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ezzydean · 3 years

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“ i could have lost you today! do you know what that would have done to me? ” - Peter & Stiles

Stiles manages to hold his tongue until they’re safely tucked away in Peter’s apartment. Away from their enemies and allies alike. Away from the world that seems so determined to take every last bit of Stiles’ happiness and chew it into mush before spitting it out to dissolve on the concrete of the abandoned strip mall parking lot that is his life, complete with weeds struggling to survive as they spring up through the cracks and crawl across the pitted concrete.

So maybe he needs to take a few deep breaths and step back from the cache of flowing words and artful descriptions his creative writing class has tucked away in his mind.

It doesn’t matter what words he uses. He’s angry and frustrated and on edge and the way Peter is looking at him like he wants to pin him down and gobble him up is not doing anything other than make him even angrier.

“That was dangerous, Peter. Dangerous and stupid and ridiculous and if I’m saying it was stupid? Me. The undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through? You know it was fucking stupid.”

“Oh please.” Peter rolls his eyes as he saunters towards his bedroom to change out of his dirty clothes. “I’m a werewolf, darling. There is very little in this world that can even leave a scratch that doesn’t heal within a few hours.”

“Yeah and one of those things is a band of pissed off hunters who have gone rogue, no longer follow a code, and are systematically taking out smaller packs one by one.” Stiles doesn’t bother to raise his voice. One: because he’s tired. Two: because he knows that Peter can hear him no matter where he is in the apartment, even if he whispered.

He throws himself on to the couch, spreading out over it so Peter will have to either move him, sit on him, or sit in the chair off to the side when he comes back. Yes he’s being a little bit petty. But he had just watched Peter throw himself into a fight with a bunch of off the rail hunters who were hellbent on destroying anything and everything supernatural that they could. It doesn’t matter that Peter managed to not get hurt this time. It doesn’t matter that Issac and Derek had swooped in with an almost eerily synchronized move to pull the attention off of Peter.

Stiles had still seen it. He had seen the blade oozing with the twisted version of wolfsbane these particular hunters had been known for. He’d seen it centimeters away from Peter’s chest before he had been grabbed by Isaac and yanked out of the way. A millisecond later and that blade would have been in Peter’s heart. He’s going to be having nightmares about Isaac being too late for weeks. About Isaac reaching out and the blade already in Peter’s chest. About Peter on the ground bleeding and gasping and fading away because this particular wolfsbane blend is made to be quick and vicious and damn near impossible to burn out of a werewolf’s system.

Stiles is good. He can do a lot of shit. And maybe, maybe, if they were mated or bonded or had claimed each other or whatever he’d be able to save Peter even on the brink of death.

But they’re not.

He appreciates being the one to warm Peter’s bed and he knows that neither of them are with anyone else. But they’re not really even with each other so it’s only a small consolation.

Peter looms over him and Stiles peels his eyes open and glares up at him. He doesn’t let his eye rake over Peter the way he wants to. Doesn’t let himself give in to these instincts to curl around Peter and protect him.

Peter doesn’t want that. Peter doesn’t want Stiles to take up that position in his life. In his bed? Sure. On his side in a fight? Definitely. By his side in life? No thank you. Peter’s made it pretty clear where Stiles stands in that regard.

He gestures for Stiles to move his legs and when Stiles refuses Peter raises his brows. “What has you in such a mood? I barely even got a scratch on me and the hunters were put in their place. Everyone wins. Except the hunters, who are dead now.”

“Barely got a scratch?” Stiles hops to his feet, rage flooding him so fast that Peter actually leans back when Stiles leans towards him. “Barely a scratch? You were, quite literally, a hairbreadth away from death, Peter. If Isaac hadn’t grabbed you when he did you wouldn’t be here now.”

“But I am. Here and unharmed.” Peter reaches out for him and Stiles bats his hands away. “It was a risk, Stiles. We all take them every time we go into a fight.”

“Not all of us take unnecessary risks, Peter. You’re the one who taught me that unnecessary risks are just that: unnecessary.” Peter crosses his arms across his chest and takes a step back from Stiles.

“Be that as it may I still don’t see what has you so upset about this whole thing. So I took an unnecessary risk. What is the big deal?”

“The big deal? The big deal is that I could have lost you today! Do you know what that would have done to me? What losing you would do to me?”

Peter stares at him for a moment, words sinking in, before he scoffs and looks off towards the windows.

“You’d survive just fine without me. I’m sure you wouldn’t even miss me for that long. There are plenty of others out there who would fall over themselves to be with you,” Peter says quietly.

“I don’t care. I don’t want any of them. I want you, Peter. I don’t care how many people out there would be willing to be with me. I didn’t choose any of them. I chose you.”

Peter’s lip curls as he lets out a growl. “Oh, please. I’m not a choice. You know it. I know it. Hell even the hunters who come to try and kill us all know that I am, at best, a convenient fuck for you.”

Stiles’ mouth is already open to snap back when the mention of hunters makes him snap it shut. The hunters had been talking amongst themselves just before Peter had leapt into the middle of them and the whole plan had gone out the window. Is that what they had been talking about? Is that what they had said?

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Peter.” He waits until Peter drags his gaze from the windows and looks at him. “You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option.”

“What?”

Well. This was either going to end in some really amazing sex and a new stage of their whatever they’ve been doing or it was going to ruin the best thing he’s ever had. But he is the undisputed king of doing stupid shit without thinking it through after all.

“You’ve been my choice since before I even knew you were an option,” he repeats. “The only reason I haven’t given in to my spark’s need to bond with you, to claim you as mine, is because you’ve never seemed to want anything more than a convenient fuck out of me.”

Peter’s eyes widen at ‘bond’ and ‘claim’ even as he winces at having the ‘convenient fuck’ part thrown back at him. He stares at Stiles and Stiles knows Peter is listening to his heartbeat and subtly scenting the air to measure the truth of Stiles’ words. Stiles learned a long time ago how to control his heartbeat and mask his scent but he had promised to never do it while the two of them were alone and fuck Peter is so blind if he can’t see all the ways Stiles bends for him where he’s steel for everyone else.

“You’ve never wanted that,” Peter finally whispers. “You’ve never—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head. “No.”

“I’ve wanted it since the day you gave me a key to your apartment and told me you trusted me with it. You. Peter Hale. Trusting me with the key to your apartment. The key to your safe—”

Well shit.

Peter was blind to how far Stiles was willing to bend for him and Stiles was blind to how much Peter had already bent by him by giving Stiles his trust.

“As much as I loathe to admit it about myself,” Peter says softly as he reaches out for Stiles. “We’re both idiots when it comes to each other, aren’t we?”

Stiles collapses into Peter’s arms with a laugh. “Yeah,” he huffs as he buries his face against Peter’s neck. “But I’m your idiot. And you’re my idiot. So I guess it works out in the end.”

“I guess it does, darling. I guess it does.”

#teen wolf #steter #stiles stilinski #peter hale #wolfy writing #steter fic #prompt #cattatonically

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maschotch · 2 years

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Your post about the big bad arcs - as well as being dragged out too long and having the unsub be way overpowered, i think a lot of the later ones were missing stakes. For as bad as it was to go with 'fridge the wife for manpain' in the Foyet arc, characters that were important to the team/audience and that we were emotionally invested in died in both the Foyet and Doyle arcs. We actually got to see some damage done in a way that really came too close to home for the team.

But then every time after that? Nobody who isn't a sideplot separate to a big bad dies (Carolyn - now that was some truly unnecessary kill a woman for manpain, and Maeve - same again and not really related to the repilcator) and of them they are all people we only just meet. We see them for a couple episodes and then they die. That's all they're there for. But when it comes to the big overarching cases? We get a couple injuries maybe but they never kill off anyone of major significance and I don't know if it's just my rewatch brain talking, but you can kinda tell (a beautiful disaster - they revealed that savannah was stable way too soon to get really tense and morgan never felt like he was truly going to die - in derek we'd just seen him beat up like 6 guys while under the effects of torture. one little guy hurting him after that did not seem as likely)

To their credit (:/) they did try to up the stakes with strauss (a character you weren't as sympathetic for as they'd only just stopped trying to make her the bad guy and bc they picked rossi of all people to try and help humanise her w a relationship?? But also manpain fridging again :/) and at the backend of the mr scratch arc with stephen walker, but there they still went with the newest guy you were probably least attached to as opposed to a higher stakes option (I'd've quite liked them to have killed Rossi there tbh)

((Sorry if this was semi incoherent, I woke up saw the post wrote this and will now go back to sleep. Also tl;dr: as well as being dragged out and not formulated as well and ott, they didn't recapture the same stakes in later seasons as letting you think - even briefly - that Prentiss had died from being staked))

yeah unfortunately plot armor for most long-running network programs is pretty thick akjshdg. honestly id argue that the only reason we felt like there were stakes for the doyle arc (bc i mean come on were they really about to kill emily prentiss ajdshlg) was because of what happened in the foyet arc. that being said?? even then it felt very?? watered down? like they definitely couldve, shouldve done more with it. i still feel like it shouldve been a more brutal, drawn out death just considering foyet's mo. but they didnt bc she was still a prominent side character.

scratch nearly got there with walker. like if they wanted to kill him, fine, but did they have to do it the most boring way possible? how many times has hotch been in a car accident? how come literally everyone was pretty much perfectly fine and capable of walking the next day but ONE GUY got super fucked up? it felt cheap. like they were just trying to get rid of him. idk what the deal was with the actor, but idk it just felt really disrespectful to the character to not even have him be on a full season and have him be the first team member to die. especially since absolutely no one seemed to care that he died other than penelope and emily for like two minutes. a bau team member died. this should've been excruciating for them. but they just kept on like it was nothing bc :) spencer's back and thats all that matters. we call that #racism in media

i feel like reid's prison arc should've felt like it had stakes? like by all means it should have and i guess they did a pretty good job making it seem like this was tough for him. but it was such a shitty idea for a plot and we all knew nothing was really gonna happen, so there was no reason to really care. maybe if i was a #reidgirl i would've cared more but i literally didnt give a shit about him or that arc

even with stuff like injuries... people can get hurt as much as they want and its fine bc two episodes from now they'll be completely 100% okay and ablebodied. except that one time reid got shot in the leg bc the actor needed crutches for like ten episodes. like.. how many characters have gotten shot in the torso and been completely fine? elle... penelope.... jj..... emily got staked with like a big ass piece of wood.... morgan was fucking crucified and had acid poured over his chest or something..... oh yeah hotch was stabbed like seven times.... but its fine they're okay they can run around just fine after all that. i get its a tv show or whatever but it wouldve been nice to see some repercussions from injuries. we never even see hotch take the meds we know he has to take bc its how they caught foyet. we call that #ableism in media

#im always incoherent pls dont worry ab it #asks #endgame spoilers #just... angers me akjshlgadkj

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96thdayofrage · 3 years

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Yesterday (March 3) marked 30 years since the infamous beating of Rodney King by the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) was caught on film for the world to see. Decades before cell phone footage would capture the horrific slaughter of Black Americans such as Philando Castile, Eric Garner, George Floyd and Alton Sterling, a grainy camcorder clip of four LAPD officers hammering King 56 times with batons and kicking him repeatedly, reopened old wounds in a nation that figured itself healed from racially-motivated police violence that seemed to be it at its maximum amid the Civil Rights era.

The following year the four officers who were filmed beating King were acquitted of all criminal charges, sparking the Los Angeles riots of 1992. Black citizens of Los Angeles took out decades of frustration of being over and aggressively policed and racially profiled in a stretch of days that resulted in numerous businesses being vandalized and decimated, and the kind of chaos that ensues when a people’s cries for justice are ignored.

Excessive police violence against Black communities did not dwindle in the decades that separated the beating of Rodney King from the emergence of the movement for Black lives. An evolution in technology would ultimately allow citizens to capture the violence in surround sound and high definition. We have held a bird’s eye view of state-sanctioned executions literally in the palm of our hands.

Over the past three decades, our community would learn a great deal about how the legal system would find loopholes for these incidents of violence, and be re-introduced to the power of our advocacy. The following are but a few examples of things we have come to know in our fight against police brutality, 30 years after one of the most publicized examples in American history.

Qualified immunity: The phrase “qualified immunity” has been introduced into the vocabulary of social justice advocates over the past several years, as it has been a legal statute that many have fought to eliminate. Qualified immunity protects a government official from lawsuits alleging that the official violated a plaintiff's rights, only allowing suits where officials violated a “clearly established” statutory or constitutional right. The slippery slope for prosecutors in these civil cases is the burden of proof that an officer did indeed violate a victim’s constitutional right. In more instances than not, criminal charges brought against police that kill Black people do not stick, so the families of the (often) deceased only hope of any semblance of justice comes in the form of civil suits.

