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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 1 month

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It's a Match! || poly!141 x Reader

[Chapter 22] || [Chapter 22.5] || [Chapter 24]

Pairing: 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1.1K~ cw: selfish john price, also john price is a hypocrite/liar? Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you? a/n: Their drinks + nicotine of choice is fully INSPIRED by this post by @ceilidho

Chapter 23: Kiss and Tell?

Simon, Kyle and Johnny sat outside the base, in the open air, each one of them engaging in their typical vices.

Simon with a milky breakfast tea and a nicotine patch, Johnny with a vape and an Ultra Blue Monster, Kyle with a weird green tea drink and a cigarette.

It’s way too early in the day for them to be doing that… But they are nonetheless.

They’re just having some downtime, talking to one another, shooting the shit… Not at all waiting for you to wake up and text them back, not at all.

John joins them soon after and sits beside them, carrying a cup of black coffee and one of his usual cigars. He sits down with a groan before kicking his legs up on the ledge of the outdoor table.

“Captain.” The men greet him as he lights his cigarette and grumbles a “Lads” in return.

“A word?” John says as he puffs from his cigarette, wet lips and tongue tasting the brown wrapping as he sucks in the smoke.

That attracts the attention of the other three, all of them glancing over with varying degrees of displayed intrigue.

“I’d like in on your little… agreement.” He says casually while exhaling the smoke and taking a sip of his pisswater-like coffee.

The lads look at each other, almost like silently begging each other to say something.

“Why, Captain?” Kyle ends up asking, leaning forward on his knees to glance at John.

“What Ghost said resonated with me.” He explains. “How I enjoyed my time with them as well.” He says simply.

“Right, but that’s different from datin’ them.” Ghost retorts as he sips from his milk tea, brown eyes locked onto John as if trying to read his intentions. “Can’t just force something that isn’t there.”

“I know that, Simon.” John retorts, his eyes boring into Simon’s harshly, causing a blonde eyebrow to raise in response. “But I wanted to talk with you lot about it before I go on pursuing them.” He explains.

Simon can tell John is hiding something, but he knows better than to address it in front of everyone. He knows Kyle and Johnny trust John blindly, and he doesn’t want to ween them of that with a harsh reality check.

“Well…” Ghost says with a shrug, fingers nudging at the nicotine patch on his shoulders while pretending to stretch his arms a bit. He’s been wearing them as an extra ‘pick me up’ for a decade now. “Not like we’re a… ‘closed’ relationship.” He explains.

“We’re not?” Johnny asks playfully. “Ye’re seein’ more people on the side, L.T.?” Johnny quips with a smirk on his lips while setting his Monster can down and taking a hit from his flavored vape.

“Yeah, you cheating on us?” Kyle jokes with a smirk.

“Oh, piss off, both of ya.” The blond retorts and rolls his eyes, sipping his tea once more, earning some laughs around the table. “Bloody insufferable, you are.” He adds, causing the younger sergeants to nudge each other while murmuring “He’s talking about you.”s to one another.

“What I’m trying to say is,” He tells John as he looks the older man in the eyes. “you shouldn’t be askin’ us about this. It’s all on them if they take you into the fold.” Simon retorts.

“Already did.” John replies, eyebrows raising as he takes another puff of his cigar. “Paid them a visit last night, explained what I felt about your situation, they eased a lot of my worries…” He trails off. He’s mostly saying the truth.

“Helped me realize maybe I was just… feeling left out.” He says. He conveniently forgets to mention he spent half of the night rearranging your guts. They don’t need to know that.

“No way, Captain, ye were jealous?!” Johnny teases and then bursts into laughter, for which Kyle joins him.

“Yeah, yeah, take the piss out of me all you want.” John quips and rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance, but hiding a little satisfied smirk behind the rim of his mug. He’s not going to deny it.

“Well, I’m fine with it… The more the merrier!” Soap says to Price with a chuckle and a wagging of his brows.

After a sip of his green tea drink, Kyle speaks: “Filthy pig.”, earning a nudge on his side.

“Haud yer wheesht! I weren’t the one balls deep in ‘em last week.” Soap retorts.

John’s attention is turned to the bickering Sergeants, having been unaware of that detail until now.

“I was just being a good friend!” Kyle retorts as he takes a drag of his nearly-burned-through cig. “Was shaggin’em for Simon.”

“Don’t drag me into this… I didn’t ask you to do that.” Simon retorts as he narrows his eyes at Kyle.

“Oh, please, as if your blood didn’t rush ‘down south’ before I even arrived-” Kyle continues his playful tease.

“Right. Ye’re speakin’ as if ye weren’t jerkin’ off the whole time, L.T.” Johnny adds.

“Wait, he was jerkin’ it?” Kyle asks with a gasp as he turns to his right side to glare at Johnny.

“Aye? Ye didn’t see? Ye were there!” Johnny tells Kyle.

“I was occupied, Johnny!” Kyle replies, though he looks like he’s a bit sheepish about saying it aloud.

“That ye were.” Johnny quips with a smirk. Kyle rolls his eyes. “Didn’t peg ye for a shaver.” He adds.

Kyle groans in frustration, even he getting a bit flustered/annoyed by Johnny’s teasing. He looks over at Simon, as if seeking out help only for the blond to say. “Don’t worry, Kyle, it’s good you shave. You’ve got a really pretty cock.”

“That he does.” Price slips in casually as he sips his black tea again, which causes the other men’s eyes to widen as they stare at him like he’s just said something unexpected.

“What? I’ve seen all of you naked.” John shrugs and smirks playfully under his mustache.

That leaves the other men sputtering a bit, exchanging glances, three pairs of eyes trying to wordlessly figure out if the others know that the Captain isn’t just hinting at ‘locker rooms’, ‘showers’ or ‘urinals’ for all three of them…

Trying to figure out if the others have figured out that all of them have been below the Captain at one point or another in the last decade.

John knows better than to let them figure it out, so he instead changes subjects: “So… when are you planning on making it official with them?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist (CLOSED! not adding anyone else, sorry!):

@daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe , @kariiiel , @ltbarnes , @irregulardongyoung , @spacelia , @hayleybarnesx , @cod-z , @frescoisnotinthemilitary , @leeeenistop , @lucienbarkbark

@severenswife , @enarien, @agoodmoviekiss , @l0lziez , @whos-fran , @greatstormcat , @openup-yourmind , @neoarchipelago , @sodavrr , @cutiecusp , @lilliumrorum , @c-nstantine , @kneelforloki , @comeonatmebruh , @codsunshine , @waiting-so-long , @captainquake42 , @gazspookiebear , @mynameismisty , @reap3erslov3 , @reaper-chan666 , @poohkie90 , @kitwithnokat , @stick-the-dumbass , @mothsdrabbles , @justanerd1 , @thesinsoflust , @thriving-n-jiving , @blckbrrybasket

#ikea writes 💚#it's a match! fic #cod modern warfare #cod fanfic #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #text story #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #cod smut #141 x reader

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lucretiaadventurezone · 5 months

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TAZ Dashboard Simulator 2 (Part 1)

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

be back soon 💋 im gonna go fight this guy for my relic

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

Ubmrella

#girl help #im trapped

(7 notes)

In your orbit!

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

↻ woe-is-johann

🤼 best-fantasy-prowrestler-tournament Follow

Round 4: Semi-Finals

Jeff Angel Propaganda:

from @.ango-mcdango: I <3 JEFF ANGEL HE’S SO COOL AND HE ALWAYS CALLS HIS DAD

Jess the Beheader Propaganda:

from @.bagnus-murnsides: jess literally has a dope ass axe

#jess sweep

(379 notes)

🚀 cap-n-port

↻ you-know-from-tv Follow

┌───────────────────┐

😎 Anonymous asked:

Your captain looks gnc as fuck

└───────────────────┘

👖 lactosewarrior5000

YOU'RE INSANE

#Thank you very much!

(29,399 notes)

🐱 Sponsored by Fantasy Costco

You Don’t Need All of Your Blood; Here’s Why

The Director doesn’t want you to know this…

🎻 woe-is-johann

↻ avi-the-ball-guy

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

cannonball system liveblog

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

ball

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

ball

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

other. ball

#babe we gotta get you a fidget toy or something #clearly you're getting bored at work

(23 notes)

📔 sheesh-creesh

↻ lup-da-lup Follow

💋 lesbian-orc-lover Follow

lucretia was 18 when the ipre mission left??!? she should've been at the club!!

✨ you-know-from-tv Follow

oh trust me one of the planes we went to was a giant disco and lucy was freakin it sensitive style day and night

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

real footage of lucretia at the club ↑↑

#I'm actually going to kill both of you #mutuals #queue never know what you'll find #reblogs

(35,095 notes)

❄️ neverwinter-heritage-posts

↻ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow

┌───────────────────┐

🚂 jerreeeeee asked:

is magnus burnsides gay??

