#finally getting around to watching the 3rd season

[sonicrainicorn]

sonic prime really trying to make me ship sonadow like it's no big deal

#like what the fuck #finally getting around to watching the 3rd season #and like #what the fuck?? #that part #where shadow realizes nine wants sonic's energy #??? #you can't do this to me #you're meeting all my standards #sonic prime #ramblings of a mad man #sonadow #oops. forgot ppl dont like ship stuff sometimes

[kithtaehyung]

broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg

title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i've had time to make it something i'm proud of. trying to rush everything out didn't do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i'm sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: ...19.1k 🚶‍♀️

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Words abandon you.

They stand far from your form, pitying observers of your decaying state in front of the man you’ve been lying to. At once, you feel completely alone, not even Yoongi’s lingering presence helping when those eyes are piercing through time and space. Everything you’ve experienced over the past two years slings across your vision, from the first time you left your house in the pouring rain to get to Yoongi’s, to the car ride back you just took with his kiss still on your lips. 

All of those moments shattering into dust around your heels. 

Your feet make lines in them when you move to close the front door, something leaving your mouth before you can judge if it makes sense, “About what?” 

Zero sense. Absolute zero sense. Which your brother has absolute zero patience for. The drone in his question hits you like a punch to the gut, “Really.” 

“Just out late, is all,” you grumble, trying your best to not acknowledge an atmosphere so tense it’s almost crowded. “Jimin had another party, remember?” 

“Course I do.”

Huh? Wait. Why does he sound so—

“I was there.”

Dread launches up your veins, rocketing right to your heart in the middle of a pulse. He was there? You saw his car when Yoongi pulled up close to the house. He was there? When the fuck did he arrive? Oh, fuck, if he got there early enough… did he see you… and Yoongi…

No. There’s no way. Because one, Yoongi parked far down and around the corner. He made sure not to be close just in case you two could be spotted. 

With a thought you really cannot afford right now, you also assume he stayed that distance just so that he could pin you against his car. Fucking hell, focus! Upping the strength of your resolve to match cardboard, you lamely stall in your hunt for clarification, “You were?” 

“I was.” 

The watch on his wrist glints in its twist. When aggravated veins stare back at you, it’s obvious your brother is on the edge. Because he is deathly calm. “So where’d you go?” 

You blink, not having expelled a single breath since you stepped foot inside. 

Does he not know? Or does he know and he’s just waiting for you to finally spill? With all the hope in the universe, you yearn for it to be the first one. Because you cannot deal with a fallout right now. Not right after what happened with Yoongi. 

It’s just not the right time. 

“Yuri’s,” you blurt, finally kicking into gear and strategizing how you’re gonna finesse this. “She came and got me.” 

Your sibling just stands there, eyes a solid beam before he sighs at clasped wrists. 

Here it comes. He’s gonna ask why you didn’t say anything. Like he always does because for some reason you’re still not a true adult to him and he has to keep tabs on you at all times and you can’t just sneak around with his best friend in peace—

“K.” Your eyes shake once. “Just tell me next time.” 

And just like that, your brother vacates the foyer, dark dress shoes clacking as he retreats back into his room. Leaving you standing in silence. 

All the words around you just as speechless. 

Just like that, you’re gone again.

After watching you leave and wishing you didn’t have to, Yoongi shuts his door to rest ponderous thoughts on worn wood. Eyes closed and a storm on his mind’s horizon.

Just a little longer. He hopes you’ll understand. This is just something he needs. More than anything else. 

Exhausted, he peels himself from the door, meandering through the bog of his living room. Trudge, trudge, trudge to the dining table, skirting fingers along the edge and noting that it feels different than before. 

At least something in his apartment has changed for the better. 

Who would’ve thought that table would witness both an end and a beginning. That it would see the worst and best of him. If it was ever called to stand, there’s no doubt that it could recite all his failures and shortcomings. But he hopes that it would also attest to how much he’s fucking tried. 

As much as Yoongi wants to throw it out, he hasn’t. Because despite being withered to hell, all it needed to recover was the new company of a familiar face. 

And a little bit of summer rain. 

It watches as his thoughts move on, and soaks in the blues and pinks of sunrise as he crosses into the bedroom. At the feel of your lingering presence, Yoongi gnaws on his lip. 

What the fuck does he do now? The moment you leave, he wants nothing more than to have you back in his bed. It’s the one fact that he has come to fully acknowledge. Because there are many times you’ve caught him slipping. But when you’re lost to your dreams? Visibly at peace and safe under his sheets? That’s when he can’t even think straight. 

How your serenity throws him into disarray, Yoongi has no fucking clue.

But he can’t afford these feelings right now. Because how can he want you close while being the reason for this distance? Make it make sense. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite. Tsking, Yoongi once again accepts the consequences, heading to his bathroom before going back the fuck to sleep. 

Lies. Who is he kidding? There’s no way his rest will be the same without you. Especially since he doesn’t know when he’ll get to see you next. 

There is a way to remedy that. To put an end to your time apart. But Yoongi’s been so in his fucking head that it’s chaining him down and pulling taut. No matter how much he struggles, he can’t break free, and it’s driving him to the brink.

But last night? With you? Half moons mar his palms as he stands. Staring. Branding that whole memory into his heart.

After three months of questioning his existence. 

All it took was your soft hums to give him a reason. 

And you won’t ever know how much that meant to him. Not until Yoongi finally decides to tell you. Which will most likely be never. Maybe that’s why this time tears at his chest more than all the others. Maybe that’s why he stood in his doorway longer than usual. Maybe that’s why he can’t quite carry the weight in his chest.

Dumping himself on dark mountains—creations of his and your design—Yoongi buries his face in those valleys. Inhales those aromas like some hit he can live off of for however many days left he needs. 

Desperately grasping for a fading world where only you two exist. Drifting. Dreaming. Disarmed by a vibration on his nightstand.

The fuck.

Who is texting him this early. There are only a few people he has notifications on for wait it’s probably you saying you’re home.

Peeling himself off the sheets with a groan, Yoongi simply shifts his upper body to reach for his phone, squinty-eyed as he checks his screen.

And he doesn’t see your name.

Dumbass: 1 New Message

But your brother’s.

What the hell does he—

Dumbass [07:30]: We need to talk.

…Shit.

Yoongi grips his phone in panic, ice water streaming through his veins and mind set ablaze with potential scenarios.

He’s awake. You went home. And he’s awake. Fuck, did anything happen? Did you say anything? What are the chances this text means he found everything out? 

Shit. 

Does Yoongi answer now? Or does he sleep and pretend that this is just a text and isn’t a problem at all? Think. Your brother may not even be referencing you, or him. Right? It could be something completely different. 

Why can’t he fucking move? 

Every regret Yoongi’s kept at bay floods his brain, crashing into assumptions of your mental state and creating a massive whirlpool of dread. Just answer. Don’t answer. Just answer. Don’t fucking answer. Suddenly, another alert lights his home screen and it’s a call oh fuck—wait… It’s Jungkook? 

Why not. Sure. What’s one more issue. 

Picking up, Yoongi runs hard fingers through his hair as he answers.

“Hey, you coming?”

“Huh?”

“We have that session in thirty.”

The what. The session? Oh, fuck. The session. Yoongi completely forgot they had a recording booked today because they were so hyped last night to get a date for the release party shit. Vacating his bed, Yoongi answers with a low, “Yeah, I’ll be there.” 

“Yeah, don’t be late. It’s those guys from before.” 

Fuck, it’s that one. The dudes that stopped by the studio just as things were wrapping up, shocking everyone when they scheduled some time. Highly successful musicians and performers booking something with a no name studio? Things are rolling in the right direction and coming along fast. 

But as things go. If they don’t take this shit seriously, everything can crash just as quickly.

“Heading out,” Yoongi finally says as he yanks a hoodie from his closet, and a loud vibration against his ear makes him flinch. 

Dumbass [7:40]: Heading over

Fuck!

“You okay?” 

“Shit, yeah.” Yoongi grips soft material before his phone hits his desk with a thump. Hastily dressing, he grunts, “Maybe. Might be like two minutes late.” 

“Nah, come now.” 

He’s heading over? Your brother? If that’s the case, there’s no way he doesn’t know. 

Fuck, relax. Don’t overthink. If anything, there wouldn’t have even been a heads-up. Yoongi figures he’d just find out as soon as he’s thrown against a wall. Or the ground. Or right onto his coffee table that this very guy helped pick out. Shit, he needs to know but he doesn’t wanna find out. 

But nevermind him. Are you okay? Swiping his device, Yoongi quickly types a text before fast-walking out of his room, going on autopilot when he assures into his receiver, “I’ll get there.” 

Yoongi [7:42]: Going to the studio

“On time? You better!”

Goddamn, he’s juggling too much right now. 

As Yoongi breaks into the dining room, he hears a rustling on the line before other voices jut through the speaker. Sounds like Hobi and Joon are already there, and the next thing said further spikes his stress level another peak, 

“We’re already cutting it close with the prep.” 

Fucking hell, the prep. The mics, the tracks, the setup. They forgot to do all of it. Something inside of him starts snarling and almost pounces through the phone, “Fuck, we should’ve been ready already.” 

“Shit, I know.” 

“We can’t keep doing this.” 

“Dude, relax, I get it.” 

“Do you? Cus this is… Fuck.” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get it done but it’s gonna be tight. Hey, where’s the… Damn it, what’s it called?”

Frustrated and rummaging through his pantry, Yoongi knows he sure as hell didn’t think about anything else as soon as he heard you crying on the line. If he had remembered while leaving the studio, he could’ve spared a brain cell to rush everyone back in. “The what.” 

“The… The overhead mic for the drums.” 

Of course, he’d repeat every decision he made last night. Over, and over, and over again. But any of them should’ve remembered this step before leaving, which pisses him off. The studio’s lack of experience is showing and it’s making him nervous. 

And Yoongi still doesn’t know what’s going on with his best friend. 

“We need two overheads for drums,” he corrects while swiping a water bottle from the counter. And he’s about to rattle off where they are when he feels another long buzz. 

Dumbass: Incoming Call 

Of fucking course. 

Mind whirring so hard he can feel steam, Yoongi quickly recalls where the mics are, “They’re somewhere in the back by the amps, but I gotta take this so I’ll see y’all there.” 

“Wait, where are the—”

Nope. Kook’s just gonna have to figure out whatever he’s asking on his own. Switching calls, Yoongi answers while opening his door, hastily putting out the food and water he grabbed from the kitchen. 

“Hey.” Fuck, is his voice shaking? What the hell is he gonna be faced with in the next few seconds? Can he freeze time and rewind and keep last night on repeat? “I’m about to head out.” 

“Don’t leave yet, I’m coming.” 

“No, just”—Yoongi dashes back inside before grabbing his wallet and keys from the bar—“You good? I can’t be late.” 

“Don’t lie. Y’all are done, right?” 

Don’t lie. Yoongi feels like hurling. 

“We got another project,” he huffs as he meets sunrise again, blazing a trail through his corridor and rounding the corner to his car. “A band’s coming in for a session.”

“Shit.”

There’s a pause on the line. And it’s the first bit of silence Yoongi’s had since he got the first bone-chilling text. Is his secret safe? Are you okay? Should he work extra late and run from a problem yet again? He’s very good at that. Running. If there was a medal for distance ran from issues, he’d be on the podium for both gold and silver.

“Okay, fine.” 

Relief is temporary. This could just be him biding his time in order to figure out what to do. Or maybe he truly doesn’t know what’s going on and Yoongi has a bit more uninterrupted time with you. 

Delusion is a great place to stay.

In any case, his friend’s behavior is alarming. What’s he doing up this early? And why is he wanting to swing by so bad if not to slice him into tiny pieces? Nerves slow on the downslope, Yoongi shuts his car door and lends his ear, “But serious, are you okay?”

“I just… Tch. I can’t even say it.”

He lets his friend go through a series of small sounds on the line, pulling out of the lot and hitting the road with tire squeaks. “What’s up,” he finally pushes, looking sideways and remembering the car ride home. 

There was no way Yoongi was gonna say no to you. He didn’t in this universe, and he’d bet his whole life he doesn’t in any other one, either. Not when your wings looked like you hadn’t used them in months.    

Pained, Yoongi hopes you’re completely fine and sleeping. Tucked away in a bed that captured part of his heart, visiting him in your dreams so that some version of him can be at your side. 

“Everything, Yoong.” 

But, as it so starkly turns out, he has to deal with reality. And with the fact that you’re just as far away as you were before last night. Maybe even further out of reach. 

So, so far away. 

“There’s a ton of shit, but. Fuck. Guess we’ll have to wait.”

Right now, deal with the studio prep and get through the session that will probably take awhile. After that, meet up with your brother and hope to god he doesn’t know. “K.”

“Just lemme know when you get back.”

Then, when all of that is done, Yoongi will be alone. Staring into the night and trying his hardest not to give up on himself again. “Yeah, I will.” 

“No running.”

“K.”

When the call ends, Yoongi lets out the harshest breath he’s ever let out in his life. Hoping you went right to sleep without dealing with any of that. 

“How did that sound?” 

Looking into the recording room, Yoongi raises a thumbs up as Hoseok clicks back to the beginning of the track. At their side, Namjoon hits a button on the console before speaking into a microphone, “Y’all wanna come hear it?” 

“We can move on. Wanna get the doubling done.” 

Huh? They’re gonna move onto vocal doubling already? With a few blinks, Yoongi think it’d be better if they—

“Okay!” Jungkook agrees from the couch, cutting out any other thoughts. “If any of you need adjustments, let us know.” 

“Yeah, actually, can one of you come switch this out?” 

Joon throws a suggestion over his shoulder, but Yoongi is already heading for the booth before his name is even mentioned. 

Get everything done smooth. Stay disciplined. Be professional, goddamn it.

Entering the soundproofed room will always make him want to occupy the mic instead. That feeling hasn’t gone away, and there have been countless nights where he’s spent time just sitting in this very space, visualizing what it would be like to work on this side of the glass someday. Deep down, Yoongi knows he could be somebody. But imposter syndrome runs deep. 

Avoiding cables strewn about the room, he offers his hands without a word, taking a guitar from the lead singer and making his leave—

“Hey.” He turns. “You’re good.” 

What? Where the hell did that come from? Did he even hear this guy right or was he just daydreaming again? Yoongi’s so thrown he can only stare with question marks for eyes. 

Amused, the singer simply points to the side of his beaming countenance. “You have an ear.” 

Huh. How the hell can this dude tell? All Yoongi’s done is indicate if a recording take was good or not, and given a few minuscule suggestions to the keyboardist and guitarist—instruments he’s well-versed in. 

Yet again, he’s so in his head that the man outright laughs, “Relax! You can talk to us like normal, you know. None of us care about etiquette shit.” 

“Shit, my bad,” Yoongi finally responds, instrument in his hands proving a little lighter. “Thanks.” 

“Of course.” Swishing long bangs to the side, the performer rests a hand on his hip. “We’re open to anything. We’d just tell you if your opinion sucks.” 

Eyes creasing with his lips, Yoongi puffs out a laugh. 

“Kidding. Only a little.”

Even though these people are world-renowned, they’re the first humble group to run through the studio. Everyone else has been either cocky, standoffish, or super opinionated, which made for unproductive hours.

Yoongi likes this change of pace. His shoulders start to feel composed, less scrunched than they had been since you left his place this morning. Comforted, he looks down at the guitar in his fingers.

Choosing not to say what he wants to. 

Should he? Nah. These guys know what they’re doing. Despite the nice offer to speak up, it’s not his place. Far from it. 

…But what would you tell him to do? What would you be proud of?

Committed to his answer, Yoongi grips the neck and decides without another thought, 

“Do the chorus again.” 

The whole studio stills. But all he’s looking at is the man in front of him, shaking his head when they ask, “Same way?” 

“Uhm. No.” As he hands the guitar back, Yoongi wordlessly checks if he can see the sheet music. When given the go-ahead, he scans the lines before pointing out a passage to note, 

“Mm. Here. Vocals are fine as is, but. Ride the build-up quicker and hit the next chord after a bit longer.” When he stops, he has to fight to ignore the eyes on him. There’s no doubt that his extended time in the recording room is being questioned, and his hand movements probably make him look stupid. “It’ll keep in time but hit harder.” 

Done. He said it. 

And the response that follows puts complete silence to shame. 

Instantly self-conscious, Yoongi swears he can hear Hobi’s pants shift in the control room through two closed doors shit he took it too far. Fuck, if these guys walk out now the studio is done for and he’ll be the only reason why—

“Well, goddamn. Let’s try that then.” 

Huh. They’re gonna take that? 

As he steps away, Yoongi feels slightly awkward doused in attention. Yeah, expressions seem like looks of approval, but they could just be polite. 

The man hums the chorus with Yoongi’s notes in mind, and his eyebrows tick a bit before he addresses the others in the room, “You heard him?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Yeah, we can try that.”

“Why didn’t you think of that, Woosung?”

Yoongi can’t keep his amusement under wraps as the singer laughs, addressing his keyboardist with a grin, “Damn, not even Sammy? Straight to Woosung, huh.”

“Sammy would’ve thought of it.”

Another bout of mirth spreads joy around the recording booth, and Yoongi shares a look with the singer before they both nod. 

“Let’s see how it sounds.” 

“K.”

Proud and adrenaline-filled, he turns to walk back to the door, head so buzzed he doesn’t know what to do. But when Yoongi can’t see into the control room anymore, he misses a stare through the glass.

A stare that lingers on him just a little too long. 

The rest of the session goes smooth, and Yoongi’s relieved that they haven’t asked him for anything else. 

After all. He doesn’t wanna push it, or step on Jungkook’s toes. What happened in the recording room only went down because you would have scolded him for not seizing that moment. And the suggestion he gave was lauded after the next take.

It was the first time since you kissed him goodbye that he felt a healthy pulse in his chest. Despite the chaos of the morning, amid the thoughts and worries penetrating his brain, you reached out and kept him steady in just the right moment. 

Fuck being his good luck charm. You give guardian angels shame and you don’t even know it. 

“Okay, we’ll take ten after this.”

Jungkook holds up an arm while agreeing, “Okay! We’ll save what we got!” 

Yoongi’s scanning the tracks when he feels hovering over his shoulder, and he already knows it’s the kid without looking. “Sup.”

“Nothing.”

“You sure.”

At this, Jungkook pauses before he sighs. “Yeah, it’s nothing,” he clearly lies. 

But Yoongi will let him figure out whether to run with that or not. He seems a little bothered about something, and it very well could be what happened in the booth. This is work, and they’re both adults. If he wants to talk about something, Yoongi will gladly have that conversation. 

Suddenly, a vibration erupts in his hoodie pocket, and his phone is fished out without him even thinking. 

Hustler: Incoming C—

Shit. You wouldn’t call him at work unless it’s urgent. Which is quickly throwing any possible theories about your brother not knowing out the window. 

But fuck, he can’t answer yet. There’s no way. Not only is he in very close range to someone you don’t wanna speak to right now, but he’d get blasted for being on his phone during a session. Hoping you can wait just two more minutes, Yoongi turns the buzzing off within his hoodie pocket, anxiously waiting for the take to start. 

Hoping to everything that Jungkook didn’t happen to see what was on his screen. 

As soon as everyone looks pleased—three takes and thirty minutes later—Yoongi quickly excuses himself from the control room. His head practically overheats on the way out back, but the gust of morning breeze serves to soothe it some. 

It’s been chilly lately. A bit grey. But whatever the weather has been outside, it’s no match for the atmosphere of his brain. 

Pulling his hood over hair he hasn’t cut in months, Yoongi looks around before ringing you up. Hoping that you’re good and didn’t have to go through a version of his panic earlier. 

Hustler: Outgoing Call 

Straight to voicemail? Shit.

Hustler: Outgoing Call

Fuck, still voicemail. Are you okay? On the phone with someone else? Did your brother actually end up finding out and things are worse than he thought? Clutching his phone, Yoongi glances up while giving it slight shakes, body on alert while deciding what the hell to do now. 

Maybe he can at least text you to ask what the hell happened this morning? Typing. Erasing. Retyping. Retrying. 

Yoongi [9:02]: Got a session today, doll. 

That’s what he had to say? That won’t do you any good, the fuck? Berating himself with a sigh, he takes a few steps while texting a follow-up. 

Yoongi [9:03]: Still going, but are you good?

Staring, it takes him a few seconds to decide if this is enough. If these two messages are gonna suffice to help him figure out what the hell he’s getting into later. 

It’s not. There’s too much he needs to know. 

Hustler: Outgoing Call 

When it doesn’t ring a third time, Yoongi gives up, cursing before turning and raking his hood off in distress.

Only to see Woosung materializing out of nowhere—relaxed, silent, and taking a drag. 

Shit. How much of that did he witness?

“Been there,” the man empathizes, blowing out smoke into crisp morning. After a swell of early traffic fills the alleyway, he continues, “In trouble?”

