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yellowbunnydreams · 4 months

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The Blood Runs Thicker (part 14) ~vampire!William Afton x F! Reader~

~*Zombie noises as I crawl from the Christmas grave and back into university*~

Tag-List; @ruh--roh-raggy @randymeeksisafinalgirl @sleepy---head @robin-the-enby @hungrhay @likoplays @slxsher-whxre @nicolezghostz @spiderlilytengu

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Want more or something different? *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

CW:Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), Female Reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 50's), graphic acts of violence, biting, knife-play, blood, blood-drinking/licking, mention of dead children, anaemia. Mentions of torture. Drama. Possessive behaviour. Very, very heavy smut. Cunnilingus, fingering, riding, mating press.

William pinned you so easily, barely using any strength behind his grip as he felt the already slick fabric of his pants become damper with your friction against his thick thigh, breaking the kiss as he grabbed your wrists and chuckled as you yelped when he wrenched them behind your back, forcing your back to arch into his chest as his head settled into the crook of your neck. Muffling his ragged breath with the warmth against your skin.

His free hand moved up onto one thigh, stroking the warm skin, pausing at the knot of scar tissue he had made before continuing, slipping his rough fingers under the hem of his shirt on your body and groping at your hip, slowing the roll of your hips against his as he planted soft kisses against the delicate skin and fluttering pulse.

Your fingers strained to touch him, touch anything as your heat burned against his thigh, the warmth of his breath against your neck making little whimpers of desperation fall from your lips. Some might have called you a monster for enjoying a murderer in the way you were, but you didn't care. If this was the punishment you received for leading a life to it's end, then you were all too happy to lead more astray and bow your head to the dark. Legs trembling either side of his thigh, you tipped your head back in pleasure as you felt a small knot of pleasure building in your stomach, trembling in his iron grip. There was no doubt that you were at his mercy.

Cold air hit your skin all too fast as it took you a second to register the sound of ripping fabric, gasping as you felt all too hot and freezing all at once as William balled up what was left of his t-shirt and threw it somewhere into the room. His silver eyes scanned you hungrily, drawing lazy lines across your body, watching your chest rise and fall with each shaking breath, the faint flutter of your heart visible above your left breast. He twisted his body to lay you across the bed, his predatory eyes never leaving your body before his hands rested on your thighs, squeezing them tightly as a wicked smile crossed his face.

Your brow furrowed as he planted nipping kisses across your neck and collarbones, kissing down the valley of your sternum and then over each breast, gasping loudly as his teeth found your nipple, biting at the sensitive bud as his thick fingers pushed into your dripping pussy, making your back arch into him as he set a brutal pace after only a short pause to let you adjust to him. His hips rocked against the air slightly as he felt your slick walls clenching around his fingers, the burning heat to rival his own, the lewd sound of him moving your slickness meeting his ears like music as he let out a possessive growl. Making sure that the nipple in his mouth was thoroughly tender and paid attention to before he moved onto the other, eliciting another sweet moan.

William Afton, even in un-life, could never get enough of hearing the sweet noises people made. But this was the best sound he had encountered since his transformation, and he wanted more of it. More of you.

The knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter as he spread your sensitive walls, only worsened as he used his thumb to bump the sensitive nub of your clit with each curling motion of his fingers, as his trying to meet his fingertips through your body. A whimper of disappointment left your body as he removed them though, and your eyes finally wandered to his smug expression as he sat back on his heels, the bed groaning in protest beneath you as he seemed to inspect the mess you made under the low light before he slowly pushed the digits into his mouth. Moaning loudly as he tasted you against his skin, your cheeks heating up as you watched him clean you off of him with his tongue before his eyes opened again, pupils blown out as smirked at you.

"If I'd realised that something this sweet was in my bed this whole time," he growled, the low tone raising the hair on the back of your neck as you found your gaze glued to him, watching as he practically ripped off his t-shirt and threw in somewhere else. "I might have helped myself sooner."

His broad chest as lined with pink scars, silvery sheen to the new skin as his chest rose and fell with the deep breaths he was taking. The dark hair smattered across his chest tinted with a little grey as your eyes naturally wandered down his body, following the trail across his stomach and following where you imagined it led to as the waistband of his pants got in the way. William chuckled as he realised where you were looking, palming the tent in his pants as your cheeks heated up, looking down at you on display for him.