└───────────────────┘

📖 dailycalebcleveland

why would you ask us, a caleb cleveland blog, this

#neverwinter heritage posts

(109,837,936 notes)

🧣 weaver-of-fate

↻ raven-queen-official

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

i loev my beaugifyl wife so muchnohmygod

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

where is smy wife i wanst to see herh

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

hiiiiiiiidjiiii omg shge. is here :D

#apologies guys we hung out with pan and she got FUCKED up #you know how poker nights get #wife tag

(74 notes)

🐦 7-bird-watcher

↻ not-a-shitty-wizard Follow

🪄 mage-guy-19274637 Follow

people who actually like bugs are absolute freaks

🕷️ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow

wrong! spider attack

🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️

#sent to me

(6,074 notes)

🌈 lucretiaadventurezone

#i simply had to make another one it was way too fun #can you spot all the references?#long post #fake tumblr post #taz balance #the adventure zone #a sydney original #taako #lup #barry bluejeans #davenport #istus #the raven queen #avi #johann #johavi #istus/the raven queen

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etherealinowrites · 9 months

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love on the court | lmh

jock leeknow x nerd female reader

✮ ❝ lee minho, a 23 year old senior at levanter uni is the jack of it all. he was the captain of the football team, the president of the dance club, the resident chef and a loving cat dad of three cuties. it was unfair how he seemed to just have it all! good looks, amazing physique, never ending charisma and irresistible charm. safe to say, he was the most popular guy at your college, known for being the heartthrob and heartbreaker of everyone attending. but when he crosses paths with the shy and smart y/n, who is walking around, trying her best to keep her 8.5 gpa intact, he cannot help but feel he’s been wearing a mask all along. and why does only y/n have the power to take it off him? drawn to the silent beauty, minho feels his priorities change and who knows, maybe they fall in love? one thing is for sure, he has a whole lot to prove if he wants to win her heart and have his own love on the court. ❞ ✮

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

➺ genre: university/college au, jock minho, athlete minho, shy girl x popular guy trope, strangers to lovers, typical college romance, nerd y/n, goody two shoes y/n and rule breake minho. cliche. CLICHE. so fucking cliche. it’s basically a 2000s girly movie in 2023 with lee minho in it. also some smau to make it fun.

➺ warnings: eventual smut, crude language- sweating and profanity, partying, clubbing, drinking and alcohol, mentions of drugs (none of the characters take them but they’re mentioned), causal sex, hooking up (i mean they’re all over age and in college so the usual), issues of mental health (anxiety and panic attack related to exams and assignments etc), minors dni

➺ schedule: whenever i can find time (i’m a full time uni student AND a part time intern AND i freelance so please try to understand🩵) . releases: october 2023.

➺ word count: in progress

➺ series taglist (don’t ask to be tagged if you’re a minor!!) : @endzii23 @you-make-skz-stay @tinyelfperson @nattisbored @jetblackbelle @helpsplease @lolos-hoes @noellllslut @thevampiregoth @astraystayyh @seo--changbin @jisunglyricist @felinows @she-wintersoldat @abbiestearsricochet @miin17 @laryisthinking @jisuperboard @theboyz-jacob @aishjah @skz-streamer @semi-semiisbae @httphans @urmomma0324

@hanjisunginc @moasworld @vixensss @realrintaro @ilovehimyourhonour @binnielovie @idkluvutellme @gnfelix @yandere-stories @berrybearbear @brooklynie @justletmehavethenamemarsomfg @phtogravi @yeetlixs @ddazed-lhs @skzwife-02 @moonlyah @babigriin @m111nho @boi-bi-ahaha @leeracha @hxraiiii @reidsfav @doyouknowbtsswag @skzwife-02 @dariangarcia @chlodavids

(taglist is CLOSED)

✮ ✮ ✮

🩵meet the characters pt1

🩵meet the characters pt2

✨dynamics 📱

->chapter one | the meet cute - 3.5K

you make acquaintance of your uni’s football team captain

->chapter two | the strike - 📱

the two friend groups have some heart to hearts

->chapter three | twitterati - 📱

the people of the uni are the biggest gossip mongers ever

-> chapter four | locker room talk - 5K

apparently the guys talked about you. oh, and minho wants to take you out. nothing big. (you were freaking out)

…..more to be added

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loverleah · 2 months

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in between | leah williamson

- “(s)he laughs at her eyes, at her smile, the glasses on her face.”

in which: you rewatch all your favourite moments with leah.

warnings: hella fluff, swear words

you were a footballer. an outstanding one, to say the least. but on the side you took up vlogging, where you would film and post your favourite bits and pieces of your life.

leah was a frequent participant in your videos, which had over a hundred thousand subscribers. your supporters seemed to love your content when she was included, so what once was your vlogging channel soon turned into a “leah williamson fan page” according to the blonde herself.

on one particularly boring thursday, you had decided to rewatch all of your vlogs (the ones leah were in). you had stayed home from training due to “coming down with a sickness”while leah left to see her physio. with nobody to speak to and nothing to do, this was the only way you could entertain yourself.

VLOG 16 | gingerbread disaster ft. leah

“leah! stop it!” you scolded, slapping the taller girls fingers away as she previously attempted to tickle at your stomach.

“what? you won’t let me love you ‘cause you’re bloody camera is on?” she said sarcastically, hand on her heart. “i’m hurt, baby. truly.”

you turned away from her and rolled your eyes at the camera, mumbling a few incoherent words to yourself. you were both dressed in christmas sweaters and had santa hats on, you two were building gingerbread houses for the video.

“seriously lee, i’m halfway through mine and you haven’t even started building yours!” you exclaimed after looking over leah’s shoulder only to see she had been eating the chocolate you had bought.

“chocolate is supposed to be eaten!”

VLOG 23 | lazy saturdays

“hey everyone. this is for those of you who think leah is all tough and scary and that she wears the pants in the relationship.” you whisper out to the camera, shifting your arm so it is pointed directly at leah.

the defender had her hair sticking out in all different places, her mouth open and full body laying on top of yours. it was early on a saturday morning, you both decided on a relaxed day at home the night before considering you two had nothing on.

“she does this all the time, by the way. always sleeping. not as energetic and serious anymore, ey?” you giggle to yourself, squishing leah’s cheeks.

this action seemed to wake the girl up, her eyes widened at the sight of your camera right in her face.

“fuck fuck! no, get rid! get rid of it!” she wails, hurriedly stumbling to her feet as she chased you out of your shared bedroom.

“that’s going on all my social media, lee!”

VLOG 25 | day with the arsenal

“okay, so this is how you hold it.” you explain to kyra, your best friend and national teammate, “make sure the camera is straight and facing you, so they can see clearly.”

“uh, okay.” the younger girl nods, fumbling with the camera in her hands.

“honestly ky, you’re hopeless!” leah teases, yelping as kyra reaches for her ponytail. “ah! help, y/n, help!”

you grab the camera from kyra’s hands, hysterically laughing while you film the two girls wrestle as beth and vic chant “fight, fight, fight!”

“poor alessia looks like she’s going to shit herself,” viv laughs. you smile as you shift the camera to face alessia. the blonde stood behind lotte, grimacing as leah and kyra continued to yell and shove each other.

“let go of me you rodent!”

“you first, willy bum!”

a series of “ooo’s” and “oh no’s” were heard as kim entered the locker room.

“what is going on?” she yells, eyebrows furrowed as the group fell silent. you hid your camera underneath cloe’s elbow as katie and caitlin made room for kim to walk through.

the older captain grabs both the girls on the ground by their ears as they complain and point fingers at each other.

“kyra tore my top!”

“you bit my finger!”

the rest of the arsenal girls stifle their laughs as both kyra and leah were dragged by their ears out of the locker room.

“time out for the rest of break!”

VLOG 28 | special 200k QNA ft. leah’s horrid cooking

“-so that’s why i wear number 24 on the back of my shirt! i also wanted a two digit number and it kinda just stuck up until now-“

you were cut off by a loud shriek and a loud crash. you were situated in your room, where you had a bowl full of printed questions next to you which leah had handpicked from the poll you had put up earlier. she had told you she would be in the kitchen, where she never usually is, so you assumed she would wait there for you and not actually cook up a storm.

“fuck!” you swore, hurriedly grabbing your camera behind as you ran downstairs.

you swore you could have died laughing at the sight before you. leah was dressed in your apron, which was two sizes too small, considering your height difference. her hands were covered in ginormous oven mitts, and her hair was sticking up in all different places. the kitchen, if even possible, was in a worse state. there was flour everywhere, and egg shells in the sink. the oven was wide open, revealing two layers of cake and a whole lot of smoke.

“turn the smoke alarm off, lee!” you giggled, slapping her ass while she reached up and turned it off.

“fuck, this wasn’t supposed to happen- are you honestly filming this right now?” the blonde exclaimes, making a move to grab your camera.

“oi! this new camera was expensive i will have you know!”

“oh, trust me i do, considering i payed for it!”

you roll your eyes and placed the camera down, grabbing a tea towel and swatting the remaining smoke out the open window.

“well, this was a nice surprise. thank you for trying, babe.” you smile, grabbing leah’s now bare hands in your own. the older girl leaned down and pecked your lips, brushing your hair out of your face.

“yeah, yeah,” leah’s smirk fell as she faced the camera, “shit, i forgot you were filming! don’t put that in!”

“oh put a rest to it, will you? let’s get that chocolate cake out of the oven before it turns a completely burnt black!”

“…that cake was supposed to be vanilla?”

you smiled as you added the remaining videos which included leah to a folder on your computer. little did the blonde know, you were going to play these at your wedding in three weeks.

A.N (AUTHORS NOTE)

this is my first ever fic, so please be nice 😭😭

i absolutely love leah fics and have literally read all of them so i decided to make some of my own content!!! requests are open!!!!

