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#everything the past 3 years

stuckinapril · 24 days

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the devil’s whispers:

you can do it tomorrow (if you don’t do it now you’ll never do it ever)

you have a lot of time left (life is actually pretty short and we don’t have that much time)

you can skip this one little thing today (you are functioning solely due to the fact that you have a routine)

i must respond to this one thing that is bothering me immediately (you don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

I must check my phone (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head)

panicking is productive (panicking never makes a situation better, but in fact exacerbates it)

I must listen to music while doing the most minute task (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. and I like music as much as the next person but moments of sheer silence are crucial)

I must befriend everyone (some people just don’t mesh together and that is ok)

I can skip working out for the day (working out does so much for ur physical AND mental health)

If misfortune happens to me it’s because I am uniquely unlucky (misfortune has nothing to do with preordained circumstances and everything to do with random odds)

If I am mistreated it’s because I am a horrible person and I deserve it (most times people are projecting their issues onto u and it has nothing to do with u)

if I make a mistake I am uniquely horrible (we are all human and we all make mistakes. the important thing is to hold ourselves accountable and learn from them)

I must have this one thing I really want now (u don’t have to do anything, it’s all in ur head. also whatever u want will still be here tomorrow so this sense of urgency is false)

I am uniquely hated/disliked/ostracized (most people are busy w their own lives and don’t have the time to be hating on u. and if they really are then their life is pretty empty and their opinion should not be held in high regard to begin with)

#14 because I’m an April 14 baby <3 and the nearer my bday gets the more I reflect on everything I learned in the past year

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shima-draws · 2 months

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I haven't watched more than like, 8 episodes of once piece, but i just want to say that i'm loving your live(?) blogging of the episodes as you go. especially all the sanji x luffy, it's all very cute in general but also how excited you get about it is fantastic.

that's all! i just love seeing people passionately enjoy things.

AAGFGHGHF THANK YOU OMG........I feel like I've been REALLY annoying talking about Sanlu nonstop but I'm glad at least somebody is enjoying it lmao. But if there's one place where I SHOULD have no filter and feel free to talk about my ships constantly, it should be my own blog right. LOL

Essentially,

#Also live blogging is fun for me too ESPECIALLY when I can come back to it later #Like. In a couple months or years #I can scroll through my tags and relive everything I was feeling in those exact moments #Just makes for good memories <3 #Shima answers questions #Anyway thank you for letting me unashamedly rant about OP and Sanlu. I appreciate you 🥰#Nice things #Again I'm so so so glad I got into OP. Not only is it just a fantastic show in general but like #I'm properly hyperfixated on it now and I haven't been that way towards anything in a HOT second #It's good for me bc that means I'll be writing and drawing and creating more #I've drawn more over the past month than I have over the last year. Probably. Lol #One Piece #Sanlu #Lusan

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martynsimp69 · 1 year

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HEY! as the second round of the mcytblr sexyman bracket settles in i wanted to take the time to thank everyone that turned out for #saintsweep in the first round. genuinely don’t know how any of this happened, but i was rly touched by the outpouring of support and positivity and enthusiasm from everyone who was willing to commit to the bit. (33%!!! 33!!!! A WHOLE THIRD!!!! 2206 PEOPLE!!!)

i wanna thank specifically zloy and the bracket team for being good sports about the whole thing -- the nomination started as a joke, but it was from a place of genuine excitement and goodwill, and i’m glad we all got to have fun with it. sorry for not actually fitting the “yt” part of the mcyt sexyman tournament LOL.

but, speaking of. i’d joked about making a minecraft video if i won when i first saw the nominations, but after everything that happened here in round one i’m probably gonna do it even tho i lost. i feel like i owe it to everyone who turned out and got really invested and also really confused about who this gay little tv was and why they couldn’t find him anywhere (SORRY ABOUT THAT).

