kinetic-elaboration
what a strange, sad day it's been
30s. bi woman.
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it's always springtime.
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Ficbinding: An Internal Affair by nirejseki
I had the chance recently to bind this for @robininthelabyrinth recently and I had a lot of fun with it! I'm not very familiar with the fandom and I had a great time getting to know the characters (albeit an AU version of at least one of them) while figuring out how I would design the book.
The marbled paper I found for the endpages (a red/gold chevron that I thought was reminiscent of a lightning bolt pattern) had such straight, even lines that I got the idea to set one stripe of it as an inset band on the cover. I'm pretty happy with that, might do something similar in future book designs!
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April 29: Writing Thoughts
I’m having a jumble of thoughts that I suppose is part of my creative process: it mostly involves just feeling too much and being kind of overwhelmed and obsessing over the same beats, moments, characters, character traits, relationships, and bits of dialogue, over and over in an ever-shortening loop. It’s fun for a while, and as I said, I do think it’s part of the process, but then at some point it reaches the end of its usefulness. That point is definitely now, both because it’s starting to make me feel ragged, and because I need to get to sleep. And I need to work on the drawer fic first. On the one hand, this is the work I’ve been obsessing over. I feel more invested in it than I have in a while. On the other hand, I’m overwhelmed and feel like I need to separate myself from the thing, not work on it in an enjoyable manner. Also, I’ve been rereading the last two major scenes, and while I wouldn’t say I dislike them, I feel like they lack some of the incision of other scenes, in this fic and in general. They’re a little rambly, and I’m not sure I get to the point in either of them. A part of me thinks this is okay because there is no point. Another part is uncertain and skeptical and sort of embarrassed they’re not better. But then, of course—this story is for me first and foremost, and it was always supposed to be more about the journey and the process of writing, and the enjoyment of writing, more than anything else.
So, I don’t know. I want to rest and re-set but then I also do want to be creative. But like when I’m in a different mindset, which I know is very much an excuse.
I think I’m a little antsy for something but I don’t know what. Also—I have totally not celebrated enough that I finished the draft of a fic I started working on in 2017. Completing an I-swear-it’s-not-abandoned draft like that: totally unheard of. They said it couldn’t be done. I think I had been thinking about it as ‘all but done’ for so long that the transition to ‘actually done’ is too easy, doesn’t feel like much. Plus it’s not post-able yet, and it’s pretty far down in the edit-queue. And finally, I don’t know what WIP list fic is going to come next. So nothing really seems real.
I think the editing queue, which I’m going to start in on after I catch up on Whale Weekly, is something like this:
Talk about timing…
D/J College AU Ch 1
Mist (? Might push this one back even more, I’m not sure)
J/M Fic
D/J College AU Ch 2
But depending on how fast and far ahead I’m writing on the D/J fic that second chapter might get moved up. We’ll see.
And on the writing front, I think I’ll focus on the D/J fic until I can decide if I want to start the Road Trip AU or not. I… think I do. I’m currently leaning toward it. But I’ve swayed toward and away a hundred times. I think it’s closer than any other project and there are aspects of it I really do like. But a part of me is just really unkeen on starting something I don’t fully think I’ll finish, if I’m being very honest with myself. And if I do finish it, it will only be after a really quite considerable effort. Which I think I fear more than an abandoned story. Like objectively this is not where I should be putting my energy. But… I know so much about the first chapter, and if I can do it right it would be so good, and so overall, it’s quite tempting.
I’m glad I have something else, a fic I actually am quite enjoying and feeling optimistic about, to give me something definite to work on while I figure these other priorities out. I’m pretty impatient to post this thing… it’s part of the jittery feeling, wanting to work and get stuff done, for some arbitrary accomplishment that nevertheless lives quite strongly in my brain.
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how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)
there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~
I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:
url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant
url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first
url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order
url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes
url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now
url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc
url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly
url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant)
the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog!
caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks.
if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else
if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims)
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For the fic asks: 30 and 33?
30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.
so many
No but for real, I have had a lingering one on my mind for ages. One of my most popular posts on Tumblr, from six years ago, was a sci-fi AU for Mike x Eleven from Stranger Things. I've had a document open ever since then since and any time I thought I'd work on it... nothing happened. Here's the summary:
Even though Mike knows he’s not the best at video games (like Dustin and Lucas), he’s still super excited about winning the contest to try out the newest virtual reality game, THE UPSIDE DOWN. A gritty, futuristic setting with plenty of action and mystery? His brain can’t even come up with enough story lines for what could potentially happen.
