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thestarlightsymphony · 1 year

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I cant choose between 39, 36 and 32 so I'll let you decide! (from the soft prompts)

39. There should be a word for a threat that is also a promise. Because that is what I want you to hold me down and do. (I love you)

“If I were to leave one of these days, without telling you, what would you do?”

“Mmm... what?”

It wasn’t a fair question, and it doubly wasn’t an appropriate moment to ask it, but Faye didn’t care. This question always haunted her too late in the night, when her eyes should be heavy but she was wide awake, restless in her own head.

She wasn’t trying to test him. She used to want to, given their natures, as if she actually needed some greater proof of his love or loyalty. That was years ago, when they were younger and more foolish. More reckless.

Now? She was just curious. Scared, but willing to accept whatever answer he gave.

Because she thought about it sometimes. When she got tired and restless, itching for some new thing, any new thing, she thought about picking up where she left off and running away. It wasn’t like there was nothing for her here, it’s just here was too comfortable sometimes.

She loved comfort, but she could feel some piece of herself slipping away, sharp edges of her identity jabbing and aching as they left without her.

“If I left, Spike... what would you do?”

There was no good answer. No right way to make her feel better or worse. If he said nothing, he’d be damned. If he opened his mouth, she might cry.

Spike thought quietly in the darkness, his arm wrapped around her comforting and suffocating.

“I would miss you, but I wouldn’t stop you.”

His breath on her forehead felt like home. Her last home was currently a pile of ash and rubble.

“Whatever you need to do for yourself is your choice to make. I’m not going to stop you leaving, if that’s what you need. If I see you again, I can’t promise what kind of person I’ll be, either, but I won’t hate you for it.”

Spike’s arm retreated and he moved back slightly, just enough to take her face in his hands and wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m not going to ask if you’re leaving. I won’t ask you to stay, either. I don’t know what this is about, but if you need to go, there’s no stopping you. There’s never been a person in the whole universe who could stop you if you wanted something.”

Faye hiccuped, trying to blink away more tears. “I think about it sometimes,” she confessed. “What if there was? What if I need to be stopped?”

Spike smiled, a warm and firm smile. “I trust you too much to stop you.”

After a moment, he kissed her forehead. “If you asked me to chase you, I would. In a heartbeat, I would. But don’t ask me to stop you.”

Faye buried her face in his chest, allowing herself to be re-enveloped in his arms. “I don’t want to be stopped.“

“I know.”

“Would you really chase me?”

“In a heartbeat. But you would have to ask. I’m not a mind-reader, Faye; if you leave without a word, I won’t follow you. I trust you to do what you need to do. If you want to be followed, you have to give me something to know.”

“... Would you really not follow me if I didn’t say anything?”

“... No. But trust me, you don’t need to know that.”

Faye smiled to herself, the pressure finally easing from her chest.

Trust... it almost feels like like a threat, more than a promise. But this threat has no knives. Only heartbeats that are free.

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tubbytarchia · 3 months

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For the ranchers a bit more shleep i just really like charakters comfy and nice:Dc /nf

Eepies. Jimmy woke up to really sore wings but its okay because Tango

#(I cannot imagine avians sleeping on their backs lest they have special mattresses or something but hnng. For the domestic fluff...)#team rancher #rancher duo #solidaritek #I imagine Tango is not nearly as much of a ray of sunshine in the mornings as Jimmy is. Jimmy finds it endearing though 100%#I also imagine Tango moves the hell around in his sleep and tangles them both up with his tail #He's gonna try to apologize a thousand times for “making you sleep on your back” but Jimmy won't let him #ALSO what does /nf mean lol. Every other day I see another new tone indicator that I cant figure out the meaning of #please feel free to use brackets to circumvent my stupidity. I do not know the hip things... I am but a boomer noobie #trafficshipping #trafficblr #I have so many other rancher asks in my inbox that could fall under this #Rancher cuddles and smol Tango and this and that hhrr but I will... I will get to them... in time....#never enough rancher content #also laying on someone when they laugh so their chest bounces up and down etc. Oh it makes me weak. Not that I know what its like lol #but it feels cute...#tubby art

