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why5x5 · 5 months

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So, in my (orthodox) shul's wekly newsletter, they had a list of Chanukah highlights I thought I'd share (no. 8 is great):

Chanuka Highlights: Eight Points for Eight Days

1) The basic requirement of Chanuka lights is “ner ish u-beto”, one light per night per household. Thus a family of four would have only one light per night, whether on the first or eighth night. Nonetheless, the Talmud outlines more optimal observances, respectively called “Mehadrin” and “Mehadrin Min Hamehadrin”, whereby the number of lights corresponds to the night of Chanuka, the number of people in the household, or both. According to the hybrid option, that hypothetical household of four would then collectively kindle four lights on the first night and thirty-two on the eighth night.

2) Many use a “Shamash” – helper candle – in addition to the aforementioned mandatory lights. This Shamash serves two purposes, both related to the prohibition to derive benefit from the Chanuka lights proper. During the lighting itself, it avoids the issue of kindling one mandatory light from another. After the lighting, if anyone does get benefit from the Chanuka lights, it can be attributed to the Shamash rather than to the mandatory lights. Given the latter function, one should take care that the Shamash burns at least as long as the other lights.

3} Women, as well as men, are obligated in Chanuka lights because they were beneficiaries (and perhaps also benefactors) of the Chanuka miracles. Some women opt to discharge their obligation via their husband, based on the principle “ishto ke- gufo”. Children old enough to appreciate the ideas of Chanuka are also required to light for educational (“chinukh”) purposes, obviously with proper adult supervision and guidance.

4} Many choose olive-oil as the fuel for the Chanuka lights, to commemorate the substance used for the Menora in the Beit Hamikdash. Others prefer candles because of the quality of their flame. It is generally assumed that electric menorahs do not technically qualify for this mitzva, though they may still serve some function by bringing awareness of the holiday to others.

5} The ideal placement of the Menora is near the street entrance to the house, on the side opposite the Mezuza. When that is not feasible (such as one who lives on an elevated floor), he should place the Menora near the window. In times of religious persecution and other extenuating circumstances, the Menora may simply be placed on a table in one’s room. In any case, the lights should be attended while burning, both for safety reasons as well as because the function of the lights is to be seen, thereby publicizing the miracle.

6} Throughout Chanuka, Al Hanisim (a prayer expressing gratitude to G-d for the miracles) is inserted during both Shemona Esreh (the silent standing prayer) in the blessing of Modim, and Birkat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) in the blessing of Nodeh Lekha. If forgotten in its native blessing, it can still be recited during the concluding paragraph of Shemona Esreh or in the Harachaman section of Birkat Hamazon. If one also missed those compensatory opportunities, Shemona Esreh and Birkat Hamazon are not repeated.

7) Full Hallel is recited on all eight days of Chanuka (despite the fact that Chanuka lacks both requirements for Hallel – a festival status and prohibition on work) because these are “days of praise and thanksgiving”. Appropriately, Maimonides opts to discuss the laws of Hallel among those of Chanuka, rather than in the more intuitive contexts such as the laws of the festivals.

8) While normative practice is not to require mandatory Seudot (meals) on Chanuka in the way we are obligated on Shabbat and festivals, nonetheless such meals have significance both to commemorate the rededication of the Mizbeach (Altar) and as an opportunity to offer praise to G-d. Many have the custom to eat oily foods such as Latkes (potato pancakes) and Sufganiyot (fried doughnuts) to reflect that the miracle involved oil. Others eat dairy foods since it is said that Judith fed cheese to an enemy officer, causing him to get sleepy, at which point she “neutralized” him. It has been suggested that eating pizza simultaneously fulfills both customs – i.e. eating oil and dairy.

#chanukah #hanukah #jumblr

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jewish-culture-is · 5 months

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Jewish Culture is singing Birkat Hamazon and adding in funny lyrics like “sour cream” and “I swear I saw her bra” instead of Asher Bara

#jewish culture is #judaism #jewish #jumblr

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of-the-book · 8 months

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*recites the Birkat Hamazon before eating pussy*

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sassymoon · 6 months

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is there a blessing to say before eating my gf out for the first time?

