#current me misses Conversing with the Masses! or something like that! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freakystrashdump · 5 months

Text

🔮The Oracle Bakery🔮

Emperor Belos|Phillip Wittebane/OC

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, Belos is a content warning by himself

Read on AO3

previous chapter | START | next chapter

Chapter 16: Forget-me-not meringues

Hunter had felt like, perhaps, that lying on the cold, hard earth, waiting for death to claim him, would have been an easier option. As opposed to, well, being forced to come face to face with the woman he was so horrible towards, all the while she was nothing short of kind to him in return.

And yes, by now he was seriously considering the scenario where Selena Fortuna was, truthfully and honestly, nice to him, with no nefarious reasoning behind her actions.

He heard it in passing last night: Steve, her assigned guard, was muttering to himself about how much it sucked that this all happened “Just as they stopped fighting over you- oh crap, I shouldn’t have said that”, before nervously bidding his farewell to the young royal and making his exit without giving Hunter the chance to stop him.

What did he mean by fighting over him?

As if the guilt hadn’t been enough, eating at him from the second he knocked that cake out of the baker’s hands. Now it was hitting critical mass with the knowledge that she was poisoned and was in critical condition. And it happened whilst she was protecting the Emperor.

That was his job, damn it. If someone was to get hurt, then it should have been…

And as he paced nervously in front of the Emperor’s chambers last night, waiting desperately for any news, he felt even worse as the oppressing, hostile aura emanating from Magnus, Selena’s uncle, weighed on Hunter like a bag of bricks.

And here Hunter thought his uncle was intimidating.

So, as he made his way back to Belos’ chambers, having received a summon from Hettie, Hunter once more considered the option of maybe just waiting for death to come and take him.

He didn’t do it, of course, but he considered it.

Arriving at the doors of the Emperor's chambers, the first thing that Hunter had noticed was that the terrifying presence of Magnus was missing - thank the Titan. One less stress to add to this entire fiasco. The young prince stood in front of the doors, picking dust off of his uniform and smoothing out any wrinkles, buying himself more time to gather up his courage. With one last adjustment to his mask to make sure it was on straight, Hunter breathed in deeply and knocked on the Emperor's doors.

“Come in.”

Well. Might as well get this over with, as it can’t get any worse. Decisively, Hunter opened the doors and stepped inside. To his surprise, he found his Uncle not in his empirical robes - Belos sat on one of the sofas, dressed casually, leisurely, though his mask was still on. It made Hunter wonder if someone else was there.

“You called for me, uncle?”

Belos looked at him pointedly, the hollow eyes of his mask making Hunter shudder "Ah, Hunter. You came quickly." He spoke absent-mindedly, letting his elbows rest on his knees and lacing his fingers together to make a place for him to lean his chin on "The Fortuna is going to be making a full recovery." He informed courtly "She is in my bedchambers as we speak, along with her uncle. They are currently informing her family of her health."

The relief Hunter felt upon hearing this news was instant. “I am…” he hesitated as he felt his chest constrict, fighting the tornado of emotions inside “...incredibly relieved to hear that, uncle.”

There was a heavy pause in conversation between them, Belos staring the boy down, mulling over his words.

Hunter felt himself break into cold sweat.

After a moment that lasted far too long, Belos spoke again “I have been meaning to ask you, Hunter.” he started as he rose to his feet, beginning to slowly close the distance between the two of them “During the night, Selena and I spoke, has something… transpired between you two?” he stopped in front of Hunter “From what I heard, the girl is under the impression that, ah how to put it, ah yes. That you hate her.” he tilted his head slightly towards him “Poor thing seemed so very hurt by the prospect.”

Hunter swallowed hard, yet he remained silent.

“Such a shame.” Belos tutted “I have tried my best not to mix you up in all of this, you understand. But, alas.” he sighed, disappointment oozing out of him “I knew you weren’t fond of her, so I tried sparing both of your feelings. But, bleeding heart that she is, Selena insisted on treating you every time she visited.” there was a flash of blue under the mask, brief but threatening “We even fought over her stubbornness as she went explicitly against my wishes to leave you be. Unfortunate as it was.”

As if the guilt hadn't weighed on him heavily already.

The boy swallowed thickly, feeling nausea wash over him "So… it is true." He muttered to himself, gaze focused at the floor "She wasn't… she wasn't malicious..."

"Hmm?” He heard Belos through the brain fog of his own thoughts ”I couldn't hear you, Hunter, do stop mumbling to yourself."

Hunter shook his head, clearing it of rushing thoughts “I do not-” he cut himself off, opting not to go on the defence immediately “It’s true, uncle. I was… less than courteous to Miss Fortuna the last time I saw her.” he let out a shaky breath, not sure how he managed to keep his voice from breaking “That may be where she had… gotten that impression.” he looked up at Belos with eyes wide in mild panic “And I feel horrible about it! Especially now! I- I don’t know how to make it better, I-”

“Have you tried apologising?” Belos cut off his rant, successfully de-escalating the boy's rampant thoughts “From our talk, I am certain she holds no ill will towards you. An honest apology for your actions may do wonders.”

The suggestion made Hunter grimace under the mask “I’m not sure-” he started, uncertain, but straightened out when he felt Belos place his hand on his shoulder.

“It’s a start.” he persisted “And if you do it honestly - and from your heart - I'm sure she will accept it.”

Hunter felt heavy under his uncle's gaze and he looked away, taking the time to let his words settle in his head. Just an apology? Hunter scoffed, what good will that do? He thought bitterly, the image of the woman’s face welling up with tears etched into his mind at this point, haunting him with guilt every time he closed his eyes. The anxiety laid heavy in his throat, like a stone he couldn’t fully swallow. It almost felt as bad as the disappointment he could sometimes see in his uncle’s eyes as he failed him yet again.

But, he tried to reason, if Belos insisted that an apology would be enough, then who was he to doubt him. Afterall, Hunter has dealt with worse before - so what is a little apology in comparison?

There was the sound of laughter which, surprisingly enough, came from Belos’ bedroom, catching Hunter by surprise. Seeing the boy's head snap in that direction, Belos chuckled “Ah, it seems her family is in good spirits, now that she’s recovered.” he said, turning away from Hunter to go and sit back on the sofa. Hunter followed after him diligently “Now, I wonder. Do you remember what I’ve told you about the Fortunas, Hunter?”

The boy stood obediently by his side “Yes, uncle.” he said, staring straight ahead as he thought back “The Fortuna’s are one of the strongest and most influential clans of oracles in the Boiling Isles, going back generations, even before the implementation of the Coven System.” he recited in a way where it was obvious that this was something he had heard repeated a hundred times before “Their current matriarch is one of the first to receive a sigil, and she was also one of the biggest turning points when it came to getting public approval in implementing the system itself.”

“Correct. You remember well.” Belos praised him, and Hunter felt his chest swell with joy “It was Madame Isabella Fortuna, I know her well.” he filled in what the boy missed and sighed as nostalgia washed over him “Ah. Madame Isabella. How she hated my proposition for the coven system. But - she cared for her family more .”

Hunter’s head snapped to stare at his uncle in shock.

“The Fortunas have always put the needs of their kin above the needs of the rest.” Belos chuckled, “And that is exactly why they still remain one of my most loyal allies.”

“But…” Hunter hesitated “...you just said-”

“That Isabella opposed me every step of the way as the messenger of the Titan? That she hated the sigils, despite being one of the first to receive one?” Belos laughed softly to himself “Oh, that much is certain. But, Isabella had given her full public support to every decree I’ve ever made, and remained loyal to my rule, all for one simple promise on my part.” Hunter could hear the smile he wore under the mask “Every Fortuna that bows to the Emperor’s crown will always be kept safe under my rule.”

Belos straightened in his seat and turned to Hunter, before continuing “And that is an important lesson for you to learn, Hunter.” he said matter-of-factly “Every person has a price on their loyalty, and you should always put extra care into finding what that price is, especially for those who wish to oppose you.” he tilted his head slightly downwards as he gave Hunter a knowing look behind the mask “Your worst enemy can easily be turned into your fiercest ally, as long as you know what their loyalty costs.”

Hunter let his words settle slowly, carefully, picking them apart inside his head.

The Fortuna family was one he had known of his entire life, even crossing paths with them - with how involved Belos was with them. Magnus, in particular, was a familiar face in the palace, and Hunter had crossed paths with the matriarch as well - an older woman with eyes of fire. The fact that Belos himself regarded them so highly made this confession all the more surprising: that their loyalty had not always been one inclined to his Titan-bestowed rule. That Isabella herself opposed him.

That is, until she didn’t.

Until she became a key figure in popularising the, at the time controversial, coven system. Isabella Fortuna's staunch support during this time became an open secret nowadays, in a way, after most of the main family became more recluse, and sources on what happened half a century ago became lost.

People forget fast, afterall.

But Hunter did not. Even if these events all happened way before his time, Belos never let him forget - he seemed way too pleased, way too giddy whenever the topic of the Fortunas would get brought up in any way, shape, or form. Like he was savouring every single moment of their undying support.

Perhaps he enjoyed the irony of it? Who's to say.

Hunter’s attention, however, was soon stolen away, as the door to Belos’ bedchambers opened. For a brief moment, the sound of laughter was louder, and joyful conversation reached his ears. Magnus stood by the now open door as he continued to speak to the woman inside “I’ll be waiting patiently to take you home, then.” the older man spoke in a tone Hunter had never heard come from him before. Not in all the years he’d seen him shadowing Osran.

Soft and loving. Happy.

Hunter didn’t know he could do that.

As soon as Magnus closed the doors behind him, it was an instant change in demeanour. The cheerful facade dropped, and Hunter had to stop himself from buckling under the aggressive energy emanating from the man.

Yeah, that was more familiar of what he knew of the Fortuna.

“Emperor.” Magnus acknowledged, now in full business mode “Golden Guard.”

“Magnus.” Belos nodded back “From what I could hear, I trust she is in good spirits, yes?”

Hunter could not help but notice the man's lips twitch, just barely, into a deeper scowl "My dearest niece is doing well, my lord." He let out, voice even and contained "And it is all thanks to the expert care you have provided." Magnus bowed his head as he continued "You have my gratitude, my lord, as well as the gratitude of my entire family. Truly we are in your debt."

"There is no need for that. After all, I have grown to cherish your niece dearly - making sure no harm comes to her is the least I can do."

The glee behind his words was more than obvious, Hunter noted. Bubbling just under the surface.

"Of course, Emperor." Magnus answered courtly, then grimaced for a short moment, before schooling his expression back "And I do apologise if I was at any point short with you during these past critical hours. Emotions were high, and I let them overtake me despite knowing better."

Belos got up from his seat, hands placed neatly behind his back as he casually walked past the sofa and to the Fortuna prodigy "Worry muddles even the most rational of minds." He placed a hand on his shoulder, tilting his head before he continued "Do not dwell on it, as I have not taken any offence." Belos removed his hand from Magnus’ shoulder and placed it behind his back once more "Now." He started cheerfully "Feel free to go back to your duties. I shall call for you when Selena is ready to go home."

Magnus gave a curt bow of his head, hand to his heart, and made a swift exit.

It was a full minute of uneasy silence before Belos spoke again, as if waiting to make sure the man left fully out of earshot. "See how easily even the most brutish of witches can be tamed, Hunter?" Belos hummed in a low tone "As long as you know their price."

"Yes, uncle."

Belos chuckled softly, amused "Now, let's check up on our little hero, shall we?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

With a knock, and not waiting for a proper response, either, Belos let himself - and Hunter - into his bedchambers.

Hunter could not pinpoint the weird feeling of seeing… well, anyone , really, occupying his uncle's bed, let alone in such a state. Sure, Hunter reasoned, she was in there to receive care, no other reason. But he had never seen anyone enter his uncle's bedchambers, ever . And - Wait, was that his uncle's sleep shirt?! Thank the Titan for his mask being in place, because Hunter couldn't stop the cringing grimace he made.

It felt similar to the feeling of realising your parents were intimate together. Even though they weren't his parents, and they for sure were not intimate in any sense of the word.

"Emperor, Hunt- Golden Guard, it's a pleasure to see you." Selena quickly corrected herself, all the while smiling brightly at the two "Thank you for giving my uncle and I a moment of privacy, my lord."

"Miss Fortuna!" Hunter jumped in, nerves getting the best of him. "I, uh, I'm glad to see you in good health, ma'am." Hunter spoke formally, back straight and head held high.

"T-thank you, Golden Guard." Selena was sincere, if a bit nervous. Still wary of accidentally stepping on his toes like she did before - she did not want to address the boy too casually, lest he got angry with her again.

"I hope you don't mind-" the two turned their attention to Belos, feeling thankful for his interruption and breaking up the weird, awkward air between them "-but Hunter was incredibly worried last night, I just had to let him see you."

Using his name in front of her, on purpose, and not sounding angry whilst doing so? Selena raised an eyebrow, feeling as if something had changed, but wasn't quite sure what .

"Oh, no, no I don't mind, not at all. I'm touched, actually, that you were worried, Golden Guard." Selena's lips twitched upwards, giving a lopsided smile. Hunter just nodded, not sure what to say.

"I knew you wouldn't." Belos sounded smug as he said that. "Ah, and I believe you had something you wished to tell our guest, if I'm not mistaken?" He pushed, one hand placed on Hunter's back "Isn't that right, Hunter?"

Hunter looked up at his uncle, nodding, and turned to Selena once more. He cleared his throat and placed one hand behind his back, the other clenched in a fist on his chest "Thank you for protecting the Emperor, miss Fortuna. Your acts of heroism are an inspiration to me and my entire coven."

Selena blinked owlishly as he gave her a short bow "Your coven...oh, oh right, you're now the head of the Emperors Coven!" No wonder he always seemed to be stressed, with the weight his uncle put on him. A coven head, at his age? "And, uh, you're welcome, Golden Guard. I like to think I've done what anyone else would do, if put in my place, so don't dwell on it too much, haha."

Please. Don't dwell on it too much.

As Hunter stood there, Belos by his side, his hands fidgeted - fingers flexing anxiously as he tried to form words. He practised them! He really did, thinking of any and every possible way to put his thoughts in order and to speak to her as soon as she was better. But now, he was pulling up blanks, which in return made him all the more nervous.

The hand on his back put a little more pressure "Ahem." Belos chimed in "Are you sure that's all you wanted to say?"

"I, uh, no, there was… there was more." Hunter stumbled over his words "Miss Fortuna, I-" his uncle clearing his throat again took Hunter's attention and he looked up at him. The man very casually brought up his free hand close to his own face, and with one finger rapped gently on the mask twice. A clear sign that Hunter was quick to react to "Oh right." He fumbled a bit, posture relaxing as he did, and brought his hands up to his head. In one swift move, his mask was off, revealing a pair of crimson eyes and a nervous, gap toothed nervous smile.

Selena's hand flew to her lips on instinct to muffle the gasp that escaped her.

"I wanted to-"

Hunter started on his speech which he has repeated so many times to himself the eve before, but was quickly interrupted. The woman on the bed was scrambling out of the sheets - she sat upon her knees at the edge of the bed, pulling on the long men's sleep shirt she wore to cover her legs as much as she could, and grabbed her glasses from the night table, putting them on.

"Goodness, Darius wasn't kidding when he called you little prince , look at you!" She started, giddy beyond belief "Come here, closer , I gotta take a good look at you!" She made grabby hands, beckoning him over, all the prim and guarded air around her from seconds ago gone.