"You'll get your taste soon enough bunny, I'm not done with you yet."

For a man of his age and stature, such fluid movements shouldn't have been natural, but they were somehow and you found yourself reminded of a big-cat as he hooked his arms around the backs of your thighs, rough fingertips biting into your hips as his tongue licked a stripe up your folds. A drawn out moan escaping you as your hand instinctually moved into his hair, holding him loosely as he hummed against your sensitive skin. Long tongue continuing it's path as he repeatedly warmed your already slick folds with his tongue, making sure to catch your pearl with each motion with the tip of his tongue, enjoying far too much the way that your body jolted with pleasure beneath his ministrations.

With almost feverish abandon, his tongue pressed between your folds and opened your walls for him, making you moan more as his grip on your hips forced your back to arch for him. Wincing as his nails left crescents in your supple skin, matching the bruises he was sure to leave behind as his tongue invaded you. The vibration of his moans moving through his tongue and into you, stoking the fire inside as your fingers curled tighter into his hair, holding William closer as he managed to locate the soft, spongey texture inside where your eyes rolled back and breathing hitch rapidly, only serving to encourage the vampire further as he pressed further into your body. Fangs pressing against your skin and sending a jolt through your body.

The knot wound tighter and tighter, sure that your wetness was spreading over William's lips and into the slightly burning stubble as it rubbed against the inside of your thighs, breathing hard and fast as you chased your high, whimpering William's name as his tongue was joined by one of his thick fingers, focusing on your swollen clit as he used his digits to stretch you open for him. Focused intently on the spots that elicited the whimpers and moans, chasing your high for you.

Coming undone on William's fingers were all too easy, shaking and pulling him close as his name fell from your lips in a prayer-like chant, a thought that amused him greatly as he listened to your pulse pounding through the arteries either side of his head. How easily he would be able to rip life from you in that moment, so vulnerable and weak from your intense orgasm. There was a reason the French name for it translated to 'the little death' after all.

He kept his fingers lazily moving inside you, stroking your clenching, soaked walls as he sat up slightly, licking his lips and your slick off of his face. The smell of you, your taste filled his senses and overwhelmed them as the symphony of your overstimulation filled his ears. Squirming, releasing his hair and gripping the sheets below you as you gazed up at him, eyes welling up with tears as your body tried to squirm away from the pleasure still being forced onto your body, William's predatory grin in the low light sending shivers down to your core.

"William..." You breathed, eliciting a low growl of approval from the man as he slowly pulled his fingers from your trembling body, admiring how your arousal coated them before he reached into his pants, clearly stroking himself under the material and denying you the pleasure of watching him. His breathing turning ragged as his silvery eyes became half-lidded, biting at his own lip for a change as his free hand moved to brush through his salt and pepper hair. Muscles flexing just under the scarred skin.

"Am I going to have to undress myself bunny, or are you going to continue being good for me and touch me?" Voice gravelly and low, dangerous. Full of barely contained nature that could so easily consume you.

You nodded eagerly, shakily bringing yourself onto your knees and trembling fingers struggling with the button and zip of his pants, especially as he continued to stroke himself beneath the taunt material. His breath stirring your hair as your focused on the task before your, roughly shoving them down his hips and your fingers finding the pink scars on his thighs naturally. Raising an eyebrow as William sharply breathed in, his eyes fluttering slightly as you looked up at him. It was your turn to smirk at him, pressing a little closer and letting your stomach brush against his tip, bringing the vampire a small shiver as your warmth was so close to his almost naked body.

"Does it hurt?" You asked, voice laden with lust and watching his gaze turn back to you, lip curling into an animalistic snarl as one hand moved across from his hip, wrapping around his thick, hard cock and replacing his own rough fingers. The softness of your touch, fluttering and light, his cock slicked with your arousal and his own pre-cum making him feel as if his control was slipping more and more by the second. The other touch on his hip pressing and stroking over the sensitive new skin that made your touch feel like it was a deliciously burning fire through him, breathing heavy and ragged as he tried to restrain himself.

"The only thing that hurts right now, little bunny, is how fucking hard I am." he growled, his large hand slowly tracing up the curve of your spine before grabbing the back of your head roughly, making you gasp as you were forced down, no time to breathe and barely enough to brace yourself against his thighs as William shoved his cock into your mouth.