#arsenal wfc #leah williamson #woso x reader #lw6 #lionesses #woso fanfics #woso community #woso blurbs

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ma1dita · 7 months

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kiss his face with an uppercut

smutty part 2 here-> heavy hitter

words: 4k

summary: james potter is so attractive you could beat him to death with a bludger. james potter x fem!beater!reader not from gryffindor (for the plot!!)

warnings: none! james gets physically hurt multiple times by reader, multiple innuendos, enemies to lovers kinda, less serious lovey dove more sexual tension!!! probably not accurate quidditch gameplay

a/n: sorry for the hold up guys this took almost a month of on and off editing lmfao— this whole oneshot makes me think of the filipino word ‘gigil’– simply translating to cuteness aggression; i barely know jack shit about sports much less quidditch but this concept had me looking up quidditch rules to be able to provide– eat up kids

Y/S- sibling name

Y/H- house

(posted & edited 10/10/23)

—

Oh BROTHER, this guy STINKS! I mean, how has he not gotten walloped at least once during this godforsaken game? You suck your teeth at the sight of James flying around the pitch blowing kisses to his fan club and Lily Evans, who turns her nose up at the sight of him.

Merlin, when will this game end?

The Hogwarts Quidditch Semi-Finals of 1977 was a game to watch… until both teams stopped scoring what seemed like hours ago. Both Gryffindor & (Y/H) were at a stalemate, down some players due to injury and now, even lower team morale. Gryffindor team captain and chaser James Potter, notorious Marauder, and resident flirt, is not someone who likes to lose. He’s spent all season drilling his teammates, memorizing plays, and thinking of every outcome possible to ensure another Gryffindor victory. James’ affinity to be right takes precedence over anything, after all. But after beating down almost all of (Y/H)’s reserves, James was almost vibrating with confidence. He really doesn’t lose, not if he can help it.

“AND ANOTHER (Y/H) IS DOWN WITH AN INJURY— Team captain Whithall calls for a timeout as they reconvene on what to do next! Hope you’re still comfy in the stands, folks….” the student announcer grumbles.

There’s absolute chaos on the field, and like birds scuffling over a piece of bread, (Y/S), the team’s last good beater is floating on a gurney, ready to be transported to the Hospital Wing.

“Oh, here comes trouble…” Sirius murmurs, smacking James on the back to grab his attention.

You jump down from the stands to check on (Y/S), and James is too busy reveling in the idea of winning the goddamn semi-finals that he doesn’t notice you putting Quidditch gear on.

“Easy win from here on out, Pads! The little lady’s just checking the damage. Not important,” he chortles before Sirius physically grabs his head to face the girl walking towards him, currently storming across the turf to meet him and his team.

“I’m subbing in,” you say, angry at how dirty Gryffindor’s been playing, and angry that you even have to play in (Y/S)’s stead.

“Sweetheart, this game is for serious, you know that right?” James says a bit dumbly with a furrowed brow. Both of you are head to head, and James sees the twitch in your eye as you cross your arms. Hot air is seeping out of your pores but James’s lip simply quirks up in intrigue. You’re someone he hasn’t noticed before, and the only thing running through his mind besides winning the game is that you’re really pretty. But then again, he’s always found angry women to be attractive, in retrospect.

“Yeah, for the actual cup, not…for Sirius… It’s the wrong time to joke, innit?” Sirius says to break the ice, noticing the palpable tension between your glares. Your faces are inches away from each other and he’s not sure if you two are going to fight or kiss, but it makes him grimace all the same.

“Who do you think (Y/S) practices with? Unlike you and your friends, I know when to take things seriously,” You say through gritted teeth.

“She’s legit, Potter. Got added to our reserves last week.” Whithall pipes up, ready to get back to the game. The crowd has been weathered down after hours of anticipation, and they want to see the end of it, no matter the outcome.

“Much to my surprise,” you grumble, elbowing the authority in the form of a teenage boy not much older than yourself. You should’ve known your sibling was looking a little too happy as they got floated off the pitch on a gurney.

“Then let’s play. Don’t hurt yourself, sweetheart.” James says condescendingly, floating away on his broomstick like it’s a walk in the park, but the way you’re slapping the bat against your palm is getting Sirius a tiny bit nervous for his precious countenance. The whistle blows and the game resumes.

“A SURPRISE ADDITION (Y/N) JOINS HER HOUSE AS BEATER! Gryffindor better watch out for her swi—” You slam the bludger in James’s direction and it hurtles toward him so fast that he almost folds in half, barrel-rolling on his broom to dodge it. The move makes Sirius and a few of their other teammates gasp to see James scrambling back onto his broom.

“Oops! Looks like I missed.” you deadpan, balancing midair as you whack another one where it rebounds off the Gryffindor seeker and back towards James, hitting both of them in the gut.

“THIS GIRL’S GOT AN ARM ON HER! Though might I say her hits look a bit targeted…” The commentator says worriedly, and everyone in the crowd is leaning in their seats trying to get a better view.

“Merlin, are you trying to kill me woman?” he yells in outrage.

“I’m trying to finish the game. Your big head is in the way,” you say with a straight face as Sirius bats towards you, and you spin on your broomstick without shifting your posture. The smile on your face as you taunt him should be considered criminal, but he’s looking at you in a new light.

Yeah, now he’s paying attention. The other Gryffindor players can’t seem to figure out your next move and you bat another bludger towards Potter’s extremely large target of a head, and all of a sudden he’s freefalling through the air as his teammates fly to catch him, one by one. His nose still makes impact with the ground before Sirius catches by the ankle like Achilles taking a dip in the River Styx.

“AND (Y/H) HAS CAPTURED THE SNITCH! Good job to their Seeker, Appleby! Congratulations on a job well done, so that we can all finally go home.” The commentator cringes as McGonagall swats at him to leave the podium.

Who even is she, taking over the game and stealing his win like that?

He’s walking up from the sidelines with a bloody nose, going to shake Whithall’s hand and you’re standing behind him, a malicious grin plastered between your rosy cheeks, windswept and almost ethereal while he looks like he got flattened by a hippogriff. Fuck, she’s pretty. You look like you floated down from the heavens, and by the looks his team gives him, he may have just crawled out of the earth.

“Congrats,” he grumbles, turning to you. Really pretty. It’s even worse that you’re devastatingly stunning up close— with sweat glistening on your brow and a pearly white smile, he takes a good moment to really look at you and memorize the flutter of your eyelashes. He’s unsure if he’s concussed or maybe it’s his astigmatism, but there are actual stars in his vision as he peers down at you. Your confidence is actually kind of sexy.

“You look…um…you ride well.” He stutters, shaking his head from his personal reverie.

“Excuse me?” you say, your little mouth agape in what he hopes is not disgust. He looks pathetic, blood sopping down to his jersey as he looks at you like he’s only seeing you for the first time, acknowledging you closely. Something about seeing him flail makes you crinkle your nose as you stifle a grin.

“I mean…Um…” Damn.

Sirius pulls his best friend away before you can bite back your laughter, all of your teammates leading you away to celebrate.

“Mate, what the shit was that? Are you alright in the head?” Sirius says, and if James’ nose wasn’t already bleeding he was going to slap him silly.

“Just…Didn’t see that coming…” he mumbles, and his mind, along with all of Gryffindor is in disarray as they walk back to their tower. He’s got a lot of thinking to do on what his next move will be.

—

James Potter goes through life in three methodical ways: 1.) creating a strategy, 2.) making a scene, 3.) and dragging his friends into it— in that particular order, every single time.

Now notice how considering consequences is not part of said process.

His ego wouldn’t let him rest after a girl, much less a very pretty one that he’d never noticed before—beat him at what he does best; quidditch! In fact, the next few nights were void of sleep and filled with thoughts of you. The way your hair looked so soft in the sunlight, how your lip turns almost Gryffindor red when you bite it in concentration, and maybe how your delicate hands would look as they tightly grasp onto his bat...ahem…your quidditch bat. Some dirty delusions aside, if looks could kill, he’d be dead seven times over, but honestly? He’d probably thank you for it.

James’ new mission was to figure you out, and if that was his mission, it meant it was the rest of the Marauders’ too. For the sake of winning the Cup, of course. That’s what he tries to tell himself until his mates catch him ogling you again at breakfast.

“So what is it with you and girls that inflict you nothing but pain and humiliation?” Remus muses, as the Marauders watch James laugh at a joke you told your friends at the (Y/H) table across the Great Hall. He looks at you like someone who stares at the sun, squinting and burning himself as he ponders on why he’s unable to look away.

James fumbles a response, shoving Remus as they all laugh. “Listen, I’ve got a bit of a masochistic streak, Moony. Just…There’s something about her…”

Your friends are pointing at him now, and as you turn to meet his eyes, you lift a brow inquisitively and flip him off. Sirius’s face pulls up in shock at James’s growing smile at the interaction as he mumbles, “Maybe you’ve met your match, Prongs…”

The boy pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, anything to try to see you clearer as he leans over to put his head in his hands, sighing dreamily. His friends are not as easily amused.

“A match made in heaven, you reckon?”

—

“Match made in hell, more like!” You spit, almost choking on your scrambled eggs at your friends’ insinuations. Your back is as stiff as a board, shoulders tight at the notion of you ever liking James Potter triggering your fight or flight response. When it comes to someone as pompous as him, only the word fight comes to mind.

“Oh come on, love… He’s popular, funny, and quite handsome…It’s James freaking Potter we’re talking about!” your roommate gushes, but you're not the least bit impressed.

“Is that supposed to do anything for me? I can think of a few F words that middle initial can stand for…” Eyes rolling, you peek back at the Gryffindor table to see said boy wiggling his fingers at you teasingly until he accidentally smacks Peter in the face with his toast. Idiot.