Hunter, rightfully so, seemed nervous, eyes flying up to Belos for a hint, anything , on what he should do. Maybe even hoping he'd get him out of this all together, but alas, Belos simply tilted his head in a "well go on" gesture, and pushed on his back before withdrawing his hand fully. So there was not much he could do apart from obeying the awaiting woman, crossing the room until he stood a foot away from the bed.

He saw the oracle's eyes sparkle, comically so "Oh, now I get why you wear the mask - if you didn't you'd have to beat the teenage population of the Boiling Isles away from you with a stick!" She joked, giggling to herself.

"Why…would I beat up teenagers?" Hunter asked so truthfully, it almost hurt

"Wha- Hunter, I'm not saying literally , I'm calling you handsome !" Selena was somewhat taken aback by his response, but laughed either way, finding it endearing "Haven’t you ever received a compliment before?" Behind him, Hunter heard his uncle stifle a laugh. Selena frowned as she looked over his shoulder. She twisted her lips, before they widened into a smirk, eyes sparkling for a brief second.

"Is that why your uncle hides behind a mask as well?"

Belos immediately broke his laugh with a cough, turning quiet at that comment. And in return, Selena's face beamed with pride and mischief, before turning her attention back to Hunter.

"You…think I'm handsome?" The boy blushed, hand smoothing his hair back nervously as he did.

"Look at you! Fair hair, striking eyes, such royal features! Witches your age dream about boys like you, for sure!" She assured him. The little smile growing on Hunter's face was the sweetest thing Selena had seen all week. It was always sad to her, just how little boys got praised in such a way: given compliments, called pretty, when they were so hungry for them.

Every single person likes being called pretty, it doesn't matter who or what they are.

The little bashful smile didn't last long, as Hunter seemed to have gathered his wits and shook his head, trying to concentrate and get back on track "Wait, wait, wait, stop ! That's not why I wanted to see you! Stop doing that!"

"Stop doing what?"

"That!" He huffed, annoyed "You - interrupting me! You- keep breaking my train of thought!"

"Oh!" Selena put a hand to her lips, faux aghast "Okay, okay, I'll stop, go ahead please." She sat more properly, placing her hands on her knees and straightening her back, looking poignantly at the boy. She gave him a little nod and put on the most serious face she could muster.

Finally, Hunter thought, and cleared his throat "Miss Fortuna. I want to apologise for my behaviour when we last met. It was unbecoming of me, both as the heir to the throne and as the head of the Emperor's coven. You did nothing to deserve such horrid treatment, and I hope you can forgive me." He bowed his head low, waiting for her response.

But, for some reason, he got… none . Nothing, except silence. And it was starting to make him nervous. Slowly, just enough so he could see her expression, he lifted his head, peering through one eye, only to snap his head completely up, fully in shock, once he caught a glimpse of her face. The Oracle in front of him was absolutely giddy. Her hands were clasped together in front of her face, palm to palm, and then there was her smile - so wide it looked like it hurt her cheeks from the strain. Her eyes were wide and sparkling, with little tiny tears in the corners. And, all the while, she kept making the weirdest, high pitched noise, rising in pitch the longer it went.

What…what in the world…?

"You even sound like a prince!" Selena finally let out, albeit too loudly and high pitched. She squeezed her hands into fists, which in return started shaking with excitement, all the while bouncing up and down on the bed "Oh, oh I'm doing it again, aren't I?" She sounded apologetic, even though her face didn't quite show it. "I'm so sorry, I can't help myself, you're such a sweet young man!"

At this point, Hunter was sure his face was red from how hot it felt. He couldn't even tell for sure if he was embarrassed, or flattered, or annoyed, or maybe all three - he didn't often deal with people complimenting him. With people… being so nice .

"You're, uh, not mad at me?" He let out, meekly. The tone of his voice seemed to have finally put an end to Selena's bubbly outburst.

"I mean, I was more distraught than mad." Selena cleared her throat, chasing away the former high "The last thing I wanted to do was upset you, and that ended up being exactly what I did. So that didn't…feel good." Her eyes fluttered behind him briefly "Especially since the Emperor warned me not to be so pushy with you, and I insisted I knew better." She let out a nervous laugh "If anything, I should be the one apologising to you both."

The young royal was about to tell her there was no need for an apology on her part, he just wanted this entire thing to be over and to make sure she didn't hate him. Even though, he thought, she had every right to. However, he was startled into silence by his uncle, who somehow managed to sneak up on them both without either noticing.

"Oh, there is no need for that, Selena." Belos spoke as he passed him, going straight to sit on the edge of the bed, right next to the oracle. Her shoulders tensed as he placed a hand against her cheek, turning her face towards him "Despite your… lapse of judgement, I cannot hold it against you, as I know it came from a heart full of compassion." His fingers moved, pushing stray hairs behind her ear "Naive as it is, unfortunately."

"Unfortunately." She muttered under her breath, half-heartedly. The feeling of fingers pushing harder behind her ear, however, made her elicit a small hiss through her nose.

A warning, for getting too cheeky in her responses.

"I do admire the love you hold for all the children of the Isles." Belos continued, like his nails weren't currently leaving indents in her skin "But it is a tedious thing, I admit, having to make sure no one takes advantage of such childlike naivete." The pressure finally lessened, and Selena's eyes twitched as she felt the nails unstick from the flesh they were pressing into "Do be careful of lesser men, will you?"

The way Belos gently, just barely, tilted his head to the side, adjacent shoulder rising up as he did, it felt incredibly mocking - condescending.

"Of course, Emperor." Selena did her best to smile back, biting her tongue "I will try my best. As you should as well, not to mistake my compassion with naiveté, that is" She added in cheekily "Though, compared to you, any man is a lesser man. Who can measure up to the messenger of the Titan, afterall."

Belos exhaled loudly through his nose in a barely stifled laugh. And if she could see his face, Selena would have been greeted by the most smug, annoying smirk ever to grace a witches face, a clear show that what he thought about that statement of hers was "Yes, exactly. So do not trust other men but me."

"Now, don't be cheeky." He answered instead, hand moving back to her cheek, giving it a gentle pinch as he did. He gave her head a tiny shake, as if she were a child being greeted by aunts they see twice a year. As soon as he let go, Selena's hand flew up to her face, cheeks puffing up in an indignant pout, as she proceeded to rub the (not really) sore spot.

What a cute expression, Belos thought, it reminded him of a feral little kitten trying to look big and scary.

The two had their attention taken away from each other when Hunter - still awkwardly standing next to them - let out a nervous cough. Selena was the first one to gain her composure, smiling widely at him, as if nothing happened just seconds before "In any case, Hunter! Thank you for apologising." She exclaimed brightly, " I'm happy to know there is no ill will between us."

"Of course not, miss Fortuna." Hunter was quick to respond, head still spinning from watching the two interact so … casually? More importantly, seeing Belos , of all people, interact with someone so casually. All he saw was friendly banter, of course, not the threat behind the Emperor's touch, and it felt wildly unnatural to witness.

Like he was intruding on something intimate.

Hunter saw how Belos eyed him carefully. "If the worries you have carried from last night have been lifted, Hunter, then you're free to go back to your duties." He gestured to the woman next to him "Our miss Selena here needs to rest as much as possible before Hettie dismisses her from our care, you see."

"Oh, there is no need to send him away." Selena quickly interrupted, eyes flying between Belos and Hunter. She felt more confident, somehow safer , when not alone with Belos. So, going by what she knew of him so far, and desperate enough to attempt such a thing again, she pushed a little further, covering the Emperor's hand with her own "If he wishes to stay, he should feel free to do so, don't you agree, my lord?"

And it seemed to work, at least she thought it did. She felt the man next to her freeze up, if just for a brief moment, as her hand gently covered his own, palm so small compared to his. Selena gave him a hopeful look, hoping it would aid in breaking his determination.

It took longer than usual for Belos to answer her.

"Hunter has his duties to think of, both as the Golden Guard and a coven head." Belos started slowly, building up his resolve "I am afraid he really can't stay long." He turned back to Hunter, staring him down "Isn't that right, Hunter?"

And the boy's reaction was instant obedience, just like Selena had seen many times before "Emperor Belos is right, miss Fortuna. I have my duties to attend to."

Oh so close, but she was afraid to push his good graces further. Selena tried her best to not purse her lips in disappointment "Of course, I understand."

With one last bow, and with his heart feeling lighter than a feather, Hunter bid his goodbye to the two, leaving the room in a swift manner. He took the mask he held in his hands and secured it back in place, jumping back into his Golden Guard persona.

And as he did finally leave, Selena let out a deep sigh. While the boy felt lighter than a feather as his guilt alleviated, she, in fact, did not.

Especially not while she was stuck alone with him .

"Don't sound so disappointed." Belos chimed in "Am I such bad company that you do not wish to be alone with me?" He teased - very brazenly so, in fact.

The way her entire face lit up red in a matter of seconds was comical to behold "Wha- no! I'd never- I never said that, Emperor!" The woman stuttered as her voice reached entirely new heights in its pitch. And as soon as she did, Belos broke into a laugh, pleased to have caused the exact reaction he wanted from her "Mean! That was mean of you, Emperor!" Selena let out a whine, as it didn't take her long to figure out that he was intentionally making her fumble over herself.

It was instinctual, the way she hit his shoulder with her open palm. Afterall, she was the youngest of three, and used to being (lovingly) teased and fighting back when it did happen - in the same loving way, of course. And being the youngest, even she was aware that she was more spoiled than her older siblings, so it wasn't a rare occasion that her bratty side would come out.

But it usually came out with people she was close to, who she was friendly with.

Not with the man who, if he knew who she truly was, would want her dead - or worse .

Selena caught herself only after her palm made contact with the Emperor's arm - not a hard hit by any means, but to her it felt like it burned the second she had done it. She gasped as the mortification hit her all at once, struggling to decide whether to soothe the place she hit, or get as far away from him as possible, that she just remained rooted in place instead, so paralysed by horror, that she didn't even notice that Belos barely even registered what she had done.

"Oh, Titan below, I am so sorry, I didn't - I mean I, I don't-"

Belos, laughter still in his throat, turned to look at her "What ever do you mean?"

"I- I just - my lord, I was - I didn't mean to hit you, I forgot myself-"

"Goodness, Selena dear, you're working yourself into a tizzy." His laugh had subsided into a chuckle "Weren't you the one who broached the subject of us being friends first?"

Selena was caught off guard by that. She was , wasn't she? When she asked for his favour in dealing with Odalia Blight, that's when she officially marked their relationship a friendship. "I suppose I was, my lord."

With both hands, Belos took hold of her face, squishing her cheeks together "Then what is this all about, Selena?" He chastised playfully, his face very close to hers "If we are to be friends, you can't be having a panic attack whenever you behave friendly towards me, hmm?" He chuckled. His eyes were in clear view, Selena noted, the smiling crinkles in the corner of his eyes and the deep blue shining even in the shadows of his mask, making her head spin "Why, how do you think that makes me feel, having to walk on eggshells around you all the time?"

Selena quickly looked to the side, suddenly feeling ashamed. "Not… good, I suppose."

"Not good indeed." Belos sighed "Promise you will try for me?"

"Yes, Emperor Belos."

She heard him exhale through his nose in a small laugh "That is what I like to hear.” Belos spoke, pleased as one can be, and reached over to the night table adjacent to the bed. “Now, I have been thinking of ways to make sure both you and I stay safe in the face of current events.” He opened the drawer, taking out a box that comfortably fit in his open palm. “I wanted to assign guards to watch you, to make sure you are safe. However, perhaps this needs a more… subtle approach.-'' he presented the box to the oracle, opening it for her to see inside.

Selena felt cold sweat wash over her instantly, goosebumps running down her spine.

Bad news . Real bad news .

The oracle sixth sense never slept. Not really. And the moment Selena saw the rose gold brooch, shaped like a blooming carnation, it instantly sent off blaring alarms in her head.

Her throat felt dry as she struggled to speak “Ah, well…” she paused, trying her best not to grimace “Hmm, that's a very pretty brooch, how… how exactly would it work?”

Belos placed the box on his lap, taking the brooch out and holding it up to let her have a closer look. “Nothing too complex, it carries a magical insignia embedded inside of it.” He moved closer, making Selena freeze as his adept fingers attached the brooch to the men's shirt she wore. To her left side, above her breast “And when it is in contact with a specific wearer, the insignia will let off a unique energy - one which I can effortlessly recognise.”

The moment the pin was safely in place, Selena could feel exactly what he described. She could sense the hum of magic coming from the brooch, it felt like it was calibrating to her own magic.

She hoped to Titan that it wouldn't see past her removable sigil.

“There we go.” Belos purred, pleased. With his right hand, he pressed his middle and forefinger, now glowing red, to the carnation, his magic seeping into it as he did.

And Selena felt the calibration lock into place, now replaced by a steady, unique magical aura. She let her fingers gingerly graze over the petals.

“Did- did it work?” Selena asked, looking down to inspect the jewellery piece.

“Like a charm.” He answered, satisfied.

That only made her feel more uneasy. She couldn't wait to say take the damned thing off.

“Do… you like carnations, Emperor?” She tried switching the subject, hoping to lessen her unease.

“They are… satisfactory, as far as flowers go.”

Selena licked her lips nervously before continuing “Did you know, pink carnations mean that one will not forget you?” She blabbered absentmindedly “You know, since this is rose gold and all.”

“Ah, the language of flowers.” Belos chimed in, almost too gleeful “Hmm, is that so? I must say, I'm not well versed in this specific art.”

“It's somewhat old and forgotten, though some knowledge of it still remains, especially in potion making.” Selena remained focused on the brooch “I had a phase when I was younger, thinking I was so smart, when I learned a lot about it and wanted to send secret messages. Turns out it's not effective when the one receiving flowers does not know the meaning.”

Belos chuckled, “Yes, I see how that could pose a problem.” He continued “So, giving a pink carnation would signify that I will never forget you, then?”

“Y-yes, that is correct.”

“Well then, I suppose the gift fits perfectly then, in more ways than one.”

The oracle felt her entire face warm up, and quickly turned away from him in an attempt to hide it “W-well, it's a good thing you hadn't picked just gold then. Yellow carnations mean rejection and disappointment.” she let out a nervous laugh “Wouldn't that be something, haha~”

“Hmm, if that were the case, I'd have had the entire thing remade.”

Selena paused, somehow that statement made her mind go blank. That was sweet. Why was that sweet?! Worst of all, why did she consider it as such, because even if it was objectively a sweet sentiment, she of all people should not have considered it to be one. Not from him. Not towards her.

So why did it make her heart skip a beat for just a single, solitary second?

Her hands were shaking as they reached for the brooch, jaw clenched tight as she struggled to take it off. “I'll make sure to wear it whenever I come to visit, then.” She let out with all the niceness she could physically muster, feeling instant relief when she finally unclasped the damned thing “But for now, it'd be a shame for something to happen to it, don't you agree?” she took hold of his hand which held the jewellery box, bringing it closer to her. Forcing the shakes off, she managed to place the brooch back into the velvet box, gently pushing the Emperor's hand back to him.

“Please, don't let me forget to take it when I leave?” She asked sweetly, letting her thumb trace a pattern into the back of Belos’ hand “I'd hate to leave such a thoughtful gift behind.”

And it seemed that this time, at least, her charm worked, as Belos’ posture seemed to relax, and without objecting he placed the jewellery box back on the night table. Turning back, he mirrored her actions from before, his hand covering hers as his thumb pressed softly into her wrist, feeling her heartbeat.

