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sapphire-weapon · 4 months

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They are waiting for 6 remakes to prove to you that you were wrong.

imagine having so little going on in your life that you're sitting around waiting for a game that won't come out for at least five years because someone on the internet made you feel insecure about whether a fictional relationship will be portrayed a certain way in a video game.

like, dude. these mfs think way more about me than i ever think about them or their ship. because, at the end of the day, i don't really care.

aeon's been a feature of RE's canon for 26 years, and it hasn't impeded my love for or enjoyment of the games. if aeon continues to be canon, then nothing in my life will have changed. i'm not going to get upset about something being the same way it's always been. it doesn't matter. RE will still be the same series i've always loved.

all i'm doing over here on this blog is interpreting the games' stories as they were written and providing analysis with evidence based in the text itself. that's why i have a giant wall of text post defending leon and ada's relationship as it's portrayed in OG -- because that's what the story is.

me liking or disliking the relationship has no bearing as to whether or not the relationship is canonically romantic. i don't have to like something for it to be true. and the fact is -- the truth is -- that for a majority of OG RE's runtime, leon and ada have a romantically coded relationship. and so i interpret it and analyze it that way, because that's what it is.

the fact also remains, however, that their relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events. and i'm not saying that because i dislike the relationship. clearly, as evidenced above, if the relationship was portrayed as romantic, i would treat and talk about it that way, regardless of whether i liked it or not. i'm saying that leon and ada's relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events because that's how the story is told.

and if that's upsetting for you (ubiquitous "you"), then maybe you should take it up with capcom's division 1 studio, because they're the ones writing the story. i didn't write the fucking story.

and, not for nothing, but like

i'm also wrong all the fucking time. i was wrong in predicting a wesker boss fight in SW. i was wrong in predicting more DLC coming for RE4make. i was wrong with my initial reading of remake ada from just base RE4make alone, and SW rendered all of my prior meta about her completely worthless.

and if i turn out to be wrong about aeon, i'm not going to be upset. i'm just going to add it to the list of shit i've been wrong about and move on with my life and continue analyzing the text with the new information we've been given.

but they keep trying to drag me into their ship wars as though i give a shit, and i don't. i don't fucking care about what ship is fucking canon, bro. i care about digging into the text and accurately interpreting the story because that's how i personally have fun in a fandom. it's not about the ship, for me. it's about the story.

like, eagleone isn't my only ship. it's not like i'm sitting over here concocting ways to twist the narrative in such a way that it looks like my ship is canon. i fucking ship leon with five other goddamn characters. and yet you don't see me making a case for any of those other ships being intended romances.

RE also isn't my only fandom. i play and talk about and care about other things and the industry in general all the time. i don't care about any of this RE ship shit nearly as much as they do, because i'm busy doing and caring about other things.

it's just so stupid, man. it doesn't matter. none of this matters. and it still won't matter when RE6make comes out.

we're all just trying to have fun here, and what i'm doing here on this blog, i do for myself. for my own fun. because this is how i have fun in fandom. it should have absolutely no bearing on anyone else's ability to have fun in the fandom -- and, if it does, then that person needs to stop fucking looking at my blog.

because none of this matters.

you know

i keep begging aeons to play other games, and this is exactly why.

#sorry i just had to get this out #i've had this fucking annoying anon in my inbox every goddamn day #crying about eagleone and yelling AEON CANON like they're trying to make me feel bad or smth #but i don't feel bad it's just annoying #it's really kind of worrying how obsessive they are #i don't understand why people insist on making themselves so miserable #if i upset you that much why do you check my blog on a daily basis?#why would you do that to yourself?#what does that get you?#i don't understand #i'm just tired of it man #it's so annoying

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uncanny-tranny · 13 days

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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

#mental health #mental health advocacy #it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and #that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people #because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy #obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many #but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person #i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it #and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around #it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people #it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued #anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this #if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you #i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3

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tapakah0 · 1 month

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JUST WHEN I MANAGED TO CALM DOWN ABOUT THE UPDATE YOUR ANIMATIC IS MAKING MY SEROTONIN LEVELS RISE AGAIN (not really complaining it’s so good)

