#depression roots

[linusbenjamin]

Person of Interest 4.11 'If-Then-Else'

#person of interest #poiedit #tvedit #poi spoilers #harold finch #root #samantha groves #the machine #nikolatexla #this episode cured my depression cleaned my skin and erased all my past traumas

[lethxia]

mic pushing erasers goggles up his forehead before kissing him. not out of inherently romantic purposes like "i wanted to look into his deep chocolate brown honey gold soft doe eyes". just so he doesnt have to take his own sunglasses off because if they kiss like that their respective eyegear would clack together. Loudly. and present mic has a Look going on. the shades are a crucial part of him. they stay on during intense make out sessions And fights alike, ya dig?

#theyre so loser coded #like im sorry but even when rooted in tragedy theyre whimsical at heart #born to be silly #forced to go to war #erasermic #depression duo #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #bnha #eraserhead #hizashi yamada #present mic #shouta aizawa

[kenaissance]

colt’s rare moments of vulnerability

#colt seavers #ryan gosling #the fall guy #i think colt is one of the most intriguing characters he’s played #something about despair combined with ryan’s silly characters #depression/apathy with holland + growing up and feelings of desperation with ken #and surface-level regret and longing mixed with deeply rooted insecurities and yearning #the struggles of thinking that he’s no good anymore before he being called to jody’s set really touched me

[elialys]

"Next weekend, we could…go on a date. Start dating." "Saturday?" "Friday."

THE NEWSREADER | 1.03 | Helen x Dale

#Anna Torv #Sam Reid #Helen Norville #Dale Jennings #The Newsreader #Helen x Dale #helendale #tumblr mobile compression is stealing a little more of my soul every time i post a gifset now #just assume i make everything for desktop tumblr because i am #anyway THOSE TWO ARE TOO PRECIOUS AND TOO PRETTY #the way his finger trails her jaw & chin like???? #let's go back to the start 😭 #'were they intimate?' #i don't know karen WERE THEY #gifs* #mine #gonna make a depressing helen gifset next #too much softness this week #i need to go back to my roots #aka evilness

[acidheaddd]

Had a really bad day today, so thank you guys for the replies, likes, and reblogs. I do appreciate it.

I have a favour to ask as I'm in desperate need of money to fix two of my front teeth before I lose them -- if you are at all interested in tarot, spell bottles, crystals, anything like that, let me know. I do readings, I make bottles on my etsy shop (that I need to restock), and I have loads of crystals to sell.

And if you aren't interested in any of that, but are willing and able to help, you can always send me some donations to my paypal at @Haley999

I'd rather at least send you something in return, but. I'd appreciate any amount. I have a crown I need to get, which I MIGHT be able to get the insurance to cover, but I have two other teeth literally rotting that need to be handled soon or else I'll lose them -- they'll either have to be pulled or they will crumble and fall out as I had happen with another tooth that has since been fixed. Each tooth costs $300, so it'll be $600 total. I'll reblog this with a link to my etsy once I get things restocked.

#i've been crying ever since i got home from the dentist #this is what 2 decades of depression and poor dental work gets you #i have trauma surrounding dentists because of the things I experienced as a kid #and i had issues that were never properly addressed so as I've gotten older they've inevitably gotten worse #i've already had two root canals #and 5 teeth bonded #i can't have any other work done until my last two are fixed at least #i don't know what to do #we're about to lose the house and have to sell #i'm so stressed out and tired and i'm crying again sdjfhksdhf #i don't want to beg but i don't know what else to do

[morverenmaybewrites]

Hi! I'm so glad you're back, new chapter of Pizza girl was amazing as always, for me it's absolutely the best dc fic ever!

I especially love how the relationship between Jason and other characters feels heartbreakingly natural, how it isn't a case of "love magically cured trauma" but rather slowly and messyly opening up, and trying to heal with the help of right people at right time.

And as much as I cannot wait for Jason and pizza girl to have more straight up romantic shenanigans, I love how they started with gaining each other trust and building their friendship, I adore them as domestic buddies.