SO!!! one of the things i wanted to do with the potential video was possibly a bit of a q&a; about me/saint, darkwoods smp, the bracket, lore, builds, whatever, idk!! but i figured, y’know, if anyone has questions they wanna ask feel free to send em my way, either in replies to this post or just straight in my askbox, anon or otherwise.

anyways!! thank you all again for everything -- i appreciate being allowed to take this whole thing and run with it as much as i have. it was surreal and hilarious and overwhelming and i am going to be riding the high for weeks. the bragging rights i got from this are insane. im putting official mcytblr sexyman nominee on my resume. godbless.

here is a little saint i doodled at work today while i watched the percentages on the poll tick up. love u guys forever 📺

#saintsweep #saintstarling #mcytblr sexyman #darkwoods smp #sorry if this is weird i am so tired it has been a long day my brain fried<3 #gay little tv what loves u #thank u redacted server and specifically fuzzy for getting me this far i couldn't have done it without u guys #this past ?? year and many months knowing u guys has been wonderful. ppl weren'tkidding when we said it feels like home in there #thank u to confetti for the propaganda videos and posts and everything #thank u to all the ppl who pushed for saintsweep #thank u zloy for recapping the me #ya. ya. i need to sleep now <3.#also itlwsweep everyone vote martyn or im exploding this website to the ground

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becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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Becca Sweetheart, I'm just thinking about Lee with a housewife kink but also with a breeding kink. Like the though of him coming home to you (perhaps you've made him a nice dinner after his long day at work?) and spending the evening showing you exactly how he's going to make you a mommy. I just think this man would go crazy to see you carrying his child.

🍑 Anon

My head hurts and the only cure is some filthy breeding from Lee 👀

Lord, I have to say, I love the thought of Lee wanting to start a family as soon as you both can, I feel like it suits him really well?

And I adore the thought of him coming home from work some evening, totally unable to hold back. He's seen you standing at the stove wearing a pretty little sundress he picked out for you, his dinner is ready and waiting but it's the last thing on his mind in that moment.

"Hi baby! How was your day?" God, you're so bright and chirpy, the most genuine smile on your face because you're just genuinely happy to have your husband home again. It makes his heart soar and his dick harden and it just reminds him how perfect you are.

"It was fine, sweetheart. Is it okay if we let dinner simmer for a bit?" He shrugs off his jacket and sets his keys on the counter, bypassing your lips in favour of sucking on your neck instead.

His mouth is hot and insistent because clearly, this has been on his mind all day. "Y-yeah, that's fine." Your voice is barely louder than a whisper when his teeth start nipping at your skin.

"You stop takin' those birth control pills like we talked about?" Fuck, of course you did. You haven't taken your birth control in about 2 weeks after a lengthy conversation that this would probably be the best time to start trying for a baby.

"Yeah, Lee. Haven't taken any in a while." You hear him groan against your skin at the confirmation, his hands squeezing your hips over your dress.

"Good. I'll maybe give you your little baby tonight. How does that sound, huh? You want me to make you a mommy?" Oh, that sounds far too thrilling and truthfully, it's all you really want.

"Please. Please give me a baby." He groans again, low and desperate. He's more than happy to. In fact, he needs nothing more.

It doesn't take him long to scoop you up and carry you to the bedroom, laying you down on the bed before layering his body on top of yours, kissing you with a passion he wasn't even aware he was capable of. Something in him needed this more than he realised. His sweet little wife was fertile and desperate for a baby. For his baby. And everything in him wanted to ensure he gave you one.

"You better take a good look in the mirror over the next few months, honey." He pulls back and takes his belt off, barely registering that you'd already begun working to undo the buttons of his shirt. After a second, both are discarded. "Won't be too long before you start showing."

You didn't expect to like this the way you do. It's almost indescribable because this isn't just some spur of the moment idea or some filthy little fantasy. It's the start of your family with the love of your life and somehow, that makes it even hotter.