“Only hot people get away with stupid shit. I mean look at the four of them!” you continue, gulping down the rest of your coffee. “Potter’s the worst out of all of them though. Big ass head must compensate for a lot of things." You say, shaking your head at your friends.

"And yet, here you are, talking about him for the fourth time this morning," your roommate replies, smirking. " You’ve been Potter crazy since you helped us beat Gryffindor in the semi-finals! Are you sure you don't have a crush on him?"

"No!" you say too quickly, too loudly, that the shrill noise of your voice makes your ears hurt and the shit-eating grins on your friends’ faces reflect how desperate that came off. You slump onto the table, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“You wanna kiss him, don’t you?” they tease, and you push away their puckering faces as you scoff, “With an uppercut, maybe!” Almost makes you want to stomp over there and wipe the stupid look off his face…and maybe sit on his lap. You run your fingers through your hair in frustration. All this aggression really needs to go somewhere, but unfortunately, James Potter’s lap is the only destination you have in mind.

“He’s just really punchable. I get so annoyed by the sight of him I just want to… ugh!” you groan, your hands shaking as you try to convince them (or yourself). Your friends cackle at the sight of you pretending to squeeze his curly-topped, mothball-filled head, but your brain changes course and you imagine what it’s like to hold his hand. Your fingers flex cautiously at the idea, wondering what his touch would feel like. Grabbing a glass of water to cool your thoughts, your peripherals reveal he’s still staring at you like you make night turn into day. His gaze is searing, and as you put your lips around your straw, he licks his lips slowly. Shit.

—

Availability bias is one hell of a mindfuck. If only they taught psychology at this magic school, maybe the wizarding world would have way fewer problems and more people would be straightforward and not.. Dead. James decides he can categorize his life now as before you, and after you.

Before you, well… he honestly wasn’t even sure if you were a student at Hogwarts until he saw you marching down the pitch, but now… You’re everywhere. He can spot your voice in a crowded hallway, and who was going to tell him you’ve had three classes with him this whole term? Even down to when he shuts his eyes, he’s convinced his eyelids are branded with the imprint of your silhouette. Every conversation he strikes with you ends with you laughing at him, and he’s unsure if that’s a step up or down from the many boisterous rejections from Lily Evans over the years. He sort of wishes you’d laugh with him, and do a number of other things, (heck he’s got a list of ideas he’s wanked off to), and well… His soul is tightly wound with thoughts of you and Godric, listen to this guy…. maybe the boys were right…. Maybe he really does need to get laid.

It’s funny how fate works, two people who’ve barely interacted in the past six years at Hogwarts are now paired together for a History of Magic essay worth 20% of the term grade. You’re trying to get this done as fast as possible, he notices, mapping out ideas and trying to discuss how to piece it all together, yet James does everything but that to get you to pay attention to him. He fills your head with mundane little questions, asking you what your favorite fruit is to the childhood bedtime story your parents told you as a kid.

“What’s your middle name, Potter?” You muse, finally entertaining him after endless chatter. His eyes trail to the exposed skin of your collarbones as you stretch in your seat, and well… you don’t look as menacing as you always do but did it seriously have to be this question? He scratches the back of his head, silent for the first time in the two hours you’ve been trying to craft this essay for the sake of both your grades.

“What? I can’t just go around calling you James Fucking Potter. Spit it out, you know too much about me already.”

He clears his throat, a blush creeping up his neck. “It’s… that’s an intimate question, love… I…”

Your laughter at his response makes his senses shut down. “Oh, so it’s bad. What is it, Franklin? Fabio? Come on, I won’t bite.” A part of him wishes you would, your face equally flushed and so close to him right now, almost leering at him for an answer. It’d be easy to just lean over…

“Fleamont.”

Your lips quirk, until they pucker like you’ve guzzled a lemon. The blush on your cheeks intensifies, and the sound explodes out of you. You laugh so loudly Madam Pince kicks you both out of the library, James carrying both your knapsacks, a hand around your waist as you rush out of there. Your body is firm under his touch, pupils unfocused and dilated looking at him now that you know his dirty little secret. James thinks that if you keep looking at him like that, hell, you can call him anything you want.

—

Fleamont.

What a prick. A really attractive, clueless prick. The memory makes you giggle as you get ready for the Quidditch Cup and your team charges out onto the field to face Gryffindor again, as you’ve both advanced to the finals. He’s not as much of an asshole as you originally thought. It’s undeniable that something pulls you towards him, whether it be hormones, concern, or the fact that it’s actually adorable the way he writes his mother back weekly, or admirable how he moved Sirius out of Black Manor himself last year. Maybe it’s endearing the way he goes out of his way to make first-years smile or heartwarming how even Filch can’t find reasons to hate him. The golden boy. You get it now, why people get trapped in his web, and why many are unwilling to leave.

You pass him outside the locker rooms, bumping shoulders as he smiles almost bashfully. The golden boy, loudmouth, ball of energy is reduced to a nervous pile of teenage ineptness at the sight of you, every time. You could take him (not in a fight). In an actual fight, maybe you could land a few solid hits before his nice muscly arms hold you do—

“Ready to finish this, darling?”

Your eyes refocus when his hand nudges the small of your back, right above your hip. “Mhmm,” you clear your throat, “Ready to lose, Potter?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He moves closer, slowly backing you into the wall.

“Eyes on the prize Potter, I’m in this to win it.” You say, looking at the closing distance between both your chests. James nods, not taking his eyes off of you for a moment, even when the announcer calls out the imminent start of the game.

“WELCOME TO THE HOGWARTS QUIDDITCH CUP OF 1977 GRYFFINDOR VS. (Y/H)! I hope you are all excited as our last match between these teams was quite thrilling at the end of it!” The announcer says, hyping up the roaring crowd as your teams parade onto the pitch.

His eyes are still on you when he shakes Whithall’s hand and the whistle blows. It’s intense, and makes you feel like you’re burning, even if the wind is blowing like crazy today. You bat the bludgers toward anything red on the field that even dares to move toward your teammates. James won’t stop staring at you, and you both lock eyes across the pitch.

“What? Flirt with me later, Potter, I’m trying to win!” you yell.

He’s got you transfixed, and it’s crazy how his timing is always wrong. You bat the bludger away from your captain but don’t notice James flying towards you to respond as you give it your hardest swing, making the impact against his huge target of a head all the more painful.

Holy shit, did you kill him?

He keels off his broom like a shot bird and then he’s falling, and you’re the one chasing the Gryffindor chaser as he flaps his arms like the idiot you know he is as you push forward to catch him before he splits his skull open.

“I’msofuckingsorryJamesareyouokay?” You blurt out as you land, soft hands moving over his broad chest and quickly swelling face. He’s wearing that stupid grin again, and you think you may have finally broken Gryffindor’s team captain.

“You know my name?” he sighs happily, comfortable in your lap and maybe it’s the brain damage you’ve caused him or the way his glasses are bent beyond repair but you will every magical predecessor you can think of to stop you from punching him in the face right now.

“Are you fucking dense?” You scream, shaking your head, and jostling him as his arms try to reach out to swipe the hair away from your face.

“Must’ve hit him so hard you knocked his filter loose..” Sirius muses after he lands next to you two on the grass.

“POTTER’S TAKEN A HIT FROM (Y/H) and it doesn’t look good ladies and gents! Gryffindor calls a timeout to check on their captain!” The announcer calls out, and there are so many eyes on the two of you as James is simply giggling like a prepubescent schoolboy. Fuck, you’ve maimed the golden boy.

“Y’know, sweetheart. You’re…really sexy when you’re on top of me like this,” he says breathily, and you really can’t hit him, so you jab Sirius in the gut instead when he tries to laugh at his best friend’s stupidity.

—

James wakes up in the hospital wing with a blinding headache until someone gently pulls the curtains closed, stroking the hair off his sweaty forehead.

“Poppy you always take such good care of me…” he mumbles. A punch lands on his chest and his eyes rip open, not expecting to see you at his bedside.

“Idiot,” you mutter. “You’re always in my way and now look, you almost got yourself killed and it would’ve been my fault! How dare you, James…” The red is crawling up your neck like a brushfire as you berate him, and he takes it with a grin as you jabber on, putting his arms behind his head.

“Were you worried about me, love?” James smiles cheesily, catching your arm at its half-hearted attempt to slap him across the face.

“I was not. Stubborn people like you are hard to kill. I’m more annoyed that I can’t morally punch your face in since you have a concussion. Madame Pomfrey’s already healed your cheekbone.”

“That you broke,” he says matter-of-factly, taking a chance to kiss the palm of your hand. This concussion is working like a bottle of Felix Felicis. It’s endearing to see you taking care of him, whether you like it or not (even with the punches he’s sure it’ll come with).

“You’re sick in the head.”

“For you. I was trying to come tell you that I never took my eyes off the prize, but then of course you bludgeoned my face in before I could get sweet on yo—”

Your lips crash down on his, and nothing about it is delicate. It’s a month’s worth of yearning, imaginations coming to fruition as he grabs the back of your head to deepen the embrace. Your lips on his are hot and heady, and he could be easily convinced that he’s stuck there, cauterized to the shape of you.

“I know. I could feel you watching.” You breathe into his mouth, leaning up on his chest. His lips chase up again to meet yours, biting down on your bottom lip as you groan. He might like that noise better than the sound of your laughter. It’ll be fun to find out.

