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#faafil3
blackbird-brewster · 1 year
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Get ready for Part 3 memes while I lament about having 12 different people in one scene 🤣
I said this is the AU where everyone is gay, then immediately had to face the consequences
Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3: Coming Soon
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blackbird-brewster · 7 months
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When I get really bad imposter syndrome, especially when working on a longer fic, I like to go to this site that tells you the word count of famous books.
It's really easy for me to get mad at myself for not writing for a week or so when I've been working on the same fic for six months. But then, I realise my current word count on this WIP is longer than all of 'Moby Dick' (which is 540 pgs) and it makes me go 'HOLY SHIT I've written something longer than Moby Dick in SIX months time?!'
This method puts things into perspective and gets me out of my head way faster than anything else. I don't know if this will be helpful to anyone, but just in case, I wanted to share 💜
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blackbird-brewster · 7 months
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - NOW POSTED
It was a complicated situation, which Elle seemed totally uninterested in talking about, and although JJ wanted to be respectful of her boundaries, she'd also found herself surprisingly fascinated about Elle's gender fluidity. It had piqued her interest in ways she couldn't entirely explain. After kissing her, JJ realised she wasn't attracted to Elle in the ways she originally thought, but JJ was attracted to Leo. She couldn't make heads or tails of those feelings, because the fact was, Elle was Leo and he was Elle, so how was it possible for JJ to only be attracted to one without the other?
From JJ's confusing attraction, to her strange dreams, to the sexual fantasies she'd been envisioning recently, to how much she enjoyed Emily giving her a blowjob, JJ wasn't sure what was going on anymore. She assumed all of these things, these new feelings and turn-ons, were connected to each other, the question was -- how?
These feelings, which she'd been having since first realising who Leo was, were becoming more and more daunting. She'd never thought about her own gender at any great length, she never had a reason to previously. JJ knew she was a woman and she loved her body. She'd never felt dysphoric about it and she definitely never felt like she was a man, in the ways that Luke was man. She also didn't feel detached from her 'womanhood' in the same ways Penelope did. Back when Penelope first came out as nonbinary, the pair of them had plenty of in-depth discussions about gender, but to JJ's understanding, even Penelope's nonbinary identity was more of  static thing, unchanging and clearly defined. 
JJ couldn't relate to Luke's transness, nor Penelope's, but the way Elle described of her own experience made something deep down in JJ's subconscious flutter closer to the surface. Elle used the word 'fluid' when she explained how some days, she felt like a woman, other days like a man, but she'd also said, a lot of time, she felt detached from her gender completely.
JJ had never thought about gender as being something fluid, something that changed from day to day for some people, but the more time she spent trying to comprehend the concept, the more it terrified her. A lot of what Elle said seemed almost familiar to JJ in some ways, it had her reframing some of her own experiences, looking at her past through a new lens. The whole ordeal suddenly had JJ questioning whether she wanted to be with Leo -- or if she simply wanted to be Leo.
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST
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blackbird-brewster · 6 months
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FINAL CHAPTER - NOW POSTED
A/N: Due to some personal scheduling, I decided to post the final chapter a day early. Hope you all don't mind ;)
JJ had the sink running to rinse dishes before loading them into the dishwasher and Tara used the noise of the tap to cover her movements as she snuck up behind her partner. She grabbed JJ's waist from behind, making them shriek in surprise. Tara reached past them and turned off the tap, then brought JJ into a long, passionate kiss.
JJ hummed contently with a stunned grin, "What was that for?"
"Because I love you," Tara replied. She leaned in for another kiss, equally as heartfelt as the first. "And that was because I appreciate you," another kiss, "and that was because I'm proud of you."
"I love you too, Piglet," JJ grinned.
Tara leaned in like she was going to kiss them a fourth time, but maneuvered to duck at the last second. She buried her shoulder against JJ's waist and flung them over it. JJ burst into laughter and pretended to fight back, even though they both knew JJ loved it.
"What are you doing?" JJ questioned as they relaxed to allow Tara to carry all of their weight.