"You think I'll look pretty like that? With my belly all round, carrying your baby?" Shit, he can't control himself when you say things like that. With very little fuss, he flips the skirt of your dress up, tugging your wet little panties to the side, sliding his dick into you with a groan.

"You'll look fuckin' gorgeous like that. Maybe I should keep you that way. Just fill you up with baby after baby. You'll never need those birth control pills again. I'll keep you waddlin' round the house with a baby in your tummy. Swear you even feel different. Now this little pussy's fertile, I swear you're wetter for me. How's a man even meant to pull out of that? You've got Heaven between your legs, sweetheart."

Neither of you last awfully long but you couldn't be expected to. After he's done feeding you dinner, he's got all damn night.

#asks answered <3 #🍑 anon #becca writes spice #lee bodecker smut #lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader smut #*cries* when is it my turn to get railed by lee #I am past the point of giving shits today #I'm writing pure fucking filth #take it or leave it #I ordered some pretty lingerie today #I talk about everything else in my life in these tags so I might as well keep oversharing #it's very pretty #I got a red set #and a white set with black flowers #but more importantly #my tiktok fyp might be getting too specific #I got one of those videos that was like 'you're about to be in a long term relationship'#'someone is rushing in to ask you on a date or have a reunion with you'#and earlier a guy I haven't spoken to in years messaged me out of the blue #and back in the day we were going to go on a date and things just didn't work out #he was a good study partner though #he always had this weird superiority thing though? He always thought he was better than the rest of us in the class #I would like to humbly point out that I did in fact graduate with a higher classification than him 😏#keep your long term relationship #I have no desire for that shit rn #I'm just out of one and I do NOT want another any time soon #I'm just enjoying doing what I'm doing

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lee-kangin · 8 months

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TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR: BELIEVERS NEVER DIE. It is better to fail aiming high than to succeed aiming low. And we of Spurs have set our sights very high, so high in fact that even failure will have in it an echo of glory. happy birthday, @captainson!

Florence and the Machine, 'Free' / Ajax 2-3 Tottenham, Champions League 18/19 semi-finals / Danny Rose on the comeback in the second half of that match / Ajax 2-3 Tottenham, Champions League 18/19 semi-finals / Commentary during the Ajax v Tottenham match / Kane after losing the Champions League final against Liverpool / 'Road to Hell (Reprise)', Hadestown / The Golden Boot saga: Norwich 0-5 Tottenham, 22nd May 2022 / Dier on Son winning the Golden Boot / Son on winning the Golden Boot / Son on rejecting offers from Saudi Arabia and staying at Spurs / Last day at White Hart Lane / Franz Wright, 'Night Walk' / Lads at training / Romero on Instagram / Bissouma on signing for Spurs / Ange Postecoglou answers fan questions / Romero on the rebuild / r/coys / Spurs huddle before the first match of the 23/24 season / Tottenham after losing the Champions League final / Richard Siken, 'Snow and Dirty Rain'

#tottenham #tottenham hotspur #spurs #football #web weaving #footballedit #okay for anyone to rb!#nico i told you i was working on this hehe and it just managed to be done in time for your birthday <3 #texted you everything over dms but just know that i love you and i hope you have a lovely lovely day blue!!!#so honoured to be able to call myself your friend :') this past year has been soooo fun talking abt footy #and just accompanying each other thru huge changes in our lives #hope you like this <3 #rahul.txt

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catalvarezs · 11 months

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oh god oh god ted telling trent to not be the 'laugh police', telling him to back off, telling him their chats are over, telling him he's leaving and trent interpreting it as exactly this i don't know what to call the finale if not a tragedy

#not necessarily a bad tragedy #a good one #but a tragedy nonetheless #ted lasso #trent crimm #ted lasso x trent crimm #tedependent #tedtrent #ted lasso season 3 #sephy watches ted lasso #so long farewell ted lasso #this is officially the last post i'll ever make about you #thank you for everything you've done for me over the past year