That's the only job I would have been happy to work if it was possible

Don't calm down, be serotonined, feed Cass I need material

#there are just so many cool songs #and since I'm very bad with getting into any fandoms or properly reading something #And I don't feel so happy with doing something with my ocs and feel nothing over comments about them #So I'm stuck with this ink creature to annoy them even if I'm waaay more calmer now #since I have animatable characters to work with and plots that fit to plenty of songs that have been dusting in my collection

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kvetchinglyneurotic · 4 months

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it occurs to me that jamie's conversation with ted at the pub in 2x02 might be the first time he talks about his dad with someone who already knows that james is abusive (with the possible exception of georgie). which means that the first time he hears an outside perspective on the situation, it's ted telling him that his dad's abuse is what made him great

#i don't even have a point it just makes me sad. and also annoyed. every time i watch that scene i'm like why would you say that??????#a lot of the time when jamie's talking about his dad i get the sense there's this underlying question of like #“i feel like this was bad. can you tell me if it was bad?”#and really i think he just needs someone to tell him straight up like. yeah that was bad he shouldn't have treated you that way #but when he brings it up with ted and higgins they try to put a positive spin on it (shout out to season 3 roy for not doing that)#ted lasso #jamie tartt #kvetch oc

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kanonavi · 3 months

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(Spoilers for 4.5 Potion event (just in case lol I know I'm late on this))

At this point, I'm really wondering if we're gonna end up getting some payoff in the future for much Paimon absolutely hates Venti for no discernible reason. Because he isn't the only person she's been kinda standoffish with over the years, but he's by far the most consistent. Like, when you consider the fact that Paimon even warmed up to Al-Haitham by the end of Sumeru, it kinda says a lot about her apparent grudge against Venti by comparison. (And I love Al-Haitham to death, but I'm not about to say he's a ray of sunshine compared to Venti.) (Event interaction-related stuff under the cut)

The contrast to how Paimon treated Diona versus how she treated Venti when they came to the potion shop together was like night and day. I've been going around to all of my friends today and describing Paimon's reaction to them as something like "Diona omg hi it's so good to see you it's been forever how have you been!!! .........And Tone-Deaf Bard." which is obviously a comedic exaggeration, but also not entirely off the mark. And all Venti did was... exist? Try to help Diona out with what she was trying to do? Yes, he's going to get free drinks out of it but he also went truly above and beyond to help Diona find a new ingredient all the way from the middle of nowhere in Dragonspine. If he didn't care about Diona's feelings and what she was trying to do, he wouldn't have done that. (But of course, Venti does care because he's a good Archon and a good person and I love him for that.)

There are genuinely very few things that make me believe in the theory that Paimon is some kind of agent from the Heavenly Principles than the fact that she hates Venti so steadfastly. There's so much evidence that connects Mondstadt and specifically Venti/the Thousand Winds to the old civilizations of Teyvat that the Heavenly Principles once destroyed. For Venti to still exist in the world and let his people make their own choices in the way that he does, of course they and by extension Paimon would hate him. Plus, even if her annoyance with him started with his tendency towards being cryptic, why would Paimon care so much about what he knows? Why does one of his voicelines imply that he doesn't want to tell the traveler things with Paimon around?? It's just so incredibly suspicious.

The scene is kinda funny though when you look at how good Venti is with kids (how helpful and kind he is to Diona despite her wanting to get rid of alcohol, which he loves) and yet one of the most childish characters in the entire game absolutely despises him. Every day I wake up and wonder what in the world Paimon's damage is and if we're going to get a justification for it, or if this is sincerely just what the writers think is funny.

#navi gets meta #genshin impact #paimon #venti #Am I biased in this? Yeah of course. BUT ALSO-#I don't even think having her have beef with him is necessarily a bad choice #It's just the fact that it's Venti of all people #He just feels like someone on the less offensive end of the character's we've met #There are so many people Paimon has warmed up to who have come off and also remained more annoying than Venti ever was imo #So it just makes me feel like there has to be some kind of reason for it #And like I guess it's not a big deal if there's no payoff I will just be sad about it :(#maybe today i'll finally make a meta tag... i feel like i should

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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something he can't put into words.

