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#covid long haulers
rikaklassen · 2 months
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Yesterday was Long COVID Awareness Day. Glad to see ACT UP NY (Instagram outlink) being in solidarity with Long COVID survivors.
Way too many queer folks forgot (links to a zine) about the HIV/AIDS denialism in the '80s and '90s.
If you're interested in agitprop posters designed based on old HIV/AIDS awareness campaigns (Wikimedia outlink), Anna, aka X/@_copy_of_a_copy, has a series of "ACT UP/MASK UP" posters (Google Drive outlink) along with a long list of resources. mx. papaya (Carrd outlink) created a series of "Where is your RAGE?" posters and "CDC Kills" (Google Drive outlinks). Cohost/@edania has also produced a few posters here and here.
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patientmedical23 · 1 year
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Who is Best Vitamins For Covid Long Haulers?
There is currently no one specific vitamin or supplement that has been proven to be effective in treating or preventing COVID-19 or its long-term effects. However, maintaining a balanced and nutritious diet that includes a variety of vitamins and minerals can support overall health and immune function.
Some vitamins that may be beneficial for Vitamins For Covid Long Haulers include:
Vitamin D: Vitamin D plays a crucial role in supporting immune function and has been linked to a decreased risk of respiratory infections. Studies have also suggested that vitamin D may have a role in reducing COVID-19 severity and mortality. However, further research is needed to fully understand the relationship between vitamin D and COVID-19.
Vitamin C: Vitamin C is an antioxidant that helps protect against cellular damage and supports immune function. While there is limited evidence to suggest that vitamin C can prevent or treat COVID-19, it may help reduce the duration and severity of respiratory infections.
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michellemiyagi · 2 years
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Long COVID is like ME/CFS
Long COVID is like ME/CFS
Hi, y’all! I’ve not been making videos because I’ve been looking after my health. Over the summer, I have been resting more. I last made a batch of videos in May. I’ve been struggling with Long COVID since falling ill on Feb. 25th, 2020. The first year was not as bad. I even had six months after I got the J&J vax when I was almost totally well. Then Nov 2021 I relapsed, and it’s been worse ever…
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mysupplements · 2 years
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At the present era, Corona virus is one of the most dangerous problems in the globe and every countries are facing this issues at present time. All the scientists are searching medicin of covid-19. But Now, because of how many supplements are on the market, it's difficult to know how to select supplements for COVID long haul. immuneFence is Doctor formulated and has a patent-pending formula that will be used for COVID-19 support.
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i-amusemyself · 2 years
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PSA: Covid Effects and Complications
Alright fekkers this is how we’re doing public health announcements now that society is collapsing :))
This isn’t a post to tell you to avoid it, but to ask you to read the headings and make sure you make an informed decision if you wanna go out and get infected. If you do take risks, remember to avoid very young/old/pregnant/unwell/vulnerable people, test regularly and wear a mask (yes, they work).
Covid is Not Just A Respiratory Illness
COVID-19 routinely affects organs throughout the body, not just the respiratory system, including the brain, heart, liver, GI tract, endocrine system and skin (Gupta et al., 2020)
Covid can be seen as a blood clotting disorder masquerading as a respiratory illness. (Janardhan et al., 2020)
Covid Causes Brain Damage
Mild Covid infection shows significant orbitofrontal cortical atrophy (shrinking of parts of the brain) and cognitive decline (Crunfli et al., 2022)
Mild COVID-19 infection can cause impaired neurogenesis (nervous tissue growth), myelin and oligodendrocyte (nerve insulation) loss and increased neurotoxic molecules around the central nervous system (Fernández-Castañeda et al., 2022 *preprint)
MRIs of 401 patients done before and after Covid infection showed reduction in global brain size, grey matter loss (orbitofrontal cortex and parahippocampal gyrus) and cognitive decline. (Douaud et al., 2022)