This is why there’s a consistent push by activists and civil rights attorneys to end qualified immunity. The protection it provides essentially strips grieving families of any chance of seeing the killer of their loved one being held accountable for their actions.

The use of “Reasonable Fear’ as defense: Two landmark Supreme Court decisions, Tennessee v. Garner and Graham v. Connor. established the legal precedent that police officers could lawfully use deadly force if they deemed the situation they encountered to be a ‘reasonable’ threat. This defense has been utilized in some of the most high-profile cases of police violence, as it reinforces the stereotype of Black folk as uncontrollable lawless savages. Whether it was a Black motorist heading home, a Black child playing in a park or a Black son returning from a dentist appointment, the argument of the threatening Black human has been used by individual officers and police unions to justify acts of violence. The LAPD officers involved in the beating of Rodney King used his intoxication and alleged aggressive resistance as their rationale for beating him mercilessly.

In the following decades, defense attorneys for American police have consistently played on a “Birth of a Nation”-inspired fear about unhinged Blackness, specifically as it relates to Black male victims of police violence.

Implicit Bias Training: As conversations around police violence have permeated the national dialogue for the better part of a decade, the concept of officers receiving implicit bias training has been presented as a measure to help curve violent interactions with unarmed Black citizens. Implicit bias describes the automatic association people make between groups of people and stereotypes about those groups and many of these unfair associations have led to police officers discharging their weapons or instituting violent chokeholds that have claimed Black lives.

If we consider the example of George Floyd and Derek Chauvin as a case study in implicit bias, we can completely recognize where this kind of training could potentially be of benefit to the communities served by hyper-aggressive officers. When Chauvin and his fellow Minneapolis officers apprehended George Floyd for allegedly using counterfeit money at a convenience store, the aggression they approached him with was directly connected to their assumption of who he was. They saw a very tall, muscular dark brown Black man wearing a tank top that had just been accused of a crime, and in their minds, he fit the description of a far more nefarious criminal than his alleged crime would suggest.

We cannot say with absolute certainty that implicit bias training would have prevented Derek Chauvin’s predatory hunt and kill of George Floyd as he had a previous history of violence, but what we know is that many police departments around the nation often shirk the very idea of implicit bias training because to incorporate these trainings is to some degree an admission of a need for improvement. And murdering unarmed Black Americans does not constitute a need for improvement.

Turning Protest into Policy: After several months of national (and global) outcry behind the shooting death of Breonna Taylor by Louisville Metro Police, activists in Louisville transformed their pain and protest into legislation. Breonna’s Law was passed by the Louisville metro council three months after she was murdered. The law, which bans no-knock search warrants, was a direct response to the manner Breonna was killed and the byproduct of a community that had endured multiple incidents of the LMPD executing similar invasions that endangered more than just alleged suspects.

The passage of Breonna’s Law was monumental in the movement for Black lives as it debunked the idea that all advocates were good for was chanting, marching and blocking intersections. The law provided a direct correlation between an act of police violence and the advocacy of a community that sought to hold law enforcement responsible for an unnecessary murder. Among other things, the ordinance regulated how search warrants were to be carried out in the future and mandated the use of body cameras during searches.

30 years ago as parts of Los Angeles would eventually go up in flames, Black residents were saddled with angst, grief and an almost impossible resolve to combatting the systemic violence they faced. What the past three decades have taught us all is that the fight against state-sanctioned violence is ongoing, but as we continue to become more versed in the mechanisms that provide cover for unlawful police violence, we can transform our pain into power and utilize every tool at our disposal to topple oppressive regimes.

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freddieslater · 3 years

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10 Favourite Female Characters From 10 Different Fandoms

(List your 10 favorite female characters from 10 fandoms, then tag 10 people)

Thank you so much for the tag @a-lil-bi-furious !! ❤️

1. Malia Tate from Teen Wolf

Starting off strong — literally, she has the strength of, like, a bear and the temper of one! My angry girl!! I just loved her from the very first second we were introduced to her after turning back. She went through so much, and it clearly had a big impact on her, and we got to see her grow through most of it (but not all of it because the writers suck a bit) and work to become a pack member instead of the lone coyote she had gotten used to being. Also, she insanely pretty and cute so she’s allowed to growl at people every so often!

2. Liv Parker from The Vampire Diaries

My angry and extra sassy girl — witch edition! There’s just something about her that I love. I really understand Tyler; she could insult me and blast me across a room with magic and I would fall in love with her. But we know that a lot of her mean-girl attitude comes from her family issues, and it’s more of a defense mechanism than anything. So, it was nice to see a softer side of her around both Luke and Tyler — and Jo, on occasion. She knew she was the “weaker” twin and as much as the thought of dying scared her, she still stood strong and tried to find a way to save Luke from having to live with that guilt by finding another way — just as she saved Tyler from triggering his curse by killing someone (who was already dying because of him) for him. And then in the end, knowing she was going to die anyway, she saved him again. She deserved a way better ending and more of a chance to grow since we definitely were not done with her story, so I will be forever bitter but I love and appreciate the time we had her for!

3. Hope Mikaelson from Legacies

Is it cheating if they’re from the same universe but not the same show? I just love this little Tribrid so much. She’s gone through a lot her entire life — literally, she had people trying to kill her before she was even born. She lost her mum, and then her dad, and her uncle. Not to mention the, uh, killing a bunch of people in between and also finding out your first boyfriend helped kidnapped your mum in a plot to kill her and you (that he didn’t know about, given, but still). And having virtually no friends at school. But she still tried to be so strong all the time, to a point where she really should let more people in it and see that soft, vulnerable part that’s still in there. Her anger is justified, and sometimes out of her control due to her family, and I wish they’d let her get real help for it. She shouldn’t have to be the “hero” or the “saviour” all the time and I wish they would just cut her a break, let her rest, and have a moment of happiness that doesn’t end with her feeling like she didn’t deserve it.

4. Wanda Maximoff from MCU

(First of all, you don’t know how painful it was having to wade through a bunch of Pietro gifs in the process of finding this one.) The version of Wanda in the MCU is very... complex. Obviously there’s a lot of issues With the character, but if I’m focusing solely on who she is in the MCU, then I love her so much. And she definitely has some issues in her life. She starts off as the bad guy, angry and seeking “justice” (and revenge) for what happened to her parents, and in the same movie, we see her realize that the side she was working for wasn’t any better. We see her character develop quite a bit in just her first movie, and then over the course of the next ones, we see more sides to her; her guilt over hurting innocent people through a quickly-made decision, her compassion for Vision and for those other people, her grief over losing Pietro and Vision. And she herself is so powerful! She tries to live with the pain she’s endured but it takes over without her control, because both her grief and her magic are all-consuming. And I add this because I still refuse WandaVision’s change to the timeline: she went through all of this before she was eighteen. She’s so young, and in pain, but she still tries so hard to push through because other people need her, and she doesn’t want them to suffer like she has. Also, I just think it’s pretty when she does those little hand movements to possess people and her eyes turn red.

5. Nymphadora Tonks from Harry Potter

She deserved the absolute world. Her death was unnecessary, and I hate it, because she should have gotten to live the rest of her life raising her son, happy with her husband, and just generally being alive. She was so full of life and joy, and she tried to be the source of those things in the middle of a literal war when everyone was at their lowest and felt hopeless or angry. Also would’ve loved more scenes of her and her favourite cousin, Sirius, because they would be chaotic and they both deserved that. ALSO also, she’s very pretty, can change her appearance and chose to have pink/purple hair and dresses like how tiny me wanted to dress, so I immediately fell in love, of course.

6. Kara Danvers from Supergirl

She’s just so kind and compassionate despite everything the world has put her through — but she’s also angry deep down, and she’s hurt and in pain, and some of my favourite moments of hers are when she’s allowed to express that. When she’s allowed to really just lose it and lash out at the people who hurt her because she pushes it down for so long so that she can help everyone else that it finally just explodes.

7. Jody Jackson from The Dumping Ground

TW: mentions of different forms of child abuse. This girl deserves the whole world but I promise you that the world does not deserve her. The same can be said for pretty much all of the characters in The Dumping Ground, to be honest, but god she has just been through so much. Neglected by her mum from a very young age, abused physically and verbally by her and (presumably) both of her brothers, and it’s implied she’s abused sexually by one of her brothers as well. Of course when we first meet her she is angry and terrified. She still is because the trauma developed and was never fully dealt with, so she still carries it all around in her mouth and fists, until one little thing happens to make her lash out. And she knows she has a problem — she is terrified of becoming her brother, and sometimes her mum, and all she wants is to not hurt the people she loves. Because she loves so much, it’s just hard for her to know how to show it sometimes because sometimes all she can remember is how her family “loved” her. But she’s grown so much since she went into care and she’s getting help at last, and I just have so much hope for her happiness in the next series to come.

8. Annie Marks from Good Girls

She’s short, fiesty, will make jokes at the worst possible time, won’t stop calling a literal gang leader who has threatened her life on more than one occasion “gang friend”, was incredibly supportive and accepting of her son when he came out as trans, will punch someone when necessary (probably also when not), has a semi-friendly co-parenting thing going on with her ex, and is just all around adorably ridiculous.

9. Casey McDonald from Life With Derek

Ignoring Derek in the gif — Casey usually does, too. Casey is a perfectionist, and frankly, sometimes quite annoying about it and some other things, and yes, she definitey initiates a lot of the arguments between her and Derek. And that is why I love her. She is in no way perfect, and her striving to be comes from anxiety and insecurities that are partially the result of the instability in her life. I love how, no matter how much she may despise Derek, when there’s a real problem, she tries to help. She cares about the people in her life, and I can’t wait for her to return to as a mum of four!

10. Ashley Garcia from The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia

Someone give the world TO her, please?? It’s a shame this fandom is so small because she deserves so much love and appreciation. She’s a literal genius but lacks... a lot of social skills at the start of the show. But she learns from her friends, and gets to experience new things, including having a crush for the time (and the second!) and she’s just generally living life as a fairly normal teenager. While still being an absolute genius. I just love this smiley little dork so much!

Tagging: @pad-foots @donnas-troia @childofsquidward @multifandomlover121 @superarrowverse @dance-is-life27 to participate if you want to, but as always, no pressure! And anyone who wants to do this but wasn’t tagged — you have been now! Go do it!

#tag games #favourite characters <3

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chocoholicannanymous · 3 years

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...As Stupid Does (Teen Wolf) 19/19

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything – except for a red hoodie...

This is the final part of this story, and this ‘verse. A bit bittersweet, but honestly? So much relief too. Because as much as I never wanted to abandon this story I was worried that I’d never pull together the focus and energy to connect scattered paragraphs and thoughts into a complete ending.

Here it is though. I hope those of you reading this enjoy it.

Part 18, Part 17, Part 16, Part 15, Part 14, Part 13, Part 12, Part 11, Part 10, Interlude, Part 9, Part 8d, Part 8c, Part 8b, Part 8a, Part 7, Part 6, Part 5,Part 4,Part 3, Part 2, Part 1,Not Stupid, Stupid Is… and pre-verse ficlet I’m Stupid (Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me)…

Epilogue

Here's the thing: Stiles is a lucky guy. He's smart enough to realize exactly how lucky.

He's three years through a four year college degree, with a job waiting for him after graduation. His relationship with his dad is stronger than ever. He's got a home also waiting for him, one that's surrounded by two packs full of 'wolves.

He's also got Derek.

And the thing is, he and Derek? They're good together. Like really, really, almost disgustingly good. They weren't back in Beacon Hills. They kind of weren't when they decided to try again, for real this time.

They had spent their first year together fucking up, and god, the amount of times Stiles had questioned not just his sanity in doing this but also his intelligence. But during that year they also started working together, begun healing old hurts and smoothing down their rough edges, and found a way to fit together.

Once that year was over they'd sat down and talked things through.

Okay, they'd screamed some too, and once Stiles had even walked out. But the important thing is that he'd done so in a mature way. He'd told Derek that he was walking out, why he was doing so and that he was coming back once he'd cooled off. And then he'd kept his word.

And they'd done it on their own. No prompting, no mediating, no one coming in to send them to separate corners or patch them up. Stiles is still hella proud of that.

It's been three years now, and as far as Stiles is concerned he's got an amazing boyfriend that he fully expects to spend the rest of his life with.

If anyone had told him this years ago, when Scott had just been bitten and they were scrambling to keep their heads above water – at one point literally – Stiles would not have believed it. At one point he'd have taken violently offense, even without being told said boyfriend would be Derek.

Things have changed. He has changed. Derek has changed. But most importantly? They've changed together.

These days Derek has enough of a handle on himself to not need magic or therapy to make it through a visit. He's still seeing Dr Bianchi occasionally, as is Stiles, but they're both down to a handful of times per year.