Tara grunted at the change and readjusted, shirking her shoulder like JJ was a sack of potatoes she was carrying, instead of a highly trained FBI agent who could easily kick her ass if they wanted to.
"I told you, you're not allowed to help with breakfast," Tara replied as she began pulling things out of the fridge. "And since you wouldn't sit down, I've had to resort to drastic measures. So you better get comfortable up there, because pancakes take me half an hour."
"You are not going to tote me around for thirty minutes."
"Oh?" Tara gently removed the arm she'd been using to hold JJ's legs against her chest, shifting her weight until she was balancing her partner on one shoulder while being able to use both her hands for short amounts of time. "Is that a challenge?"
"And what if I say it is?" JJ chided. "What's in it for me when I win?"
Tara used her foot to pull out a drawer and stretched an arm down to grab the mixing bowl out. "Well, what's in it for you is that you get pancakes."
"I was already going to get pancakes," JJ reminded. She had gone completely ragdoll at this point, talking to Tara while upside down over her shoulder, staring at her ass -- which was actually a pretty great view in JJ's opinion.
"Nope, I think me and Emily are going to eat all the pancakes with out you."
"Nice try, babe," JJ said. "You couldn't keep me from pancakes without physically...."
"Physically what, Jen?" Tara mocked. "Physically restraining you?"
JJ huffed in feigned frustration. She could get down anytime she wanted, but where was the fun in that? She noticed Tara's phone in her back pocket and slowly began to work it free without raising Tara's suspicion.
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST
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blackbird-brewster · 6 months
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READER ALERT: Only two chapters left! CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - NOW POSTED
The rest of their friends arrived in short succession and the tensions in the group instantly felt high. Derek and Beck hadn't seen each other since they both went to Chicago when Jordan was first arrested, which meant they also hadn't seen each other since Beck began sleeping with Tara. As if that wasn't enough, Derek was also facing Spencer for the first time after finding out he and Luke kissed each other.
But Derek wasn't the only one walking into the party with mixed feelings.
Elle had spent most of the day tossing up whether or not she should even go to a party for her co-worker's boyfriend. Elle had mostly been leaning towards skipping the event altogether, but her brother, Jameson, ultimately convinced her it would be nice for her to spend time around other queer people. He loved his sibling and supported her always, but he also constantly reminded her that she needed to find friends of her own, outside of him and his other cishet rugby pals.
This was the first time she would be willingly be spending time with her colleagues outside of work and Elle wasn't sure what to expect. Running into JJ, and subsequently spending the evening with her on game night, wasn't something Elle planned in advance. Choosing to come to the party tonight was.
Here she was, standing in JJ's foyer while trying to quell her nerves. Elle regretted not coming as Leo, knowing, for whatever reason, being Leo when she was around JJ seemed to make Elle feel more confident. Logically, she knew Leo would create his own tensions, considering she was only out as genderfluid to JJ and Penelope. Even so, Elle could have done with a bit of his confidence right about now, because currently, all they felt was awkward.
Penelope excitedly flung their arms around her. "Elley-mo-melly-bo-nana-fana-fo-felly! I'm so hyped you came. Welcome to the cool kids clique!"
Elle's arms were pinned to their sides as Pen crushed them in a hug. They let out a strangled, "Hey, Penny Dreadful."
"Come meet the gang!" Pen said as they released their death grip so they could loop an arm in Elle's to escort her into the other room. They lowered their voice slightly, "Just a heads up, we're all flavours of queer here."
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST]
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blackbird-brewster · 10 months
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Honestly, why do people feel this entitled?
Imagine choosing to read something, then it doesn't go how you wanted/hoped/imagined and instead of your first instinct being to simply stop reading - - you decide to leave a shitty comment.
If you don't want to read it, close the tab. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, it's funny to me for someone to read my queer, polyamorous, rom-com series and then go: HVD there be queer polyam romance!! 🤣
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blackbird-brewster · 1 year
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - PART 3
Buying a house to remodel means big changes for the throuple. Tara transfers out of the BAU to focus on the renovation, which means she's spending most of her time with her general contractor, Beck. (Who she definitely doesn't have a crush on...)