COVID increases the risk of neurodegenerative disorders- Alzheimer’s disease risk is 3.5x increased; Parkinson’s disease risk is 2.6x increased; ischaemic stroke risk is 2.7x increased and intracerebral haemorrhage (bleeding in the brain) risk is 4.8x increased. (Zarifkar et al., 2022)
Risks of cognitive deficit, dementia, psychotic disorders, and epilepsy or seizures are increased for at least 2 years following Covid infection. (Taquet et al., 2022)
In 25% of mild Covid cases, visuocontructive cognitive deficits are seen, associated with changes in brain structure and metabolism. (de Paula et al., 2022)
Hospitalised Covid patients cognitive loss is similar on average to that sustained with 20 years ageing, and equivalent to losing 10 IQ points. (Hampshire et al., 2022)
People reportedly recovered from Covid show decreased intelligence and significant cognitive deficits. (Hampshire et al., 2021)
Covid Causes Alzheimer’s-like Pathology and Accelerates Existing Alzheimer’s Disease
Covid invades cognitive centers of the brain and induces Alzheimer’s-like neuropathology (Shen et al., 2022)
Covid is associated with accelerated progression of Alzheimer’s disease (aaic.alz.org) 
Covid produces proteins that form cytotoxic aggregates which damage neuronal cells, which parallels Alzheimer’s disease mechanism (Charnley et al., 2022)
COVID increases the risk of neurodegenerative disorders- Alzheimer’s disease risk is 3.5x increased; Parkinson’s disease risk is 2.6x increased; ischaemic stroke risk is 2.7x increased and intracerebral haemorrhage (bleeding in the brain) risk is 4.8x increased. (Zarifkar et al., 2022)
Risks of cognitive deficit, dementia, psychotic disorders, and epilepsy or seizures are increased for at least 2 years following Covid infection. (Taquet et al., 2022)
Covid Causes Kidney Damage
Mild Covid infection is associated with increased risk of kidney damage (Bowe et al., 2021)
Covid infection triples risk of End Stage Kidney Disease, requiring dialysis or kidney transplant (Bowe et al., 2021)
Covid Causes Diabetes
Covid patients have a 40% increased risk of being diagnosed with diabetes after first infection (Xie et al., 2022)
Covid infection is associated with an 81% increase in Diabetes incidence for 12+ weeks following infection (Rezel-Potts et al., 2022)
Mild Covid infections increase risk of Type 2 Diabetes development (Rathmann et al., 2022)
Covid infection leads to an average of 42% increased risk of Type 1 Diabetes across all ages. Risk increases most in pediatric patients- by 584%. (Quedan et al., 2022)
Covid Causes Cardiovascular Illness
Covid infection, even when mild, substantially increases risk of cardiovascular illness up to at least 1 year later (Xie et al., 2022)
Capillary density (how many small blood vessels are present) is reduced by 41% in sufferers of Long Covid 18 months after Covid infection (Osiaevi et al., 2022)
Acute Covid infection results in 6x increase in cardiovascular diagnosis; 11x increase in pulmonary embolism (blood clot in lung); 6x increase in atrial arrhythmias (abnormal heartbeat); 5x increase in venous thromboses (blood clot in vein). (Rezel-Potts et al., 2022)
A spike protein found on Covid-19 virus particles uses the body’s immune response to damage and inflame heart muscle cells. (heart.org)
People with Covid exhibited increased risks and 12-month burdens of incident cardiovascular diseases, including cerebrovascular disorders, dysrhythmias, inflammatory heart disease, ischemic heart disease, heart failure, thromboembolic disease and other cardiac disorders. Risk were evident even in those without prior cardiovascular disease. (Xie et al., 2022)
Risk of stroke more than doubles even with mild or asymptomatic Covid infection. Median time of stroke is 2 months after Covid diagnosis. (Tu et al., 2021)
Covid infection increases heart attack risk by 3-8x and stroke risk by 3-6x (Katsoularis et al., 2021)
Covid infection increases risk of deep vein thrombosis, pulmonary embolism and bleeding in the months following acute illness (Katsoularis et al., 2022)
Long Covid is associated with presence of microclots throughout the body. (Pretorius et al., 2021)
Long Covid patients may face an increased risk of abnormal blood clotting. (uclh.nhs.uk)
Covid Accelerates Biological Ageing
Accelerated biological ageing is seen in Covid infection (Cao et al., 2022)
Covid Damages the Immune System
Covid causes T-cell exhaustion, meaning the immune system is less able to fight off pathogens (Loretelli et al., 2021)
Previous infection with earlier SARS2 strains can lead to impaired immune responses to Omicron (Reynolds et al., 2022)