I have a question, if it isn't some kind of spoiler of course, at this point of the story, does Jason have (or wants to have) a life outside of his Red Hood persona? And I mean it half psychologically half practically (similarly to pizza girl, how does he earn money if being a vigilante isn't a source of income?)

But seriously, I find it heartbreaking that as much as he yearns for home, he still lives in safe houses, and I was so happy when he thought about asking Babs for help in looking for something more permanent for himself. And it fits into his fear of being traced of course, but got me thinking, in a more personal sense, does he have a motivations for living other than trying to make up for his mistakes as Arkham Knight?

Something like: does he realise that there's Red Hood who fights for those who can't do it for themselves, but there's also Jason who likes the smell of new books, has his favorite mug and favorite way of drinking coffee, has his favorite chair at the local library, who maybe has quiet and innocent dream to get a degree or his dream job and be loved and needed by someone?

Does he realise the second one exists and deserves to be cherished by him?

(Sorry if this ask is too much, I just now realised how long it got 😭 I will absolutely understand if you don't have time to answer this)

Anyway thank you for writing this amazing and captivating work, I can't wait for next chapters, whenever they'll be ready❤

In the meantime I hope you get time to rest and have fun! Stay safe!

This is a wonderful breakdown of Jason's character! To answer your question, does Jason have a life outside of his Red Hood persona? No. Does he want one? Unconsciously, the answer is yes, but I don't think he can acknowledge it right now. For years following the Joker's torture, he's pretty much been in survival mode, keeping himself alive by being obsessed with a singular goal. First, it was to kill the Joker and Batman, and then when he found out the Joker was dead, it was to kill Batman. Now, it's to seek redemption as the Red Hood. While he may have (somewhat) progressed from his days as the Arkham Knight, he's still clinging to the same unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's a little (or a lot) like depression. He's so focused on getting through today and the next day and the next day that there's little room for anything else. Hobbies and friends and a place to feel at home in sound nice, but they also sound absolutely unattainable. And he's lived with that mindset for so long that he's all but forgotten that there are different ways to live. That's where Jason's head is right now. Maybe one day, he'll progress enough that he'll be able to look around his safehouse, so sparse that it's no different from a prison cell, and he'll think to himself that he wants something more. And it doesn't have to be anything big. Nothing so grand as the Wayne Manor. Just a small place, maybe above a bookstore. Maybe in the beginning, it's not so different from his safehouses. Just a mattress on the floor and a bathroom. But then one day, he'll add something small. Some secondhand book he bought from the store for the change he had in his pocket. It's from an author he's never heard of before. The writing is a little clunky, but it's enough to pass the time while he's waiting for updates on his cases. Maybe he reads it next to his window, by the light of the flickering street lamps, trying not to grimace at the way the hard wood is digging into his back. Maybe one of his siblings or even the reader notices. She takes him to one of her favorite flea markets under the guise of buying a new rug. And he ends up taking back an armchair, so old that the stuffing is coming out in places. But he makes do, the way he always has, he washes away the accumulated dust and dirt, he patches up the holes, and he places it next to his window. Where the street lamp shines just enough light to read by, even if it often flickers. He opens his book, written by an author he's never heard of before. The writing is a little clunky in places. But for now, he thinks, it's enough. (And maybe he'll read until morning. And maybe he'll realize, or maybe not: that the Jason Todd who used to spend hours in the Wayne Manor library, who had a favorite armchair by the fire, is still in there, somewhere. And perhaps, he'll think--or perhaps not--that the Joker hasn't killed everything that he used to be. Perhaps there's still a little bit of Robin left in him.)

