#but it is kind of annoying sometimes lmao

[vindikaetion]

Sometimes I think about how little DreamWorks cares about Hiccup and it makes me SO MAD. Like I understand Toothless is the marketable mascot, but like... The fact that they SEPARATED them in the new DreamWorks logo is so infuriating to me. Httyd isn't just about Toothless!!! It's about the both of them!! Why is Hiccup constantly getting sidelined?

(If anyone saw my original post where I complained there isn't a hiccup Funko pop no you didn't- ANYWAY I still hate the fact that any hiccup merch that does exist is kind of erm. Not something I would display in my home for its quality LMAO)

Anyway, long story short is I'm annoyed by the lack of Hiccup acknowledgement by DreamWorks lmao

#httyd #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #toothless #justice for hiccup 😤

[struck-by-the-rain]

was inspired by a few other ppl on here to drop some of the kind of cringy tropey lore I made up about these 2,,, mostly how they met n stuff and how I personally see emm.... im v normal about them I prommy

maintagging this perhaps but it's under the read more so if u dgaf u can just look at the silly picture

ok sooo

they meet completely by accident because This Space Kicker In Particular (who I'm calling SK) gets a try again in space soccer and crash lands outside the karate family residence. he's fine though, probably because he's subject to cartoon physics or something (might rewrite this bit of the lore bc it's kinda goofy but it's the first thing I thought of).

v predictably they start out playing soccer together, like they take a ball to the park or whatever n just having a kick around. but they move on to hanging out in a non-soccer context pretty quickly. i imagine sk's really curious to see what earth is like (it's probably his first time there), like he's filled w whimsy and joy just to go to the cafe n stuff :) joe is meeting him behind seniors back!

sk isn't joes only friend - hes friends w yuka n the wandering samurai n a few others, but i don't know if he's actually close with them? partially because he's busy training, partially because he's quite a reserved person, n to me at least I think he struggles a lot with self-doubt/feeling inadequate for anyone around him (partially as a result of the way he was raised). not to get Angsty on main but I think he ascribes wayyy too much of his self worth on his training... I think he has a tendency to try and isolate himself from others, both physically and emotionally

sk is the opposite (tropey ik lmao) - he's v outgoing, silly n carefree almost to the point where he gets on people's nerves sometimes (he's cowboy sk's "annoying little brother" to me). I don't think he fully gets/realises exactly why joe is v reserved but I think he manages to grow close w him in spite of that... idk how to word it. but I think he's such a ray of sunshine he's able to break through whatever exterior joe has put up for himself (ik how cheesy that sounds but yeah)

ive made a post about this before but joe is v v v affection starved (because Basement) and does a terrible job at hiding it to the point where he just melts over the smallest things. sk meanwhile is suuuuuper physically affectionate so yeah

I haven't worked out exactly when this happens but I think they just kinda fall for each other over time, it takes a while for both of them to realise its mutual tho....

joe alsooo gets flustered veryyyy easily (source: karate man 2 ds superb screen). sk probs picks up on this right away lmao

im thinking sk is out here dropping the most obvious hints... but joe refuses to believe that sk would see him in that way. idk he probs does the wildest mental gymnastics assuming that sk is just being nice or it's like,,, a social norm up on his planet lmfao.

but yeah he eventually works it out too in the end... probably partially because he begins to learn to be a bit more confident in himself over time. i think they get to a point where they both v much know it's mutual but r too awkward to do anything about it/don't wanna mess up their close friendship/are too worried about the logistics/implications of living on other planets n senior. so they don't like acc Say anything or whatever for a while. but it's obvious n only gets worse over time lmfao. see the pic above the cut

blehhh silly thought but I hc sk to be besties with 6switcher who I think gets fed up of his shittt... like hes just like "Oh My God Please Just Tell Him. Like Please".

in my mind palace they end up going to the battle of the bands (joes a huge fan of the rockers but he's never been able to see them live before). and ummm after the concert they end up sitting outside live house ogu watching the stars together,,,, and u kno,,,, they kith.... woaw,,,,, but yeah I think because botb is the 1 time in game they "meet" (if u can even call it that) I thought it would be cute if it's where they end up getting together as a couple :)

hmmm like inconsequential shit unrelated to the main story but they find remix 9 cat as a stray kitten at some point during all of this n joe takes it in... i think I could do a follow up post about what happens next in the lore after botb because this is already mega long but they eventually end up living together on sk's planet and the cat comes w them :)

oh adding this on acc after I posted it, but I think when joe meets sk it's like,,, the first time in his life where he hasn't felt lonely...