Covid infects and kills T-lymphocytes (key cells of the immune system), causing low T-lymphocyte counts 1(Guan et al., 2020), 2(Shen et al., 2022)
Long Covid patients show reactivation of latent Epstein-Barr (can cause MS) and Varicella Zoster (can cause shingles and Ramsey Hunt syndrome) viruses (Klein et al., 2022 *preprint)
2.8% of Long Covid patients reported Varicella Zoster Virus reactivation, leading to shingles, following Covid infection. Primary risk factors for VZV reactivation are age and immunodeficiency. (Davis et al., 2021)
Covid infection causes immunodefiency in recovered patients by downregulating a specific protein on B Cells (a type of immune cell). (Jing et al., 2021)
Covid Causes the Body to Attack Itself (Autoimmunity)
Covid causes production of autoantibodies which target the immune system, vascular cells, coagulation factors and platelets, connective tissue, and organ systems, including lung, the central nervous system compartment, skin, gastrointestinal tract and other tissues. (Wang et al., 2021)
Asymptomatic Covid infection can lead to severe Ulcerative Colitis (an inflammatory bowel disease). (Mora et al., 2022)
Mild Covid infection can produce significant levels of autoantibodies for 7+ months. (Bhadelia et al., 2021)
Covid infection precedes new appearance of autoimmune and inflammatory diseases. (Galleoti and Bayry, 2020)
Covid infection linked to development of vasculitis, arthritis, lupus and sarcoidosis. (Gracia-Ramos et al., 2021)
Autoantibodies linked to Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Guillain-Barré syndrome, immune thrombocytopaenia and autoimmune haemolytic anaemia found in patients following Covid infection. (Moody et al., 2021)
In a group of non-hospitalised healthcare workers with Covid, 54% tested positive for autoantibodies- these targeted skin, smooth muscle, neutrophils (a type of white blood cell of the immune system) and gastric parietal cells (cells in the gut). (Richter et al., 2021)
Covid May Affect Both Male and Female Fertility
COVID-19 virus can be found and continues to replicate in the testes even after death (Costa et al., 2022 *preprint)
COVID-19 infects the testes and damages spermatogenesis (sperm production) (Ma et al., 2020)
Covid virus particles found in penis tissue of men infected 6-8 months earlier, who later experienced erectile dysfunction (Kresch et al., 2021)
Study shows total sperm number lower in men infected with Covid at 3 month follow up (Best et al., 2021)
Testes of Covid patients show significant seminiferous tubular injury and reduced Leydig cells- cells that produce testosterone. (Yang et al., 2020)
11 of 26 (42%) men with mild/moderate Covid infection showed incidental (asymptomatic) epididymitis on Doppler ultrasound - a condition that can cause infertility (Carneiro et al., 2021)
A case of premature ovarian failure due to Covid infection (Madaan et al., 2021)
Another case of premature ovarian insufficiency in a 34-year-old following Covid infection (Wilkins and Al-Inizi, 2021)
Ovarian injury, including declined ovarian reserve and reproductive endocrine disorder, can be observed in a study of women in China infected with Covid. (Ding et al., 2021)
Study finds men who had seemingly fully recovered from Covid infection developed decreased sperm count and motility and abnormally shaped sperm. (Ghosh et al., 2022)
Covid Causes Erectile Dysfunction
Covid virus particles found in penis tissue of men infected 6-8 months earlier, who later experienced erectile dysfunction (Kresch et al., 2021)
A Long Covid survey found 15% of men reported sexual dysfunction and 3% reported a decrease in genital size. (Davis et al., 2021)
Prevalence of erectile dysfunction 3x as common in men after Covid infection (28% vs 9% in controls) (Sansone et al., 2021)
Prevalence of erectile dysfunction in Thai men reported as 65% following Covid infection (Harirugsa et al., 2021)
Another study showing risk of erectile dysfunction triples following Covid infection. (Katz et al., 2021)
Study finds that Covid infection leads to 6-fold increased risk of erectile dysfunction, which worsens men’s mental health. (Hsieh et al., 2022)
Covid Causes Autonomic Nervous System Dysfunction
30% of 4000 Long Covid patients met the criteria for a diagnosis of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, a type of dysautonomia (Davis et al., 2021)
Dysautonomia (autonomic nervous system dysfunction) may be responsible for fatigue and hypoxia in Long Covid patients. (Barizien et al., 2021)