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3cosmicfrogs · 3 months

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oh 12.65 litres of blood clinging to the outside of my body, we're really in it now

#what happens when OP cannot figure out the esen sun symbolism #fine ill do ouyang moon symbolism then!#artfromthefrogs #blood tw #general ouyang #he who drowned the world #hwdtw #she who became the sun #swbts #the radiant emperor #tre #ouyang #art #this was supposed to be like a tarot format but it looked shite so (as usual) i scrapped a ton of work to make it look good #when zhu is trying to become emperor but youre too busy having the most tragic yaoi in china and also you must kill the khan #me when it turns out that killing the object of my affection means that he is dead.

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greenrow · 4 months

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The one thing they all have in common

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin art #my art #what do you mean this isn't how it went down?#i ran to make this as soon as i saw the og picture #still cannot figure out how to draw any of them

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cozylittleartblog · 2 years

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swatchvember prompt: party

happy 37th birthday to Microsoft Paint ✨🎂🎉🎈

#deltarune #swatch #swatchlings #tasque manager #queen #art #swatchvember #THE ONE PROMPT I COULD NOT AFFORD TO MISS THE DATE ON #''guys what theme should we do for the bosses cake'' ''what if we made 3 cakes with diff themes and stacked them on top of each other''#''by the fountains Percy you are a genius''#queen makes them run around all day doing stupid shit and they finally get to the cafe and mysteriously its rented out #they cannot believe this is the first they're hearing of it this stuff usually has to go through them first #they very quickly find out that queen is also behind this and it is a huge private party just for them <3 they work so hard they deserve it #she is Snapping that stupid party hat onto their stupid head #and Repeatedly shoving a second one over the end of their beak all night to be annoying #yknow its good when swatch breaks character and actually Emotes but its an even better sign when they go completely static #because that means they are hiding an absolutely embarrassing display of emotion and its taking All of their energy #the cake flavors are strawberry - chocolate/vanilla split - and Funfetti btw #... funfetti is just vanilla with sprinkles in it last i checked but Shut Up Lmao #also i totally messed up their mood tints i figured fear was yellow but happiness is also yellow. so. i decided fear is more of a #highlighter/yellow-green color and happiness yellow is like a. nice mac and cheese yellow :) very warm but still distinctly golden #one is pleasant to look at and one is terrible

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otaku553 · 1 year

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The eventual kazuha and sanemi dynamic

#kny crossover #genshin impact #kaedehara kazuha #shinazugawa sanemi #one day I’ll finish writing the first chapter. one day #anyways I love thinking about these two #i think platonic relationships are so fascinating #like you could definitely construe so many different friendships as romantic ships but to me these two as friends has so much potential #sanemi canonically dislikes Giyuu because he gives off a ‘better than everyone else there’ vibe that is purely unintentional #and canonically is friends with Iguro for reasons I still cannot figure out #sanemi’s so interesting because it’s not like he’s a purely chaotic character despite what his first appearance would suggest #the manga and genya’s memories clearly show that he has a lot of respect for oyakata-sama because oyakata-sama is not high and mighty and-#does in fact understand every sacrifice that goes into the battles that they fight that he must sit on the back lines for #sanemi is a very loyal person I think once someone has earned his loyalty even though he owes about showing this in very aggressive ways #I think he goes off against genya especially because genya fighting as a demon slayer goes against everything that sanemi has fought for #since they lost their happy lives sanemi has been fighting for at least one of them to still be able to live normally and he probably thinks #that Genya spat on that sentiment by becoming a demon slayer anyways #anyways I think sanemi and kazuha would have such an interesting dynamic #sanemi has the authoritative upper hand as a pillar but kazuha isn’t even a demon slayer which means sanemi’s position doesn’t do much #beyond acting as an indicator that he is one of the strongest of the corps anyways.#they’ve both lost a lot but sanemi still has someone to fight for whereas kazuha is holding onto the last embers of a corpse’s wishes #and I think them having a talk about their motivations would be very good #because I don’t think at this point that kazuha has very much reason to live beyond carrying on Tomo’s wishes #if the swords are parallels to visions I think Kazuha’s turning point will be when he receives his own nichirin sword #sorry for the long tags lmao