“Who won the Cup?”

Laughter spills out of your red, kiss-swollen lips as you pat his cheek gently, fingers grazing over his healed cheekbone.

“Not Gryffindor. But listen closely James, if you be a good boy and get past this concussion, I’ll make up for it by showing you how well I ride…”

He likes the sound of that, Quidditch Cup be damned. You see, James Potter never loses, ladies and gentlemen, not really—and well... there’s always next year.

—

“I like the way

you look at me

like you are

going to talk to me

or devour me

and I am fine with either.”

-N.R. Hart

taglist: @jsjcue

#made by ma1dita ♥︎#marauders x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #marauders era #james potter x you

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capnseriouslycanadian · 1 year

Text

in which jonathan toews is, and always has been, the best captain (and person) in the league, and the old marrieds are tasked with finding fun activities for the children (via x)

#this is so wholesome #okay but #why did i write this like a crappy fic summary lmao #maybe not everything is awful #:’)#1988 #jonathan toews #patrick kane #luke richardson #oh captain my captain #2022/23 szn #from twitter #first things first fuck ben p*pe

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lessi-lover · 5 months

Text

cleats and kisses II a.russo ~

23★ ~ a.russo

"any new love interests, y/n?" caitlin teased mercilessly, playfully knocking you out of your lunge position. "yeah, got your eye on any defenders?" steph chimed in, her mischievous grin a perfect compliment, following her australian teammates teasing.

katie, with an unimpressed scoff, threw her head back against her locker, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend’s foolish comments. "oh, absolutely. y/n's just so, so good at finding love." she retorted before you could respond, her voice laced with sarcasm, sending a pointed look your way from across the changing room.

katie’s sisterly overprotectiveness, always a source of amusement amongst your friends, even though it was extremely infuriating at times. an exasperated sigh fell from your lips, lifting your tired limbs off the floor and moving to sit with your sister, desperately trying to block out the girls’ relentless banter. resting your head on her shoulder, you let your eyelids gently fall, seeking comfort in your sister’s familiar presence.

across the room stood the english captain. leah who was always the most observant in a crowded room, who sensed your unease at the comments and shot you a comforting glance. she had known you for years, one of your closest friends from your early footballing days and instrumental in finally getting you signed to Arsenal. it was safe to say she could read you like an open book.

in your previous relationship, katie had managed to intimidate your then-girlfriend after finding you both having a nice early morning breakfast, in town before training. you could not understand at all why the incident had caused such a stir; you were fully clothed and what you were doing was completely innocent.

katie’s protectiveness, something she had picked up from your older siblings. it was as if she didn't want to see you grow up, reluctantly clinging to the image of her smaller, younger sister. yet, you knew the possessiveness stemmed from a place of only love.

"i think i'll turn in for the night, busy day tomorrow," you announced, referring to the game and press conference you had been warned about at this morning's meeting. offering a tired smile to your teammates and sister, you bid your farewell. "see you at breakfast, katie," you added before slipping quietly out of the door. “7 am sharp, don't be late," you heard your sister’s loud accent barrel through the door. you shook your head, making your way up the elevator and towards your room.

however, instead of heading to your room, shared with lia and her girlfriend, you found yourself walking down the corridor to somebody else's room, ‘better than third-wheeling’, you thought. you gently knocked a secret pattern on the wooden door, hoping not to reveal your location to roaming players and staff members. lord knows the amount of times you have almost been caught sneaking into the blonde's room when traveling.

the lock clicked noisily, and the door flowed open, revealing your exhausted looking girlfriend, still dressed in her training kit. "why haven't you showered missy?” you teased the blonde, stepping inside the doorway, making sure to quickly peck her soft lips. the blonde placed her hand behind your ear, desperately trying to deepen the kiss. her lips moved hungrily against your own.

you tapped her waist, finding it difficult to breathe, before pulling away completely. "i was waiting for you to show up, figured that with your smell you would need a second shower,” alessia teased, a cheeky grin adorning her soft face. "well aren't you a pleasure.” she chuckled back at your remark, tugging you close into her larger frame.

"are you feeling alright?" the blonde asked, noticing the unmissable tenseness on your face. you quickly nodded, making sure to look the girl in the eyes. "mhmm, the girls were just prying on my love life in the changing room."

she kissed into your shoulder comfortingly, placing open mouthed kisses wherever she could. letting go of your waist, she made her way to the bathroom. your lips turning upwards, as you watched her clumsily trip over a pair of loose football boots and turn to check if you had seen, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

while she showered, you picked up a book on her bedside table, carefully placing your finger by the girl's last page. page 10. the book helped pass time until she returned, her short, damp hair falling onto her cream coloured robe, smelling of lavender and rosemary. "what are you up to, love?" she asked, putting an old ireland jersey she had stolen from you, catching you engrossed in the book she had abandoned a couple nights ago.

you looked up from your book and grinned, turning it so she could see. "trying to understand why on earth you thought you would enjoy this book," you replied. “trying to impress you with my reading skills”. she said, in a serious manner. “clearly.” you responded.

alessia chuckled, moving on top of you and tossing the book out of your hands. “i. love. you.” she admitted, each word accented with a short, but sweet kiss on your lips. you blushed, embarrassed at how 3 common words could make your stomach flip. “i love you too, less.” you responded, with a small yawn into her chest. you snuggled closer, burying your head into her neck. letting the world fade, as you drifted off to the blondes soft snores.

but the peace didn't last too long. the next morning, you were both jolted out of your peaceful rest by an alarming pounding on the hotel door. "open the door!" an angry shout from outside the hotel door. "fuck, its katie," you cursed, recognising an identical accent to your own, jumping out of the soft sheets, whilst alessia answered her clearly fuming teammate.

"katie?" alessia greeted your angry sister, her mind racing rapidly for some kind of excuse. "breakfast finished a long time ago. your alarm must’ve not gone off.” “my sister wasn't at breakfast either, and she isn't in her room. got somethin to do with it?" katie questioned, with an irritated look.

"no clue," alessia replied as soon as the girl finished, possibly a little too quick to be innocent. "sorry, katie. i'll be down in a minute, i don't know what happened, i must have forgotten to set my alarm.” alessia answered frantically, shutting the door in the irish girl’s face.

you both let out a sign of relief, looking at each other in disbelief at the narrow call. "that was close. you shouldn't have fallen asleep with me last night," alessia stated, concern etched in her features as she saw a moody katie conversing outside with a tired vic from the small doorhole.

"i know, i'm sorry, i should have been more careful," you confessed, the disappointment carved heavily in your voice. "i'll catch up with you before the interviews, less." with a quick hug you attempted to escape her room unnoticed.

however, your effort to slip away was foiled almost immediately. as you left alessia’s room, trying to blend in with the morning crowd, you encountered katie in the hallway, her gaze sharpening as she observed the room you had exited. "why the fuck are you coming out of alessia’s room?" she questioned, her tone a mix of confusion, anger and concern.

"katie, please let me explain," you pleaded, quickly moving to grab her before she could walk away. “you better start explaining, now!” she yelled, and if you thought katie couldn’t get angrier than a game against manchester city, you were certainly eating your words now.

“she’s my girlfriend”, a soft voice behind you spoke. turning around you were faced with the very blonde you had spent your night with. “oh really?” katie challenged. “yes, we’ve been together for 6 months.” alessia spoke timidly, barely above a whisper. “how could you two keep this a secret?” feeling the weight of the situation, you took a shaky breath, trying to find the right words to explain that you had been secretly dating her teammate.

"katie, i didn't mean for you to find out like this," you began, your voice cracking between words. "alessia and i, we met before i signed here. it was before we even started talking about a possible transfer. i never thought we would keep it a secret, but things got complicated, and i didn't know how to tell anyone."

katie's expression softened slightly, taking a short breath before she spoke. "but why keep it a secret from me?" she asked, her voice now more composed, eyes still glossy. "i was afraid," you admitted, looking into her soft eyes, hoping she could see the sincerity in yours. "i was afraid of losing you. i know it's not an excuse, and i should have been honest with you about alessia from the beginning. i've messed everything up, and i'm really sorry."

alessia stepped forward from behind you, her eyes pleading with katie to forgive you. "i'm sorry too," she said, her voice quivering. "between my transfer, australia and all the drama with me leaving united, i didn't give y/n the space to tell you about us." katie sighed, her anger slowly settling down, as she processed both your confessions.

after a brief silence, katie's expression softened, and a small grin tugged at the corners of her lips. "well," she said, her tone lighter now, "i can't say i expected you two to get together, but i’m glad it’s less and not somebody else. if you're happy together," she continued, her smile growing bigger, "then i'm happy for you." it was a moment of relief for both you and alessia.

“whoo!” “they finally broke it to katie!” voices could be heard celebrating. from around the corner in the hallway, steph, caitlin, leah, and lia appeared, cheekiness displayed on all their faces, giggling that they’d successfully stayed hidden whilst you revealed the truth to your older sister. “how long have you been standing there?” you questioned your friends.

“long enough to hear your beautiful love confession.” lia answered dramatically, throwing her hands in the air for emphasis. her blondie - leah shaking her head at her girlfriends usual antics. “at least we don’t have to go through the awkwardness of telling you all now”, alessia answered before you could. everyone muttered in agreement.

“i guess i can do this now then,” you walked up to the blonde, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and leaning in. you gently pressed your lips against her own, her arms coming to wrap around your waist, pulling you impossibly close. her lips lingered on yours, a warm feeling arising in your heart. alessia gently unwraps her arms and releases you from her tight hold, smiling down at you sweetly.