Either the birkat hamazon bc it’s food or birkat hagomel bc you wanna thank god for giving you this blessing

Well hagomel is mostly for danger but the danger was not having a gf

Or you can do sh’hehiyano. Here’s a lovely recording of it

https://youtu.be/Ucw9pLu2nvA?si=mHuugKJBcgunBlSO

#ask

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magnetothemagnificent · 2 years

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The Jewish day school/ Hebrew School/ Jewish day camp urge to bang your hands on the table at various intervals during Birkat HaMazon

#judaism #jewish humor

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theiloveyousong · 1 year

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blasting birkat hamazon like its the newest hit pop single

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ofpd · 1 year

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one time i was looking through birkat hamazon and was like huh why aren't there any additions for yom kippur? oh right

#txt

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sopranoentravesti · 2 years

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I had a dream last night that I was Bajoran and running with a group through a hillier version of the woods I grew up in. At one point we stopped and were chanting a prayer— upon waking I realized was actually a mix of the barchu, the call to prayer and Karev Yom, which I like to sing during Passover, and Birkat HaMazon (Grace after meals).

And then we kept going, and I wasn’t able to keep up, though I was much quieter than most (toe walking FTW). I have a limp IRL when not using my cane, and I think I was younger and sicker. And someone wanted to leave me behind. I was slowing down the group, and the Cardassians were after us— at one point breathing down our necks. I remember a bit of duck and cover.

Any how, Kira Nerys, resistance warrior, yelled at them, and kept me by her side. And while this dream was a cluster fuck of IG Trauma Etc, I will keep that close to me.

#dreams #kira nerys #bajor #Star Trek #me

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unbidden-yidden · 1 year

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Did you convert Conservative? If you did, what was that experience like for you? I'm in the process of converting Reform, and I really enjoy Reform theology - but the openness in both practice and in the conversion path leave me feeling a little unmoored. I'm starting to wonder if more concrete guidelines might work better for me. I'm happy to hear any thoughts you have to share, either privately or publically (or not at all, if that's where you're at)

Hi there,

Yes, I did convert Conservative! I'm happy to talk about my experiences if you have specific questions for me. :)

Personally, while I find the idea of choosing what is meaningful out of the whole buffet of Jewish observance to be a compelling approach, I found that one of the major issues I had with it is that I wasn't taught enough of the details of traditional observance to know what I was (or wasn't) choosing. (The other major issue is that it didn't satisfactorily address the point of commandedness under this rubric, but that's less relevant to what you raised here.) I honestly felt like I would need to become a full-fledged Torah scholar, learned in Talmud and practical halacha in order to feel like I understood what I was choosing and why, and to make meaningful choices.

A good example of this is: assuming you keep kosher, how long do you wait between eating meat then dairy, or dairy then meat? Some say six hours for dairy after meat, some say one hour, some say three hours, and some say there's not really a need to wait, as long as you clearly differentiate: clear the table, clean your mouth out, say birkat hamazon, and perhaps even shift to a new space. And then for meat after dairy, most say an hour, and some say the differentiation method. But some say six hours for "hard" cheeses! There's a lot to consider. Personally, I hold by six hours for dairy after meat, and even frequently will only eat meat for dinner and then wait until morning to have dairy again. I genuinely prefer sleeping in between. Why? Partially practical reasons: I have a dairy kitchen only and will only eat vegetarian/pescaterian out, so eating meat is a Big Deal for me and doesn't come up much. But it's also at least as much because I think it helps me to take very seriously the idea that the meal I just ate involved taking a life. This is a nonstandard (although not totally unprecedented) stringency that is meaningful to me, but I was only able to ground that practice in halacha by learning the details of why we wait. [Here is an excellent breakdown of this question for the curious. This is aimed at kids, but it's an excellent breakdown for anyone of any age.]