And it's not just when it comes to the two of them that Derek has improved. Stiles gets regular reports from Scott, and it's obvious that Derek's a good Alpha these days. Sure, he will only stay an Alpha for a little while longer before handing it over to Cora, but that doesn't diminish his accomplishment. Everyone in a pack benefits from a good, steady Alpha.

Just like Cora benefits from a brother who is all these things.

Yeah, life is good.

The only dark cloud on Stiles's horizon is that he's going to have to go back to Beacon Hills.

Returning to Beacon Hills is, yeah okay, it's not the last thing Stiles wants to do. Reliving the Alpha pack, the kanima, Kate, Allison, Gerard, Peter (though that one's a firm “against” on returning too), reliving his mother's death, living through his dad's death, killing someone, almost killing someone, losing his pack, losing Embry... There are a lot of thing that Stiles wants even less.

But returning to Beacon Hills, even for a weekend, does come very low on the list. Distance has not made Stiles' heart fonder. Returning sadly isn't exactly optional.

Sure, no one's forcing him, but that doesn't mean staying away is an alternative. Not this time. Because Scott is getting married. Scott, who's still only 21 for another couple of weeks, and who used to think that werewolves were the worst (or second worst depending on how angry he was with Derek that day), who believed that he didn't need an Alpha and that Allison had hung the moon, is getting married to a werewolf, one that's not only Derek's sister, but also his soon-to-be Alpha.

And of course said wedding has to take place in Beacon Hills.

Now, Stiles has done his best to talk Scott into eloping, has tried since Scott called him with the news that Cora had said yes, but. Apparently Scott can't see the brilliance in eloping, not even with Stiles's excellent arguments.

“You, me, your mom, abuela Delgado, Derek and Cora. Just the family. No douche pack.”

“What about Peter?”

Seriously? The last thing Stiles had expected to need to justify is why leaving Peter out of, well, everything is a good idea.

“No uncle psycho either. He doesn't qualify as family.”

There's a sound that Stiles knows from years of being Scott's friend means he's nodding in agreement.

“Okay, true. What about dad though?”

“Oh, you know, I figured he'd be my plus one.” That came out flippantly, because he knows there's no way Scott wouldn't invite his dad regardless.

“No, Stiles, what about my dad?”

“He doesn't qualify as family either.”

The words come out before Stiles can filter himself, and he kind of wishes he could take them back, except...

“Look, can I be brutal here? I mean, we both know I'm going to be honest so... When's the last time you saw agent McCall?”

“There was a thing junior year, he came here to investigate.”

Not what he was asking, but a very telling answer.

“Okay, and when's the last time you saw him in his capacity as your dad? Hell, when's the last time you spoke to him? Does he even know about Cora?”

Scott evades the questions, which again: telling.

“He's my dad though, doesn't that kind of mean I have to invite him?”

Stiles snorts. As if.

“I don't see why. Sure, he's 50 % of your genepool, but is he really your dad? I mean, I can't remember the last time he and you shared anything other than your last name, and we both know that's not going to be true for much longer.”

“Yeah, okay, you have a point. He's not getting an invite. That doesn't mean we're eloping though, Stiles. Cora deserves a proper wedding, and I'm going to give her that. Now, you convince her that eloping's a good idea and we can talk about it again, but I'm not risking making her mad at me just because you don't want to subject yourself to Isaac. At least Jackson won't be invited?”

“Small favors, man. Small favors.”

There's another one of Scott's agreement noises before the conversation had moved on.

Of course, Cora had been an even tougher nut to crack than Scott, and Stiles had retreated ungracefully once she'd started threatening his balls.

Really, there was no need to go there. If for no other reason, well, shouldn't she leave the goods intact for Derek's sake?

Of course, Stiles can understand why she's unwilling to let go of the only Hale tradition she still can have, namely getting married in the preserve and in the presence of pack. Every Hale has done so for over 200 years, before they were even called Hale.

(Stiles listens to Derek explain, haltingly, and decides to admit defeat. At least Derek's willing to bypass that tradition, should they one day decide to marry. He'll take that win and stop pestering Cora.)

So, anyway. There's no talking the lovely couple into eloping. Which means like it or not – and trust him, it's not – Stiles is going back. Because it's Scott.

There's also the fact that in a strange way Stiles has waited for this wedding as long as Scott has. When he and Derek had gotten back together the plan had been for Cora to graduate, then take over the Alpha spark and the pack. Two years had felt long, but doable.

And then Cora had asked for more time.

She'd gone straight from school to working at the Beacon Hills sheriff's department and had felt she needed to adjust a little better to that before taking on something new. It'd been reasonable, and more importantly: Derek had been almost unable to deny his sister anything after getting her back from the dead (except you know, figuratively speaking, unlike a certain other family member).

So they'd talked it over and agreed to give Cora another year, moving the transfer to after the wedding. It makes, Stiles thinks, for one hell of a wedding present. If that's good or bad, eh. Who knows.

He'd taken on more classes in order to have a distraction, had worked himself to the point of exhaustion more than once, and nearly driven the people around him crazy. It'd been more than a little overkill, he admits now, but it had kept him from missing Derek too much. It also means he'll be able to slow down a little his final year.

Or take on whatever shiny but totally unnecessary new class catches his eye, probably, but. He pretends he'll take it easy. Derek pretends to believe him. Derek's also made it clear he's going to move to Seattle once he can leave Beacon Hills, and stay there as long as Stiles does. They both pretend it's not partially to keep Stiles from studying himself into the hospital.

Anyway. He's just, you know, going to have to count small favors. The first one being that Jackson really isn't invited. The second is that Lydia, who was, isn't coming either. Once Stiles had gotten over his crush on her he'd kept a measure of fond respect for the person he'd learned existed behind Lydia's facades, even though they'd never really become friends. That didn't change the fact that her not coming was a relief – she's too smart, sees too much, and he would hate for her to figure things out.

Another person not coming is Danny who's transferred his allegiance to the pack near his college where he's, completely coincidentally Stiles is sure, dating the Alpha's grandson. He'd been invited as a courtesy, but told he couldn't bring his boyfriend, and had wisely chosen not to accept. Cora hates him, and he apparently knows it, and Scott isn't to fond of him either.

Those really are small favors though.

A slightly bigger one is the fact that Deaton isn't coming. Not only does he no longer live in Beacon Hills, but he hasn't been invited. While no one had been able to prove that there had been magic on Scott, his opinions on both Derek and Deaton had changed a little too much for comfort after first moving away and then beginning to meditate. Even Scott had noticed, and gotten suspicious.

In the end there had been no protests from Scott as Derek and Cora had ended Deaton's lease of the land for his practice – land he had been granted use of as the Hale pack's emissary and then had kept using free of charge since the fire, knowing he wasn't keeping to the agreement. Once he'd been called on it, Deaton had packed up, sold his home, and moved away.

No one misses him – not even Scott.

However none of that changes the fact that Beacon Hills still has Peter Hale, who is most certainly both invited to the wedding and attending, and who Stiles still sees as a threat. Because, well, he's not stupid.

Peter Hale will stop being a threat the day he dies, and maybe not even then. (Next time, Stiles has promised himself, he's going to make sure Peter gets the Aiden treatment.)

And Stiles is going to willingly place himself within striking distance from said threat, without a protector on hand.

He hadn't even thought about it at first, just assuming he'd have Embry to keep him safe, but it hadn't taken long to realize that bringing Embry to Scott's wedding wasn't an option.

First of all there's the fact that while neither Derek or Cora can feel the supernatural in the LaPush 'wolves unless they're shifting Peter might. Peter, who's not only older and has had the kind of training Derek never got but who also has access to a lot of the Hale pack's lore which Derek had thought lost in the fire. Stiles isn't willing to take a chance on that knowledge not containing something to help Peter identify the LaPush shifters. (This is, incidentally, one of the reasons Stiles is happy Deaton is gone. He too knows too much for Stiles to trust he wouldn't be able identify another kind of shifter.)

Second there's the fact that every single pack member is visibly Native American, and there are only so many tribes. Peter – or Danny for that matter, even though he's not going to be present, but he's more of an annoyance – could locate Stiles far too easily easily with that kind of information.

There's also the fact that Embry would be on a hair trigger simply because Stiles will be, and might shift and expose them.

Most importantly though is that bringing what would look like a plus one to Cora's wedding would be an insult. Not just to her, who's only just gotten to the point where she accepts that Stiles is in her brother's life for good, but also to Derek. Yes, everyone who matters knows that Embry's relationship with Stiles is as platonic as can be, but that doesn't change anything. They smell enough like each other for wolfy noses to know they're not casual acquaintances, and chances are there would be quite a bit of ribbing and speculation. Derek shouldn't have to listen to that, or for that matter look at Stiles walking around with another man when he himself has to hide what they are to each other. Desire for protection or not, Stiles just isn't willing to do that to Derek.

It's possible that Embry could have skated by as the son of John Stilinski's fiancée – and wow, Stiles still hasn't gotten used to referring to Tiffany Call that way (and damn, does that make him glad that he and Embry are platonic, because that's a little to incestuous even as is). Scott would have been okay with both of them coming, had even brought it up, but everyone involved is aware that it'd make Melissa feel uncomfortable. Regardless, Tiffany's not coming either. Like with Embry there's no way of hiding that she's native, making her too easily identifiable. There's also the fact that it just isn't safe.

Tiffany is many things, and a stronger woman than most, but she's not a fighter. If things go wrong she would be vulnerable, and a liability.

Bringing someone other than Embry means the same risk of discovery.

So instead of a werewolf bodyguard or ten Stiles has his dad.

Yeah.

There's also the fact that in the interest of keeping secrets Stiles can't even use the silver lining of more time with Derek. Letting anyone from that pack know of their connection is bad, but the thought of letting Peter know makes Stiles's blood run cold. That means he's going to be within minutes of his boyfriend for days, and yet he's not going to get hugs, or kisses, or a bedpartner. He's going to be at a wedding along with his romantic partner, while pretending he's single.

Yeah.

It's going to suck.

O--o---o--O

The wedding is missing a lot of traditional parts. It's understandable, really, and not just because both bride and groom along with several guests are werewolves. It's just... Cora doesn't have a father to give her away, or dance with her. She doesn't have a mother to support her, an inherited dress or heirloom jewelry. She doesn't have a best friend to be her maid of honor. What she's got is a brother whose Alpha she'll be within days and an uncle that she doesn't trust as far as she can throw him. Or well, as far as Stiles could throw him.

So they adjust.

No one gives Cora away. Instead she and Scott walk up the isle – isle, forest path, same thing – together. Neither of them have attendants, and Melissa McCall's wedding dress stays in its garment bag.

The wedding is small and intimate, with only a handful of guests outside of the pack – Stiles, John, Melissa, abuela Delgado and two 'wolves from Cora's South American pack. It takes place in a glade just on the edge of the preserve and the only decorations are wild flowers and boughs of leaves.

It's scaled-down, but also beautiful in its simplicity, because no one can doubt that these are two people who love each other deeply.

Stiles has to blink away tears at more than one time. His friend, his brother, is promising to love, cherish and honor his girl, and is being promised the same in return. There's not a doubt in Stiles's mind that when they swear to do so until death do them part they mean it. This, he knows, is Scott's life now. It's the life and future he deserves. It's enough to make Stiles's heart swell with love.

And then it hits him. With a little luck that'll be him in a not too distant future. He has to look away not to betray himself by staring lovingly at Derek.

Stiles walks through the door to the cabin he's sharing with his dad. He's tired, both because of emotion and vigilance. His dad's still back at the wedding, catching up with Melissa, but Stiles doesn't have the energy. He's spent the day keeping one eye on the pack, and Peter in particular, and generally hating that he's back in Beacon Hills while loving that he's able to be here for Scott.

It's been exhausting.

Just about everyone else is still celebrating, but once Scott and Cora had left to change clothes and go on their honeymoon Stiles had left too. Pretending that he doesn't want to kill Peter, or kiss Derek, has taken it out of him and he can't do it any longer. He's going back home tomorrow and he can't spend another minute being that close to Derek without being able to be with him. That it'll be at least a month, probably two or more, before he can see Derek again is making it even harder.

As far as everyone but him and Derek knows Scott and Cora are going on an actual honeymoon, for a whole month. The truth is that they'll be gone for a week before sneaking back. The rest of the time will be spent in recovery and training after Derek transfers the Alpha spark. Cora will come back as the new Hale Alpha, but that doesn't mean Derek will be free to leave.

There will be unrest in a pack with a new Alpha, even under the best of circumstances, and these – as so often for them – are not. Cora will need Derek by her side, to support her and calm the pack. Maybe she'll also need him to help take down threats thinking to take advantage of a novice Alpha. Maybe they'll have to deal with Peter...

It'll be a little while yet before Derek will be free of Beacon Hills.

So Stiles is sad, and he's got a headache and he just wants to take some pills, text Embry some and then sleep.