#punch kick toe #this is v tropey and cringe lmao but i had to share #i havent written any of this down before #posts this and runs away #rhythm heaven #i wanted to give like... context for my drawings of em idk #idk this is just how i see them in my mind palace ymmv

[ryssbelle]

Can we please let Wild experience emotions without calling him sus.

You all can have your own theories but tbh for me the "Wild is Dink" theory has you make so many leaps in logic.

I could make a whole essay about it and I will but I have to go to sleep but it will be covering such topics of:

What the wild dink theory is

Why I personally find it a bit farfetched

And evidence

Till then remember to take this with a grain of salt and you are all valid

#ryss rambles #linked universe #lu wild #this is mostly /j #and not mad #but it is kind of annoying sometimes lmao #thats just me tho #it just seems like sometimes Wild will do a thing #and its not something the fanon have accepted #therefore he sus #and like #maybe im wrong #maybe he is sus #but honestly to me atm #he just seems like a guy who greatly motivated his mentor and his team and is feeling good about himself #and the reason four looks at him is because they wrre licherally fighting not 2 seconds ago #like yall can have your theories but sometimes people just feel feelings #also i will make the essay im just out of town and we have an early check out time #at our hotel

[not-poignant]

Tbh one of the reasons I haven't gotten around to Palmarosa yet is because I knew I had to do a fuckton more worldbuilding research and couldn't be bothered because I was like 'this is going to be a lot more work than it needs to be.'

And after 4 straight hours and over 50 tabs which distilled down into 2000 words of worldbuilding that isn't even me getting to the chapter yet, I was right lmao. But in good news, it means I can officially get started! We're going to Luskan, folks :D

#palmarosa #thespectaclesofthor #i've got a bunch of new characters whose names we'll probably never learn #even though they have names #and i've researched more into espruar than i ever cared to #and then had to invent some new terms #anyway i tried to keep the worldbuilding as short as possible #i could write *two chapters* in four hours with the right motivation #so sometimes i get a little annoyed at how long worldbuilding takes #when most of it never ends up in the story lmao #sdalkjfsdlakfjas #i also found a line of scandinavian perfumes i kind of want to try #only to find out they don't ship to australia so

[ouidamforeman]

Actually im not done posting about Ao3. This isn’t about it as an organization being above criticism and evolution or anything but it’s definitely super fucking weird and an ideological left turn for otherwise really progressive people to suddenly be like “actually the zero censorship nonprofit no-ads archive website for anyone with this hobby to post their transformative work is worthless and cringe and you’re stupid for thinking it’s important at all especially because it has a lot of porn, because porn is the stupidest and most worthless art of all” and I’ve been ??????? for days now about seeing takes on Ao3 and Ao3 users in general like this

#it’s a massive website lmao What are yall talking about #yes some fandom stans are annoying. even sometimes behaving really evilly #but I genuinely don’t understand how that translates to dogshit takes like this lol #sorry but thinking any category of art inherently has less worth than another kind #is uhhhh. yikes??????? genuinely yikes?????? #ao3

[batfossil-fr]

I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art

#my mental health is starting to improve a bit #took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me #ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while #like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit #so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected #diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier #i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome #just learning how to enjoy things again overall #one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post #and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on #even when I wasn’t actively practicing #just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles #i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors #i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao #i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again #for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments #i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all #that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully #starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing #so who knooowwwsss #rambles #funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL #i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first #anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over

[b0tster]