“Of course, Selena. I'll make sure you remember.”

#the owl house #the oracle bakery #philip wittebane #philip wittebane x oc #emperor belos #emperor belos x oc #fanfiction #reader insert #self insert

34 notes · View notes

itwasthisorthemilitary · 2 months

Text

February 19, 2024

One week since I left Mass! Today was also the first day of classes which I was so excited for to see the other volunteers again (it's been 2 days and we miss them a lot) and the routine of being in classes is something we were all looking forward too.

This was huge, some of you know how cripplingly anxious I was about my Spanish not being good enough and I was just convinced that I would be sent home because of it. So TODAY the language facilitator came up to me and Micah and explained that we are being moved to a higher level Spanish class for the following week because our teachers thought we were too comfortable in the level we were in. Any doubts I had in myself went down the drain. And most importantly the conversation about being moved up a level took place entirely in Spanish and I understood like 90% of it. Major win.

Also we found out that at the end of next week we are each visiting an active volunteer in a different part of the country and it's entirely up to us to travel to these locations. I'm headed to Los Santos to meet a current CEC volunteer named Stephanie. The goal is to see what life is like while they are at their cite, ask them questions, and build our confidence in our future site placements. I'm so excited!

Impossible to put everything into words. I miss y'all state bound.

10 notes · View notes

lumenflowered · 4 months

Text

Hello. My name is Maria—nothing more, nothing less. I am a Faller hailing from a place known as Yharnam, though I am currently in the Johto region. It is a less harsh place than what I am used to; I would not recommend requesting further information regarding Yharnam unless you are mentally prepared.

Out of a lack of anything better to do after falling here, I embarked upon the Gym Challenge. At the time of writing this, I bear seven of the eight Johtonian badges, and intend to attain the eighth as soon as I have recovered enough to travel.

As of less than a week ago, I have been Chosen as a champion of sorts by Ho-oh, a Pokémon with power tantamount to the gods of my former world. While I still have rather complicated feelings regarding the matter, the gods of this world are considerably kinder than those I am used to, and doing this allowed me to put an end to Team Rocket's machinations once and for all.

My team is as follows: Rakuyo (Meganium, X) Hunter (Furret, F) Molotov (Arcanine, M) Adeline (Gengar, F) Evelyn (Seadra, F) Eileen (Honchkrow, F)

Adeline, my Gengar, rather likes to steal my device and make posts for herself—she is considerably better with this world's technology than I, so I have no qualms with this—and her commentary can be found in purple.

Though this has thus far only occurred once twice thrice, Ho-oh has utilized this platform and blog to communicate directly with me and others before, and they have done so in bold orange text. They have recently adopted another name in addition to their first: Solaire.

A very angry child named Silver, who inexplicably decided to form a rather one-sided rivalry with a grown woman, is unlikely to be on the blog again given how much the anonymous masses of Rotomblr set back my progress in having a reasonable conversation with him. However, while he was posting here, he used blue.

I am more than happy to discuss a great many things. Do keep in mind that I hail from a far deadlier place than this one, should you care to ask about my past prior to Johto.

...I still would rather like to know why and how I am here at all.

(OOC info under cut.)

Sup, it's still @ofstormsandfire getting perhaps a little too invested in my silly little blog where I throw a Bloodborne boss into the world of pokemon. I really wanted to make a faller blog of some kind, and promised myself that I could if I survived Nanowrimo, and... then I did. And went well, alright, Lady Maria's going to have a great time in Johto!

(That was sarcasm. Though honestly even a terrible time in Johto is an improvement over what she's used to.)

Do keep in mind that Maria is in fact a Bloodborne boss and as such will be unfazed by things that would disturb the vast majority of characters. I'll happily tag things as necessary, just ask if I've missed something you would like tagged.

Here's some navigational tags for y'all. If/when I actually reach the conclusion of this blog's story maybe I'll make more.

#firebird arc: I smashed together the Radio Tower plot and the Ho-oh plot, made the Kimono Girls more relevant, and also ramped up the stakes a little. Called that because Ho-oh is a firebird and also I'm 90% sure there's a kind of rocket called the Firebird. I like puns. I also put way too much effort into this and I regret nothing.

#the vampire allegations: A couple of people made jokes about Maria being a vampire. Admittedly, she is from Cainhurst which is the closest Bloodborne gets to proper vampires, and I thought it would be really funny to have her be allergic to garlic for legitimately mundane reasons.

#rainbow wings: That time Ho-oh showed up on the blog specifically to tell Maria to take a break. Same tag is used whenever Ho-oh turns up. (It's been like three times now.)

#what's with this sassy lost child?: The Silver takeover. For some reason the last couple posts just aren't showing up in the tag despite being tagged with exactly the same thing, but he got Pelipper Mailed bad memories of his dad and promptly dipped.

#hints to the future: Bits of prose foreshadowing things to come, because I got really into that one ask game with the gears.

#ooc: making this my new pinned post woo!#pokeblogging #pokeblogging intro #pokemon irl #rotomblr #pokeblog rp

9 notes · View notes

angsty-twihardxx · 1 year

Text

Heartbreak Led Me Back to You | E.M

Chapter 3 | I'm Not Letting You Go Again

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Summary | You and Eddie were childhood friends, best friend even. When your life changes drastically you runaway from Hawkins, leaving Eddie and Wayne without a goodbye. But when things go wrong she has no choice but to go back, a second chance for the two to finally admit their feelings.

Warnings | (18+) Adult Themes that some may find upsetting, mentions of abuse, alcohol/drug abuse, slurs directed at reader(f), swearing, angst, sexual references and eventual smut. Pls let me know if I missed anything x

@haylaansmii (if you would like to be added to the series taglist lemme know x)

The rising sun cast a rosy hue across the morning sky, golden fingers of sunlight lit through the lace curtains and into your room. The just-risen sun shone softly onto the pillow where you slept. As you woke you let out a groan as you stretched your stiff limbs. The few moments of rest dissipated when your alarm went off, signaling for you to get started with the day. Making you think of everything you needed to do with the few hours you had in the morning.

After nearly two hours you had gotten distracted with Christopher at breakfast, the both of you thoroughly enjoying the morning cartoons with your cereal. Now you were in the living room digging through some boxes looking for the blouse you brought to match the slacks you currently had on.

“Christopher, buddy are you ready?” You shouted to your son who was in his bedroom deciding what toys he wanted to take with him, a paramount decision for a three year old. You wish that was the hardest decision you had to make lately. With no answer from your son you continued with the numerous tasks that needed to be ticked off your never ending list.

Multi-tasking was a skill you now exceeded at, you were dressing yourself, throwing clothes out of boxes that sat on the dining table instead of their place in your room. All while packing a bag for your son so he could have everything he needed to spend the day with Wayne. You probably forgot something, probably multiple things actually– much like your now cold cup of coffee that sat dormant on the kitchen counter.

You zipped his bag as he came through with his arms full of teddies, at tiny fraction of the large mass that sat in the corner of his room. “Mommy I don’t know which ones to take.” He shrugged, the three teddies that he cuddled tight jiggled as he did so. His big doe eyes beamed at you by the hallway, looking at you for an answer for a life or death decision. It made your heart gush seeing how excited he was to go spend the day with Wayne. The two loved spending time together, it reminded you of all the times you had spent with him when you were younger.

It had been around a month since the two of you arrived back home and Chris had been over at their trailer almost everyday, Wayne insisted on having the two of you over.

“Hell, we’ll bring all of them.” You finally answered with a wide grin that made your crows feet stand out. He jumped with excitement as you opened the door for him, his mousy hair bounced against his shoulders as the two of you walked together on the dirt path towards the Munsons trailer.

The familiar van was parked beside the home, making you tense up as you took a step closer. Being around Eddie was– awkward. Neither of you had really been ignoring each other but not yet talking about anything. The only real conversation the two of you have had was the one where he stood awkwardly on your patio. “Wayne told me to come check on you.” You wondered if he really only did it because Wayne told him too. If he did well then you guess you didn’t deserve to be his priority anymore.

You knocked on the trailer door softly, not wanting to startle him at his front door anymore than you already have. He eventually grumbled, opening the door for the two of you and quickly retreating to where he was making his coffee. “Y’still have a key don’t you?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Well use it! Y'know you don't have to keep knocking on the door.” He sipped his coffee like it was his life source. “I didn’t wake you did I?” You quickly changed the subject“Don’t be silly Y/N, you excited Christopher?” He clapped his hands, gaining your son's attention, who nodded ferociously. “Good, because I have a surprise for you. When your mom was little, I made her the best ice cream sundaes–”

“Oh no.” You groaned, bringing a hand to your face, knowing damn well what he was talking about. The sugary sweet dessert that left you bouncing off the walls and a sugar induced coma. “Pretty sure there's an age restriction for that amount of sugar Wayne.” Eddie's tired voice groaned down the hallway, shuffling to the kitchen where he made himself a coffee. His hair was an absolute nest, he was adorned in a band tee and ripped black jeans, pretty sure you got that shirt with him. It had more rips and tears in it than before but it looked good. “Hey you two had it and you're completely fine.”

The playful banter between the two Munsons made you chuckle, they never have changed. You and Eddie scoffed at the same time, rolling your eyes at Waynes irony, did you really turn out fine? Eddie’s eyes moved to you in bewilderment, he found it strange, almost surprised you still remembered them, let alone memories of him and Wayne and ice cream sundaes.

You were the one that left them for your perfect family, maybe it got too perfect for you. Is that why you came back?

“Please don’t give him too much Wayne.” You pleaded with the older man, knowing that it was a lost cause. Wayne always spoiled you kids, you can imagine he will continue that with Christopher. “Didn’t take you for a health nut.” Eddie muttered into his mug, loud enough that he knew you would hear.

He received a fierce nudge from Wayne, who glared at him, don't be stupid boy, his eyes spoke daggers at his nephew who merely responded with a shrug. Maybe he just woke up on the side of the bed.

You had your response ready to fire back at Eddie, wipe that stupid smug off his stupid face, but your anger quickly dissapeared as your son wrapped his arms tightly around your leg. With a quick kiss to subdue the toddler you then turned your attention to Wayne. "He loves The Muppet Movie, he's literally obsessed with it. It’s in his bag if he asks alright. I won't be long, I just have a few errands I–”

“Go! Be free, we will be fine won't we Christopher?” Wayne hushed your flicking his hands to get out. “Ok bye hon, be good alright?” You embraced your son, giving him a quick kiss on his cheek as you stood up and heading to the door. Your eyes stopped on Eddies again for a quick moment, almost to ask him what his problem was, but he quickly adverted his eyes. Whatever, fuck him.

You fumbled for your keys as you swore under your breath, in a rush to unlock your car, today was really important.

Before leaving to Hawkins you organised a job interview at a small local clinic in the main street. When Christoper was only a baby you were dedicated to continuing college, and a short time after you finished your nursing degree.

You had not yet been able to put your practices into fruition when Michael insisted you stayed home with your son, which did make sense so you never complained.

Hawkins was a fresh start, you were going to work– and no man was going to stop you.

The sound of your name being called out behind you made you twist around, Eddie was running towards you. He frantically tried to get his arm through the sleeve of his leather jacket, his hair was still a mess and you knew he wouldn’t plan on changing that.

What could he possibly want now? He was a dick to you just minutes ago, wanting to add more salt into your invisible wounds you presumed. “If you want to tell me how to raise my kid again Munson, then you can just leave–”

“No! Look, I’m sorry for being an ass. I just– can I come with? I thought we could maybe talk.” His doe eyes looked at you with caution, pleading with you to let him but you would never one to say no to him. “Sure,” you sighed, falling into your seat.

“Surprised you fit everything in this thing.” Eddie grunted as he squeezed into the passenger seat next to you, it felt foreign having him so close to you. Ignoring the heat growing onto your cheeks. You sensed the hint of humour in his voice so you figured he was in a better mood then he was in the trailer. “Hey, don’t hate on the pacer. Besides, I didn't have much to take with us.” You hadn’t meant to sound so sad at the end, maybe Eddie wouldn’t notice?

But he definitely did, his heart twinged for you. There had been times where he was laying on his bed strumming his guitar, he thought about what life for the both of you would be like if he got to you before you left. Would he be able to convince you to stay with him? He didn’t know why you came back, Wayne saying it’s not his business to tell.

Maybe if you stayed he could’ve helped you, both him and Wayne-your real family.

He didn’t even know himself if he really did want to know, whether it would upset him too much. He could just tell by the way you held yourself, you were different, maybe not the same Y/N he remembered all those years ago.

“I saw the boxes that night, they looked like mostly toys to me.” He joked, liking the smile that appeared on your face. It was–different, what topics did you talk about now? Maybe Eddie was just overthinking everything with you, it’s been nearly four fucking years. Hell you had a kid, you weren’t interested in DnD anymore, were you?

“Yeah I didn’t have the heart to leave any of his stuff behind y’know?”

“And what about you?” He asked genuinely, you were always selfless. It wouldn’t surprise him if you left all your stuff behind just to fit an extra toy for Christopher. It reminded him of the times when the kids at school would take his lunch, every time it happened, no matter what you would give him some of yours, even if it was the only thing you got to eat that day.

“I mean I didn’t really have much, just some clothes and photos. You know me, I’ve never had a lot.” You shrugged, eyes staying on the road, scared that if you looked at his eyes you wouldn’t be able to stop.

The rest of the drive was met with a mostly comfortable silence, it felt strange having him so close to you again, maybe you were expecting him to hate your guts and not want to even look at you, you wouldn’t blame him. “I’m going to go to a few places, meet you in like an hour?”

“Y-yeah, how about lunch? That diner you loved so much is still around.”

“I should probably go back too–”

“It doesn’t have to be long, please Y/N.” He spun in his seat to face you, his eyes pleading with you. He deserved this much. Wayne did tell you to go out, Christopher enjoyed spending time with him so he probably won’t notice you gone for a little while. What was the worst that could happen? “Fine, meet you there in an hour?”

“Deal.”

. . .

Your interview at the clinic was a success, they seemed to be desperate which made it easier. Maybe everything would work out back in Hawkins? Happy with yourself you beamed as you walked into the diner, and lo and behold Eddie was there waiting for you. His curls are what stuck out above the booth, he seemed to be deep in thought barely noticing you until you threw your bag across from him. “What’s got you so happy?” He cocked an eyebrow inquisitively, returning him with a smirk. “I had a job interview over at the clinic on the main street, and I-uh I got it, I start Monday.” You shrugged in disbelief, if you were being honest you thought they would’ve thrown your application away for someone with experience. “That’s amazing!” Eddie beamed at you, it was nice to see him be happy for you after all these years, it felt so natural.

The two of you ordered your food– the usual, burgers and a milkshake. You decided now was as good a time then ever to put your heart on your sleeves. “Wayne told me that you overhead me, that night at the river.” You fiddled with your fingers as you tried to find the words, a nervous habit of yours since you were a kid. You were still Y/N.

“I-uh, did, but it was a total accident. I didn’t mean to–”

“I wanted to tell you, I really did. I guess I was just scared of how you’d react– Wayne too.” Your eyes lifted up to his for a brief moment, his eyes were full of confusion. His hands onto the table, cupping together as the side of his hand lightly grazed yours, your skin burnt at the touch. “I couldn’t handle the thought of the two of you being disappointed in me, so I guess I just went with the easier route.” Eddie's eyes stayed glued onto you as your eyes stayed on your hands, he knew you needed the space to let everything out. Give him your side.