Afton moaned loudly above you, his head tipping back as his hips bucked into your warm mouth. The plush lips wrapped around his shaft felt heavenly, and your tongue exploring him sent spasms of pleasure through his large body. Barely listening to the chokes and slight gags from your smaller, frailer body as he allowed his control to slip slightly, fucking into your mouth with a tight grip on your head, his free hand running back over the curve of your back, rough fingers kneading the flesh of your ass as you struggled to take all of him so suddenly into your mouth. Your soft, muffled, whimpering moans sending tiny vibrations through him and driving him even crazier.

But as sinful and heavenly as your mouth felt, just as you grew used to his taste, the saltiness of his precum coating your tongue as you were pulled free. Silvery strands of saliva connecting his throbbing cock to your puffy lips as he snarled and pressed you back into the mattress, making your yelp as your head was wrenched back and leaving your neck exposed as William crawled ontop of your body. Reaching between you and pressing his cock between your folds, making you whimper and moan as he rutted against you, his tip bumping into your sensitive clit as he used your own arousal as lube to thrust against you. If the image wasn't so ridiculous with a predator about to fuck you, you would have thought of his wild eagerness more like a teenager desperate to fuck his prom-date.

Though all thoughts were quickly wiped from your mind as William roughly shoved his cock into your gummy walls, making your back arch. Your hands finding his back and scratching over the sensitive springlock scars, making William growl as he slowly sunk himself into you, panting with pupils blown out as he looked down at you, the arm supporting his weight by your head trembling slightly with the effort to keep himself above you and not crush you under his larger frame as he hilted himself in your pussy. You could feel how much he throbbed inside of you already, how your walls tugged against him tightly as he rolled his hips into you and felt his tip bumping into your cervix.

"Fuck." He breathed, biting his lip before closed his eyes and hung his head slightly, breathing hard but deeply as he held himself as deeply inside you, trying to reign himself back in as to not break you. "Bunny, I...I'm not sure I am going to last all that long with how you're squeezing me." A dark chuckle falling from him as he managed to bring himself to look at you again, meeting your half-lidded gaze as he held your head back, able to see how your pulse throbbed under the thin skin of your neck, how pleasure had dilated your eyes and turned them into inky, carnal pools.

"Y-You going to give out already, old man?" You teased, earning a growl and a sharp tug on the back of your head as he slowly lowered himself to your body, making you whimper as he stretching you out, somehow cramming more of himself inside of you as his lips skimmed over your neck. Breath burning against you as he brushed his lips against your ear, whispering softly into the shell before his long tongue licked over it and sent a shiver through your body.

"Old man? And here I thought we were being civil, bunny...One might even say I was considering calling you a lover. MY good girl." Thrusting into you sharply and making you gasp as he bumped into you, slowly dragging his length back out of your trembling body, as if threatening to withdraw completely and stop giving you pleasure. Threatening to retie the knot in your stomach, the fire stoked under your skin as you whimpered.

"I'm sorry William, I-I didn't mean....mean to...please don't..." You managed to gasp out, breathing hard and fast as he paused, leaving his tip barely inside your tight, clenching walls. Your body begging him not to leave, to continue stretching and filling you.

"Now that isn't quite a proper apology, is it?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Afton, sir." you breathed, although your regretted it as any breath was knocked from you as William smirked down at you and slammed his hips against yours, hilting himself once more into his prize as his strong arms wrapped around you, holding you close as he rutted into you. Moaning into your ear before his lips found your neck, planting soft, nipping kisses there.

"Good girl. You're mine, bunny. You hear me? Or am I going to fuck you dumb and have to teach you this again?" He asked, though he grinned against you as only his name fell from your lips, mixed in with heavy moans and the sound of shaking, unstable breaths as he claimed you.

The feeling of William stretching your pussy around his thick cock was almost painful, but the pleasure took over your mind and left you gasping as your eyes rolled back into your skull. The lewd sound of him slicking in and out of your wetness filling the room and mixing with your combined moans, your fingers pressing into and scratching at his back, feeling the muscles flex and strain as he fucked you into the motel mattress.

