#emphasis on the pain

[midnight-skylie]

I know most of the DBD fandom probably thinks at paineland at the trope of "x fell first, xx fell harder" is Edwin falling first and Charles now falling harder; because Edwin was obviously shown first to express his feelings.

But consider this-

Charles falling in love with Edwin slowly a little more every day, falling a bit deeper for him every day they spent side by side.

And at some point later- Edwin is crushing hard. Realizing "oh shit, I love him-" and falling hard in a chaotic storm of feeling he doesn't know how to deal with, he's a complete mess.

Idk, I personally prefer the second version more but both options can be great interpretations of their dynamic.

#paineland #emphasis on the pain #they're destroying me i just can't #thank god i dragged other friends with me to watch that show #thank you Jace for putting up with me and talking with me about the show 🙏 #you're a life savior #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives prompts #dead boy detectives netflix #dead boy detectives show #dead gay detectives #that's their official ship name i decided #charles rowland #charles x edwin #painland #edwin payne #edwin paine #not sure what the right spelling is #I'll do them both anyway #edwin x charles #edwin and charles #charles my love #dead boy detectives incorrect quotes #that is very correct actually #it's not incorrect at all #it's correct because i decided so #dead boy detectives memes #neil gaiman #you know what you did

[kingly-court]

Sequel to this

#Chronic illness #Chronic pain #Chronic illness memes #Chronic pain memes #actually chronically ill #Three! New! MEDS! *FUCK* #Also. Emphasis here on the MIGHT BE. I’m. Cautious

[wylanslcve]

Wylan Van Eck 🤝 Percy Jackson

Neurodivergent badasses who choose to be kind despite the world being nothing but cruel to them. Whose refusal to let that cruelty define the people they become doesn't make them incompetent or naive but rather serves as a testament to the strength of their characters. Who confront their abusers but not at the expense of their own goodness. Who are sometimes forced to commit more "immoral" actions due to their circumstances but aren't bad people at the core. Who don't let those actions or circumstances demoralise them because they don't want to be bad people. Who don't necessarily like committing those actions nor do they particularly want to but would do so in a heartbeat for the sake of the people they love. Who are hurting and exhausted from everything they've been through and have every reason to go down a dark path but won't let anything corrupt them or abdicate the goodness within them because that decency is really the only thing they have control over.

#guess i have a type in comfort characters oop #and it has caused me a lot of Pain™️ #emphasis on the fact that they’re total badasses!!! #you can be a badass and also have a big heart!!! #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #wylan van sunshine #percy jackson #seaweed brain #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo cotg #percy jackson tv show #percy jackson tv series #pjo hoo toa #rick riordan #leigh bardugo

[raysdrawlings]

I cannot begin to express how incredibly sweet and warm your zelink comics make me feel. I have... something similar going on in my life right now, and it is hard, but hey! at least your comics make it a tad easier to get through, haha; thank you for making and sharing your art with us!!

I'm happy they make things a little easier! <3

Comics helped get me through some of the hardest times of my life- and it's why I make them now- I'm kinda surprised how many people have left comments or messaged me to let me know how the comics touched them emotionally, or made their day a little better- It makes me really happy <3

#I wanted to write a relationship built on trust and love #with a strong emphasis on respect and communication #also like- acknowledging peoples different experiences and pain #and allowing them the space to grow from that when they're ready

[snarkylinda]

Reading pre-canon fics of the moment Spencer joins the BAU always breaks me in half because he was an lonely babu barely fitting but still had hopes for the future and followed Gideon around like an lost puppy.

Flash-forward to 15 years later and said babu's bright future in question is being barely alive.

#emphasis in alive and not well cause I can actually see the years or phantom pains from here #never mind the emotional one #please save him #criminal minds #spencer reid

[archivalofsins]

Honestly, another thing that inspired the Yuno post outside of the Mikoto thing was the fact that the image they used for her second trial acrylic stand is all of the Yuno's. While everyone else's has been just them. Like-

The easiest game of one of these things is not like the other ever. Milgram really went, we need an acrylic stand of Yuno for trial two- Okay, make sure to get all of them this time as someone went, wait, what do you mean all of them?!