Covid infection frequently causes abnormalities in autonomic nervous system tests, as well as worsening pre-existing dysfunction. Abnormalities included orthostatic intolerance, fainting, heachaches, burning pains, excessive sweating and lightheadedness. (Shouman et al., 2021)
67% of Long Covid patients have moderate-to-severe autonomic dysfunction, regardless of severity of initial Covid infection. (Larsen et al., 2022 *preprint)
Covid infection could result in gastric dysmotility and paralysis (stomach and intestines become unable to move food through). (Coles et al., 2022)
Covid Can Seriously Harm Children
SARS2 causes increased hospital admissions, mortality rate and absolute numbers of deaths in children, compared to Influenza (Shein et al., 2022)
Asymptomatic infection in children can lead to a serious, multiorgan hyperinflammatory syndrome (Riphagen et al., 2020)
An epidemic of hepatitis in healthy children could be linked to previous COVID-19 infection (science.org)
Pulmonary dysfunction persists even in children considered to be recovered from Covid (Heiss et al., 2022 *preprint)
Covid leads to a 3x increased risk of psychotic disorders in children (Taquet et al., 2022)
Children are twice as likely to develop epilepsy or seizures following Covid infection, compared to following other respiratory infections (Taquet et al., 2022)
Children are at an increased risk of epilepsy, encephalitis, nerve, nerve root and plexus disorders up to at least 2 years after Covid infection (Taquet et al., 2022)
Intracranial (brain) bacterial infections have increased during the Covid pandemic, occuring during or just after Covid infection. One Michigan children’s hospital reports a 236% increase. (Khuon et al., 2022)
235,000 children in England have Long Covid symptoms lasting 12+ weeks that affect their daily life (ONS.gov.uk)
21% of Year 13 pupils missed 4+ weeks of school due to Covid for the 21/22 academic year in England (suttontrust.com)
Children and teens who’ve had Covid are at greater risk for blood clots, heart problems, kidney failure, and Type 1 diabetes (Kompaniyets et al., 2022)
5.2 million children have lost a parent or caregiver to Covid infection. (Unwin et al., 2022)
Covid infection leads to an average of 42% increased risk of Type 1 Diabetes across all ages. Risk increases most in pediatric patients- by 584%. (Quedan et al., 2022)
Covid Can Endanger Pregnancy and the Growing Baby
Covid infection during pregnancy increases risk of preterm delivery (Edlow et al., 2022)
Covid infection at delivery increases risk of stillbirth (DeSisto et al., 2021)
Covid infection during pregnancy increases risk of neurodevelopmental disorder diagnosis in babies by 2.17x during first year of life (Edlow et al., 2022)
Risk of severe Covid infection is higher in pregnant women. (Rad et al., 2021)
Newborns born to mothers who had recovered from Covid 10+ weeks prior to birth show viral mRNA and proteins in their stool and signs of intestinal inflammation. (Jin et al., 2022)
Covid infection destroys the placenta, starving the baby of oxygen, resulting in increased risks of stillbirth and neonatal deaths. (Schwartz et al., 2022)
Covid Can Lead to Development of New Allergies
Mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS) may be triggered by Covid infection, resulting in new allergies and risk of anaphylaxis. (Afrin et al., 2020)
Mast cell activation symptoms are increased in Long Covid (Weinstock et al., 2021)
Covid Worsens Mental and Psychological Health
Covid diagnosis associated with increased risk of mental health diagnosis and neurocognitive decline (Xie et al., 2022)
Risks of cognitive deficit, dementia, psychotic disorders, and epilepsy or seizures are increased for at least 2 years following Covid infection. (Taquet et al., 2022)
Covid Reinfection is Common and Increasingly Detrimental to Health
Reinfection with Covid increases risk of hospitalization, death and long covid by more each time 1(Al-Aly et al., 2022 *preprint), 2(World Health Organisation)
Covid reinfections are common. Mean time between 1st and 2nd infection is 79 days, and between 2nd and 3rd infection is 65 days. (Al-Aly et al., 2022 *preprint)
Covid reinfection is possible as soon as 19 days after initial infection. (Ren et al., 2022)
Long Covid is Common, Serious and Potentially Disabling
1 in 5 (20-30%) develop a new health condition following Covid infection (Bull-Otterson et al. 2022)
Just below 1 in 10 (9.3%) triple vaccinated people are not recovered 4-8 weeks after Omicron infection in the UK (ONS.gov.uk)
1 in 7 (14%) of 11-18 year olds have symptoms 15 weeks after COVID-19 infection (Stephenson et al., 2021)
Long Covid causes disability and unemployment (theguardian.com)