#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333 #also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random #20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either #meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people #always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it #for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu #does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected #haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway #(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible)#anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either #i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #dojima daigo #like a dragon #daigo dojima #ykz #i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now #gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient #anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love #also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu #uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM #yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig #skrunkart

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goobygnarp · 2 months

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#good grief im gettin a lil tired of seeing 'DONT DO THIS' kinda art videos #i very much understand its a youtube thing and that clickbait names and thumbs get the views and attention needed #but it doesnt mean it doesnt annoy me or that I cant be annoyed by it #sometimes i just see it in tutorial pictures too #but the large DONTS with red Xs near the supposed ''wrong'' way of drawing is so demotivating #people start and draw in many ways than one #its what makes art their own #but when videos or tutorial posts are made and show the ''WRONG'' way to go about it #its like scolding the new artist or long time artist with that style that they're doing it wrong and that its bad #no matter the intention its not the way to go about helping artists learn to draw #and in my personal opinion #the click bait ''DONT DO THIS WHEN DRAWING'' thing is what keeps me from actually watching the vids #i get theyre probably helpful but i don't like that I have to feel some NEED or DESIRE to click on a vid cause I feel like I did a thing #wrong or that i never should have done it at all #i wish i could see more 'here are some tips that helped me #kinda vids cause yes i would love to learn what helped you rather than being or feeling wronged for drawing in a way that isn't theirs #im rambling but i have been seeing a lot of 'DONT DO THIS' NEVER DO THIS' 'IF YOURE DOING THIS STOP NOW' kinda art vids #im speakin for myself here #but im an artist sifting through art youtube or spaces always willing to learn new ways of improving my art #i dont need to feel click baited like the next 3am don't this kid to learn how to improve my inking skills #if it was more a 'this is my personal preference and I wanna share it with my audience and maybe teach some things' kinda vid #id watch that too #but im just so tired of seeing art youtube going down this need to tell folks 'YOURE DOING IT ALL WRONG. THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY"

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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chaggiehearts · 1 month

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An offering for the fallenwings tag 🤲🏻 I love them sm

I always draw Lute with the softest expressions ever whenever I draw her looking at Vaggie pre fall :') the sweeter the love, the more painful the betrayal ig

Bonus because I've made a couple more frames for the animatic and I loved how this one looked :D (and it kinda looks like the continuation of the doodle since I basically redrew this old doodle for the animatic lmao)

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the-knight-of-destiny · 16 days

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Okay, so long long ramble under the cut about the nature of Ratgrinder Discourse™, I'll preface by saying that I don't want any of this to get hostile with anyone, because I think that's frankly silly to do over a webshow. That said I am also open to critical discussion so if anything I say doesn't make sense, or doesn't track I'm open to critique on it! Obviously spoilers up to Episode 19 of Fantasy High Junior Year underneath. Also it is a VERY long post, several pages, so don't click read more if that'll be overwhelming/too much at once. I just had to get my thoughts into words.