His fangs found your neck, digging in quickly and moaning against your skin as he left your reeling, body shaking as the knot in your stomach tightened again, his fast, deep thrusts hitting all the spots inside you that made you see stars as he sucked on your neck. You swore his teeth scraped against your skin, trying to give you a hickey despite the fact you could feel small pearls of your own blood run from between his lips and down over your shoulder, staining the bedsheet beneath you.

William picked up his pace, feeling how your pussy tightened around him, how hard he was throbbing inside of you already. There was part of him that was glad he was as he was, allowing him a small modicum of control compared to when he had been fully human, although even in his mortality, William Afton had been a very controlled and measured man in most aspects of his life.

The taste of you on his tongue was heady and nothing that he had had before, but something he craved more of whenever he would get the chance. Iron, musk. Blood and sex and salt as your skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat as he fucked your delicate body. The feeling of your fingers pressing into and touching his back and the scars of the springlocks sending pleasurable shivers through his body, encouraging him to fuck you faster as the force of his hips smacking into yours with the lewd sound of wetness and skin on skin filling the small space and cloying air forcing your legs to raise and hang over his hips. There was part of him that wondered how you'd enjoy feeling him fill you in the mating-press, whether he would even be able to fufill its purpose and there was that dark and twisted part of him, the animalistic side of him that wanted to test it over and over again.

"W-William, sir, I...I'm going to-" A sharp gasp cut through his wandering thoughts, growling against your skin as he rutted into you harder, releasing his grip on your back and your neck and head. Watching the crimson streak against your skin, blooming on the white pillowcase behind your head, hair messily sprawled across it as he snarled. His large hands planting on the back of your thighs and pressing them towards your head, making you gasp and whine as he seemed to plunge deeper into your body. Eyes rolling back and body shaking as your hands relegated themselves to the sheets, unable to focus as your orgasm crept closer and closer as the man above you snapped his hips to yours with an almost animalistic pace.

"Cum for me," He demanded, his forehead wet with effort and focused on watching your expressions and his cock plunging into your depths, angling his hips so that he could hit the spots that made your body spasm and whimper with ecstasy. "Let me fill you up, little bunny."

He growled demands snapped the burning knot in your abdomen, a breathless scream escaping you as your back arched severely. Body spasming and clenching around William, feeling him throb as he fucked you harder through your orgasm, making you see stars and the edges of your vision turn white before he pressed his full weight into you. Growling your name through gritted teeth as he hilted himself inside of you, throbbing hard as he unloaded thick, hot seed deep inside against your bruised and batterer cervix. Hissing, shaking breaths escaping through your gritted teeth, as he felt himself filling you, being milked desperately by your body as your second orgasm ripped through you.

The sudden silence in the room, apart from both your laboured breathing, almost left a ringing in your ears. William being the first to move as he moved his hands from your thighs, wincing slightly although feeling a pang of pride as he saw the fingertip shaped bruises across your delicate skin, planting soft kisses there before he lowered your legs slowly. Feeling how they shook as he lowered himself to you again, remaining inside as he wrapped his arms around you once more, licking up the side of your neck to clean you up and leaving you whimpering softly in the overstimulation of two orgasms and the heady bloodloss.

"You did so good for me bunny...But make an old-man comment like that again and I'll teach you the lesson you deserve." Chuckling darkly as he kissed up your neck and cradled your to him, letting you feel the heat and careful weight of his body as you trembled beneath him.

"I...If that's punishment.. you can punish me anytime." Giggling as he brushed his lips against yours and planted an almost tender kiss there. His grey eyes crinkling slightly as he grinned wickedly.

"Oh, that was far from punishment. That was part of your reward for being such a good little thing for me."

"Part of?"

"I'm more than mortal, bunny," he replied, looking at your raised eyebrow and smiling as he kissed you again, feeling how your lips trembled under his with a sense of primal satisfaction. " and as long as you're good, I plan on giving you far, far more than what we did here."

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Can't it be both?"

He remained curled around you as exhaustion hit you, eyes fluttering shut as William buried his face into your neck, breath washing over your skin and his body keeping you warm. Wrapped up in strong arms, knowing that somebody was dead was because of you, and somehow knowing that it was the safest place in the world in that moment in time.

You hoped he wouldn't tired of your own mortality, at least not yet.