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blyszczopies · 7 months

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hey do yall recognize my oc Rakka that i made in 2016. did u know it took me years to realize that shes basically a werewolf

like. shes a deer that gains wolf-like features the more extreme the emotions she experiences are. especially anger and jealousy. to the point of fully transforming into a wolf. and of course she progressively gets more aggressive and violent. literally the only thing that makes her different from your typical werewolf is that her default state is a deer instead of a human

so basically what i want to say is that ive been expressing my struggles through werewolves for like 7 years now. unaware for most of the time

#love u lycanthropy!! my fav metaphor for literally everything #i dont draw rakka as much as i used to in middle and high school.....#for the past 2 maybe 3 years ive been drawing her sporadically. no proper come back #and now i have an entire family of werewolves #to which shes not related to in any way #notes app #the last two images are frames from my Id Rather Sleep Meme that yall should check out on my youtube channel (timo długiewłosy)

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gerbiloftriumph · 9 days

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Floating Castle Liveblog (third read)

In 2020, I read the first king's quest adaptation novel. Again. Because 2020 was awful.

August 22, 2020 –

page 0

I'm not going to read this aga--oh wait no who am I kidding I'm trapped at work for another four hours and it's *not* a good day and I just want my tea drinking wizard tree and frog prince and mcguffin king and headless ghosts and the soft delights of smarmy sassy villains. (also the kq series is the only series i have easy access to rn so shhh)

page 3

"Castles do not fly." The title of the book says otherwise, sir.

page 10

Gotta admit, Telgrin's perpetual single thundercloud over his castle still gives me ridiculous amounts of joy. I'm sitting here grinning honestly for the first time all day. I love my melodramatic sassmaster.

page 14

I comment on it every single time I read this (yes this IS the third time I've read this in three years, leave me alone), but I seriously love watching Graham being an actual king. I love adventures, and I love royals, and I love adventuring royals, but I also really like the sturdy basis of kindness and clarity Graham just has as a leader. It's really pleasant.

page 20

IT HIM. Heeeeeeere's Telgrin! Do you think Telgrin spent hours shuffling around trying to perfect that gliding walk? Stars, I hope he did. I mean in any other villain it would just be natural but with my emo goth drama king who tries too hard, everything is carefully plotted for maximum visual aesthetic.

page 22

Totally seriously, though, the contrast between Graham's tightly contained fury and balance of how he's been treating the assembly and Telgin's wide swept theatrics and overblown personality is SO good. This sort of subtle contrast really does raise this book from generic game adaptation to surprisingly pleasant fantasy. It's still genre light, but it has confidence and solid bone work.

page 23

"The news reached me that you were gathering all your knights here today, Graham, so it seemed a convenient time." Because Telgrin won't do anything without an audience to oooh and ahhh over his antics.

page 30

"Everything seemed muted, vague, unreal." Oh, did you mean my life right now? No? Close enough.

page 33

"and a small pear." Yes, a crucial thing to make sure you pack on your voyage. Good call.

page 38

TREE WIZARD oh stars my whole heart is happyyyyy. What a mood improvement.

page 40

"So, that castle belongs to this guy named Telgrin." "Oh yeah, Telgrin. He's evil. Don't mess with him." "You know him?" "I know his reputation." Stars, Telgrin would be SO PLEASED to know his reputation precedes him now. I hope he started some of those rumors himself.

page 40

I still can't handle the density of this conversation. "Telgrin is a stealer of souls." "A stealer of souls? What's that?" Alexander. Alexander, pleaaaase think about what you just said. Please. I love you, but seriously.

page 45

Even when you are a tree wizard, that is, a wizard slowly and literally turning into a tree, it's still important that you get your morning cup of tea. Morowyn knows it. So should you.

page 47

In other words, Alexander, you're just a glorified babysitter. You could have asked Big Knight Brian Blessed to be your partner in crime on this heist and gotten a better result. (i'm kidding of course I love Cyril to absolute pieces, look at this farmboy wizard lad he's so squishy and blond and round and I love him.)

