t truly seek anything from Dan Feng nor does he ever necessarily try to pursue him. And all of this isn’t in an insecure “We’d never work” kind of product of overthinking way of choosing not to pursue him. Rather, it’s primarily because Yingxing doesn’t feel the need to. He doesn’t need his romantic feelinhs to be satisfied or fulfilled especially with the difference in their lifespans. As long as he can be by his side and stay close with him until his time comes to an end, Yingxing is truly perfectly content with that. A lot of this additionally stems from a certain place. That being that after he gets to know Dan Feng better and learns of the sheer pressure he endures due to his position, the choices he feels he’s forced into, the level of restriction, even with all of the influence Dan Feng still has, he doesn’t want to be an added source of pressuring or discomfort. To sum it up, Yingxing leaves the ball in Dan Feng’s court so he can act as he sees fit when he feels like it. There’s an added layer to this also of Yingxing not wanting to ruin the current state of their dynamic (a topic I’ll get into more). In the end, this is just yet another part of Yingxing that utterly pulls Dan Feng in. He is very used to being distrusting of others and refusing to get close to many people, primarily out of wariness of the potential ulterior motives people may have when befriending him. Contrastly, Yingxing doesn’t expect or even want anything from Dan Feng even the closer they get. Dan Feng can see that, and it makes him trust in Yingxing. Makes him trust to the point that he feels comfortable enough to make attempts pursuing Yingxing himself rather than meeting at a stalemate, refusing to go after a man Dan Feng knows won’t chase him as to not risk pressuring him and bc he’s fine with how things are. That isn’t to say though that Yingxing won’t respond to any attempts Dan Feng makes first though, because he absolutely will. Well… that is if he can recognize any attempts from Dan Feng at all because he can be rather oblivious in the face of people making advances at him-

An added part to all of this is that Yingxing with the way he acts, both in general and in this specific regard, ends up being part of what helps influence and encourage Dan Feng to do more to take what he wants, actually follow his desires in certain aspects rather than keeping up his stiff outer image and denying himself of everything for that sake of his position. The HCQ in general all have influence helping Dan Feng open up more like this, seizing things instead of either waiting for things on a platter or never having them. However, Yingxing's bold nature is definitely the strongest factor as he ends up helping Dan Feng learn to identify what he wants for himself. Whether that want is something as complex as moving forward in a relationship when not only has Dan Feng had very little experience with close connections to others, but also is so accustomed to the stillness of long life, or something as simple as taking breaks and time to himself to live and breathe and experience life moving around him. It's through Yingxing (and the rest of the HCQ) that Dan Feng learns to be more selfish. It's through all of their care and kindness and love that Dan Feng learns that he too is not merely a pillar to stand tall for his people. That he is a person with needs and wants, and it is perfectly fine to be selfish and prioritize yourself at times.

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So that previous section got into a little bit of Dan Feng’s trust in Yingxing, but what about Yingxing’s side of things? What about his trust in Dan Feng? I dunno what it is about him, but I feel like Dan Feng is the kind of person who can hear some of the deepest confessions and see the barest parts of the heart of someone he cares about and not treat them any differently like as if they are fragile y’know. Like Dan Feng is the person who Yingxing, out of all the HCQ, can truly confide in because he knows he won’t be seen different or treated in a drastically different way. Ultimately, Jingliu isn’t someone he feels he can go to for super emotional things which she likely herself knows she wouldn’t be able to help much with, Jing Yuan and him have a very light hearted joking dynamic that makes changing the tone and breaking the mood for a deep heart to heart much harder so he doesn’t often do it, and Baiheng… well, deep down Baiheng still sees Yingxing as that disheartened little boy, who had lost everything and was being told that there’s nothing he could do about it given his lifespan, that he couldn’t avenge what he had lost. If Yingxing were to tell her how he honestly truly feels about everything in his life, the traumas he still hadn’t overcome or the thoughts that plague him every day, he knows she would end up fretting over him, mother hen style. Being overly cautious as if his mind is made of glass, and as much as he loves her, he hates the idea of her changing how she treats him because of just how much she cares for him in turn.