I think ultimately, there could be a strong and extremely learned frum Reform contingent, if the meaningfulness barometer was taken seriously and backed up by significant learning. I've met a few folks like this, actually! But it is far from the norm and is countercultural in most Reform spaces (for a number of reasons.) There's nothing wrong with choosing nonstandard and liberal practices as being the most meaningful for you as an individual, but for that to be a real choice, you need to understand what you're deviating from or discarding, and why.

That was probably one of the biggest reasons that particular theological construct didn't work for me personally.

All that said, I think the Conservative movement suffers from a similar problem: most of the Conservative Jews I know also pick and choose observance (yes, including me) but it's framed differently (to the extent it's framed at all.) Namely, it seems to be coming from a place of either: (a) you are slowly picking up mitzvot over time and haven't gotten to [x] thing yet, (b) you know what you're doing is against halacha and you've decided you don't care right now, or (c) you don't find that particular mitzvah meaningful, so you kinda just table it in favor of other mitzvot. The learning might be there for the practical halacha, but there is a notable lack of clarity around the underpinning theology (in other words, the "why") of people's natural continuums of observance.

My admittedly limited experiences of Orthodoxy assumes you will want to fulfill a mitzvah if you have appropriately learned and internalized that piece of Torah; but even if you don't, well, do it anyway. Or, at least, understand that you have an obligation to do it even if you choose not to. There's definitely a little bit of this within the more traditional parts of the Conservative movement as well.

Each of these movements has their strengths and weaknesses, so I encourage everyone to learn the viewpoints and practices of each branch if possible, and then make your own choices in the fullness of time.

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transition-with-the-torah · 2 months

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Book: Living A Jewish Life by Anita Diamant with Howard Cooper.

First, I do appreciate that I was able to get a hold of a revised edition on Libby. (Noticeable due to a 2023 update with some language changes such as b-mitzvah, using 'they', and not exclusively using heteronormative relationship language.) I have nothing against reading conversion 'classics', but sometimes it has been noticeable that I'm reading books older than I am.

The introduction gives a brief summary of how different movements came to be while explaining Liberal Judaism, touches on Hebrew (and a few learning tips if desired), explains mitzvah/mitzvot, and has some encouragement on getting started with "making Jewish choices" as an adult. There are four sections: Home, Life Cycle of the Year, Life Cycle, and Community.

Overall, I would say that this isn't half bad as a basic introduction that notes its American and Ashkenazi focused perspective. I do feel like looking into other introductory resources made some sections feel not as helpful as is probably intended for an absolute beginner, but I can't fault the book for that. Quite frankly, someone could write separate books on the history, movement differences, and different customs of some topics, so this is only aiming for a basic introduction. I did get the impression that lumping Reform, Reconstructionist, and Conservative together into 'Liberal' Judaism was causing some details to be noted with an air of 'oh, yeah, and XYZ too' (not outright dismissive, but with a less 'traditionally' observant lean).

(This has been tagged #reviews for tagging purposes on my personal blog and may not be a satisfying review for others. I have some notes from the first two parts below the read-more.)

Home subsections: Your Little Sanctuary, Shabbat, Good Deeds, What Jews Eat, and Jewish Parenting.

Your Little Sanctuary

Mezuzah - What they are, blessings, and a hanukat habayit [home dedication] that could be done with friends/family.

Books - Brief explanations of Torah, Talmud, Codes [practical guides to halachah], Midrash, Kabbalah [several texts associated with it], and Siddur.

Shabbat

Some history and explanations of differences over time and between different communities.

Creating Shabbat - Even if it feels like there's a lot of "don't do XYZ" around Shabbat, it's more about creating a particular experience. You get a weekly chance to create familial connection and peace in the household.

Getting Ready - Some practical advice. (The process of 'making this Jewish choice' offers starting with a Friday night dinner.)