Two million days of healthcare staff absences were lost to Long Covid during the first 18 months of the pandemic in England (the guardian.com)
On average, healthcare staff absent with Long Covid are off for more than 80 days in England (theguardian.com)
A US Long Covid group reports that 44% of those affected are out of work (longhauler-advocacy.org)
235,000 children in England have Long Covid symptoms lasting 12+ weeks that affect their daily life (ONS.gov.uk)
21% of Year 13 pupils missed 4+ weeks of school due to Covid for the 21/22 academic year in England (suttontrust.com)
The proportion of people unemployed and not seeking work due to Long Covid has doubled in the past year in the UK (theguardian.com)
Long Covid survey of nearly 4000 finds 45% required a reduced work schedule and 22% could not work due to illness (Davis et al., 2021)
88% of Long Covid sufferers experience cognitive dysfunction and memory problems (Davis et al., 2021)
80,000 people estimated to have left employment due to Long Covid by March 2022 in UK (Reuschke and Houston, 2022)
2.9 million people of working age in the UK have had, or currently have, Long Covid (Reuschke and Houston, 2022)
Long Covid has over 200 symptoms spanning 10 organ systems. (Davis et al., 2021)
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Graph via @davidsteadson on Twitter
Vaccination Does Not Fully Prevent Long Covid
16% of Covid infections lead to Long Covid after 3 vaccinations (Azzolini et al., 2022)
Just below 1 in 10 (9.3%) triple vaccinated people are not recovered 4-8 weeks after Omicron infection in the UK (ONS.gov.uk)
Vaccination only reduces risk of Long Covid by 15%. (Al-Aly et al., 2022)
Covid Persists in the Body after Initial Infection
Covid can persist throughout the body and brain even following mild/asymptomatic infections, for at least 230 days (Chertow et al., 2021 *preprint)
COVID-19 can persist within the gut for at least 7 months after infection 1(Gaebler et al., 2021), 2(Natarajan et al., 2022)
Residual COVID-19 virus has been found in the appendix and breast tissue, 175- and 462-days post-infection, respectively (Goh et al., 2022 *preprint)
COVID-19 virus can persist in the eyes after initial infection (Armstrong et al., 2021)
COVID-19 virus can be found and continues to replicate in the testes even after death (Costa et al., 2022 *preprint)
Covid virus particles found in penis tissue of men infected 6-8 months earlier, who later experienced erectile dysfunction (Kresch et al., 2021)
Viral Persistence Can Cause Serious Illness Many Years Later
We do not know the long term effects of Covid Infection and Persistence.
Persistent Hepatitis C infection increases risk of Hepatocellular carcinoma (liver cancer) (Mitchell et al., 2015)
Persistent Human Papillomavirus (HPV) infection causes cervical cancer (Sudenga et al., 2013)
Persistent HIV infection leads to immunodeficiency and AIDS (Pauza, 1988)
Persistence of Epstein Barr Virus (EBV) can cause development of multiple sclerosis (Ruprecht, 2020)
Persistence of varicella zoster virus (VZV), which causes chickenpox, can result in shingles and Ramsey Hunt Syndrome (Gershon et al., 2015)
These effects of Covid are not easy to learn about, but it is essential that people know the risks. This is not fearmongering- it is not “what if”s and “maybe”s- these are events that are happening right now, around the world.
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fernthefanciful · 2 years
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Being disabled/chronically ill is expensive. Now, I don't even mean medical bills (I'm from a country with universal healthcare), or mobility aids. I fell ill 2,5 years ago, to the day. This is what I've had to buy, just to function in my day to day life, because of it:
an ergonomic mouse and keyboard because of joint pain
an entire new wardrobe due to weightgain
on top of that warmer vests, socks, and blankets because I can't regulate my own temperature anymore
compression socks and gloves for my joints
an e-bike, which for me is a mobility aid by now, I can't get around without it
noise cancelling headphones against sensory overload
new shoes due to swelling
a new desk chair
an upright vacuum cleaner because the other one is now too heavy for me
we're looking into a crockpot because most days I cannot cook anymore due to fatigue
A lot of people don't realize that just to get through a day, we need a lot of stuff that isn't cheap. And with each symptom or flare up or worsening of our existing symptoms, there is new stuff we need to buy to accommodate. Being disabled or chronically ill is expensive, please keep that in mind.