Tara's position at the BAU is filled by Agent Elle Greenaway, who JJ feels is completely closed-off and arrogant. She's convinced Elle is hiding something, but can she get through her dislike of this new agent so they can find a way to work together?
Meanwhile, Emily is doing her best to keep up with all the interruptions going on in her life and her relationship, but juggling her partners, her job, and the house renovation begins to take a toll on her. 
How can the three women find a balance that doesn't threaten the foundation of everything they've built together?
[Read on AO3]
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Portraits By: @artcake || Design By Me
[Listen to the Fooled Around Series OST on Spotify]
Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that explores coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
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blackbird-brewster · 8 months
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CHAPTER TWENTY - NOW POSTED
For the second time that night JJ was being asked why she was keeping secrets, but unlike Penelope, she knew that Tara would be suspicious of any lie JJ tried to feed her right now. JJ's mind began racing through all of the real reasons she'd failed to tell Penelope about Beck, all the reasons she'd been so distracted lately.
I forgot to tell them because I've spent every waking moment thinking about the fact, surprise, Leo and Elle are the same person. And I have no idea what to do with this knowledge. On top of that, I think I also developed a crush on Elle in the process. Now, I'm absolutely terrified of what that means and I don't know what to do about any of it.
"It just slipped my mind," JJ replied simply.
She hated lying to her partner, they promised they weren't keeping secrets anymore, but JJ was still caught up in whether or not this was her secret to share. The idea of outing Elle, even if it was only to Tara, made her feel like she'd be betraying Elle's privacy in some way.
As expected, Tara could instantly tell her girlfriend was hiding something from her. She gently asked, "Are you sure that's all that's going on? Baby, we face heffalumps together, remember?"
With that reminder JJ felt her resolve fracture, her inner turmoil started seeping outwards by means of tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. As much as she wanted to prevent exposing Elle's other identity, JJ knew she couldn't keep this to herself, not with how quickly it was consuming her from the inside out. Elle's privacy was important to her, but so was her own wellbeing.
JJ blinked tears back as she muttered, "Actually, there is something important I need to tell you. I, um, well, I sort of accidentally found something out, about..." She looked up at her girlfriend and instantly lost her train of thought when her attention was redirected over Tara's shoulder.
From her position, JJ currently had a clear view of the entire bar. She saw Emily come back through the entrance at the same time Beck was leaving the bathroom, the pair of them began making conversation on their way to the table. JJ could also see Penelope returning from the bar with their hands full of drinks, but unlike when they left the table, this time they weren't alone.
After JJ abruptly went silent mid-sentence, Tara turned to follow her partner's line of sight. She instantly saw what, or rather who, had distracted JJ from their conversation, because coming over to the table with Penelope, was none other than Elle.
Tara looked back to girlfriend. She misinterpreted JJ's blank expression as annoyance and gave her a stern warning. "Jen, be nice to her."
"What? No, you don't understand, that's not...Tara, I really need to tell you --" JJ quickly muttered, but it was too late.
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the companion playlist on Spotify: [Fooled Around: Part 3]
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blackbird-brewster · 6 months
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READER ALERT: Only three chapters left! CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - NOW POSTED
JJ had spent the past couple of days trying to work up the courage to tell Emily her secret, but her nagging fear about how Emily would react had delayed the conversation. When she couldn't broach the topic on her own, Tara stepped in to help. She insisted on cooking for the three of them before they left for The Boot and over dinner, JJ managed to come out to Emily. Although, she didn't really feel like it was 'coming out' so to speak, not when she still didn't have a label for her identity, other than being ,not as cis as originally thought,.
To JJ's relief, Emily was totally unphased by the news. She was happy JJ told her and she was fully supportive of her partner wanting to explore these new parts of herself. The conversation left JJ feeling even more in love with her girlfriends as she began navigating such uncharted waters.