“gross, next time you're going to swap saliva with each other, give us heads up.” your sister fake gags. “i guess I can do this now, lessibaby!” said caitlin pulling in steph to mock you, imitating your earlier kiss with her aussie teammate. “hey! kisses are reserved for me only.” katie yells, pulling her playful girlfriend into a bruisingly passionate kiss.

“on the pitch please girls, simple field runs.” jonas interrupts the couple, looking down at the floor, face red, obviously embarrassed at the walk in. a couple “yes jonas’.” and “yes coach'." floated around the changing room, jonas nodding and leaving in a hurry. the girls quickly got ready and headed out to the pitch. your sister wraps an arm around your blonde, pulling her along.

“c'mon less, we have lots to talk about.” your sister says intimidatingly. your girlfriend sending you a ‘help me’ look as she was dragged out of the room.

you finished tying your laces, shaking your head, knowing katie was going to absolutely grill the girl until she gave up trying to scare her off. “let's go, cait.” you spoke, picking up your ‘basically’ sister off the floor, her mouth still wide open in shock, bewildered at the unexpected kiss from your sister. shaking her until she focussed you began to make your way out of the changing room, caitlin using your body as a walking stick.

suddenly your phone rang. ‘chatterbox’, your phone read. it was your youngest (and favourite) sister - lauryn. “hey, what's wrong, sweetheart, I'm in training?” you asked, picking up the call. “are you actually dating Alessia? i know you’ve been there for a couple months, but jeez.” she blurted out.

“katie alison mccabe, get your arse over here right now, or so help me i swear- ”.

#arsenal wfc #katie mccabe #alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo x y/n #steph catley #caitlin foord #arsenal women #lauryn mccabe

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whorekneecentral · 6 months

Text

As Red As My Stockings

Trent Alexander Arnold x Physio!Fem!Reader

Warnings: takes place in the '23 season (after the newcastle match but imagine it to be in November or something so it fits the timeline lmao), andy and ibou are so annoying towards trent, virg is over them, probably incorrect physio treatments, one teeny tiny hint to medical role play for like 0.2 seconds, penetrative sex (p in v), creampie, trent is sooooo !!

Word Count: 2,519

Author's Note: our vice captain >>> anyways, this one was a bit random. hope y'all enjoy it :))

merry smutmas series

Trent’s crush on the pretty physio is well known amongst the players. They make sure to help him fulfill one last Christmas wish before you all head home for the holidays.

Liverpool FC had been your home for the last few years and in your time there, quite a few players had come and gone through your room. All of them were wonderful and talented and charming in their own ways but no one beat the boys you had now.

If you could give them a middle name, it'd be troublesome.

It's Tuesday morning and the boys were returning for training. Liverpool had played Newcastle on Sunday, leaving the boys with another 2 points added onto the board but were left without their captain after a red card.

Currently, their captain was laid on the bench in your physio room, the rest of the boys scattered through the training room - you can see and hear their noise through the glass panels that separated the two rooms.

"I don't even know how I did it," Virgil tells you, watching as you massaged the spot before he could join the rest of the boys.

"I'm sure you must have over worked it during your shouting match with the ref," you glanced up at the man, there's a smile on his face even though he's rolling his eyes.

Before you finish with the captain, the door to the physio room swings open. The younger players had a habit of hiding in there to avoid training, especially when they knew Virgil wasn't in.

In comes Andy with his arm over Trent, squeezing the vice captain in a headlock. Ibou comes running in after them.

They weren't aware that their captain was currently in there with you.

"Oh hey skip," Andy shouts to his friend, struggling to hold Trent in place. The man struggles, pushing Andy away from him when he realizes Virgil was in there. Ibou blocks the doorway, stopping Trent from passing.

You were taping Virgil's knee, smoothing the tape as he looked over at the three of them. "Why are you in here? Don't bother y/n, she's working unlike some people," he shoots them a glare, making you laugh.

"All done, big man." You step back, picking up the roll of tape. You look over in the direction of the other players in the room. "What can I help y'all with?"

Andy says, "Trent strained something in his thigh." Trent was glaring at Andy; if looks could kill.

You nod towards the empty chair, putting away the stuff you used on Virgil before turning back to him. "Need anything else?"

"No," Virgil shook his head, still laying on the bench as he scrolled through his phone. "I'll head out in a few."

"Okay," you smiled, walking over to where Trent now begrudgingly sat. Ibou was snickering in the corner of the room, leaning on the wall by the door.

"Ibrahima," you called, the man freezes at the use of his full name. "Do you need something ?"

"Just water," he says, rushing off to the fridge to grab a bottle.

Andy's got a hand over his mouth, covering his giggles. "Don't start before I kick you out too, Andrew." You look over at him and he presses his lips together, sliding his fingers across it and turning it; locking it up so he doesn't make noise.

Trent sat quietly, so still that you almost missed his chest raising and falling with each breath.

"Which one?" you asked, crouching in front of him. His brows furrow, looking at you confused. "Which leg?" You clarified and he raised his left leg slightly.

You nod, "can you pull your shorts up a bit?"

Ibou and Andy were giggling behind you and you can't help but look over at him, the two of them shutting up, or at least attempting to.

Turning your attention back to Trent, you touch his thigh carefully, working your fingers over the muscle and the man groans. You glance up at him, "there?"

"Your hand's cold," he says and you move your hand away. "Sorry," you say, rubbing your hands together to try and warm them up.

You put your hand back carefully, not wanting to freeze him again but when he doesn't complain, you find yourself moving your hand along his thigh to find the strain. Your fingers were soft against his skin, Trent was thinking of what other injuries he could fake to come in and see you, to have you feel him up.

"Trent?" You called, pulling him from his thoughts, "where exactly is the strain? I can't feel anything."

His cheeks are red, he's been caught. "Uh-"

"Look!" Andy's hunched over laughing and Ibou's leant back laughing right beside him. "His face is red!"

"Shut up!" Trent grumbles, looking away from you and you bite back a smile before Virgil speaks, standing up. "Yeah, both of you shut up and go back to training," he tells him, shooing them from the room.

He smiles at you, nodding as he ushers a laughing Andy and Ibou out of the room. You turn your attention back to the vice captain. "So the strain?"

"I mean.." he starts and you hum, waiting for him to go on as you stand back up. "It was more of a tweak than a strain. "

"Of course," you nod, knowing he was bullshitting you.

This wasn't the first time he had landed himself in your physio room with some non-existent injury. Trent thought you didn't know about his crush on you but you did; if the players did one thing when they came in, it was gossip - especially amongst themselves when they think you aren't paying any attention to them.

You reach for his shorts, pulling them back into place. "Well if this tweak comes back, come see me. I'll treat it." You tell him, a smile on your face.

Trent stands, nodding. "Thanks, y/n."

"Anytime, Trent."

He was off to training once again but you called for him, stopping him in his tracks. "Next time you wanna see me, just come by. No need to bring the whole squad with you." You give him a look, the man's face red as he nods, walking out of the room.

The afternoon rolled into the evening, the boys finished up their training and whoever needed to be checked out stopped by but for the most part, the place was empty.

You had stayed back after the rest of the staff had left, putting up some decorations for the holidays. You're up on the chair, taping the garland to the wall when someone knocks on the door.

"Hey," Trent calls, stepping into the room before shutting the door behind him. You smiled at him, getting off of the chair. "Hey Trent, you okay?"

"Yeah," he nods, walking over to the bench furthest from the door. You did a few things, putting away the tape and the scissors. "What are you doing here so late?" He asks, leaning on the bench.

"Putting up decorations," you tell him, back turned to him as you shoved the leftover decorations into the bottom cupboard. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

He shrugs, his fingers fiddling with the hem of his shorts. "I uh.. well there's a pain in my thigh and it won't go away."

"What happened?" You walk over to the man, "I can take a look if you want."

"Yeah, could you?" He says, watching as you crouch down in front of him. Trent can't stop himself, all the filthy thoughts flooding his mind. "Where's the pain?" You asked, glancing up at him through your lashes and he inhales, trying to control himself - the thought was there, he just had to make it happen, that's if you wanted to.

"Upper thigh," he whispers and you nod, rubbing your hands together which makes him smile, reminding him of earlier that day. "You're gonna have to pull your shorts up, Trent."

He nods, pulling the left side up and bunching it by the top of his thigh as you slowly start feeling over the area. Your fingers were soft but firm, his head tipped back and lips pressed together as you moved your hand a bit closer to the top of his thigh.

"Where exactly is this pain?" You look up at him, brows furrowed. Trent looks down at you, tongue passing over his bottom lip. "A little higher," he whispers and you finally get what he meant.

"Oh," you nod, moving your hand up further until it was near his cock. Trent glances down at you, watching as your hand rubs over the bulge in his pants. "There?" you asked quietly and he bites back a smile, nodding.

"Now why didn't you just say that from the beginning, Trent?"

"You're the physio, y/n. I knew you'd figure it out," he smiles when you stand. You hum, nodding. "So tell me," your hand still rubbing over him, Trent glances between the two of you. "What do you think is the appropriate treatment for this?"

"Whatever you think would fix it, hm? You're the professional."

You move, about to lower yourself onto your knees again but Trent stops you. "As much as I'd love to see you on your knees for me.. fuck, I can't wait."