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patchodraws · 5 months

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Aylin curls her fingers around Isobel’s hand, draws it towards her cheek with a tender regard set upon her; Isobel nearly flinches for a moment, that same fear pounding beneath her chest, until her fingers find the soft, porcelain skin of Aylin’s cheek, and that dark fear subsides.

“Tell me you do not see the brilliance your touch grants my soul,” she says. It’s a challenge, but spoken like a prayer. “Tell me you do not feel your chest aflutter in its presence.”

“I do, but—“

Aylin cracks the faintest smile, so distant from the radiant bluster she exhibits in the everyday and far closer to the intimate grins they once shared in private moments of reverence and selfish prayer.

“Then your heart is all your own, my darling.” Insistence, assurance, and — yes, even relief colour her words, soak them in the soothing balm of her presence and esteem. “Ketheric’s had rotted long before he had ever known the grave. Yours is your own even long after. You are my Isobel, and you could never harm me.”

The grip on her hand tightens faintly, and a small trickle of gold leaks from the corner of Aylin’s closing eyes before meeting the edge of Isobel’s thumb; an old but nigh-forgotten impulse tightens her chest, sets a warmth beneath her cheeks, and she wipes the tear away with a feather-light flit of her thumb, wondering how many of those Aylin had to shed in the years she’d been gone.

How many she wishes she could have wiped away in that time.

“Have I not hurt you enough?” Isobel whispers, though the words ring hollow. She never intended to leave the greatest joy in her life, the most brilliant beacon in her faith. Still, it’s hard not to wonder how deep that loneliness struck, how far that heartbreak had settled beneath the ancient scars she wears.

Aylin shakes her head as her eyes drift open, and the adoration she sets within Isobel’s own longing gaze steals her breath for but a moment. “After all the hurt I’d endured, being with you again heals me. No matter the years.”

#my writing #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dame aylin #isobel thorm #aylin x isobel #isobel x aylin #i had this thought for them a few days ago #i really wanna write a fic about them #that both explores isobel’s horror at what her father became #and what it might mean for her #as well as aylin’s trauma that she is too stubborn to admit to #and feeling like the daughter of a goddess cannot - should not - feel such mortal pain #as she tries to figure out why she lost her oath #god i love them both so much #as a couple and as characters on their own #do y’all think i should write this ? :0

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3-aem · 1 month

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MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE

#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei #im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward #AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB #also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore #like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished #i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line #this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired #hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body #me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right #but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence*#before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues #and i was just like ya….i know 😭#its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb #its probably both im ngl #the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean #and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey #using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out #also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack #now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time #three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time

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wind-rider · 5 months

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The aroaspec experience of ‘Is this romantic attraction or just platonic. What even is attraction. Where is the line. Help.’ and then proceeding to question societal norms of attraction for a while without coming to any actual conclusion to your question.