After he's re-ringed the cabin with mountain ash of course.

Stiles pulls his phone out of its pocket, takes off his jacket and goes to throw it at the chair before thinking twice. It's a decent suit jacket and if he treats it right he won't need to go suit shopping again in years. Coat hanger it is.

He turn towards the clothes rack, his brain three steps ahead, and hits a wall, his phone clattering to the floor.

Only there's no wall there.

He scrambles backwards, trying to put as much space as he can between himself and the threat and swears. The door is out of reach and he's trapped.

“Hello Stiles.”

Fuck.

“Peter.”

He flicks through scenarios in his head, trying to figure out how to get out of this, but he keeps running into mental walls.

Stiles is a lot better trained than when he left Beacon Hills, in ways Peter knows nothing about. Under the right circumstances he might have a chance.

These are not.

He's in close quarters with Peter, unable to reach the door before the 'wolf can get to him. He's mostly unarmed due to being dressed for a wedding, and what he does have isn't as easily accessible as he'd like.

Plus it's Peter.

Stiles is going to assume that everything he thinks he knows about Peter's skills and strength is wrong. To do anything else would be to sign his own death warrant. Derek might be clouded by memories of “uncle Peter”, but Stiles has never forgotten the psychopathic killer he'd first encountered.

No, training or no training, Stiles's one real advantage is having a pack, and what being part of it means. Unfortunately he has no idea if it'll be enough.

“Shouldn't you be with the pack, or, I don't know, in your own home? Not breaking and entering somewhere you're definitely not welcome.”

“Oh, but it's not breaking and entering if you have a key.” Which, fuck, did Peter kill someone to get his hands on a backup key? “Besides, I didn't get a chance to talk to you earlier. It's been so long, Stiles, won't you humor me? We're practically old friends, are we not? It'll be like old times.”

“You're crazy.”

“Now now Stiles. That's not very nice of you.”

Stiles snorts, because nice? Not really in his wheelhouse.

“You think I care? When it comes to you? Come now, I said crazy, not stupid.”

Because unfortunately Peter is anything but, making him even more dangerous. Still, the wolf just smirks a little at Stiles's defiance.

“I'm afraid that answer just isn't acceptable. See, I really do need to talk to you. Or well, I need you. I'd like it if you talked to me, but I'll manage either way. You however... You really would do well to humor me.”

Then Peter looks at him, and oh shit. His eyes are flashing back and forth between the electric blue that had looked so good on Derek and a sickly red.

It takes nothing to figure it out.

Peter had called him the clever one, and meant it in a mocking way. But the reality is that Stiles is clever, and knows how to put puzzle pieces together.

And these particular puzzle pieces... Peter came back to life using not only Lydia but also Derek – had drained Derek of life and strength and power, and had tried to steal the Alpha power too.

And afterwards Derek had changed. Had grown more volatile, more likely to hurt someone – more unstable.

Stiles is willing to bet Peter had had a bit more success than they'd realized, that he'd managed to siphon off some of the Alpha power and keep it.

That would explain why Derek had acted the way he had. Why he'd been so easily influenced by the pack's negativity. Why Derek had sometimes acted more like Peter than like himself.

It would definitely explain how the Alpha power had become this unstable, negative force in Derek that he felt was fighting him. He is sharing it with Peter. And apparently Peter is done sharing. Stiles is uncomfortably aware of exactly how little defense he has to put up in regards to a Peter who is no longer hiding his power, who is no longer playing weak and damaged.

The only reason he's still alive is so Peter can use him against Derek.

Because even holding a part of the Hale Alpha spark Peter isn't going to just challenge Derek for the rest of it, or meet him in a fair fight. It's not how he works. Peter doesn't believe in fair, and wants the odds as weighted in his favor as possible. Using Stiles as bait, or whatever, is a way of doing that. There's also the fact that Derek has been getting stronger and better as an Alpha, leaving Peter needing every advantage he could. Even an ambush might not give him the upper hand.

Well, Stiles is going to do what he can to even out the odds a bit.

It helps that he has no reason to believe Peter will let him go after killing Derek. He'll either be dead too, or bitten without concern for his wishes, and forced to obey Peter. His dad will probably be used against him – or, again, killed outright.

Not fighting won't save him – it'll only make it easier for Peter.

“You kept some of the Alpha spark after using Derek to come back to life.”

“Ah. You really are clever. Too bad you've always wasted that cleverness on my failure of a beta and my useless nephew. Yes, I kept some. It should have been mine altogether, but something went wrong.

“Doesn't matter though, because I'm getting it back. I'm getting it all back tonight.”

Stiles stiffens. That sounds really not good.

“I was willing to be patient. To wait for it. Derek isn't made to be Alpha, and I've always known that sooner or later he'd get himself killed, especially the way kept attracting hunters. I could wait. After all, I had enough power to get through most. Especially after getting a little boost.”

That's what happened to miss Blake, Stiles thinks. He doesn't say anything though. It's not time to upset the balance. Not yet.

“It was possible one of the others would have had enough and killed him, but chances were the Alpha spark would have gone to me either way. If not,” Peter shrugs, “a new Alpha, who doesn't know how to deal with the change in their senses? Easy to kill.”

Stiles can see it happen just like that too, unfortunately.

“Everything was going according to plan too, with Derek growing more and more unstable. Given a little more time I might even have been able to talk him into giving up the spark voluntarily.” Like hell he would have. “And then my dear, dear niece came back to life.”

There's something in Peter's voice with couple with the moue he makes that gives Stiles another flash of insight.

“You resent Cora for being alive. You resent her for surviving the fire.”

Peter almost slips into a roar.

“She abandoned me!”

“She was a child! I know you were trained to hide from hunters, to go to ground and stay there until the threat was over. Are you blaming her for doing what she's been told?”

“You go to ground, yes. And then you come back. You don't abandon your pack.”

And wow, hearing that shit from the wolf who killed one niece, tried to kill a nephew, and had just explained how he had been waiting to try again... Yeah, Peter Hale is a hypocrite on top of being fucking insane.

“She abandoned us, and then when she comes crawling back,” which, totally not how it had actually happened, “that useless weakling wants to reward her for it by passing the Alpha spark to her. And they expect me to just take it?”

Fuck. The biggest flaw in the plan had always been the risk of Peter finding out and getting mad. There are contingency plans, sure, but none of them counted for quite this.

“I should have been Alpha after Talia. Laura was just as weak, just as unsuitable, as Derek. She didn't have it in her to take vengeance for our family – she just ran. It should have been me. It would have been me, had I not been burnt so badly.”

Peter's eyes are flickering between red and blue again, but the light in them has nothing to do with the 'wolf. It's insanity, and Stiles makes a quick judgment call.

He's never going to be able to outfight Peter. What he needs is to keep him of guard, while hoping for help to reach him. And as dangerous as it might be, the best way is to go after Peter's ego.

He's calm and collected in a way he rarely is as his brain starts listing sore points to hit.

He starts off by laughing, startling Peter out of his self-righteous rant.

“I might have to take back what I said about you not being stupid. You really think you should have been Alpha over Laura? Dude, you are delusional. You not becoming Alpha after the fire had nothing to do with you burning, and everything to do with the fact that you're a monster. Hell, the only way you had a shot at Alpha-hood was to steal it.

“Derek's fucked up plenty, yes, but even on his worst days he's better than you. He at least is sane.”

His words are working, Stiles can see it, and he continues to taunt the 'wolf.

“In fact, should Derek die today? You're not even in the running to become the next Alpha. It'll be Cora, or Scott if she's not an option either. Hell, even Isaac is a better candidate for Alpha than you and I really don't like that guy. No, you're going to have to kill the rest of your family and the new Hale pack along with them to even have a shot.

“Fuck, if I was that Alpha spark? I'd leave the Hale line – hell, existence even – completely over settling in you. You're simply too corrupt.

“You speak of Derek and Laura not being worthy of the Alpha spark. The truth is that you're the one that's unworthy. The world truly will be a better place once you're dead.”

Peter's eyes flicker back and forth and Stiles is actually kind of surprised he's not already dead. Maybe Peter still thinks he can get something out of keeping him alive.

“Brave words, Stiles, but that's all they are. Words. You don't understand what it's like to be a werewolf, what it means to be in a pack. But I'll make sure you do. Before the sun rises I'll be the Alpha, and like it or not you're going to help me. And as a reward I'll give you what you wanted but were afraid to say yes to all those years ago.

“Once my useless nephew is out of the picture you'll be my beta. Part of my pack. And you'll be good to me, won't you Stiles? After all, you have...experience in being good to your Alpha, don't you?” Peter's voice is silky-sweet around the words, and Stiles shudders with disgust.

What Peter is hinting at is never going to happen, not even if Stiles has to kill himself to make sure it doesn't. Yes, he's made some pretty harsh statements about what was between him and Derek, but not even at the lowest point did that make him feel as dirty as Peter's mere words are doing now.

At the same time Stiles is willing to put money on the fact that Peter doesn't really mean what he's saying. Oh, he might follow through, especially if he leaves Derek alive, but this isn't about any kind of want or desire. This is about scaring Stiles, about rattling him, about making him beg.

He's not going to do that.

“Fuck no.”

“Tsk, tsk. You'll sing a different tune once you're in my pack.”

Stiles laughs again, short and sharp, putting as much mockery as he can muster in it.

“Your pack? You don't have a pack. You'll never have a pack. All you've got, Peter, is two people who shares blood with you and who pity you too much to put you down like the animal you are.

“Really, where's an Argent when you need them?”

That does it. Peter's claws pop, his teeth lengthen and his eyes shine like lasers. Only one of them will walk away from this, and Stiles has finally managed to tip the scales enough that it just might be him. Of course, even almost out of his mind with rage Peter does have some control – he hasn't howled, for instance, keeping it in as to not warn anyone. Stiles's chance is tiny, and it mostly depends on outside factors, but unlike five minutes ago it exists.

Now he just has to be right about a number of factors.

Luckily he is.

The window breaks, glass splintering and flying across the cabin. Peter jerks back as a big furry shape follows and Stiles hurries to to put his back against a corner. Chances are that Peter will win this fight so he's not safe yet, but he's certainly safer than he was a minute ago.

No one had been happy with Stiles going back without Embry. Hell, Stiles hadn't been happy about it. Had it been an option he would have brought the entire pack with him – preferably both even. Jake'd been on the verge of laying down an Alpha order about Stiles and John not going on their own for weeks, the only thing stopping him being the safety of LaPush. Instead he had had to stop basically the entire pack from sneaking off to follow them, same for Sam.

The compromise had been one 'wolf. There had been a fight over who got to go, and even Leah – who still think Stiles is being an idiot – had wanted to go. Of course, Leah is also finally pregnant and no one wants to put her and the baby at risk. (Plus, she's not feeling that great. The phrase “sick as a dog” takes on a new light when you've seen a horse sized shape shifter with violent morning sickness, Stiles decided after seeing Leah sick up to the point where she phased out of her wolf form and fainted. Yuck.)

Embry still hadn't been allowed to go, and Stiles knows why, knows that Jake has a point in claiming Embry's bond to Stiles would cause him to be on edge and risk exposing them in more ways than one. That doesn't make it easier to deal with though.

Stiles wishes with all his being that it could have been Embry.

Instead it had been decided that Collin, as the most harmless looking one, should go and play hapless tourist. He had arrived in Beacon Hills a couple of days ago, and as far as Stiles knows no one's picked up on anything strange about him or his story.

Of course, with Collin being one of the youngest and least experienced 'wolves he's not the one Stiles would have wanted in a fight against Peter Hale.

All he really is is a distraction, but it does gives Stiles a chance. While Peter's attention is on the giant 'wolf Stiles slowly eases the hidden blade from his sleeve and then carefully rips open his cuff.

The mountain ash concealed in the cuff does as it's meant to and falls into his hand. Now he's got a chance.

Provided nothing has gone to hell in the last couple of hours there is at least one other 'wolf near, able to warn others. If it has and they're on their own, then there's always howling.

All Stiles needs to do is get up a barrier and they'll have some breathing room. He just needs some distance between Collin and Peter.

At first the giant 'wolf is causing Peter to be cautious, but it doesn't take long for the man to realize he's the strongest of them. The wolf shape is excellent for fighting and killing vampires, but less so when it comes to another type of werewolf.

Collin yips in pain and Peter strikes again. This time he lands a powerful blow that throws Collin across the cabin. He lands heavily, with a whine, and doesn't get up. Stiles swallows as he sees blood pooling out from the still body.

A 'wolf can heal just about anything, given time. Peter won't give them that though. He's already stalking across the floor with blood dripping from his claws and a sadistic smile on his face. He's fast enough that he could have crossed before Stiles knew what was happening. This slow walk is just a show, meant to intimidate Stiles.

Too bad it just gives him the time he needs.