Friday Night - An overview of blessings and common activities (giving tzedakah, singing, candle lighting, blessing for spouses, blessing for children, blessing for wine/kiddush, hand washing, challah, meal, blessing for after the meal/birkat hamazon, and sex is allowed on Shabbat). Of note that challah has to do with a step and blessing during making the bread, and it isn't exclusively the braided loaf associated with American Ashkenazi depictions. Attending Friday night service, Kabbalat Shabbat, can be optional, and depending on the time of year [sunset time] and the synagogue, there can be a difference in dinner happening before service or after (sometimes kiddush and a Shabbat meal will happen at the synagogue).

Shabbat Morning - An overview of the order of prayers and actions that are likely across Liberal Judaism, and a general note on children. (I would say this is an area where having a specific synagogue in mind can be more helpful than a generalization, but it probably goes without saying to check about children programs before going.)

Shabbat Afternoon - Lunch, kiddush rabbah, and some tips on what to do if 'rest all afternoon' isn't helpful.

Shabbat Ends - The steps involved in havdalah - light candle, kiddush, blessing over aromatic spices (flowers, fresh herbs, or freshly cut fruit can substitute), blessing over candle flame. Details may vary between communities, but usually some wine is poured into a plate and the candle dipped into it to extinguish it (while singing).

Shabbat Is Fail-Safe - This is definitely advice aimed at people worried about perfection and weekly inconsistency. Shabbat is a practice, and "perfection is not the goal of any practice". Remembering the Sabbath day is half of the goal, even if you're late to candle lighting, are blessing takeout, or have errands on Saturday. "If last week you forgot to make Shabbat, there will be another and another, each one a clean slate and a new beginning."

Good Deeds

"Because the human impulse to do good is not dependable, Jews are commanded to feed, clothe, and provide shelter to those who lack them - and to do the work of justice - by performing mitzvot." [Contrasted to charity from caritas "Xtian love".]

Tzedakah - Righteous giving. [Often monetarily in usage.] "Jewish law requires that even the poorest give to less fortunate than themselves, even if their gift comes directly from someone else's tzedakah." There isn't a specific number to aim for as a minimum or maximum in personal giving, but there typically are communal reminders and communal aspects (like food drives before a holiday) throughout the year.

Acts of Loving-Kindness - Presented as the definition of gemilut hasadim, which are face-to-face encounters. Traditionally "providing clothes for the naked, visiting the sick, comforting mourners, accompanying the dead to the grave, providing for brides, and hospitality to strangers" (but can also extend to in-person volunteering outside of this areas).

Tikkun Olam - Repairing the world. Current manifestations can look like social justice efforts, environmental advocacy, supporting LGBTQ+ rights, and other 'civil' areas of life.

What Jews Eat

"Kashrut, the laws and customs that regulate what Jews eat, can be understood as a way of hallowing the mundane act of eating and making it a way of 'opening out' to God."

Covers: Kosher/Not Kosher, brief explanations for pareve/kosher meat/kosher wine, hechshers, wide range of American relaxed-to-strictly kosher approaches, and a broad overview of historical differences in access to ingredients that have influenced Ashkenazi/Sephardi/Mizrahi cuisine. Overall, there's advice on not being afraid to look for kosher cookbooks/recipes, since many cuisines can still be eaten in a way that follows kashrut.

Jewish Parenting

I will admit that I skimmed this section moreso than hung onto every detail because I'm not terribly interested in the topic of parenting right now. Covers the importance of education, some differences in offering Jewish education to children, sleep-away camps and youth groups for teens, and a little blurb on how the ADA galvanized the families of disabled children to get more accessible Jewish education.

Life Cycle of the Year subsections: Jewish Time, Making Yontif, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, Hanukkah, Tu B'Shvat, Purim, Passover, Lag B'Omer, Yom HaShoah and Yom Ha'atzmaut, Shavuot, Tisha B'Av.

Jewish Time

The basics of the Jewish calendar being lunar based, adding in a leap month [instead of a leap day], and the day starts at sunset.

Making Yontif

'Making a holiday' instead of just 'observing/celebrating'. There's an element of active preparation (hachanah) which can provide routes for more personal significance towards each holiday. Also: setting the stage, food, family time, and community. The Yontif Seder or 'Holiday Order' can include a blessing for candles, wine/kiddush, and bread.