#william afton #springtrap #william afton x reader #steve raglan #fnaf movie #steve raglan x reader #springtrap x reader #william afton smut #william afton x you #fnaf x reader #vampire william afton

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cassiopeiacorvus · 3 months

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Playchoices MCs - Part 10

Previous | Next

artist notes under the cut

Aaliyah Perkins (UT) | Y'know my first playthrough I kinda hated the fancy cowboy outfits, but they grew on me so here's Aaliyah in an outfit she would never actually wear to work on the ranch. She was peak Horsegirl™️growing up and not much has changed.

Iolanda Julivert (TPS) | I wasn't actually sure if the princess in TPS counted as an MC, but hell, she has a love interest and you spend half the story as her so I'm counting it. She gives a lot of Leo energy. They would definitely party together if they weren't so separated by age.

Yasmin Delaney (TPS) | The historian to her sister's party princess. She would obviously be the Liam to Iolanda's Leo. I'd like to think she went on to get a PhD in history after the events of TPS, because hey, who says you can't be a princess and a doctor?

Lysander (TCH) | We're gonna call the back half of this list The Rise of the Enbies. Starting with Lysander. I love a character who chooses to be kind especially when it's hard, so they had my heart from the start. And I made the Midsummer Night's Dream reference before TCH did in Book 1.

Zola Saunders (IM) | Goes on my list of characters who are 100% done 100% of the time. She was born not giving a fuck, she died not giving a fuck, and now she's gonna not give a fuck as a vampire.

Kira Stone (MAH) | I hate that they have a default name. Yeah they made them go by a middle name, but you try coming up with a name that goes with Valentine, Stone, and jives with the fact that they're sister is named Perdita. I wanted to do a Shakespeare reference, but I couldn't make it work. Anyway, Kira definitely goes on to be a private investigator because they couldn't see themselves as anything else.

#playchoices #untameable #the princess swap #the cursed heart #immortal desires #murder at homecoming #cassiopeiacorvus draws #cassi originals

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wrotelovelytears · 2 years

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If Astrology is Real..

yep I lied... sorta

♨The degree of your ascendant is the age in which you act the most like the sign. You might also physically embody the sign that rules that degree the most then, or start to do so.

♨Pisces with Aquarius placements say the most out of pocket things and come up with the most creative explanations/ insults.

♨Libras with Virgo placements care a lot about appearances, in a more muted and blending in way.

♨6th house Pisces have the wildest everyday experiences. They also have some very strong protection, even if they are a bit... Ditzy when it comes to trusting others

♨Scorpios with Libra placements can be some of the most openly expressive people when it comes to love.

♨12h house Leos (Virgo Risings) take everything personal. Like every time they called out its seen as them having a personal flaw that needs to be corrected. They will end up seeking reassurance that they aren't said flaw and try to consciously reject it while subconsciously embodying it due to focusing on it so much.

♨I know people say Taurus placements hate drama, in reality they hate to BE in drama. They love all the messy stories and gossip however.

♨I'd argue that Taureans have more of a tendency to try to organize everything in their life more than Caps or Virgos. The second house is the house of self worth, so the more you can control the "higher" your self worth feels.

🕳That does mean they struggle a lot with the idea of letting go, it implies they can't control everything and have to simply let it go✨

♨Taurus women definitely the folks that had a "I hate pink👀" phase just to later admit they didn't want to get bullied for liking it when they were younger. (Of course this applies to Taurus men and enbies as well, I highlighted women because they easily fall victim to misogyny (internalized and other).

♨Sorry, imma say it. Sagittarius women have a high tendency to be very misogynistic. Like they all about women empowerment in terms of "I'm better than xyz" "Down with the Patriarchy" and "women should be in the same positions of power as men (regardless if said position is harmful for the masses)". Yet they view other women as competition for the spots they want, and will easily drag another woman for something they wouldn't want another to say about them.

Example... Nicki M

♨Bout to air out my fellow Scorpios. Its not healthy to defend your partner/ ex when you hear someone talking about their behaviors, when you know damn well you dragged them for the same shit. Stop defending stuff you don't like about someone you (did) like because only you can drag them.