However, Emily wasn't the only person JJ had been side-stepping the past few days. After tricking JJ and Elle to spend time together, Penelope started begging for details about game night as soon as they sat down at the table. And although Elle said she'd come out to Penelope already, JJ was still proceeding with caution in regards to giving them any specifics about Leo, just to be safe.
Luckily for JJ, Penelope forgot about game night as their eyes lit up seeing Maeve and Spencer walk in. They bounced excitedly in their seat, "Ahh! There's the rest of our group! We've got six brilliant babes tonight and I've got a really good feeling about this, gang!"
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST
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blackbird-brewster · 1 year
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love)
Here's an at-a-glance look at the intricate web of relationships in Part 3 of FAAFIL! In the AU where everyone is gay, there are bound to be complications between characters. The question is, who will be dating who by the end of the fic?!
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Portraits By: @artcake || Design By Me
ONLY SEVEN MORE DAYS...
Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3 begins on June 2nd! SUSCRIBE on AO3 to never miss an update!
Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that explores coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
[Listen to the Playlist on Spotify] || [Read Part 1 and Part 2 on AO3]
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blackbird-brewster · 1 year
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Me: Wow, Part 3 really is going to be long considering I only covered one month total in the first nine chapters. I really need to move this along faster.... Also Me: I am missing at least two more chapters in this single week alone, because in order to properly build the tension these two characters deserve their own interlude....
What this means for you, the reader: Strap in, it's gonna be a fun time!
ONLY TEN MORE DAYS.... Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 3
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blackbird-brewster · 11 months
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JFC I kept saying "Gotta fix the pacing with Part 3, because it's supposed to span SIX months!" (The first NINE chapters only cover ONE month)
So then, somehow instead of adding a bit more time-skips.... I managed to write five entire chapters that all happen in ONE week. god, why!?
I said 'ohhhh so-and-so finally kiss! It's been builing for SO long!' checks notes: oh. god. it's only been four weeks. fml.
Writing is weird. So the update here is that I've written up to Chapter 18 now -- and this fic is over 100k words currently. And ALL I've covered is SIX weeks from the beginning
hope you're all strapped in for a really long one. Glad to have my Fooled Around ride-or-die readers out there, this one's for you!
(Well, mostly, this was for me and my partner. Completely self-indulgent, I'm just tickled other people love it too!)
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blackbird-brewster · 7 months
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CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - NOW POSTED
When JJ arrived home from Corvid, they were surprised to see Tara's car in the driveway. It was barely nine o'clock, which was far earlier than the time Tara usually return from working on the house. As JJ walked in the front door they could hear music from the kitchen, they followed the sound and found Tara singing to herself while cleaning up.
"What are you doing home?" JJ asked as she wrapped Tara in a hug.
"Hi to you too," Tara teased, "To answer, I know what time game night ends and I just wanted to be here, so we could hang out before we go to bed," she kissed JJ passionately, "Basically, I love you and I missed you."
"Love you too," JJ sighed.
They stood in the hug for a few moments, simply enjoying the connection. Even though they lived together, JJ sometimes felt like she barely spent one-on-one time with Tara. They'd get ready for work and go to bed together when JJ was in town, but with Tara's transfer from the BAU combined with her long hours working on the renovations most nights, the couple didn't have a ton of quality time together. They both loved having Emily over, time spent as a throuple was always important to all three of them, but as JJ cuddled into Tara's arms, she realised she couldn't remember the last time just the two of them carved out time to themselves.
"How did Pen like game night?" Tara asked while going to rummage in the freezer. She pulled out each of their favourite ice creams and grabbed two spoons before sitting down at the table.
Tara always had a way of knowing what JJ needed without her ever having to ask and she gladly accepted the pint of mint-chocolate chip she'd been snacking on all week. She took a large bite to give herself a few extra seconds before she'd inevitably have to explain what happened with Leo.
"Pen didn't come," JJ said simply as she shovelled more ice cream into her mouth.