#gunsli rambles #i got yuno's acrylic stand and i've been thinking about it for days me in the er hooked up to a saline drip freezing #“man i hope i can see the yuno acrylic stand with my own eyes hold it in my hands really just exist in the same area as it” #update on that they said i was fine but put an emphasis on going to my gp asap doctor literally said go see them tomorrow #at which point i had to tell them that my gp is closed on weekends their response was if anything else happens to come back immediately #but vitals were good they said and the prescription was pain pills water and literally just don't do anything at all

[actualaster]

I know media does it to most easily showcase how much pain a character is in, but you don't actually need to be in so much pain you're screaming from it for a limb to give out from pain.

Sometimes it's just a white-hot flash of agony so sudden it takes your breath away and the next thing you know you're on the ground/bed/back in the chair/whatever.

It's so abrupt and intense and quick that it's over before you have even a chance to make a sound and all that's left is the deep, lingering ache of it.

And sometimes it's not even pain! Sometimes a limb can just... Stop working and down you go. The pain comes after.

(That's what happened to my knee where I ended up needing to be wheeled around because I couldn't walk--just gave out and hurt after it stopped working)

There's pain you cry out from, for sure, but there's plenty of pain--pain that can be literally debilitating--that you don't scream from, either, but that doesn't make it less of an impediment. Depends on the person themselves a lot, as well as the type of pain itself.

#i have a lot of thoughts on pain and the ways it impacts and manifests and we react to it #because i have a lot of experience with all sorts of different types of pain #(i would like to not have those experiences but we can't always get what we want in life) #just kind of reading a thing right now and the emphasis on the screaming to showcase the pain #feels almost as if it's an attempt to justify a character being unable to use an injured limb #but you don't really need to be screaming for the pain to stop you from using it #you can be in the worst pain of your life and not screaming and that pain can be all-consuming #there are so many words you can use to describe the feel of pain and what it does to the body #so many words you can use to describe the countless ways the body can be broken #there is a reason some consider the giving and/or receiving of pain to be an art form after all #there are so many ways to inflict it and to experience it and to see it in another... #(...sorry if that sounds unsettling but pain is an incredibly varied and often personal experience) #(it's just that people often don't seem to consider the personal aspect of physical pain)

[the-forest-hozier-sings-about]

I’m watching the twitch VOD with tears streaming down my face. I knew we got confirmation that Ashton has chronic pain but I didn’t know it was so explicit. It’s not just an off hand comment it’s real. There was no doubt in my mind that Ashton has chronic pain this entire time but for it to be shown in this way means so much to me. I can’t even express what I’m feeling right now. He’s like me. I’ve never truly felt like this before. I didn’t know how desperately I was craving this representation.

#the emphasis on them being strong 😭 #I’m having a hard time breathing I’m feeling so much #disabled #chronic pain #ashton greymoore #critical role #critical role campaign 3 #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers

[andmyvape]

You know...

People talk about drugs like if you give someone who wants them whatever drug they're asking for in whatever amount they're asking for, they'll become hopelessly addicted and ruin their lives

Now I'm not arguing that addiction isn't fucking awful but I fervently believe those in the newer circles of rehabilitative care theory that are putting forward the idea that addiction, at its core, is self medication. Unregulated, self destructive self medication in too many cases, but it's not the drugs themselves in so many cases, huffing paint thinner and other examples not withstanding, but honestly I don't think people would do that if they had alternatives that ARE less damaging.

It's the pain and lack of support that drives so many people to alleviate their pain or stress which really is just pain too by numbing it with drugs. It helps, but they don't regulate, they don't find alternatives to cope with whatever they're medicating that lighten the need for the medication alone, their tolerance builds up, they don't know what they're medicating enough to know how to do that consciously and more safely...

It's a nightmare that is truly systemic, not some moral failing or some contagion inherent to the human spirit. I can't currently think of any example of an organism that wouldn't practice homeostasis when outside of whatever range of normal function they're supposed to be in. Not for some philosophical or spiritual reason, in this sense specifically it is purely biological, and I find it to be DEEPLY disturbing that so many people I encounter in my life INSIST that being in constant discomfort is somehow a state to aspire to and be proud of. Being able to safely handle exiting a space that would provide you homeostasis means being able to MAINTAIN that homeostasis when you go elsewhere or do other things. It's NOT about giving in to the idea that if you prefer to be comfortable that you are somehow weak or inferior. That is not a mark of strength, it's a mark of how damaged a person is.