~These next couple of observations shouldn't be used to diagnose anyone or yourself. If you believe that you or someone you know fits in any of these categories, please seek out professional help. And know you (and them) aren't alone~

♨Almost every single person I've known with Scorpio in their big three/ Venus has had a cluster B personality disorder(ASPD- psychopathy/sociopath, NPD- narcissist, BPD- borderline, HPD- histrionic) and/or some other form of Neurodivergence (typically ADHD or Autism, some were Bipolar or another personality disorder cluster).

♨Speaking of Neurodivergence, almost every Sagittarius placement ive known has had what most people think of when mentioning ND (Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, tuorettes ). It was especially prominent in those with Virgo/6th house placements.

♨Pisces and 12th housers might actually deny getting help. They would acknowledge there is a problem and even speak on how much it impacts their lives, and then say they don't want to go to therapy or a psychiatrist. Its not that they don't believe in the mental health field, its more of a unconscious fear of being judged or mistreated due to their differences. (Might have also actually sought out help in the past just to be misled or belittled)

♨Gemini can be linked to dysgraphia, dyscalica, dyslexia etc.

🕳Gemini rules over communication, hands and short term/ quick thoughts. Due to that people with certain planets or even Gemini ruled have a higher chance of having one of the above.

🕳The third house having certain placements as well. (Saturn with restricting, Neptune with confusion and the Sun with ego)

♨Pisces/12th house could be looked at in terms of Body dysmorphia. The reason being is the 12th house is linked to the subconscious as well as that which is hidden from us. While Pisces is linked to illusions and fantasy. Having a heavy concentration of either could lead to certain thoughts about oneself. The house Pisces is in could show the area in which BDD is had.

♨Martians (Scorpios and Aries) need to keep their mental health in check. Aries starts to suffer from headaches, migraines and vision problems related to stress. While Scorpios suffer from reproductive organ issues (endometriosis, PCOS, erectile dysfunction etc) as well as increased bladder infections + hemorrhoids.

🕳Both these signs have a tendency to internalize stress (yes, even the imma punch you Aries), and their body suffers until they release it (healthily).

♨People with heavy Venusian (Taurus and/or Libra) traits need to look out in terms of stress experienced via relationships. When they get too stressed it starts to effect their metabolism. Higher lactic acid (leg cramp juice) and higher cortisone (stress juice) can lead to thyroid problems and bladder issues (infections galore).

♨Capricorns, while being known for good bone health are probably suffering due to Pluto being in Cap right now.

🕳Pluto being the planet of extremes means folks are pushing themselves further or just having some bad health in terms of their bones.

🕳The house Capricorn is in can hint to what bones are more effected during this time. (Check both your current Solar return and Natal chart)

🕳12th~feet and ankles, they probably hate you right now. In fact you should probably invest in some better shoes/see a podiatrist

🕳2nd~ your neck/ upper spine... invest in a neck pillow

🕳5th~ your spine and ribs, be careful while lifting things and sitting certain ways. Back pillows will be your best friend

♨Libras have a higher chance of being constipated (having IBS-C) while Virgos have a higher chance of diarrhea (having IBS-D).

🕳Libras also need to be careful in terms of hemorrhoids, reverse anus (please don't google this, if you do that's ya own fault hardheaded), and colon issues.

🕳Virgos need to be careful with dairy (the amount of lactose intolerant Virgos 🥴), gluten and any allergies they have because their guts (and ass) will definitely suffer if not.

♨Yet another point on Virgos... High stress leads to bad gut health. Bad gut health leads to bad mental health. The guts and mind are connected, please look out for both.

Any who... Err I am not "back" per say. I've just decided that its always going to be more important to take care of my physical and mental wellbeing. That does mean even when I like something I can't just push myself. I'm still healing from my surgeries and whatnot, yet being not able to walk around much has made my brain go on overdrive. So that three second "break" I took still applies. I'm just not going to be dramatic or whatever bout it anymore.

And no my readings are NOT open. At least not for now.