If there was ever a time where you were upset, he knew to give you your space to come to him, also being a child of abuse he knew that being cornered with questions only made you worse. If you needed time he was willing to give it to you.

“I was miserable without you guys, I was so scared. I had no idea what the hell I was doing Eddie and I just–” Your chest heaved as you were forced to stop your ramblings with your waitress handing the two of you your food. Ignoring the tingling prickle of tears that you were keeping in, you took a sip from your shake. “Y/N,” Eddie’s velvet voice made you finally bring your eyes to him, the golden orbs were filled with sincerity. “I’ve known you since we were kids, do you really think that any of this would change that? I may be a guy but I’m not an ass.” He nudged your elbow playfully, hoping that you would at least smile. “I guess I wanted to prove myself to you that night, turns out I don’t have self respect like you said.”

“Y/N, I felt horrible after all that, I remember crying to Wayne about how I ruined everything. And then you left– I thought you were gone for good and it was my fault.”

“Guess we are both idiots huh?” You chuckled to yourself in disbelief, making the boy in front of you smile. “Yeah I guess we are. But I uh- I never hated you, for leaving y’know. I can’t imagine how scared you would’ve been, and the fact that I wasn’t there to help you. That’s what hurt the most, we’ve always been there for each other. I told you I’d look after you, I just wish you let me that’s all.” His voice remained level, you know you’ve been practicing this speech with him since forever, maybe he did as well, it was the only way you could explain his sudden level headedness. “Well, I'm back now. I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”

“And I’m not letting you go again, think you’ll have to pry Christopher from Wayne though.” You laughed at his last comment, hiding the redness from your cheeks.

I’m not letting you go again.

#eddie munson #wayne munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #strangerthings #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #joseph quinn x you

71 notes · View notes

caffedrine · 1 year

Text

Keith Howell - Chapter 21 Romantic - Summary

I pretty much have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t trust me, and you shouldn’t either. This summary is not guaranteed to be accurate, it’s mostly written for myself to follow along with the route.

Emma wakes up in a room she’s never seen before. She vaguely remembers trying to find Keith in his room, but it never looked like this. Going through her memories, she remembers going to Keith’s room, before she was grabbed and went unconscious. She realizes that she’s been kidnapped and transported to an unknown place.

Why was she kidnapped? Because she’s Belle?

Looking around the room, Emma doesn’t see anyone else in it. She’s not restrained either, so she decides to use this opportunity to escape.

Unfortunately, the door is locked from the outside. Changing tactics, Emma runs over to the window, only to find that she was so high up from the ground. Even if she stripped the bed and everything else of its linens, she would never be able to make a rope long enough to reach the ground. The lack of restraint isn’t an oversight, it’s that her kidnappers know that she has no chance of escape.

Emma’s hands tremble, and she wonders what she should do next. However, the sound of footsteps outside the door interrupts her thoughts. She retreats to a corner in the room, waiting for the inevitable.

The door bursts open and admits Rio to Sariel’s office. He reports to Sariel and Leon that Emma is nowhere to be found. Sariel has a bad feeling about this; even if they deploy every knight and servant in the castle to search for Emma, he doubts she will be found.

Leon asks if there’s something wrong with the castle security, and Sariel admits to looking into it. It would be a big deal for any member of the court to be kidnapped in the middle of the day, right inside the castle.

Rio asks if they think it’s related to Emma’s carriage attack incident when she was with Keith. Leon admits that he doesn’t know enough to say yes or no to that question, the perpetrators of that incident had committed mass suicide. Then again, there was something Keith had said that still bothered Leon; when Keith had told him that the reasons people would have to attack him are as numerous as the pebbles by the roadside. He asks Rio to look into Jade.

Just as Rio is about to leave, the door swings open to admit Keith himself. He apologizes for interrupting them and asks if Emma is missing. He had a bad feeling; one of the messengers from Jade is missing. They had soiled their uniform and ‘borrowed’ a Rhodolite servant’s uniform while they waited for their normal clothes to be laundered, just a few hours ago.

Rio surmises that the missing messenger masqueraded as a Rhodolite servant, kidnapped Emma, and smuggled her out disguised as luggage. Of course, Rio now has to kill that man.

(No one disagrees with this)

Leon asks why Jade forces would target Emma in particular. Keith points out that they already mostly know the reason. Jade plans on using Emma as a hostage to ensure Keith’s cooperation during the trial.

The King of Jade’s younger brother, Fernand, has always been looking for a way to get rid of Keith. The failure prince is a wall preventing him from being crowned as King of Jade.

Meanwhile, Fernand has taken a comfortable seat and is currently griping to Emma on how he will never become king, not as long as the failure stands in his way. The worst part is, Keith is a genuine failure as a prince who will botch everything; meanwhile, Fernand, who has been toiling for the country, deserves the throne way more.

Emma recalls a conversation she recently had with Keith. He had told her that his father had suspected him of murdering his younger brother, but Keith’s investigation led to circumstantial evidence that it was Fernand, the man before her, who had masterminded the plot.

Emma considers this, standing on guard as far away from Fernand as the room would allow her. However, it is quickly becoming unbearable for her to listen to the slander against Keith.

Headless of Emma, Fernand continues. His achievements and reputation are way better than Keith’s, but the King of Jade refuses to name him as the successor. Even though the King of Jade himself has called Keith a failure, he has named Keith his successor by reason of bloodline alone. Fernand asks Emma if she agrees the King of Jade is absolutely unreasonable for letting this mistake of a human ascend the throne.

Emma asks what Fernand means by ‘mistake of a human’. Everyone has a right to live, there is nothing wrong with being born.

Thanks to Fernand’s prolonged rant, Emma has a decent grasp of the situation. The reason she was kidnapped was to control Keith. Just as she thought, he had not attempted to kill his own father, so now Fernand needs her to ensure the trial goes the way he wants it to. Sariel was right, Fernand is attempting to ursurp the throne by framing Keith.

Emma tells Fernand that unlike him, Keith has the qualities to become a good king. Fernand is somewhat amused and asks her to elaborate.

What a king needs is generosity, decisiveness, and determination. He also needs to be flexible, and willing to listen to people from all walks of life. Someone who wants to improve the well-being and lives of those around him. Keith would be a great king.

Yeah, all that time spent with Keith helped Emma come to her decision as Belle on who the Rhodolite King should be.

Emma goes on to explain that maybe the King of Jade saw and recognized those qualities in Keith as well, which is why he continues to have Keith as his heir. Maybe the king is not taking bloodlines and traditional succession into account, and honestly thinks that Keith would be a great king.

This upsets Fernand, and he kicks over the table, standing up. He approaches Emma and roughly knocks her to the floor. Standing over her, he grabs her hair to haul her back up. It appears he has to ‘educate’ Emma until she can understand that Fernand is the one who is worthy of becoming king.

Back in Rhodolite, Keith has an unusually angry and helpless expression, the likes of which few people have seen. He tells Liam that this whole situation is his fault, because of him, Emma . . . If she is hurt . . .

He’s going to kill Fernand.

Keith’s butler Liam, who is patiently waiting in the room, ignoring the bloodlust emanating from Keith and tries to calm him down. It’s Dill, flapping frantically in the birdcage that makes Keith take a deep breath and calm himself down. He apologizes to Liam and Dill.

Liam assures him that he understands how Keith feels, but Keith tells him he’s wrong. This isn’t a joke. Liam assures him that he’ll clean up any mess Keith leaves behind. He gets a weak smile from Keith in return.

Keith summarizes the remainder of the meeting he had with Sariel and Leon. He will work with Rhodolite to ensure Emma’s safe return. Unfortunately, Keith can’t go running off on his own; if the suspect of the King of Jade’s assassination were to suddenly go missing after Rhodolite was notified, it would cause an international incident between the countries.

But things would be different if Keith was handed over to the Jade messengers and escaped after crossing the border. Liam asks if Keith already knows where Emma is.

She’s probably already in Jade by now. The border checkpoints wouldn’t check the baggage belonging to a royal messenger and sealed with the Jade Royal Family’s coat of arms. Not far from the nearest border checkpoint is a mansion owned by one of Fernand’s most fervent supporters. He imagines Emma would be held there.

Liam prepares to go ahead to handle it, but Keith stops him. There’s another task he needs Liam to handle. Liam’s eyes widen at the orders, but his expression quickly returns to normal, and he praises Keith for his unusually bold decisions. Keith thanks him; neither of them can afford to fail.

After Liam leaves, the only sound in the room is the fluttering of Dill’s wings. Keith turns to the mirror and looks at his reflections. He asks if he feels the same way. He wants to help Emma, but this time . . . he needs help. They need to talk.

In Jade, just as Fernand raises his hand, someone interrupts Fernand, begging him to stop. Emma is surprised, she didn’t even notice the man enter the room. However, she recognizes him; during Sonia’s party, so many nobles looked upset and disgusted with Keith. This one, however, had left the moment he saw Keith. Since he’s here, she guesses he must be one of Fernand’s supporters. But why would he stop Fernand and protect her?

The man continues; if Fernand were to beat Emma, there is a high chance she would die, like what happened last time with the servant. And they can’t exactly use her corpse as a hostage to ensure Keith’s cooperation.

Fernand agrees, he hadn’t thought that he had beaten the servant hard enough to kill him, but he had still died all the same. Though it was probably for the best he died, he would have had a miserable life if he had survived Fernand. Emma almost groans, with Fernand as the King, Jade would have a grim future.

Fernand decides it’s fine to not beat Emma to death. He’ll just keep her around as insurance. Though she is somewhat pretty, he doesn’t mind keeping her as his mistress as well. She has some interesting reactions, he’s certain it would be worth it.

Emma wonders how this man and Keith came from the same family. She must have been showing what she was thinking on her face; Fernand violently shoved her away.

Fernand notes that by now, the failure must have reached the border. He asks if the man has received a report.

It’s a very strange report. Upon crossing the border, Keith escaped his escort and went missing. Fernand complains that Keith looks like he’s struggling to decide what to do. The more he delays, the worse Emma’s health will be. Does he not have enough of a brain to understand that?

Fernand orders for more soldiers to be dispatched to find the escaped prince. He doesn’t necessarily need Keith to be alive.

Apparently losing interest in Emma, Fernand, and the man leave without looking back.

Emma takes into stock the new information. If Keith ran away, he must know that she’s been kidnapped and is trying to help her at risk to himself.

This is bad. The longer Emma stays here, the worse she will drag Keith down.

At the border between Rhodolite and Jade, Leon is apologizing for the situation they have found themselves in. He never imagined that Keith would escape and run away the moment they handed him over, coincidentally absolving Rhodolite of any wrongdoing.

The usually peaceful border crossing checkpoint is in turmoil. There had been extra security and guards since Rhodolite was handing over someone accused of assassinating the king. However, like a beast, after crossing the border Keith mowed down his escort and escaped into the forest.

Leon feels somewhat responsible for the situation and offers his and Licht’s services. Without waiting for a response, he and Licht cross the border, running towards the forest. The border guards protest, but Leon calls back that he has a crossing permit issued by the First Prince of Jade himself, so it’s all legal. They ignore the sounds of protest as they run.

Leon notes that the forest is interesting, just like Keith had warned them, there were dangerous ‘beasts’ roaming it. Licht asks if this is the reason he was brought along.

Leon comes to a stop, pulling out a dagger and throwing it into the shade of a nearby bush. It hits its mark and someone hiding in the shrubbery falls out groaning in pain. At a glance, the man was dressed to look like a bandit. An arrow is slashed out of the air by Leon.

Licht notes that even as private security goes, this is a bit much. Leon imagines that this was a backup plan if Keith were to escape. It certainly is risky of them to poke their noses into the internal affairs of another country. Leon thanks Licht for helping him and tells him that this isn’t an excuse to get hurt. After a long silence from Licht, Leon prompts him to reply. Licht finally agrees.

Meanwhile, the ‘beasts’ hiding in the forest were also pointing their fangs at Keith. He laments that his uncle is serious as he swings his sword, timing it to hit two ‘beasts’ at the same time. No one noticed or cared that the flowers were stained with blood, or that the air had a distinct iron smell.

(No one can stop him now)

Keith apologizes to the ‘beasts’ telling them to please get out of his way. He just can’t seem to hold back and stop himself from killing them.

#ikemen prince #ikepri #keith howell

26 notes · View notes

sol-consort · 12 days

Note

Greetings commander Shepard, hopefully things are going well for you.

Me. Calibrations, there aren't very many scenes I remember of Garrus. The scene I remember the most was in the third game where he and you are having a shooting contest and can let him win or win for yourself. I always chose to let him win, his enthusiasm over the victory was enjoyable. Though a less pleasant action he did was arming micro explosives in the new apartment you get, I forgot his code so fast. Finding him in mass effect 2 brought a smile to my face seeing him again. Never really looked into his character, currently I'm trying to remember his missions. The black market dealer confrontation I think I chose the paragon option. We arrest the Salarian I think. I don't know why but it reminds me of Sera's mission where you can confront a noble. Both characters show concern about hearing the opposition out and I think you can say something about trying to test out their reactions.

"I'm sorry Pill, but the family has spoken. You will need to disappear. You will be missed, collect your thoughts." Sorry you pill pet had to go, but congratulations on your niece's latest patch.

As for the modding, I'm not familiar with it in general aside from stories of Bethesda games getting a lot of mods. Some for amusement, some for quality of life, and some for personal. Hope the experience was fun and congratulations on fixing or finding a work around. I've seen some mods for stardew valley, mainly from a channel I think, Dangerously funny is the handle, but I don't think they've uploaded stardew valley content in a while. Has the new update come out for stardew? How are you enjoying your time with it in general?

I do not know how much work and research you've had to do for your blogs, but it definitely is a lot. I can see why you'd get burnt out. Take your time and see that you made your spot. A lot of people enjoy your stories and so enjoy your response. Your efforts have paid off. I'm happy you got to where you can converse with people you can trade or share information on interests you have. The consort sol settlement you place on the map has been marked. The little camp you set up turned into a little town. Or would it be your outpost has been approved of expansion from the a space setting?

Regarding you not doing well mentally, I'm sorry about that. I know people have different ways of dealing with it and I wish you the best with dealing with them. Hopefully my wording is careful. I don't know how you feel when it hits or for how long, but I do wish you the best in whatever means are available to you.

Walnut.

Your previous post about your actions with walnuts made me think of Shepard in your place and Anderson in your father's. The rest of your crew by the third entire would most likely be joining you but a few may stick with Anderson, giving you a bag and probably just watching.

Had to look up the disk of humanity, found out that they made references to it in some early transformers cartoons and some more recent ones from Netflix. I didn't know about the whale songs, but that does sound nice. Space whales can hear their sea siblings. As for the super volcano, had to it up and, very big. Often forget that each planet has its own thing going and that we're looking into colonizing mars. Your love for space shows as well as your enthusiasm for things you wish to learn about. Hope you get to explore more things of interest.

Hopefully this finds you well, and thank you for the wishing of good things to come. I hope the same for you, remember to hydrate, stretch, rest your eyes and to take time for yourself. That includes taking a break from hobby diving to rest. I know not all of the previous can be done, just do what you can for yourself and hope you have time.

Thank you

I don't have any energy. I read your sweet letter multiple times and milked it for every drop of happiness I could get when my days were getting dim. I'm thankful for your existence.