Great. With a sound of dejection, Yoongi answers to a stack of random boxes, “Might be.” 

“Don’t wanna commit anymore?” 

“I do,” Yoongi blurts without hesitation, looking right into eyes that have seen plenty more than he has. 

And it’s the first time he’s admitted anything out loud. To a stranger miles above him in status, no less. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he clarifies, “It’s just… There’s something I need to do first.” 

Wait a sec. Why the fuck is he talking about this so freely? This isn’t something he does. Privacy is practically his brand. So why is it easy to talk to this guy? It’s him, for fuck’s sake. But what’s done is done. Woosung probably won’t even remember this conversation even happened, or is already annoyed as hell he didn’t get a good read on him. 

To Yoongi’s surprise, his alley companion speaks again after another white wisp. “Mmm… Something you need to do?”

Well. Yoongi walked right into this one. Swallowing and knowing he can’t dip out, he sighs, “Some shit I wanna finish.” The smell of tobacco wafts around him when he looks at dulled skies. “Shit I need to get through.” 

An amused hum floats through empty space. “Been there, too.” 

Yoongi slowly turns to regard his client, watching as Woosung becomes very interested in wet concrete.

What kind of shit has this guy seen? Surely, he could have had some of the same experiences. The slight droop in his confident shoulders tells enough. But would he understand the exact same situation? 

No. At least, Yoongi hopes not. Quite fucking frankly, he hopes no one has had to go through the same shit that he has. 

“Let me know if you ever need help,” Woosung offers, shocking Yoongi to the point of speechlessness. As he drops his cigarette to squash it out, he runs a hand through wild dark locks. “We’ll be around again.” 

Wait. What? Yoongi can only blink. “Serious?”

“Yeah.” The man looks down the outside corridor, watching as people start heading to their jobs through a central courtyard. “Got a good feeling about this place.”

What does he mean by that. What can Woosung possibly mean by that what does he mean they’ll be back? To the studio? To the city? What’s happening. Yoongi simply lets a pause prevail before offering the only response he’s capable of,

“It’s the food next door, huh.”

That laugh has got to be top five in the world. Not as great as yours, but definitely up there in terms of what makes Yoongi feel like things are alright. Not that he’d ever admit that shit to anyone. Ever.

Mercifully, the conversation moves away from risky topics. Instead, there are talks about a tour one is planning for his band’s album, mixed in with mentions of equipment the other is saving up for. Then the rest isn’t about music at all.

Finally, it’s time for them to continue recording, so they know to head back inside. “Don’t wait,” Woosung advises as he turns on his heel. 

And Yoongi can only stare somewhere else. 

“If there’s something you need to get through...” 

Stare, and stare, and stare some more.

“Hit it until it breaks.”

Because he’s already aware. More than anyone.

As Woosung shuts the back door, Yoongi’s gaze finds the crushed cigarette at his side. Another reminder of how things were.

And a reminder that he’s still a fucking coward.

Hours later, Yoongi’s car awaits him in the lot. 

And when he realizes that you still haven’t responded, he shuts his door just a little too hard. 

Whenever his friend comes over for drinks, it’s always the same routine. 

Both of them don’t talk much, instead opting for a quiet greeting before someone dumps themselves on the couch while the other grabs a bottle and cups in the kitchen. As soon as glasses are filled, conversation sparks as a game plays out on tv—or a sportscasting show if nothing interesting is airing. 

But this time? None of it happens that way. Because when Yoongi opens his door, he’s pinned with a shadowed visage he's only seen piercing through others. 

And the whole arctic starts to seep into his bloodstream.

Raising a brow and giving space is his chosen course of action. Best to not disturb a beast if they’re already ready to lunge.

And his friend eyes him as he stalks into the house, scanning around in search of something—living room, dining table, even looking into the open doorway of the bedroom. 

Fuck. Relax. Don’t assume anything until things are on the table. Yoongi has got to pretend like tonight is normal and fine and that he’s obviously and positively not seeing and sleeping with his friend’s little sister. 

And that he most definitely didn’t eat you out where your brother is sitting now motherfucker he needs a drink. Or a smoke. Or both with a plane ticket out of the whole country. 

At least the television is already on. If it wasn’t for that ambiance, Yoongi’s head would be jam packed with every goddamn sound known to man. Including the adorable way you talk in your sleep, and how you strain so beautifully when you come fuck, fuck, fuck! Focus. 

What’s happened has happened. And what’s going to happen will happen. Whether it’s a consequence of his actions, or nothing to do with any of this at all. 

But when faced with everything smushing together at once? Yoongi will probably need to be revived no matter what the outcome. This is the most stressed out he’s been in years. 

Not only that, but his stress is more than obvious. Even now in the kitchen, he’s scanning through his bottles with a finger—an action he’s never done while sober since the choices are always predictable. Holy shit, he needs to pull it together. 

Has he ever been this panicked? Does he appear just as chaotic and disjointed as he feels? This is too new. This is very new and if he doesn’t regain control there’s no telling where this foreign road leads.

But the silence still remains as he turns. And apparently the road hits a dead end at his dining table. Since it’s occupied rather than the living room sofa. 

Sighing, Yoongi ambles to his friend, placing everything down with clinks and ignoring the way his furniture is getting burned through. Both whisky’s are ready. Yoongi’s already holding his. And your brother still hasn’t moved a muscle. Honestly, what the fuck is going on with—

“I went to Jimin’s last night.”

…What. 

Don’t react. He’s staring. Don’t fucking react. Take a drink. A sip. Pick up the goddamn glass. Doing so, Yoongi slowly brings the liquid to his lips, not quite following his own instructions as he asks behind a barrier, “How was it.”

His question is met with a laugh that isn’t funny at all. The kind that drags a finger along the chalkboard of your soul. And the next question directed his way pulverizes Yoongi’s denial,

“Care to share what’s been going on?”

He’s sick. Beyond sick. The room is closing in and closing in too fucking fast. Shit shit shit. There’s no way he saw. No fucking way. He parked down the street he deliberately stopped as far away as possible and you saw your brother’s car in your driveway. Did he get there after you left? And didn’t see you while also not hearing from hi—

“Why her, Yoong? Hmm?”

Fuck! 

Yoongi can’t feel the air in his lungs. Because there isn’t any. Just a barren wasteland of shriveled futures and cracks in the foundation of every relationship he’s had in his whole life. The millisecond before a crash and only his wheels spinning and spinning and spinning—

Your brother shoots out of the chair, making the glass in Yoongi’s palm feel infinitely more solid.

“I mean, fuck! After all the shit we’ve been through? You’re gonna go back to her?”

All the—shit, he can’t even—back to? Back to you? What does he mean by back to you? Does he know about the first ti—

Volcanic, the man interrogating paces beside the dining table. Back and forth, back and forth. A pause. Back and forth.

And Yoongi still feels frozen in time. Is this it? Is this when things come crashing down? Glass suspends in midair all around him; an orchestra trembles beneath his feet, waiting for the moment to rip into his rib cage with swift strokes and a flourish as he’s taken down. 

“Can’t fucking believe you.”

When Yoongi finally chooses to speak, what comes out only feels like a horrible attempt more than anything else, “Listen, it’s my fau—”

“What, you just decided to fuck that bitch again? Couldn’t stay away?”

Oh, fuck that. 

Wood scrapes into flooring as Yoongi vacates his chair, hard feet planted as he gets into the face of his best friend, his confidant, his day one. Only to speak so low only them two can hear, “How bout you use your fucking words already and I’ll tell you.”

“Yeah? Is that what you want?” They are only a breath apart. But no one’s going anywhere now. “Need me to spell it out for that fuckass brain of yours—”

“Say it—”

“Stop fucking your ex, dude!”

Yoongi’s back connects with the chair behind him, palms flinging back to brace himself through a jolt of pain. And his eyes go so wide they stretch at the edges.

…Motherfucker, what?

Your brother is not done in the slightest, but Yoongi can only stare as he’s being berated for something that is one-hundred percent news to him, too. 

“Everyone was happy when you finally left. All of us. Only for you to go and, what, get back with her?”

Nothing makes sense. This isn’t about you? Yoongi’s heart can’t even reset to start beating again. Everything is coming as shock after shock and there’s no way he can keep up at this pace.

His ex? Her? Where the fuck did that come from and why the hell does he of all people think that’s actually true?

“If you’re gonna be with her, you can count me out.” 

No. Never again. That would never, ever happen again. “The fuck are you even saying—”

“I’m not fucking joking, Yoong. If you’re seriously back with her then—”

“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you heard, but I’m not.”

“So everything I heard was a lie?”

“Huh?”

“He told me!”

He—who? Who the fuck would say that? And when how what the fuck and why? Yoongi stares, chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Because he has a choice to make. Either he trudges into this lie and rubs sludge all over his bones, or he denies it like he wants because it’s not fucking true.

What the actual fuck. It’s already bad enough that someone sent this along the rumor mill. And it’s making him sick thinking about all the implications surrounding it. But it’s even worse that his best friend believes it so easily. He’s coming at him so quick without even asking if it’s true. 

The only silver lining—the singular bright spot in this hellhole—is that he can use it as an out. An out to protect you from wrath and further fury from your older sibling because if you were the rumor? He’d be laid flat on his floor next to a broken dining set.

“You gonna say anything or what?” 

Truthfully, Yoongi feels queasy knowing what he’s gonna do. But it’s for you. You, you, you. And for that, Yoongi will do anything. 

Even if it kills him.

“No, I, umm…” 

“No?” 

Just hurry up and fucking do it. 

Resigned, Yoongi lets the memories flood through. Every moment that’s haunted him from a distance charges forward as he surrenders to the pain of his past. “It’s—” Fuck, he can’t even begin to lie, head thundering, thundering, striking his heart in the rain. “I...” 

His friend halts. Tense before his shoulders fall back to normal. “You what.”

What the fuck does Yoongi do? What can he say when his brain is only firing up to beg him to run? Technically, he doesn’t have to say anything. He really doesn’t. But he can deflect. It’s what he’s best at, after all. He’s been doing it to you and he will do it again.

In the most defeated voice he can muster, Yoongi comes up with something that will placate his friend while still prolonging this horrid fib, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” 

“You sure?”

It’s true. More true than anything. “It’s over now.” 

A century passes. Then another. Then another. Every piece of furniture waits in silence as the television seeps back into his ears. 

Then his friend sighs, not looking back as he slumps into the same chair that you always occupy. And Yoongi hopes his sigh of conflicted relief isn’t witnessed. 

Following suit, he rubs his lower back before taking his regular seat again, not giving any shits about waiting to drink. 

His ex? 

As his throat warms, Yoongi starts to harden the more memories keep crashing into each other like jagged waves fuck he really hates how she was brought into this he swears as soon as he figures out who said this he is going to—

“Sorry.” Haze shattered, he lifts his gaze. “I’m so fucking stressed and hearing that last night just…”

“It’s done.” Yoongi reaches for the thick bottle, pouring more into his glencairn. Wanting to talk about literally anything else, he diverts the conversation, “But something else is up with you so say it.”

It works. The man inhales deep, rubbing his face with weary hands. When he rests elbows on wood, he finally talks about other things clouding his mind,

“Work is shit,” he groans downward. “They’re having me travel again.” 

“Domestic?”

“Yeah. But for longer. And I don’t…” Tapering off, he sits back, slowly playing with his glass. As if he doesn’t want to mention the next problem. 

When he finally does, Yoongi wholeheartedly understands the hesitation, “I dunno know what’s going on with my sister.”

Oh. Fuck, how the hell does he respond? Keeping his cool, Yoongi just repeats the question, taking out his phone and pretending to check his screen. “Your sister?”

“Yeah.” A sigh is sandwiched between explanations. “The past few months, I feel like.. They haven’t really been themselves.” 

A sudden crack splits him through.

“Not laughing. Not eating as much. Like even when they sound happy, I can tell it’s a front.. I don’t know.” 

The clunk of his phone hits the table very hard. 

No. No, no, no. Your texts have been so positive. So encouraging. Other than a few sad calls, you’ve been happy to hear from him just as he had been relieved to hear from you. Even in the car, you must’ve put your feelings lightly. 

Your wings. You’ve been enduring all that? For him? Yoongi’s heart rears its head, snagging one of his breaths and slamming both lungs into the floor.

And hatred paints his heart another shade darker.

“They finally went out last night, but. Didn’t come back until this morning.” Running rigid hands through his head, the man looks so pained. So helpless. “Same clothes, dude.” 

And Yoongi can only stare, feigning nonchalance but raging and tearing himself apart inside. “Mm.”

“I just… I know I suck at this, but. I don’t know what the hell to do. Or if I even do anything.” Your brother finally takes a swig, wincing at how much ethanol coats his tongue. 

Relax, relax, relax. As much as he wants to erupt on himself right now, Yoongi has to stay calm.

Not like he doesn’t know how. That’s usually how he operates, anyway. It’s hard to tell he’s struggling unless you look deep enough. And almost no one thinks to do so because his surface is all they want. 

But right now? He doesn’t think he can sequester this anger any longer. At him, his past, and his stupid present decisions. 

“Like I tried to say something but I just.. I felt like if I push too hard, they’re gonna shut down even more. Ever since that fight with Kook, it’s like..” 

Seeing an opening and keeping a neutral stance, Yoongi asks the most ironic question to date, “Are they seeing someone?”

At this, his friend shakes his head, eyes glued to dark amber liquid. When he answers, all the breaths in the world cut at once, 

“I think she feels all alone.” 

This hit is the strongest. Straight to the gut, breath stuttering and muscles clenching so hard they lock. It’s almost severe enough to affect how Yoongi feels around his eyes. 

“And it sucks not knowing what to do.”

Yoongi’s heart lurches, deflating and slipping out of the crack in his chest. Piercing on the jagged edges before slumping down onto a table that continues to judge him.  

You’re hurting. Your brother’s hurting. And it’s all his goddamn fault. Why can’t he just break free and admit shit? Why is he still haunted by the phantoms of his past? Why is he still so fucking weak? It’s clear that he hurt you. For months. You’ve been cheering for him that whole time while you’ve been visibly broken and it’s all because of his dumbass decision to—

“I’m heading out again.”

Yoongi raises his eyes. Because he can’t seem to move anything else. “When.”

Your older sibling takes a slower, more measured sip. Looking towards the channel playing in the living room, he answers, “After our game. Dinner Friday, game on Saturday, fly out Sunday.” 

“Mm. We’ll still be here,” Yoongi assures, keeping things as normal and neutral as he can. “Just like last time.”

How ironic. How hypocritical. He hasn’t been there for you in the slightest so how the fuck can he say that with a straight face. 

“Thanks. I know it’s a lot for y’all but..”

Not at all. Yoongi is more determined than ever to make everything up to you. It’s the least he can do after putting you through something he decided on the fly. 

On the run.

“Don’t worry about that,” he vows into his drink. Honestly, if you’ve been having second thoughts about this whole thing, he doesn’t blame you. Absolutely doesn’t blame you if you realize you’re better than this. But Yoongi’s at least gonna apologize in every single way he can. As soon as he possibly can. “We got it.” 

“K.” The man finishes his glass and goes to pour more. “Did I ever mention that she liked you?”

Now what— Coughing on whisky is a bitch and a half. Hitting his chest while both eyes squint from burn, Yoongi croaks out his exact thoughts, “What.”

At this, his friend finally breaks into his regular smile. Setting the bottle down with a hollow clunk, he points, “Don’t you fucking get any ideas. Jimin’s already on my shit list.” He scoffs out a laugh. “But it was obvious when we were younger.”

And Yoongi can only cough some more. He shakes his head through the sting, swallowing and trying to compose himself. He doesn’t know where the hell that came from, but he hopes your brother will understand when all is said and done. Even though he’s been the reason you’ve been so…

Yoongi almost fucking confesses.

“You’re a good person,” he blurts instead. Whether the guilt or last cough pushed it out, that’s still on the table. “You don’t suck at what you think you do.”

“You think so?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

The hell? Does this dude really not see how successful he is? How much he’s overcome and conquered and sacrificed? Truthfully, Yoongi wouldn’t be where he is today if not for your brother. Him. Jimin. You. Anybody. Which is what makes this ongoing betrayal… 

Unprecedented.  

“You’re the best out of all of us.” 

Your brother finally looks at him, though Yoongi isn’t doing the same. But he can still tell when a fist is held out for him to bump, so he does.

And they both share a drink in respectful silence. 

After a moment of them watching the tv, the man finally sighs. “Guess we did shape up pretty nice.” When he’s agreed with, he keeps going with a grin. “We were so fucking bad.”

Yoongi can only chuckle, much better memories fighting off the terrors. “Old me was a little shit.”

“You still are.”

“Says you!”

“I still am, too!”

Laughs precede big swigs of whisky and comfortable quiet. Bit by bit, shoulders start to relax with the surrounding air, and Yoongi lazily releases tension in his neck. 

After a few more pours, your brother decides to call it, using the bathroom before announcing that he’s gonna head out. Yoongi gets up from his chair to clasp hands goodbye, not expecting to hear one more plea,

“Break up with her, Yoong.” 

Shit. He sighs, and their conversation continues from the dining table to the front door. “It’s not like that.” 

“Yeah?” 

“It’s over now.” 

“For good?” As they stop beside the coat closet, your brother pins him with a look. “I was about to drive over and break down the door.”

Even though Yoongi shares a tsk with him, he can’t help but imagine what could’ve happened if that was the case. And it sends an unwanted jolt of chills. 

“Serious. I’m gonna keep saying this, but. she was just making you miserable, dude.” He slips on his shoes, smacking his foot on the ground to push one in place. “I’m sure it was good at first, but I mean… You gotta move on. You deserve better than that.” 

Anything would be better than that. Yoongi just disagrees with the whole deserving part. “I guess.” 

“You sure it’s over?”

“Yeah,” he assures, because that is something he intends to keep true forever. “It is.” 

“Good.” Keys jingling, your sibling then points into the open area with his whole arm, seven words leaving his mouth like ice, 

“Then get rid of that fucking guitar.” 

Ah. Among all the things. Of course he would bring that up, too. Jaw working, Yoongi looks away, now assaulted by all the torturous thoughts surrounding that painful reminder and fighting them off with no success. 

Get rid of it? He’s been trying. 

For three. Fucking. Months. 

“I might.” 

“…K.” 

And his best friend departs, leaving Yoongi inside and staring at the same black spot he’s kept in the corner for years. It has mocked him as he struggles. Laughed at him whenever he’s tried to throw it out. And aside from the times he’s made you feel better stinging himself on those strings, he has accomplished nothing except letting it win.

Pissed off and doused in guilt, Yoongi yanks himself away from the door, the instrument, and everything else except for his bed.

Keeping his shadow exactly where it stands. 

Yoongi knows he needs to talk to you.

But his phone exists somewhere on the other side of his bedroom door.

And he doesn’t have the strength to go get it. 

What time is it? 

All that greets him is darkness. 

Nothing new, but darkness all the same. 

Why was she mentioned? What does that mean? 

He needs to call you. He’s lying to his best friend. 

Her? You. His sheets still smell like you. 

Inhale. Breathe. Inhale. 

He needs to call you. But he’s so, so tired. 

And the darkness pulls him back under. 

Without even telling him the time. 

Buzzing. 

Faint, gentle buzzing softly lifts Yoongi’s eyelids before a loud series of smacks causes him to rush out of bed what the fuck? 

Oh. His phone fell outside. Fucking hell, his heart’s beating way too quick for that to be the only thing that happened. 

Head in his hands, Yoongi sighs deep before making his way to the dining table. And it takes all of his strength to bend down to reach for his phone. 

Hustler: Missed Calls (6)

Dumbass: 1 Message

Hustler: 3 Messages 

Chim: 7 Messages   

Chim: Missed Calls (3) 

Holy fuck. 

With only the light of his phone illuminating the dark, Yoongi rings Jimin up. His heart’s a little disappointed it wasn’t you calling just now, but it’s probably best to stay away while his brain is so scattered and torn. 

“Oh, fuck. There you are.” 

“Mm.” 

“Don’t scare me like that, bro. I was starting to get ready to drive over—” 

“It’s fine,” he juts in. “What’s up.” 

Alright, maybe he shouldn’t be an asshole. There’s no reason to let his lingering shadow from earlier control his temper now. Jimin’s just being himself, for fuck’s sake. 

“I, umm. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” 

Now that’s not what Yoongi expected at all. “For what?” 

There’s another pause on the line, and his reaction is immediate when he knows for a fact Jimin is fighting back tears. 

“I… I got so drunk last night, I—And I—”

Shit. A sinking feeling starts to weigh Yoongi down, his center pulling the rest of him in like a black hole. And he doesn’t need to hear the rest of this to know what this call is about. 

“He was looking for her, Yoong, and you weren’t there, either. He had this look, I—I couldn’t think of anything else to say in the moment and I told him—”

Jimin can’t even finish his confession. And it hits right in the gut. 