Grandpa, stop ranting about my generation not wanting to be "triggered" you literally JUST threw a hissy fit because they didn't have your slim jims at the corner store and the cashier wouldn't give it to you for free. Your comfort is predicated on unfairly demanding behaviors from others that is not being reciprocated in a worthwhile way. I don't think that's more valid than my being upset that a man who claims to love me is more interested in mocking a caricature of a trans person that isn't actually me. But I digress

The point my adhd ass is making here is that I think I understand a bit more about what I've been arguing this entire time. Not that I didn't understand it at all before so much as that I've been given new depth. I have a pain condition, possibly multiple, have my entire life, and I have always been rather fixated on whatever would alleviate that pain. When Tylenol stopped working, I stopped using it. Eventually I found marijuana which has done me WONDERS but I've been dealing with worsening health issues due to various reasons and it's not quite doing enough. I had to be taken off all my meds because of a bad interaction and in the month before we start reintegrating meds that might help, my doctor gave me benadryl

Now, I've been taking benadryl on and off for years for anxiety and insomnia. I can't do it long, some toxicity issue I think? Or organ failure. Can't remember right now. The guideline is a two week limit, and I've found by the end of that two weeks it is very hard for me to get the effect I need without running into the 300mg daily cap. And the times I've taken it before it hasn't done much but make me sleep eventually and relax for a few hours

That has changed. Now when I take my benadryl, I can feel it kick in like God Herself just grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, total limpness, the anxiety isn't GONE but it's so much more manageable. The cessation of pain is so fucking nice, which I understand is a HUGE component of addiction outside of the direct chemical alterations over time becoming unpleasant or downright agonizing to reverse. Being so uncomfortable and having it relieved that quickly is amazing. It doesn't make the problem that is causing me the stress or pain go away, but it does give me clarity of mind that lets me take action to make my life better, for myself and my loved ones

Now here's the kicker for me. I HAVE taken benadryl before, but when I did, my conditions were so unmanaged that it just really did not do THIS much. And at that time, I very much required things that were stronger, for both pain and mental distress. I was given them after some hospitalizations, begrudgingly, and surprise of surprises it helped me. I started to improve. Pretty significantly. Years later, they started making me sick, thus the meds having to be changed now, and honestly I was TERRIFIED because I thought the benadryl wouldn't be enough, like it was before, and I'd spend a month in agony. I was so wrong yall

So here's what I think, in my amateurishly educated opinion: if they had just given me the medicine I was asking for instead of taking my agency away in denying my medication that could have helped but could also have consequences that they felt weren't worth the risk. Maybe they were, maybe there weren't, but... Shouldn't that have been my choice? And I did eventually get put on something stronger, which led to me having the strength and spoons and clarity I needed to make changes over time that have led to me being able to be helped by the benadryl now. They couldn't have just handed me a bottle of percocet at 14 and said "Good luck!" because YES that would have been it's own kind of damaging, but I have trouble with authority, and at least the damage would have been mine to cause. After all, it was my body

But... What they could have done, what research is proving again and again ACTUALLY works more than patriarchal denial of bodily autonomy on the basis of my supposed "inherently and deeply lacking ability to make choices for my own health," is just... Giving me the meds I asked for. Tell me the risks, help me manage the potential consequences, trust me to tell you when I feel sick instead of functional. To not just keep taking more and more of whatever drug that is helping me but you've decided I'm having FUN with, to the point that being denied the care I needed was damaging. If you had trusted me, I would have trusted you, and we could have made a plan that would have probably resulted in what's happened now, me finding that benadryl actually is enough now and crying in sheer joy that I've finally worked hard enough to get this far

But that would have implied that I have an ability and right to make decisions about how to take care of my own body, right?

This isn't a story that hasn't been experienced and shared so many times that it all paints a detailed and disturbing tapestry of how little bodily autonomy matters in this system. Too many demographics are judged as being "at risk for addiction" without the judgement being made by people who care that those demographics are at risk because of so fucking many social and systemic inequalities that leave so fucking many deprived of preventative, proactive care that would ultimately ease the burden of emergency care that has to be given once things get to a point considered "bad enough" and that's just... Not okay.