#jason todd x reader #jason todd analysis #Jason finding a place to call him days at the morisaki bookshop style #moving into the second floor of a bookstore owned by a sweet old man #giving him the cozy vibes he deserves UGH #lowkey makes me want to write something about jason finally getting a place of his own #as someone who was stuck in a depressive pit for a long time and still struggle with it on occasion this ended up being highkey personal #rooting for you jay #THIS MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE A SHORT ABOUT JASON FINDING HIS OWN COZY PLACE IN THE WORLD #NO CASES #JUST COZY VIBES

[mewvore]

I know I don't have ADHD because anytime I see a post thats like "this is what its like to have ADHD" it is the most insanely unrelatable thing I've ever seen and all the replies are all like "yup das me" I'm like damn...that shits rough homies

#I just have that super omega depression #Godspeed you guys I'm rooting for you

[thatpunktransboy]

They really don't tell you that you'll spend your mid 20s catching up for what mental illness caused you to neglect and destroy between highschool and now

#ive spent the past 2 years catching up on it all #if youre depressed and have energy for 1 thing pls pls pls for the love of god let it be your teeth #brush your teeth #being dirty won't cost you $7000 5 years from now because of it #10 cavities and 4 root canals my fckn ass #ridiculously priced #hate it here #pls brush your teeth im begging you

[trailingdusk]

y'all can lando wdc 2024 this and charles wdc 2025 that, but personally my very dear goal and deep hope is that james vowles and alex albon can drag that williams to the top of the field and win a wdc & wcc sometime in the next three years.

#likely? no #but do i need an underdog to root for? yes #(haas is too depressing and i forget alfa romeo exists 90% of the time and alpha tauri is basically just red bull so here we are!) #aa23 #williams f1 #formula 1 #james vowles

[uncanny-tranny]

Small victory in body image: actually depicting myself in a game or anything like it without idealizing things I decided weren't good enough 🪩🪩

#body positivity #i decided to make a blatant self-insert character in a new game save because 1.) it's fun 2.) it's helpful 3.) cringe is good actually #this might seem small but i spent years making characters who represented myself but were the opposite of who i actually am 👍 #and while that isn't my only problem with being body pos/neutral it didn't help to obfuscate things that were ~coincidentally~ 'unsightly' #it's like. does being in a dark room CAUSE depression? no. can it make it worse? yes. that's kind of the analogy i would make #so this is a small step in actually addressing and combating the root cause of everything i was taught to despise about myself and whatnot

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Arthur and anglo saxon poetry fucks me up. We call it the Dark Ages because of a dearth of sources, but we have a melancholy poem describing the ruins of Aqua Sulis, or Bath, in the centuries after the Roman Collapse. I might make this into a fic someday, but Arthur is only a boy half-grown and roaming through the anglo-saxon heptarchy, a world he still can't quite wrap his head around, Cumbrian, a Celtic language, still first to cross his lips as he stares up at a ruined city. But more and more of what will one day be English rolling around in his mind, two languages with so few loan words there is nothing in English we can use to construct his mother tongue. Walking through a city, what was once a real and robust city and now lays dead and decaying, he wonders.

Who's bones are these broken beams? His own? Were he and Alasdair and Rhys something once called Britannia, now faded? Are they Rome's, who died thousands of miles away in a place Arthur hasn't seen for centuries? His mother's? She ruled and represented nebulous things, these borders shifting and flexing. Rome made a desert and called it peace, but she ruled it anyway, lady of the waters and the north. Maybe. He's unsure. He touches fallen tile and broken stone and knows what he knew when she drew her last. The end of a world that began failing long before. He'll never be able to sort the losses out; the words he may have once used to describe them are dead and gone by the time there are experts enough to study it. All that once made sense has been forgotten under the weight of a thousand years.

This masonry is wondrous; fates broke it courtyard pavements were smashed; the work of giants is decaying. Roofs are fallen, ruinous towers, the frosty gate with frost on cement is ravaged, chipped roofs are torn, fallen, undermined by old age. The grasp of the earth possesses the mighty builders, perished and fallen, the hard grasp of earth, until a hundred generations of people have departed. Often this wall, lichen-grey and stained with red, experienced one reign after another, remained standing under storms; the high wide gate has collapsed.

and

Far and wide the slain perished, days of pestilence came, death took all the brave men away their places of war became deserted places, the city decayed. The rebuilders perished, the armies to earth. And so these buildings grow desolate, and this red-curved roof parts from its tiles of the ceiling-vault. The ruin has fallen to the ground broken into mounds, where at one time many a warrior, joyous and ornamented with gold-bright splendour, proud and flushed with wine shone in war-trappings; looked at treasure, at silver, at precious stones, at wealth, at prosperity, at jewellery, at this bright castle of a broad kingdom.