"Wait for ?" You teased, letting him move you around. He rolls his eyes, bending you over the bench. "Okay then, don't answer me." You mumbled, fully well knowing what he meant.

Trent pulls on your pants, pulling them down, You can feel him shuffling behind you, his own pants tugged down just enough. The tip of his cock presses against you when he leans over, his hand on your hip.

"Can I?" He asks, his hips jutting forward just a bit. You hum, nodding but Trent doesn't move, "I need words, y/n. C'mon love."

"Fuck- please, Trent."

Your arms are propped on the bench, holding you up. Trent's hand slips between your thighs, fingers brushing over your panties and your head drops forward.

Panties pushed to the side and he didn't have to hear anything else, lining himself up with you before his hips dig into you. He gives you a second to adjust him before moving.

He smiles at the way your face twists in pleasure. “God, you're so pretty," he sighs, pushing your shirt up a bit as his hips dug into your ass.

Trent's hips dig into your ass, your hips are surely going to have a bruise tomorrow morning.

When you feel the tip of his cock press against a certain spot, your head falls forwards, his name falling from your lips. "Just like that," you mumbled, your nails digging into the leather of the bench. You could see the little half circles indents it left but you didn't care.

He can feel you clench around him when he does that, his hips ramming into you from behind again. "Like that, love?"

"Fuc- yeah." You nod, barely able to keep yourself standing let alone speak.

His hand on your hip slips down between your legs, reaching for your clit. He barely moves his fingers before your own hand reaches down to rest on his. Looking down, the outline of his hand pulls your attention, no matter how much you wanted to look away, you couldn’t bring yourself too.

He pushes you down forward the bench, you prop yourself up on your forearms once again. You can see the reflection of the two of you in the glass door across from you; Trent's behind you, a hand on your hip and the other shoved down your panties, you're a mess, begging him to keep going.

Now Trent's not the biggest guy but he was bigger than you, both height wise and he was broader than you - you'd never admit it to him but god, you thought about him often. How good it would feel to have him on top of you or for you to be on top of him, how you fantasized about how good his fingers would feel or better yet, his cock.

You didn't have to fantasize about that part anymore.

The knot in your stomach tightens, and obviously, you know the size difference exists but you’d never seen it like this. Trent towers over you and his large hand covers your hip. Your body doesn’t even block his hips from view when he fucks you.

Your eyes find his in the reflection and you don’t even have to say anything, he knows exactly what you’re saying.

Trent smiles. "It’s okay sweetheart, I know.” He whispers to you, thrusts getting sloppier by the second. The way you squeezed around him would send him over the edge just as soon as you did. "Me too," he tells you and you hum, "inside."

"Inside?" He asks, unsure if he heard you right.

"Please, Trent."

You had the man wrapped around your finger. Anything you wanted, he'd give you. All you had to do was ask.

The two of you in sync, his chest pressed to your back as you both came down from your orgasm. He rubbed your side softly before leaning down to press a kiss to your neck and pulling out slowly. He smiles to himself when he hears the whimper that slips past your lips when he pulls out.

It takes a second, the two of you slowly getting redressed. You leant on the bench behind you when you looked at Trent, his face red. "Want some water?" You asked, already walking to the fridge.

"Yeah sure. Thanks." He ties the string on his shorts, you pass him the bottle when he walks over. Trent takes a sip before he speaks. "I uh, I'd love to take you out for dinner before we head out for the holidays, y/n."

"Usually, you'd take a girl out to dinner before you fuck her like a whore, right?"

He chokes on his water, rubbing his chest. "I- yes of course."

You laugh at his reaction, wiping away the water from his bottom lip with your thumb. Trent's hand rests on your lower back, "can I take you on a date, you know a proper date?"

"Promise to do that same thing after?" You joked, nodding towards the bench. Trent laughs, nodding. "If that's what you want."

"Oh shut up, mr. I can't wait."

Trent's cheeks are red again, making you smile. Your hand rests on his cheek, reaching up to give him a kiss. "Yeah, I'll go out with you."

"Good," he smiles. There's a knock on the door before he gets a chance to speak again. "Are you guys done?!" Andy shouts from the other side of the door. "I forgot my charger in there!"

You and Trent exchange a glance, laughing as he lets you go, letting you open the door to let Andy in. The Scotsman looks between the two of you, the state of the two of you was a give away; skin all sticky, clothes wrinkled and out of place, Trent's face is red and you've got a bit of a wobble to your walk.

Andy laughs, wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh! You two soooo-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Andrew."

taglist: @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @trentsfav @trentsmyfave @noturbabe22

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold smut #trent alexander arnold x reader #football x reader #football x you #football x y/n #football smut #merry smutmas xoxo

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sunflower-lilac42 · 6 months

Text

✧ 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | nico hischier ♔

summary: y/n is a famous singer and on a couple of interviews, her love for the swiss hockey man comes out. or, two times y/n talked about nico hischier in an interview/on a talk show and one time he talked about her.

warnings: um, gross foods and a tiny mention of gagging.

notes: i wanted to do a third interview but i didn't want to write it really so if you want to imagine it it's the james corden carpool karaoke with niall horan and when they do a lie detector test, james and niall ask about nico. also I'm sorry, i think this is mainly dialogue and i tried to make it so it wasn't but it's an interview so that's kind of hard. pretend the niall video came out in the past year. definitely not proofread because it's two in the morning and i am delierious and have no energy to go back and edit so don't make fun of me, thanks bye! :) also let me know if you want a part two of when they actually meet or get together. part two is out!

publish date: 10/30/23

part two (his girl ) | nhl masterlist | main masterlist

Jimmy Fallon - Mad Libs Theater ➺ reference video here!

“Welcome back, I’m hanging out with y/n y/l/n! Her new album is streaming every, apple music, Spotify, you name it. Uh, y/n I want to do something fun with you and act out a dramatic scene, but first, we have to fill in the blanks. It is time for Mad Lib Theater.”

The intro of Mad Lib Theater plays and y/n readjusts herself on the seat to look at Jimmy, “Alright. So here’s how this works. I’m going to ask you for some silly words - nouns, verbs, adjectives, et cetera - and they’ll all be written onto our cue cards here, as we’re doing this. And then we’re gonna act out a dramatic Mad Libs scene. Are you ready for this?”

“Thank god I went to fourth grade.”

Jimmy laughs along with the audience and uncaps the marker, “Okay. Here we go. I want a noun that starts with a C.”

“Candle.”

“Candle’s good. Adjective.”

“Sweaty.”

“Type of bug.”

“Mosquito.”

“Animal.”

“Elephant.”

“A chain restaurant.”

“Chipotle. I used to work there.”

“Chipotle?”

“Yeah.”

Jimmy continues, “Noun.”

“Jersey.”

“Like New Jersey or a sports Jersey?”

“Oh, uh New Jersey.”

“A kitchen appliance.”

“Spatula.”

“A plural noun.”

“Buildings.”

“Sophisticated.”

“I know right.”

“Another animal.”

“A yack.”

“One of the Seven Dwarfs.”

“Dopey.” She looks into the audience and winks.

“Celebrity name.”

“Taylor Swift. I love Taylor!”

“Name me a number,”

“13.”

“Just 13, 13-”

“1386.”

“Type of profession.”

“Hockey player.”

“Hockey player? Okay.”

“Wow! Speed round. Here we go. Another plural noun.”

“Mooses?”

“Uh, okay. Body part. Watch it.”

“Elbow.”

“Phrase that you would say if you bumped into Leonardo DiCaprio on the street.”

The audience starts yelling, lots of fans of y/n knowing how much she loves this movie as it takes her no time to come up with an answer, “Why did you let go, Jack? You should have stayed on the door. You should’ve got on the door.”

“Why did you let go, Jack? There was room for you on the door.” Y/n repeats herself for the man as he writes down her answer.

“Another noun.” Y/n’s flustered, “You do this one.”

“Burrito.”

“Burrito, okay.”

“Type of drink.”

“Bloody Mary.”

“Another celebrity.”

“Elizabeth Olsen.”

“Verb ending in i-n-g.”

“Slaying.”

Jimmy busts out laughing, “Slaying. This is fun doing Mad Libs with you.”

“What you’d shout if you sat down in a wet seat.”

“Fudge that’s wet.”

“‘Fudge that’s wet?’ I love you.”

“First concert you ever attended.”

“Madonna.”

“Wow. Madonna. You know what, that makes sense.”

“A professional athlete.”

Without any hesitation, y/n blurts out, “Nico Hischier.”

“What?”

Y/n hides her increasingly growing red cheeks, “He’s my favorite hockey player. He’s the captain of the New Jersey Devils.”

There were some hockey or Devils fans in the crowd and they let out a couple of cheers. Jimmy wiggles his eyebrows at the girl before continuing, “Another verb ending in I-N-G.”

“Blushing.”

“Yes, very good. You’re blushing right now.”

Y/n laughs, “Two words that rhyme.”

“Swiss. Kiss.”

“A long, silly word.”

“Iridocyclitis!” A man shouts from the audience.

“What?!

“Is that a disease? Is that an actual-”

“Yeah, what is that?”

Jimmy attempts to spell out a word.

“Iridocyclitis. Yeah, of course. Alright, now, we’ve filled out the words for our scene. Good look to our cue card. So sorry, Roman. Are you ready to perform our scene?”

“I don’t know now.”

“Let’s go let’s do this.”

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

Jimmy and y/n stand on the building after coming out in superhero costumes, “Am I green?”

