#but never fitting in anywhere

[mamaspidershit]

idk i just find the idea of hydra!mj so comforting for some reason? like, you don’t understand people? same

#i too want natasha romanoff as my mother #please #lmao i might actually write this #except like #she's adopted at a rly young age #idk ig i just relate to her more? #it's hard being POC #especially woc #(im ftm so socialized fem and the standards on women vs men is INSANE) #plus being neurodivergent on top of being a woc? #and QUEER #jesus its hard #i would love to write a scene of mj meeting nat and her fam #and mjs like the black sheep #feeling so out of place as the only bipoc there #like yt ppl yall dont *know* #it's like being pulled in five different directions at once #but never fitting in anywhere #queer spaces? nope ur too brown #neurodivergent spaces? nope ur also too brown #'it was so long ago' #poc spaces? #nope they're ableist/homophobic #or ur 'too whitewashed' #or 'too spoiled' #sorry this ended up being a little vent-y #rowansrambles

[quadrantadvisor]

Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:

Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.

Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.

(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)

I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.

#i saw someone call jason a 'revenant' in a fanfic once and that is juicy as hell so I'm stealing that- that's what he is in this au #Jason's ectoplasm does react to other ectoplasmic entities so they can sense eachother #but for ghosts he's fucking weird because he doesn't have a core for them to resonate with or w/e #danny would probably think that he's another halfa/liminal at first but the more time they spend together the more that doesn't add up #so I know that I'm trying to give Jason ghost powers but honestly this whole thing is kind of a bum deal for him #he gets all of a ghost's weaknesses and barely any of the benefits #honestly I'm conceptualizing this as more of a disability than a superpower #discovering that youre less alive than you thought you were and you're technically just a walking talking corpse running on supernatural goo #is fucked up and creepy and upsetting! #and it's something that he would have to come to terms with before he could start exploring what new opportunities it might give him #and i think that's really interesting #it's part of why I love messing with Jason in dpxdc stories so much #danny is fully ghost and fully human and he never feels like he fits in anywhere already #Jason is not quite human and not quite ghost so you can imagine how that would go for him #anyways i think they should be best friends and visit frostbite in the realms to make sure jason is healthy and also they should maybe kiss #and listen to the black parade together and talk about dying and stuff #danny fenton #jason todd #dp x dc #dpxdc #danny phantom #dc #batfam #my rambles

[possamble]

I absolutely really need to be writing anything but random ideas while I procrastinate and this is so awful rough bc I literally wrote it on my phone in one sitting while avoiding work but

Do you see my vision. Her Nosy Bitch Syndrome would actually be good for him when they've both chilled out a little in the postcanon.

#fic #wip #i know its weird that im writing about shuro getting a crush on marcille when i have no intentions of letting that go anywhere #but the idea wont leave my head. he would end up liking her for the same reasons the toudens latched onto her #she's weird and awful in her own way but she's honest about it. you never have to second guess yourself with her #because she wears her heart on her sleeve and is so bad at not doing so #she's not afraid to Speak Up and advocate for herself so you can trust her to push back if you lean on her too hard #maybe i just have terminal blorboism. i want to see her be freaky good at learning eastern magic #and maybe even cry a little bc calligraphy gives her that same calm feeling that braiding her hair used to #and she didnt think she'd ever find another meditation routine that actually fits her #also its just. wouldnt it be so funny. if falin was worried about them not getting along bc marcille is jealous #and then actually visiting and seeing the way shuro looks at her and going #oh no you dont. thats MY elf get your own!!!!!

[z00r0p4]

As of late the term pick-me girl has been over-applied to the extent that it inhibits any and all critique or analysis of hegemonic femininity. And I think that is generally not good or helpful.

A girl isn't automatically a pick-me for recognizing that her experience with music does not reflect those of her peers.

An autistic girl isn't automatically a pick-me for having the lived experience of finding it easier to socialize with boys than girls.

If your use of the term (and I'd argue that it's often used primarily as a thought-terminating cliche) pick-me transcends the bounds of a girl fabricating traits and throwing other girls under the bus for the sake of male attention, you are using it wrong and may in fact be doing more harm than good to girls' self-perceptions.