(It’s a trait I see Baiheng having as to it being an obstacle in her other relationships like with Yingxing but works well in her relationship with Jingliu, caring for her and treating her softly, not underestimating her, in a way that others are too afraid to treat the unwavering, ice cold Sword champion! Matching DF and YX’s whole situation with his arrogance and casualness)

In the end, Yingxing feels like Dan Feng is the only one he can truly trust with the deepest corners of his heart and mind without worrying of Dan Feng either judging him or suddenly treating him like a fragile piece of porcelain. Even if he were to take note of something Yingxing told him and do something in response perhaps to ease his worries or heart ache, it would never be something out of pity or thinking Yingxing to be unable to take care of himself. Because ultimately, that’s where this all stems for Yingxing. He has lived so much of his life underestimated, whether having his skills and abilities questioned for being a short life species or sometimes intentionally sometimes unintentionally having his ability to take care of himself questioned like he needs a caretaker. Something that again is partially due to again to being a short life species. What Yingxing likes about Dan Feng is from the moment he met him, he doesn’t feel as if he is being questioned or underestimated. Dan Feng makes him feel as if he is truly seen as an equal, even with their distinct difference in power. It’s a treatment from Dan Feng that serves as a response to Yingxing’s own treatment of Dan Feng, his casualness to the other man making it clear he sees him as an equal as well.

And that? Well that is perhaps the most important part of the dynamic. In canon, they both have struggles with how they are seen and treated by others based on preconceived notions about their status. Dan Feng being in a way dehumanized as he is put up on a pedestal for being an incarnation of Imbibitor Lunae, for being the High Elder of the Vidyadhara, a position that he wants to escape because of the sheer loss of identity just a role brings. Yingxing being underestimated from the moment he stepped onto the Xianzhou because he wasn’t a long life species to the point that the other celestial masters on the Zhuming borderline bullied him into doubting himself, thinking a lot about his own death, and as a young boy (not even a teen yet), literally saying “Maybe I’ll never live to see the day my parents are avenged.” In my view of them, for them to truly be as close as they are established in canon, I think that from the start of their dynamic they make it very clear they see the other as a genuine and true equal in a way that other people haven’t or perhaps, can’t fully.

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I said this before my in Aurizzm Yingxing post, but yeah, I don’t think Dan Feng or Yingxing would have come into a romantic relationship with each other with any experience at all. I know Dan Feng with no experience is a very accepted idea, and I agree with it very much given his isolated position and his proud attitude and that 100% plays into my view of their dynamic. I also however, firmly believe Yingxing came in without any romantic relationship experience too. The difference here ends up being in how inexperienced each of them are. Yingxing has had a lot more friendship experience, and he’s experienced crushes before which is how he can identify his own romantic feelings better than Dan Feng. But he’s never actually been in any relationship. He’s never had the time, he’s got his own goals in mind while being painfully aware he’s on a time limit, and let’s be real like I said before, This Man is married to his Forge. Meanwhile, Dan Feng truly hasn’t had any friendships prior to the HCQ. Knowing him and her too, I firmly believe Dan Feng and Jingliu’s relationship for example, was for maybe a few decades, maybe a literal century, just them sparring without words from time to time. So Dan Feng not only going in with no friendship experience, but I think that man also is having to recognize some new emotions and feelings he’s never experienced nor can put words to. So Dan Feng’s disaster comes in being painful aware of the presence and intensity of his own feelings… he just doesn’t have the words nor experience to recognize exactly what those feelings are. It’s an absolute disaster on all fronts, somebody pray for the HCQ who unfortunately have to experience all of this.