Time for another Bloodborne Kart dev post! Part 1: Re-balanced stamina, now every kart can do 3 boosts at max with the variation being how far into the negatives they end up afterwards, which felt more fair. Part 2: I completely rewrote the collision code, and now karts will more accurately get knocked out of the way if they are hit by a heavier kart, and vice versa where a lighter kart will struggle to push a heavier kart if they collide into them

#Bloodborne Kart #sometimes i feel like i have to struggle against unreal engine's pre-built code to get what I want and it can annoy me at times lmao #but thats kind of the trade-off with using a pre-build engine #compared to building your own engine from scratch which i am absolutely not doing lmao

[gaydogmarriage]

alhaitham is such a lying liar who lies dude. acting like he and the sumeru boys gang have always been besties since forever. "that's how it's always been with the four of us" - man who has barely spoken to most of these people before he decided to team up with them to overthrow the government and regularly skips social gatherings with them. yeah right buddy ok

#explicitly said that he's barely spoken to cyno before when they clash in the archon quest #will literally just skip or show up late when they do meet up #very notably had a huge falling out with kaveh that ended with them not speaking for years #does he even talk to tighnari?? like one on one???? do they hang out???? #i stg kaveh and tighnari are the glue holding the whole situation together #the other 2 are just off to the side being autistic #well cyno actually tries to be social alhaitham doesnt give a fuck lmao #alhaitham after speaking to people that do not annoy him about once a month: 'hmm. i love my best friends' #he adopted a status quo and now simply pretends there has never been a different one #hes so fucking funny #genshin fans who try to make him some kind of big dick sexyman you are so wrong hes a silly goofy clown to me #on a more serious note i do actually much prefer the interpretation of this being a friendship they formed as adults #and everyone involved has different levels of closeness with each other #rather than making them all mutual best friends with each other (even since school sometimes). i think thats a lot more interesting #and canon is weirdly ambiguous about it so shrug #like the current friend groups as it is seems to be a relatively recent formation based on canon bits but then the writers lean into it #so hard as their Thing its a bit odd. but also fun to play with. they dont need to have always been friends to be close

[pianapplez]

Hello there 👋👀,

So I just found your blog and had a lot of fun scrolling through all the pjo show crit😂 I couldn't help but notice that one tag you left on a post where you said you had some beef with Annabeth's portrayal in the books 👀 Would you mind elaborating on that if you're comfortable with it🙈? Because I absolutely share that sentiment, but it's sooo veeeery rare that I see other people express anything like it... I've found that trying to be a part of the fandom can be pretty alienating most of the time, if you're not exactly the biggest most devoted Percabeth shipper...😅 And often any criticism leveled at Annabeth just gets you a smack with the "internalized-misogyny" hammer... it's even worse in the tv show now due to... obvious reasons...

Again just if you're comfortable with answering of course🙈 There is a reason I stayed on anon after all...😅😂

Really glad you asked because i finally get to ramble about this heheheh (going forward, know that i skimmed over The Last Olympian to have a clearer sense of what I meant because that's the book where Rick fumbles her character more than the others)

i'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible but short answer would be, she's underdeveloped. Long answer:

She really got on my nerves in the last two books, with the whole Rachel debacle and then the Battle of New York. I can't really remember a single moment in those books where she and Percy aren't bickering or having heated discussions, which really made me question their friendship status. Of course, it's not like friends can't fight and it obviously builds up the (romantic) tension between them, but it got unbearable at one point.

I understand she's a teenager in an incredibly stressful situation that didn't even get to have a normal upbringing- she grew up way too fast (run away at 7, head counselor at 12) while also not really maturing, which is not a problem for a character, if it is handled properly. Given the fact that I am writing this, Riordan did not.