“You've been keeping secrets. I'll enjoy dragging them out of you.”

It's a promise, meant to invoke, and it works. But Stiles has gotten used to pushing down his fear and working through it, and so he looks Peter straight in the eyes and quips.

“Didn't your Alpha teach you not to play with your prey?”

And then he throws the mountain ash.

He's practiced this very moment over and over until he doesn't need to walk the perimeter, or to have “enough” ash. All he needs is a little bit and his belief.

He's never believed anything this hard before.

“Mountain ash? Always the clever one, aren't you? But your little trick won't save you, or your friend there. You can only hold the barrier for so long, and I can be a very patient man.

“It would be wise of you not to test that patience though. Sooner or later your father will walk through that door, and I would hate to kill him just to prove a point.”

Like he'd let any of them live either way.

“Here's the thing, Peter. You would be wise to leave now. Who knows, run fast enough, far enough, and you might even live to regret your actions here tonight. Because Game of Thrones might be shit about a lot of things, but they're dead right about: 'the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives'. And you, Peter. You're all alone.”

“You think you're pack? You, my useless nephew's even more useless fucktoy? Don't make me laugh.

“Since you're apparently too stupid to realize, I've got you trapped in here. You've got no way to call for help,” and he steps on Stiles's phone, grinding it to components to make a point, “your supposed savior is out like a light, dying as we speak, and your mountain ash barrier is weakening by the minute.”

It's not. Stiles can feel that it's still just as strong, but it's a good tactic, trying to shake the belief holding it together.

“That poor fool is even more of an idiot than that useless beta of mine. He didn't even howl for help. Not that he would have gotten any, but he didn't even try. Pathetic.”

Stiles smirks. No, Collin hadn't howled. But with the LaPush pack mind he didn't need to, not being shifted.

“Peter? This is the 21st century. Proper 'wolves use cellphones just like the rest of us.

And then in a show of timing almost too good to be true Seth and Brady jumps through the broken window as Derek – followed by Cora – break through the door.

Stiles almost sobs with relief. Having Collin arrive had been such a help, but it hadn't really made him feel safe. Not when up against Peter Hale. The same goes for Brady. They're his friends, yes, but they're the most inexperienced of the 'wolves and they're Sam's. Seth is, well, he's not that much more experienced but he's pack. That matters.

It's not the fact that they're four against one that calms Stiles, or even that Derek is there – it's the presence of pack.

He still wishes Embry was with him, but now he dares to believe he'll see his 'wolf again.

Peter is actually looking stunned, faced with another two giant wolves. And is that a hint of fear Stiles sees? It could be. After all Peter has to realize that while Derek and Cora might be swayed to spare him out of sentimentality, these new and unknown wolves have no such compunctions. Stiles wonders if the crazed 'wolf sees his death in their arrival.

He hopes so.

The four circle Peter, cutting of all routes of escape. If he wants to leave he'll have to go through them, and that's not as easy as fighting Collin might lead Peter to believe. They don't attack though and Stiles can't help but think his 'wolves are holding back out of consideration for Derek, and to a lesser degree Cora.

Seth and Brady both know that Peter needs to die, but Derek has had a hard time reconciling with the fact that killing Peter had been necessary the first time. He hasn't even wanted to entertain the idea that it might be needed a second time, and might want to give Peter a chance to surrender.

Or it's just about waiting for the right moment. Regardless Stiles finds himself unable to watch what is about to come. Strange. He'd had no problem watching Peter die the first time, had thrown Molotov cocktails at him and watched Derek rip his throat out without regret. He has been certain Peter needs to die again since about 5 seconds after finding out he was back.

And yet he finds he can't watch.

As Peter lounges, desperately, towards Brady – either having identified him as the easiest target or unwilling to attack his remaining blood family – Stiles burrows his face into Collins fur and tries to shut it all out. They're safe behind the mountain ash barrier, and their friends will take care of Peter without them. They're safe, the barrier will hold, their friends will live, and Peter will die.

Stiles's world shrinks down to those four things, trying to will it into existence.

They're safe. The sound of a large body hitting the wall.

The barrier will hold. A grunt as claws strike flesh.

Their friends will survive. A high-pitched whine and the smell of blood.

Peter will die. A howl rises, then cuts out and is replaced by silence.

Derek and Cora are curled up together, shaking and crying and laughing all at once, both their eyes flashing between red and beta blue or gold. Stiles looks at them and feels a sting. Not jealousy, precisely, because he's got Seth, and Brady, and he's pretty sure Embry is a lot closer to Beacon Hills than Jake really likes, just...

Derek won't be coming back with him.

Stiles knew that already, knew that Cora would be vulnerable after the transfer of power, and that having Derek essentially break away straight after wasn't going to happen. They'd talked about it repeatedly and made their plans accordingly.

It's even more true now, with the added trauma of Peter's betrayal and death, causing her to lose a pack member already that day along with half of her remaining blood family.

For her to lose Derek on top of that... No. Stiles doesn't wish that on anyone. Cora needs to stabilize herself, find her balance again, and both siblings need to be allowed to grieve.

Again, it's no surprise that Derek will be staying in Beacon Hills for a while. It's just... It was abstract before. Now it's right there in his face, and Stiles realizes he wasn't prepared.

Looking at Derek and Cora he also realizes that regardless of what they've said, what they've promised, there's a possibility that Derek will change his mind now that the moment is here. It's possible that Beacon Hills without Peter will be tempting enough that Derek will start seeing it as his home again. It's possible that he will decide that staying with Cora, and the pack he started, is more important than being with Stiles.

If he does... It'll hurt. It'll even hurt like hell. But if it's one thing Stiles has learned it's this: he can live through that, can heal from it, because he won't be alone. Even if he doesn't have Derek he'll have Embry, and his pack.

But that's not how Stiles sees it happening. Not after everything they've been through to get to where they are.

Derek is going to grieve with his sister, and help her settle, and when he's ready he'll leave Beacon Hills, leave their own personal Hellmouth, and come back to Stiles.

Because that's where they're headed, full circle. When they're both ready things will be different. This time around it'll be Derek joining Stiles's pack. There will be no begging, no miscommunication, no posturing, no self-hatred and no Alpha crap. It'll just be Stiles and Derek, healed and happy and together, trying their very best to love each other and not do anything stupid.

It'll be great.

Stiles believes it with all that he has and is. And his belief? Is magic.

~ The End ~

#chocoholic fics #...asd #teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #twilight crossover #...as stupid does #in 2021 we finish our wips #stupid 'verse

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stilesxeveryone · 3 years

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The Rewatch, pt4

Feel free to message or comment any of your own thoughts/opinions!

Season 2, episode 7

All adults in the vicinity crossing their arms as soon as Stiles opens his mouth to say something stupid

“No stiles!” Rip all of his Stiles privileges

I have to assume that kanima!Jackson assaulted Allison because Matt is into her, which is a whole new level of creepy because oh god that means Matt can control the kanima more than just “hey kill that guy”, like this suggests it sort of takes on Matt’s emotions and shit

Stiles knows Jackson’s birthday

Uhhhh missed the rest of the episode because I was drawing, whoops

Just Peter traumatising Lydia, it’s fine

Season 2, episode 8

I always love Stiles and his father interacting tbh, they very much know how to deal with each other’s bullshit a lot of the time and I appreciate it. Seeing them work on a case together is wonderful

Again, this scene between Stiles and his dad about him losing his sheriff position is actually heartbreaking, goddamn

Ah, the first hints of Scott/Isaac

Reminder that Jackson is canonically queer

Also yesssssssssss magic Stiles! That’s my boyyyyyy! I need to write witch Stiles again

Stiles being pack mum will continue to always be one of my favourite tropes and this is just reminding me that I want to rewrite my 10 chapter fic about human alpha Stiles

Deaton saying the teenagers are “more capable than you think” is a goddamn terrible take, they need so much help. Like yeah they can get out of this alive, but your job as emissary/mentor/adult/whatever is to help reduce their trauma

Season 2, episode 9

I feel like the only time I ever really see Lydia’s trauma mentioned in fics is like in passing about why she hates Peter, but maybe I just don’t read enough fics about Lydia

Also I don’t mean this in a weird way, but I really like the sound of Lydia’s scream. Sometimes shows just use bad screams and it’s a tragedy, but the scream they use for Lydia is brilliant

“Doesn’t being a part of your pack mean no more secrets” I can’t tell if that’s Scott being hypocritical or manipulative but wow

Even though I don’t like Allison’s mother, it still breaks my heart to see her try to talk to Allison before she takes her own life, and Allison doesn’t know so she just brushes her off

Stiles kept in touch with the drag queens which is actually amazing information

Again! Stiles and his father! Making me cry! I mean this time it’s a hallucination but goddamn

Chris was killing his wife, I was thinking about how strong his forearms looked

I’m really interested to know how in the world Peter knew that Lydia was immune/a banshee, and that she’d be able to bring him back

Season 2, episode 10

Someone needs to explain this part to me. Like I literally don’t understand the order of events of Matt and the kanima bonding and Isaac’s dad dying. Like did Jackson kill him before they bonded, and if so why didn’t he bond with Isaac instead? Or did he somehow bond with Matt before killing Isaac’s dad, even though this flashback clearly shows them bonding after the fact?

Please someone give me an explanation

“Scott I trust” that is such a sad line

Hhhhhhh wish people would stop manipulating Allison, and can we get some better communication over here please!

Okay Stiles’ dad shouting Scott’s name first when he hears a gunshot kinda hurts guys

I do appreciate that this show doesn’t half ass their villain character motivations. Sometimes I see villains and I have literally no idea why they do what they do, but not this guy

Okay clearly this show enjoys killing their villains in the same way twice, like they burned Peter twice, and now they’re drowning Matt twice

Season 2, episode 11

Stiles (Dylan O’Brien) is so pretty (and clearly this cameraman knew it)

Isaac coming into the vet clinic like a lost pup is really adorable, and him crying after taking the dog’s pain away 🥺

Peter you manipulative son of a bitch, stop looking so good

Oh boy Allison going off the rails and hunting Erica and Boyd, I wish she’d go feral in the other direction and shoot Gerard

Stiles winning the game, and having this amazing moment and having something to be proud of, and then immediately getting kidnapped is kinda fucked up and I appreciate it

Season 2, episode 12

As always, give me pack mum Stiles or give me death

And as always, Stiles never shutting his mouth during interrogations and fights is my favourite thing to see. Also would be into a Stargent or Stallison fic where one of them realises Stiles is down in the basement and they step in

Why does Stiles look so good with that blood on his face

And that no one! No one knows! That Gerard beat Stiles up! As far as we see, he doesn’t tell anyone about it!!!

I honestly appreciate that Chris goes to the side of the werewolves before Allison does, I think it’s very fun and cool

And here it is, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Scott using Derek to kill Gerard. He’s just so uncaring about the fact that he lied to everyone about what was happening, planned to violate Derek’s autonomy and had planned to murder Gerard, like it’s so weird to see him so nonchalant about it

Erica and Boyd just can’t catch a break

I think there are definitely parts of this season that I enjoy more than the first, and parts I enjoy less. I love the characters they introduce (Isaac, Erica and Boyd) and I love the exploration of Allison’s character, and Stiles’ relationship with his dad. I hate Gerard (which is a good thing), and god bless Chris coming round to the winning side (even though technically he went through this same thing last season, of realising his family member must be stopped before his daughter gets hurt).

I do wish the ending was different, and that Scott went about defeating Gerard in a different way. Or at least for him to show any empathy? He just feels so callous and uncaring as he uses Derek and as Gerard dies and I don’t know if it’s bad acting or bad writing or maybe even my misunderstanding of his character, but I feel like that just doesn’t fit him.

Also maybe this is just me, but I kinda wish that Matt wasn’t major stalking Allison. It feels a little like an unnecessary cherry on top, or maybe I’m just not thinking hard enough about what it added to the season.

#the rewatch #alex rewatches teen wolf #teen wolf

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gingersimasnaps · 4 years

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I'm not even sorry for this one 💁‍♀️

Vera is AGAIN OOC as fuck because obviously I don't know how to write canon Vera, English is again horrible, and it's angstyyy! 😁

@bakulka @fanfics-she-wrote @everythingabouthatship - I won this one. 😘

Angsty Vermish fic ❤️

This has to be some kind of a fucking joke.

Because no way this situation is happening seriously.

Vera Stone, Grand Magus, is standing in front of new Massachusetts Temple Magus and this just can't be true. She really waits for someone to jump from behind the door, laughing, and telling her it's just a joke, but it doesn't happen.

With almost sheepish smile, Derek Johnson is standing in front of her. Her ex boyfriend. Father of her dead daughter.

"Vera..." He says quietly. "Hi."

She wants to do three hundred things right now. She wants to run, to yell, to claw his eyes out, to hug him, to kiss him, to call Hamish-

Hamish.