#Mental health #Chronic pain #Addiction #This is a broken system #Lack of emphasis on bodily autonomy is one of the cores of this festering boil #I'm gonna grab a giant needle and start stabbing #Who's with me?

[midnight-skylie]

This is my official request for Dead Boy Detectives prompts!

Preferably about Edwin and Charles. Especially more about Charles but not necessarily.

I just finished my fanfic and I'm desperate for new ideas, I want to keep writing about them.

Comments, ask box, and dm, are all open.

Any prompt would be appreciated🫶

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives prompts #charles x edwin #edwin x charles #edwin payne #edwin and charles #edwin paine #charles rowland #charles dead boy detectives #dead gay detectives #dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives netflix #the dead boy detectives #crystal palace #yeah I'll also expect prompts about her if there will be something good #i just love the boys so much #painland #paynland #payneland #emphasis on the pain

[shoxx]

vkei fans on twitter must be studied. something aint right there

#txt #i have never experienced parasocial bullshit to such a degree #i know it's to be expected in a scene that puts a lot of emphasis on bandman-fan interactions. but it's still quite weird idk #it still gets way weirder than it needs to be #i'm not perfect with this obviously but i like to keep that degree of separation between me and the bandmen i idolize #it should not be painful to acknowledge that for many of us we don't know these men personally and probably never will

[aria0fgold]

My brain's enrichment is my quest to mod any game I have cuz I'm bad at figuring things out at first and it took me 1 hour tryna get my sims 2 modded and I was lowkey losing my mind a lil.

#aria rants #all the sites i went to bout tutorials for it kept saying to go into mydocuments and then ea games folder and i was like: #wdym i dont have?! (i do. im just stupid. it took me 1 hour to get everythin right cuz i couldnt find the thing) #but finally... after a hour of pain... and headache inducing technical difficulties thanks to my stupidity... i got the mods working #i got the mods workin (emphasis cuz im finally freed) and now i can put cain and owen in sims 2 #while also murdering their character designs a lil bit cuz sims 2 is so funky with its character creations that its inevitable

[sludgeguzzler]

look i really dont mind having a pre t body with its little biological quirks but i have a limit and the limit is waking up at 4am with immense pain and a puddle of blood on my bed

#im probably most likely overhyping what t will do to my body but i cant wait till my periods stop #if they dont stop i will fr go after some way of stopping them im not kidding there is literally nothing good that i get from having them #its just. its just pain and blood and a constant reminder of how Woman i have to be. it makes me sad #like. all the good cramp medicine is like WOMAN PILL FOR YOUR SCHEDULED GIRL MOMENT OF THE MONTH [picture of a woman] #[venus symbol] [flowers] #and all pads come with th same thing too. like i get that its technically not harming anyone but please man cmon #my mood gets all janged up i cant think straight in the worst ways possible im always having breakdowns during them #and i have to deal with genuinely unbearable pain! and! a heavy flow! because my moms ovaries! are the most fucked ovaries ever! #hhg the only good thing i can think of is that if there was a death metal band of trans guys the lyrics theyd write would be sick #[hi this is me telling you im about to get a little gross so if stuff like this grosses you out uh. yeah] #like the gruesome symbolism of periods is pretty damn cool if im honest. i dunno #i genuinely really like the movements on normalizing periods and how they are not something to be ashamed of and happen with a lot of ppl #but. but. #it puts a lot of emphasis on how its a Woman thing when a lot of women (cis or otherwise) dont have them #and it excludes all the other non woman people who have them #re personal opinion but i think our image of periods really shouldnt be flowery beautiful woman moment that passes by in a blink. #i think we should talk about how it hurts and how it will suck a little too hard for some people and that #periods not always mean a symbol of feminity and fertility and other stuff (its 5am im tires) to everyone #like to me periods are misery and oain and dysphoria but i have a cis friend who sees her periods as symbols of her womanhood abd #*and like. shes not wrong but im also not wrong either #idk my head hurts and i wanna go bacm to sleep so bye #sg.txt

[iturbide]

I'm curious, what would your ideal FE be?