Despite his perceived persona, Yoongi doesn’t like hearing people cry. At least, if they don’t deserve to or don’t deserve to be sad—or if they’re you. He could care less about the rest.

But Jimin is one of the only people that can get him like this: eyes stinging at their edges and his chest concave. In the dark, though, no one can tell. No one can see him.

So he can openly swipe at his eyes before dumping tired limbs into a chair, catching his forehead in a damp palm. 

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” 

Exhaling through his nose, Yoongi tries his best to calm his emotions. Because they are still raging and it’s going to take all of him to quell this tempest. 

Jimin knows more than anyone what this means to him. To you. The time you spent apart? If it wasn’t for his friend, Yoongi may have been in a much different position. If this was the only thing Park could do, then his effort has to be acknowledged. It worked like a fucking charm.

But goddamn, Yoongi wishes Jimin thought of literally anything else. He could’ve made up some random, some fling from another city, the damn studio itself. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he finally rasps out. “It’s just been a fuckin’ day.” 

Jimin sniffles before cursing at himself and, judging by the sounds on the line, Yoongi figures he’s opening his fridge. If he reaches for soju, that would not be surprising in the least, and now that sounds like a good idea.

“Same. Gah, I just… I should’ve warned you. I didn’t know he went over there.” 

“He told you?” 

“I called him after you didn’t answer earlier.” 

“Oh. Yeah, I passed out after he left.” 

“Ah.” 

Something shuts before there’s a crisp clink on the line, validating exactly what Yoongi was thinking. 

“I really am sorry. What did you end up saying?” 

“That it’s done.” 

A hum. 

“That’s very true.” 

There’s a question that Yoongi thinks to ask. Context that he needs. But as important as this information is, Yoongi doesn’t feel like talking about it right now. Or ever. But now still counts. So he switches the conversation over to something less daunting, “Practice still on tomorrow?” 

When Jimin laughs out of surprise, it gives Yoongi the smallest kick of energy.

“Ah, someone actually ready to go for once?” 

“Yeah. The plan is to make this game quick.” 

A hearty swallow spills out of the speaker before a hum follows, 

“Mm, that reminds me. Got something that might help with that.” 

What the hell does that even mean? “Huh?” 

“I’ll bring it over tomorrow. You might find some good uses for it.”

Yoongi rubs the grogginess still clinging to his face. “All these years and you’ve never given me a straight answer.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

“Knowing the answer.” 

At least Jimin’s back in a good mood. Or a better state than puffy-eyed and regretful. He doesn’t have to share the pain in this, too. It was an honest mistake. 

“You’ll know it when you see it.” 

“Annoying.”

“Love you, too!” 

Yoongi’s huff billows through his nose, and Jimin’s energy almost brings enough strength for him to clear the table. 

Ehh. He’ll leave it alone. He’s been pretty good at that lately, too, no matter how early or late it is in the night. What time even is it? Checking his phone, Yoongi’s brows crease when he figures that out. Why the hell are they even on a call right now? “Wait, is it really three?” 

“Huh? Yeah. I’m telling you, dude, I was getting worried.” 

He was really about to drive over? “Sorry. I really did just pass out.” 

“Mm. Well, I’m gonna go do that now.” 

“K. Same time tomorrow?” 

“Ah, a little earlier. Just so I can give this to you before everyone else shows.” 

That just makes Yoongi infinitely more curious. “Seriously, what did you get?” 

“Relax! You will like it.” 

“Chim, I swear—”

“You’ll thank me later bye!”

As soon as Jimin disappears from the line, Yoongi is left alone again.

Exactly where he always ends up. 

Exactly where he doesn’t want to be. 

But now that he’s done dealing with those notifications, Yoongi roams lidded eyes over his screen again. 

Wait. You called him six times? Fuck. What did you text? Were you wondering where he was, too? 

Hustler [20:01]: HOLY FUCK!! my phone died after i tried calling you this morning and i just fully woke up to charge it😭 he’s not home so call whenever  

Yoongi clutches his phone a little tighter. 

He very much would’ve rather been in your bed with you all day. 

That sounds like fucking bliss. 

Hustler [23:37]: tried calling but he’s home now. are you ok?? idk what’s going on with him but i think we need to be careful

Shit, Yoongi didn’t get to tell you. You’ve probably been worried about that every second you’ve been awake today. 

And he couldn’t even make it out of his goddamn room to help. 

All he comes with is worries for you. What kind of shit is this? What is he even doing? He even outright told you that you were dating only for that to be ripped from your hands for months. Why are you still giving someone like him a chance? 

Hustler [23:40]: but all i wanna do is see you

Fucking hell.

Nothing in the world can stop his heartbeat quite like you can. With that smile, or those eyes, or the simple shit like this. Not even lightning can strike him the same way. 

Despite the consistency Yoongi has with admitting his own shortcomings, and despite the way he keeps reminding himself he doesn’t deserve you…

All he wants to do is see you, too. 

You’ve been more than he ever would’ve imagined—your consideration, your intellect, your mind. And there have been times when you’d look at him as if he was the center of your galaxy. 

After all this time. All these days and nights. 

You still don’t realize that he was destined to orbit you.  

It’s been decided long before his mind was made up—at least, the part of him that doesn’t traverse the dark side. His heart had been tugging him to you ever since that rainy day, no matter where he’s drifted or which direction he’s gone in. All of them lead back into your arms. 

But just like the feeling he gets walking into the recording booth, imposter syndrome eats him alive and doubt scavenges on what’s left. 

He will never be good enough for you. One of these days, you will realize that you don’t have to settle for him. It’s good now, but you’ll only give him so many chances, which he is swiftly running through at breakneck speeds. 

How fucking stupid. Having these thoughts while wanting nothing more than to hear your voice. 

Just like everyone else, you’ll eventually be done passing through. His winter will return after your inevitable departure, all the warmth you give focused on something else that deserves it more. 

Something that isn’t broken. 

Yoongi whips his head up at the sound of buzzing, noticing thin lines of light beneath his phone on the table. 

What. No way. 

From the rapid beats inside his chest, he shoots his hopes right into the dark. 

And they burst into beautiful sparks when he reads his screen. 

Hustler: Incoming Call 

But just like the streaks of color he witnessed with you on that balcony, his brightness is short lived. Because as soon as Yoongi answers, the way your throat constricts scorches his windpipe through.

And the first thing you attempt to get through makes his eyes shut tight. 

“Are we… is this over?” 

Fuck.

“I get it, if we are. If you—if you don’t wanna do this with me anymore.” 

Fuck. Fuck everything this is not happening right now. “Hold up,” Yoongi breathes, body on full alert. “What’s going on?” 

“I thought… When you weren’t picking up, I—”

“Breathe, babe,” Yoongi softens, hating, hating, hating himself all over again. “I passed out before you called. That’s it.” 

“Oh. Shit, I really thought—”

“You would know,” he whooshes, syllables squeezed out by the mountain of regret on his back. After hearing what he put you through? Hearing how you sound now? There’s no way he can do that shit again. No more disappearing from the grid because he can’t fight himself. “You would know if I was done.” 

Your sniffle sinks the ship with his heart inside. 

“Are you? With me?” 

Yoongi folds, fingers digging through his hair and blocking it in hard chunks. The amount of things he wants to say to you could wrap the whole world before repeating. But he settles with a truth he can say out loud, 

“No way in hell, doll.” 

Please. Don’t cry. Because he can only handle feeling his eyes sting so much in one night. There’s only so much he can take before he’s grabbing his keys and speeding over—friends and brothers be damned. 

“Okay… I’m just. It’s been a day.” 

That’s okay. 

Because he’s had a day, too. 

“I don’t wanna bother you with it, though, it’s so late.” 

Please keep going. 

Please don’t leave him alone. 

“Talk to me.” 

Like a gentle stream, your recap—though not ideal—washes away the weariness from Yoongi’s eyes. Lifts the weight he bears on his shoulders, even if just a little bit. 

You’re so good at that. 

“Well. Umm. He saw me coming home this morning. And, umm. It was weird. I don’t know why but I think we have to be really careful. And ugh, it—. It sucks because he’s going on a trip soon and I don’t wanna stress him out even more but I—” 

Shit, you’ve probably been holding all of this in ever since you got up. You don’t know that your brother believes something entirely different. But of course you’d be considerate, even now. That’s just who you are.

“I, umm. I feel so fucking bad about it but I don’t wanna mess him up right now. Or maybe he knows but just won’t say it? Fuck, sorry, I’m trying not—to—”  

The phone goes mute, and Yoongi’s head suddenly weighs ten times heavier. 

“He doesn’t know, babe,” he soothes, hating how he can’t be there to comfort you with more than his word and waves in the sky. 

If he was stronger, things could be different by now. Vastly different. Vastly better. You would cry less, he knows that for damn sure. Weak, weak, weak. That’s all he fucking is. 

The only one he seems to be strong for is you. “He came over earlier.” 

“Fuck, really?” 

“Yeah.” 

You pause, seemingly to roll this information around that beautiful mouth of yours, and Yoongi has the strongest yearning to kiss all your worries right out of it. 

“What did he say?” 

Shit. You’ll just have to forgive him later. Because Yoongi chooses not to tell the whole truth. You don’t need to bear the same worries as him, anyway. They aren’t yours. He will shoulder all of those on his own. Because he’s the reason for them in the first place. “Nothing about us.” 

“Oh, thank fuck.” 

Good. Your relief is all that matters. But Yoongi still feels bad for not being able to pick himself up. You could’ve known that a lot sooner if he was stronger. If he was better. “So don’t worry, doll.” 

“Okay. What about you? Are you okay?” 

Huh? Your questions catch him completely off-guard. It’s almost comical how his first reaction goes straight to a No. But sticking to his earlier stances, he won’t bother you with any of that. There is a truth that he can admit. One that’s always true and will continue to be so. “Just wanna see you.” 

And this is when his eyes slowly shut. Don’t. Don’t cry.

“Me, too, baby.” 

Hearing that? Chipped and broken from your lips? That is another thing Yoongi can’t handle. His heart beats once before it free falls, and he clutches his phone just a little tighter. 

Fuck everything. He’s gonna find a way to do this. All of it.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“You will?”

He’ll figure out how to move mountains to make it up to both you and your brother. 

“Just a little longer.”

He has to.

“Okay.”

Neither of you deserve this. And he doesn’t deserve either of you. Truly, the only thing he deserves is to be alone. And judging by the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time before you start resenting this behavior and leave, too. 

“Thank you.”

What? Something in Yoongi flickers, and he lifts his whole head to eye his screen. 

“For putting up with me.”

Oh. Of course you’d assume you’re the issue. Seems like you need the same type of assurance that he does. Both of you the same? Who would’ve thought his bruised soul would sync up with a perfect one like yours. 

At this, he holds his breath before chuckling soft. “This has been the highlight of my day, doll,” he admits, finally breaking into a tiny smile and sitting back.

“Really?”

Wait. There was another good part of his day. But he wants to save that for when he can tell you in person. “One of them. But you’ll hear about the other one later.”

“Boo.”

Cute. Wait, isn’t it absurdly late? You have to be up for work in mere hours. It’s a miracle you reached out when you did. “Don’t you have to be up soon?”

“A ha… Yeah.” 

“What are you still talking to me for?” 

“I miss you.” 

Well. That’s not something that he expected. And your admittance being so immediate actually sends shivers down his arms. 

Yoongi can only laugh to himself. He knew he had it bad, but this feeling is something else. “Don’t do that.” 

“Don’t do what? Miss you? Yeah, right.”  

God. You’re getting too fucking good at this. He’s gotta fight back or else his throne will be taken before he even sees you again. “Just a bad night to say it, doll.” 

“Why?” 

Perfect. “Cus I’m willing to get in the car.” 

“Fuck.” 

Yoongi happily lets his mouth slant when you groan, chuckling into the receiver and getting up to clear the table. When he flicks on the kitchen light, he doubles down, “Wanna try again?” 

He knows you’re gonna say no. Even though your brother doesn’t know, it’s definitely not a proper time to sneak you out—as much as he fucking wants to. Fuck, to be the one sneaking you out of your house… Maybe there’s another version of you both out there that’s done it. A version of him watching a version of you creeping out to his car, face shining in nightfall and etching a permanent smile into his heart.

“I hate you.” 

Yoongi should’ve expected that. The sudden laugh that flings out into his liquor cabinet ricochets off multiple bottles, and he shuts it while sporting a wide grin. “That’s better.” 

“Ha ha.” 

You’re smiling, too. Cute ass. Just the fact that he knows makes him excited for the future, and he’s determined to make it count. Make it worth it. You deserve every goddamn apology he can give. “I miss you, too, babe,” he whispers, grabbing the glasses from the table to wash in his sink. 

“Nu uh! You hate me, too.” 

Wait. Did you…

Did you just pout? 

Hell no, that’s outright cheating. That’s when Yoongi will never be able to win. Putting the phone down, he promptly states his new plan into a basin, “Nah, I’m going to sleep.” 

“Wait, huh? Why!” 

“Nothing.” 

“I swear to god—” 

“Nothing at all,” Yoongi lies, voice straight as he can muster while hot water runs over his hands. It’s a good kind of sting as his chilled skin adjusts, and he cleans one glass before he hears you ask in his ear, 

“Getting ready for bed? Or are you in the kitchen?” 

The smallest smile graces his face. “Guess.” 

“Kitchen.” 

The hell? “How’d you know?” 

“You’re always in there.” 

Can’t deny that. The glasses are both set to dry in the dishwasher as Yoongi’s amusement dies down, and his next comment flows out before he can think much of it, “You like to keep me in here.” 

“It does seem to be where we end up, huh?” 

“It does.” Which is fine by him. He’ll never forget all the times you’ve been in here. Your laughter and your storms, he will remember them all. 

“The world said let them cook.” 

Your giggles will be the fucking end of him one day. Fuck, he can’t wait to see you. He may even find a way to see you before the game. 

But for now, Yoongi will figure out how to talk to you, every day, no matter what. Texts, calls, whatever the fuck. The effort has got to show from now on. No more of this dark headspace shit. He needs to try harder and figure it out faster. For you. 

“Go to sleep, doll,” he huffs with full cheeks. 

After another adorable batch of sounds, you rustle on the line before sighing, 

“You better sleep, too.”

“I will.” 

With a blink, Yoongi notices two things. One, he just cleared his table and cleaned up without even thinking. And two, despite feeling like absolute shit the entire day and dreading the coming of night, falling asleep won’t be an issue. 

Because of you. It’s always you. 

Maybe there’s a way out. Maybe he can finally face it all and come out on the other side. “Talk to you tomorrow, babe.”

“I’d like that. And you’re sure he doesn’t know?”

Just like that, the demons are knocking again. Closing his eyes, Yoongi murmurs into the receiver, “I’m sure.” 

There will come a time when he will tell you. But that will be way in the future, when he is ready. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he’s telling the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough for it to calm your nerves. 

“Okay. Good night, baby.”

One more heartbeat to get him through the night. 

“Night, doll.”

When the phone cuts, Yoongi’s hand falls, his stare shifting straight to the living room. 

Right towards the corner that stares back. 

It’s been five days.

But it feels like you’ve aged twenty-eight years.

Ever since your brother confronted you—after your much needed reunion with his best friend—you’ve been floating through time. Lost. Confused. Wondering why that conversation went the way it did and gnawing at your sanity bit by bit. 

And even though Yoongi explicitly told you he didn’t say anything concerning your relationship, you still haven’t shaken that feeling. No matter where you are, who you’re with, or on a pretty Friday like this one, you feel… Strange. 

When you saw your brother waiting, you for sure thought you were gonna get grilled. It was a given you were gonna break as soon as he started asking deeper and more specific questions. The fallout was gonna happen in your own house right at your door. 

…So what in the fuck was that?

You shift your legs, the chill of the office failing to comfort you in your manufactured, building distress. 

Somehow, that version of the conversation proved much, much worse. Because now you’re spiraling trying to figure out why he just took your lie as the truth. Truthfully, you feel nauseous. And as much as you need to get some semblance of closure, you still feel hesitant. Because if he’s just biding time? He’s not just thinking about what to do with you. 

He’s thinking about what to do with Yoongi, too. 

This is so hard. 

The only thing—the only thing—keeping you grounded. Is Yoongi himself. 

Ever since the call you never thought he’d answer, you’ve been contacted every night. What was once days of radio silence quickly shifted to him reaching out however he could, hours of the day be damned. Just last night, in fact, Yoongi sent you texts at four in the morning, and you beam just thinking about what he said so casually.  

Yoongi [3:57am]: That keyboard I told you about is fucking dope. Just got it today and it won’t let me sleep lmaooo

Yoongi [3:58am]: I was gonna say sorry for texting but fuck it you’re getting all the updates :) 

No matter what it is, be it a text, call, or video chat, Yoongi seems fully committed and in the moment. Present. And it’s been… Really nice. If you didn’t have your brother’s shadow hovering over your brain, life would be practically perfect. 

Forcing yourself to actually work, you manage to get some small things done. Even the meeting you attend goes smoothly and you leave any outside worries on the other side of those glass walls.

So when you get back to your desk, an awaiting paper bag makes you pause. And your whole body prepares to weep.

Only one person has ever sent you food while you’re at work. And staring inside the parcel, you would’ve been able to tell who it was from even if said person had never sent any before.

There’s a small note on top of a to-go container—one that you immediately recognize as that super good restaurant next to Jungkook’s studio. 

What the hell? How did Yoongi know you wanted some this whole week but didn’t wanna risk being so close? With careful fingers, you pluck the tiny paper from the bag, opening it with care before your eyes get so teary eyed you can’t even read.

Tonight.  

This man.

I got the next one.

This wonderful, charming man. 

But you’re getting what I need so here’s the list:

Goddamn it, Min Yoongi. 

Seeing an actual list of food squeezes a laugh through your throat in a squeak, tears rushing out of your ducts before they’re hastily swiped. 

After five days. Yoongi really just sent you on a grocery run to surprise you with another meetup.

The gesture is so him that you cannot help but shake your head, ruefully huffing to no one and pocketing the note in your bag. And all your worries scatter even further. 

A dinner before the big game is risky, for sure, but at this point you couldn’t care less. Your brother has his own work outing tonight, anyway, and you are dead set on breaking all of this to him soon.

Even though you are very much unprepared. And he is going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t know already. Fuck.

You’ve had all five days to think it over. All the possible combinations and possibilities and outcomes. Some of them are extreme, some of them are hopeful. But for a majority of these projections, you have a feeling that none of you are gonna leave it without wounds. 

And you don’t know how you’re gonna save both of them if theirs are cut too deep. 

Regardless, that’s in the future. Not now. Right now, you are staying in the present and working like molasses until you can jet out the door, nary a care nor concern weighing on your heels.

Tonight. He’s gonna cook for you?

You’ll have the first substantial meal you’ve had in months.

Even though you want nothing more than to see Yoongi, your nerves are still buzzing and bumping into each other nonstop. There’s a lot you still need to know. Like why he was radio silent for months, and why your brother has been a little weird this whole week. 

Save it for later. Hopefully Yoongi will tell you why eventually. Or that gap will stay elusive to your brain forever.

Sliding into your car, you dump your bag in the passenger seat before pulling out the list, clutching it close and taking a leap that could either calm your nerves or spike them. 

Yoongi: Outgoing Call 

When he picks up, you legitimately don’t answer. Because even after all this time, you still can’t quite function when you hear that deep voice addressing you directly. 

“Hey.” 

All you have to do is say something. Anything. You could rattle off the damn list, stumbling over all the syllables just like they’re currently smushed together in your fingers. 

But you don’t snap out of this trance until he speaks again. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi,” you squeak out, clearing your throat while watching other people walk to their cars. “Hi, sorry. I just umm.” 

You just what? Somehow lost all sense of language just from him saying hi? Get it together. Stop that racket in your stomach and say what you were gonna say. “Thank you for the food. I’m off work now so I’m heading to the store.” 

He simply huffs a quiet laugh.

“Get whatever you want, too. Just let me know how much it is.” 

Huh. Did Yoongi just say all those words in that order? If you heard him right, forget the damn food. You’re close to speeding directly to his place and breaking down the motherfucking door. “Oh, I definitely will,” you respond with instead of hauling ass, the words pushing through your lingering smile. “And don’t worry about that, I got it.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah! I got big girl money now.” 

Yoongi laughs again on the line, fuller and closer this time. Are you on speaker? 

“It’s like that? Maybe I should work there, too.” 

“Oh, you’d hate it,” you giggle, scheming hard in your head for tonight already. Pretty bubbles in your ribs lift all your spirits. “I’m actually pretty bossy here.”

The groan that seeps through your car should be illegal. 

“That is literally what I’ve been wanting to see.” 

It’s your turn to chuckle as you finally make your way out of the parking lot, heading right to the market that you know for a fact has all of what he’s asking for. “I’m only that way at work, though.” 

“Do better.” 