The thought of him stops the madness in her head.

"Hi, Derek," she answers simply and tries to hold the cold tone of voice but failes miserably.

"I... Haven't seen you for a long time."

"Not exactly my fault, is it?" she snaps.

"I know, I know, and I'm incredibly sorry, Vera. I really am. I wasn't ready to be a father back then."

She scoffs. "Because I was so ready to be a mother."

Derek holds his hand up as a sign of peace. "I know I was the grand coward," he sighs.

"Yeah, you were. Now, back to the work. You were selected by your Massachusetts chapter and by the Gnostic council as the new Temple Magus. It won't be easy, I warn you. You have to be careful. You have all of your chapter's acolytes under your wing now so listen to me carefully. I don't want to hear about one single unnecessary death from your temple."

She dips into explaining him his duties and tries to ignore his body warmth when he stand closer to her to see what she's showing him in some book.

"I would love to be a part of our child's life if you allow me," Derek says when they're done and after they agree he will stay here for a week or so, to observe her work. Vera tenses up.

"She's dead."

"WHAT?!"

The next thing she knows is she's crying, and Derek rushes to hug her. He doesn't let her go when she sobs out what happened.

Suddenly the door are flying open, and Hamish is standing there, with a drink in his hand. Of course, it's 4 PM. He always brings her drink at this time. And she's still in Derek's embrace.

Hamish watches how she pulls away from the man and how he doesn't want to let her go. He watches his lingering touch while Hamish is setting the glass on her table.

"Your drink, Grand Magus," he says blankly, and turns his back to them.

"Thank you," Vera calls softly, which makes him to turn back again. Her eyes are wet. And so incredibly vulnerable. He wants to hold her. But, obviously, there is someone else to do it now.

"You don't have to thank me, Grand Magus," he answers, and goes away.

Derek stays for more than a week. It's been over a month now. He spends all his time in the Temple. With Vera.

Hamish is just tired and sick of all this. He tries so hard to maintain everything in his life and he feels he just reached the bottom of his strength.

His pack kind of excommunicated him. Randall is mad at him because he's 'not acting as the leader should act', and Jack doesn't care enough, as he's consumed with his relationship with Alyssa. Lilith is the only one who seems to care, but she has her own life. And yet, he's still trying to keep them all safe because excommunicated or not, it's his duty and he needs to do it.

He teaches fucking big bunch of classes now, because Krowchuk is on long term sick leave. He's still Magistratus, so he works for Order as well.

And the most painful thing is the fact Vera is spending all her free time with a man she swore she hates to the guts. And she enjoys it.

The last blow is delivered when he works on the drink for her (yes, he's so stupid he still does that) and hears her loud, genuine laugh from her office, where she is with Derek. After a few seconds, the door opens, and the man walks to the bar.

"I'll take it to her, Magistratus, thank you," he says with a smile. Sly smile. "She will never be yours, young man. I was the first and I will be also the last."

Hamish stands there for a few minutes, feeling completely empty. This has happened only once in his life so far - when Cassie died. Vera is still very much alive, but he lost her also.

Fuck this.

Hamish almost runs from the temple, hops in his car and drives to his parents' cabin, about an hour from Belgrave. Once he turns the engine off, he fishes his phone out of his pocket and types a single message to her.

Derek is telling Vera some story and she listens, of course, when he phone chimes, announcing new message.

"Leave it," says Derek, but she reaches for in anyway.

Hamish [5:26PM] I quit.

"Wait," she silences Derek. What does Hamish mean by quitting? His TA position? The Order? He can't exactly quit Knights. Or does he mean he's quitting them? She dials his number. It rings and rings and rings, but no one answers.

"Fuck," she grits between her teeth and furiously types a message. Then another and another.

Vera [5:30PM] What do you mean?

Vera [5:31PM] What are you quitting??

Vera [5:31PM] Answer me!

Vera [5:32PM] Hamish, please, tell me what's wrong?

Vera [5:35PM] This is not funny.

Vera [5:48PM] Hamish where are you? Tell me where you are.

Vera [5:54PM] MAGISTRATUS, COOPERATE!!!

Derek watches her attempts to contact him and of course he doesn't like it. Vera is his. She shouldn't give a fuck about the BOY when she has *the* MAN next to her. He tries to bring her attention back to him, but with no success. Vera tries another call, and this time the person answers.

"Ms. Bathory, do you happen to know where Hamish is?" she asks immediately, to hell with Mr. Duke.

"Why do you suddenly care?" asks Lilith back in her typical 'Kilith' way.

"Ms. Bathory-"

"Because to me, you didn't seem to bother with Hamish during the past month."

"Can you please tell me where he is?" Vera's voice is soft and if Lilith wouldn't know her, she would say she's almost begging.

"I don't know," she gives up. "But I would check the cabin. His parents own it, we crashed there once or twice for holidays. I'll send you the address."

"Thank you, Lilith," Vera says and ends the call. After a minute, Lilith really sends her the address.

"What's going on?" Derek asks for like 108th time.

"Hamish, the man who makes all the drinks texted me 'I quit' and I need to find him," Vera answers. "Whatever is happening, I'll help him to find a solution."

"Well if he wants to leave then let him leave, no? After all, it's gonna be better for you."

Vera turns to him with disbelief. "Excuse me?!"

"It's more than obvious the boy is in love with you. He's so bad at hiding it he could tattoo it on his forehead. Poor kid no way reaches your limits, not even with some branch two meters long. And I already told him now that I'm here, he doesn't need to bother anymore. Let him leave. It's for the best."

Grand Magus feels pure rage flooding in her veins. "What LIMITS are you talking about, Derek?! Who the fuck gave you the right?!"

Derek smiles. "Honey, we both feel we're the right match for each other. Don't deny it." He tries to reach for her, but she yanks her hand from his grasp.

"Oh my fucking God, I can't believe I was so stupid! I really thought you want to learn about your work, but all this time, you were just trying to get into my panties! And how do you even dare to talk to Hamish about him bothering or not?!" she's literally screaming on top of her lungs.

"If you need to know it, we were a thing long before you came here. Me and Hamish, and I was the one who iniciated it. I never want to have anything with you again, because it's you who can't reach HIS limits. Hamish would never- fuck this. You don't deserve to know him at all."

"Now who's running from who?!" Derek yells when she gathers her belongings, ready to chase Hamish to the other side of the planet if she needs to.

"I'm not running from you. I'm running TO him. And I'm not leaving you knocked up at 16 with words 'I don't fucking want to be dad, God knows who you fucked with!'" Vera hisses, and magically throws - literally - him out of her office.

She's driving fast, violating the speed limits, but her heart is pounding painfully in her chest and her mind is screaming at her to go even faster. What had she done? What had possessed her that she almost dumped her source of happiness and joy for Derek?! How could she hurt Hamish so much, when she promised to herself multiple times she never wants to hurt him?

Suddenly, her hands grip the steering wheel with such force her knuckles turn white.

Please, please, oh God please, he didn't think he's quitting his LIFE, right?!

She feels bile in her throat and swallows forcefully. The image of his lifeless body is in front of her eyes and a sob escapes her. No. No, no, no, no, no, NO. He wouldn't do that, not because of her, she's not worth it!!!

Vera drives even faster.

When she arrives, it's 6:47PM. Normally, she would be impressed she managed to get there so fast, but now, everything she needs is to know Hamish is alive.

Vera doesn't bother with knocking or whatever, she just bursts through the door.

Hamish is sitting on the couch, in front of TV that is switched off, and just stares at the black screen.

"Hamish-" Vera manages to breathe and he looks at her. There is so much pain in his eyes she almost cries out.

"What do you want, Grand Magus," Hamish sighs, and she drops her purse in the floor and runs to him.

"You," she says. "I want you and I want us, forever. I'm so sorry, Hamish, for everything I put you through. For the past month. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me? Please... I don't know what to do without you. I don't know how to breathe right when you're not next to me."

"You have Derek now, don't you?" he says, and she puts her hands on his cheeks.

"No. I don't even wanna know what he told you but it's not true. I never wanted him back. I have to admit it was interesting for me to have him around again, but I never wanted him back as my boyfriend, or partner, or lover or whatever connected with feelings. I have you for all of these things. And you have me, Hamish. You have all of me." She climbs in his lap and feels so relieved when Hamish wraps his hands around her waist.

"I love you, Hamish. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I never will. Can you forgive me? I'm not asking for instant forgiveness, but someday?"

Hamish leans in and kisses her, and Vera kisses back, with all the 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' and 'I want you' and basically every emotion she's feeling.

After their century long kissing (and yet it's not enough, it never can be enough), Vera hugs him tightly, presses his face into his neck, and Hamish is swinging them slowly and gently from left to right. Neither of them says a word, and they don't need to. Vera just wants to spend rest of her life engulfed in his embrace, and Hamish never wants to let her go. They both came home today.

Home is where the heart is.

#hamish x vera #vera x hamish #vera/hamish #vera stone #hamish duke #fanfiction #vermish #hermetic order of the blue rose #the order #knights of the blue rose

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straycatwandering · 5 years

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Dark meta of the day

Or night because hey, my brain has decided sleep is for the weak.

So Derek and Paige happens, Derek ends up with blue eyes, Paige ends up dead of an "animal attack". Talia reassures Derek he's still perfect, life goes on.

And comparatively soon after the suspicious animal attack, Kate drops by into town and takes an interest in young Derek. Investigating they kind of animal attack is actually a pretty understandable thing for a hunter to do after a suspicious death--particularly of a girl whose boyfriend has a wolfy surname. (Not the way Kate does it, obviously, but the fact that she does.)

What's less understandable is the complete non-involvement of Hale pack while this is happening. Peter spent the Paige incident getting all up in Derek's business to a frankly creepy extent, but has now completely backed off from the scene? Literally none of the other pack adults questioned Peter's part in the Paige thing and decided to keep an eye on their recently bereaved teen beta? None of them went "hunters may come check this out, better make sure Derek stays out of trouble."

What if it was the reverse? What if it was a matter of "Derek is now a liability to the pack, but the Argents abide by the code and will take care of that without any unnecessary collateral damage"? What if the plan was to stand back and let it happen?

(What if that's why post-fire Laura Hale, on the brink of adulthood, and just starting to learn how the world really works, took Derek after the fire and not the hell out of dodge, and didn't think twice about leaving. Peter to rot.)

#derek hale meta #derek hale #teen wolf meta #teen wolf #Kate argent

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unlikely-colour-strawberry · 5 years

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My thoughts of R*ylo and Kylo Ren based off “The Force Awakens” and “The Last Jedi” -including the book adaptations

I can’t follow any Star Wars tags without seeing something to do with R*ylo. From the moment I saw “The Force Awakens”, I only thought of Kylo Ren as a disappointing villain desperately trying to be Darth Vader but failing. He’s a villain with zero redeemable qualities. “The Last Jedi” just reaffirmed my disappointment and anger towards the character. He was ok in “The Force Awakens”. The introduction of the new bad guy with a bit of drama but no real backstory or reason given as to why he was doing the things he was doing. In “The Last Jedi”, we’re given a bit of his backstory, which only told me that he had what appeared to be everything going right for him, but if LUKE MOTHERLOVING SKYWALKER saw so much evil in that boy that he actually felt the need to kill him to protect the entire universe, THAT BOY IS NONREDEEMABLE. Granted, the entirety of “The Last Jedi” was a disjointed mess with blatant scenes catered to fans of Kylo Ren -and literally none of the other characters. Every other character felt expendable in the film, which is a sure sign of poor writing when the main character felt like a side character to the villain.

I went into “The Force Awakens” watching Kylo Ren come on screen and thought “Oh, he seems kinda cool, but he’s trying too much to be like Darth Vader”, and as the film progressed, I found myself extremely disappointed in his originality. He has no personality other than anger and hatred. He has issues with his parents and family, but none of that is explained, even in the second film. At least with Darth Vader, we had a view into what caused him to go down that path to the Dark Side, but with Kylo Ren, we have nothing. What made his life so bad that he felt he needed to murder children and continue to murder and rape and commit patricide when his father clearly still cared about him? The reason we can sympathize with Darth Vader is because he couldn’t bring himself to kill his family, as estranged they were and considering they were on opposite sides. But Kylo Ren didn’t care at all about his parents. He manipulated Han in order to kill time before murdering him in cold blood. He may have hesitated to murder his mother, but he clearly doesn’t seem to care about her by the end of “The Last Jedi”. There’s no evidence of abuse or neglect. He had parents who loved him, and an uncle that was willing to teach him, to make him a Jedi. Even when Luke was about to kill him in order to protect the universe, he hesitated, because he cared about his nephew. And what did Kylo do? Attempted to murder his uncle, then actually murdered children and went off to join the Dark Side for seemingly no other reason than power. That’s all he seems to want, i.e. Luke’s lightsaber, Rey’s untapped potential on his side, and the power of the First Order by murdering the leader and taking his place.