(If you learned something new or would just like to support me you can leave a wittle tip via the tip button or one of the links in my masterlist. Kofi: nymphdreams🧸)

#nymph writes astrology #astrology #astroblr #astro tumblr #astrology observations #astro notes #astro observations #astrology tumblr #health astrology #scorpio #pisces #aquarius #libra #virgo #taurus

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racharii · 1 month

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coming from an enby whos tme (tho i myself am not transmasc), i feel like a lot of transmasc people are doing this "have their cake and eat it too" thing where they want to be perceived as men or men adjacent, in our society a part of the oppressor class, while also still wanting to benefit from structures meant to protect against said class. specifically ones that have been set up in queer spaces. ive met quite a few trans men who were just as vehemently misogynysitic as your average dude bro. and (this is speculation based on convos ive had with trans men im not in every transmascs head) a lot of transmascs have a lot of internalized misogyny that they project onto trans women. ive had an irl ex friend of mine say something that i think encapsulates this particular issue fairly well. this was like 8 years ago, we were talking about trans rep in media (specifically orange is the new black iirc) so im paraphrasing; 'its messed up that we (afabs in this context) are sidelined for people who used to be men, we cant escape the patriarchy.' that was horribly transmisogynistic, so lets unpack it.

it assumes that trans women are just men

it assumes sex essentialism, that they and i were just women. that we were just poor Females having 'our space' encroached on by mean 'former men.'

im not saying that all transmascs think like this ofc. #notallmen. im saying that some do, and enough transmascs have internalized misogyny and not enough self reflection.

just because you are trans doesnt mean you are immune to bigotry and recouping oppressive structures. none of us are free of Sin™️. you as an individual have to make an effort to reflect on your thoughts and actions and how they might affect yourself and others, so that you are not a willing participant of our communities oppression.

for example, ive talked a lot privately about my journey to being a better person, (and pobodies nerfect, its always a learning process, you always will have things you can improve on. and thats okay, were all just human) i initially hated it/its pronouns. 'it' gave me the ick. i was called 'it' as a kid incessantly to make fun of my gender presentation, i couldnt fathom someone else finding peace and even euphoria in using it/its. i bought into the conservative talking points about neopronouns and it/its being detrimental to the trans community. they were "the bad transes" and me? well i use they/them but shakespeare used the singular they so im fine :), im one of the good ones. then one day, i was listening to some video essay idr what or who, but something they said stuck with me, "if it/its makes me happy, why do you care? how does 'it' hurt you really?" my trauma is not everyones trauma, people will find comfort in things that i wont, and thats okay. 'it' hurt me when i was young, by cruel kids and uncaring adults. why am i hurting my community, my fellow transes, by continuing to deny them their autonomy to identify how they like? so i got over 'it.' i saw the real harm was the fucking wedge being driven between us by conservative grifters trying to pick off the weakest in the herd before they go in for the rest of us.

visibility isnt necessarily a good thing for marginalized people. transfemmes are the biggest target of hate in our community atm. they unfortunately serve as the canary. global fascism is on the rise and to be frank, a targeted hate campaign against a trans woman is asking for her to be killed. outed, paraded as a freak, doxxed, swatted, killed. protect trans women, fascism doesnt stop with one group nor will you be saved by being "one of the good ones." trans solidarity, even the people you dont like, even if you think theyre icky or gross or whatever the fuck else you do Not give up trans solidarity. you dont make callout posts, you dont send death threats, you dont send hate mail, if you dont like someone Block Them and move on.

we stand together or we will be eradicated.

#sorry this turned into a rant about impending fascism #but its all connected #rach rants #real cut a liberal a fascist bleeds vibes here recently #also im not proof reading this so sorry for typos #trans

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hwatermelons · 10 months

Text

seonghwa ⋆ salt water

⋆ i raise you 1 hwa to soothe your worries about your appearance. plus a beach date, turtles, and cuddling in your room ^^ ⋆ 1.0k words ⋆ bf!seonghwa x gn!reader ⋆ fluff/comfort/a little angst ⋆ warnings: unspecified body/facial image insecurities (tried to make it as general as possible). imagining other people's negative thoughts about the way you look. one kiss in public mentioned. in private, some chaste kisses on the lips and more on your face. mentions that the reader wore a modest swimsuit (up to the reader's definition of modest). ⋆ a/n: to all my gorgeous girls, beautiful boys, and enby hotties who aren't feeling the best about their appearance right this moment. me too. but you're more than your packaging, you're a whole gift. i don't take second opinions, and neither does seonghwa >:) ⋆ now playing: <the marías - cariño>

