#can't get this out of my head
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It starts small,
inconsequential really.
But Roy, he knows the signs, this isn't his first rodeo, as Ted would say. That thought makes him curse beneath his breath. Sounds like something fucking Lasso would say. It makes Roy's blood boil a little. He hates that the fucking cowboy coach has gotten into his head.
But the point is, Roy notices.
It's small but its there.
Roy notices the way Jamie tips back the protein shaker, as he stands in the locker room laughing with the boys, but the liquid inside doesn't actually seem to go down.
He notices the way Jamie's hands sometimes tremble as he picks up his water bottle in the gym. Having pushed himself harder then any of the rest of them.
He notices the way Jamie jots down notes in a little pocket notebook at lunch.
Roy doesn't see what's in it, but he'd bet his championship trophy its that stats of whatever Jamie's eating at lunch.
Its not new. Everyone has macros to track, protein goals to reach. Carefully controlled carb intakes, but there's a darkness to Jamie's eyes as he scribbles hastily in his little notebook.
Roy knows that look, and a part of him wants to look away, pretend he didn't see it, pretend he doesn't know the signs for what they are.
He looks around the room, everyone is eating and laughing, they don't see what Roy is seeing. Most of them barely even spare Jamie a glance.
Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck it.
It has to be Roy, it can't be anyone fucking else.
#ted lasso#jamie tartt#roy kent#afc richmond#fanfic#future fic maybe?#I don't know the thoughts are percolating though#tw eating issues#tw disordered eating#tw control issues is what I think it will boil down too#afc richmond team#hurt/comfort#keeley jones#sam obisanya#isaac mcadoo#coach beard#Can't get this out of my head#Am I really adding to my WIP's?#fucking probably#This is my whole brain rn#We're all waving flags
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Do you remember when we were eleven? Let's go back to that.
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a tribute to the magnificent Running on Air by @tinyhistory
#drarry#running on air#can't get this out of my head#I have a paper due tmr#wish me luck#this is my design#this fic is inside me constantly like a parasite#draco malfoy#harry potter
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"it's freeing isn't it? starting over to forget: the expectation placed upon me, when I invented who I should be"
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anyway so, after fang's description of the crew beating ed to death and it not being the cannonball that did it and saying "a lot of crotch stuff" um
two of 'em holding izzy up so he can deliver one singular but heartfelt kick between ed's legs alskfjks
#jack facts#can't get this out of my head#also love the idea of ed finding this out and being amused by it#ofmd#hc
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Harsh, brutal vocals straight from the pits of hell ✅
Dark, otherworldly backing like a nightmare ✅
Fun and energetic killer beat ✅
#Shiv-R#music#Banana posts music#can't get this out of my head#I'd listen to it all day if I weren't careful
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AND YOUVE DONE IT IN 2022 AFTER IVE DONE IT CHELSEA COME ON NOW
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Twisted Nerve - Bernard Herrmann
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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you're still there (still there) you look better (what the fuck?) i fought it but i saw it and it sawed me right in half
you still get to me. but i still let ya (yes, i do) now you're being a superstar and all i got are victim cards and you get every single thing you want
and i just WAtch
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no but since this one receipt 'i give you my love, what more do you want' haunts me now
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“The great angel, Arthur, shall smote you down”
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i don't think some of y'all understand how significant it is that annabeth chase, the leading lady in an IP/brand as big as percy jackson, is played by a black girl. she is not some sidekick or comic relief. THEE annabeth chase, one of the wisest, intelligent, brave demigods and love of percy jackson's life, is played by a BLACK GIRL!!
but you're so hateful and caught up with book inaccuracies and changes that you can't even offer a sliver of hope for things to improve in continuing seasons, and instead immediately resort to wishing the show gets cancelled because they didn't do that specific thing in that specific scene in the books. makes me think there might be another underlying reason as to why you want it to fail.
and before someone starts, this isn't to say you can't have criticism, but if you really love percy jackson, why wouldn't your hope be for things to get better?
"i hope this show gets cancelled" yeah girl fuck you
#i do have my own crits too i dont think it's perfect but to be cancelled?? some of you book purists need to get out of your damn head!#anyway i love you leah and i can't wait to see more of you#percy jackson#percy jackson show#pjo#pjo tv show#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#percabeth
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