But things take a turn once he’s hooked up to the game. Even the smallest injury feels oddly real and he can’t figure out how to log out no matter how much he tries.
Then there’s the girl. She looked like just a side character at first but then she interrupts a scene and the game goes haywire. She’s been programmed with the name Eleven and she tells Mike that her step-father, Martin Brenner, is the creator behind the game and that as a punishment for her trying to run away, he’s uploaded her into the game. And Mike’s her only chance of getting herself out and back to reality.
With Eleven breaking her coding to speak to him, the game begins to glitch out and as the world around them crumbles, more and more characters begin to turn on the two of them. The stakes become higher and higher as Mike’s chance of injury (or even death) increases, the two of them convinced that anything that happens to Mike here will effect him physically outside the game. It’s going to take a lot more skill than he thinks he has, but Mike doesn’t have much of an option.
In order to save himself and Eleven, he needs to win.
Or it’s game over.
And it's still an idea that I love, I think I've always just felt deeply that I wouldn't do the story itself justice. The tone never felt right when I tried, the details never came to mind. It plagues me a little bit but I think I've finally comfortably moved on from the fact I'll never write it!
33. Give your writing a compliment.
I feel like I'm good at creating worlds for the characters to exist in, that allows them to feel canon but match the AU setting I've picked! I really love atmosphere, but I'm also pretty picky about how I write the characters. I want everything to feel cohesive, both as a movie, but also that I've plucked the characters out of canon and made them exist believably in the story! And I think I'm pretty good at it!
Ask me a question from this prompt list about writing!
#fandom friends#she-who-the-river-could-not-hold#totally relatable to have a story idea around for that long#maybe one day working on it will just feel right#i always really enjoy the atmosphere you build in your fics!
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Evenings on the lake
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April 28: Today's Writing
Yet again a weekend where I just laze around becoming nocturnal for two days and then write on Sunday evening and finally start to feel better. This time, I worked on the Jonty fic and finally (finally!) finished it. It is done! Definitely too long at 13k but I also don't care. It's going to go into the vault for a bit because there are other stories ahead of it in the edit queue, and the I will polish it up and post it.
Here is a short excerpt. tw for references to suicidal ideation
*
Monty breathes in and his chest rattles. He hugs Jasper closer, as if to suffocate him, as if to impart the same level of hurt to him; the gentle, bleak words linger on in the quiet, and Monty feels a well of almost-tears in his eyes.
A part of him, distant: maybe wanting Jasper to live was selfish. Maybe he only cared about his own loneliness, and not what his best friend wanted. What he might actually have wanted, confusing and wrong as it seemed.
“No,” he murmurs, out loud and to himself. He feels Jasper stiffen slightly, but he doesn't repeat and he doesn't explain. In his own mind, the word echoes again and again. Jasper wasn't dying. He could still live. He is still living. He didn't welcome the end of the world with rationality; he has been so deeply wounded that he is no longer rational; he's winding his way without that instinct for survival that Monty so takes for granted in himself, that he needs. Without it, he can't access optimism or hope. Even his most beautiful, transcendent moments are tarnished with nihilism, the bleak acceptance of doom.
Such an obvious, raw wound. But he's never seen it. He thought he did but that was only on his own terms. They've been speaking for a long time now in completely different tongues.
“I'm sorry,” he says.
Jasper breathes in a hard, wet sniffling sound. He tangles their legs together. “For what?”
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The way I see it is: we can spend our last days wallowing in our reasons or we can do… we can do whatever the hell we want. I really mean it this time.
favourite bellamy + jasper scene; requested by @jasperjoordan
#the 100#jasper jordan#bellamy blake#gif#apr24wc#honestly this scene is better than the 13k fic i just finished on this same theme#ah well
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He was so pleased with the garden that season.
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she doesn’t have symptoms, but that could change. We need to keep her here just in case
The Best of The 100: One True Family
Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia (1.10)
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me forcing my followers to look at my newest obsession
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NIRVANA
MTV Unplugged in New York | x
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