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April, 2023
“Are you okay?”
“But You’re doing great..”
Really? Am I? They have no clue. These are people close to me. It hurts so much to be living with an “invisible illness”.
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Today, brain fog, forgetfulness, memory loss, fatigue, dizzy spells, and muscle weakness are plaguing me. With a constant subtle migraine..almost daily. I cry. Every. Day. I’m just barely trying to hold it together.
I participated in a local art show, and the opening reception was last night, I couldn’t even get out of bed. No one reached out..until this morning, 1 friend noticed I wasn’t there. And messaged me to check in. I felt so alone.
Every day, I feel like I’m closer and closer to the grave, and I’m scared. I’m only 36. I feel like I’m withering away. [2 years and 4 months in]
I first got Covid in December 2020, then in December 2021.
I created this journal, in hopes that I can reach other people living with chronic illness, to say, you are not alone. 🖤
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crazycatsiren · 1 year
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15 March 2023 is the first International Long COVID Awareness Day.
We will not be left behind and forgotten.
We will be strong together.
We will fight for a future for us.
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morganoperandi · 1 year
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I hate to do this again, but I just discovered that I currently have over a $1,000 in medical bills and our landlord is planning to raise our rent when the lease is up, so we're going to have to move.
Anything you can give helps. I'm feeling so broken right now and I don't know what to do.
This is a gofundme my Mom set up, because she's also broke, but wanted to try and help some way. The money that's been donated so far is already gone, since I was out of work for three months.
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fanartandfanfiction · 9 months
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Send good vibes today, guys. My disability hearing is in a few hours. It’s my last chance to plead my case.
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New review article by 2 eminent US physician scientists [Anthony Komaroff & Ian Lipkin]:
ME/CFS & #LongCOVID share similar symptoms & biological abnormalities: road map to the literature
Free fulltext: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fmed.2023.1187163/full
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inter-volve · 1 year
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https://www.tiktok.com/@crutches_and_spice?_t=8Xp0vM58Jx5&_r=1
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theradicalscholar · 1 year
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🌡️⚖️ Bacterial Pneumonia: Lessons from the Past, Relevance to COVID-19 🦠🔍
The 1918 influenza pandemic taught us about the significant role of bacterial pneumonia, overshadowing the primary viral infection. This knowledge remains relevant to COVID-19.
🧪 Unveiling the Evidence: Autopsy findings showed that secondary bacterial infections were the primary cause of death during the 1918 pandemic.
⚙️ Viral-Bacterial Interplay: Combining influenza viruses with bacteria led to severe disease, highlighting their synergistic effects.
💡 Pandemic Preparedness: Recognizing the importance of bacterial pneumonia is vital in preparing for future outbreaks. Preventing, diagnosing, and treating bacterial pneumonia should be prioritized.
😷 Finding Balance: While masks are essential in curbing the spread of COVID-19, excessive and indiscriminate usage may have drawbacks. Research has raised concerns about certain mask types potentially increasing respiratory infections.
💪 Navigating Complexity: We need a comprehensive approach that balances mask usage with overall health considerations to create a resilient society.
🌍🤝 Building a Healthier Future: By learning from history, we can prioritize public health, prepare for future pandemics, and minimize unintended consequences. Let's stay vigilant and #StopTheSpread.
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talkativetrashpanda · 9 months
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So I was in therapy earlier today, and I was explaining to my therapist that right now everything just felt kind of numb. We’ve had so much happen in such a short time span that I think my emotions just shut down. And Jenny, being the incredible therapist that she is, managed to find the right spot in my brain and crack it open like a walnut.
It started very simply. I said something along the lines of “I’m tired of saying it’s fine when it’s not.” Jenny looked at me with a cock of her head and said “so tell me what’s not fine.”
And holy shit.
I haven’t really cried over much, because again, my emotions went into shutdown mode. But once I started listing things, the dam broke loose.
It’s not fine that my dog isn’t here anymore. She was only nine and it’s not fine at all that she suffered like she did.
It’s not fine that I’m sick again after being well for so long. I’m terrified of how it’ll set me back. It’s not fine that, even though I’m doing all the things I’m supposed to do, I still managed to get sick.
It’s not fine that I’ve become my family’s therapist, a mediator between my parents. It’s not fine that I’ve been forced into the middle.