#Britannia and her children || they made a desert and called it peace #hws england #Arthur || stone set in the silver sea #Eirian || into the nightlands #my writing || cacoethes scribendi #I can kind of read old english and it always fucks me up how theres hardly a celtic root word anywhere that's not a place name #im not depressed im analysing texts!!

[nataliescatorccio]

i just want people to know that just because your content doesn’t get many notes, doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. there is someone out there, a living breathing human being, who appreciates it, whose day it made that little bit brighter, and who admires what you do. nothing is a ‘flop’ if it made one person happy.

#i feel like i talk about this a lot #and that doesn't mean that notes aren't necessarily important #because i really do understand as a creator how depressing it is to feel like you aren't getting recognition for your work #and that comes through notes #but i think it can also be true that we fixate on notes too much #and actually getting 1000 likes means nothing if people aren't engaging with your content #and by that i mean leaving comments and reblogging to share it #it's so sad that creators feel like they can't create what they want bc it's not the tumblr fixation rn #and they don't want to put the time and energy into creating something now that simply won't get the love it deserves #but it's important to remember that there really are people out there who love what you do #and surrounding yourself with people who uplift you can be rewarding in itself #(this is mostly a reminder for me bc i'm feeling uninspired lately and i think the root of it is tumblr's current quiet spot lol)

[jeweled-blue-eyes]

Headcanon that Derrick is the son from the Duke's first wife that he married out of duty and Reynold and Ivonne are the children that the Duke had with his second wife that he married out of love. I imagine that the Duke married below his station when he chose to court Ivonne's mother shortly after the former duchess had passed away. Compared to the Duke's first wife who was a stern but elegant and dignified lady, his second wife was a lively thing who always sought new forms of dispersion and spend enormous sums of money on her wardrobe and entertainment.

#Reynold and Ivonne are like that because they were spoiled as kids #Reynold is a bit of a brat while Ivonne is spoiled sweet and out of touch with the reality #it's also where her compassion for commoners comes from that helped her form a friendly bond with the servants #and Derrick well...the root of incestuous brothers usually lies in mommy issues #his father didn't mourn his first wife long enough and Derrick felt like his stepmother was squandering his mother's inheritence #his distaste for her didn't carry over to Ivonne because her mother died in childbirth and it made her something pitiful in his eyes #he made sure she would turn out very differently from his stepmother #the death of Ivonne's mother made his father rely on him again he liked that #nonetheless his cordial dislike for those of lower classes only continued to grow #when his mother's servants clashed with his stepmother's servants #and his father was too depressed to notice there had started a power struggle inside his house #vadd #villains are destined to die #death is the only ending for a villainess #ditoeftv #derrick eckart #headcanons

[notfreetoday]

On Returning Favors in Jun & Jun

First of all @plantsarepeopletoo and @twig-tea I'm really sorry I couldn't do this in a reblog to your original post - I think there were just too many gifs and tumblr wouldn't let me post it once I started adding links - so I reblogged a link to this post instead! Second of all - apologies for just randomly jumping in all of a sudden but I think a lot of things are being read through different cultural lenses here and I thought it'd be nice to exchange perspectives. Returning favors seems to be seen as an imposed burden in OP's post, something that is demanded of an individual as opposed to an individual expressing their desire to show appreciation. Also, some of the English subs are awkward, and whilst I certainly don't speak enough Korean to give a blow-by-blow translation - I've asked friends who do and done some research for myself.

Except, the comment about not letting Jun eat made me cautious. Telling him to eat, and not skip, like Jun was prone to skipping breakfast, but we saw he was already at the convince store. It's the start of the implied ineptitude of Jun.