page 54

heist heist heist heIST let's plan a HEIST.

page 58

The moat monsters also have a taste for the finer things in life. Like feather-capped adventurers. Castle Daventry is literally the most perfect fantasy castle there is. It even has a hoard of moat monsters. Like, you can't get more Fantasy Castle than this place. Telgrin only wishes his castle was that cool. He just has to make do with personal thunderclouds.

page 63

A small thing, but I super love Mills's emphasis on color. From the rain slanting golden in the yellow torchlight, to the hills here slowly changing from an angry maroon to a deep indigo with a band of yellow slowly disappearing as the sun sets...it's heavily visual, like he's literally painting a screen from the games, and I find it rather peaceful, somehow.

page 64

Literally just the ringwraith scene from Fellowship of the Ring, but with King's Quest protagonists instead of Frodo and friends. The audacity of this book. I love it.

page 69

Mills was absolutely just rereading Fellowship of the Ring when he was asked to write this book. It's not even subtle at this point. .........and I super love every single reference with all my silly fantasy heart.

page 89

I can't think of a single other fantasy in which the protagonist lassos a kelpie and attempts to ride it. I can't imagine why not. It's a flawless plan.

page 96

I feel like that's just magic homemade whiskey. Getting the prince drunk might not be in everyone's best interest.

page 97

Alexander, you gotta stop calling people "ho." You're gonna offend someone. (I'm kidding, of course. "Ho there" is as traditionally delightful as "Who goes there," and highly welcome to behold.)

page 99

platform boots

page 100

I'm sorry, I know I commented on this when I read this last year, but...again. Telgrin has One Single Lone Stupid Thundercloud, which "hovered over a high central tower. From time to time, this cloud would light with an internal fire, and a low, menacing rumble would break across the land." It's like the Winnie the Pooh raincloud, with ambient sound effects. The audacious aesthetic of this guy is a DELIGHT to behold.

page 107

Aaah yes the Road to El Dorado sequence. Truly, this book is nothing but the best hits of adventure tropes crammed into a book 300 pages long.

page 108

Does this mean that Telgrin has also been to Narnia? Oh dear.

page 112

Again. "The cloud." Not many clouds. Just the one. A single, lone, silly, thundercloud.

August 24, 2020 –

page 114

Wait, what came first, this book or the Muppet Christmas Carol movie? Because all I can picture is Scrooge's Statler-shaped Muppet door knocker, but with extra teeth, shrieking.

page 117

Is Alexander is the only person in the series to ever have a proper sword fight? I mean, not counting....uhhhh is it Owen in KQ8? (Super didn't play KQ8, everyone said it wasn't worth the effort.)

page 123

Like, I gotta say: binding souls to armor, cool. Great scheme, very evil. Making it so that just knocking the helmet off releases the soul into the night forever? ...nooooot the most ideal.

page 126

You know in Princess Bride, when Westley tries to wrestle Fezzik, and just kinda runs at him and squeezes him and absolutely nothing happens? Alexander, right here, vs the black knight.

page 131

A barikar is not a real fantasy monster--the only google result that comes up is that, yes, Telgrin owns one. But it's a huge rabbit with a rat nose, dog fangs, fish scales instead of fur, and human like hands with claws. It sees about as well as a human, but it can hear well, thanks to the rabbit ears. It's absolutely ridiculous. I love it. I wonder if I can convince my dm to make it a fight in our campaign.

page 133

My sweet babiiiiies. Alexander making Cyril stand behind him to protect him and Cyril absolutely refusing and taking the front anyway. I love these kids. I say, fully recognizing that they're semi-close to my age and know how to handle swords and magic.

page 133

Oh, no, excuse me, the Bariker doesn't have rabbit ears--it has bat ears. Which just kind of further emphasizes how much I want this thing in a campaign. It's so ridiculous.