It’s not fine that I just turned 27 and I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be. It’s not fine that Covid completely, totally fucked me over and I’m still sick three years later. It’s put my life on pause and I’m missing this time in my life.
It’s not fine that I have to stand up in court and argue that I’m disabled. That I have to prove myself to a judge and a board of doctors and who knows. It’s not fine that, despite numerous forms and letters from multiple doctors, they still don’t believe me. It’s not fine that I have to fight for my disability to be recognized because I look fine on the outside.
It’s not fine that my aunt was finally free from lifelong abuse, only to have a stroke and dementia. She had less than one year of freedom. It’s not fine talking to her on the phone and trying not to cry because she doesn’t know who I am or where she is.
It’s not fine that the last three years have been a never ending shitstorm of pain and trauma. It’s not fine that I’ve been hit with tragedy after tragedy and I’ve taken more than my fair share. It’s not fine that NONE OF MY FRIENDS understand what I’m going through, or even bother to check on me half the time.
It’s not fine that the world is moving on without me. There are still people that don’t think Covid existed. They weren’t touched by it when I’m still fighting three years later.
So much is not fine and I’M not fine and I’m tired of pretending and telling myself I am. I’m not fine in the slightest and somehow I have to keep going forward like it is. I’ve had no time to process or grieve any of the losses because the hits just keep coming.
It’s fine to not be fine.
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kdhume · 3 months
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Blatantly unfair that I have to have long covid AND deal with anti vaxxers with long covid who won't admit that their actions maybe had consequences
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deepdrearn · 1 year
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Long Covid & Recovery
I got an ask on something I wrote on long covid and I realized I had A Lot to say about it. So I wrap it in a long post here, who knows someday to someone else’s benefit.
I got covid for the first time in April. I coughed, was tired and experienced shortness of breath. But no fever, so (in typical Dutch fashion) I figured it wasn’t that bad. Yeah ok, it took me two hours to do my morning routine and then I had to recover, but apart from feeling like I was training for a marathon, nothing wrong. It took me a few weeks before I noticed that my fatigue was getting worse every day. Oops. 
Right before before I had covid, I casually biked 100km in weekends, untrained. After, I could not even do 10 minutes. The majority of my recovery has happened in about six months. At this point I am still not 100% there but I am good enough to work on my graduation thesis again and start training for a winter triathlon in March. 
What follows now is a summary of my lessons learned:
1) Brain recovery takes longer than fitness. Although at first, the brain recovery was much aligned with the body recovery, eventually the brain recovery went slower. I have read that this is because as soon as you are able to move your body more, your brain gets more stimuli: in other words it is much more overloaded quickly than your body. So that’s normal and it happens a lot!
2) Professional help helps. I was lucky enough to get this relatively late into the pandemic, so programmes for long covid patients were already in place. I was also lucky enough that my GP immediately send me to a post-covid recovery programme where I got a physical therapist. She helped me find the right pace of recovery, as I had a very hard time accepting that 10 minutes of biking, or 30 minutes of emailing was my limit. She would tell me again and again not to push it, for it would set me back even more. 
3) Rest is a skill. In the first months, I lied down every 2 hours to make sure I'd take enough rest. When going somewhere I'd take the car so I could nap in the car. I rested.
4) Checking in with the body is a skill. I never did it before. I was the king of Pushing Through. Pushing through a marathon, tendonitis, sleep deprivation, exams. I had made it my skill. But now I had a body with such fragile limits, that got worse with every push. I had to learn to really check in and feel my body. To do so, I meditated daily. Sometimes more than an hour per day (in sessions of 20 minutes). I am so glad I learned this and I still check in.
5) There is no quick fix for long covid. My physical therapist had told me that with their programme, most peoples recovery really starts somewhere between 3-6 month. After 3 months the first improvements started, and writing emails did no longer take two hours. But well, most of the things I did were still a mess and I had a really hard time keeping an overview. I had no idea who I told about it or not, so I probably told some people many times how messy I was, and forgot to update others. 
6) I got my booster vaccination two months ago and that was a big push for my recovery. At that point I was doing ok. I was studying again, but I needed all weekend to recover from that. After the booster, it felt like a big setback. After 10 days, however, I started feeling ‘normal’ for the first time since April. I am not a scientific study and I lack the medical lingo to look for studies but I’m pretty sure it helped me. A Lot.
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