Your immediate response makes his laugh crunchy in the speakers, and you go along with him because life is good. Life is fucking great right now. “Never mind, you’re paying. And I’m getting stuff for dessert now, too.” 

“What? Who said anything about dessert?” 

“Me,” you huff out in pride. Since he wants to see that demanding side come out so bad. With a fleeting thought, you think about what it could be like if you end up confident enough to— 

“I’m starting to regret this.”

“Regret what?”

“Everything.”

Liar! Your cheeks hurt as you look both ways before making a turn. “Can’t fool me. You’re excited.”

“I am.”

The way there was no hesitation sends shivers up your spine. But it’s partly because you thought you’d be faced with another joke or dig. Not a sudden one-eighty. Stopping at a light, you clear your throat before shyness puffs right out of it. “Well, good,” you state while checking your mirrors. “Cus I am, too.” 

“That’s a given, though.”

“Excuse you.”

Yoongi laughs before you hear the sound of cabinets, and you wonder which ones he could be touching. 

“Mm, babe. One more thing.” 

Can he stop making your heart beat two times at once? “Hmm?”

There’s a little bit of pause, followed by the clank of a pan on metal. When you hear another hum, you wonder what he could possibly—

“I think we’re out of condoms.” 

Who is out of what. If you weren’t still at a red, your foot would’ve slammed on the gas because what the fuck! All you can manage out are sounds without substance, random syllables, gibberish. Nothing is computing in your head. 

“Wait. Or are we?”

Okay, Yoongi needs to stop with that two-letter word before your behavior turns downright criminal. With as much seriousness as you can manage, you accuse, “Are you just fucking with me?”

And his response launches you forward just as the light turns green, 

“Yeah. That’s why we’re out of—”

“Alright!” you cut in, stopping stopping stopping him because for whatever reason, this conversation is too much. Despite seeing this very man naked in many, many ways, just having this talk with him is making you shier than ever before. “Guess I’ll, umm. Get those, too.”

“Nah, you don’t have to.”

“Oh. Found some?”

“No.”

Wait. If he didn’t find some why is he telling you that you don’t have to— “Oh,” you peep in realization. A very sudden, jaw dropping realization. “Goddamn it, you’re too distracting now, bye.”

And he finally breaks with laughter that’s contagious as hell. Which isn’t fair when you’re pretending to be upset with him. Even when you can’t see Yoongi, you can imagine the way his cheeks rise and his eyes crease. The way the whole room illuminates when he’s packed with happiness. 

And you want that to be the case forever. 

“You’re just lucky I’m not there with you.” 

“Yeah, you’d be annoying as hell.” 

“Damn!” 

As the market comes into view, your teeth shine as you grin, roasting this man quickly becoming one of your favorite pastimes. 

“To be fair,” you start to amend, fingers drumming on the wheel as you decide whether or not to say what you want. After deciding that there’s no wrong answer here, you softly admit, “I really do wanna get groceries with you.” 

There’s no words that come out in response. Only the slight movements of shuffling and water running and what could be more cabinets closing. But you don’t really know for sure—

“It’s gonna happen, doll.” 

You clutch the wheel.

“Cus I want that, too.”

One of these days you’re gonna see this damn cat again. 

Foot connecting with Yoongi’s door, you grunt as multiple bags burden your limbs, pride digging divots along your arms—second trips be damned. 

It doesn’t take long for him to let you in anyway, and you swoon at the way he doesn’t even ask while taking some of your baggage. But the kiss on your cheek makes your heart bang into everything between the front door and the kitchen. It’s so distracting that you barely smell the spices greeting you, too. 

“Thanks for getting all this,” Yoongi says as you both cross onto tile.  

“Of course.” Lifting the much lighter load that you have, you revel in the small thumps and thuds on his counter. Not really knowing why. “Let’s put this up before I yell at you.”

His laugh comes out in hisses while you both start reaching into bags. “For what!” 

“Sent me everywhere to find some of this shit.” 

“You could’ve asked somebody.” 

Feeling a bit silly and high off his presence already, you repeat his words in a goofy mocking tone, and the way he blows out air sends your belly fluttering. 

And just like that, things are back to normal again. No worries about your sibling, or work, or anything else looming by the door. Inside is what matters, and the whole apartment fills with jabs and jokes as groceries find their homes.

But Yoongi finds a bag you had separated from the rest, and you snap your mouth shut when he looks inside, something rising in your core when he turns to you with an eyebrow raised. And a smirk so salacious it makes you quiver. 

“What about it,” you squeak out, crumbling when he simply takes the bag and flings it through his bedroom door. “You said you—we were out, so…” 

“That’s a big box, doll,” he points out on his way to your tightly bitten lip. Mouth slicing through your sanity, he approaches you with a glint in his eyes. “Got something you wanna say?” 

“Nope,” you whoosh out oh god he looks way too hot in those sweats wait is that a growing bulge? “Although I will say it took me forever to pick out what—”

Sparks ignite your hands when your lips are claimed, launching them into his shirt and tugging him backward because you’ve been waiting way too long to kiss the shit out of him. 

And Yoongi responds in kind, pinning you to his fridge and so, very obvious that he’s been waiting for this, too. 

Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. How to imitate this treasured yearning that only he can pull from the depths of your ocean. Deep, deeper, deepest. All these kisses. Your ascending affection. 

“As much as I wanna throw you on my bed,” Yoongi jokes, pulling away and giving your cheek a light tap. “I’m taking you somewhere.” 

And you’re so thrown from the impact that your brain mini-resets. “Huh? We’re leaving?”

“Uh huh.”

Hold on. Wait. Is this what he meant when he said he’s getting the next one? You’re going out to eat? Together? No. No, there’s no way. Yoongi knows that’s the worst possible thing to do right now, as much as the idea is sending your belly in a frenzy. “Are you sure? What about dinner? Won’t people… You know.”

“It’s ready already,” he reveals. “By the door.” 

Your head snaps to where he points out, even though you can’t see through the bar. “Really?” No wonder it smells like a cooking aftermath. All those smells twirling around your head. How did you not even catch the dishes in the sink? 

But hold up, you just bought a shit ton of food! “Then what the hell was the run for?”

Yoongi blinks. Then he does it again. Expression stone still, he responds as if you were privy to his plans this entire time, “I told you to get what I needed.” 

Your turn to blink.

“And I needed food.”

This man is going to be the death of you. Affronted, your jaw hangs before you grit through a smile that betrays you, “Oh, you—” 

“So thanks,” he quips through another tilt of his lips. “Let’s go, doll.” 

The begrudged sound that leaves you makes him kick his head back on the way out the kitchen. 

“Eat.”

The container on your thighs warms you through. “Now?”

“Mm.”

“I can wait,” you assure, watching as night paints the surrounding scenery in navy and black. “We can eat together.” 

“Just a bite then.” 

Turning to Yoongi, you don’t see a change in his face as he eyes the road. The veins in his arm catch all the streetlight, and you gulp before your gaze falls to what he made. Music fills the car, and you decide that maybe you do feel a little hungry. So you listen to instruction, popping it open and being careful as you pluck a piece to try. 

There’s no denying it. This motherfucker is a chef. “Fuck, this is good.” 

Your borderline moan sends Yoongi’s shoulders bobbing, and you will never get over those low, gravelly laughs. “Sorry.” Your hand hovers over your mouth in embarrassment. “I don’t react like that unless I’m alone.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Yeah, well,” you swallow. “Course you don’t.”

A tiny peek of teeth show as Yoongi smiles, and you don’t expect what he offers next, “Just be you, doll. It’s just me.”

The next bite of food pauses on the way to your mouth. “Oh,” you murmur. “Same for you then.”

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“Cus we wouldn’t make it to where we’re going.”

That was legitimately the worst time to put food in your mouth. Sputtering, your words come out low and chortled, “You fucker.”

His hisses are brief before he dips into silence again. As he slowly turns the wheel, you can see a glimpse of something deep in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly apologizes, swallowing as you keep your gaze. 

What is that look? Weren’t you both just having a good time? “For what, baby?” 

“Everything.” 

Your lungs flinch. This is definitely not what you expected to hear on the way to wherever the hell you’re going. “Oh.” 

Yoongi still doesn’t look your way, and with each pass of a light over his face, you catch quick snapshots of those eyes you’re still so shy of. “I, umm. I didn’t expect shit to pan out this way.” 

“It’s okay,” you whisper. 

After a slow motion of disagreement, his head falls forward just a bit. And your eyes find his hand clutching the gear shift in what you sadly think is frustration. “I’ve just thought about some things,” he starts, another song playing. “How worried you must’ve been.” 

You look forward. Because this is the part where you can’t face him. “I was. But not for the same reason as last time.” Without a hesitation of your own, your palm reaches between your seats. And you can tell Yoongi watches as you take his hand to hold. 

“I was worried about you,” you correct with softness. “It was hard because I didn’t know what to do.” Don’t fucking cry. You filled quite a few buckets already. “When you started not really saying much, I just… Hoped it was for a good reason, so. Yeah.” 

You feel your hand gently pulled, which is already enough to make you melt. But when it’s kissed, you don’t know what the hell to fucking do. 

“I’m sorry, doll,” Yoongi whispers into your skin, lips brushing with every syllable and painting a canvas of his reconcile. “I won’t leave you hanging like that again.” 

There’s a tiny fire in the back of your throat, the embers reaching your eyes just a little too aggressively. You attempt to squash the growing flames before they flare. “Oh. Umm. Thank you.” What else do you say? Yoongi’s being wonderful, but why do you feel… sad? Why is there lingering snow on your windowsill? “Were you worried?” 

“Me? Umm.” He stops at a light that he clearly didn’t want to stop at. Resting your conjoined hands on his pliant thigh, his jaw works as he observes them.

And you wonder if he thinks they slot together perfectly, too. 

“…Yeah.” 

Fuck. “About what?” 

“That you’d hate me.” 

Your heart meshes his fingers with yours. “Yoongi.” 

“Or that you shouldn’t be with someone that’s gone this much.” 

Fuck, he’s doing it again. Regressing. You’ve seen it happen in his kitchen and you’ll be damned if all that work, all that peeling, all that resolution amounted to nothing wait, wait, stop. This isn’t gonna be an overnight fix. And you have no clue what’s been happening, so just keep trying, trying, trying. 

“I’m used to people leaving,” you joke, but not really. “Like seasons.” 

He whips his head to you, and you backpedal because that probably sounded so random. You’ve got to think about filtering your thoughts a little more now that you’re getting comfortable. Yoongi says you can be yourself, sure, but you have to admit your quirks are a little out there. “I know it’s weird, but..” 

He’s quiet as the light turns green. And when you don’t finish, he admits, “I think the same.” 

“You do?” 

Your hand is brushed as a hum peppers it from above. “Mmhmm.” 

“Well.” That’s interesting. You didn’t know anyone thought about that stuff like you did. Now you wonder if there’s anywhere else your wavelengths sync, and if they’ve been syncing up all this time. “At least you come back.” 

Yoongi squeezes your hand tight before he holds it against his lips. Again. Fuck, this is a lot. You’re so wrapped up in his gesture that you don’t catch what he whispers. 

“Hmm?” 

He glances at the center console before putting your hand back on his thigh. 

“Always, doll.” 

And the fire you stepped on rages back with a vengeance. Heat and sting surrounds your eyes, and you don’t hide how you press your feelings into his skin. “Me, too.” 

If you weren’t lost in the surrounding scenery outside, you would have caught Yoongi’s look. But all you feel is his hand clutching you tight, and it breaks you down all the same. 

The rest of the drive is spent with him telling you to eat more, and a bunch of your sing-alongs to almost every song that comes on. It seems like the tiny bit of closure opened you both up, and you don’t even realize that you’ve been on the road for a really long time. 

But finally, Yoongi pulls up to a building, and you’re haphazardly rapping along to a song before you notice. Wait. What? He drove you to a rec center? 

Your fingers curl around his forearm before you even notice. “What’s this?” 

“Where we’re going.”

Hold on, you’re going inside? “Are we even allowed to be here?”

When Yoongi responds, his teeth make you shiver as he smirks. “Can’t say for sure, no.”

“Then why—”

He unlocks before you can finish, and you’re left in an empty car until he rounds the hood, coming over to your side and opening the door. You almost don’t hear what he says next, too focused on the jewelry swinging from his neck as he bends forward. 

But you catch it, and glance once more at the sight in front of you before biting your lip—in nervousness or excitement, you can’t decide.

“You comin’?”

Damn. Obviously, you want nothing more than to see him here. And it’s much too late for anyone to be around. But if something happens… Whatever. 

Your mouth finally unsticks. “If we get caught, you’re gonna pay for this.”

And you can’t resist his stupid grin. “Now get your pretty ass out before I put you in the back.” 

“Yoongi!”

Grinning, he leads you out, and you follow him to the trunk. After bouncing his stowed ball a couple times, he decides to lean in and reach for something else. 

Wait. Is that what you think it is? “Did you always have that in there?” you ask, pointing to the contraption that Yoongi’s using to air up his basketball.

And he does a horrible job at suppressing a smile. Which makes you burst into flutters and beats beats beats. “You liar!” Oh, you are gonna wipe those laughs from his throat. “I had to change up my plans because of you!”

Palming the ball, Yoongi tilts his head dangerously to one side. “And I got to see you,” he proudly claims. “So I’ll take it.”

You hate how the memories come packaged with what’s haunted you. What else happened during that time, and what happened after you left. But there’s no way you’re gonna bring that up. Not when the night has transformed into something so magical. 

So you just clutch your food and lean on his car, opting to compliment him to wipe the murk away. “Got to see you, too,” you puff into the brisk night. Because you harbor a bit of nostalgia in your bones. And because he still makes you shy. “You and your stupid hair.”

Another bout of hisses wisp into your side. As you turn to regard Yoongi again, he slips his chains into his hoodie before continuing, and you swoon at the veins popping out of his skin with each pump. 

How can he look so perfect doing the simplest things? So unfair. 

After seconds that feel like an hour, Yoongi’s done. And he scans the parking lot before telling you to follow him. 

What you expect is some outdoor courts. Maybe getting past a gate or two. So when you approach a back door lit by the shine of a single light, you freeze. “Are we really going in?”

Fishing something out of his pocket, Yoongi simply turns over his shoulder. “Yeah. Why not?”

“Oh.” You didn’t think you’d actually get inside the building. If there was an outside court just as accessible it would’ve made sense. Can you even bring food in here? Is that question even relevant? “No reason.”

“So I shouldn’t bust in?”

Huh. “What?”

“I’ve already done it a few times, so.”

“Wait!” Nerves throw your hand on his bicep before you can stop. “What if someone sees us?”

He’s so warm. And so toned. And if he plans on taking his hoodie off? You’re not prepared for whatever the hell he has underneath. 

Voice softened, Yoongi tries to placate your paranoia, “They won’t, doll.”

“Are you sure? If we get caught here they’re gonna call the police and I am definitely not… Gonna…”

The object in his hand jangles, and you clearly see he was just joking the whole time because keys—keys—stare you in the face. 

What is it with him and keys? 

When Yoongi speaks, you feel like you’ve never done anything bad in your life, and suddenly the thought of trespassing with an official way in is so scandalous, 

“You picked the wrong night to be a good girl.”

You have to admit. Seeing him so mischievous and dashing makes you wanna follow him wherever the hell he goes. Even if it gets you in trouble. Even if you were breaking in tonight, you would be all in. And that thought should frighten you, but it only does because of the wings tickling your rib cage. 

How can he make you feel rebellious and yet still so shy? The power of Min Yoongi. He’s way too good at destroying you.

When you glare, the man only grins, hisses of laughter leaving him way too happily before he unlocks the door to no alarms or sirens. He doesn’t need to throw a wink your way, too, but of course he does as he lets you in. Which causes you to float through the dark entryway instead of walk oh he did not just slap your ass!

A jolt in your cunt causes you to regard him in shock. To which he hums in a feigned question. “Hmm?”

With nothing but darkness and his cologne surrounding you, it’s only natural that giddiness takes hold. Truthfully, you’re packed with so much adrenaline that you feel a little wild yourself. “You’ve been waiting to do that, huh.” 

“So fucking long.”

You are not surviving the night. And you don’t give a single shit.

But as shy and out of control as you feel around this man, you also feel safe—even in a faraway, dark building that you’ve never been in before. That’s gotta say something about him, right? 

Yoongi feels along the wall beside you for lights, purposefully bumping your chest with his front even though he’s securing a ball with an arm. When you question his joking decision with noises, a chaste kiss on your lips shuts you right up.

“You’re in the way,” he jokes through what you think is a smile, and you’re about to move when he flicks on a switch very far away from your shoulder.

Liar! Your jaw drop must be comical because Yoongi’s grin stretches astronomically wide. But you cannot find a retort because seeing him so chill while you’re stiff from paranoia has you at a loss.

Is this how he used to be all the time? This carefree, all caution to the wind? He’s so fucking handsome like this. No wonder he’s pulled so many hearts just like yours. 

When you still don’t find any words to say, Yoongi makes it harder, stepping so close that you have to swing the plastic container away. Taking one of your hands in his free one, he gives it a warm squeeze while murmuring,

“You’re so cute.”

“How,” you ask just as softly.

And Yoongi responds with lights in his eyes. “Just are.”

Your lips mesh with his as he keeps your fingers secured, and suddenly every cautious thing in your body gets launched into the skies, too.

But it ends as soon as it begins. And Yoongi backs away from you with a smile, 

“Eat.”

“Huh?”

“Eat, doll,” he orders before turning and dribbling onto the court.

When you call out that he hasn’t eaten yet, Yoongi tells you that he already did. When you look around to figure out where to even sit, you decide on the closest set of bleachers and make yourself as comfortable as you can.

Which is impossible. Because they’re bleachers. Which is now triple impossible. Because Yoongi just shucked off his hoodie and the only thing he had under it was his chains goddamn it.

If you weren’t already sitting down you would’ve fallen right into the next dimension. How the fuck are you supposed to eat in these conditions shit he’s walking over! 

Your throat seizes as Yoongi approaches, face trained as if he isn’t aware of his overwhelming presence. All he does is bend to place his sweater next to your legs. But the quick smooch on your lips makes you swoon harder than you ever have.

And the way his silver taps your chest makes you mentally hold on for dear life. Wait. What the fuck, Yoongi’s taking them off right now? Right in front of you? Just as you're supposed to eat oh okay he’s handing them to you great wonderful fantastic.

The metal links feel so warm yet slightly cold to the touch. Weighty, yet light. But you clutch them in your hand as you connect a gaze to his.

“Relax,” he orders, lightly slapping the side of your thigh. “No need to worry.” 

And with bangs swishing, he goes right back to the ball waiting for him. Leaving you starry-eyed to hell with silver in your palm.

…Did all of that just happen? Is any of this even real? Quite frankly, you fucking forgot what you were even worried about. 

No matter what he does—simple lay-ups standing in place, dribbling to different spots to shoot, or even lazily jogging after the ball—you’re so enthralled with his actions that you forget that you’re not supposed to be here. 

And it takes your last bite of food for something to finally hit you. How does Yoongi have keys to this place? Where the hell did he score those because you don’t think he ever mentioned anything about working here. Or anywhere else other than the studio. 

Yet another mystery to add to this walking, bare-chested enigma. 

But there’s another question forming behind your eyes the longer you watch him practice, the more you notice how he’s actually going hard. Yoongi’s really good right now. A lot better than what you’ve seen of him before. 

Has he been coming here more often than he’s let on? And why does he look so… serious? You’d be surprised if he even remembered you’re here. 

Setting your empty container down, you gather the chains in your hands again, deciding to slip them over your head for safer keeping. After, you grab a water before stepping down the bleachers, hanging a little ways away until Yoongi notices you’re courtside.

And when he sees you, he stops practicing immediately, jogging to you so sweaty and shining and gross and handsome and— “Wait, you’re all swea—”

You’re pulled into a kiss the same time you hear a basketball drop, salt on your tongue and damp palms on your cheeks. And you melt right into the shiny wood floor, drifting, drifting, sailing into dreamland even though you’re technically already there. 

“Sweaty,” you whisper into his hot breaths of exertion, a twinge between your legs when he kisses you even deeper—breathing, inhaling, taking you in. “Gross.”

“Thanks.” 

You flash a smile against Yoongi’s lips, giggling because this is all better than anything your brain could’ve conjured on its own. When you ask why he’s going so hard, all you get is a question in return,

“You’re perfect, you know that?” 

Huh? Blinking, you suddenly don’t remember your own train of thought. “What did I do?” 

“Nothing.” He presses a wet mouth to your nose. “Did you eat?”

Laughing, you reassure him, “I did, I did.” 

“Good. You bored?”  

“Huh?”

Yoongi leans to softly take your lips this time, and you want to say he’s approaching the legal limit for kisses tonight. “Thought you came over cus you wanna leave.”