You're potentially creating a new double standard for women in the process, too, because it's a not-so-indirect contradiction to our beliefs about authenticity and what it means to be different. It just becomes another invisible social barrier for women.

#srry i just needed to put this somewhere #im not even gonna get into the weeds about how I think a lot of girls labeled pick mes are just contrarians as a coping mechanism for #literally never fitting in anywhere #and I'm humble enough to admit that I'm probably calling myself out there #but i still think its worth a little consideration

[crescentfool]

ryojis / ryominas from 2022!

#persona 3 #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #makoto yuki #ryomina #lizzy does art #part two of 2022 doodles! ok this one is more like sketches / wips that never made it anywhere. LMAO #i miight color some of these but no guarantees :p #i somehow have more and less sketches of these two than i thought. #more in the sense that im like wow! i had to put some of these on the same canvas to fit the image limit #but less in the sense that i want more silly sketches...... #ryoji is still a character i struggle drawing BUT he is worth it... i want him to be happy :) #cheers to more of them in 2022!

[lakesbian]

imnot reformatting this into a coherent post but do you hear me. is this thing fucking on. is this any thign.

#fervently fighting for the briantaylor agenda with a big ole bloody bat #like it would be great for her mental health to realize she's fine as she is. but that's not actually anywhere plausible so the next best #thing is a solid hug from someone who cares. okay. #[me posting an unedited stream of thought on tumblr] oh god i hope this doesn tsound like i think gender roles are good #like theyre not. but she always feels like Far Too Much like she doesn't fit anywhere #brian Observes how she stands all folded up like she doesn't quite fit and can never fully unfurl herself #and he's a space where she can just. finally stretch out and be all taylor and get a kiss on the head 4 it. do you udnerstand #worm spoilers

[guardianlioness]

Been contemplating what my writing is about, lately, and what it should be about.

Really curious to see what other folks have to say about their own work—if you feel like sharing, maybe reblog and add your thoughts to the tags?

#never being fully one thing #and thus unable to fit anywhere #with a heavy side of loving people that will never understand you #trying to protect what you love despite that #and whether or not that drive is noble #and I still haven’t decided how to answer that question #I think maybe that’s why I’m writing #…and also why I get really emotional over a handful of very specific protags tbh

[duawawawa]

One thing I really want to see is Tubbo and Sunny going on an adventure together, go find somewhere far away to a modded terrane and pick some flowers, catch some animals and discover dungeons and stuffs.

I know it's not Tubbo style of playing Minecraft and he needs to be at the Tubchunk for it to load. But it's getting repetitive and i'm not gonna say boring but I want him to stir the pot, changing up something ya know.

Or if he think the cookie quests as the global contract, he don't have to rely on Bad or Fit to give him the stuffs because the cookie quests are intended for the eggs and parents to work together (like it gives them purpose/objective to do for the day).

*poking ccTubbo with a stick* hey u.... go outside of your factory and touch grass

#qsmp tubbo #qsmp sunny #this is no way a neg to tubbo or anything #i just really want to see something else aside from factory and farm building just for a chance one day #fit brought sunny and ramon to an ice mountain to find snow leopard the other day made me realise #Sunny has never explore anywhere outside the main area much #the closest was when Tubbo and Sunny went out whale hunting #but that too was cut short

[quillquiver]

unfortunately i have become aware of my own body at the age of 30 and the result has been gender

#this very strange this has happened #wherein i have realized that i have actively suppressed thinking about my body in any meaningful way when i was growing up #because it was uncomfortable and didn’t look right and i never used it right #but then i read a book that hit too close to home #and now i am so aware of my body i would like it to stop please #and it’s very strange bc like #i love boxes #i love labels #and yet the older i get the more i have to come to terms with the fact that i don’t fit anywhere #trying to reframe this as freeing is a challenge

[skunkes]

accidentally sanitized my desk too much while cleaning it. Removed the clutter but at the cost of rainbows and whimsy everywhere in the form of all my markers surrounding me

#talkys #what ive learned while cleaning is i have too many items i dont want any more but feel bad parting with #and not enough items i like #but idk. i cant buy items i like (like little figures and such) bc i hate owning items #and also the new items dont fit anywhere among the old items i cant part with #i will never have an aesthetic room unfortunately. which is fine‚ but not when itll never look nice to even myself. whatever

[wowbright]

Spent the day sitting on the floor (usually cross-legged) in order to hand-baste a king size quilt and discovered that I am definitely getting too old to sit on the floor all day.