On the surface, my biggest beef is that Annabeth is not exactly held accountable for her actions (ie. treating Rachel a bit like shit and going off on Percy for a bunch of stuff.) I know Percy is to blame a bit here: as far as we know, in TLO he basically cuts the greek world out of his life as much as he can as a coping mechanism. And while yes, he never apologizes either, he doesn't give her nearly half the hard time she gives him: always either giving him the cold shoulder (there must be at least one example of this in the entire series but i cant be bothered to look it up sorry) or starting an argument only to then storm off (see the "you're a coward, Percy Jackson!" scene, which is not the fairest example since she was confronting Percy about ignoring camp but also was a bit too harsh about it) (especially after finally reading the prophecy and being under the impression that he was absolutely going to die when he turned 16 lmao) or just straight up storming off (see, Annabeth reacting when Rachel shows up for the first time during the battle of new york). While most of these feel, at least to some degree, fairly justified given how the entire situation does an absolute number on her emotions, she comes off a bit brattish and like she's trying to rile Percy up, especially when it comes to Rachel, which in the context of a battle that could mean the destruction of the world.... Well, it reads as a bit childish to me, and i wouldn't exactly have that much of a problem with it if it was dealt with in some way (a two-way apology would be nice).

After that first impression, i realized that Annabeth is barely ever anything else other than a plot device (when relating to Luke) or a love interest (when relating to Percy). This might be because the books are on Percy's POV. Hell, on the third book he's even conflicted when Annabeth is considering joining the Hunters of Artemis, aka, when making a choice for herself would mean he loses her (which is fine and dandy but it feels like Percy is more upset about her choosing her own path rather than being sad about not seeing her as often); we really only get a few glimpses of her, as in, actually her when she's on her own.

Obviously it's impossible to talk about Annabeth without touching on percabeth, which also is, in my opinion, what hinders Annabeth's character the most. On paper they sound great. The guy whose fatal flaw is loyalty falls in love with a girl whose been let down by people over and over, and she decides to never give up on the boy whose always had people give up on him (can't find one of the million posts that talks about this right now but it always goes something like that) And yeah, the bickering is really well written! But that's literally as far as it ever goes: they don't ever seem to have fun together, because 8 times out of 10 the bickering ends up being passive aggressive, and mostly done by Annabeth. My biggest gripe about percabeth is that their friendship seems to be based off... shared trauma. Literally. Other than going on quests together we are given no examples of them hanging out, nor a reason why they would want to spend time together in the first place, not even a shared hobby. Yes, in the fourth book they had a movie "date" planned but of course they didn't even get to it, and surprise surprise, they had a minor discussion, and surprise surprise, Annabeth was passive aggressive again. It's hard to picture them having fun together when even the author doesn't write in any scenes in which they get along smoothly (and before you say anything, a scene in which they get along where neither of them is about to die, and they're not talking about previous adventures. Gets a bit hard then, doesn't it?) It's even harder to picture them as a couple when the moment she gets upset about something, she starts coming off as emotionally manipulative (see, again, literally any conversation with Rachel or about Rachel)

To be fair, the books are relatively short and don't allow many "filler" chapters, if you will; there's always something happening to keep the main plot or a minor plot point moving forward, but it's not like there is no room to develop the characters' relationships, especially when we're talking about the main char and what is essentially his endgame. As an example we have Percy and Clarisse, or Percy and Beckendorf. Their interactions are brief but still hold so much weight.

Worst of all, Annabeth could be one hell of a character; what's most interesting of all is how being a daughter of Athena she is still incredibly emotionally driven, which is displayed very clearly with her fatal flaw being pride: her telling the Sphynx that her questions were too easy was not smart nor strategic: it was completely impulsive. I seriously think she wasn't far from being the best character in the series had she been given more time.

I guess i have as much beef with Annabeth as i have with Rick for doing her dirty. I really could sum this up with: while her emotions are justified, she acts upon them quite poorly. And this is what i mean when i say she's underdeveloped, because it would've been nice to see her come to her senses a bit.

Would love to read anyone's opinions on her character though, feel free to comment, even (or especially) if you don't agree with me!