“And stop seeing you play? I could watch this forever.” You squeeze the water bottle a little tighter. “Just checking on you.” Another strike hits between your legs when Yoongi takes another, lazier glide over your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you forward by your bottoms, fingers slick from use. 

You could do this for eternity, too.

“Well I got about five more minutes in me, so..”

This man. 

“Forever might be a stretch.” 

“Ah, shut up. Here,” you offer through a giggle, holding the water out for him to take. 

“Thanks.” When he does, he tilts his head at just the right angle to cut you through, gulping down liquid and making you do the same to your nothingness. 

So unfair. “You looked like you were going pretty hard.” 

Lowering the bottle, Yoongi shifts his jaw before taunting something a ways off. “I kinda was.” 

“It was kinda hot.” 

His laugh makes you smile, and his next swig makes you weep. “Nah, but. This is our practice gym. I can just zone out here, so. It’s been one of those things.” 

Ah. Was this one of the places Yoongi ended up during those months apart? You wish he could’ve brought you along sometimes. Or at least thought about asking. It’s nice just to be around him while he does something he likes. Gaining courage, you say exactly what’s on your mind, “You can always bring me, too. If you want.” 

And it’s true. You don’t really have to do much when you’re with him, because just being around him is what brightens your day. Lifts your mood. 

But you have to admit that watching him play basketball while shirtless is the biggest fucking win in history. 

When did Yoongi get so close? When did his eyes retreat so far away? “I didn’t wanna bother you with this,” he admits, a drop of sweat clinging onto his chin. “I don’t even put music on.” 

“You never bother me,” you whisper back. Hoping that he believes you and that he will start to accept that as fact. Because it is. “Even if you’re being annoying.” 

The bottle crinkles as he smiles, and there’s a soft kiss to your lips that has no real desire behind it. Just a nice peck that sends you careening down a hill of flowers. “You won’t be feeling that way tomorrow, babe.” 

“And why is that?”

“Cus of what I’m wearing.” 

And he says that while half-naked? Like any look on him could get any worse. “Oh,” you scoff out, fully calling his bluff. “As if.”

Well, fuck. You don’t enjoy the smirk plastered on his face. It has you both dreading and excited for whatever demon you’re gonna run into tomorrow. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shrugs as he starts to hand the water back. “We can go soon, by the way.”

“Okay.”

But before you can grab it, Yoongi pulls the bottle from reach. “Unless,” he teases. “You wanna play me.”

“What.”

His grin shines, face glistening and turning your insides to jelly. “You told me you’d win, so. Let’s see it.”

You said that? While sober? How does he remember something like that when you can’t even recall a time or place you’d tell him something so bold. “When!”

“Right after you woke up once. Said you’re a master?”

Oh. That was ages ago. Fuck, you already forgot how did Yoongi remember? 

“Oh. Well.” Your nose turns up in feigned haughtiness. “Wouldn’t wanna throw you off your game before a championship.” 

“Uh huh.”

“I’d make you cry what the fuck!” 

Water spills down your head in rivulets as you freeze, stunned and watching Yoongi jogging his laughs back to the bleachers like a punk. “Think you got something on your face, doll.”

“Yoongi!” What the hell possessed him to do that to you here? Racing after him with purpose, you slam into him just as he reaches for another bottle, shoving a laugh out of his throat and making him catch himself on hardwood. “Nu uh, gimme that!”

“It’s mine, I just ran out—”

“Bitch!” You lunge for another bottle lying further away, distancing yourself to quickly rip the cap off and to avoid feeling his slick back on your hands. 

And it’s a lawless gym as both of you start spraying water, arcs and splashes of bottled liquid spewing over the court and soaking into your clothes and his bare skin. Which proves to get worse and worse for your wellbeing the more he gets soaked in your attacks. 

Running ends up being the only option to avoid getting completely drenched, and you hightail it behind bleachers before your waist is grabbed. “Fuck!” 

“Uh huh.” 

You try to wrestle out of his hold, his wet forearm digging lovely into your stomach, and you’re temporarily let go just so Yoongi can spin you around. 

Your back connects with solid wall, the impact shooting a grunt out of your throat before you laugh out of pure disbelief. “I can’t believe, you got me to do that,” you rush out, sentence punctuated by your breaths more than anything else. 

Here you are. Under bleachers. With Yoongi’s skin caging you with radiating heat.  

You can only stare as he drinks you in, no doubt looking at his silver around your neck and your chest heaving from exertion. Butterflies float across your stomach when his smile drips, and you fold as soon as he swoops in. 

Everything in your being pulses hard. It’s so visceral that you teeter on the edge of sanity and logic, and the thoughts slipping through your mind are just as wild as you feel. Before you’re even aware of it, a mischievous finger slides along the hem of his shorts, and you jump at the downright boulders rolling down your front, 

“Careful, doll.”

“Hmm?” You feel bad. And it feels fantastic. “What was that?” 

More gravel slides down his tongue, and you shake at his attractive as fuck threat, “Fuck around and find out then.” 

Your giggles add feather lightness into his murky laughs, but you’re so preoccupied that you don’t notice his hand between your legs until he slaps the inside of your thigh. “Yoo—!”

“Unless.” He leans forward. “My baby’s too scared.” 

Holy fuck, you might be. Is he really willing to do something with you? In a public place very similar to where you’re gonna watch him play tomorrow? You don’t know why the fuck that’s attractive as hell, but it is. 

Yoongi grips your chin, eyes falling to your lips and brows knitted before claiming your lips even harder. And despite your bones vibrating to hell, you put your all into the kiss, relishing in the growing hardness you feel against your front. An animal starts to wake inside your core, and you almost feel like stroking it. Feeding it. Raising it only for it to consume you in return. 

“Fuck it, we’re leaving.” 

“Huh?” Dazed, you let your vision refocus as Yoongi chuckles at your hazy state. 

“Fuck this. I’m taking you home.” 

For some reason, the game makes you nervous today. Even while Taehyung strides into the gymnasium with you, there’s a lingering feeling swelling in your stomach, and you don’t have any reason for it yet. 

At least this is another rec center entirely. Because there’s no way you would’ve sat still knowing you had a clandestine meeting in the same place not even twenty-four hours before. 

But the activity already bustling around hardwood catches your attention. Not on both sides, since only one team is here, but they are active on the other end doing drills. 

Wow. They look really intimidating, matching jerseys that were clearly done professionally and warm-ups having a set routine. You wonder if this is gonna be a tough game for… Wait. That’s your brother under the basket. That’s them? 

Fucking hell, Yoongi was right.

Because you’ll already never get over how attractive he looks in athletic clothes.

But team jerseys? 

Seeing this man rock a basketball uniform with his toned arms and legs so visible makes you want to claw your way out of your invisible cage. 

When the hell did they even get those? And why is he already slightly drenched during the warm-up alone? 

As soon as you see him make a lay-up, you know for a fact that you shouldn’t be here. 

Yes, you’re gonna stay and yes, you’re gonna cheer for them all game. But you are absolutely gonna feel like jumping him, which will in turn make you wanna bolt and run all the way out of town every agonizing second. 

Shit, shit, shit. You’re gonna have to try your damned hardest to unstick your eyes from that man the whole time. Already, you can hear Taehyung’s teasing, and your groan is to lament your future state.

Your name suddenly rings across the gym, and four feet pause in your ascent up the bleachers. When you catch both him and Jimin waving you down from their courtside chairs, you tilt your head in intrigue. 

They want you to come over there? What the hell is this about? 

Sighing, you turn. “Guess I’ll go see what they want.” 

“Here,” Tae offers his hand. “I’ll save you a seat.” 

Your bag is transferred to his grip while you nod, and you step down onto the court, wondering if you’re even allowed to walk onto it to see them. And Jimin’s grin can be seen from miles away. “Come here!” 

You gingerly step onto shiny wooden floors, making your way over and becoming hyper aware that someone else notices your presence. But you’re so puzzled as to why there’s no one on the other side of the court yet because isn’t the game about to start? 

Where’s the other team? As you approach their row of chairs, your hands immediately find your hips. “What’s up?” 

Jimin’s eyes stay creased as your brother explains the reason he waved you down. A very stupid, very innocuous reason. “Can you keep score?” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Why me?” 

Your brother uses his jersey to wipe sweat from his brow, and you wince at the brand new material getting gross already. “The girl that usually does it for us is sick.” 

“And you know the game,” Jimin quickly tacks on, rubbing at some tattoos on full display. Wait, are there more than you remember? When did he get more ink?

Your sibling asks another question you had in mind, “You aren’t gonna cover those?”

“Nah. Not today,” the man elongates in a stretch. “Just got another one. This one!” 

Ah, you were right. “I like it.” 

Jimin couldn’t look more proud. But enough of that because you really just wanna go back and observe the game from another place entirely. “Can’t y’all find someone else to keep score?” 

“We don’t think anyone else can,” your brother explains, looking over your shoulder. “At least, not the people coming to watch us.” 

Cool. You get to be met with heat and sweat from all these guys without compensation. How is this something you would say yes to? “Well. I don’t really feel like being a scorekeeper for free.” 

When your sibling laughs with Jimin, they share a look before he says so matter-of-factly, “Told you.” 

You’re sticking with that. If you’re gonna sit next to a bunch of smelly people, they’re gonna pay… you… somehow.

A ways down the row, you catch Yoongi dumping himself onto a random chair, head tilted back before he hangs it forward to wipe sweat from his forehead. 

And suddenly this temporary gig doesn’t seem terrible in the slightest. 

Because one, you can sit on a team bench that will have his fine ass right there. And two, this will give you a way to objectively focus on the game. You won’t have time to be distracted by a demon and his hair that’s gotten criminally long. 

“I’ll get us all dinner,” your sibling slices through your thoughts. “After we win.”  

“Fine,” you sigh, taking the end seat and shooting one more glance to the other side of the court. “Then I get to p—”

The air around you squeezes inward. And all sounds plunge underwater. 

Because you recognize someone you knew from a dark club walking onto the court, his team looking just as sharp and cocky as his eyes. 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 

You don’t notice the way Jimin’s hands flex, nor the way a familiar presence walks up to join your brother. 

All you can do is stare back. 

And without even realizing. 

You’re already rubbing your arm.

-

-

tbc. :((

-

a ha ha... so how do we feel? | taglist | discord!

a/n: okay, hello, loves. apologies this part took so damn long to post! can you imagine if i tried to post everything at once LMAOO yikes talk about too much at once. but i hope this part was enough to still be good on its own, and broken, pt. 2 will be... well. you can probably guess that's where a majority of my brainpower is going to go. a/n 2: thank you all for being here! it's been an amazing two years working on this series and i cannot tell you how grateful and appreciative i am to have such wonderful people alongside me. i hope this series continues to be there for you when you need it, bc it has become that for me, too. ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist

#ITS FINALLY HEREEE #SHEESH #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #filter for fics: #*ryenfictalk #yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #three tangerines #3tan11 #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #btsfic #*latest #ryenwrites

[81folklore]

i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid

parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi

summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no one had any idea how bad they were struggling

type: social media au (smau)

notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!

notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!

masterlist

march 2024

twitter

charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp

i have been waiting for YEARS

max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.

lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???

alex be glad he doesnt use captials

oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him

max ???

lando anyway

yn mate you ok?

yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am

lando yeah but usually your not single

lewis oh no! you and jacob split?

yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore

charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣

yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising

fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!

yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost

fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!

yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?

lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???

yourname cheers ill get on now

george let us know if you need anything!

may 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others

p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!

thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️

view comments

mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*

landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate

yourusername same time next race?

user33 loved seeing you back on the podium

user2 absolutely smashing it this season

user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*

user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*

twitter

*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*

august 2024

yourusername

liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others

did some reading, painting and writing

baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️

view comments

user66 AHHHHHH

yourusername ahhhhhhh

user26 cats name plsplspls

yourusername norman🐱

lukehemmings nice music👍

yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!

mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium

yourusername always!!!!

user74 have you had funnnn??

yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋

twitter

*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*

october 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others

p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased

huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️

view comments

user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*

user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud

yourusername ⭐️⭐️

gracieabrams woop woop!!!!

yourusername 😝😝

user2 gracie??

user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕

user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!

yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot

user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)

yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)

twitter

november 2024

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others

tagged: taylorswift

i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album

im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before

i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life

send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)

comments have been limited

taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍

yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️

twitter

yourusername added to their story

seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others

charles i feel completely betrayed yn

fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?

charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??

AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️

yourname sorry charles, surprise?!

charles ill forgive you because its a good song

yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!

yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️

yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!

lando I LOVE IT TOO

but seriously are you ok?!

yourname yeahhh im better now

was just a lot to navigate

lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us

yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do

alex yn was that twitter thread right?

yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate

alex user56tweetlink

yourname oh pretty much yeah

some things were changed with taylor but not much

fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!

yourname thank uu

max good song yn!

now

lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!

oscar max is kind of scary

max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 drabble #f1 x male reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

[bowsellie]

we have chemistry

warnings: college!ellie x college!reader, stoner!ellie, chronically ill reader (not specific, just mentions of fatigue and a medical accommodation for a single room for plot reasons lol), weed usage (Ellie and reader), mild language, briefly proofread, no use of y/n minors dni! smut in 3rd section! top!ellie, some degradation, praise (reader called a good girl, pretty girl, etc., ellie told she's doing a good job), SO MUCH CONSENT WE <3 CONSENT, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), aftercare.

💗💗💗

You didn't want to be taking organic chemistry. Nobody in that class did--not even the chemistry majors. But as finals season rolled around, you found yourself spending extra time to make sure that it would at least be worth your while. Needless to say, not everybody shared the same drive.

As the clock hit 8:49am on the last class before the exam, everybody started shoving their laptops away despite the professor's continuing drone. To your right there was an extra loud snap! as the student beside you--an auburn-haired girl you'd never seen before--shut the screen with finality. You shot her a glare, gently closing your notebook as people began to trickle out.

"You're smart, right?"

You angled your face towards the sound, assuming somebody was having a side conversation close by. Instead, you found yourself face to face with striking green eyes leaning to reach your line of sight.

"Hi. Yeah, you. You're using an actual notebook and have all the fancy pens and shit, so...are you smart?"

Your eyebrows drew together slightly as you shrugged with one shoulder. "I try, I guess. Um...why?"

One corner of the girl's mouth picked up. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've literally never been to this class before. My grade sucks. But I really don't want to retake this shit. Do you think you could help me?"

You stared at her incredulously, mentally calculating the equation of audacity and arrogance it must take to expect a complete stranger to help despite a clear lack of effort.

You opened your mouth slightly to say some variation of hell fucking no, who do you think you are anyways?, maybe you should have considered that before skipping literally every other class meeting when she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ellie, by the way. I'll pay you for helping me." When you hesitated to shake it, she added a "please".

You rolled your eyes, shaking the girl--Ellie's--hand with slightly too much force. "Fine. Whatever. Give me your number." You slid your phone across the table, already open to the contacts app, and watched as she typed.

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you..." she asked, pausing for your name. You gave it. "Thank you."

💗💗💗

Getting back to your dorm and settling into bed for a nap, you briefly texted the number now in your phone as "Ellie" with the last name "Wehavechemistry".

hey

Almost immediately, three dots popped up.

hey there. do you like my contact? lmao

i mean, we do have chemistry together. so like...sure?

no no no. i meant like...we have chemistry. wink wink nudge nudge. and my last name starts with a w so it's funny. do you get it?

...

it's funny.

yeah yeah sure. very funny. hahaha. anyways.

when did you want to come over? i'm free all weekend, and the final's monday. sooooo

oh shit

didn't realize the final was monday

ummmmmmmm how does tomorrow at 8pm work? do you have a roommate or something we need to accommodate for?

no, no roommate. tomorrow at 8pm works fine for me. see you then, ellie.

:)

Turns out, texting with Ellie wasn't all that insufferable. She was friendlier than you expected, and every time you put your phone down to try and fall asleep you found your heart beating too fast at every notification to actually put it down.

Instead, you kept the conversation going until 8pm the next day rolled around, when instead of a text you got three loud raps at the door.

Opening it up, you saw Ellie in the same hoodie as yesterday. This time, her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like...old spice and something pungent and earthy. Did she shower already?

"Hey," you said, suddenly feeling awkward and over dressed in your jean shorts and crop top, hair still done from that afternoon. "You can come in."

Ellie grinned at you as she slid in the door. "We have a semester of schoolwork to cover. Hope you're prepared for a long night," she said.

"Trust me, I am. Did you bring anything?" You asked, looking for a bag as she climbed on to your bed.

"Nope. Not school stuff, anyways." Curious, you tossed your notebook towards her and watched as she pulled a pre-rolled joint and lighter from her hoodie pocket. "I'm assuming you don't smoke since you're like, a nerd, but do you mind if I do?"

You shook your head, dropping your jaw in false offense. "How lame do you think I am? Just because I actually go to class doesn't mean I'm a nerd."

Ellie shot you a disbelieving look, but handed you the joint anyways as you joined her on the bed. "Here, have the first hit. As a thank you for helping me out."

She lit it for you as you inhaled, passing her the weed and opening your notebook. "If this keeps you from retaining information that's not my fault. Just saying."

"Trust me, I'm so alert right now it's crazy. All of tonight is gonna be stuck in my memory for a while."

💗💗💗

The room gradually grew darker, lit only by your adjusting lamp and the last smoldering ashes of the joint as you reached halfway through the notebook.

You breathed heavily through your nose, looking at Ellie seriously. "It's so late. We're not going to finish this tonight."

As she looked up at you, you suddenly noticed how much closer you two had moved over the course of the night. Had your thighs been touching the whole time? Has her breath always been so close it's hitting your cheek? Why did she have to smell so good?

Your own breath caught in your throat as she leaned even closer to you, placing a hand so close to your leg you could feel the fabric of her sweatshirt against her bare thigh. Almost imperceptibly, her gaze flickered down to your chest, now rapidly rising and falling.

"How set do you think I am for this stupid final?" Ellie asked seriously, a rasp in her voice either from smoke or the lowered pitch.

"You picked up on everything really well, so at least the first half I think you'll do fine."

She grabbed your left hand in both of hers, causing your breath to catch again. Her eyes flickered down again, this time lingering longer. Following her gaze, you noticed the top of your bra peeking out.

"Sorry," you said, quickly adjusting your shirt to cover it as heat spread through your body.

"No, no, you're fine. Sorry for looking," she said. You looked at her face, watching as her eyes seemed to trace the shape of your shoulders and the line of your throat.

The air thickened with tension, but you found yourself not wanting Ellie to leave yet. "So, why did you take this class anyways? If you didn't want to go?"

Finally, she met your eyes. "I need a chemistry for my major. Astronomy. I thought I would like this one, but didn't realize it was a fucking 8am when I signed up. By the time I realized I wasn't going to make it up that early it was too late to drop." She shrugged. "What about you? Big chemistry fan?"

You snorted. "Not really, but I also needed a chemistry for my major. I like the 8ams, it lets me have afternoons free to sleep. That's why I don't have a roommate--medical accommodations for fatigue or whatever." She nodded along, genuinely listening.

"Well, hopefully I don't have to retake this class. Next time there probably won't be a pretty girl willing to help me out."

You smiled at her, breathing sharply out of your nose in a laugh. "We'll see what we can do."

A beat of silence washed over you before Ellie pointed towards the pride flag on your wall with her chin. "So...are you..." She began, causing you to laugh full out this time.

"Yeah. Obviously, I'd hope, but if you're feminine people tend to assume otherwise I guess." You smiled and looked at her. "Are you?"

Ellie placed a hand on her chest. "I'm hurt you had to ask. I've been trying to flirt with you since I got your number, babe."

Oh.

"Oh."

She leaned back a little. "I can cut it out, if you want. I couldn't tell if you were into it or not."

Without giving her time to continue doubting, you sprung forward and attached your lips to hers. Threading your fingers in her hair and breathing in as you pulled back.

"So...you are into it?"

"I'm a little dense, Ellie. Don't let the color-coded notes fool you. But yes. Now that I know...I'm into it."

She smiled at you with one side of her mouth again, this time leaning forward to kiss you first. Lips opening slightly, you felt her body around yours as her hands found the bed and pushed you on to your back.

Ellie pushed her tongue gently into your mouth, settling between your legs as they fell open. As you felt her weight between your hips, you groaned a little.

Whining a little as she pulled away, your eyes fluttered shut as Ellie threaded her fingers through the hair by your ear. "Is this supposed to be my payment?" you asked, leaning into her touch.

"Shut up," she said playfully, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it was more forceful, teeth bumping against teeth as your tongues chased each other. Too focused on the overwhelming sensation of Ellie's mouth on your own, you broke the kiss to moan in surprise when you felt her knee push against your core.

Using the opportunity to trail her mouth down your cheek, to your jaw, to your neck, Ellie asked "is this okay, baby?" between kisses. You nodded before remembering she couldn't see you, instead responding with a slightly choked "yes."