#it would be great if we had a table that was the size of the king size quilt #except IDK anywhere it would fit #also it would be great if I could have done it over a period of days #but the only place where I can clear the floor for a space large enough for the quilt is next to the kitchen #which is a high traffic area #and I would never trust the cat alone with it #so I can't leave it there overnight #so my choice would be to fold it up and put it away after each session of basting #which might have been even more of a pain in the ass because then I would have to re-square everything up every single time #and more likely to have fabric puckers etc #so yeah I did it but yikes #let's hope i don't get bursitis #quilts #quilting #gpoy

[antisocialxconstruct]

good news: it is real 👍

bad news..... it is so so small 😂😂

tell me in WHAT universe this is an XXL..... I might still be able to style it somehow but I am a little disappointed it isn't the slouchy sweatshirt I was dreaming of. Trials of online shopping I suppose

#rom speaks #as far as i can ascertain the label is 'universe funnel' but if you search that..... there's nothing. it doesn't exist #i tried to buy this exact sweatshirt from a site that turned out to be a drop shipper years back #i ordered it with a pair of shoes. shoes arrived and i still have them. They’re great #sweatshirt just never even shipped and they had no good explanation for me. #when i tried to scrounge it up again from some other vendor it kept getting associated to a brand called club giv #but everything i could find emphatically implied club giv was a scam and they just take your money and send you nothing #found it listed on one other very sketchy site where the images were poorly edited with slightly different text #genuinely if i didn’t have this one sitting on my bed right now i wouldn't be convinced this sweatshirt ever existed anywhere in the world #so..... i just have to live with it being LITTLE #tbh i think the real solution here is i have to make one myself with the fit i want. I'm not in love with how the text is distributed either

[ardentpoop]

they literally had no clue what a special and one-of-a-kind character they had on their hands

leagues above the rest of this show’s characters in terms of emotional depth

#not to sound like a broken record but the fact that the writers treated him like shit adds a layer to his narrative #like if he wasn’t saddled with his particular role within the restrictions of his particular universe I wonder whether he would’ve spoken #to as many sad freaks like me as he did #if he wasn’t written thru a misogynistic lens for a misogynistic audience his story may have been significantly less tragic #if he wasn’t in a story that viewed mental illness and addiction as moral failures. #if he wasn’t in a story that ultimately believed in Us vs Them and in the inherent Rightness of the nuclear family #if he wasn’t in a story that handwaved and made excuses for the abuse he suffered at the hands of his loved ones bc it was #merely a consequence of him straying from the Mission #thee singular male character that I’ll tell you is a woman and mean it in the sense that you CANNOT engage meaningfully with him without #acknowledging that his central conflicts and his defining traits and the way the fandom at large treats him are all tied up in #traditional expectations for female characters #he’s relatable if you’re a misunderstood woman and if you’re queer and if you’re a 2nd gen american #if you’ve felt lonely your whole life and if you feel like you never fit anywhere #an actually perfect character to me few others can compare #tag vomit

[ruporas]

