#cursed asks

[nunalastor]

#hazbin hotel #cursed asks

[lynxindisguise]

Teenage Sirius copes with pureblood parties by sucking cock including but not limited to: both Lestrange brothers and Lucius Malfoy (they have already married his cousins).

YES, and he's absolutely shameless about it. frequently jokes about it just to watch them all squirm as they pretend he's being a crude annoying teenager (narcissa buys it, bellatrix is impressed... mostly that someone is willing to go near rodolphus's cock).

remus also knows this and as a teenager he was horrified by it but as an adult he is absolutely nudge-nudge wink-winking lucius malfoy about sirius's cock-sucking skills at every opportunity.

send me your cursed thoughts

#ask the lynx #cursed asks #bat tag

[heartfullofleeches]

Hey so like I have a crack question about Baron that’s been plaguing my mind recently

If Baron’s naked 24/7 where are his things?? Like- the pistols if you know what I mean. Are they just out?? Can he cloak them?? Does he wear underwear?? This man walks around in his birthday suit constantly and you’re telling me he’s not the least bit cold??

That’s all- I apologize if you see this-

You cannot pay this man to wear boxers and I cant live with myself if he's just walking around with hanging them out so ye he can cloak them. The weird streaks on his body sorta act like a organic censor down there to make things a bit simpler and I think I actually made his parts like people do with Nagas where they come out of a slit for some reason

#Baron my oc #Cursed asks #yandere oc #male yandere

[marry-me-mello]

How stinky do you like your feet before you lick them?

#hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #dad beat dad #cursed asks #memes

[welcometololaland]

20!

hehe hello michelle. this one was the best question - so good i'll answer it twice!

20. oh no! the kids are hooked on your fics. what behaviours are their parents now concerned about??

i regret to inform the parents that the kids are now:

signing a 12 month lease with their enemy by accident;

card counting in las vegas;

letting cats drive buses;

fighting 1 customer per day as per lola's rules of hospo work;

quasi-adopting a young child on a hawaiian vacation;

playing a four hour tennis match and then going on a walk around paris;

marking up iron clad NDAs;

being a speed demon on the roads;

having sex in a hospital storage closet;

taking electronics into the shower;

fighting over the only bed left in the furniture store;

using a 'magic' theme to dress up as magic mike;

filming carlos reyes in public and making him into a tiktok star;

getting turned on by a mutual hatred of flower arches;

being overrun by ants;

getting trapped in grocery store parking lots;

making supermassive mistakes;

lying (by omission) to their boyfriend about living with their mom;

getting walked in on by their mom (during the morning after);

adopting some very strange coffee habits;

chewing earbuds;

insisting that jerking off together in the shower isn't sex;

performing as the lead in an underwater adaptation of macbeth;

naming a rat after their crush;

buying aquarium rocks when they don't have fish; and

near bankrupting themselves at a pet store.

spoiler: the kids are not okay.

#lolaland answers #lolaland fic #cursed asks #heartstringsduet

[fanficmemes]

Mpreg where the birth happen by the dick, meaning pretty much always death for the parent gives birth.

Spell of Explode Your Penis 2/10 yeah we’ve all seen it

#asks #cursed asks

[honeygrahambitch]

she hannibal on my crab till i hrab

Clear. Please. Collect your people.

#my jaw dropped #im still in shock #hannibal #asks #cursed asks

[cursedimagedump]

I present to you:

Already have it? No big. But like c’mon man the world needs to see this

struggling to decide what the best part is: the giant “NO SEX,” smut busters, the very. wet background graphic, the fact that it’s just sitting in a normal parking lot, the social media??

#cursed image #cursed aura #N/S/F/W #cursed asks #three-fourths-anonymous

[caring-for-crewmates]

Yes, amongi are mammals.

No, you should not milk them.

This has been my TED talk. Thank you.

#among us #among us babies #among us husbandry #amogus #cursed asks #in regards to some cursed asks i've been sent

[iwouldfuckdarkiplier]

walking into Darks office during Christmas like "I see a ho ho hoe"

#anonymous #Mod A #cursed asks #Darkiplier #Darkiplier/Reader #Darkiplier x Reader

[nunalastor]

To the guy who wanted alastor eating a burrito, I can't draw that but here's something similar

I have a confession though, I am afraid of eating burritos. Thinking about the texture scares me

😭

#hazbin hotel #alastor #cursed cat alastor #cursed asks #he's beautiful #hazbin hotel fanart

[lynxindisguise]

also since u asked for cursed hcs i was wondering if umbridge ever bought a leash for catmcgoogles and how that made mcgoogles feel? i feel like obviously mcgoo would be amazing at being the dominant one no question there but maybe, just maybe a part of her actually enjoys how forbidden it feels to walk around hogwarts in that pink leash with dolores, knowing full well she could just transform and put an end to it at any moment so really it's still all on her terms but she chooses to submit to her okay this is so cursed idk where i am going with this i am stopping now but yes. any more cursed mcbridge thoughts? they are haunting my brain

oh my godddd cat this is so cursed 😭 I do love the idea of her choosing to submit on her own terms, but I feel like she’d keep it to the privacy of one of their offices. both of them would rather die than risk having this relationship found out.

idk what other submissive things cats do lol. are cats ever submissive? we should probably know this, as cats.

#ask the lynx #cursed asks #mcbridge #bored bar wench hours #cat tag

[haleigh-sloth]

I thought Ujiko was older than AFO, shouldn't he be the one being called daddy? It's the one who's older that gets the nickname right? or am I misunderstanding how the daddy thing works??

In regards to this…

I consulted with my friend who I consider to be an expert in Daddyism and this was her response

Based off my very reliable source @emmihara I’m gonna say AFO retains the title

#pls ignore the server names #bnha asks #cursed asks #I hate my ask box right now #it’s so funny #it’s awful

[marry-me-mello]

Would you sacrifice your family to Bill Cypher?

Anything to get Bill to notice me because that means Dipper would come and I could nerd out with him about stuff.

Short answer yes but only the people I dislike :)

#asks #asks open #answered #cursed answers #cursed asks

[welcometololaland]

Which fic are you using to introduce yourself to your new therapist?

I think it would be a simple question of Speak for Yourself and The Ring-In and I would go to the therapist and say, "My first fics are the most popular - does this mean I have gotten progressively WORSE at writing??? What's wrong with me????"

To which the therapist would say, "Um, I'm a therapist, not an expert on writing fanfiction."

So, I guess we would be off to a bad start?

[cursed asks, if you like]

#cursed asks #lolaland answers #liminalmemories21

[fanficmemes]

guy trips into a lake and gets seduced by a salmon. mpreg ensues.

Yeah yeah yeah the ol “gets seduced by salmon” we’ve all seen it 3.5/10

#asks #cursed asks #sjsjakakkakakaka jkjkjk I’ve never seen it #was it a humanoid salmon??? #or just a fucking fish #COME BACK I NEED TO KNOW