In response, her lips attached right behind your ear as her teeth sunk into you and she began to suck. You groaned, bucking your hips against her knee. Kindly, she began to push it back into you, laughing into your neck as you continued whimpering.

"What?" you asked. "Why are you laughing?"

Ellie pulled away from the spot she had been working into your collarbone, meeting your eyes. "You're just so pretty. Can't believe I have you falling apart for me and I've barely touched you."

Your mouth fell open at her words, groaning. Ellie's mouth found yours again, her hands reaching for your tits over your shirt. "Can't blame me for looking at these," she said between kisses, "You look so good in this shirt."

"Take it off, then," you said. You sounded braver than you felt, your stomach doing absolute flips as the girl over you quickly complied to reveal your lacy nude bra.

"I like this," she said softly. "I want it off, though. Is that okay, pretty?" You nodded. The bra was nothing special--just comfy and the right color. If Ellie liked it, though, it was now one of your favorites.

Her mouth moved down your chin and neck to attach to your left nipple, bringing a hand to your opposite hip as she sucked and licked lightly. Your hips continued to buck against her knee, which was now stationary as you essentially rode her thigh.

Chuckling a little, Ellie looked up at you and began unbuttoning your shorts. "Knew you'd be needy. What kind of thoughts are you hiding from me?" she asked, pulling off your bottoms and panties in one go when you lifted your hips to help.

You smiled a little watching her eyes attach themselves to the spot between your legs. "What can I say?" you said. "Maybe I'm a little slutty if the right girl has me under her."

This seemed to light something in Ellie, who watched your face as she brought your face down to your pussy. Close enough to feel her breath, her eyes gleamed as she moved away from your hips chasing her.

"Please," you asked, voice breaking. "Please, Ellie."

"Guess you are a slut, huh? Begging for me already." Whatever response you had was cut off by a screaming moan as her mouth attached itself to you, immediately lapping at your clit before interspersing it with longer licks. Your legs shut around her face as your hands grabbed into her hair, pulling a little as you noticed the groan she made at the pressure.

"That feels so good, Ellie." Her motions sped up at this, and you hurriedly repeated the phrase as she focused more attention on your clit. Feeling everything tighten, you wrapped your ankles around her back as your hips lifted almost completely off the bed. Still attached to you, Ellie fully moaned as you pulled her hair and came over her face.

Whimpering softly as she pulled away, you audibly groaned when she looked up at you and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. "You did so good, baby. Do you have another one in you?"

You quickly nodded, feeling words escape you. All you wanted was for her to say you did good again.

Ellie leaned into you, placing her head into the crook of your neck as her fingers ghosted lightly over your hips, stomach, and thighs. Finally, you felt them dip into the pool of wet that had collected in your cunt. Spreading the mix of saliva, cum, and arousal up to your clit and around your hole, she slowly pushed a slender finger into you. Your back arched off the bed when she began pumping it in and out, chuckling against your neck.

"Such a pretty girl. You're doing so good," she whispered. Your moans grew louder at her words and she pushed another finger in. "Good girl," she breathed, kissing your neck and jaw as she worked into you.

"Ellie," you gasped. "Ellie, please."

"What, baby?"

"Please, Ellie, please. Wanna cum."

You felt her lips quirk up against your collarbone as she added a thumb to your clit and a curl to her fingers. Quicker than you'd ever been able to get there yourself, you felt the tightening of your gut. She swallowed your moans with a sloppy kiss, gently catching your bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. She used her other hand to hold on to your hair at the scalp as you writhed, second orgasm shuddering through your body.

"Good girl," she said as she worked you through it. Sitting up, she wiped her fingers on your thighs before moving up up to let you rest your head on her chest. "You did so good, baby. My smart, pretty, good girl."

You whimpered a little, not prepared to speak just yet. Ellie seemed to understand and didn't push you, holding you and playing with your hair until you leaned back to smile at her.

"That was good. Thank you," you told her, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of your sweat and pussy.

Ellie broke away, moving the hand wrapped around your waist to grab something out of your back pocket. She placed it on your bare chest, tucking it between your tits.

"What do I look like, a prostitute?" you asked. "Much love to them, but..."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I mean, you fuck like a professional, but this is for helping me study."

You grabbed the bill and pushed it back into her pocket. "Save it for next time. We need to finish that notebook if you want to actually pass this class."

Ellie kissed the top of your head. "How does tomorrow work?"

A/N this is basically a self insert...my bad. tried to make it as inclusive to different readers as possible. let me know if there's anything I can improve on!! <3

#Ellie smut #Ellie williams smut #Ellie williams #Ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #Ellie williams x you #Ellie williams oneshot #stoner!ellie #college!ellie #she's astronomy major coded prove me wrong

[bambiziip]

riize reaction — interrupting them with a kiss

pairing : established relationship with ot7 riize x gn! reader

genre : fluff & a bit of humor! (debatable if actually funny or not but)

warnings : just kissing and alluding to making out lol

a/n : hii this is my first time writing in like a couple years nowskffkf but i hope you like it. i kinda don’t love it but riize got me back into kpop so just wanted to write a little something for them all! i hope you enjoy, leave a trace if you did!! also my ask box is open if you have any requests for more reactions mwah

song i listened to on loop while writing this :

— SHOTARO

he’s stressing!! cb in the spring means he wants to work on choreo again for the grp

it’s technically a break day but you wanted to see taro in action today

what’s better than seeing him dance <33

he’s finally taken a break, sliding onto the couch next to you where you laid

you immediately sat up, criss-cross applesauce, and pulled on his sleeve just to hold

before you can get a word out to ask how he’s feeling, taro starts ranting about the feel of the cb song

how he doesn’t know if this cb his choreo will stick and all

he’s soo in his own head, he’s really just talking to the void trying to get his thoughts out

taro tends to get like this when he’s stressed, rambly but only with you he actually gets the words out

with you leaning forward, he turns just at the right moment as you give him a small peck on the lips

his mouth immediately quirks up at you and he says, “damn i was rambling again, huh?”

you giggle and push at his chest, “you can ramble all you want to!! it’s just… your lips get all pouty and i can’t help it.”

before he starts the song again, you make sure to poke his lips and give another kiss - for good measure of course

— EUNSEOK

you love eunseok so much, you really do

if you were to set the scene, it’s lovely

you’re cuddled up to your smokeshow boyfriend, under the covers after a long day and you can finally rest

scratch that - eunseok managed to binge watch the latest season of the anime he had been watching today

for the past 10 minutes eunseok’s been ranting about the ending - he wasn’t satisfied with it

“and then they just never made up! can you believe it? the two main characters, friends since birth and they just cut it off for no real reas-“

in less than 5 seconds, you had rested your thumb on eunseok’s chin slightly bringing his bottom lip down and you give him a long kiss

to essentially shut him up, yes! and did!

after breaking apart and mischievously smiling at his dumbfounded face, you just squeezed his arm and he snapped out of the daze

“y/n, you could have told me you wanted to kiss, i’ll just have to tell you about the other arcs later, huh?”

you laughed as you let him wrap your arms around you secure again, “kiss later, sleep now??”

— SUNGCHAN

sungchan really isn’t that dramatic, you swear

he’s currently curled up on the couch with you, laying on his back, with his head resting against your leg scrolling through his phone

you? you’ve been trying to finish this book for the past week and finally have the chance to just chill and do so with your boyfriend also assumingly chilling

except…. sungchan huffs for the 3rd time in the past 60 seconds

oh boy

you can’t help but chuckle and run a hand through his hair after putting your book down, “what’s up channie?”

sungchan tilts his heads to make eye contact as if he’s surprised you asked, not like he was looking for attention at all! (lol)

“nothing baby, i just,” he pauses to turn himself over to lay on his stomach and look at you, “not sure, pretty much your boyfriend took too many pictures and i’m only allocated one post thread today… how will i pick??”

you bite on your bottom lip trying not to laugh at him, the seriousness coming through in his tone as he continued to scroll through pics

you open your mouth to semi make fun of him but he continues on, even turning the phone for you to see just how many photos he took

“channie.”

he looks up abruptly, yup he was in his own world talking, but before he can do anything else you lean in and peck his lips

he smiles, sitting up slightly more and pecking you back

“alright, i’ll ask if i can have two posts today, now c’mere”

you dramatically gasp, “but my book!”

“give me 5 minutessss y/n,” he pouts and the book isn’t in your mind anymore tbh… what book?

— WONBIN

currently your view is of wonbin’s back, it’s nice, he has a cute shirt on

you’ll probably steal it later, shh don’t tell him

speaking of clothes, wonbin has his back turned to you as he pushes back loads of his tops on hangers huffing a bit

“bin, you know it’s just meeting my family and not milan fashion week?” you can’t help but chuckle by the end of your sentence

wonbin dramatically gapes at you as he spins around, cute denim jacket (if you do say so yourself) hanging over his forearm as he walks up to where you are sitting on the edge of his bed

“y/nnnn,” he elongates your name with a tinge of a whine to his voice, “this is serious i want to make a good impression, i can’t be looking stupid to people so close to you! it’d be… i’d never live it down!”

you shake your head, trying to hold a laugh in

honestly it’s really sweet wonbin cares so much you knowww it is, he’s so cute

he opens his mouth to go on another rant on how serious this before you prop yourself up and kiss him, placing your hand on his arm to hold yourself from where you’re sitting

wonbin even leans slightly down to accommodate you, yes he’ll take the kiss

once you break apart, you grin at him as it clicks you just wanted him to shut up and pick an outfit

“i’m going i’m going! i’m choosing…”

— SEUNGHAN

seunghan lovessss taking pictures of you after a date, he has a whole photo album just ask to see it and he’ll show

almost all of the pictures are you near the beach or near some bench as you always end up near a pier in the evenings that you can

“baby! and now you lean behind the bench !” seunghan says in delight like it’s his job to think of new poses

you try not to bust out in laughter at his enthusiasm looking around, “hani, there’s only so many poses i can do here.”

truthfully you love it and seunghan needs to never change, he’s your number one hype man for goodness sake

a few seconds go by and he pouts in thought, “okay we need a new angle, let me crouch down” and he takes a few shots of you giggling at him with a big smile on his own face

once seunghan stands back up, and he starts swiping through everything to add to his folder, you come around from the back of the bench and stand in front of him

loosely wrapping your arms around his neck, nonverbally demanding his attention, he looks up as you lean in to press a kiss to his lips

he kisses back, never the one to really shy away from pda, but he is the one to break the kiss

“well just tell me if you want to make out with the photographer!” he says sorta loudly, causing you to laugh once again rolling your eyes

— SOHEE

sohee loves debriefing his day with youuuu!

one would maybe not think it but as stories pile up from the day, he looks forward to telling you at the end of the day (so freaking cute)

currently you both are in the kitchen, you sitting on the edge of the counter

he’s in an animated reenactment of when sungchan hid shotaro’s phone for the bit in their variety show and sohee was dying to tell the eldest

you’re nodding along to everything with a small smile on your face

honestly you love how cute he is when he gets like this into retelling a story just for you

“i didn’t tell him though, told myself the fans would like the prank carried out and all,” he grinned at you as he walked to the counter you were sitting on leaning near you

“and then-“

you ruffle the top of his head through his soft hair, moving his head gently towards you lovingly pressing a kiss onto his lips cutting him right off

once you break apart, (sohee hardly breaks apart your kisses… the loverboyism) sohee’s looking at you kinda dazed

“alright that was better than my stories.. another?”

— ANTON

anton is sooo sweet

whenever he can, and he sees your coursework laid out on the table he tries to help even if he’s not too sure on the topic

he always compliments you too, calling you the smartest partner in the world

today though, he looked the cutest, he had pushed his glasses up against his hair somewhat holding it back

“jeez this is confusing, it’s telling you to do two things at once, babe.”

as he leaned over pointing to something on the paper in front of you, you couldn’t help but nudge his shoulder and kiss him out of nowhere, planting a sweet one right on his lips

he looked a bit dumbfounded when you broke apart from it, since he was clearly pretty into the coursework help

he smirked once he regained his composure sitting back in his seat, “what… you like the tutor vibe?”

you laughed and rolled your eyes, “you just looked cute, needed to remind you.”

“i’m glad im cute enough, ‘cause not sure if my smarts here are even going to save this class with you…. did you enroll in harvard level classes without me knowing?!”

#riize #riize reactions #riize reaction #riize imagines #riize scenarios #riize headcanons #riize fluff #riize x reader

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (5) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n formula 1's 'newest' WAG makes her race debut and gives her cousin a headache

i did actually screech like a parrot watching this race and then immediately adjusted some of my predictive writings

masterlist | last part | part 5 | next part

TWITTER

F1 WAGS @f1wagnews · 3h Selina Bui spotted around the paddock!

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h the royal couple of australia (i don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️)

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h why... did she wear blue...? she knows basic color theory... right??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h i completely missed that... SILENA??? ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h HER ASS IS NOT ENDING UP IN THE PAPAYA GARAGE IN THAT DRESS 😭 SHE'S NOT THAT DUMB IS SHE???

MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m SCREECHING RN we used to dream of these days

↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 25m '2-time grammy award winner' HELL YEAH SHE IS ↳ MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m the most employed wag in formula 1 🫶 (lily is a close 2nd)

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m HELP HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THAT CLIP OF LINA AND THE CHINESE INTERVIEWER 😭 ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m [translation] interviewer: this is your cousin's 3rd f1 season, how come you've never come support him? lina: he said he doesn't like my nagging interviewer: then will you be supporting zhou guanyu in shanghai? his home race could use some family support lina: even if he asked me to visit, there's nothing i can do, i'm in shenzhen performing a sold-out concert ↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 7m she's so done lmao what can she do if zhou doesn't want her there ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 5m lina: i'm fucking busy too, have you considered that??

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

(translation: Brother Yu [Zhou Guanyu], come and save me)

TWITTER

rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h oh wait shit she's cute as fuck what ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h fyi this is abt lina bui ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h i was kinda expecting a full-on rockstar but she's super soft???

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 1h the same woman not even 12hrs later

clara @ zgy24 · 37m i do actually think it's insane we got an 'oscar piastri's partner' graphic before we got a 'zhou guanyu's cousin' graphic ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 37m selina dear, we know you can't stand him but we're sure he'd appreciate it if you popped by the kick garage on your way over 🫶 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m you sound like my mother but i'll have you know he sent me this:

很油腻 directly translates to 'very greasy' but it basically means 'ew' or 'cringe'

↳ clara @ zgy24 · 15m LMAO OH MY BAD ↳ xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 14m the sheer amount of info you get from these two ss 😭 like ofc they use wechat, zhou guanyu sounds like an annoying older brother, she calls him 鱼哥, she trolls the emperor nickname, THE PURE SIBLING DYNAMIC IS EVERYTHING ↳ ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 14m zhou cousins crumbs 💚

lina !!! @EB_selina · 29m mistakes were made, the blue dress and orange-- sorry, PAPAYA headphones are not a look 💀 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 28m wonder if it's too late to sneak into the sauber garage... ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 12m i'm actually wheezing at this bc that's EXACTLY what my oomf said when ur pics first dropped ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 10m well i wish ur oomf gave me a heads-up before i left the hotel

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 112,385 others

selinabui went on a tour around the paddock (finally visited the man racing with my number 🫶) tagged: zhouguanyu24 and logansargeant

pi4str1 babygirl, i think you wandered the wrong way

pastry81 oscar's girlfriend meeting oscar's boyfriend

zhouguanyu24 我给了你一个愿望 trans: i gave you one job/i had one wish ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 你是不是我的亲表哥！ trans: are you even my cousin!

logansargeant This feels like an achievement ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant it is, stay slaying cap, so glad to see you race today 🫶

no2argeant logan getting a double feature over her cousin mhm those are mutuals via oscar frfr (loscar and oscalina and... lolina?) ↳ selinabui @no2argeant we use selogan but lolina is 100x cuter

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 3h HELP SHE ACTUALLY SNUCK INTO THE SAUBER GARAGE

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 2h both cousins are equally unserious bc why did i remember the 'who's the most famous person in ur contacts' thing kick sauber did and why did zhou say jj lin when his very famous GRAMMY WINNING cousin seems to regularly bug him on the daily ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h he probably forgot lmao it's like she's not famous in his eyes "oh lina? u mean my annoying little cousin? oh right, she's a rockstar or smth"

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h ok i'm convinced she's gonna stay in the williams garage now like it's almost guaranteed she's not headed back to mclaren ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h oscar, honey, come over and remove ur girlfriend from the williams garage, she's yapping with logan ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 8m I JUST SAW LINA'S POST 💀💀 y'know she's right, lolina is cuter than selogan but now i need to know how much logan's been 3rd wheeling

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 16m oscar checking his socials and it's his fans debating on the best ship name for his girlfriend and bestie

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h realising that lina being at the race means we're probably not gonna get her entertaining af f1 live-tweets

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h no joke, we missed out on aus gp live-tweets bc she was flying to jakarta but the saudi gp tweets gave me LIFE

INSTAGRAM/MESSAGES

from the phone of logan sargeant

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 39m red flag??? already??? we just started??? ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 34m they cut to lina in the mclaren garage and i'm wheezing she looks so amused by the turn of events 😭

jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m oh they knew what they were doing cutting to selina bui after zhou guanyu retired ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m new f1 reaction pic just dropped guys, perfectly summarises the kick sauber saga

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2m obsessed with her refusal to wear the orange headphones genuinely think she would rather go deaf than have those pictures circulate the internet

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 5m we got the zhou guanyu's cousin graphic but at what cost

↳ Stake F1 Team KICK Sauber @stakef1team_ks · 18m We're sorry to let you down 😔 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m i don't care which long-suffering intern this is. get out. ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 20m lmao lina's sauber pit stop tweets vs oscar's f3 drs tweets, fight 🤣

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selinabui Suzuka, Japan

liked by eb_jonno and 200,371 others

selinabui loved the experience, will not be going to another one bc i'm 94% sure i jinxed EVERYONE i hold dear in this sport - stay safe out there 👍 see y'all in seoul in 2-3 business days <3 tagged: mclaren and oscarpiastri

logansargeant You did *not* jinx anyone ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant logan, honey, i'm a bit depressed about you but sure man, whatever you say :'(

ninisf1diary how'd you find your first ever live race? ↳ selinabui @ninisf1diary very fun, loved the bit where oscar got to hop back into the garage after the first lap

mclaren Are we still gonna see you in Imola 🥺 ↳ selinabui @ mclaren i think oscar is gonna drag me over kicking and screaming but i guess i'll be there

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ on my mind since the flood ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: a 45min train ride makes two 43 year olds feel like teenagers. content warnings: divorce babes, divorce. kinda spoiler-ish. watch the 3rd season before. the reader has a backstory and a job, if that bothers you grow up don't read. word count: 960+

your hair was different, that was the first thing he noticed.

much like himself, you had soft wrinkles beginning to show up on your forehead and around your eyes, a gift from your late thirties that kept on giving. your eyes were the same though, he could recognize those anywhere at any time, even if it had been decades since the last time they stared back at his. your nose, your lips. your smile. the way his name sounded coming from your tongue. it was all extremely familiar, as if he was fifteen again.

"you're staring, like a creep, airhead." the old nickname rolls out like you had spent merely seconds apart and it makes him laugh, it has been weeks, maybe months since he last laughed genuinely like that, with his whole face.

"i just got lost—" in your eyes. "in my memories for a bit. you look so much the same."

"well, my pay check won't allow me any plastic surgeries so—"

"wise ass." and there it was, like a reflex, his own nickname to you leaving his lips before he even thought about it, if he did think about it he probably would've held it in, a 43 year old fbi agent using childish nicknames not being the best look, but it didn't feel like that with you, at all, it felt natural. you both laugh at it for a second and a comfortable silence follows it, but aaron couldn't keep it like that, he needed to know more, where have you been, what were you doing... have you been in virginia for long? he kept it as casual as he could considering his curiosity, "how have you been?"

"alright, good, yeah. i'm teaching at scalia, started this year, i want to keep practicing though, but i'm gonna settle down in virginia first." you shrug, taking a sip of your coffee. you were purposefully leaving details out, you had seen him on tv a lot since coming back to the states, fbi, profiler. you wanted to see how much could he get from you without words. "what about you, mister fbi hotshot?"

if you two were still teens the way your teasing came out would've made him blush, and quite frankly if he wasn't so self controlled maybe he would've blushed right now, he did feel warm, but instead he just let a chuckle out of his throat, "well, fbi hotshot just had his divorce finalized, not that glamorous being on these shoes." you already knew what he was doing with his life, it made sense to give the only actual news he had, "scalia? law degree too, then." aaron clicks his tongue, not holding back the instant smirk the realization brought. "your mother used to say we were so similar we shared the same brain, remember?"