#it’s just #it’s weird man #the line feels simultaneously very thin and blurry for close friends and like this massive leap #I wonder if it has something to do with the whole demiromantic thing #like #I haven’t romantically liked every person I’ve been close friends with #but every person I’ve romantically liked I’ve been close friends with #if that makes sense #I don’t really get crushes #it feels more like some line being jumped between close friend and More #but I cannot for the life of me figure out where that line is #and sometimes shuffle back and forth over it #there’s no real set of rules for what’s what when it comes to romantic-platonic I feel #because people go ‘cuddle your friends! kiss your friends! platonic love can still mean those things!’#but when those things are also shown as indicators of romantic love #where the hell is that line #what’s the DIFFERENCE #idk man #I’m just rambling at this point #asexuality - at least my flavour of it - feels pretty clear cut #that’s easy #but the rest? especially when it’s not solid aro and it’s Demi or gray or whatever one might have?#the lines feel so very blurred #asexual #aromantic

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hyoqa · 9 months

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pairing: akatsuki hyoga x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: hyoga thinks very poorly of being in love, but he's in love with you

warnings: hyoga is a little sweet at the end

Hyoga did not like the idea of love— it was only natural for someone who thought like he did. It was illogical and people acted irrationally because of it. If anything, he looked down on those in love because he genuinely thought they were losing their minds to some silly feelings. To him, love was always something for the weak, not for the strong who had things to be doing. Important things.

Which is why he thought you were so horribly stupid to be confessing to him. If one thing wasn't going to work, it was that. Yet, no matter how many times he told you that you were being silly and he wouldn't return your feelings, you just wouldn't back down. Almost daily, you'd find a way to tell him your feelings again.

He hated it so much, everything about it upset him, but somehow he wasn't able to push you away. Your daily greetings and conversations made him far happier than he would like to admit, and that annoyed him greatly. He was not supposed to be feeling joy from someone else, and definitely not supposed to be looking forward to seeing you. Illogical, irrational, thoughts.

These thoughts alone already annoyed him— he hadn't even dared to think he was in love. Never would he be in love, and definitely not with you. Yet, deep inside he knew. He knew that if you were to stop one day he'd probably give in and blurt out these emotions he's been hiding from even himself. He wasn't ready for that, but more importantly, he wasn't ready to see you give up on him. He knew he was being illogical and annoying, not wanting to admit his feelings to return yours, but also not wanting you to move on to someone else. He knew he was being hopelessly selfish, but he just didn't know what to do. He had never been in love before.

The next day when you confessed your love for him all over again, like it was the first and this hadn't been going on for weeks now, the thought alone that he might harbour feelings for you flustered him to no extent. He didn't mean to act so cold and push you away, but he just didn't know how to act. He had no idea what to do, but he knew he'd rather die than show it on his face.

"Hey, Hyoga?" you asked, voice serious.

He stopped to listen and turned his head your way.

"I know you're not fond of me doing this every day, but is it really a nuisance to you? If it is, I'll stop..." you said carefully.

You were trying not to cry, he could tell. He's heard you every day so he knew you well enough to know that much. But this was exactly what he was dreading and he brought it upon himself. Why couldn't he act like he normally did? Why were you affecting the way he acted? Everything irritated him until it made so much sense.

He was in love with you, and there was no denying it anymore.

"Please be blunt about it, I'll feel better that way," you said, but then smiled immediately after. "I guess I don't have to worry about that with you, though. You don't know how to sugarcoat your words anyway."

He didn't know what to say and how to tell you how he felt, so it came out blunt and honest, just like you had asked for it to be. It wasn't the kind that he liked— it came out far too uncollected and in a fluster, but it was his genuine thoughts.

"I think I'm in love with you, and that scares me to death," he said.

"What?" you ask, not believing your ears.

"I will not be repeating that," Hyoga said and turned away. He genuinely believed you were going to run after him and squeal like you always do, but you didn't.

"You won't take it back, though?" You said quietly and he immediately turned around. He knew you were crying. He didn't mean to make you cry— that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"You just said to be blunt, so I was," he said. "Please don't cry."

"I am so in love with you," you said, looking straight into his eyes.

"Even after I made you cry?"

"These are the happiest tears I will ever cry."