And do you have any particular FE concepts in mind?

So, fun fact: I actually talked about this a while back.

...and by 'a while back,' I mean 'five years ago,' because time is soup.

So because that's a heck of a lot longer than I remember and a lot changes in that amount of time, let's come at this fresh and see what changes and what doesn't.

So I still really want to keep the lead character concept: dual sword/mage older sister and priest younger brother (with natural promotion to dual healer/mage) is a nice shift on the usual Fire Emblem formula, where we rarely see female Lords in the lead who are set to inherit the throne or male healers (and I can't recall the last time one was a prince, barring Brady with Chrom as his father and I guess Forrest though he's not in the immediate line of succession since he's Siegbert's cousin meaning Xander and Siegbert would need to be removed from the equation before he'd be in line for the throne but since Leo's a prince I think that technically akes him one too and now I'm just going down a rabbit hole of technicalities).

Intro/tutorial would be fairly run-of-the-mill, border skirmish type thing against a small incursion from a neighboring nation and going out to take care of it. But something I think would be fascinating is an expansion on the usual mid-battle recruitment and the option to spare foes that we saw at times in Three Houses: I want every main chapter enemy to have a name and unique portrait. I want there to be a frankly ridiculous number of characters who could theoretically be recruited depending on who approaches them, and I want every enemy to have an option to spare them even if they're not recruited.

Think of it: you go into battle and you see that every enemy is an individual. Every enemy is someone you can engage with. And you can approach any one of them with any of your units and talk to them. As you play, you start to get to know the different personalities of your units: someone may have a kind and gentle approach that's more likely to convince someone who's not exactly keen on fighting -- but that same approach might get steamrolled over by another person that's more set in their ways. Conversely, one of your units might be blunt and straightforward, and could butt heads in a constructive way with someone like that, but whose approach would scare off a more timid foe. Maybe approaching another unit with a character just recruited in the same battle can be helpful -- one of them bringing a friend or close ally over, because they don't want to hurt each other -- or maybe it can backfire spectacularly, with the enemy unit accusing your new ally of stabbing his comrades in the back, which shuts down all attempts at conversation.

It could be an interesting risk/reward system that encourages getting familiar with your various units beyond just their mechanical strengths and weaknesses: knowing their personalities and being able to employ them to take enemies off the field and bloodlessly thin the ranks could be a lot of fun -- plus, it's something that's not required. You don't have to try and bring them to your side -- you can breeze past those little dialogue snippets and just take them out if you want. And at the end of combat, if they weren't recruited, you have an option to spare them or kill them. If you spare them, you might see them again in another battle, and maybe they'll remember you: maybe you'll have another chance to recruit them, and more success the second time around because your actions challenged their preconceived notions about you. If you kill them, though, you might run into someone else later on -- a sibling, a relative, a friend -- who can't be reached at all because their quest is one of vengeance against the one that murdered someone they loved.

And then: what if that built into Supports. What if recruiting units off the battlefield had long-running effects based on how that unit was used? If someone was initially hesitant to join you, and then you bench them permanently, maybe they desert your force after a while because they felt isolated and lacked any kind of community since no work had been done building a new support network for them. Maybe someone else was a little too eager to join based on their impression of your army, and if you build out their Supports it becomes clear that their character has goals that are entirely at odds with the main characters' -- but because those Supports also gave them an understanding of the disconnect, they end up betraying you at some point to get what they want. Recruitment becomes a mechanic that needs to be considered, rather than just a 'collect them all' thing, because indiscriminate recruiting can backfire on you down the road.

With that many characters, of course, it would be completely insane to have all of them as combat units -- so what if some recruits unlock camp options. Maybe they're hesitant to fight against their own people directly, but they want to help and learn more about your force, so they offer non-combat skills: cooking, hunting, fishing, foraging, various sorts of combat/weaponry training, medical aid, merchant services. Similar to Three Houses monastery activities, you can pick a couple of combat units and send them to do different tasks that help keep your forces in fighting shape, building support bonds and learning things about the non-combat units in the process.