What is Kylo Ren’s goal? Other than ultimate power and the destruction of the Light Side? What redeemable qualities does he have that his fans think he has? I’ve seen him do nothing but horrible, abusive things to my favourite characters. I genuinely want him to die irredeemable in Episode IX. If he ends up being redeemed -by Rey or whoever-, then that will send a message that evil, vile people like him should be forgiven, even if they’ve committed atrocious and unforgivable acts. That will let people think it’s ok to give passes to someone who’s abusive if they “are really good in the end”. That message is not healthy for the young fans of these movies. Part of me honestly wishes they hadn’t made these sequels just because of Kylo Ren’s entire character. You know what good examples of redeemable “villains” are? Derek Hale -only in season one and two, Loki, Nebula, Yuri Plisetsky, and other characters like that. They have depth. They have a personality. They have qualities completely unique to them. That’s what makes them good characters, even if they’re considered “bad guys”.

To me and many others, there’s nothing that interesting about Kylo Ren’s character or arc. Maybe we’ll get a little more of his backstory in Episode IX, who knows. But from the two movies and books we have at our disposal right now, I’ve seen nothing about him that makes me admire him or want him to be “saved” in the last film. I honestly want Rey to kill him, to put him out of his “misery” and save the rest of the galaxy. That would be a fitting end to such a terrible villain character, to me. I would also LOVE for them to be somehow related, because then all the shippers would scramble to “fix” their ship to make it somehow not incestuous. And you know what else I would love? For Rey to end up with Finn, who has proven over and over that he truly cares about her and her happiness. Or for her to end up with no one, like Luke -in the movies, I understand he has a lady love and kids in another form of Star Wars media. Rey doesn’t NEED to have a love interest to be a successful female character. She does that all on her own with her courage, compassion, and smarts. I care so much about Rey. I care extremely little about Kylo Ren. I only hope that Episode IX provides a conclusion to this series with some much needed catharsis.

If Kylo Ren IS made redeemable, I will be even more sorely disappointed in the writers. You can’t give an evil character numerous chances to be saved, only to have them constantly make the wrong choice. It’s too late in the trilogy for Kylo Ren to be saved. He’s shown zero interest in dealing with the consequences of his actions. He’s shown zero remorse for being the cause of thousands of innocent deaths. He’s shown zero care or compassion for any other person. And he has done nothing but make horrible choice after horrible choice in order to selfishly gain what HE wants: power. I’m going to see Episode IX when it comes out this December, but it will be with higher expectations than the last film. I want justice for the innocent lives lost. I want Rey to claim her own path. I want Finn and Poe to not be pushed to the side and made into stereotypes whilst being given unnecessary love interests. I want a sense of completion after all the mixed feelings I’ve had since they announced the new trilogy. I honestly don’t want to consider any of these three films canon. I hope that my future children will be satisfied if I only have the original six films on hand. And if they choose to watch the newer films, I will have to explain to them that Kylo Ren is the bad guy, no matter what happens in Episode IX.

#star wars #anti reylo #anti kylo ren #kylo ren #rey #episode ix

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south-flying-sparrow-archive · 5 years

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it’s time. (resurrection and previous books spoilers)

My first post on Tumblr, titled, “okay but skulduggery pleasant,” was a disaster. In every way, shape, and form.

Let’s try that again, with:

Why Ghastly (and possibly the other dead men) Is Coming Back. We’ll start off, first of all, with simply Ghastly, on his own.

Ghastly’s death was unnecessary.

Why do I think this? Well. I, personally, believe that there was No Need for the war at the end of Phase 1, except to wipe the slate clean of characters for Phase Two. In place of Ghastly and Ravel, we get Omen and Temper and Never and Alice and all those lovable little eedjits. Except, Derek got rid of Fletcher and Tanith in other ways.

Tanith is an assassin. She gets a less-than-major role in the sidelines, and Valkyrie and Skulduggery are still scratching their heads on where she’d vanished off to. Fletcher is now a teacher, with very little in the way of mentions.

Two perfect examples of what could have happened to Ghastly.

Bung him off, pack him away where he isn’t needed, whatever. No big deal. There was no reason for him to die.

Ghastly x Tanith, ruined again.

Now. Everyone knows that Derek Landy loves to ruin the relationship between these two. First off, they’re kind of see-sawing, they’re together and they’re not, etc. Then, they kiss, and Ghastly promises Tanith dinner. All well and nice.

Then Tanith goes off and comes back with a Remnant inside her.

What the hell, Landy.

Okay, no biggie, guess we’ll just- she has a boyfriend???? Wait, she has a f i a n c e ?

Well, that was a plot twist. Guess we’ll skip a few books, and - oh, crap. Tanith has no Remnant, whippee, but Ghastly’s dead?

This is literally just an excuse for them not to be together, and Tanith, in my opinion, is only an assassin so when Ghastrly comes back, he doesn’t want to be with her.

There’s nothing named after him.

Now, that might seem a little strange. “What do you mean, Lucy, there’s nothing named after him?”

Morwenna Row. Shudder’s Gate. Hm? Yeah? Those fun things? Where’s Ghastly’s?

I think that that was because Derek Landy didn’t want to have an awkard situation, of, “Oh, yeas, here’s Bespoke street and it was named after this guy who died- Whoops, nevermind, he’s not dead! Haha my bad carry on.”

Instead, nothing named after him, no awkward moments when he comes back, right?

Now, onto the next section:

Why I think all of the Dead Men are going to make a return, minus Ravel.

There are too many mentions of Hopeless and Larrikin, too much backstory, for them to just be dead.

Throughout the series, this pair has been brought up more than once. They played a part in the war, Hopeless was in Armageddon Outta here (AADP), etc. I think that for characters who are long dead, they have too much personality and just enough mystery for them to be interesting, and I refuse to believe that we won’t meet them at some point.

What was the point in Ravel’s soul being sacrificed so specifically?

The Accelerator is weird. Like, seriously - what was the point? Yes, it gave plenty of little tidbots when it came to superpowered sorcerers, but shutting it down? Oddly specific that the person didn’t just have to sacrifice their life, but their very soul.

So in theory, if the Dead Men were to come back - Ravel wouldn’t.

His soul is sitting cosy in the Accelerator, and there was no reason for him to not just be normally dead rather than in that position, unless Derek Landy wanted an excuse for him not to return.

They’re basically over it.

Ghastly and Shudder are all but forgotten, really other than a couple of mentions here and there. There’s still that lingering, “Yeah! They existed! Woo!” but we’ve kind of come to terms with, “Okay, cool, they don’t play any more major parts.” Perfect for us to be sprung with a, “Guess what, lads, they’re alive.”

Why was the idea of people coming to life mentioned? What’s the point?

This one’s pretty simple and small, but in Resurrection, Abyssinia came back. So why make such a huge, fantastical thing canon? Unless you’re going to bring back war heroes for the war we know is coming?

So! That’s me. I’m aware some of these points contrast, and I’m aware I have no real proof to back up anything here, but these are theories. And you can pry these from my cold, dead hands.

If there’s any theories you want to add to this, please tell me! I’ll add them (with credit of course!) if you tell me what it is and why you think so. Cheers, and if Ghastly isn’t back by book 14 I’m rioting.

#skulduggery pleasant #dead men #ghastly bespoke #anton shudder #bedlam #resurrection #hopeless #larrikin #erksine ravel #last stand of dead men #lsodm

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gamearamamegathons · 6 years

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Trauma Center: Second Opinion: Bombs Are Basically Organs, Right?

[Content warning for surgery stuff, and euthanasia, a topic which this game *also* handles poorly]

Circe here! So, now that Derek has learned to use dark magic and defeated evil lung monsters, he's caught the attention of Caduceus, a super research lab that's all about curing incurable diseases. GUILT, admittedly, seems pretty curable with basic surgical tools, you just have to be really good with them, but I guess wielding the healing power of dark magic is worth taking notice of. Derek decides it'd do the most good to roll with Caduceus, so our next surgery is going to be the last one at this hospital before we move on. Here, we've gotta fix a young girl's heart. Hopefully the music can free her whenever it starts. But her heart, unlike the music, is actually stopping quite a lot instead. I hope you remember how to use the defibrillator! I skimmed over it before, but basically you have to push the remote forward, then press B and Z with specific timing, and you get to try again until either you get it or the patient dies. Yay! Here, we need to replace her heart valve with a fake one, but her heart stops, like, every ten seconds, which makes things a bit tricky. I, um, I'm sure she won't suffer any long-term effects from her heart stopping like a dozen times in the space of five minutes, right? Definitely. She's fine. It's fine. She's fine. She's *fine*.

But okay, time for another aside with Dr. Weaver. This time, a shady guy needs her to remove some real bad tumors from some other guy. These tumors are...weird. Each one is surrounded by three veins that have to be severed with a scalpel before it can be removed. Things get pretty wild near the end, and we find that Dr. Weaver, unsurprisingly, also can use dark magic. So it's all good. It seems like Dr. Weaver is seriously indebted to this shady guy, which is why she takes whatever work he needs her to do. Apparently something went bad in Japan, so she had to change her name and leave -- she used to go by Dr. Kimishima, although I'll admit, that name doesn't mean anything to us right now.

Back to Derek! He's off to Caduceus. Unfortunately, Angie's going with us. We're also introduced to a pretty big cast of characters, but I'll just kinda touch on them as they become important. Our first surgery at Caduceus is basically just practicing on the same tiny disease monster as last time, which we now know is called Kyriaki. There's a ton of different strains of GUILT, and it's basically just a catchall for whatever made-up anime disease monster the devs wanted to stick in.

As promised, one of the characters is now important! Introducing Tyler Chase, Derek's friend from med school. Remember the shady whisperings about a 'death doctor'? Well, it turns out Tyler's our guy. Today, in a very special episode of Trauma Center...let's talk about euthanasia. After Derek finds out about this, Tyler talks about how he just wants to end unnecessary suffering, and that's why he euthanizes patients. He talks about Derek 'turning him in' for this, so with the full breadth of context, it seems very much like Tyler is euthanizing patients in secret, illegally, and without asking them. Which...I think is actually murder, not euthanasia.

This comes to a head when we see Tyler's kid sister Amy. She's infected with an incurable strain of GUILT, and all the surgery that has been done on her hasn't helped. Tyler thinks we should just stop, rather than prolong her suffering, but Derek cannot allow that, so he insists on operating. When we go to Amy's room, she says she wants the surgery, and this one moment of a patient objecting to being allowed to die abruptly changes Tyler's mind completely. Which, again, confirms that Tyler has really not been asking anyone if they want to be euthanized. I should hate Tyler more, but this plot point is so bizarre and artificial that I can't really work up the same kind of reaction as I did to Angie. At least there's a sort of driving logic behind Tyler's actions, even if they're, like, kind of awful. This exchange also tells us a lot about the core ethos of Trauma Center, but I think I'm going to save a discussion of that for the end of this game, after we've really had a good chance to just...take in this game's worldview in full.

The surgery itself is more GUILT-based absurdity. This kind if called Deftera. It's made up of red and blue parts, which the game calls tumors, and claims that they only appear to move by replicating their DNA very rapidly. I can only figure that this is confirmation that their tiny monster appearances are kind of...visual metaphors for disease, I guess? But it's kind of sloppy and imprecise so I'm going to continue to treat them as totally literal. Anyway, when a blue and red one crash into each other, they start trying to consume each other, and they can be damaged in this moment. When they're damaged enough, they start freaking out and damaging the patient a lot, but then we can cut them out and remove them. It takes me a couple tries, because it gets kinda hectic once the game introduces two of each color. But eventually we manage it, and Tyler realizes that actually people don't want to die. Hoo-ray.

After this, Derek heads off to an international doctors' conference with another Caduceus doctor, Cybil Meyers. Apparently she used to be a cop before becoming a doctor, and remember that, it's going to be important later. Oh, we also meet Victor Niguel, who's one of Caduceus's R&D guys. Actually, I don't remember if he does anything important, so nevermind him. At the conference, an important-looking guy says that GUILT is being spread by a terrorist organization called Delphi, and we found one of their labs in Africa, where they were experimenting on people. So we should, like, go there and take a look. Everything's good until suddenly, the lights go out and the emergency doors lock everyone inside, and we find a bomb. Cybil makes the logical decision, which is that if we're going to blow up anyway, we should definitely try and just defuse the bomb. I said she's a former cop, right? Apparently she dated a member of a bomb squad, so she like, totally knows about bombs, and how to defuse them with surgical instruments.

Yes, that's right. It's time to operate on a bomb.