"welcome to the club, then! meetings every friday, membership perks only after the second one, though." his eyes went straight to your fingers, seeing the lack of any rings he nods to himself. twice divorced. dark heavy coat, makeup accentuating your features, red lips, hair pulled back. you obviously care about being seen, desired, but don't want to be approached, a teacher-lawyer, no time, a lot of perfectionism. "yeah, i stay far away from criminal. civil and international law cases mostly. families, divorces, cross-board custodies." a child of divorce trying to save other children of divorce. very typical behavior.

aaron felt like he could stay like this for hours on end, sitting by your side uncomfortably on the train after fate pulled you two to one another again, hearing you tell him about your life in london, your divorces, your time in college. you made him feel young, like you were still his childhood best friend who he fell for. like if he were to kiss you like he did when you were both thirteen you would still blush and grip tightly on his shirt. nostalgia was indeed a bittersweet thing.

"i think when you moved away was the last time i openly sobbed." he shakes his head, the thought leaving his brain in a quiet, hushed voice tone, like a secret he wasn't supposed to be telling. it had been years, you were both fifteen when your parents got divorced and you were taken to england with your father. 28 years since the last time he saw you, and he still can feel the same pain if he thinks too hard about it, the way his heart felt like was being sliced apart, getting smaller by the minute as your father's car got further and further away. his mood soured in a way his feelings were only able to function normally again after meeting haley.

your hand softly touched his with the confession, your thumb going to his palm and drawing small comforting circles, "i cried myself to sleep a lot that year." aaron glued his eyes on the way your hands touched, and you thought he might reject it, find it weird after so many years, but instead he just closed his around yours tightly, a silent thankful prayer to the universe, mixed with the warning that he had no intention to let go.

you both stay like that as you talk the rest of the ride, cellphone numbers and e-mails are exchanged, along with longing glances beginning to make you shy like the school girl you once were, when you fell for him the first time. you often wondered what would've happened if you stayed in washington. before jack, aaron wondered it too from time to time, but truly, he wouldn't do anything different now, he wouldn't choose any alternative ending that would take jack from him.

but at least now he had a second chance, right?

#lari writes sometimes #yes im in love with him alright #aaron x reader #aaron x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

[galacticstarslove17]

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WATCHED THE PILOT OF WOY TODAYYY!! 🥹👏

And Yes, It's Has Been Link On YouTube During Today, I KNOW IT'S SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WATCH IT TODAY!! 🥹

IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS (Well, For Late 10th Anniversary), WE FINALLY GET TO SEE PILOT!!! 🥹👏

I Been As A Wander Over Yonder Fan and watching this show Around 2013, But Now This... Since The Pilot is Now Link, THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY EVER!! :D 👏🥹

I know Wander Over Yonder Could Be Deserve to get 3rd Season after they Cancelled it for no reason, which is got me upset around 2016.

And Beside, i kinda like The Animation goes great in 2011, If they actually aired this, I be more Enjoying this series lots! ^^"

I already Downloaded the Video Before YouTube is going to Take down the Pilot! ;3;"

THANK YOU LOST MEDIA!! ^^

GO WATCH IT ANYONE, DOWNLOAD AND SAVE THE VIDEO BEFORE YOUTUBE TAKE DOWN! 🥹👏

#wander over yonder #Savewoy #pilot episode #lost media #Youtube

[starshipsofstarlord]

Bemused

summary -> daryl becomes bemused by y/n and her affections towards him. also the story of how daryl ‘found’ his vest (0.6k)

warnings -> fluff, prison era (season 3) set, unestablished relationship but there be feelings, blood, 3rd person

daryl dixon // norman reedus works main masterlist

She was an outsider, even though she had travelled all this way with them from Atlanta, all the group of survivors knew was her name, and that she could kill walkers.

Nowhere they had rested felt like home, until they cleared out the prison, and y/n began to open herself up more, they all did. This could be their haven from the horrors that lay outside the fences, all they had to do was maintain their respite when it came to collecting supplies, and enforce the barriers when it was needed.

However what Daryl had found peculiar was that she lingered around him like an angel, he stared shocked at her as she walked towards him, a spattering of blood painting her face.

They were all infected in this new world, it wasn’t news that they had just learnt, but the redneck felt his eyes grow wide as he looked at her, and she wore a smile, as though she hadn’t previously been fighting off the undead as she entered the manually opened gates.

“How was the run?” Daryl asked her as she tilted her head at him, shaking her head as she dropped her satchel to the ground, and she burrowed through its contents as though her life depended on it.

“I’d say pretty good,” she replied, feeling giddy and nervous as she finally retracted the fabric, holding the article in her hands. “I got you something, I saw it and I thought of you.”

Nobody had ever thought of him, Daryl grew bemused as she handed him the gift, examining it in his hands as the shock did anything but wear off. Merle had only brought him a present once, and that was when he was a kid, he had nothing of value apart from the crossbow that he carried everywhere.

“Ya didn’ have to.” He quietly spoke, turning the vest around, viewing the pair of wings that were created upon the back. It was almost ornamental, it felt wrong to wear something so meaningful in the bloodshed of the apocalypse, but y/n appeared to not want to take no for an answer.

“Try it on! I didn’t scavenge it for you to just gawk at it!” She encouraged him, watching as the brooding man grunted, and shrugged his crossbow off, y/n happily taking it from him as he pulled the fabric over his shoulders. “It fits perfectly!”

In the old world, a woman being so excited over the littlest of things would have annoyed him, most of the female population did, especially those that Merle ran after, but he found comfort in it. She wanted him to be happy! It was a first for him to experience, and he had many of those left.

The vest hugged his shoulders in just the right way, and a warmth ran across his stuttering chest as he looked at y/n with his deep cerulean eyes, wondering why she had thought of him and risked her life to get him something so simple yet unique.

“Yeah, ‘t does.” He found himself agreeing with her, a small smile scoping on his lips as he struggled to push her away. “Thanks.” He curtly nodded, unsure of how to handle such a kind situation, however y/n had other plans.

She, still swinging his empty crossbow in her right hand to the side, engulfed him in a hug, that had his heart pausing for a couple of moments. But he found himself wrapping her in his arms, never wanting to let her go.

He’d be okay if he could stay in the scene forever, holding her in his embrace, however it would never last. Nothing good ever did… but maybe, just maybe things would have a better outcome than he’d predicted in the past.

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon fluff #daryl dixon smut #daryl dixon oneshot #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x female reader #twd x reader #twd x you #twd x y/n #twd imagine #twd fanfiction #twd oneshot

[vex91]

Im Nayeon - I'll take care of you

Pairing: Im Nayeon x Female Reader

Fandom: Twice

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: can I request a story where nayeon comes home after the tour the second time and see's that reader is sleeping at her desk looking extremely tired, nayeon knows its exam season but she didnt see it turning out this bad

fluff as well please

Summary: Nayeon knew that you were very serious about your grades but she didn't knew it could be this extreme.

A/N: Thanks for requesting <3

3rd's POV

Nayeon walked into the house, her bags dragged in behind her. Her eyes were heavy due to the intense travel she had with the girls. Their another tour just ended and as much as Nayeon loved spending time with the girls, touring and seeing her fans from around the world, she hated being away from you. So she was glad to be finally home, she was so tired that all she wanted was to lay down in bed and sleep with her girlfriend right beside her to cuddle.

The house was quiet, she expected that since it was nearly 1 AM when she came home. She was expecting you to be already asleep in your bed but instead she walked into the room to the sight of you sleeping on your desk. Books and papers scattered across it. You were obviously studying and it reminded Nayeon that your exams were coming up. She could see how exhausted and overworked you looked and it worried her, especially since she wasn't sure how much you ate.

Your girlfriend quietly changed clothes before walking over to you, she noticed your phone laying not far from you. She could see a lot of missed call and text from your friends so she figured you were studying really long, it only made her feel more worried. She kissed the back of your neck gently "Baby? Wake up" You stirred a little before looking up at her. You smiled at the sight of her "You're back love, welcome home" She smiled at how cute you were but she was still worried.

"When was the last time you ate?" You thought about it for a while "Yesterday night probably, during our call" Nayeon winced at that, she couldn't believe you didn't ate in so long "Come on" She pulled you slowly into the kitchen and told you to sit down before preparing for you something to eat. She was used to helping Jihyo and Jeongyeon around the kitchen sometimes.

Soon she slide over a plate of your favorite food in front of you and sat down next to you to watch carefully and make sure you ate something. You had some small talk as you ate and listened to her stories from tour, laughing at stuff she and Momo did when they shared a hotel room. It was nice to take a break from all the studying, eat something and spend some time with your girlfriend that you missed so much and when Nayeon noticed how more relaxed you were, she was relieved and proud of herself.

When you finished eating Nayeon pulled you to bed without immediately so you wouldn't study anymore that night. You were too tired to argue so you just let her pull you into her chest as you both were laying comfortably in bed, she kissed your forehead lovingly "Just rest love, I'm sorry for not noticing your struggle. I was away for a while but now I'm back and I'll take care of you, I promise" you smiled at her words, feeling content and happy to finally be back in her arms, knowing that she was serious about her words and that she will make sure you'll rest and get enough studying done.

#vex writes #twice x reader #twice reactions #im nayeon x reader #im nayeon

[lachicavoltron333]

Sometimes i do wonder, back in the last episode of the 2nd season when Portia is speaking to Jack, she tells him that she is a mother and then talks about her daughters telling him that they are hers, but my question is, was she talking about Philippa and Prudence, or was she talking about all 3??? Cause she mentions "three young ladies."

But everytime i see her she is always fussing about Philippa and Prudence, but with Penelope she is always scolding her and often diminish her achievements.

Even saying that she is happy that one day she will take care of her (wich pen is obviously against and even dreading)

And then in season 3 ep 2 she is telling her "do you earnestly believed you might find a husband in your 3rd year out?" Wich in general is just cruel to say that to your daughter who is being laughed at by the Ton.

Because:

1. I think she was suposed to be presented around the same time as Eloise, wich would be her 2nd year, she wouldn't really be a spinster (pen was probably against it, but once again had no say in it ).

2. She never tries to teach her anything about the marrige mart or even try to help her find a husband, unlike the other 2 who already have husbands (although for Philippa it was easy, for Prudence idk what happened other than the fact that they are already married)

3. She always let's Philippa and Prudence make fun of her and mock her weight, and instead of telling both to stop it, she continues to let them do it.

4. Calling pen a spinster even though she shouldn't be one and shouldn't say that about her.

Honestly watching scenes like this makes me believe more on that one theory i saw (i forgot where i saw it☠️) that said the reason why Portia treats her like this is because of the fact that pen is a constant reminder of what she used to be when she was younger (another thing that i would have liked to see in queen Charlotte Is a young Portia before she was a featherington , kind of like Violet for example)

And then comes debling, and all of a sudden she says that she has done very well, and is very proud of her, and poor pen feels like she finally did something right.

And then debling steps away and chooses not to propose, and once again we see Portia say "what did you do?" Instead of asking her if she is all right. And then pen calls her out on it and she is stunned, she probably never had heard Penelope speak like that, ever.

Don't get me wrong, i love Portia, i think she is funny as hell and a great character, but why do you encourage your first two daughters but don't even try on the third one???

Idk maybe I'm just thinking too much about it (apologies for my grammar error, english Is not my language)

One thing for sure, i cannot wait for that confrontation between Colin and Portia.(I just saw a leak on twitter about it and I'm really excited)

Anyway thanks for hearing my rant.

#portia featherington #penelope featherington #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #polin #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton #beyaz speaks #beyaz rants

[lostinwoso]

Thin Line (Alexia x Reader)

Request - ca. 10.3k words - Enemies to Lovers

The sound of the excited fans rings around the stadium and through the tunnel, in which both teams are currently starting to line up to walk out in a few minutes. The atmosphere is clearly good, but this comes to no surprise as it’s the UWCL semi-final with the match-up being Barcelona vs Wolfsburg.  

After walking to your position in the line, you take a glance around the tunnel, when your eyes catch the ones of the Barcelona captain, who currently is on her own way to the front to lead her time out in a bit. As soon as Alexia notices that it’s you, she sends you a glare, which you return instantly before breaking eye contact as she walks past you.

The dislike towards one another started at the close semi-final match in the 2019/20 UWCL season. The close game back then had both teams on edge, so after giving a “light” shove to the Spaniard, to stop a counter-attack from Barcelona, you two got into a small argument with rather not so friendly words being exchanged. The fire was fueled even more after you managed to kick the ball into the net as the defense couldn’t get it out in time, securing Wolfsburg the win. 

Plus, you might have run past the midfielder during your celebration on purpose and sent her a provocative smile as you walked back to your position to continue the game, wanting to annoy her as much as possible after the incident that occurred earlier in the game. And as it was time to shake hands after the game, you might even decided to put some more salt into the wound with a comment about how unfortunate it is that they couldn’t achieve more in this game. 

So safe to say that the reaction from the Spanish midfielder comes to absolutely no surprise to you. You just hope that Wolfsburg can beat Barcelona once again, as you definitely don’t want to be the one to have to face any possible teasing this time.

Even though you know that you would kind of deserve it. 

A tap on your shoulder breaks you out of your thoughts, turning around, you are faced with your teammate Lynn, “Are you planning on moving soon or should we just stay here?”, she teases you while pointing over your shoulder.

Confused, you turn back around, only to notice that the teams already started to walk out into the stadium. You quickly jog up to the line, trying your best to ignore the snickers of the left back behind you. 

The moment you step outside into the almost completely full Camp Nou will for sure be forever engraved inside your head. It almost feels more like a dream than reality. The fact that so many people came to watch a women's game is an unbelievable feeling for you. 

When it was time to shake hands with the referee and the Barcelona girls, Alexia made sure to once more send you a rather sharp look, which only fueled your need to win this game even more.

But already early on this plan seems not to go the way you would like, thanks to two early goals at the 3rd minute by Aitana which was only 7 minutes later followed by a goal from your ex-teammate Hansen. 

Barcelona clearly owned the game, barely giving you and your teammates any chances of even getting close to their goal before they would get the ball back into their own possession. All you could do was try to close off as much space as you could, which also didn’t work as well, and before you knew it the half-time whistle blew with a score of 4-0 for Barcelona.  

What annoyed you the most is that Alexia managed to score one of those goals.

The smirk and raised eyebrow she sent you as she walked back to her position after her goal made you angry and upset, this game was nowhere near how you wanted it to go, and you hate it. 

To your luck, the second half starts much better. 

Barcelona was still the more dominant team, but your team now managed to hold it much better together in your own half, thanks to a much-needed adjustment in the defense. 

In the 69th minute, you manage to regain the ball back into your possession thanks to a miscommunication between Alexia and Jenni. You immediately start running up the field before you end up passing the ball to your teammate Jill, who sends the ball in the goal. The joy is short-lived though, as the referee blows the whistle when the sideline assistant holds up the offside flag.

You were ready to cry in frustration at this point, of course the one goal you manage to get in gets flagged off.  

After quite a long VAR check, the goal gets allowed, the automatic line showing that Jill was just slightly onside after all.  But even then there was no time to celebrate, not when Barcelona is still in a comfortable three goal lead.

Which would turn into a four goals lead just 15 minutes later after Barcelona gets a penalty from Dom fouling Alexia inside the box. And of course, Alexia herself steps up to take the penalty to obviously put the ball into the back of the net effortlessly.

That would also be the last goal of the night as not long after the referee blows the whistle signaling that the game is over. And if you are honest, you are quite happy that the nightmare is finally over. All you want to do now is leave the game behind you and focus on the second leg, which would hopefully go much better for you and your team.

Even though you want nothing more than to get off this field already, you make your ways around to say some encouraging words to your teammates as well as shaking hands with the Barcelona players, purposely trying to avoid Alexia. 

But to your luck, you do end up encountering the Spanish woman, even almost walking directly into her as your attention swayed over to where the Barcelona fans were celebrating the win for a moment.

When your attention turns to the Barcelona captain in front of you, you immediately notice the smug smile on her face. Deciding that you don’t want to deal with whatever she is going to say, you try to maneuver around her, not caring if the cameras might catch the failed encounter.

Alexia doesn’t seem to like your plan of escaping and ignoring her in the process, so as you try to move past her, she takes a hold of your upper arm to stop you from walking past her, “What, no handshake for me?”.

You try to keep your face as neutral as possible at her question, but the annoyed look she receives from you once you look at her lets her know exactly how you feel, making her smirk grow even bigger in satisfaction of getting to you. 

Not wanting to cause a scene or have an argument interrupt between the two of you, you swallow the words you would like to say to her and instead force a smile on your face, which might look more like a pained grimace than an actual smile and free your arm out of her grasp to hold your hand out for the requested handshake.

The Spaniard raises her eyebrow at your silence as a challenge, before accepting your outstretched hand, repeating the very same words to you that you said to her just two years prior, “How unfortunate that you couldn't achieve more in this game, no?”.

It’s obvious that Alexia wants to get back at you by repeating your own words to you after the tough loss. And with your mood already at its deepest point it could be at right now, she certainly achieved her goal.

“Yea, really unfortunate.”, you scoff, retrieving your hand from the handshake, adding, “Just wait for the second game, you won’t have a chance.”. 

As soon as you said the last word, you turned around and hurried into the tunnel, leaving Alexia behind you. The midfielder looks at you until you disappear out of her sight, the satisfied smile not leaving her face once.

___

The loss clearly bothered you a lot, of course all your teammates weren’t proud of the performance in the first game, but it was obvious that it hit you the hardest. So, the next few days, leading up to the second game, you spend doing almost the same things every day. Eating, training, analyzing the loss plus Barcelona’s play style in general and sleeping. Being prepared for the game was your number one priority.

You can’t give Alexia the satisfaction of winning against you back to back.

The team seems to feel the same way, not for the same reason as you but losing the second game at home was certainly not an option. 

So here you are, just 8 days after the grueling game in Barcelona, ready to walk out of the tunnel onto the pitch of the Volkswagen Arena. To keep your concentration sorely on the game ahead, you make sure not to look around the tunnel to potentially catch the eyes of the person you so desperately want to see lose tonight. 

Once it is time to walk out and the UWCL Hymne starts to play, you take a moment to look around the stadium, of course the attendance isn’t as big as it was in Barcelona but having around 22,000 people here to support you feels you with confidence, pride and the need to give your fans a good game and victory at the end. 

As it was time to shake hands with the Barcelona players, you still made sure to not meet the eyes of Alexia. And if the captain was honest to herself, your complete disregard of her presence infuriates her for some reason. But it also fuels her even more to beat you once again. 

Both Teams realize early on though that this game isn’t like the last one. Yes, Barcelona still holds more possession, but your team is awake and way more safe in the defense and able to create chances up front. So unlike the half-time score of 4-0 in the last game, it’s now 0-0, meaning everything can happen. 

But this changes rather quick, just two minutes after the beginning of the second half, Wolfsburg gains a free kick which results into a mess in the defense to get the ball out so as soon as the ball lands in front of your feet you fire it towards the goal, most Barcelona players too distracted complaining about a possible foul or handball. 

You get swarmed immediately by your teammates, while some Barcelona players run up to the referee. And as soon as the goal check was officially over and your goal counts, which you could see irritated Alexia a lot, you can feel some weight fall off your shoulder. 

“Immer weiter!”, you yell out while clapping, wanting to keep the momentum up. (Keep going)

Which seems to work out great as just around 12 minutes later in the 59th minute when Jill successfully wins the ball into her possession to score another goal. 

Unfortunately though this would be the last goal of the night, meaning Barcelona will advance into the final while you would just have to try again next year. But even though you and your team didn’t manage to advance, you still felt somewhat good. After all, you did manage to put an end to the winning streak of Barcelona and proved that Wolfsburg is still one of the best teams Europe has with that one win.

Just like every other game, you make your way around the field to handshake your teammates and opponents. Ironically though, this time Alexia is the one who seems rather hesitant to encounter you, but knowing with the huge spotlight she has on her that the cameras would notice if she wouldn’t go up to you, she makes her way over. 

You stand with your back towards her, talking to Jill about her goal, when you feel someone poking your shoulder. Turning around, you are faced with Alexia, who offers no words but simply holds out her hand for you to shake, which you accept. 

Alexia is confused by your silence, why haven’t you made fun of her losing, once again, to you? 

“Just say it.”, she huffs out once the handshake is over. 

“Say what?”, you say with a teasing smile, kind of enjoying her visible annoyance at your silence.

The Spaniard rolls her eyes at your teasing, “You know the whole how unfortunate you couldn’t achieve more.”.

“And for what? You are still the one going to Juventus.”, you reply with a shrug of your shoulders.

Alexia is confused, yeah you are right, but that's it? Not a single bad word from you about the performance tonight? Her thoughts are interrupted when Aitana calls out for her to come over to say thanks to the few fans that traveled to support their team tonight.

“Well, good game then?”, she offers, still confused by your behavior.

“Good game.”, you agree but once she starts to walk over to her team you can’t help yourself and yell out after her, “And good luck for the final, maybe you have a chance there to actually achieve some more, you know, something like a win maybe?.”.

