While it’s important to consider that abuse can be physical and/or emotional, I think it’s also good to remember:
A tense period with someone does not necessarily mean abuse
A friendship that’s turned sour or become emotionally draining does not necessarily mean abuse
A hella painful falling out does not necessarily mean abuse
Unkind or hateful words does not necessarily mean abuse
Interactions that directly cause someone pain does not necessarily mean abuse
I want to be clear: These can be part of an abusive experience. This is neither excusing nor downplaying bad actions. It’s important to know these can be red flags and indicators for abuse. Furthermore, a person’s intentions do not determine whether or not they’re an abuser.
My point is that a relationship with miscommunications, frustrations, sour moments, etc. is not necessarily abusive. I feel like lots of posts equate conflict with abuse, tensions with abuse, strained relations with abuse. It’s not that cut and dry. The bar isn’t set that low. Not all periods of pain and toxicity are abuse! They’re still unfun, they’re still bad, but abuse is a specific experience! It’s good to recognize strained periods happen even in the best relationships, and that there’s a difference between that and the cycle of abuse, the pattern of abuse, the impacts of abuse.
Relationship bad =/= abuse
Or, all abusive relationships are bad, but not all bad relationship experiences are abuse.
If you default to calling all uncomfortable interactions abuse, you’re going to miss opportunities of personal growth and you’re going to lack wisdom identifying how to handle these interactions.
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I've been reading a lot of conspiracy theories lately for fun and it's wild, sure, a glimpse into the mind of an insane person, but honestly it does kinda get boring after a while once you recognize all of the tropes
It's a real thing that happens and it was a fear for me at first but now? I genuinely don't get how "conspiracy reading for fun" could act as a pipeline to being a conspiracy theorist, like are you stupid?? Were you already susceptible to this brand of thought??? Literally all of these are either odd interpretations of economics, wishful thinking, reboots of antisemitism, or just plain regular bullshit, and like it's really easy to see that, like all of this is dumb, people who believe this are dumb, it's absurd
Fantastic fiction though, these could be good books or games or movies, and like that's what they are and that's their primary audience, people who want to pretend they're the protagonist of a movie, of a grand plot, every bad thing doesn't just happen or are perpetrated some random disturbed people! It's an organized movement at the top of everything responsible for every bad thing ever to keep us in line! It can be a kind of anti-religion in that sense, malevolent gods are better than none
There HAS to be gods at the top of it all, who put ridiculous references to themselves in everything and monolithically control the entire world, because if no one is in control, then that'd be terrifying
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Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Meet The Family Edition Volume II: Van Dort Visit
Victor: [knocking on the door to Smiler's apartment, fidgeting anxiously] S-smiler? Are -- are you ready to go?
Smiler: [from the other side of the door] Yeah, just a second!
Smiler: [opens the door to reveal that they're wearing -- a plain black suit, white shirt, and black tie]
Victor:
Smiler: ...you okay?
Victor: [blinking and shaking his head] Yes! I-I just -- didn't expect -- [gestures to the outfit] I d-didn't think you owned -- d-don't get me wrong, it is p-probably perfect for visiting Burtonsville and m-meeting my parents, it's only...it looks d-downright funereal.
Smiler: [really awkward smile] Ah -- there's a reason for that...
--
[Context: the trio are being driven by the Van Dorts' chauffeur through the streets of Burtonsville to the Van Dort mansion]
Smiler: [takes a picture of the town and sends it to their friends]
Thirteen: [texting back] Ha ha. Take one without the black-and-white-filter, will you?
Galactica: [texting back] Yeah, be fair, Smiler.
Smiler: [a minute later, texts a picture of themselves and Alice in front of the window, showing that they're in full color]
Galactica: [texting back] WTF???
Thirteen: [texting back] HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY LIVES IN A TIM BURTON MOVIE?!
--
[Context: at the mansion, Victor is showing Alice and Smiler around]
Smiler: [staring down another hallway] Sheesh, how many rooms does this place have?
Victor: I'm honestly not sure. More than we could ever need, that's for certain. [rolls his eyes] Have to have room for all of Mother's "treasures..."
Alice: Yes, your mother in particular does seem to be into the conspicuous consumption. [small smile] At least you don't have a gold toilet?
[smash cut to:]
Alice: [staring at a literal gold toilet] Oh my fucking god.
Smiler: [also staring] Is it -- can you --
Victor: Of course not -- do you think my mother would ever allow anyone to befoul her beloved toilet?
Smiler: Rita is going to kill your parents if she ever meets them.
Victor: Please tell her to do so in a way that allows me a proper alibi.
--
[Context: Nell is holding court at tea and complaining about "this modern world"]
Nell: People just don't know their place anymore! Why, just a little while ago, I had the displeasure of dealing with the rudest, most incompetent barista I've ever met!
Victor: [not really paying attention anymore] Did you?
Nell: Yes! Cheeky little bugger didn't seem to understand anything about his job! All I wanted was a few little extras -- the sort a customer is entitled to -- and he couldn't even pour the coffee right!
Victor: [sudden horrified realization] Uh --
Alice: [calmly sipping her tea] That must have been terrible for you.
Smiler: [nodding] I bet you didn't even leave a tip.
Nell: Oh, we never leave tips anyway -- we don't believe in them, isn't that right, William? [William gets half a nod in before she continues] But we paid good money for that coffee, and I expected it to be done right! Not by some half-wit with dyed hair rolling his colored contacts at me!
Smiler: [completely deadpan] How dare they.
Victor: [muttering] Still drank the entire thing, though.
Nell: Not the point! [shaking her head as she returns to her own tea] At least you're not spending all your time with those sorts, Victor. If I knew you were carrying on with a barista I'd die of shame.
Alice: [under her breath] Can we have that in writing?
Victor: [trying very hard not to laugh]
--
Victor: [deep sigh as they all climb in the Van Dort's car to go home] Thank you both for putting up with that.
Alice: It's fine, Victor. They are your parents, and we were going to have to do that eventually.
Victor: I know, just -- I'm sorry. About them. They're -- a-a lot, I know.
Alice: [squeezing his forearm] I imagine you do, yes.
Smiler: Yeah, really. [pause] So, how do you think it's going to take before she finally realizes who I am and dies of shame?
Victor: Considering how much attention she pays to "servants" -- the heat death of the universe.
Alice: I don't think I can wait that long.
Victor: Please don't murder my mother.
Smiler: Yeah, Rita already has dibs.
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