As you'd imagine, this patient is a bit unlike any of the others. We need to turn the screws to open the cover, and we need to figure out which way to turn the screws or else the bomb will blow up. After that's done, we need to mess with the voltage, which is just, like, messing with pins till a meter goes right. It's not that interesting. No, the *next* part is where it gets interesting. The bomb core is surrounded by white panels, and at any given time a small number of them will be flashing red. You need to zap the white ones with your laser and avoid the red ones, till they're all gone. I'll admit, it's kinda tense. God, I can't imagine doing this without direct mouse control. Once we get the last of these, we expose the bomb core, but it's surrounded with spinning patterns of red tiles, so we have to laser it without hitting them. It's easiest to use Derek's dark magic here, they go pretty fast. With that done, the bomb is defused, and all the doctors are saved.

Time to go to Africa!

Wait, hold on. First, on the plane over, one of the passengers gets sick, so we have to drain his bad stuff out. This is a pretty conventional surgery, except you're regularly interrupted by airplane turbulence. I also found it kinda boring. You spend way longer than necessary draining fluid from this guy.

OKAY NOW WE'RE IN AFRICA. We find this village abandoned, but after some searching we find this one kid, who conveniently leads us to Delphi's lab. There's not much there, it's been totally abandoned too. The trip turns out to be a wash, but worse yet, when we see the kid again, he's caught...TRIANGLES.

Okay, so let me break this down, because this is where the game starts getting mean. This kid's organ is getting covered with triangles, which basically will petrify it. This will kill him...obviously. This thing is made up of two parts: a regular pattern of triangles, and thorns that stick out of the points of the triangles. A triangle can only be removed when there are no thorns touching it, but the thorns grow back fairly quickly. Also, whenever you remove a triangle, they will attempt to go through a growth cycle. In a growth cycle, an empty space becomes a triangle if it's adjacent to a triangle and two thorns are touching it. There's also another condition, which I only learned about from the wiki, where a triangle with no other triangles next to it will generate three new ones, one on each edge, if it has any thorns touching it at all. Phew. You can see how this could get out of control quickly. I appreciate how this is sort of a puzzle, but it also feels like it doesn't take very many mistakes before you may as well just start over, because if there's a lot of triangles, beating back the growth of thorns is brutal. Also, some thorns will dissolve into mist, and if you don't vacuum the mist out, it'll spread even more triangles. This isn't very hard, but the biggest problem is that it distracts you from your flow of removing thorns as quick as possible, and can lead to falling behind very quickly. It's hectic and difficult, but with a bit of quick thinking and careful action, you'll get rid of every triangle.

At this point, we've actually just hit a chapter break, so I might see about breaking these posts into single chapters from now on. We'll see how that goes. So let's review: shocking a small child's chest a dozen times, tumors with vein shields, amazing fighting color-coded tumors, a fucking bomb defusal with a scalpel and a surgical laser, and of course the peril of triangles. That is all, see you next time!

#circe #marathon #trauma center #trama center second opinion

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toddlazarski · 3 years

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Last Suppers

Shepherd Express

“Please let me go ‘round again.”

— John Prine

I thought the apocalypse would be more exciting. Some kind of heaven-sent fireball, a mushroom cloud of malaise, Mad Max dune buggies. In this far off light I’d always pictured myself bearded, barricaded, adroitly philosophical, suddenly quite adept at swinging a sort of spiked bat or other homemade zombie stopper. Instead, so far, some five weeks in, nobody I know has gotten sick. Nobody in my orbit has died. Even being accosted by our neighborhood Jehovah’s Witness on the street, being told of end times and other corporeal human collapses I couldn’t stand or fully hear—being as they were, uttered by a man six feet away, while a two-year-old pent-up from quarantine perched on my shoulders and periodically bonked my head urging movement—took place from a mindful, strangely respectable social distance.

Mostly these days just find me as an iPhone-glued glut of dissociated dread. A musty sack of torpor filling out ironically-named Champion jogging pants and a Totino’s-stained hoodie crowned by a hastily shaved head. What I’m currently reminded of, for some reason, from somewhere deep within the lizard brain that was weaned on world-end movies, is Deep Impact, and the way it all ends for Tea Leoni’s character: in front of a beloved beachhouse, with brave acceptance, facing truth and demise in the form of an imminent asteroid death, with her—father, maybe? (This recall may be way off, as I only saw the movie once, maybe 20 years ago, but I have a current therapist-mandated pause from internet research as the slightest twitch toward dot com-ing leads inevitably, instantly to a Milla Jovovich in Fifth Element-like doom scroll of terror). Regardless, this is how I view my resignation when being generous: a soft, somber, single tear strong-willed nod and jutted-chin acquiescence. I’ve had my restaurant meals, if they never come again. I’ve had too many, at too many bars. I’ve lived. So, here I am, at the freezer again, my own beloved beachhouse, mustering strength, wondering how much Ben and Jerry’s will pass before life maybe resembles normal again, or else until I see St. Pete, or St. Paul, or whichever is the one at the gates. Measuring the days till Quetzalcoatl in pints of Chunky Monkey. Wondering if I’ll ever again eat Cherry Garcia as a little reward, for a jog and some push ups maybe, instead of a desperate substitute for therapy, lobotomy. My biggest preoccupation is really Instacart deliveries, and the thought of them, the threat of them, where we let the bags sit on the porch like sentinels with tales from the front lines, or like badges of middle class virus-avoidance privilege. We hope the wind cleans off the Corona, I suppose, and then we let the same bags sit inside, eyeing our wares cautiously, suspiciously by the door, weighing the three articles advising cleansing groceries is unnecessary versus the one—always from Medium—that states everything inside a grocery store will likely give you and your grandmother the plague. Then, between the subsequent wiping—of course—and the beginning to plan six days out for the next Instacart delivery, and then the moisturizing of hands out of necessity from washing hands far too much, there has been such a background din of quiet second-coming contemplation. With little to do but wipe the door handle again, with the closest social contact being yet another episode of Cheers, there’s been too much time to think on all this, on all that went, all that was snuffed by a brutal harsh Monday morning reminder—all our kicks, our joys, our dinner plans and drink diversions, all that was maybe never really deserved in the first place.

For one or another—or none at all—reason that I choose to not consider too closely, the last normal weekend in contemporary American existence was a big one. A Friday night trip to Enlightened Brewing to check out Derek Pritzl and the Gamble was a promising prospect, sure. They had recently introduced me to, made me fall deeply in love with, play over and over again, John Prine’s “Speed of the Sound of Loneliness.” Still, as things were, it was largely run-of-the-mill in those distant days of social possibility. Just line up one of a few willing babysitters, jot on the calendar absent-mindedly, leave it peppered, like always, with the growing-old adult notion of if I feel like it. The self-importance of a modern American. The expectation, the world owing me it’s pearls and it’s oysters and it’s artisanal double India Pale Ales, for some reason. There for taking, when we wished. It’s like we were all Mad Men men, coming home from work where you expect your dinner to be waiting, your children cleaned and polite. You did a little bit of work and now you are owed something, the other half of your existence, calm and orderly and “here are your slippers, dear.” Now there is no choosing or taking or rewarding yourself with a night out, or rewarding yourself with a night in. It’s simply like our parents have given us an indefinite timeout, with more whiskey, yes, but also more, much more, morbidity. And also our parents are not coming to our room, eventually, to tell us it will all be ok. Rather, now, they might come, and stand on the sidewalk, while we stand on the front porch awkwardly, not knowing what to do with our hands, with no Easter hugs even considered, and mom might leave sugar cookies in a bag on the sidewalk, as if we were in prison, and she was the jailer that had to slide our sustenance gruel through a slot in the door. Only her said bag came with a real wonder: do we have to disinfect that now? I ran into a friend at Enlightened, then another, then a friend of a friend, and then a work friend—hugs for all the normal tangly tendrils of an adequate social life, amplified by guitars and rollicking songs of regret and craft suds and jocular end-of-week revelry. The band was twangy and driving and jostly, and I wanted it to be louder. Actually my spoiled fragile ego knew I deserved it to be louder. Meanwhile I talked importantly about basketball and somebody told me about their trip to New Orleans. “I’ll be there in a month,” I said. Like an ignoramus, like tempting fate, like I was one of the kids on the playground in Sarah Connor’s nuclear apocalypse nightmare in Terminator 2. There was no Purell in sight, in mind.

Later, at the Newport, the bartender handed me a beer list, and I didn’t even note that, or contemplate my mortality on the fact, he wasn’t wearing latex gloves. I leaned close, doing the thing you have to do at crowded bars where you wedge between two seated patrons, brush one or both, amplify your voice to the hunched-forward Sam Malone, spittle and open mouths and casual “excuse me, I’m sorry, man” contact with strangers not an issue or thought, let alone transgression against the whole of humanity’s existence. The bummer about the NBA that night was that the Bucks were losing to the Lakers. The saddest part about John Prine was the line: “How can a love that'll last forever, get left so far behind?” What would any of us say, had we knowl—in 5 days the entirety of the NBA machinery would be suddenly halted, a broom handle stuck in the grinding gears? That I would have no chance at seeing live music again, for the foreseeable future? And that, weeks later, due to the same crippling circumstances, John Prine would be dead?

The next night, somehow, as if acting on some last-chance latent level, I found myself barreling south for a Saturday night in Chicago. I rode a crowded Amtrak. I held the steel handle up the steps, followed along close in line, plopped unworriedly right on the worn blue cloth seat, I ordered a Lyft, I closed a packed bar with out-of-town big-city tenacity. Old friends shared birthday cake in a corner. I flushed a toilet, maybe didn’t wash my hands for a full 20 seconds, poked at the jukebox, clinked glasses, performed once-normal finger and hand functions that would now cause me to douse both extremities to the elbow in alcohol and ask for a light. My buddy and I kept drinking like we were Goodfellas, bound shortly for a stint in the can, which, in hindsight, we sort of were. Then we ordered another Lyft back to his place, like signing the tab on the last real Saturday night. Sunday was disarmingly sunny, soft, pleasant, the kind of warm early spring sliver that catches you off balance, leaves you without the right clothes or your sunglasses. So we sat inside, at the bar at a place called the Moonlighter, where we nursed hangovers with micheladas and shared fiery chicken wings and sloppily severed a grease-dripping American-cheesed burger and shoved it down our gaping gullets and licked fingers and laughed at the bartender’s Nascar sweatshirt, bitched about his lassitude. It was still a day where you could like a bartender or not like a bartender, and you didn’t have to wonder if all bartenders had simply vanished, poof, gone on the wind, Leftovers-style. You could do your drinking business and move on to the next one. Which we did, literally, deciding on pizza and homebrews at a spot called Bungalow that takes—that took—itself probably a bit too seriously. We’ve often fallen into this habit of double lunch-ing, not so much because we are slobs, fat and greedy and gluttonous. And not as some kind of intuitive acknowledgment that we were approaching end times. It also wasn’t just a love of time together, collapsing the 100 miles that separates our lives with a collective unspoken vow of ceaseless Epicureanism. Well, maybe exactly because of all those reasons. Either way we ate, glad they take, took, themselves so seriously with each bite, sip. And I got a pie to go, tucking it under my arm through Union Station, cradling the box like a toddler’s favorite stuffed dinosaur during my ride home nap, a last pepperoni and sausaged vestige from the world of living, togetherness, an experience slice from before we began to view each other as potentially poisonous flowers.

My final restaurant meal was the day after, at Copper Kitchen, my neighborhood greasy spoon of fluffy omelets and watery coffee that you can never get half down before a refill magically appears tableside. A welcoming diner with video poker, and some staff that still eye me a bit questioningly because I’ve only been coming here for two years, and not 30, like most patrons always around me. By now though, with some work, our regular waitress is beginning to know the score, my daughter and I having seemingly earned the corner booth I always steer her toward. I grab the high chair myself, never need a menu, she orders her own “Mickey Mouse pancakes, please” in an impossibly tiny voice. In many ways, actually, it feels small town-worn, lived-in, like a John Prine song. A surreal slowdown, a place with a cook with a “short order face.” A spot of warm plates and unjudging respite. “If I came home, would you let me in? Fry me some pork chops and forgive my sin?” Our daddy-daughter day this early March Monday was flowing in a far more friendly manner though: another successful trip to the Domes behind us, we had full-stomach cold afternoon warm bed naps ahead. I wanted to tell her some news I was suppressing too, having just briefly talked to my wife on the phone about her recent brief phone call with the doctor. The info was just beginning to gel and bacon-grease coagulate down around my ham and cheese omelet and double-buttered rye. “You’re going to have a sister,” I almost said. Instead I let her eat more bacon, I let the waitress squeeze her arm affectionately as she poured me yet more benign coffee that I would sip and sip until it was time to leave. I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t time yet. But maybe I missed the time. How could I have known, that now, weeks later, Copper Kitchen and restaurants like it, all restaurants, are in real danger of never fully opening again? How was I to know that soon there would be no business anywhere for good news?

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