Life has...taken a huge dip. I feel like I'm crumbling. My headaches are worse.

I was waiting to have some resemblance of good news to share with you before replying to the ask. But I kept waiting and waiting and nothing came, I'm sorry. I thought I'd achieve something or go through a fun even if I just postponed replying to this, I didn't and it hurts to ignore it any longer.

I don't want to talk about the bad either.

So I guess this is it for this time around. I hope I have something more cheerful and interesting to share with you next time, if there is a next time.

I hope you're well and if you're not, then know it's okay to be unwell. Life still goes on, the world still spins and no one turns off the sun. The indifference of the universe is comforting if you think about it, like an estranged relative that will always send you money but never send their congratulations or condolences. It's safer this way, to put a wall between you and others.

I'm trying to write a new fic, a character in it speaks latin and I have been researching latin because of it. I still don't understand the difference between "Mi" "Mei" and "Meus" when it comes to possessive pronouns but I'll manage. I think "Mi" was for feminine nouns and "Meus" for masc but I think I'm wrong. "Mae" is probably for feminine nouns.

I also don't understand how that rule applies to names. If I wanted to say "My Bob" would I say "Bob Meus" or "Mi Bob" or "Meus Bob"

It apparently also changes depending on if I'm currently speaking directly to Bob, thinking about Bob or just talking to someone else about Bob.

Arabic is also a gendered language but it feels more...manageable? Like how come a noun's gender effects the way I say MY possessive pronouns? But not possessed noun pronouns?

In arabic to add "my" you just add a "ti" or "li' at the end of a noun. So for example my table would become "Tabla-ti"

"Tabla" is table and "ti" is mine.

It's actually just the "i" that you add without the "t" but when you say Tabla, the last "a" is actually a "t" that's pronounced as "A" if left alone but with an added letter it becomes "t"

If we do it with Bob it becomes "bobi"

Funny thing that's where the confusion about the word "habibi" comes from. It's so hilarious when I see fanfic writers make arab characters say "my habibi" because they don't know better. It's like someone say "my my love"

"Habibi" has the "i" of possessive. "Habib" is the noun by itself which means lover. It comes from the word "hub" which is love. It also depends on the lover's gender and quantity.

"Habibti" for feminine while the other for masc

"Habibye" for two masc or mixed lovers. "abibaatye" for two fem lovers

"Hubi" for plural masc or mixed lovers. "Habibati" for plural fem lovers.

Now this is with the first person pronouns. If you change it to second person where I'm saying this lover belongs to you then it all changes again to slightly different words. Also each word now has two versions depending on if the "you" is a masc or fem.

It also changes completely again if we're talking in third person about a "he" "her" or "they"

Also lover is a general endearment term that is used to be friendly rather than flirtatious? Like I'd call a stranger "habibi" just to show I'm glad to see them? My dad calls me that when he brings me something and I call my little niece that when she's crying and I comfort her.

It's almost like "darling" for British people. Sure the literal translation means something but the culture itself around the word changed its meaning.

You can still use it for your actual lover, however, and no one will bat an eye. But again, it won't impress your lover. It's not romantic by nature. It's a term for platonic love.

Unless you introduce someone as your "habibi," then yeah, it develops romantic context.

With words that already end with "i" then you add a ّshada which is like a tiny "w" that shows this letter should be pronounced twice as intensely

So with chai it would become chaii or chaiّ

You can skip the tiny w and add two letters but it is considered childish to do so.

And all of this is just formal arabic, which no one actually speaks irl. It's only used in official documents, professional books, government, and news. If you spoke it irl, people would laugh at you endlessly.

Regional dilect changes the way gendered terms are spelt and written, and also how the possessive and gender rules work. It becomes so severe that most Arabic countries don't understand each other from how much each of their dilects has evolved and changed. Sometimes in events, you need an interpreter to translate dilect arabic to fromal arabic in order for other arabic people to understand it.

that's why we still teach formal arabic despite it technically being a dead language since no one speaks it. So we can use it to communicate and document things when you don't understand the other person's version of arabic.

When foreigners want to learn arabic, we gently sway them to learn Egyptian dilect arabic because it's the "easiest" by far and most understood in all arabic countries thanks to Egypt being famous for their movies and theater shows. It's how I learned Egyptian arabic actually because I didn't have a clue what they were saying before.

It also has a lot of french influence in it thanks to the colonisation. So to a western tongue, it's spoken more smoothly while with my country's arabic, you'd have to learn new letters and new sounds to make.

A dilect and an accent are completely different, btw. I have an accent in arabic, my own mother language. Because I decided to learn English as a kid at the same time, I was learning to speak my country's dilect version of arabic, so they mixed a lot of wires in my brain. As a conclusion, I can speak formal arabic more authenticity than my own county's arabic, which is...insulting and embarrassing.

The world isn't doing well. I'm afraid of dying. My country is so close to the current genocide going on and all airports here were closed recently.

The idea of dying by itself is weird. It's not so out of reach anymore. I'm barely healthy and alive as I am right now, would I be strong enough to survive an attack or a war?

It sounds grim but I'd prefer dying before it happens.

You mentioned letting Garrus win, that's very sweet of you. And interesting since I always chose to let him lose. I felt like Shepard earned a win between everything that's happening, a chance to show off to an old friend.

But you let him win. I didn't even consider it as an option. It was kind and selfless.

The micro explosives and hottub trap incidents are one of my favourites in the apartment party mission. He was so enthusiastic about it that he didn't even consider the home part in "home defence" he didn't want you to not get robbed, he wanted your house to almost get broken into so he could force the intredurs through traps that are a mix of saw and home alone. Doesn't matter if the house isn't livable anymore. This is war shepard. You could easily fit a Browning .50 calibre machine gun in the fridge if you take out all the food. That way, if an intredur comes in, you can pretend to fix yourself a little sandwich and then boom 1200 round/minute to the face.

I ate donuts lately. They were really tasty.

I got strawberry chocolate, white chocolate and milk chocolate ones.

The strawberry was my favourite.

Do you eat your donuts hot or cold? I always eat them when they're hot because they're bakery goods. They are baked. They come out of an oven. They are supposed to be hot.

They're not cake. You don't have frosting to worry about or anything. Just plop them into the microwave for 30 seconds, then eat them hot and tasty. I genuinely can't understand people who eat them cold.

Sponge cakes without frosting are best eaten hot too.

What is a baked good if not bread that's sweeter than usual? And you don't eat cold bread do you?

Fojwofjw that walnut incident, I will never live it down huh?

I think Grunt would join Shepard and consider smashing walnuts on the ground (or on someone) as the only correct way to eat it. Ashley would definitely bully tf out of Shepard for it while Kaidan tries to politely hint at how unhygienic it is and maybe just ask him to open them next time?

Thinking about it, I've done a lot of stupid shit just to fuck around and find out. Consequences didn't even register to me when the promise of a tempting experiment was on the horizon. Staying up long enough to induce a psychosis episode, stealing alcohol and cigarettes as a kid, not to consume mind you, but to cut and mix them trying to decipher what makes them so addicting to adults.

I hid so well in hide and seek as a kid once, stayed in the same position for 4 hours, and didn't move even when the my friends went to ask my parents if I came home. Cue my parents panicking and asking the neighbours, searching the streets and calling my name while I sayed in my hiding spot gigging and thinking of how impressed they would be of my great hiding skill.

They were not, especially when the police were called.

A waste of my talents I tell you.

I also ate rat poison as a kid once. Out of spite because they made it look like candy and my parents were like "hey listen fuckface, this bag that looks like candy IS NOT candy, it's for the rats. Do not eat it."

So of course I went and ate it after they went to sleep like duh? I knew it wasn't candy, I was just insulted they thought I was dumb enough to fall for it. So I decided to act even dumber.

Being frank, I don't think natural selection wants me here.

I'm feeling better, actually. less miserable than when I started writing this. It made me happier, like writing to an old friend. I was so scared of answering this since I didn't have anything interesting to talk about, but now I see that my fear was misplaced.

I don't want to worry you or anyone reading this. I deleted so many parts that slipped out about my personal problems. Life is just disheartening and it's bitter to not be loved as much by what was supposed to be a family.

But I will love myself regardless. At least I will try to. Because there is no other option. If natural selection made a mistake by not taking me out when I was a dumb kid, good fucking luck catching me now. I'm planning to live and enjoy life out of spite. I love so many things in this life, it's beautiful.

#☆other

5 notes · View notes

cheesybadgers · 8 months

Note

I read the post about people not using the ask feature anymore. So three asks:

1. Do you think the ask feature has been decimated by Discord Servers? I find that's where most of my fandom discussions happen nowadays. It's collaborative and less clunky once you get a critical mass of like minded people.

2. What kind of asks do you miss most? Questions about your current fandom? Questions about your personal life or preferences? Something random and batshit insane?

3. How do you feel about anonymous ask? I hate being perceived, so here we are.

Hey there, Anon! Ooh these are some great questions that have got me thinking this Friday evening, so thank you for sending them 😊

I'll put my answers under the cut, as er, they got a little long and rambling, oops lol.

Yes, I think Discord has definitely played a part, especially since Tumblr got rid of its group chat function. I don’t know what they were thinking with that decision tbh. It was a feature I actually used and it was nice to be able to talk to several mutuals at once without it being completely public.

Not everyone on Tumblr necessarily uses or wants to use an entirely different platform to communicate. I’ve tried a couple of Discord groups and one I liked because it was quiet and manageable (although it’s defunct now). I knew everyone in the group pretty well and we used to be in a Tumblr group chat together. The other one was people I didn’t know very well who all liked the same show, but it was too fast paced for me to keep up with. And nearly everyone else was in a different time zone, or knew each other better, so there wasn’t much point in showing up hours after the conversation ended, scrolling through tonnes of messages just to add something that was mostly ignored anyway lol.

I think Discord serves a purpose for existing friends wanting to chat in private, or if a subgroup of a bigger fandom wants to congregate somewhere, but as a main discussion platform? Hmm I don’t know. A lot of them require invites and rely on you knowing they exist in the first place. If you’re new to a fandom or just want to lurk for a bit to get the lay of the land, that puts you at a disadvantage straight away.

I’m going to show my age here, but this is why I think I still lament the heyday of LiveJournal and forums/message boards (I know Reddit still exists but the forums I used were fandom-specific and entirely run by fans). LJ struck a good balance between public and private and between fandom and personal, as you could add friends to your LJ account and restrict blog access to friends only. Meanwhile, you could also join community groups for whatever fandoms you were into and post in those without having to share the inner workings of your mind lol.

Of course, you added friends you met on the community groups and that’s how you got to know people. And because it didn’t have to be a free-for-all, you actually got to learn a lot about the people you followed. They shared their names, photos, details about their lives, their families, school/college/jobs etc. as well as the fandom side of their personalities. Personally, I would never be that open on Tumblr because anyone could stumble across my page. There’s no happy medium anymore. It’s either share everything with the entire internet (or at least all registered Tumblr users) or hide away in a private chat group.

I had a similar experience to LJ with a band’s forum in the ‘00s as well. I haven’t spoken to a lot of those people in 10-15 years but I still remember their usernames and real names, what they looked like, which other forum members they were in relationships with, forum meetups, iconic forum dramas and fallings out we all had. Oh, and I married someone I met on there too lol. I know online romances still happen on Tumblr, but what I’m getting at I suppose is back in those days fandom felt like a proper community.

Obviously there were idiots and people you didn’t like, but because it was moderated and there were rules about abuse, it taught you how to keep things civil and to just ignore/scroll past stuff you didn’t want to see. If you disagreed with someone, you couldn’t send them anon hate or try and get their account suspended out of spite; it forced you to engage with someone else’s point of view and to debate. There was also a much wider range of ages than Tumblr, which, much to contrary belief on here sometimes, isn't actually a bad or dangerous thing lol. I learnt a lot from older forumites when I was an angsty teenager. It wasn’t perfect and there was the odd power hungry mod and people you were just never going to see eye-to-eye with, but that’s life, isn’t it? That’s how it works offline as well. And in hindsight, I’m so grateful I got to experience my formative years in that version of online fandom rather than the version we have now.

2. What kind of asks do you miss most? Questions about your current fandom? Questions about your personal life or preferences? Something random and batshit insane?

I guess I just miss more good faith/no ulterior motive bonding over shared love of characters/shows etc. whether that be in asks or not, and whether it’s with fellow creatives or people who’ve never created anything.

That’s not to say I wouldn’t answer anything personal, random or batshit insane though…within reason of course 😂 But I don’t naturally really talk about myself a lot unless someone asks or it’s relevant to a conversation. I’m like that offline as well…I guess it’s just my introverted nature. So, fandom stuff always feels like easier ground to ramble about on Tumblr. And the more personal stuff usually follows suit once there is an established relationship of trust. That’s one thing that's been hard to find in the last few years, because too many people have screwed me over lol. I suspect that’s probably a barrier to making new connections across the board if anyone has ever had bad past experiences in fandom. It certainly makes you more cautious.

For comparison’s sake, back in 2015, I was involved in a small but very active and interactive fandom. Everyone sent asks to everyone about the characters, discussed the show vs the book, different ships, ‘what if?’ type questions. I remember receiving quite a few asks, even though I had only made a handful of gifs and graphics for the fandom and generally didn’t create much. I don’t remember there being a divide between creatives and non-creatives though. We were all just collectively losing our minds over the source material and it was absolutely joyous. There was a group fanbook made and even an in-person meetup. Again, it was a proper little community for a while.

Skip forward to 2020 and the fandom I got involved with had elements of community when we were all in lockdown and more people were hanging out online because they were stuck at home. But I think the difference by this point, at least in this specific fandom, was that it was very difficult to feel heard if you weren’t also creating.

I remember having a very specific thought at one point of ‘You either get stuck in and contribute the things you want to see that aren’t already there, or you move on’. It wasn’t in terms of thinking I had to ‘earn’ my place in the fandom, but more I thought I had something different to offer but just quietly saying it in tags or piggybacking on someone else’s posts weren’t enough anymore, especially when I wasn't necessarily getting much back at times.

And I think I managed to carve out my own little niche corner of the fandom in 2021. I got some lovely asks about my fics, I used to chat back and forth in reblogs with a few people and I’ve had some insane essay-length comments on my fics in the past that I never expected in a million years, so I do appreciate all of that, obviously.

I can’t pinpoint when things changed exactly, but I think it must have been as the fandom started getting bigger and the TikTok effect became more pronounced, that the gaps between creatives and non-creatives and between the popular creatives and the smaller creatives grew wider. Competitiveness between creators in general seemed to get worse and a lot of smaller and diverse creatives weren’t treated well as fandoms within fandoms developed around the most popular people. Then it just became a giant popularity contest rife with high school politics rather than it being about the characters and source material, or making friends.

I appreciate I’ve compared a small fandom and a rapidly expanding fandom here, and I'm sure there are still some corners of Tumblr left that are more like my 2015 experience, but my 2020 onwards experience isn’t an isolated incident from everything I’ve read on here and Reddit. Something has shifted even in the last couple of years, let alone beyond that.

I also think perhaps the immediacy and short lifespan of fandoms makes it harder to interact in general, because streaming services often drop an entire season in one day. You know your mutual will be watching it because they’ve been hyped about it on their blog, but you don’t know which episode they might be up to. So, you don’t want to be sending messages/asks potentially spoiling things they might not have got round to yet. Or they’ve watched it all in 24 hours and it takes you several weeks to get round to episode 1, by which point half your dash has already moved on to the next must-watch piece of media. That’s how small the window of opportunity is sometimes now; it’s insane.