#hyoga x reader #akatsuki hyoga x reader #hyoga akatsuki x reader #hyoga #akatsuki hyoga #hyoga akatsuki #dr stone x reader #dcst x reader #NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT ?#i am so sorry i will shut up #as per usual i literally CANNOT WRITE COLD MEAN RUDE HYOGA LIKE NO THAT IS NOT HIM #idk what hyoga you were reading but THE ONE I READ AND FELL IN LOVE WITH IS A SWEETHEART DEEP INSIDE #I AM SORRY I CANNOT CHANGE THIS #anyways my only concern is that i feel like all the things i write are starting to sound rhe same #like i have another blurb in my drafts thats practically complete but it sounds just like blurb 2 so idk if i should post it #i will have to figure something out #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING ILYSM #also hardly proofread i apologize #i will reread later and fix as i go

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kagoutiss · 1 year

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doodles for double agent sheik AU,,, ive decided there is a strong impa vs ganondorf dichotomy, also memes

#tloz oot #ocarina of time #impa #ganondorf #zelda #sheik #undercover sheik au #double agent sheik AU #idk what else to call it right now so thats what i will tag it with #impa and ganondorf are like. the 2 opposing influences in sheik’s life #impa is a symbol of predetermined fate and inevitability; ganondorf represents self-determination and rebellion #so like #sheikah sworn to protect hylia’s bloodline (zelda) by any and all means necessary VS man who literally tried to steal divine fate itself #sheik is at odds with a lot of different interpretations of fate while trying to figure out her own #impa and ganondorf are philosophically very different but also kind of irritating in similar ways #and. may have some history from during the war that adds to the animosity they already have #i cannot keep writing essays in the tags afhshddrjhfs bye

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mewtwo24 · 5 months

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Something about Hua Cheng's expression here is killing me--I know this is supposed to be a delicate moment of reassurance but the pure hater energy radiating off of him is just immaculate

#tgcf #hua cheng #xie lian #hualian #words cannot express how much I love hua cheng being a hater #hua cheng in this pic is that energy when you keep spamming the A button when an npc you don't like won't stop talking #like his face when lang qianqiu keeps going on and on about his parents meeting an untimely unjust and grisly end #is so 'it was hundreds of years ago and it wasn't even gege's fault for fucks sake grow up'#'leave my goddamn wife alone he raised you with love and diligence'#'you had your bloody revenge what more do you want. figure it out far away from us.'#spoken like a true ghost king who slaps eming every single time it expresses a single inconvenient emotion he has #every day i have to resist the urge to gush about hc he's just hilarious and peak every single time i love him #no notes just banger after banger after banger #that's the face of a man who was orphaned as a child and clawed his way through life to survive and keep his loved one alive + well #a bastion of unmoving strength for 800 years #unmoved by the whining of a young man born with everything and mourning the loss of his innocence way past his expiration date #10/10 hua cheng you've done it again #hc said 'oh? a traumatic life event? we have several dozens of those git gud'#and honestly i mean that with no malice i just feel like lang qianqiu is old enough to start parsing the world in a more nuanced way ;;;;;#as much as xl thought lying to him was the best outcome hc was right--the truth d o e s matter--and not just to absolve xl #its also about giving lang qianqiu closure and moving on. about qi rong facing the consequences of his actions #so much of what is wrong with the heavenly court is the obsession with maintaining appearances over being sincere #and so much of what hc adores about xl is that xl was never really interested in those empty words and empty sentiments #he truly wanted people to prosper and live well no matter the cost to himself

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feroluce · 12 days

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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.

So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!

But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.

According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.

He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!

So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.

Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.

And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.

And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.

Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.

Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.

Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...

One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.

Gepard doesn't sleep that night.

Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.

Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.

She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.

"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.

Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.

His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?

“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.

Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”

“A plan?”

“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.

“We don't even know-”

“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.

“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.

It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.

The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.

“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-

Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”

“No what?”

“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”

Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”

Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.

Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.

“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”

“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.

From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.

The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.

He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.

Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.

Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.

Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.

In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.

Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.

He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.

He only hopes that it's enough.