So, this will be long but I'll try to break it up. For clarity I want to establish my main point and give a quick TL;DR here, so here's the short version, long version even further below. My main points are as follows: 1: It is okay to not be happy with how a narrative is going in a show/story you enjoy. Critique is not hate, if anything it's a form of praise in a way. People wouldn't be having such long and frequent discourse about D20 and it's current season if they didn't feel strongly. 2: Similarly, we as an audience have a very different perspective of the entire story unfolding compared to the Intrepid Heroes/Cast. I think a lot of people jump to assumptions about the cast's thought process when that really isn't something we can gauge beyond what they say in episode and on Adventuring Party. 3: For me at least, even if I am left unsatisfied by an ending it doesn't ruin the fun I had in a work. Now if you just wanted my bullet point thoughts without elaboration, there they are! The rest of this is going to be an insanely long ramble (seriously, exit now if you aren't up for that, it's pages long) that I don't expect anyone to read, but I like to get my thoughts outta my brain. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, in regards to the Ratgrinders dying in the fashion they have, there's been a lot of discussion on literally every place there is to discuss Dimension 20, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, I'm sure other places as well. Really it all comes back to one thing, Dungeons and Dragons is a game, but Dimension 20 is a show. We as viewers have some level of narrative expectation, now for everyone that's different. Some folks have specific hopes for plot and character arcs. Others just want a general vibe, but the cast are players. Sure they are performers, but they are players in a game in equal measure. I've alluded to this before but a lot of the sincere vitriol to antagonists thus far (and especially the Ratgrinders) comes from the fact that the players have been fully immersed in a world and as characters where the Ratgrinders have been a constant thorn in their side for tens of hours of play time. Obviously one can still not like how they've engaged with them (I'm still not sure how exactly I feel about it,) but a lot of it is coming from that distinct perspective. When Fig took Ruben out, she specifically was frustrated because she 'wasted her season' on him. There's a meta level of Fig being angry with Ruben as a character who shares a world with him, versus Emily being frustrated as a player that a lot of her in-game actions did not hash out. That's actually totally natural, by the way. The interesting way that DnD serves both as a narrative of the characters in the setting, but also of the players rolling dice is part of what makes actual play like Dimension 20 so interesting. It's why I think SOME of the disappointment with Brennan and the Intrepid Heroes comes from a strange place, we literally cannot experience the story the same way the cast have. We get a week between chunks of story, they film the episodes in batches. We can think for as long as we want about our critical thoughts, they have to improv on the fly. We get to watch the Ratgrinders as antagonists in a story, the IH are actively hindered in their gameplay by the Ratgrinders as enemies.

That said I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about some aspects of Protagonist Centric Morality™ in this. Oisin having a mildly flirty conversation with Adaine once when he had ulterior motives is a deeply awful manipulation, but Fig catfishing Ruben the better part of an entire year is her trying to reach out and understand him (?). Kipperlilly threatening to desecrate Eugenia's grave is deeply fucked up, but Riz openly advocating mutilating Oisin's body for tactical reasons, and Fabian loudly declaring he intends to do the same to Ivy for literally just his own self-satisfaction are 'fun unhinged moments'.

Before I go on, obviously the Ratgrinders are the bad guys. They're taking part in an evil plan, they've done villainous things throughout the season, especially very recently, etc. This isn't some argument that the Bad Kids are secretly the real monsters or something, obviously not. I just think it's odd that people read into the Bad Kids' actions in the best possible light at all times and the inverse for the Ratgrinders. This protagonist centric morality also comes down to the true reason behind any and all of Fantasy High's villain redemption. Ragh gets redeemed because the player characters think he's possibly useful and/or endearing. Aelwyn gets redeemed because she personally helps Adaine. The only one that Brennan really pushed forward on his own was Zayn, who they barely engaged with. People compare the Ratgrinders to Penelope and Dayne a lot, and understandably so. However I think this is sort of the complication and in my opinion, the silver bullet to understanding what's actually happening with the Ratgrinder's narrative place, Dayne more specifically. He does very little evil on screen. I mean, he injures Fabian and is most likely the one who killed Zayn, but comparatively to Aelwyn, he does almost nothing. He gets killed without so much as a thought, and in a fun (?) parallel to current Ratgrinder discourse, does actually have his body desecrated after death by Fabian. Because he hurt Fabian personally. Aelwyn gets forgiven of doing a lot of terrible shit (and this isn't Aelwyn hate, she's like my favorite NPC.) because it didn't directly affect any of the Bad Kids besides Adaine, and even the bad stuff that did affect Adaine can be sort of off-loaded onto their parents. So it's why I say this discourse is tough, people inevitably say "Well, the Ratgrinders are villains, of course they'll get killed." And this isn't inherently a wrong statement, they look at the bad things the group is doing and understand they must be stopped, why are people upset clearly bad guys get beat and/or killed in DnD games? Because they aren't actually getting killed in such brutal ways because they're bad guys, it's because they personally annoyed or hurt the Bad Kids. This is also why Ratgrinder fans often feel both frustrated and vindicated at once (I speculate, but I feel it's a safe assumption,) because on a meta level Kipperlilly is literally right. Her friends and likely herself are getting ripped to shreds because they crossed the special protagonists, because they started to really frustrate the Intrepid Heroes. The Bad Kids have forgiven atrocities before, but the Intrepid Heroes are really quick to dismiss and kill people they find annoying.