Asking if someone has eaten, and reminding someone to eat, to most Asians, is more of a way to show concern for each other than it is an actual, functional question. Hyun Jae is simply expressing his care for Lee Jun, not actually implying that Lee Jun doesn't know how to take care of himself. As for the comment Lee Jun makes about "previously you wouldn't even let me drink a sip of water" - this has been mentioned in some of the show's already released BTS videos/interviews where they each introduce their characters but not in specifically in the show yet so [SPOILER IN YELLOW] this is a reference to Hyun Jae previously being Lee Jun's manager when he was an idol.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Jo Chan Hyun Hyun Jae is the one who made Jun think he NEEDED to return favors. He at least is using the idea of favors to get closer to Jun. But who demands, expects, or allows close friends/brothers to return favors for things like that? That's just a "thank you"

I don't really feel as if Hyun Jae is demanding anything in return - I think Lee Jun wants to do it of his own volition. As a junior in a workplace, having a senior give you little tips, even if it's just about the type of people at the office, is often appreciated. And whilst it is considered good manners to look for a way to "repay" or "give back" or "return the favor" as a way of showing gratitude and acknowledging their effort, it is not expected, and if a senior lorded a favor over a junior then that would be considered poor behavior (unfortunately toxic workplace environments and harassment in Korea is well known). But here all Hyun Jae has done thus far is to look out for Lee Jun and make sure he settles in well, and really all Lee Jun would need to do in return is to be respectful, listen closely and do his best in his job (not putting in effort would result in a loss of face for Hyun Jae). A step further would be to treat someone to a meal as thanks or bring back some local delicacies from your hometown or after coming back from a holiday (again, we Asians like food). However, the show has established that Lee Jun feels very strongly about returning favors so that someone's kindness isn't taken for granted - so he pays a lot more attention to these things than the average person. I do, however, agree that Hyun Jae pays special attention to Lee Jun because well, he likes him.

Lee Jun is ordering the coffees just fine, honestly. Then Hyun pulls this stunt and starts rattling off orders. To impress Jun? To make Jun feel off balance?

I think this may not have come across in the English subtitles - Lee Jun makes a small mistake when ordering the drinks - he says "two ice vanilla lattes, and 5 americanos...and..." - because he forgets to indicate that the americanos are iced as well, the lady at the cashier interrupts him to confirm "iced...right?" but turns towards Hyun Jae instead. Lee Jun follows up saying "oh yes 4 iced americanos and 1 hot, and one hot chocolate latte, and lemonade...". This is the part where Hyun Jae interrupts Lee Jun and rattles off the orders in verbal shorthand instead. I don't actually see this as Hyun Jae pulling a stunt but...as someone who has made similar coffee runs for my seniors before, I will say I was sufficiently impressed hahaha It's a more efficient way of ordering and well as a newbie who will likely be making many coffee runs in the future, it's good for Lee Jun to know that (it really is quite a stressful thing and it's not easy to learn the verbal shorthand yourself). It does also show that Hyun Jae takes care of his team, because he knows these orders by heart, which means he's going himself and not sending the youngest on the team to go. And it's also a nice way to fit in the 2nd reference to the spoiler up in yellow I mentioned earlier. The rest of the conversation in the coffee shop... I don't actually think Hyun Jae is being condescending at all. Admittedly, some of the phrasings sound awkward in English - "High maintenance" for eg is not the best translation and sounds rather insulting in English - that whole sentence is probably more like "you really are new (to this) aren't you! Or hmm... maybe it's just that you're a handful?". Incidentally this is the same phrase that Choi Jun will use to describe Lee Jun later too - and in both situations, Lee Jun protests that phrase. Here, when Lee Jun says he's better with the skills one needs to function in society (not just social skills), Hyun Jae offers the praise that Lee Jun has always done well in that aspect - hence Lee Jun's shy smile and "really?". Maybe the sentence after that, where Lee Jun says "I still have many areas I'm not good in right? For now, I'll have to trouble you to keep looking out for me, even if that might be annoying for you", sounds a little too deferential in English? It's actually a really common way to talk about yourself and ask for continued guidance when you're new - it's also implied that you will make mistakes because of how new you are, and you're asking for leniency when it does happen. There are many versions of this phrase in many different languages (mostly Confucian Heritage Cultures) but it is an explicit request (and in some places, is accompanied by a gift, if more formal). Hence in response to that request Hyun Jae asks "so how will you repay me? Don't tell me... you're just saying that (without really meaning it)?". It's at this point that Lee Jun switches from addressing Hyun Jae as Hyung to his work title, Team Leader, and asks "Is there anything you might like to eat?". Again, this is really common - treating someone to a meal as a way to express thanks (yes we really like food). Hyun Jae then suggests Lee Jun treats him to a meal with his first paycheck.