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur

A brief description of Yamim Noraim, the Days of Awe. Making yontif for the Days of Awe is primarily an introduction to the liturgy of the services (like Kol Nidre for Yom Kippur) and new words, such as machzor (special prayer book) and tashlich (symoblic casting of sin into a body of water).

Sukkot

There's some advice on building a sukkah, but there aren't a ton of details since many Liberal synagogues will have a communal sukkah to fulfill the mitzvah of dwelling inside one. There is a note that American Jews have included land acknowledgements at the end of the traditional blessings/prayers.

Simchat Torah

A basic description of Simchat Torah, but since it's very much at thing that happens inside the synagogue during service, there's not a lot. [There isn't a separate note about Shemini Atzeret, though this doesn't mean 'Liberal' Judaism ignores it entirely. As the end of Sukkot, it's just not often singled out as a separate holiday in some Liberal resources.]

Hanukkah

An explanation of what Hanukkah celebrates, how to light the hanukkiah, how to play dreidel, and an acknowledgement of complicated feelings about Xmas from one Jew to another. (As some readers may be converts with Xtian families or in interfaith families with a Xtian parent, some Jewish children may observe Xmas in other homes or have a blended Hanukkah/Xmas celebration in their home.)

Tu B'Shvat

An explanation of Tu B'Shvat, including how some came to use an adapted seder inspired by Pesach. (Most of the details are on how to start planning out one of your own.)

Purim

Most of Purim doesn't happen in the home whether that's the service in the synagogue or community set Purimshpiels, a costume party, or carnival (with comparisons to Mardi Gras and a mention of a parade in Israel). A seudah or feast is the only home activity, which is why hamentaschen, Purim ravioli, and other food customs are associated with this day.

Passover

Passover is very much a home based holiday, though there's a relaxed-to-strict spectrum of preparation (especially for "getting rid of hametz"). Kosher for Passover can vary a bit among communities [reference to kitniyot differences], but everyone should be aiming for no leavening agents, leavened products, or specific grains that can ferment for a week. The seder is outlined in a haggadah/haggadot, and especially in modern times with access to DIY resources, the exact details can vary a bit from one seder to another (shorter versions for young children, adding an orange to the seder plate, adding XYZ for a more modern cause, etc.). (Some Ashkenazi synagogues have taken inspiration from Mimouna - a Moroccan celebration/feast - to have a communal meal to end Passover.)

Lag B'Omer

A little bit on Lag B'Omer, though I do get the impression that Liberal Judaism doesn't pay much attention to counting the omer. (Jewish day schools may hold a field day, but it seems to mostly be mentioned because of Israeli observance.)

Yom HaShoah and Yom Ha'atzmaut

Yom HaShoah is 27 Nisan [different from International Holocaust Remembrance Day]. It commemorates the Warsaw ghetto uprising and specifically focuses on Jewish dead [instead of 'everyone']. Yom Ha'aztmaut is 5 Iyar; Israel independence day. [Some Liberal synagogues in the diaspora may not do much, but some add a prayer for Israel.]

Shavuot

Shavuot was originally an agricultural holiday, but post-Second Temple, it's a celebration of Torah with a special evening service and - in some communities - a tradition of staying up all night to study Torah and/or Talmud. Due to this, some Liberal Jews might associate certain food items (often dairy based for Ashkenazi) with this day, but others might not personally connect with synagogue or service related specifics.

Tisha B'Av

Tisha B'Av is mostly explained in a historical way with the impression that some Liberal synagogues have focused on Yom HaShoah as a 'communal grief day' instead of this day.

Noted so it doesn't feel totally incomplete, but the information is just basic enough that I didn't feel like copying any quotes or more detailed summaries:

The Life Cycle subsections: Birth, B-Mitzvah, Marriage, Conversion and Adoption, Death and Mourning.

Community subsections: Synagogues, Community Groups, The Jewish Community Online, Peoplehood.

#books #reviews

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