#pjo crit #anti percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #tbotl #pjo tlo #the last olympian #percy jackson and the olympians #congrats anon on being my first ask!!! #sorry if it's too long or rambly i just have so many thoughts about her. #i dont hate her i dont even dislike her im just conflicted about her. sad that half of her conflict was being jealous over a boy #like yeah i guess said boy was the first real friend she ever had but also rick wrote it in a very “girls fighting over boy” kind of way #didn't really write it to make it seem like annabeth's reasons were anything more than just a hormonal teen acting out. there were no layer #sometimes i feel like im being unfair to annabeth and that maybe her being emotional and mean sometimes is her character and #she's actually written well and i just don't like her? but then i think over it and im not ready to give rick that kind of credit lmao #i truly believe he wrote her beef with rachel to entertain middle graders without really thinking twice about it #annabeth adds to the drama with her passive aggressive comments but at what cost.... maybe im reading too much into it idk #maybe i just find boy drama annoying.. #but making it so that rachel is bound to maidenhood was such a lazy way to get rid of her as a romantic interest #the way rick butchered her character and any char dev for any of them in the tv show by rushing so many things... god. that's another story #if there are any typos i'll edit them later but my eyes are dry af right now and its late jdsjdfh anyway i hope my takes were interesting? #maybe i don't have that much beef with annabeth herself but the fact that percabeth is seen as the best endgame couple when i don't see it

[cleromancy]

this is the dumbest fucking post ive ever seen

first of all. you got dick and jason mixed up bro.

#'end of story' would be a hell of a lot more reasonable to say if #jason and tim becoming brothers had Literally Ever At All been put into canon. at all!!!!!!! #it was not!!!!!!!! #unlike for example dick and tim who very mutually brotherzoned each other as an on-panel rship development #genuinely so irritatingbc i do think its plauible 4 tim to've had a crush on jason as robin but i get associated with this kind of dipshit #completely talking out their rear end and skipping over the fucking #very obvious 'childhood heroworship crush turned brother' relationship thats right fucking there #bc like nothing I've read or even anything ive seen out of context actually makes it seem like tim and jason have a brotherly relationship #lmao. like at all. they literally just like say that they're brothers sometimes and ig the reader is supposed to take them at their word #compared to dick and tim who have so much goddamn pagetime of Actually behaving like brothers after they land on the label #truly the only goddamn way tim and jason are brothers is if you buy into the transitive property of found family #(meaning for example if Tim became dicks brother and jason also became dicks brother then it must be true that tim and jason are brothers) #which i do not. because its not a fucking thing #god you people are so fucking dumb and annoying #dc

[lovecatsys]

marvel is sooo obsessed with the "mutants killed my child so now i hate mutants forever" thing its so annoying. that is not how bigotry works lol

#there's so many things with x men that are so frustrating like this #with this its just kind of annoying but sometimes its straight up like propaganda lol #like the idea of mutants who are genocidal again. there's lots of characters who are like this that i like #but its literally racist propaganda #mutants would not want to kill the whole human race the moment they are liberated #the thing with sabra reminded me of that because its like a representation of a real world bigotry but thats NOT how it works lmao

[muirmarie]

these are from different stories, but can I just say how nice it feels to have the words coming - not easy, per se, but definitely easier than they have the last couple of years?? i am definitely having more fun, put it that way. i think i get too in my head sometimes re: trying to make something good, and forget to just personally have fun with the process without worrying about the result. and the worst is that i'm actually confident in my writing! so it's not that i'm worried about creating something not good, tbh, just. not perfect. oof it's the perfection thing again isn't it. of course it is. ughhhh.

ANYWAY. these (again from different stories) made me giggle:

“Wooing? No, no, Mr. Spock, I don't believe Dr. McCoy would take too well to being wooed. That's why I intend to trick him into a relationship with us.”

“I did try to evacuate the ship, Captain. They...” Scotty winces, “they may have committed a wee mutiny. Although as I was already committing a wee mutiny, I suspect the two might actually cancel out.”

#stretching that writing muscle tag #none of you asked to be invited into my one-on-one writing therapy sessions between myself and i #but unfortunately for you i decided to hold them in a public space lmao #anyway you can block that first tag if it's annoying - that's the one i'm using for this stuff #but i've decided i need to be very very kind to myself while i try to get back into something like a good habit #and that will include stuff like this tbh. sometimes you gotta treat yourself like a skittish dog you're trying to coax close for pets #i am very good at coaxing skittish dogs. let's see if i can be good at this as well lmao

[jrueships]

THEYRE BESTIES!!!!!!!!