“No, yeah, you’re green. Yeah, you’re green. I’m red.”

“Candle girl! What are you doing here?!”

“Oh, hello, Captain Sweaty.”

“Please call me by my nickname, Mr. Mosquito.”

“I’m here for the same reason you are here - to rescue the elephant stuck on the roof of this Chipotle.”

“I knew there was trouble tonight when I saw my signal in the sky- a light projected in the shape of… New Jersey.”

“Well, using our powers this rescue should be simple. I’m faster than a speeding spatula, and everything I touch turns to buildings.” Y/n says before Jimmy responds, “I have the agility of a yak. And when I get really dopey, I turn into Taylor Swift.”

Y/n starts laughing, unable to control herself, “Wow. I must tell you, my back story is complicated. When I was 1386 years old, I was… I was once bitten by a hockey player.”

She then spits out more laughter and doubles over to hold her stomach, “Oh my- Oh my god. And ever since, I’ve been able to emanate mooses from my elbow.”

“Why did you let go, Jack?” Jimmy holds his hand out before y/n places her own on his shoulder, “I know. It’s amazing, but with great power comes great burrito.” Both of the two laugh beofre controlling themselves and continuing the scene.

“Your story reminds me of my own. I became a superhero after I fell into a tub of radioactive bloody Mary. But listen. We must complete this rescue. In the trapped elephant’s collar, there’s a USB drive that contains images of Elizabeth Olsen slaying.”

Y/n snorts and covers her mouth quickly before laughing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought it’d be much worse.”

“And as a warning, I do have one weakness.”

“What is it?”

“Madonna.”

“That’s okay. Just remember what Professor Nico Hischier told us. He said if we’re ever in a situation like this,” Jimmy pulls out a gold button, “You press this button, and we will both immediately start blushing. Here we go.”

Y/n laughs and the two start slapping their cheeks for them to redden, “Our blushing is causing the elephant to be saved.”

She looks at Jimmy and then the cue cards and shakes her head, “Swiss kiss! We did it!”

“Yes, let’s high-five and say the secret superhero catchphrase on ‘three’. One, two, three.”

They both squint in an attempt to read the word, “Iri-dira-calaptus.”

“Dude!”

“Yeah!”

“And scene!”

The two laugh as the scene ends and Jimmy tries to get his words out, “My thanks to y/n y/l/n.”

✧༺✎༻∞

James Corden - Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts ➺ reference video here!

The theme music plays as the camera cuts to James, Ewan, Niall, and y/n sitting at a table with a rotating top and a bunch of food laid on it.

“Okay. so let’s take a look at the food that we have here.” James proceeds to spin the top of the table to showcase the food, “We have a salmon smoothie. A beef tongue.”

Ewan sticks his tongue out and makes a noise causing y/n to laugh as she holds her napkin up to her face, “This is disgusting.”

“Bird saliva.” The audience yells in disgust and Niall makes a whiffing motion with his hands, “The smell just gets stronger and stronger.”

“A scorpion. Fish head. Hot sauce. “

“Is that safe to do hot sauce?” Ewan asks as he looks towards James, “We’re gonna find out.”

“And finally, bull penis.”

“Yay!” Y/n claps.

“So here’s how this works. Ewan and I will be asking questions to Niall and y/n. Now if someone on your team chooses not to answer their question, you both will have to eat the disgusting food. Have we got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, Niall-” y/n cuts in quickly, “I’m already mad.”

“You’re up first. Niall, I am going to giv eyou-”

Niall points, “Please don’t do that. My acid reflex will freak out.”

“Please don’t. Not the scorpion.”

“The salmon smoothie.” Y/n squels.

“Here is your question, So if you answer the question you don’t have to eat, if you don’t answer the qeustion, you both have to have a big glug of the salmon smoothie.” Niall laughs, “I don’t know what I’m more nervous about, the question or the smoothie.”

“Well, I’ve just seen the question and I think it might be the question. Niall, who is your least favorite member or One Direction?”

Niall swears but the bleep covers it as he goes to clink smoothies with y/n. Y/n looks at him, “I think you should drink, I am not your publicist, but I don’t know that you should.”

“I think I might and just take the daily mail hit tomorrow, and throw out a crap answer. I’m trying to help y/n.” The said girl laughs and hits him, “If it’ll help you out, I’ll drink it.”

“Don’t think of your teammate, think of your life.”

“What do you think, Nial are you going to go salmon-”

Y/n places the napkin around Niall’s neck to make a bib, “Yeah for future life, yeah, I think I will go with this.” The two pick up smoothies and drink them, well attempt to drink them.

James hands them spoons and they both put it in their mouths. Y/n immediately gags and goes to spit it in the trash, getting some in her hair. James and Ewan immediately burst into laughter as they watch the two.

Ewan looks at y/n, “Are you alright?”

“It is not so of the taste, it’s the texture. It;s like having salmon yogurt.” James looks at y/n, “Oh and there is some in the hair to keep for later. Right, so now y/n, you will ask your question to me.”

“Oh well, well, well.”

“Which would you like me and Ewan to have?”

“Have a look at the question first.” Niall leans over to help y/n, it was honestly like having a brother and sister team up agains someone.

“Oh, wow. Getting tactical.”

“Oh, he is going to eat. I know– Scorpion.” Y/n turns the table so the scorpion sits in the front of the two men on the other side.

“Scorpion. I think that is the easiest one.”

“Well, yeah, you say that until it is in your face.”

“Your question is, James, name one artist who you have turned down for carpool karaoke.” The crowd lets out a bunch of oos, “How long have you got?”

“Cheers mate,” James cheers with Ewan and the eat the scropion, seemingly without any problem.

“What is y/n going to eat?”

“I think I’m going for the tongue.”

“And it’s one each. You have to eat the whole tongue.” Y/n looks at him disbelief and he just shakes his head, “I’m just kidding.”

“Oh this is quite a cute one. Y/n you once said you had a favorite hockey player, Nico Hischier, is it true you might have a crush on the Swiss man?”

Y/n immediately blushes and places her head in her hands as everyone laughs, “Oh come on, this is an easy one.”

“Oh shit.” The bleep censors the word as y/n looks at the tongue, “Yes, it’s true. I do have a crush on Nico Hischier.”

The whole crowd goes wild and Niall playfully hits her on the arm, “Niall what would you like to give Ewan?”

“Ewan you’re up. Truthfully, all I’ve been thinking about is that saliva. Surely the question gets better.”

“It does. Sorry, boys.”

“Jeez, again, back to the bird saliva.”

Y/n looks at the boys, “How do they get it?” James and Ewan playfully try to mimic on what they think happens.

Niall pulls out the card and y/n reads it, immediately bursting into laughter, “This is the greatest question ever.”

The Irish man looks up at Ewan with a grin on his face, “Ewan, have you ever shit your pants?”

Everyone laughs uncontroloblly for at least 30 seconds, “The show is only an hour, Ewan.”

“I mean I could lie, there is only one or two people that would know.”

“I am really enjoying this.”

“Well, I guess, yeah.”

“Hand on, wait how old were you?”

“Well, I was very young at the time.”

“No, no there didn’t have any age in there, did it.” Ewan defends.

“Well, we’ve all technicaly shit our pants as babies.” Y/n looks at the man.

“That is all I was referring to. I might have shit my pants in the 90s one time.”

“Ewan McGregor. Spilling it.”

“Okay, Niall I am going to give you guys.”

“Please not the hot sauce.”

“Some beef tongue, are you ready. Okay.”

“I’m going to have to eat this, aren’t I?”

“Niall, you have dated both Selena Gomex adn Ellie Goulding. It is your last night on Earth, who would you rather spend it with?”

“Just it doesn’t hurt anyone.” Y/n says, “Y/n’s going ‘it doesn’t hurt anyone’.”

Niall places his arm on the girl’s chair, “I’m afraid it does, love.”

“The trouble is, is that it’s not relaly your last night so someone’s gonna be upset tomorrow.”

“Okay, I would, cause it’s the last night on Eart, Ellie is a big fan of planet Earth by David Attenborough so I would sit and watch that with her and for that reason, Ellie Goulding.”

“Y/n it is your turn, you now will ask me a question and select a food.”

“You know what, you guys seem so keen on the beef tongue, giving it to us time and time again, so we will get revenge. James, you are definetly going to eat that, so have you got your knife and for ready.”

“Yup.”

“Which Late Night Host do you prefer, Kimmel or Fallon?”

“That’s tricky. Oh, dear are we eating this?” The two bite into the tongue and y/n gags as she watches them.

“That was Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts. Big thanks to Y/n Y/l/n, Niall Horan, and Ewan McGregor, we’ll be right back, everybody!”

✧༺✎༻∞

Nico Hischier on Y/n Y/l/n on a random post-game interview

“So Nico, I hate to ask you about this but there’s been these videos floatinga round about y/n y/l/n talking about you, have you heard about this?”

Nico nods his head as he looks at the interviewer, “Yeah, actually I have. Jack actually showed me this video and let me tell you, that was the last thing I was expecting.”

“Everyone is dying to know after she came out and explicitly stated that she liked you, do you like her, or at least have a tiny crush on her?”

“Yeah, well you know, I haven’t actually met her so I can’t say I like her but I do think she’s cute and that’s all I’m going to say about this.”

The interviewer nods, “Thanks, Nico.”

#sunnylunespeaks #sunny lune writes #nico hischier #nico hischer x reader #nico hischier x you #singer!reader #fem!reader #nhl #hockey

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