page 139

Where was he? Yes. Who was this beside him? Yes. How long had he been asleep? No way of knowing. Alexander, those are not answers to questions, except maybe the last one. You've answered nothing. Alexander, please.

page 141

headless ghost headless ghost headless ghoooost i can't stop smiling he's holding it like a football it's amazing

August 25, 2020 –

page 142

Lydia's mom caught Anime Mom Protagonist Disease. It's a tragic illness. No hope of recovery.

page 142

"Owen took a brief pause, while Alexander reflected on the fact that he was getting used to carrying on a conversation with a beheaded man. It was starting to seem almost normal. Almost." How is this a real book. I love this book.

page 143

tragic telgrin backsto--oh wait it's not tragic at all he's just always been a brat.

page 144

"Somehow a beheaded man on his feet was infinitely more alarming than a beheaded man quietly seated." o rly?

page 145

Look, it is a *little* creepy that he would install magic mirrors of spying in his daughter's bedroom without her knowledge, but considering Owen admitted to teaching Telgrin everything he knows, including presumably soul torturing magic, we can kind of assume Owen isn't actually that good a guy after all.

page 149

Glowing moss in fantasy must be the most useful plant ever cultivated.

page 155

Obviously, there's nothing wrong with describing Alexander's haunches, but it's also just a little weird. It's not...a word I hear often, especially in reference to humans.

page 156

I like a good wizard who knows that a cup of tea soothes most ills. A man after my own heart.

page 156

"After allowing himself to wallow in depression for a short while, he pushed his mood aside with a firm effort, squared, his shoulders, and said, 'Well, the sooner we get going, the sooner you'll get your bath and your tea.'" Ah, yes, of course, just push aside your wallowing. Why didn't I realize it was that easy?

page 158

"A few wary, rather mincing steps, brought him to the vestibule." Alexander, your author is making fun of you. Just a bit.

page 161

The book is very, very clear that it's just Graham's face floating in the soul-capture orb. The book is very, very wrong. It's a tiny Graham floating around in there. Like, full body, but like two inches high. This is fact, and better than a disembodied Wizard of Oz-style face. I'm just letting you all know that the book is misprinted. Every copy. It's a full body'd Graham. Just smol.

page 162

YEAH BOI PUNCH AN UNDEAD KNIGHT...oh no, your arm, why did you just literally punch a suit of armor, you donut, you know better than that

August 26, 2020 –

page 167

To be fair, the door is now open. As is the floor, and the wall, and...well, the room, to the sky. Definitely very open.

August 27, 2020 –

page 169

It's turned into Dragon's Lair instead of King's Quest, for this scene. Super into it. Wouldn't want to play it as a video game, though--the amounts of game overs....

August 31, 2020 –

page 169

"But this insignificant event raised within him an unexpected fury. He cursed the poor root to withering, black perdition, cursed it deeply and sincerely, cursed it with all his soul." Gods, Alexander, I get it. Man, do I ever get it. I'm so tired.

page 177

"This was it, the nadir. It could not get any worse than this." You sure about that, kid? I think we've got one more scrape at the bottom of the barrel we can squeeze into."

page 181

Alexander is thiiiiiiiis close to snapping. Kid, I understand you. Critically and crucially, I understand.

page 183

FROG PRINCE. I told you there was one more level we could reach. The royal family gets transformed into animals rather frequently. At least this time he's not a snail, poor kid.

page 183

"With a sense of profound shock, he realized that he had been transformed into a frog--a rather large and handsome frog, it's true, but still a frog." You can't make this stuff up. This book is perfect. The ideal. The author is calling Alexander a handsome frog. He's a frog, but a good looking one. I can't handle this.

page 185

"Did you speak, Sir Frog?" "That's Prince Frog, to you." Alexander, be nice. Don't pull rank. I don't think you have rank to pull anymore. Smelly swamp rank, at best.