One thing I definitely want to see though is a reversal on the stereotypical Divine Dragon and Evil Dragon dichotomy. I want the main characters to talk about their Divine with absolute reverence, I want them to refer to their Divine as their protector and guardian, I want them to make their Divine out to be so kind and compassionate -- and then at some point deep in the game, I want it revealed that their Divine is the one that's seen as that world's Ultimate Evil. I want their Divine to look incredibly daunting, too, big and dark and toothy and terrifying -- but the main characters have nothing but respect for it, and it's eventually proven (maybe through calling it for aid against the threat of the neighboring nation's Divine) that their faith is not misplaced nor mistaken, and their Divine is everything they claim it is.

I still really like the split narrative concept, too, with the two siblings having different stories and different objectives: the kidnapped brother would likely have missions emphasizing escape or endurance (which takes advantage of his status as a healer), while the questing sister would have more objectives to rout an enemy or defeat a particular foe. Odds are that the narrative would begin with a single straightforward story, then split at the kidnapping, and only join together again at the very end before the closing chapters (so you could bring your favorites from both sides of the story to the final confrontation, but wouldn't get all the out of battle/camp stuff).

And above all: I wouldn't want it to be a story that ends with unification under a single banner. A lot of Fire Emblem games have this as their 'ideal' final state, and that's just never worked for me. I would want every nation to remain independent -- maybe with more connections, an openness to diplomatic discussion and free trade, possibly some leadership changes -- rather than having one country dissolved into another.

#answered #unsuspecting-person #extra fun fact: this has been in my inbox for weeks #because i was sure i'd talked about something like this before #i just couldn't remember when or where #it took me this long to find it #because again: five years is a really long time #because of the heavy emphasis on support building #the system for building support points would need tweaking #so that it's not a pain to achieve like it is in engage #pair up/adjutants and out of battle activities are a must #also the open recruitment/unique character stuff #would have to be main story only #skirmishes would be way too much to manage #maybe there would be one specific skirmish recruit #a merchant or something #but most skirmishes would be against puppets/constructs #for more incidental things: only one gen and no timeskip #the thing about character diversity and sensible armor stands #and way more support options #romantic platonic all kinds of rivalries from friendly to bitter #i want it all #this is way too complicated for a fire emblem #but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it a lot #i already have part of a character roster #because of course i do

[hussyknee]

My bathroom and bedroom are absolutely filthy and I'm too sick clean. Wanna die.

#i'm a person who's compulsively clean and neat. emphasis on the compulsive #but more often than not Im too fatigued or in pain or depressed to clean and tidy so I have to live in filth and mess like a pig #it's so distressing i could disassociate #i fucking hate being sick so much. i hate my lumbering body that my back can't keep upright and working without going into agony #i hate my foggy mind and ADHD and how hard it is to be present and clear-headed enough to problem solve

[crossbackpoke-check]

Willingly [abridged], originally by Tess Gallagher (Amplitude: New and Selected Poems, 1987)

#i have been plagued by this enough that i actually searched to see if i could find a post of it to reblog but it doesn’t exist so here is #my brain waves at ???? from ???? days ago where i just wrote down the draft ‘ajax jack willingly tess gallagher’ in my tumblr & called it ok #when ever the everybody straight until the narrative foil walks in post was going around: carbon dating my drafts by that this is around it #paging but not quite paging brockachu & drartemysia bc ajax jack is theirs but i’m obsessed with it every smidgen #and then i also had to remember that the other half of this poem was my superbuddies seattle heartbreak poem & i had to color code & include #more of the poem than i meant but do an amended version but also write all over it bc i reference this poem a lot in the context of hockey #like i think i talk about it with the caterpillar & the chrysalis too bc of the idea that you are giving up permission of your body #i fully well know this is the poem that i had my ‘red is seattle blue’ twitter thread breakdown about & various a drop of light a chip on #your shoulder the ache passing through superbuddies trade tag emotions about & then also the joyful reunion because it was too terrible #had another poem i was maybe going to web weave with but forgot it in the process of making this :/ frustrating #maybe there is a force that breaks the body diane seuss but just by-product is pain/embrace—divest then sing #not hockey hockey poetry titles #the way i feel unspeakable about where you place the emphasis on think #strangers ‘verse for the dream i could not carry // ‘not remembering’ #ajax jack