#i honestly like it better when the top 3 picks are friends <3 #or can at least reach that level sometimes #cade and jalen are sad to me 😭 #and jaba is always brutally something with anyone. sometimes when hes happy you think youre the best besties in the world #and then in that same day u can think he never wants to speak to you ever again #and then immediately after youre his bestie again #paolo 😭 good luck #alpey has to bear the brunt of jabas brutality for now tho #alpey and jabas lives are cursed to be an eternal shifting between :] vs >:( and :[ vs <:) #scoot has never had grillz b4 or smthing lmao #unbothered king wemby #im so glad theyre besties #scoot sees anyone taller than him and immediately turns into the annoying little man he was grown to be #hes blessed to have that opportunity to show his true form with wemby #i hope they continue to be besties!!!! #i love scoots suit but ive also seen way too much bird poop that i have trauma now #from afar it kind of looks like a bird had an accident on his shoulder 😭 #im the only pigeon appreciator along with some nice elderly folk i like to check up on so im #just consumed in the feathery lifestyle #sorry scoot :( #scoot scoot #webby #i love calling him webby im sorry wemby

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

Fake Dates and Mooncakes

upper-YA mlm romance

follows a Singaporean Chinese American boy who lives with his aunt & cousins who run a struggling takeout in Brooklyn

he’s preparing to enter a mooncake contest in memory of his mother, in hopes to win some money & attention for their business

when he meets a rich boy on a delivery who comes back the next day to apologise about his rude friend, he quickly gets a crush, and ends up as his fake date to a big family wedding

#Fake Dates and Mooncakes #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this was fun I guess?? #was more dramatic than I was expecting (like saving someone from drowning kind of thing lmao) #(there’s a little bit of miscommunication drama in the middle but it doesn’t last TOO long) (though it felt unnecesary) #enjoyed listening to it. it was a bit silly sometimes. #the narration is kinda monotonous ngl. or maybe it was just really slow - I sped it up more than my usual and it stopped annoying me as muc #I did keep thinking it was adult not YA - I guess just the things that come with Rich Love Interest are less common in YA…. #BUT it didn’t necessarily read as an adult book forced into a YA skin yknow #why was the LI still friends with his shitty friend. like he’s just There lmao #I also assumed the author was a dude which I just found out is not the case haha

[blueish-bird]

sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive

#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy #been feeling weird as hell these past few months #like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days #or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day #idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this #just thinking #meposting #I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying #I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult #I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad. #whatever #I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that #dissociation #me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though #she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety #and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’ #I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time #I’m so solid now #so stuck in the ruts of capitalism #fuck capitalism #I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled #sorry I love talking #and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn? #it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing #I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence. #like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5. #overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names. #can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school #bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude #I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time

[anthyies]

check the tags for your favorite things daily. but watch out

#the baru tag right now. lol. lmao even. #low empathy swag so immense that people call her a sociopath #CAN YOU IMAGINE. CALLING. BARU. CENTRIST??????????????? #also leveling accusations about homophobia at a book for depicting homophobia is like. literally all of this fuckign happened in real life #‘no queer author would handle the narrative this way’ well first of all seth uses any pronouns. second of all it’s a tragedy it’s not bury #your gays. this was an ending you can see coming baru is hiding the truth from herself throughout the first book. it was the best ending #under rhe circumstances you do not want her to become a hostage!!! #I take it back I don’t want people to know about baru some of you guys are annoying as hell #Also being just like baru kind of feels like that ruby quartz panic room panel sometimes. #=__= ok im normallll im Normal. #esha.txt #MAYBE IF YOU READ MONSTER AND TYRANT AND GOT THE CATHARSIS OF THE JOURNEY BARU GOES THRU IN THOSE BOOKS. THEN YOUD SEE. #sometimes the worst thing that could happen happens. and you live. survive. have more gay sex even