more sugiO

#sugio #osugi #sugimoto saichi #ogata hyakunosuke #golden kamuy #UWAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #ok #i posted on my other socials so now ill ramble in the tags bc its a little less embarrassing to post on tumblr than it is anywhere else #but these are just the results of waiting a week #thinking endlessly about sugio and then doodling my ass off the moment the weekend came #i cant really verbalize how i think of them. in a modern au sense they're ofc much better off and ill talk about that in the future maybe!! #but canon compliant wise................ :melting-emoji: #i am a multishipper so in another universe sugimoto is much more happier with perhaps. someone superior. someone better than ogata but #unfortunately i rotate sugio in my brain the most often and while i picture sugimoto be both regretful and disdainful of his feelings #i do think he accepted his feelings early on once he recognized it #and well. sugimoto is nice. hes really nice. hes sweet and silly and has a knack for romance even if he never really pursued it himself #but he has a track record for ppl that he has loved. and i think those people shape him into his kindness. #toraji... umeko.... and now the person he's closest to is asirpa who is just. eugh. ill cry if i get into their familial/platonic bond. #But u see what i mean. ogata is like a trapezoid box trying to fit in with circles. and that wouldv jarred sugimoto soooo much and consideri #ng the kind of personality that ogata elicits from sugimoto during their interactions . he's Just immediately like Why. Whyyyyyy HIMMMMMMM #but i think he gets around it. a real internal struggle. #meanwhile ogata -- the absolute legend of denial and repression - denies it vehemently. does not See it. and thinks there must be something #wrong with sugimoto -- which is smth he takes comfort in #but he'd never return those feelings -- only the passive affection that could come along with it bc physical affection =/= internal emotions #and i don't find ogata to recognize it -- only catch glimpses of it through odd feelings of warmth -- dreams -- instinctively following #or looking at sugimoto pre-abashiri. its small things and well. it'll whiplash him in the end. #bc love has been so absent in ogata's life. if familial/platonic love can't reach him #then romantic love could never either. and that makes me shake his shoulders and weep. #ive written too Much in these tags. AND THis is Not worded in the best way ANYWAY. but At the least i got to verbally wordvomit it out. it s #been just stewing in my brain bc i have no idea where else to put it down.

[milogreer]

do you know how many hours i spent renaming these tiers and reorganizing these dumb little icons? this was like planning a wedding seating chart except the freaks in the bottom row receive restraining orders instead of wedding invites. here's the link if you wanna try :)

#anton and aaron had to invade what was originally the in-law section bc they didn't fit anywhere else 😭 #also i have never listened to a nick audio because he scares me #redacted audio #redacted asmr #sweetheart.txt #tier list

[whispers-of-gallifrey]

Just watched Fury from the Deep and I love Victoria's exit so much it breaks my heart. She's so worn down by their travels always ending up full of danger and death and her always being put in the position of damsel in distress. She really doesn't want to leave jamie and the doctor but she doesn't want that life and I love that it let's her make that choice. And I love that Jamie's concerned she won't be happy living in, what is to them, the future but she acknowledges she's changed too much to go back to Victorian England, and she's highly unlikely to get back there anyway, not without more death and danger. That the doctor changes his mind about slipping away in the night and agrees to stay another day so Victoria can think about her decision properly without feeling as pressured. The fact that she knows the doctor won't say a proper goodbye because that's his way. The way she stands on the beach watching them row out to the tardis, knowing she'll never see either of them again. The fact she doesn't go back to the tardis with them to collect her belongings. Jamie's "I don't care where we go next" because he's miserable that Victoria made that decision. The Doctor's "I was fond of her too, you know" which is the closest he'll get to admitting how much he cares about them all. I just love it

#i just have so many thoughts about her #i love that the story builds to her exit with her saying shes tired of being frightened and asking why they never end up anywhere nice #her exit's similar to tegans in that theyre both worn out and sick of it but i love where tegans exit is impulsive #and very much in the heat of the moment #you see victoria considering it throughout the episode even though she cant bring herself to say it to jamie and the doctor #and yeah i just love that we get to see the travelling take its toll bc when you get down to it she is just a kid who never signed up #for any of this #and where new who companions get breaks between adventures and have lives outside the doctor #classic who companions dont get any of that by virtue of the 'the doctor cant control the tardis' so the doctor and his lifestyle is all #they have #and it goes even more so for victoria bc shes one of the orphaned companions who has nowhere to go back to #(sidenote i was thinking the other day about how many classic companions have nowhere they want to go back to particularly with 1 2 and 5 #which fits with the whole 'cant control the tardis so they cant ever go back so we better make companions who dont want to' #idk i just love that so many of the classic exits are companions finding a new home/realising they can do good in this new place #like they can never go back to their old home and they end up with their temporary tardis family until they find somewhere new to call home #and ik we rarely see the outcomes of these decisions so we dont know if they were the right ones but still) #anyway this was about victoria #in conclusion: i love her and her exit #doctor who #victoria waterfield #jamie mccrimmon #second doctor