The ultimate example I feel of this, is Mary Ann. Ruben gets blasted into hell because his actions personally annoyed the players, Ivy gets stabbed to death while being repeatedly insulted and threatened with mutilation because her actions personally annoyed the players.

But Mary Ann is the one they all think they can redeem or save, because her personality is more cute and endearing to the players. That kind of says it all better than I ever could.

#fhjy #fantasy high #dimension 20 #rat grinders #ratgrinder discourse #gosh this is super fucking long and i apologize if it floods any of your dashes #i just have a lot of thoughts on the difference between players and characters in dnd actual play #look i am ok with the rat grinders dying and i love the bad kids and intrepid heroes #but i think a lot of people don't engage with the critique in a fair light #there is a clear dissonance of when the players feel the need to off an antagonist vs how evil the antagonist actually is #and it's mostly fueled by just how annoying they as players happen to find that specific antagonist #also brennan is doing his best to make the ratgrinders somewhat complex imo but is also pitching the intrepid heroes softballs #he doesn't want to make his friends feel bad as players for doing things they find fun in a game #so he's not going to push back too hard even if it might make sense for him to do so

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bb-enablefreebuild · 2 months

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Does anyone else just...feel pity when they think abt Silas? Like, his whole character arc (what we get of it anyway) is him naively believing in everything the Eighth taught him to believe. His stupid ass teenage brain prioritizes the reward of becoming a Lyctor over the safety of his cavalier. Does that mean he shouldn't face the consequences on his actions? No, of course not. That's how teens learn after all, but the fact that he died before he could learn and is now frozen forever as an edgy teen revenant is just tragic as balls.

#don't get me wrong. he's annoying. his whole vendetta against the ninth makes me want to shake him #but I just. man. this feels bad man...he could've been so much better had things been slightly different #which is the tragedy I 100% believe Colum Asht was witnessing #as his uncle grew from a sweet little boy to a coldly ambitious young man #fuck dude!!!!! fuck!!!!#justice for baby uncle #tlt #the locked tomb #silas octakiseron #colum asht

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crimeronan · 5 months

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side effect of having my hydroxychloroquine work really well is that i'm forgetting what it felt like to be Really Horrifically Sick. both because of the emotional distance and because of my general memory issues. the memory issues are a LOT worse concerning Times When I Was Horrifically Sick.

so i'm actually pretty grateful to my past self for the amount of time i spent oversharing here. if i scroll back like seven months in my autoimmune tag i can find posts of me essentially going "eh, i'm sleeping for 22 hours a day but i don't really care anymore bc i've accepted i'm gonna die" and "life sux. can't breathe or think or feel my chest but that's constant so i don't wanna go to the ER about it AGAIN" and "docs took 14 vials of blood 4 x-rays several lung images several lung tests and an EKG before i even left the hospital today. even tho they havent gotten my test results back yet" and i'm like god Damn.

I REALLY LIVED LIKE THIS????????

#if you have ever been the favorite favored patient at an american hospital. you know.#presumably triage is similar in other countries too i just know the american experience is very tied up in. cost benefit analysis #you have to be in BAD shape to be taken seriously at american hospitals. even the good ones. (especially the good ones??)#if you're waiting in the ER for four hours bc of triage it sucks. if you wait for 60 seconds because of triage uh.#You Are In Deep Trouble. You Are In Much Deeper Trouble Than An Annoying Waiting Room #WOW i was so fucking sick. i'm just. flabbergasted.#like i know intellectually that these things happened and have vague memories of all the testing processes and stuff #but i don't Feel it anymore. those things happened to a different person. please god let me have hydroxychloroquine forever #do you guys remember me being sick?? i think some of you actually might remember it better than i do which is. WEIRD.#anyway. back to fic editing now #autoimmune tag

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mintaikcorpse · 9 months

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Wait wait wait wait what? Vivzie said what???? What does this mean??? VIVZIE WHAT ARR YOU DOING?