This is like reaching a milestone in life. It may sound like I'm exaggerating, but it's true. This isn't about owning anyone a favor, it's about expressing gratitude to someone who has gone out of their way to help you in your life, and it feels good to be able to do it. When I first started work, my seniors and superiors paid for my meals whenever we went to eat. No amount of protesting was going to stop that - because I was "young" and "still learning". I still remember how it felt when I finally moved up in rank and my senior actually allowed me to pay for myself (but not treat), and a few years later, my (much more senior) mentor finally accepted my formal request to bring her out for dinner - because that was an acknowledgement that I had "grown up". There's a reason why Lee Jun is so enthusiastic about using his first paycheck to treat Hyun Jae - it's a recognition of Lee Jun's ability and well, of becoming someone who can contribute to society.

About the chocolate milk - no that's just Hyun Jae chasing Lee Jun hahaha Now I'm sorry for replying to 2 blog posts in one reblog but...

did Hyun Jae not just agree when Lee Jun asked if the Director was nice in ep1 (instead he caveats "you could say that")?

Here Lee Jun actually asks "So (based on what you said) it seems like the Director is a good person?" to which Hyun Jae replies "Mmm... (seems like) a good person, right?". He's not really throwing shade here, he's just agreeing with Lee Jun (and asking for Lee Jun's confirmation - you can read more about the ~지(요) sentence ending here)

Did I imagine him holding his lanyard down so that he would not have to hold the coffee cup with two hands when handing it to Choi Jun?

This is also an acceptable way to hand something to someone actually (3rd point from the bottom)

About the direction Hyun Jae is facing when he drinks - no clue actually. I thought it was weird too.

Ok so ends my sharing! Sorry it got so long. If you're interested in more discussions about social hierarchy in Confucian Heritage Cultures, I've written a small section here when I talked about Win/Team from Between Us (Korea and the Thai-Chinese community are both considered CHCs and thus the concept of the senior/junior dynamic is similar)

#jun and jun #cultural differences #confucian heritage cultures #i'm still rooting for jun/jun #i hope hyun jae doesn't get too depressed :(

[nightfayre]

if he tian ends up leaving before jian yi i will genuinely be so surprised

#19 days #jian yi is supposed to leave the second day of high school but they haven’t even graduated middle school or had summer break #you’re telling me that he tian is gonna leave sometime soon and all we’ll see is a depressed guan shan for months and months and months? #also the tone of this recent chapter is too lighthearted to think cheng will actually take he tian imo #imagine how fucking traumatizing it would be for ALL the boys to watch he tian getting restrained and dragged away from them #i have a deep rooted feeling that 1) he tian will have to make some grand ultimatum w/ cheng to buy himself more time until high school #2) he tian will not be able to have a proper goodbye with any of the group #i hope i’m wrong but i also hope i’m right for the drama of it all #fay talks

[chaaistheanswer]

im not so happy with bg3s ending especially when we don't get an epilogue for our companions so im seeking closure from fanfiction as i always do 😭 if anyone has fanfic recommendations with this particular storyline please dm me 🥺

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate #fanfic ideas #fanfic #bg3 fanfiction #please help a sister out she is desperate #if i cant write for shit then i'll draw some fanart with this idea in mind #i know its a depressing end but who doesnt like angst amirite ;) #a “good” end would work out too #its like... you're conflicted about who you want to root for #love that