3. How do you feel about anonymous ask? I hate being perceived, so here we are.

As long as people aren’t being rude/abusive, I don’t have a problem with anons. I know what you mean about being perceived, so I wouldn't want to remove the anon option for that reason. I've had some lovely fic related anons in the past too, so as long as it's all respectful, I'm cool with it.

But I know anon hate is a problem on here, and I think it partially ties into the whole high school politics thing again. A lot of people don’t know how to deal with their own insecurities and jealousies without taking it out on someone else. The stats obsession that has infiltrated fandom from social media seems to bring the worst out in people, especially re: comparison and not feeling good enough. It's no excuse, but I think that's probably where it comes from.

I’ve also noticed some creatives getting upset by entitled anons just coming into their inbox and saying ‘Part 2 of X fic please’ or being pushy about the next chapter if it’s been a while since the last one. So, I also think a lot of fandom etiquette has been lost in recent years, this being a prime example. People seem to forget they're talking to a human being and just see content, content, content.

And I don’t really know what the answer to any of this is tbh! I would like to think the writers’ and actors’ strikes might help paint a bigger picture of how social media and the way fandom has changed are all interlinked with the big studios’ practices. But who knows? I do see quite a few more posts pointing out these problems nowadays, so I guess that’s a step forward.

#Ask #Asks #Replies

2 notes · View notes

tiffanylamps · 2 years

Note

🥺🤡🛒🍦👀🤲🧠(joo won), please? :3

Hey!! I literally stretched when I saw you sent me 7 questions!!! This is sick, thank you! <3

From this post

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I have a real soft spot for skin-on-skin contact (or just characters expressing their affection with their hands). So, holding hands, fingers brushing secretly, caressing skin, tugging on clothes, etc. Just small gestures like that (that could be missed if not paying attention) drive me INSANE! I love them!

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

This moment from courage to make love known

They make a comical pairing. A comment made by Ho Seok from his corner by Dong Sik’s side, smiling with rosy cheeks like the juvenile antics of the youth is just an amusing sitcom. Jae Yi has to agree with that sentiment; standing together just outside the light of the projector’s glare, Ji Hoon is whispering something probably incoherent against Joo Won’s temple. The older and shorter man seems to be considering everything Ji Hoon says with a great degree of seriousness as if they’re discussing a great scandal and how they will uncover it. With Joo Won - stern and serious - dressed in all black and Ji Hoon - cheerful and giggling - in pinks and creams, it is a very funny sight. They are chalk and cheese. Dong Sik sips on his second Moscow Mule and grins like the sight is the sweetest thing he’s ever seen.

“Oppa! Oppa, they have our song! Come sing with me!” Ha Eun calls from the centre of the spider’s web of friends. There are murmurs of excitement and encouragement from the gaggle of young women. Ji Hoon doesn’t look too pleased to have his immensely important and totally top-secret conversation interrupted. The two men continue to converse and slowly Ji Hoon pivots them away from the group.

“Oppa! Don’t be mean!” Ha Eun exclaims and stomps over to her very tall boyfriend. She hits his arm without much force.

Joo Won holds a hand out to put space between the pair, still under the weight of Ji Hoon’s arm on his shoulder. “Ha Eun-ssi, stop. That is assault.” Just the mental image of these two drunk silly sweet idiots gossiping about their friends, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, is sooo funny to me. I will die on my "JW & JH will be friends" horse! It's a worthy cause that everyone should jump on board with. Also, JW sticking his hand out and drunkenly saying, "Ha Eun-ssi, stop. That is assault." is also funny to me

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I've already answered this but I will give you a different answer... sofa sex. I have accidentally included sex on a sofa in 6 (???) fics. Only two(/three-ish) of them have been published and the majority of them haven't been written/completed. But yeah... I don't know why I keep doing that.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

I would say my sweet (and kinda shitty) little poem woes break the faucet (and a tooth-rooting fic I'm currently working on)

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

It's BE. post-canon. nonlinear timeline. alternating pov. think melodrama. passion. picture arguments. breakups and makeups. A N G S T. picture a ridiculous display of "idiots in love". annnnnnnd jwds doing something naughty 👀

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

Here a brief look at the fic I just mentioned-

The faraway melody of pitter-patter rain morphs lazily, changing in tone and tempo; as the hazy sleep-conscious fog in Joo Won's mind dissipates. His body is a burdening mass of unnecessary weight: limbs mid-rigor mortis from a dreamless sleep that has left him disorientated and aching, stitched to the mattress with invisible red thread. But he knows where he is as soon as he stretches his muscles like a cat after a day-long nap: toes splayed and knees clicking. His head rolls back, allowing his cheek to find the all-too-soft fabric of a pillow that is too fluffy and too big to be his own.

Ah. He knows this pillow. He knows the entire set.

He twists, uncoordinated with eyes closed like a newborn pup seeking out the life-giving milk of its mother. His chest finds the bed sheet and before he has the clarity of mind to stop himself, he cradles the pillow with arms on the verge of pins and needles, burying his face amongst the polyester stuffing. He allows himself a lungful of peace. Just a lungful. A deep and steady intake of autumn air and whatever diffuser Dong Sik has been using as of late. Not unlike a bagpipe, it inflates him with life and song, and he traps it within his lungs in secret, succumbing to its wonder. He feels oddly full.

The mattress moves under a shuffling weight and the covers are tugged with it, causing the duvet to rustle down Joo Won's back with the same enthusiasm as crystalised amber leaves skipping across Dong Sik’s front garden. Joo Won suppresses the urge to ring out the tune lingering in his throat, which awaits on the verge of creating an album of wistful music that belongs to be dancing on a cliffside breeze. He could let this feeling of contentment out and grant it permission to be free from his body. It could keep the now sodden September leaves company… as well as the body next to his. The same body that has kept his gloomy autumn mornings iridescent and warm. But he would rather choke than be that see-through. So, he lets his throat ache with the burden of an unsung song.

👀

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them

(For Joo Won) I can't really pick an absolute favourite BUT one of them is Joo Won changes his name from Han Joo Won to Lee Joo Won. He does it when he's maybe nearing his mid-40s, as his father has recently fallen ill and is in hospital (meaning Joo Won's life is in the shit all over again, because the public/media want a piece of him) so, to get rid of his father's name/"legacy"/baggage, he changes it. He alsoooo changes it because he wants him and Dong Sik to have the same family name (he's been influenced by western marriage culture). So, he does it for all the reasons previously mentioned and because jwds can't legally get married in South Korea, so it's like a sweet workaround.

#ask game #writer ask game #ask answered #thank you <3 #I hope you like the snippet!!

5 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 4 months

Text

January 13: Funeral

Today was the funeral. The service started at 10, then was followed by the burial, and then a reception back at the church. I got home around 2 and then took a nap, and didn’t wake up until about 8pm. I still feel really tired and achy. I knew that this day was going to be me going to the service and then recovering but I don’t know that I anticipated feeling this tired and overwhelmed. The service was nice and I am glad I went, glad to see so many people there (current and former library people, 2 Deans, several students, a couple professors, other former employees), but it was also really, really tiring. It’s tiring in the way that grief is tiring but it’s also such a public thing. Crying in public, or trying not to, making small talk with people, especially people you haven’t seen in a long time, having to navigate around people… I don’t know. I really just wanted to be alone. For all the memorial services that are planned, I sort of wish there had been a wake. I kind of just wanted to sit with her casket for a while and not talk to anyone. That was kind of the mood I was missing. I had that a little bit at the burial. After the ceremony, people were engaging in small talk, and I went over to the casket and stood there for a short time and touched it. I was the only library person to do that though and I felt, again, self-conscious about it because there were some people I didn’t know standing there and, I don’t know, I had this like irrational fear that I was, like, getting in their way or something, I don’t know.

I feel a little bit that I didn’t find as much comfort in the ceremony of the funeral service itself… I generally do find Masses very comforting but of course this wasn’t actually a Mass, technically, and it felt actually really different to me versus a Roman Catholic service. I think it’s the chanting. I’ll be honest that I didn’t really understand a lot of what was said.

The reception afterwards was very nice. I’d honestly been a bit worried about it because I thought it was going to be a bunch of people eating appetizers off small plates and standing around and chit-chatting but actually it was a lunch and I sat with the library people and had sort of distracting, nice conversation. So I think it was really good. And the food was from my friend’s favorite restaurant in town and she had, like, specifically arranged for it, and so it felt very much like she was hosting us one last time. The Dean actually came and sat with the library staff later, which I definitely took as a conscious gesture.

Anyway, this was more than I had really intended to write I think. I’m actually trying not to think about it too much more because I need to step back and just… be distracted. Tomorrow I hope to mostly take it easy but to spend some time writing, if possible. Am I prepared for that? I mean not really but I think it would be good for me.

#the year 2024 #2024: rl

0 notes

timtheory · 5 months

Text

hellloo!!!!! this is a post about adopt me lore :3 so, for context, i got bored and went up to the sky castle, and found the tims. i decided to talk to them (theres 12 npcs all named tim scattered around), and then i noticed their conversations were very interesting, and decided to go through each tims conversation and write down what i took notice of. so, here it is! the tims are labled 1-12 in the order i talked to them, and the ones with specific names other than just tim are in parentheses :3 (i would provide all the ss but there are a LOT there were 2-3 ss for each tim)

1st tim info:

- sell potions

- a "very lively book" for sale

- book just "arrived one day"

- book says his name is "steve"

- tells not to trust steve

- steve is hard to read

2nd tim info (cool tim):

- rebellion leader (doubtful)??

- "the man" is apparently someone they want to rebel against

- doesnt know HOW to rebel against the man, but thinks it "sounds cool"

- thinks hes cool

3rd tim:

- has a recurring dream each night

- sleep seems "never ending" (hinting at this being a dream? [maybe but doubtful])

- dream world is a "world of pure uncompromising magic"; all perfect/no dark just light

- the dream world feels like its missing something/out of balance (presumably the darkness being gone. does it hint at it being the opposite world of our current? with the magic there, is it all darkness?)

4th tim:

- this is the NORTH POLE?? (is he a liar? i have to ask santa)

5th tim:

- figured out whats going w/ portal (but WHAT)

- everyday life is making potions

- accused player of spying and "corporate espionage" ([meaning taking one companies secrets taking them to another, but WHO?? the other side of the portal? or is he just paranoid?] hinting at them being paranoid? or just this tim? or is it nothing)

- "call sean" so they can apparently (assuming he wasnt saying it for the joke) communicate outside of the castle, by either some sort of thing like a phone or something more magical, or theres someone named sean just chilling there

6th tim:

- autism/j (excuses to talk abt interest [completely lore irrelevant])

-"pets that escaped the portal"can be CAUGHT by setting up "lures" (they look like cartoony traps w/ a box and stick) in your own home

7th tim:

- trying to start a company???

- very obsessed with spoons (they ALL are)

- hates forks

8th tim:

- "we were meant to be this all powerful wizard, but look what happened to us" (spelling mistake in game or they were all supposed to become one? possibly one identity split up into multiple different people? but they dont seem vastly different, as to be different personalities per say)

- "ugh I guess this is what happens when you give people „sentience” and „free will“" (did HE do this? is he also responsible for the book, steve, or was steve from the portal, like a pet you can catch w/ the lures?)

9th tim (foreshadowed tim):

- name is weird. "just felt like a good name

- doesnt trust crazy tim. crazy tim "looks at him like hes weird" (if crazy tim thinks so, u might be, ngl ,,)

- "i know hes basically me" is this a reference to my theory (all them are 1 being separated), or are they just all rlly similar?

- the other tims disagree that he should call crazy tim crazy

- WHY MORE SPOON TALK

10th tim:

- nobody knows why the castle was floating, "its been here long before any of us..."

- its being held up by EXTREMELY strong magic

11th tim (crazy tim):

- claims everyone says hes crazy, whos lying, or is foreshadowed tim just not speaking fully in the present?

- might actually be crazy.

- "im just trying to swap someones brain with a battery" just. JUST????

- says he wants to test it on something w/ similar dna to him, and speculates about a spoon. what is their deal w/ spoons

12th tim:

- says theyre able to mass-produce "campfire cookie baits" saying they appear when a lure ints w/ ur house. in a good or bad way?

- then panics like he wasnt supposed to say that, but 6th tim talks about them to the player like its fine to share

#timtheory #adopt me lore #im so silly #i still have no idea how to tag

1 note · View note

compil · 6 months

Text

Mobius's Ending

I feel so conflicted with how I feel about it because his arc itself felt conflicting to me. There are two possible reasons why Mobius refused to see his life on the timeline until the very end:

Mobius didn't want to know about his life on the timeline because he was afraid he might see something good — ergo, he's afraid to want something he can't have. He feels like he can't have it because as far as he can remember, the TVA is his life and purpose. "That's the last thing I should be thinking about" - he's pushing his personal affairs to the back burner because there's too much going on. After the big reveal that they're all variants and his life was a lie, there were disasters upon disasters raining upon the TVA... There's a power vacuum. They have to decide what the TVA should do moving forward — to prune or not to prune. They decide not to prune but the loom can't accommodate the new timelines. Loki keeps slipping in and out of time. Dox and the minute men are mass pruning branches. Ravonna and Miss Minutes are causing havoc of their own. They need to find and take Timely back to the TVA. So on and so forth.

Flipping the reasoning above could also work: perhaps Mobius kept himself busy / entertained in an effort to avoid thinking about his life on the timeline. It sure would be easy to do, what with all the problems cropping up all around them. He simply has no time to think about all that, he tells himself. But maybe he does and he just convinces himself otherwise because the crux of the matter is that he really doesn't want to see his timeline life. He's perfectly content with his life as it is, why should that change? Why subject himself to an alternative he can never unsee when he actually likes things as they are?

If the first reason were true, it would tie up the ending pretty nicely. In a huge act of sacrifice, Loki granted his friends the free will to choose their destinies in a multiverse of infinite possibilities. The TVA does not need as much staff as they used to and former recruits are permitted, if not encouraged, to return to their life on the timeline. Mobius is free to "let time pass" with no urgency, and thus has the freedom to return to his life on the timeline so long as he has the courage to face what he could've had, which he did by the end of the series. It would also tie in to the theme of "what's so bad about wanting something" that has pervaded the last few episodes.

On the other hand, I can't help but consider the likelihood of the second scenario, which makes the ending sorta :(((( for me. Because the thing is — Mobius did take time to enjoy himself a few times this season. He wasn't burdened with heavy workload (haha) all the time. There were the drinks at Brad's party, the Chicago fair, hell, Sylvie even called it out in an argument. It would make sense if all season he had just been grasping at any distraction he can — work or play — to delay looking at his life on the timeline. And honestly? Fair! I wouldn't want my alternate lives rattling around in my head either. It was his choice to see it in the end but after his conversations with Loki, I was kinda hoping that the message with him would be — you can never look, never know, and that's okay too. not everyone feels a connection to their past. some variants like their life as it is and choose to move forward with the life they've been living as far as they can remember. because I mean, when all your old memories are gone, your timeline-self is essentially a stranger with your face. you'll only really want it if you're unsatisfied with your current lot, which Mobius wasn't.