page 186

I like to think that was just Alexander swearing, but it was masked as a ribbit.

page 187

To be fully fair, Alex, you do kind of need him to reattach Graham's soul, so maybe it's for the best that he doesn't go far.

page 189

If I were a soul-armor, and this frog decided to enter the castle, to be honest, I think I would probably just let it. Because it's a frog.

page 194

There's fanart of this scene too because it's hilarious. She kisses a frog, he becomes a man hanging half over the rim of a fountain, and all she can say is "Goodness! But...you're beautiful." Ridiculous.

page 194

HA and then she tries to recover saying, "I haven't seen that many men in my life. Hardly any, actually. I'm sure that you're really very ordinary." Kid. Please, stop insulting him, you're going to make him sad(der than he already is)

page 198

It's at this point that Alexander just sort of gives in to the sass and the snark and starts leaning into the nonsense. "Creature?" "She's not entirely human." "Uh, in what way is she not human?" "To begin with, she has two heads, no hair, only three fingers on each hand, and is fully seven feet tall." "You're right. That doesn't sound entirely human." Pleeaaaaase this book is a deliiight.

page 200

That twilight area between wakefulness and sleep, with thoughts centered on nothing at all? my brain, today. fully. I've got nothing left to offer anyone, except not-very-funny remarks on this book.

page 202

Nothing Telgrin does is ever common. Overblown and ludicrous, maybe, but never ever common.

September 1, 2020 –

page 209

When the two headed guard calls to the intruding man like a person tempting a kitty cat. "Come here, man, pspspsps. Man, man, maaaan." Instead of catnip, she can bring tacos.

page 211

Again, I just gotta let you all know that the books have been misprinted. It's not a disembodied head floating in the orb, even if it's probably supposed to be an Owen's decapitated head parallel, because that's dumb. It's a tiny two-inch tall Graham floating in the orb, not just his face. I don't know how all the copies got misprinted like that, but they did. It's really a tiny Graham. Cute. Okay? Okay. Onward.

page 212

I love One Stubborn King.

page 216

I can't actually make snide jokes about the text when I'm actually just outright enjoying it. The sheer blissy silly triumph of Telgrin, the stubbornness and sharp agony of my dear sweet Graham, Alexander standing there ruminating on what loyalty means--this is exactly my flavor of fantasy jam.

September 17, 2020 –

page 225

I still kind of sort of love that Telgrin apparently decided that the best way to use the magic staff was to make it respond to wishes. "I wish for a giant fireball." And thus, one appears. It just...speaks to some strange childishness that I find totally hilarious in this big bad villain.

page 230

Again, the book is misprinted. I'm not about these weird Wizard of Oz style floating faces. They're weird. It's a fully bodied apparition of Telgrin yelling at Alexander, hands on hips, just as it's a tiny full bodied shape of Graham in the orb. My version is better.

page 231

"I could kill you now, if I wanted." "I don't think so," Alexander said defiantly. "Is *everyone* in Daventry this obstinate?" Sir. My dude. My man. Palberto. You messed with the wrong royal family, and they come from knight stock, not actually blue blood at all. They're going to *wreck* you.

page 232

"I'll live, I think." Alexander, your ability to comfort others leaves a little bit to be desired.

page 234

I'm not actually kidding. If Mills hadn't read Fellowship of the Ring at least a week or two before writing this, I will eat my whole entire adventuring cap. That's the Watcher in the Water, as there was literally lembas bread earlier and a ringwraith before that. Fantasy tropes or not, this is just sneaking Tolkien references in because Mills is a fanboy (I mean, obviously: he's writing company-approved fanfic).

page 237

Again, Alexander, realize this: Telgrin learned everything he knows from Owen. One might assume, especially knowing how dark those mirrors felt, that Owen himself is *not actually a very good guy.*

page 241

It's kind of like cheerfully presenting Sweeney Todd with his shaving tools. "At last, I am complete again!" Not.....super great, I feel.