"Why not? Baby, why didn't you call me? I would have gone to meet you, so you weren't alone."
"It's fine," JJ replied. "I wasn't alone...um, Leo actually came in Pen's place."
Tara leaned back in her chair, smirking at the idea of JJ and Leo spending time together. "Oh?"
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST
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blackbird-brewster · 11 months
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HOLY SHIT!!! Fooled Around - Part 3 has now garnered 1,000 hits on AO3 and I am speechless.
This series just means the world to me, and the fact other people have found it and enjoyed it as well is just the icing on the cake.
Part 3 is entirely self-indulgent. I've spent so much time on it (the longest amount of time I've ever spent on a fic!), and it's honeslty a slow burn so slow it begins in the ice-age. I've been writing and editing and re-writing and tweaking each chapter until it's perfect, and in doing so this fic has become my longest to date (just broke over 100k words with what I have pre-written)
I'm humbled by the love I've received so far. Thank you to all of you who are reading and commenting and just -- wow. Honestly, wow. <3
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blackbird-brewster · 7 months
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - NOW POSTED
It was one of those mornings where she felt on top of the world. Nothing could rain on JJ's parade, she was so full of gratitude for her partners, not even the awkward tension between her and Elle could pierce her joyous veil. JJ was so contented, she found herself almost prancing into the bullpen with an optimistic pep in her step.
"Morning Greenaway," JJ greeted in a sing-song.
Elle side-eyed her from her desk, "Hi?"
JJ beamed as Derek walked into the bullpen after her. "Good morning, Derek! How was your night?"
Derek offered an arched brow in skeptical reply. "Why the hell are you so energetic this early?"
"Dunno," JJ said. She started setting up her laptop, humming some song Emily had introduced her to under her breath.
"No, seriously," Derek said. He parked up next to her desk to interrogate her. "You're acting weird. What happened that's got you acting like Pen when they've had too much caffeine?"
"I'm not acting weird," JJ replied happily. "I'm just really glad to be home again, that's all."
Derek eyed her closely as everything fell into place, he let out a boisterous laugh. "Damn, Jareau. You got laid last night, huh?"
"Oh, whatever! And are you about to act like you didn't?" JJ jabbed a finger into his stomach.
"Hey!" Derek replied as he jumped back out of her reach. "I wasn't gonna bring it up, but I also won't deny it either. Luke and I had a really great night. You're right, there's no place like home."
JJ suddenly remembering her chat with Elle outside The Boot, regarding how she often felt alienated whenever her team members talked about their relationships. It was obvious that Elle was trying to act like she wasn't listening to the current conversation, but JJ could sense how uncomfortable she was.
"Alright, alright, enough about that," JJ decided with a shake of her head. "We don't need to discuss this right now, let's try to uphold at least some type of professionalism around here," she tried to change the subject, "Where's Matt this morning?"
"Sick kid," Derek dismissed while staring at her pointedly. "Back it up though, since when are you shy about your love life? Usually you're all too eager to talk my ear off about Tara and Emily," he put on his impression of JJ's voice, "Oh, Derek! They are the loves of my life! I can't believe how lucky I am!"
[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]
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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.
Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]
Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST
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blackbird-brewster · 1 year
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This is the first time I've really done any lead up time to a fic, and the first time I've decided to only post updates weekly to make it last longer, and I gotta say... I currently feel like a kid on Christmas eve!! Or maybe more like the night before school starts for the year
I've been writing this fic for a couple of months already, truly taking my time with it. Which in and of itself is a first as well. Part 1 (80k) was written in ten days. Part 2 (87k),written just under 3 weeks.
I mean fuck, i can't be wrong (to be craving you) which is 101k only took six weeks 😬😬
So for me to have already been working on Part 3 for over two months feels weird. In some ways it's given me more freedom to edit and rework it until its exactly what I imagined, and in other ways it's given me too much time to obsess about tiny issues. Idk if that makes sense.
It's just a totally different writing approach and I'm just hyped to finally start posting it!
Hopefully people enjoy it 🥰
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