In any case, I found both possibilities pretty interesting to mull over, and I think keeping his decision after he saw his timeline-life vague was a good choice overall! Ambiguity can often be frustrating but this sort of ambiguity was contained, y'know? It's mysterious enough to be fun to analyze, but not too vague that it's annoying

#loki meta #loki spoilers #loki #mobius m mobius #p comp

1 note · View note

illuminatingprowess · 8 months

Text

The Fall of a New King, The Rise of the Immortalem

Sebastian had left his sister behind in the war room as he went back into the main hall where his guest remained. The animosity and fear was palpable when things went sideways in Westland. He hoped that his presence would provide some reassurance amongst the crowd. Feeling himself grow increasingly fatigued all of a sudden, he had someone go fetch him some water in hopes that it wasn't something he'd eaten over the course of the night. They didn't need a case of food poisoning on top of the current circumstances. The last thing the Isley wanted was to come off as a weak. With various individuals continually updating him, Sebastian made sure to pass off any relevant information to the appropriate leaders and heads.

Feeling like his strength had marginally improved, Sebastian began walking around the palace. They had decided after the first hour to split up guest into various sections in hopes to divert any additional attacks from hitting the masses. Sitting and waiting didn't bode well for him, so he moved throughout the palace with his slew of guards checking on guest and making sure that everyone was on the same page. As they rounded a corner, he'd ask for a moment, leaning himself against the wall. His vision was going blurry. Reminiscing on what Markus had informed him, Sebastian was dwelling on the thoughts of the Immortalem. Surely, all of this could not be related to that? Nonetheless, he dismissed the thought and pushed forward.

As he made his way to the last check point of guest in the library, Sebastian felt his legs go and was fortunately caught by two of his guardsmen. He could hear the murmurings and people now concerned about his well being. "I'm fine," he stated as his team pleaded for him to return back to the war room. Once up right again, he remained in the library for about ten minutes before signaling that it was time to return back in hopes that the missing had been found.

Once situated in the war room, people could see that there was something distinctively wrong with their king. Sebastian didn't heed their concerns. As long as he was still breathing and moving, he was staying in this room and working with the various individuals to put an end to whatever the hell was going on. However, internally he felt like he got ran over by a bus. His body ached like never before and he could feel the chills coursing up and down his spine. "Give me an update," he mustered. The Isley's energy was draining and there were still no changes. Other leaders were on guard, fortifying the palace and using their respective abilities to keep everyone in Kings Hill safe. He had a feeling it wouldn't be enough.

Sebastian had been in mid conversation with Barclay when his vision had gone black. Feeling the world spinning, he didn't even sense his body give way as he landed flat on the floor, having only been upright a mere few minutes ago. All he could hear were the voices shouting with concern, someone beckoning for a doctor, a healer, as the guards swiftly lifted him up, carrying the Isley to his chambers.

His body was on fire and there was no corrective action. Every attempt the healers tried was counter acted, causing him to grow more ill by the moment. Sebastian commanded everyone to leave his room, beyond important personnel. The last thing they needed was for their hopes to be defeated at the sight of their newly crowned king withering away. To those who remained in the room, he asked of them one thing and one thing only. "You do not relinquish control. You protect these people and you protect this kingdom by any means possible." Everyone came before him and those who he'd given high power, he entrusted that they would do the same. "I'll be fine."

Sebastian had been in and out of consciousness. Every fiber of his being was burning. The pain coursing from the crown of his head, to the base of his feet was incomprehensible. He could hear the voices. A constant chanting of the sorts from the underworld. Markus was right. They are here and may the heavens have mercy upon those who casted them away. "They're coming..." he strained to whisper. Hearing the room go quiet, he felt the sudden blackness come over, caving to it entirely. The last four words that left his lips before he fell into a coma. Before the skies would wreck havoc and chaos upon the lands. "The immortalem have risen."

#the discovery of the bloodline #who am i?#musings #ft. sebastian isley #self para

1 note · View note

amicidomenicani · 1 year

Text

Question Hello Father Angelo, My name is D. and I am 27. I have been dating my boyfriend for over seven years now. We will get married in four months: although I am happy about it, there is something about this marriage that just does not feel right. All these years my boyfriend and I shared the same opinions regarding religion and faith. We were both atheists and we were fine with it, until about three months ago I had an unexpected and astounding experience that led me to conversion. He seems to accept my conversion, although he does not want to come to the Mass with me, because he finds it boring. After all, he does not forbid me to do what makes me happy. But the conversion has changed me a lot, and some of his behaviors that I was not noticing before, now annoy me deeply. I am aware that we are all slaves to materialistic things, but I now feel I despite them so much! I especially despite excesses of any kind, frivolities, selfishness, eager for money...I hate everything that leads to evil! I transformed into a humble and simple girl, getting rid of all the vanities and frivolities, I now feel so happy! I work as an esthetician, but if I could find another job I would gladly quit the current one, because I find it too superficial and meaningless. Before encountering Jesus, I used to search for true happiness, but never found it. Even though nothing was missing in my life, I had a nice job, an upcoming marriage, yet I could not stop feeling empty. Only the Eternal Father healed my inner void! Suddenly, I am strongly attracted to Jesus, I would say I am in love with Him! A month ago, when I realized that maybe God is calling me to consecrated life, I fell into despair, because I also desire to get married and have a family…if my destiny is to become a nun, why did God's call not occur earlier? Why now, when my wedding has already been organized? I do not trust my priest, therefore I tried to make the discernment alone, by praying as much as I could. After a few days of intensive prayer I was so convinced that the Lord has led me on this path, that I have to go along with it, anything else would be my will, not His. I want to get married, but I am afraid that in future I will regret not having answered his call. On the other hand, leaving everything in order to follow Christ also scares me. In short, I know that the Lord wants something from me, but I have not yet understood what. I would very much like to know your opinion. Thank you in advance. Answer from the priest Dear D., 1. I am happy that the Lord has revolutionized your life by granting you the grace to start a married life according to his plan of sanctification. When you discovered the Lord, you immediately felt that He is like that precious pearl for which it is worth to leave everything else you possessed before. 2. However, a Christian life and a consecrated one are two different things. Deciding for a consecrated life is a matter that requires a serious, intense discernment, which cannot be processed in just a few months. 3. The fact that you are one step away from your wedding, after seven years of engagement, makes me think that the Lord's will is that you get married. 4. My advice is that you live your relationship more intensely with the Lord, who is, and must remain, the Bridegroom of your soul. The bridegroom whom you will shortly take to the altar will be a true bridegroom, but at the same time he will be the image and permanent reminder of Jesus, who is the Spouse of whom all the others are a sign. 5. At the same time, insistently ask the Lord for the grace of the conversion of your future husband, so that the two of you may live a journey of sanctification. In this way, everything in your life together will lead you to know, love, and possess Jesus with growing intensity. Jesus is "the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end" (Rev. 22:13) also of our sentime

ntal life. 6. A sudden conversion was the greatest grace you have ever received. You discovered the center and the goal of your life, the only one that illuminates it in all of its depths and in all of its immense value. He gives life its consistency, for earthly and eternal existence. 7. Everything else, if it does not lead to Him, is "all was vanity and a chase after wind" (Eccl. 2,11) as Sacred Scripture says. This is the reason why you feel a certain discomfort in your current profession, which is not to be despised if it serves to recall another aesthetic, the one that makes our actions and our life beautiful, and preserves them for eternal life. I will soon descend into the church and celebrate the Mass. I will thank God for what he has given you, and at the same time I will ask for all the very best for you and for your future husband. I bless you. Father Angelo

0 notes

iliveiloveiwrite · 3 years

Text

Pain in My Heart // Benedict Bridgerton

Request: Could I please request a Bridgerton imagine where Eloise or Daphne are trying to matchmake Reader with one of their brothers (you can pick which one) but Reader actually hits it off with another brother who's in love at first sight (again, your choice!!). - @libraryoffandomsuniverse

A/N: I am so sorry for how long this has taken!! I hope I have done your request justice. I had a lot of fun writing this, I’m pretty proud of what I’ve come up so I hope you like!! Thank you for requesting! Title: Pain in My Heart - Otis Redding

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!Reader (Platonic), Benedict Bridgerton x Fem!Reader (Romantic)

Warnings: pining, mutual pining, awful flirting (I can't write it for the life in me), unrequited love (?), a pride and prejudice moment, love confessions, fluff, very very light angst.

Word count: 4.7k

There wasn’t a lot that Daphne and Eloise Bridgerton had in common. It was thought by their mother that due to their closeness in age, they would get along swimmingly. However, by the time that Eloise could speak for herself, it became increasingly clear that there were to be no two people different than that of Eloise and Daphne.

However, whilst the two did not share the same tastes in music or literature, they were united in the hope that they would see their elder brothers happily in love.

It is on a Wednesday in the middle of February when Daphne decides that it is time for her eldest brother, Anthony, to find a wife.

Her decision is made when Anthony stalks into the family drawing room. The only sign of his anger being the blazing of his eyes. Dramatically, he throws himself onto the closest couch, his legs stretching across the pale blue fabric as he laments the meddling of mothers.

Daphne barely represses the urge to roll her eyes. She could tell that Eloise was having a hard time not telling her brother how easy he had it in comparison to rights of women and marriage.

Thankfully, however, Anthony is saved from such a lecture by the announcement of a beloved friend. (Y/N) (Y/L/N) had known the Bridgerton family for as long as she had been alive. The same age as Daphne, the two had fallen into an easy friendship that grew more cherished the more time passed.

Upon her announcement, Anthony sits up with keen interest. An action not missed by both Daphne and Eloise – they share a look, one only understood by sisters with masses of brothers.

“Dear (Y/N),” Daphne greets, standing from her chair to greet her lifelong friend, “How have you been?”

“I’ve been very well though it has only been a couple of days since you saw me last.”

Daphne laughs; a light and airy sound. “I can still miss you in that time. Come, sit by me and we can catch up.”

The two women are soon joined by Eloise who places her book down on the table, spine up so she does not lose her page. From where they sit, neither Anthony nor Benedict can hear what the women seem to be whispering about though it seems to be of a serious issue with grave looks on their faces.

Benedict decides that he doesn’t like the look of frustration on her face; the furrow of her brows. If it wouldn’t raise questions of his sanity, he would press his thumb to the furrow, smoothing out her brow so not a trace of the worry remained.

“(Y/N),” Anthony calls, interrupting the conversation currently taking place between the three women, “Would you be attending Lord and Lady Hopton’s ball later on this week? Lord Hopton has done nothing but discuss the expense being put into the event.”

(Y/N) swallows her small sip of tea, placing the cup and saucer down on the table before answering the eldest Bridgerton. “I do plan on attending,” She smiles, fiddling with her gloved fingers.

A pleased smile breaks out across Anthony’s face as he nods. Turning away from her, Anthony walks back to the pale blue couch that only mere moments ago he had thrown himself across in vexation at his dear mother. Now, he sits down gently, making sure every ounce of his nobility is on show.

Benedict cannot help but roll his eyes at the antics of his elder brother. As if on a covert mission for the crown, Benedict’s gaze slides back to her – runs over her figure, taking in the way her dress sits on her form and the way her smile lights up her whole face. He’s a fool in love, he realises, but he would rather be a fool in love with her than a fool in love with anyone else.

It’s as if he finally understands what the poets write about; how the artists never paint more than their muse. As Benedict peers down at the sketchbook in his hands, he comes to realise that he has been drawing her for months. He has found his muse and it’s close to breaking him when he sees the plotting glance shared between Daphne and Eloise.

(Y/N) sits at the table, utterly unaware of the plan being concocted between his sisters. He has the urge to scream, to yell but he keeps quiet. Benedict becomes the very definition of decorum; smiling politely at her when their eyes meet from across the room. The very moment sends his heart skipping a beat before picking up a rhythm he isn’t certain is compatible with life. He has to stop himself from reaching up to grab his chest to ensure his heart doesn’t beat right out of it.

All too soon the moment is over, and she returns to laughing with his younger sisters, but even she knows that something has changed between them. (Y/N) wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight; the very notion belonging only to fairytales, but she, herself, could not deny the thrill that overtook her body when she met the blue eyes of Benedict Bridgerton.

-----------

Lord and Lady Hopton owned one of the last remaining Tudor residences in London. Many had fallen during the reformation, but in some strange stroke of luck, the Hopton’s home had remained largely undamaged. From there, it passed down the male line as all properties and titles were wont to do in such a society.

The current Lord and Lady prided themselves on the tracking of their lineage, dedicating themselves to the conservation of their home. It was rare for them to throw a ball such as this one, but with the favourable weather, Lady Hopton was able to convince her husband it would be well enough for the courtyard to be used to entertain their nearest and dearest.

There was no set theme; an idea many were grateful for. As much as (Y/N) loved the dress up, the competitive nature between eligible ladies wasn’t something she was in the mood for.

The atmosphere is much more relaxed as (Y/N) takes a turn about the room, smiling politely at the women she has grown up with in London society. They would be civil towards each other, but there was no real friendships forged. (Y/N) was quite content with the Bridgerton brood.

Though they had arrived together, (Y/N) found herself wandering from the comforting presence of the family. She could feel Anthony’s eyes on her, and she thinks of Daphne’s suggestion from the other day; the eldest Bridgerton girl had all but suggested that (Y/N) marry Anthony.

Whilst the suggestion was flattering, (Y/N) hadn’t stopped thinking of the moment she shared with Benedict. She thinks of the moment often; remembers the way his stare felt, as if he was staring into her very soul and he liked what he found. She thinks of the way her body responded; the shiver sent through her and how she realised that she liked the way he looked at her. As if she hung the moon and stars in the sky for him, and him alone.

(Y/N) loses herself in the crowd. She wanders and wanders, watching new love form and old love strengthen as she catches sight of couples beginning their night. (Y/N) continues her ruminating until she bumps into something hard. Another body.

(Y/N) cringes when she finds herself face to face with the chest of Benedict Bridgerton. “Benedict!” She gasps, “I’m sorry.”

He steadies her with a gentle hand to her elbow. “You have nothing to apologise for. You looked to be deep in thought, I’m only sorry for interrupting you.”

(Y/N) feels her skin begin to flush. I was thinking of you, she wants to cry at the man, but she only just manages to refrain herself.

Benedict laughs before he can stop himself. “If you’re reacting like that, I have to know what you were thinking of.”

“Nothing for nosies,” She responds, a coy smile crossing her painted lips.

Benedict gasps, pressing a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “You wound me, (Y/N).”

“I’m sure you’ll recover,” (Y/N) laughs, patting Benedict’s arm in mock pity.

“I don’t know,” Benedict expresses, his eyes running over her face and outfit. “I think I’m going to need someone to nurse me back to health.”

(Y/N) feels her skin once again begin to heat at the insinuation in his words. She had encountered banter before with the Bridgerton brothers, but she had never encountered such overt flirting. Benedict’s eyes glittered with mirth; his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes – this was him. This was Benedict in his element; he was an artist, a gentleman, and a man that could render her speechless with a simple line of speech.

She finds it hard to respond for a moment; finds it hard to string two thoughts together in his intoxicating presence. She flounders for a second, watching Benedict continue to smile widely as if he had nothing better to do than waste time with her.

Eventually, she collects herself enough. She peers up at the man from under her lashes, fluttering them to the best of her ability as she whispers, “Such requests may make the recovery period a lot longer and a lot harder.”