page 242

I love that it's not actually magic keeping the castle moored, but a big ol' safety pin. That's not even actually much of an exaggeration. "At the bottom of that well you will find a large golden pin embedded in the paving stone. You are to remove this pin. It may not be easy, but you must do it. It will set the castle free from the moorings of the earth."

page 248

The fact that Telgrin now has to wear an eyepatch is great enough. The fact that he took the time to make sure it perched on "his bald head at a jaunty angle" is almost too much to bear. I hope he stood in front of his cracked and smoking mirror adjusting it just so before coming down for this final confrontation.

page 248

"I'll probably never see out of this eye again, I hope you're happy with yourself." "I mean...you *were* trying to kill me." "Irrelevant." Boys, please, there are serious issues at hand.

page 250

"All I've ever asked in return is that you marry me, and that you not burden me with your opinions." Telgrin, the ultimate flirt. Magnificent.

page 251

Telgrin's snarky sassy meltdown is the greatest. "She's now willing to marry me, merely to save your worthless life! Willingly! Well, I won't have it, I tell you. She shall marry me unwillingly, or not at all!" Telgrin, you are absolutely bonkers and you're my favorite villain in any piece of media ever, full stop. The sheer ridiculousness of *you* with your wish-magic and bloviating and grandiose posturing....divine.

page 253

Telgrin's pasty complexion is enough to "make a marble statue appear dark by comparison." If this were a modern AU, Telgrin would be that emo kid hunched over twitter mansplaining at everyone, while listening to the rainy mood app constantly. He's an absolute delight from start to finish, especially because he *is* a threat and he *could* win if he wasn't so obsessed with the *aesthetic* and the need to show off.

page 255

Ahh one of my favorite lines in the whole book: "It's blame-everything-on-Telgrin time, is it?" What villain talks like this?? Who does this?!! No one but Telgrin, author Craig Mills, and this goofy novelisation of the very sassy, very cliche, very delightful, King's Quest series. Fantasy tropes, sass, snark, and everything. This book is nothing but pure sugared joy for me.

page 266

No more than two feet of earth held the entire castle in place, and now they're floating away again like the house in Up. Delightful.

page 270

Telgrin, you can't behead someone who has already been beheaded. Be sensible.

page 273

"Can you think of any way for us to get down from [this steadily rising floating castle]?" "I could attempt to fly you down!" All in all, Alexander thought he would rather just jump. Boys, please.

page 288

A Valanice story, I think, would have been very welcome. I'm glad for the trilogy we got, but I really would have enjoyed an official novel from her perspective. This lonely image of her standing alone before the throne, with her husband dying in the next room and her son gone for at least a week to face an unknown villain alone, while her kingdom is ravaged by evil knights....it feels worth exploring.

page 291

I absolutely one thousand million percent love this strobing effect of two Grahams floating together, his transparent and delicate soul settling down into his body again. It's delightful.

page 292

Pleaaase Graham, say "A heart is a heavy burden." I know this book came out like a decade before the Howl's Moving Castle (the movie at least, I don't know the book's publication date), but pleaaaase. I know you won't, but I want you to.

page 293

SHRIEKING. I don't ever ship things, but this is my otp for liiiiiife look at these two precious beans together I'm just THRILLED the smile on my face is enormous ahhhh Valanice and Graham have hardly anything going for them in the original games since they hardly ever interact on screen but this book and this scene is just DELIGHTFUL.

September 17, 2020 – Finished Reading

Again, five stars out of five stars

#king's quest novels #king's quest #kings quest #cyril (king's quest)#alexander (king's quest)#theoretically i'm reading it for a 4th time this year but i haven't actually gone past page six so that's it for liveblogs of book one #for now anyway #maybe i'll add book 2 and book 3 too #i haven't read them nearly as many times they've never captured my attention like this one did #but they are still fun and it might be good to have everything contained here anyway

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