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actmale · 3 months

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I went through all the Splatoon website and downloaded every* asset I could get

Don't ask me why I did this... I hardly know either

#mine #splatoon #splatoon dlc #splatoon 3 side order #splatoon 3 #agent 8 #I originally downloaded every piece of duct tape the website creators used but after downloading everything I found it really annoying #So I got rid of all of them #Also I do technically have a reason for doing all this #I have autism and compulsions and I just got a bunch of treats from my nintendo and I went on another kick of what my nintendo bgs do I-#not have yet? and then thought what if the website has assets that look like cool backgrounds #anyways a lot of the cool stickers on the website are also the stickers I got in the mail from nintendo which is cool #I'm currently doing everything I can every day to get my nintendo platinum points so I can get everything I didnt buy AND a second set of-#splatoon stickers so I don't feel bad putting them on things #Also I'm sure someone smarter than me has already put these everywhere and probably didnt spend two days doing this #but I'm not smart so this took me a while and maybe someone who is also not smart like me will like these being shared

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bookshelfdreams · 11 months

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#just saw that tweet abt pink days on the set of the barbie movie & i think it made me realize why it - the marketing etc - annoys me so #'margot robbie went around collecting fines and donated them to charity haha' okay. look.#that's just the perfect metaphor for how it worked for us - me - anyone who wants to align themselves with me - when we were girls #isn't it #because you grow up and you desperately want to fit in with the other girls but you don't & you don't know why #but you're surrounded by things and people telling you what a normal girl is like & little-to-none of it is things you find appealing or #interesting. makeup and fashion and skin care. gymnastics and romance. you're told that you are obligated to be pretty #but prettiness has never been part of your perception of yourself. femininity is an arcane concept #an exclusive club that will never grant you entrance #& the only comfort you can give yourself is deciding that it's dumb anyway. shallow. vain. who cares about looks and boys and all of that #idiots that's who #but this is Doing It Wrong too isn't it? because now everyone who has taught you that you will forever fail at femininity turns around #& tells you that's patriarchal oppression and YOU'RE the bad one by distancing yourself from something that always made you feel defective #'YOU may have never lived up to this impossible standard of perfection but some ppl do and actually it's fine to be like that!#hyperfeminine traditionally beautiful women are the most oppressed group of all & finally we will stand up for our rights!'#'girls can be pretty AND conpetent' but that's not what they're actually saying. isn't it.#because performing femininity correctly is the prerequisite. a threshold you can never cross and you know that. & that's fine #but somehow that's wrong too because you're not supposed to make peace w that are you. you're SUPPOSED to want to do it right #even if you don't and never have and never will #and once again everyone is yelling at you that this club isn't meant for you. if you criticize the barbie movie you're antifeminist #if you refuse to wear pink I'll make you pay a fine #hashtag girlpower #(well im not a girl. not a guy either. and not a secret third thing. just bad at femininity.#bad at being a person. and y'all don't need to tell me you don't want me in your club #I've always known that. i just wish you'd stop expecting me to beg for entrance.)

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jestroer · 3 months

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I'm not usually a person to post on many serious matters not regarding fandom on here, but as someone who watched a lot of his stuff and posted about him in the past a bunch, I just wanted to say that I'm no longer am going to interacting with any of Wilbur's content and if you support Wilbur Soot then please don't follow my blog because you are not welcome here. All strength and love to Shubble in this ✊

#just felt i should adress this stuff cause its. yeah #its so messed up #his music really helped me through some messed up stuff and even if i wanted to listen to it now i couldn't even enjoy it i don't think #its just. man #i havent been watching much of sbi and their friends since technos passing but like. this still is such a punch for some reason #glad shubble is in a better situation now and that she had the strength to come out with this. this is such a mess #tw abuse #Wilbur soot #im not gonna make more posts about it or rb much stuff if its not support for shubble #cause i try really hard to have my blog be a positive space for myself and for people who enjoy my art and my blog #but like. wilbur is such a godawful person and its like. with dream i just always thought he was annoying asshole #if not an absolutely awful person although you know i don't rule it out #but with Wilbur like. i never thought about him this way and now that i do a lot of stuff feels. well bad #there are a lot of things that seem really bad with this context.#its just. man. what a fucking asshole. don't even have words for this

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