Leaving the man speechless, (Y/N) pats his arm once more before taking her leave. Feeling hot and bothered by her encounter with Benedict, (Y/N) ambles over to drinks table. Daphne and Eloise stand there nursing their own drinks; they smile widely at their friend as she approaches the table.

“Have you given thought to what I suggested the other day?” Daphne asks; watching her best friend over the rim of her lemonade glass.

“Courting Anthony?” (Y/N) clarifies, reaching for her glass of the tepid drink. She frowns absentmindedly; it was one of the main issues with balls, they never could keep the drinks cold enough to be refreshing throughout the night. They almost always turned sour.

“The very suggestion,” (Y/N)’s dearest friend states with a smile.

“It wouldn’t work,” (Y/N) protests, urging her friends to see the truth. “We aren’t suited for each other.”

“Anthony disagrees,” Daphne chimes, looking and feeling all to superior in the conversation. “He confided to me only yesterday that he wants to court you.”

The ground is close to swallowing her whole; the walls becoming far too close for her liking. Her mouth is dry when she tries to swallow around the lump in her throat. “That wouldn’t be fair to him,” She croaks, feeling all too close to tears.

“Why not?” Daphne demands, making her vexation known by placing her hands on her hips.

“Daphne,” Eloise interrupts, glancing warily between the two women. “(Y/N) isn’t in love with Anthony. She’s in love with someone else.”

The fight leaves her beloved friend in an instant; she brings a hand to her mouth to cover the shock of Eloise’s words. “I didn’t know,” She whispers, “I wouldn’t have pushed so hard.”

“I know you wouldn’t have,” (Y/N) appeases, “I’m rather new to this.”

“Do we know who it is?” Daphne asks, unable to keep the excitement off her face as she thinks of the handful of men worthy enough to love her dear friend.

(Y/N) sighs, deciding whether to come clean and tell her longest friend that she has found herself hopelessly in love with her brother. She hadn’t even expected it. “It’s Benedict,” She eventually confesses, feeling pressured by the investigative gaze of Daphne Bridgerton.

“Benedict?” Daphne asks, confused, “As in my other brother?”

“The very same,” (Y/N) comments lightly… too lightly as if ready to be on the defence for her feelings for Benedict.

Daphne blinks once, twice before her face breaks with the most beautiful smile. “Oh (Y/N)!” She cries, “This is wonderful!”

“He might not love me back,” (Y/N) whispers, doing her best to keep a light spin on the situation but the idea that Benedict may not return her feelings hurts far more than it should.

“And Anthony still wants to court you,” Eloise reminds her, her voice close to pity.

“Speaking of the devil,” Daphne murmurs with a smile on her face, “Anthony is heading this way.”

“He is?” (Y/N) asks, pivoting on the spot to the find the eldest Bridgerton making his way through the crowd. He smiles at his sisters, briefly checking their glasses to ensure they were sticking strictly to the lemonade offered. When he is suited with what he finds, he turns to (Y/N) and holds out his hand. “Would you care to dance?” He asks her with a confident smile.

She nods her consent, taking his offered hand and allowing herself to be led to the floor. Anthony leads her expertly across the floor; lessons as a child and years in the London society forging him to be an impressive dancer. He makes her laugh as they continue dance, and whilst (Y/N) has a good time with the eldest Bridgerton, she cannot see herself falling for the man like she can see her entire future with Benedict.

------------

The ball had wound down naturally; families and lovers beginning to make their way home through the early morning London streets. (Y/N) travels with the Bridgertons, having arrived with them in the first place. Daphne focuses on the streets of London, doing her best not to fall asleep before getting home to her bed.

“How are you getting home?” Daphne asks, not removing her gaze from the darkened streets of the capital city.

“I’m not sure, I don’t want to have to wait for another carriage,” (Y/N) complains, holding a hand to her mouth to cover a yawn that had slipped out. The tiredness was clinging to her bones now; she wanted nothing more to crawl into her own bed, sink into the pillows and fall into a dreamworld where Benedict climbs into the other side of the bed.

“Stay with us,” Eloise invites, meeting Anthony’s eyes.

“I wouldn’t be an imposition?” (Y/N) asks smally; the last thing she wanted was to be burden on her friends.

“You never could be,” Anthony smiles, “You’re always welcome to stay the night.”

“Thank you, Anthony,” She whispers, reaching for his hand in the dark and squeezing.

Silence falls for the rest of the ride; the weariness of each of them punctuating the air, creating a warmer atmosphere that leaves (Y/N) blinking away sleep. Eloise does her best to remain awake, but her head soon winds up on Anthony’s shoulder to which the man looks the surprised. He recovers quickly, adjusting his younger sister to make her more comfortable.

The Bridgerton siblings and (Y/N) all sigh in blessed relief when the carriage rolls to a stop outside Bridgerton House. The door opening lets in a cold blast of air, making her shiver as she reaches for the handle to help herself down.

“Here,” Benedict’s voice sounds in the dark light of night, “Let me help you.”

His hand reaches for hers; it clasps hers gently as he helps her down from the carriage. All too soon, his hand falls from hers and (Y/N) is left feeling bereft from the absence of his touch. “Thank you,” She whispers, taking a risk and glancing up at the blue eyes already fixed steadily on her.

“You’re welcome,” He murmurs. Benedict glances back to the carriage to find the rest of his family descending on them. “Goodnight,” He whispers, ducking his head in a bow and leaving her on the steps of Bridgerton House.

(Y/N) watches the man depart in somewhat of a daze. If she focused hard enough, she could still feel his hand in hers. She could feel every fingerprint, every crease, every line in his palm. She could feel it all; she wanted to feel more. She wanted everything with that man; would happily offer up her everything for a single glimpse at what it could be like to wake up in his arms and be happy.

Sighing heavily, she touches a hand to her forehead, pausing in the grand entryway of the Bridgerton family home. She felt so keenly for the man that she knew she would suffer the worst fate to man should he not return her feelings: heartbreak.

“(Y/N)?” Anthony calls from the door, his arm around Eloise’s waist. “Would you meet me in my study? I need to talk to you.”

“Of course,” She allows, smiling at the sight before her. Anthony whispers something to his sister to which Eloise offers her goodnights and begins to climb the stairs to her room, Anthony following behind her with a worried look on his face that only a beloved brother could master.

Anthony’s study smelled of wood polish; the mahogany desk sitting by the windows being the main feature of the room. It’s dark wood providing the much of the fragrance in the room; it’s a comforting scent. (Y/N) smiles when she realises that it’s comforting as it reminds her of the Viscount; the scent of his spicy cologne intermingled with the wood, becoming one and the same.

“Thank you for waiting,” Anthony whispers, closing the door behind him, “I know how tired you are, but I really wanted to speak to you.”

“Whatever’s the matter?”

Suddenly, Anthony no longer holds the prowess of a Viscount but rather, looks like the eighteen year old boy handed a peerage all too soon. He runs a hand through his hair out of nerves, pacing back and forth behind his desk. Eventually, he comes to a slow stop, resting his hands on the back of his father’s ageing chair. “Have you given any thought to your future?”

“It’s been on my mind more and more these days,” She answers honestly. It’s all she has thought of since her eyes met Benedict’s across the room and she got a glimpse into what her mornings, afternoons, evenings with the man could be like.

“I think we could be good together,” Anthony argues, offering up a slice of his heart for the taking, “I think we work well together.”

“Anthony, may I be honest with you for a moment?”

“I’d hope for nothing more.”

She takes a deep breath; steeling her nerves before smiling at the Viscount. “With all due respect, I don’t think you do love me.”

Anthony moves to interrupt her; a flash of anger and upset in his eyes. He quietens when she holds up a single hand; begging him to let her continue. “Anthony, I think you were looking for someone to stop your mother from pestering you about marriage. I just happened to walk into the room at the right moment.”

Anthony frowns; he takes in (Y/N)’s words, letting them roll around his mind as he thinks back to the first day when he realised he could truly love the woman sitting in front of him. Violet Bridgerton had been on him from the moment he walked through the front door; producing yet another list of eligible women in London that he could find a potential match in. He had taken the list from his beloved mother and in the privacy of his study, he had ripped the list to tiny pieces making sure that none of the names were legible.

On some level, he has always loved her. (Y/N) had been in his life from the very day she was born; mother being friends, Violet able to offer (Y/N)’s advice as she was her firstborn. At this point, Violet was a seasoned expert on motherhood. Anthony had always known of the girl that was best friends with Daphne; he had watched her grow up. On some level, he has always had some feeling for her.

He knows know, though, that those feelings could never broach romance. There was too deep an affection between them.

“You’re right,” Anthony states, “It wouldn’t be a love match.”

“It wouldn’t,” She affirms, taking a seat in front of the large, wooden desk. Silhouettes of his parents and siblings decorate the space; it brings a fond smile to her face. Anthony presented a strong front, but in private, he was as much the adoring son and brother.

“But you think you have found your love match,” Anthony declares, wanting to clear the air.

“I’m not sure,” She laughs mirthlessly. “I have no clue as to whether he feels the same.”

“He’d be an idiot, not to,” Anthony compliments, “Do I know the lucky man?”

(Y/N) looks sheepish as she stares at the Viscount. She had already confessed to Daphne and Eloise – what harm could one more person do?

“It’s Benedict.”

“You love him,” Anthony whispers; not an accusation, not an ounce of anger in his voice. A simple fact stated for the room.

(Y/N) nods. “I do. I love him with all that I am and all that I know I could be.”

A sad, bittersweet smile crosses Anthony’s face; he won’t speak of how the words hurt him. He reaches for her hand and clasps it tightly between both of his.

“Go to him,” He whispers, “You have my blessing.”

(Y/N) stands. Her intention is to leave the room and find the Bridgerton who had so readily taken root within her heart, but first she crosses to where Anthony stands behind his desk. He watches her with curious eyes as the silk of her glove brushes his cheek; his eye flutter closed when he feels the featherlight press of her lips and the whisper of her gratitude.

Anthony keeps his eyes closed when she pulls away from him; he keeps them closed until he hears the tell-tale click of the door. It is only then that Anthony allows himself to open his eyes and peer into the heartbreak now cracking open his chest. Not for the love he though he felt, but for the utter want racing through his body. He wants a love like that; he was going to find a love like that.

They would be happy together; he thinks to himself as he breathes in the floral scent of her perfume. They would be happy together, perfectly suited to the point that Anthony craves such intimacy. One day; he promises, one day he would hold such a treasure within his hands.

-------------

Bridgerton House remained warm and inviting even after the family had long retired for bed. The sconces lining the walls still lit; their warm light easy on anyone’s eyes should they need to traverse the hallways for whatever reason.

The path to Benedict’s room isn’t one she has taken often. Thinking on it, (Y/N) realises that save for being shown the door on her first ever visit to the London home, she has not stepped foot close to the room since. Until tonight, that is.

Her skirts swish delicately underfoot as (Y/N) makes her way to his room. She doesn’t dare utter a single breath for the fear of being caught; all around her slumber her closest friends. If she were caught by a member of staff, her reputation balanced on being ruined.

Her hand trembles as she clenches it into a fist, raises it to the plain white door and knocks twice. She waits on the threshold, twisting her fingers into her skirts – a nervous habit she’s had since she was a child. She was thankful that she no longer bit her nails down to the bed.

“Come in,” calls his quiet voice and her nerves only heighten. Taking a deep breath, she pushes open the door that could reveal her future.

“(Y/N),” Benedict gasps, the deep v of his shirt falling open, revealing far more of his bare chest than (Y/N) had expected to see tonight.

“I wanted to talk to you,” She whispers, hovering between the doorway and his room. She does her best to not stare at the defined muscles on display but loses the battle. Her eyes run over the parts of his muscular torso and the strong forearms shown with the sleeves of white shirt rolled up. She didn’t think it was possible to be attracted to the forearms of a person, but here was Benedict proving her wrong.

“What if you get caught?” He whisper-asks, worry lacing his tone as he glances at something behind her. She turns on instinct only to find an empty hallway and three lit sconces.

“Anthony knows where I am,” She retorts, stepping further into Benedict’s room.

“Anthony?”

“He gave me his blessing.”

“To enter my room… unattended… late at night?”

“Essentially, yes,” She smiles, thinking back to her conversation with the Viscount.

“Why were you talking to Anthony?” Benedict asks before he can stop himself. He doesn’t like the simmering jealousy he feels that the picture of (Y/N) alone with Anthony in his study. He clears his throat to chase away the hollow ache of envy; he doesn’t want to picture the conversation. He doesn’t think he could handle it.

“He asked me to court him.”

“Oh,” Benedict responds, feeling his heart begin to crack in his chest. “What did you say?”

“I told him I couldn’t. We wouldn’t suit each other and one other thing.”

“What other thing?”

“I don’t love him. I love someone else.”

“You do? Do I know them?”

(Y/N) laughs, stretching her arms out as she gestures to Benedict’s bedroom. “I’m stood in your room in the middle of the night, Benedict, with full knowledge that if I were to be caught by any of the staff, I would be ruined. What does that tell you?”

Benedict frowns, refusing to let himself fall into the hope growing in his chest. He feels like Icarus; too close to the sun, too close to thing he wants most in this world.

“Stop this pain in my heart,” She commands weakly. “Stop this pain and tell me if you feel the same. If you don’t, I understand but I’d ask you not to tell anyone of this midnight visit.”

His mouth runs dry, and he finds it hard to answer. He’s falling, falling, falling for the woman stood across from him and he cannot find the words to accurately describe the depth of his feelings for her. That day in the drawing room – he’s known her for years, always been aware of her, but that day, it was as if he was finally seeing her for the pure beauty that she inhabits. She could rival Aphrodite herself.

Upset shutters across (Y/N)’s face as she nods twice, trying her best to keep the burn of tears at bay. “It’s okay, Benedict,” She whispers, turning for the door, “Thank you for listening.”

At the last moment, Benedict reaches out and snatches her wrist. “Don’t go,” He pleads, “Don’t leave me. I don’t think I could live with myself if you left me.”

“I don’t understand,” She whispers; confusion lacing her voice. Her eyebrows furrow as she stares at the man before her, “You didn’t say anything. You stayed silent; I took that as my cue to leave.”

Benedict shakes his head. “Don’t go,” He whispers, bringing a hand up to card through the loose strands of hair framing her face. He almost preens as she leans into his touch. “I feel the same, I love you just the same,” Benedict confesses; feeling the weight leave his chest.

“You do?” She asks; her voice small but hopeful.

“I do,” Benedict smiles, brushing her cheek with his finger, “I think I always have, but I didn’t realise until recently.”

(Y/N) sniffles as tears threaten to make an appearance. She laughs wetly, unable to stop the giggle from leaving her mouth as Benedict wipes away the tears. “I hope those are happy tears,” He murmurs wryly.

“They are,” She answers, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him down to her level. “They definitely are.”

“Good,” He answers.

Their faces are so close now it would only take a fraction of a movement to press their lips together; to seal the promise of their union. “Kiss me, Benedict,” She whispers; need lacing her voice as she stares into his famously blue eyes.

Benedict doesn’t need to be told twice; it isn’t often he gets to kiss a goddess.

********

Bridgerton taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @dreaming-about-fanfictions @now-its-time-for-a-breakdown @janelongxox @magicalxdaydream @aspiringsloth20 @wallwriterstuff @darkestbeforethedawn16 @gryffindors-weasley @spideysz

Taglist is open! Drop me an ask to be added! :)

#benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict x reader #benedict bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfic #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton imagines #bridgerton fanfiction

985 notes · View notes