╭──────────────────────────.★..─╮ there's no better feeling than seonghwa's fingertips on your scalp as he delicately combs an organic styling gel through your hair, still damp from the shower. you lay on your shared bed with your head in his lap while scrolling through the photos of today's beach date. you two had had a lot of fun splashing around in the water, eating colorful ice cream and taking pictures. but most importantly, you'd felt confident in your own skin for a change. desirable, even. like you were good enough to stand next to seonghwa and he'd feel proud of being with you.

but these pictures...you couldn't believe you'd walked around the whole day, in that outfit, letting yourself look like that in public. it made you feel sorry for your boyfriend. how could he be seen with someone who so distinctly contrasted him like this? you weren't sure if you were imagining it, but in retrospect, maybe you were too distracted to hear the whispers of the other people at the beach. whispers that people like you shouldn't bother wearing something as bold as a swimsuit, even if it could be considered modest for one. that the man next to you was gorgeous, and was he single? and when he held your face in his hands and kissed you, you knew that all that was on their minds, and all you could think about now, was that he could do so much better.

"oh, my angel, come here." seonghwa's voice breaks through the fog of your thoughts, and you realize too late that you've said them aloud. he pulls you into a sitting position in his lap and rests his chin on your shoulder, your back to his chest. his hand continues to run through your hair, coating each strand with the product. "i don't want you to believe for one second that i could choose anyone over you," he says, closing his eyes and filling his lungs with the scent of your conditioner. "i couldn't settle for anything less."

seonghwa gently turns your head towards him and presses a kiss on the tip of your nose, his eyes twinkling at the flush rising to your cheeks. "every part of you is so beautiful," he whispers, letting his eyes roam across your face in awe, leaving no square inch neglected. "each wrinkle that appears when you smile, every hair on your skin. the way both of your hands disappear inside mine. but i especially love your ears--" he pauses to peck at the now bright red one closest to him, "--they're so expressive." pleased with himself, he leans back to admire his handiwork: the blushing mess he turned you into in under a minute.

still, you can't dismiss the doubt buried deep in your mind. even though seonghwa would never lie to you, this isn't just something you can believe that easily. despite years of your friends telling you that you looked absolutely stunning in your sweatpants and hoodies and months of your boyfriend being utterly unable to take his eyes off you, you never seemed to be able to view yourself that way. said boyfriend, however, isn't done.

"my favorite part of the day," he continues while smoothing the gel through your hair, "is just before i fall asleep. because i love seeing the worry on your face gradually be replaced by the peaceful expression you get when you rest. and each morning when i wake up to your adorable messy hair tickling my chin, i'm reminded of how grateful i am to be a part of your life." he buries his face into your neck and playfully nuzzles you, his nose tickling right below your ear. you have to stifle your laughter despite yourself.

"and beyond that, you're not just enough for me." your lifeline lifts his head to take in the full view of your face, before locking eyes with you. you almost look away at the sudden intensity of his gaze, but manage to hold on. "you're more than i've ever dreamed of, and you make every single day better just by being here with me. and it breaks my heart that you don't feel proud of yourself for that."

placing his clean hand over your own that's holding the phone, he scrolls to a picture he took of you smiling at an approaching sea turtle. it's a candid photo, and you remember that it was moments before you noticed him with your phone's camera pointed at you, safe in its waterproof sheath. by reflex, you'd shoved a mighty amount of seawater at the offending lenses. shrieking and laughing, seonghwa had half-run, half-swam back to shore, tossed your phone in its protective covering into your beach bag, and promptly returned to kick up a tidal wave into your face in retaliation. your lips naturally curve up at the memory.

"do you see that smile?" he points to the photo, then pokes your cheek when he sees the expression mirrored on your face. "be careful with it, because it's powerful. it can light up the darkest corners of the world and turn anyone's stressful day around in a second. trust me, i know firsthand." you blush again as seonghwa wipes away the last of the gel into his own drying hair and cups your face in his palms. your eyes slide closed, relaxing into his touch and breathing in the fresh scent of the product on his hands. "and as the one responsible for that smile, it hurts so much to see someone take it away. especially when it's someone who doesn't deserve to witness it in the first place." he kisses each of your eyelids, then your cheekbones, then after a nod from you, he presses a sweet kiss on your lips.

"and i will always, always be proud of being yours," he whispers against the upturned corners of your mouth.

╰─..★.──────────────────────────╯

⋆ likes/reblogs appreciated ⋆ do not repost ⋆ taglist: @mazeinthemiroh

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