There’s an added layer I want to go more into looking back at the first part of why their relationship works and the thing I said about the Baiheng trait. As we saw with Jingliu admitting to her feelings towards his attitude as a child, she wasn’t… she wasn’t really a fan so to say of his arrogance. And given y’know, what we see of the people of the Luofu, I don’t doubt many people have similar reactions. Part of Yingxing’s limited experience comes not only from his own decision to not pursue anything, I think part of it comes from being for whatever reason feeling distaste for him. Whether it’s their own prejudices against Outworlders, or his bold attitude and lack of formality that makes any interest they had in him end up flying away. Which ugh, makes it even more special that this attitude of his, born out of necessity for his own survival on the Xianzhou and for his ability to move forward in his craftsmanship after all he went through, which has pushed so many people away, ends up being the exact thing that allows him to get close to Dan Feng. IT’s UGGGHHH Sorry, but I just need to scream. I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THEM OKAY?? THEY TAKE UP TOO MUCH SPACE IN MY BRAIN, I CAN’T HAVE A SINGLE MOMENT OF REST BECAUSE OF THEM

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Again, this is my view of them and their dynamic based upon what we have been given in game so far, the crumbs of characterization we have. God I hope we get more. This isn’t me saying this view of them is canon or anything, this is just how I view them. This is the dynamic and thoughts that have grown like mold in my head from thinking about them WAY too much.

I have so much more I could talk about, certain specific things or things that don’t even immediately come to mind right now. If you want to ask more about how I view them or have some topic or aspect of them in mind, please hit me up. Either send something to my inbox or bust your way into my dms to talk about them. I love them so much. They mean the world to me.

And honestly? I could just make two whole separate posts also just about how I specifically characterize each of them, but I think I need to let my brain rest a bit.

And don’t think about this dynamic specifically in reference to how it could reflect on their current selves because you might just end up hurting yourself like I have. GOD I HATE THEM

#okay so I have so much more to say about df/yx but i wanted to take the tags to talk about rh #i want to make a separate post about them as well mostly bc of smth ill rant about here #the arguing between rh antis vs rh shippers has devolved into such a lack of nuance from both sides that its HURTING MY BRAIN #rh anti: ‘Blade HATES Dan Heng’#yeah he does #but also its not a shallow kind of hatred #it’s a multilayer complicated hatred built on past feelings of regret betrayal and fundamentally a past love from yingxing #that is what the hatred we see (mostly amplified outwardly by the mara) is all built upon that is PART of the appeal its tragedy its doomed #it’s a loss of what was and how that influences its own unique dynamic different from df & yx #rh anti: ‘DH hates Blade’ also true but again #its become a complicated kind of dislike mixed with the shock and realization of who Blade USED to be and past memories coming back #additionally there’s a little something called character and relationship development where dynamics and characters change over the story…#rh shipper: ‘You’re saying Blade hates DH lol are we reading the same game’ YES WE ARE #YES HE DOES #He does hate him yes its a complicated kind of hatred as I already said but that doesnt erase that he does hold resentment towards Dan Heng #did none of you?? read the relic lore??#if you believe that dan heng is destined to die with blade then you believe hes apart of that ‘final funeral to the unnamed’s life and #to everything he ever hated.’ …like guys why are we saying he doesnt hate him at all #it outright flies in the face of blade’s character to say he doesn’t hate him like HELLO? it’s just a complicated hatred #not nonexistent and like seriously the hatred again adds to the appeal of their dynamic #their tragedy lies in how their past forms were once close and through a shared sin plus some stuff to inspire Blade’s vengeance that #that relationship has been completely destroyed beyond repair under the weight of their sin #love replaced with an eternal hatred and remorse a betrayal grave enough to spark such violent revenge #is what makes rh appealing! makes their dynamic interesting and that dynamic developing further as threads of their past still linger but #alas arent the same as before fundamentally changed and unique to them again MAKES IT INTERESTING AND TRAGIC!! esp knowing blade will die #yingxing #dan feng #xingyue #renheng #honkai star rail

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