The woman turns around at your words to send you a glare, almost feeling foolish for believing you wouldn’t say something like that after your words at the end of the last game. You in return send her a smile and thumbs up back, to which you can see her jaw clench in annoyance, before she turns around as Aitana calls out for her once again.

Slowly making your way over to your own team to take a walk around the stadium, you let out a laugh at her reaction, satisfied with getting to her once more.

___

21 days later, you find yourself with some of your Wolfsburg teammates in Juventus to watch the UWCL final. With Wolfsburg having only the DFB-Pokal final left in a few days, you decided to spend some time together before all your ways would part after the game, everyone going on different vacations before the euros would start.

You don’t know which team you would like to win more, instead hoping more for an exciting game of football from two amazing teams.

But you early on get flashbacks from your own final against Lyon back in the UWCL 19/20 season. Lyon managing to score three times in a span of 33 minutes certainly wasn’t on your bingo card. And even though Alexia managed to score one goal before the half-time whistle blows, you can’t help but feel like that this game is already decided. 

That feeling would turn out to be true another 45 minutes later, as neither of the two teams scored any more goals, crowning Lyon once again the winner of the Women Champions League. Seeing the Barcelona players so sad makes you remember your own final once more, knowing exactly how painful it is to lose such an important game. As your eyes find Alexia lying on the floor crying, you slightly start to feel guilty. It was obvious under how much pressure the Spaniard was with all the sudden attention on her, and knowing that your words weren’t necessarily positive input on the immense amount of pressure she already felt makes you feel bad.  

After the stadium calmed down a little and the ceremony was over, you all met up with Jill’s teammate Dan real quick to gratulate her and the team on the win before it was time to head back to the hotel, needing to get some sleep before the early flight the next day to get back to Wolfsburg, your own final not long away as well. 

___

Just two months later, you are sitting in the Old Trafford Stadium, waiting for the opening game of the Euros 22 England - Austria to start. Unfortunately for you, you got yourself a small injury in the DFB-Pokal game against Potsdam from which you didn’t manage to fully recover before the Euros started, meaning you would have to sit out the tournament this year. But not wanting to sit back home in Wolfsburg the entire time, you decided to fly out to England anyway to watch as many games as you could. 

Yesterday, the news came out that Alexia tore her ACL, ending her tournament before she even had the chance to start. You saw a lot of footballers sending her encouraging words and thought about doing it too, but the history between you two made you decide against it, since you were probably the last person she would want to hear from.

As the Euros went on, you went to whatever games were closest to you, with some exceptions where you would travel a bit further to watch the games of your Wolfsburg teammates to support them. It was during the Germany - Austria game where you first heard about the rumors about Barcelona looking to sign two new players, now that Alexia would be out for a few months, from a trusting social media source.

And with that, just two days later you receive a message from your Agent, informing you that you are one of the players Barcelona is interested in signing this summer and that Wolfsburg would be willing to let you go for the amount of money they offer for you. When you read that message you didn’t reply immediately, actually you didn’t reply at all, so the next day your Agent called you to talk about the offer. It’s not that you are not tempted to play for Barcelona, they are a powerful team and that they want you to join them fills you with pride, but the hate between you and Alexia fills you with doubt. 

First you destroy her win streak, and you are once again snarky towards her, and then she gets injured, and you are one of the players that is supposed to help to fill the hole her injury left in the squad. You are aware that you couldn’t completely replace her and that’s not what you want anyway, just because there are some differences between the two of you, you can’t deny that she is the best in the world in her position. But the whole thing about you going to Barcelona to play instead of her could leave a bad impression on the woman.

You and your Agent agreed to her, telling Barcelona that you would still need some time to think about the offer. After all, it’s not just the situation between you and the Barça captain that bothers you but also the thought of leaving Wolfsburg. The team has become your family almost immediately after you joined them back in 2017, so saying goodbye to them would be everything but easy for you. A few hours later, your Agent lets you know that the team wants your answer by the end of the month, meaning that you only have exactly one week left to make your decision. 

The next day you met up with Popp, wanting to get her advice on the situation, as she was one of the players you were always closest to in the Wolfsburg squad. She made it obvious that you leaving would be sad for everyone, but she understands the feeling of wanting a new challenge and that you should just follow your heart. 

You thought the talk would help you to fully decide on whether you should accept it and start a new chapter or let everything stay the way it was, but that was easier said than done. So now on the deadline day for you to make a decision, you are sitting in the location where Germany celebrates their second place but while most of them are talking and dancing you are simply staring at the call button of your agent.

“Mach es.”, a voice next to you speaks up.  (Do it)

Turning to the voice you are met with Huth, one of your Wolfsburg captains, “Ich weiß nicht.”, you reply, still not sure if you really want to go.  (I don't know)

“Es ist okay etwas Neues auszuprobieren und ich glaube du wirst dich in Spanien gut einfinden können.”, she assures you. (It's okay to try something new and I'm sure you will fit in)

You don’t reply immediately, taking a moment to think about her words but also about the talk between you and Alex a week prior, “Okay.”, you breathe out. 

Sveni sends you an encouraging smile before taking her leave to let you call your agent, who picks up rather quickly, clearly having waited on hearing from you, “I’ll do it.”.

___

After Barcelona received the ‘yes’ from you, everything happened rather quickly. The club helped you find an apartment and announced your signing almost immediately once all the paperwork between Wolfsburg and Barcelona was done. Quite a few of the Barcelona women reached out to you to congratulate you on the signing and how excited they are to play with you instead of against you now for the unseeable future. Especially your Ex-Wolfsburg teammates Ingrid, Rolfö and Caro were excited about your arrival to the Spanish club.

Alexia wasn’t one of them but you didn’t expect her to reach out to you, after all she just got one of the hardest injuries she could have gotten which she has to focus on coming back from and dealing emotionally with. 

Since you were still coming back from your own injury, you first would join the team in training a few days before the first game of the season, meaning that you didn’t play in any of the club friendlies prior. For most of the training session you stuck close to your ex teammates from Wolfsburg, still a bit overwhelmed by the change after having played in Germany for the past 5 years. 

Especially the change of weather hit you hard, yes Germany can also get quite warm during the summer nowadays too, but the Spanish heat certainly hits differently, so safe to say you were grateful when once again a small drink break was announced. You were chatting with Keira for a moment about the weather, the Brit also not having gotten really used to it by now, before Lucy pulled her away to get more to drink.  

You are in the middle of chugging down a whole water bottle when a voice behind you speaks up, “You are doing great.”.

Putting your bottle down, you turn around and are met with Aitana, “Thank you.”, you reply with a small smile.

The small midfielder returns the smile, “You know, we were all quite excited to hear that you would join us.”.

You raise your eyebrow at her words, “Really?”.

Aitana nods her head in confirmation, “Yes, you were always one of the most unpleasant people to play against, so having you on our side now will help us a lot.”.

A chuckle leaves your lip at her words to describe you, “Well, I hope I can help.”.

“I’m sure you will, but now let’s get back to training, the break is over.”.

You can’t stop the groan from leaving your lips, quickly trying to get some more sips from your bottle before you would have to start running under the Spanish sun again.

Aitana simply laughs at your reaction, “Come on, you will get used to the weather soon.”.

“Mhm, sure.”, you mumble before joining her to walk back to the squad. 

___

Your first appearance for the Catalonian club would still have to wait as the first game day has to be rescheduled due to the Referees going on a strike. But the week later it was finally time against UDG Tenerife in the Estadi Johan Cruyff. You were super excited about the game, you might not be in the starting XI, but you got informed that you will be subbed on at some point, which would officially start your new chapter with this club. 

You even got on earlier than expected due to Patri having to get subbed off after receiving a head injury in the 11th minute. Surprisingly for you, you managed to fit in immediately, almost no sign of you just having transferred to the club as Keira, Vicky and you are doing a great job in the midfield. Even managing to score the first of the two goals of the game in the second half, so safe to say that your start almost couldn’t have been better than this. 

After the game is also the first time you somewhat encounter Alexia since the semi-final game back in Wolfsburg again and this time not as her opponent but her teammate. The team is celebrating the win in the locker room, clearly excited about the great start into the season, when Alexia comes in, still on her crutches. While almost all of your new teammates go to greet the injured midfielder, you stay behind, unsure on how to approach the woman. You do meet her eyes for a moment, but the way she immediately divides her look to somewhere else in the room, lets you know that maybe it is not the right time yet to talk to her anyway.

But the first time you would actually talk to her follows up just two days later as you make your way to training and see Alexia struggling to open the door to get inside, making you quicken your step to jog up to the door to help her open it, “Here, let me help.”.

“Gracias.”, she mumbles, glancing at you before slowly making her way through the door with her crutches. 

There is an awkward silence between you as you both walk down the same hallway, so you decide to speak up, “I’m sorry about your injury, but I'm sure you will come back even stronger.”, you try to encourage her. 

The midfielder stops walking and turns to you, “Are you now?”, she asks, and you notice the upset tone in her voice.

“Of course, no one deserves an injury like that and-”, you start off but get interrupted by Alexia letting out an upset laugh, “You really think I’m going to believe a single word you are saying?”.

“I mean why would I-”, you try to defend yourself, but Alexia once again puts a stop to your words, “Why would you? I don’t know, maybe because you made fun of me every time I lost against you, then you celebrated with the Lyon players after the final, and now you come here to take my spot once I'm injured?”, she says, now clearly upset and distraught. 

You take a step back from the woman, “I wasn’t, I’m not…”, you stutter out wanting to defend yourself, but the midfielder was still having none of it, “Just save it okay? I don’t want any of your alleged pity and-.”. 

“Alexia!”, a voice a few doors down the corridor speaks up, interrupting the Spaniard in front of you this time. 

As you both turn to the voice, you notice Irene standing there, she must have heard the upset and angry woman in front of you from the locker room, meaning that she probably also isn’t the only person that heard what just went down between the two of you. 

Alexia mumbles some words in Spanish to herself before taking her leave, leaving you and Irene standing alone in the hallway.

You know that the situation between you and Alexia was tense but her accusing you of thinking that you are not sorry about her injury stings. Yeah, your words towards her certainly weren’t nice but wishing people an injury is something you would never do. 

“Come on, let’s get changed.”, Irene’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts, walking towards her, you notice the team at the end of the hallway, already walking out to start training soon. 

“Just give her some time.”, the defender says as she waits for you to get changed. 

“I don’t know, maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea.”, you say with a sigh, clearly overthinking the decision to sign for the club. 

Irene makes her way over to sit down next to you, “It was a good idea, you are a great player and a great addition to the club, Alexia still has some difficulties adjusting to the situation with her injury. Your signing may also put some impact on that, but I’m sure you two can get through that at some point.”, she reassures you. 

“Alright, if you say so.”.

“I am, now let’s go out before we have to run extra laps around the field.”, she says, pulling you up from your seat to get you out where all the girls were already warming up. 

___

The next few weeks you kept your distance from the injured woman, not wanting to risk another argument and of course to give her some time to deal with her own emotions with you now being at the club. But you knew that sooner or later you two would have to talk it out if the team climate wants to stay positive, so you decided to apologize to her the next time you would have the opportunity away from all the other girls. 

Alexia was also aware that the situation between the two of you would have to get better at some point, which was made more clear during a conversation she had with Irene.

“You should give her a chance.”, Irene says to Alexia, who is looking out to the pitch where you and the other midfielders decided to do some extra training, wanting to make sure that Real Madrid will have the most difficult time to get past you all.

All Alexia offers is a distracted hum at the defender's words.

“I’m serious Alexia, I don’t know what went down between the two of you in detail, but she is our teammate now. And I’m not asking you two to become best friends, but to simply get along good enough to keep a healthy team climate.”.

Alexia lets out a sigh and turns away from the window and instead turns to face Irene, who is watching her intensely, “I know, I’m going to work on it, I promise.”.

Satisfied with the answer, Irene takes her leave to go out to where you and the others were still training to put a stop to it before you all would be too tired to actually play the game in two days. 

Agreeing with her, you all make your way to the shower and get changed. Once you are done, you are ready to go home and eat some food but as you make your way down the hallway you are once more met with Alexia struggling to open the door, making you stop in your tracks. You are unsure on what to do, should you just wait for her to figure it out herself or help her but risk another rather unpleasant conversation? 

You decide to go with the latter, maybe this would be a good opportunity for you to apologize to her in hopes to make things somewhat better between you two. 

So with a deep breath you make your way towards her, “Here.”, you say while opening the door for her once again. 

“Gracias.”, she says while walking through the door, you following close behind her.

“Do you uh, have a moment maybe?”, you ask her before she could get away towards where she would be driven home. 

With the words of Irene still present in her mind, Alexia turns around to face you, nodding softly. 

“Alright, so, I would like to apologize for how things went between us.”, you start off, “The way I behaved the times we played against each other wasn’t okay, but the emotions of the games always got the better of me and yeah.”, you stop to check the reaction of the woman in front of you but when you notice no sign of any emotions on her face you start to ramble “And I didn’t accept the offer to steal your spot or anything, I just saw it as a great way to start a new chapter and I truly do feel bad about your injury, there is no denying that you are one of the best players in the world and having you sit out sucks a lot.”. 

Noticing that Alexia is still silent, you are about to jump head first into the second round of apologizing, but her speaking up puts a stop to that, “Okay.”.

“Okay?”, you ask her confused, when she doesn’t add any other words.

“I accept your apology, if you accept mine. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that a few weeks ago.”, she offers.

“Oh no, no, you had every right. I know how weird it must have been when you heard I would join, that's also the reason why I hesitated for so long.”, you explain to her, but the single raise of her eyebrow lets you know that it’s not the answer she was looking for, so you quickly agree, “Okay, deal.”, adding, “So a fresh start now?”. 

Alexia nods her head in agreement, “Si, fresh start.”.

You can’t stop the smile from forming on your face, “Great, so uhm I’m Y/N.”, you reintroduce yourself to her, holding your hand out for her to shake, wanting to make everything the proper way this time. 

The woman in front of you looks at your outstretched hand before her eyes scan her own hands, which are occupied holding her crutches, so she can stand properly, following her eyes you quickly realize the issue, “Oh right.”, you start off, moving to put your hand down again when Alexia starts to shuffle her crutches into one of her hands, so she could accept yours, “Alexia.”.

“Nice to meet you.”, you say, starting to feel embarrassed after though once you realize that you might overdo the whole fresh start thing. 

“Nice to meet you too.”, Alexia confirms when she realizes your slight embarrassment. 

Sending her another smile, you notice a woman stepping out of the car from the corner of your eye, realizing that it’s Alexia’s sister Alba, you decide that it’s time to go home now.

You nod in the direction of her sister, “Alright, I let you leave now then.”. 

Alexia looks towards where you were motioning to, agrees, “Si, good luck on Sunday.”.

“Gracias.”, you thank her before making your way to your own car to get home, happy for finally defusing the tense situation between you. 

___

At first interactions between you were still awkward, like when Alexia complimented you on your performance in the last match against Madrid CFF, where you scored a goal and assisted one, you didn’t really know what to say. So you simply thanked her, which turned to you both smiling at each other rather awkwardly before she had to go. 

But it got better as time went on, you two were now able to hold conversations without the awkward aura, sure you still weren’t close, but it’s far better from what you expected how things would go between you both from when you first joined the club. 

One morning as you walk up to the stadium for training, you notice Alexia in the corner of your eye, but what surprises you the most is that the woman is walking without any crutches for support.

“Wow, am I dreaming or are you really walking by yourself?”, you speak up once she is in hearing range.

Alexia laughs at your reaction, “No, no, I really am walking by myself.”.

“That’s amazing, I’m happy for you.”, you tell her, truly happy to see the woman slowly coming back.

“Thank you.”, the Spanish woman says, smiling at you, as you hold the door open for her to go inside, “Excited about the first Champions League game of the season?”, she asks you as you two make your way through the training center. 

“Of course, I’m ready to show everyone that we are one of the best teams in the world.”.

“That's what I like to hear.”, Alexia chuckles, changing to another topic before you two would have to split up, you to get ready for training and Alexia to get to the physio. 

Two days later, you were in the starting XI for the first group game of the UWCL season. You had to admit that it felt kinda weird hearing the hymn play knowing you are about to play in the tournament for Barcelona instead for Wolfsburg, which you had done the last 5 years, but you were ready to give it your all and make the best from being on as starter. 

And that’s clearly what you did, with scoring 2 goals yourself and assisting another 2 goals for your teammates, leaving Benfica absolutely no chance as the game ends in a clean 9-0 for Barcelona. 

After thanking the fans for the support and celebrating the win with them, the celebration moved into the locker room, everyone obviously happy about the result from the first group game. But after another hour of talking and dancing, you find yourself growing tired, the 90 minutes of playing slowly catching up to you. 

As you start to pack your things up and get ready to leave, you see Alexia sitting in the corner of the room, also looking slightly exhausted. Knowing that you two don’t live that far from each other, you decide to walk over to her to offer a ride home.

“You good?”, you ask her, standing in front of her.

Alexia raises her head as she hears your voice, slightly confused by your question, “Si, ¿Por qué?”. (why?)

“You look tired and haven’t really talked to anyone in the past 20 minutes.”, you state with a shrug of your shoulders. 

“I guess that's because I am tired.”.

You let out a hum at her words, “Want a ride home then? I was going to leave now.”.

Alexia thinks about your offer for a moment before replying, “If you don’t mind?”.

“If I would, I wouldn't have offered, now let's go.”, Alexia rolls her eyes playfully at your words before saying goodbye to everyone, you doing the same.

As you two make your way towards your car, you hold open every door for the Spanish midfielder on the way, “You do know that I’m capable of opening doors just fine, now that my hands are free again, yes?”.

“I do know yes, but thanks for reminding me, but you know, I was kind of hoping for a thank you.”, you reply, waiting for her to get seated in your car, so you could close the door.

Alexia once again rolls her eyes at your words, but can’t stop the smile from forming on her face, “Thank you.”.

“No problem.”, closing the door, you make your way over to the driver's seat, ready to finally make your way home and get to bed. 

You leave the parking lot in comfortable silence, that's it until Alexia speaks up, “You played really well tonight.”.

“Thank you.”.

“I’m glad you joined us, you are a great player and not as much of an ass as I previously thought you are.”, she admits jokingly, but you know that there is definitely some truth in those words, making you chuckle lightly.

“It wasn’t an easy decision to be honest.”, you admit, glancing over to her for a second before focussing back on the road.  

“Oh really? I thought you would have jumped on immediately at the chance of stealing my spot.”, she jokes, making you actually full on laugh this time. Alexia waits for your laugh to fade out to ask, “What made the decision so difficult?”.

“Honestly? The whole drama between us played a huge role but also leaving Wolfsburg after 5 years sounded very scary.”, you confess to her, “I was scared to come here because I knew that with our history it would seem like I would come here to simply use your injury to my advantage to get to you in another bad way, you know. And the day you blew up on me in the hallway, where you had every right to question my motives, made me doubt that move even more, but the happier I am now that we can actually talk to one another now, without all the snarky and provocative comments.”. Alexia is surprised by how much the ‘hatred’ between you and her injury seemed to play a role in your decision, “I’m also glad that we managed to get over that, but I didn’t think that my injury would really play a big factor for you.”.

“Like you said, I’m not that bad of a person as I might have seemed like from the few interactions between us.”, you echoed, coming to a halt in front of the apartment building where the Spanish woman lives, “Here we are.”.

“Thank you for driving me.”, Alexia thanks you but makes no move to get out of your car yet. 

“No problem.”. 

The midfielder still makes no move to get out of your car, “Are you waiting for me to open the door for you or what?”, you joke, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“No.”, she chuckles, “But you think you could pick me up tomorrow on your way to training?”.

“Of course I can.”, you send her a reassuring smile. 

Alexia nods, “See you tomorrow then?”.

“Yup, I'll text you when I’ll be here.”.

“Alright, goodnight then.”, she replies, standing now outside your car.

“Goodnight Alexia.”, and with another smile, Alexia closes the door and makes her way into the building, with you waiting until she is safely inside before you drive off to get home yourself. 

It soon became a regular thing. You would pick her up in the morning when you had to go to training, and she was slowly working on her comeback, and at the end of each of your sessions you would drive off together. The car rides are always filled with interesting conversations and laughter, something you wouldn’t have dreamed of before your move to Barcelona. 

What you also didn’t expect was how well all the games would be going so far, winning the El Clásico against Real Madrid, winning the first game against the toughest opponent in your UWCL group, Bayern. Safe to say, you are beyond happy with the team performance and the minutes you were getting on the field. 

But every streak has come to an end sooner or later, which you learn during the away game against Bayern München in the Allianz Arena, Barcelona having to accept the 3-1 defeat. You were upset, you played so many games against them during your year in Wolfsburg that you feel like you should have been better at preparing your team for what was about to come. Besides the fact that you absolutely hate losing against them, they were your direct rival for years, after all. 

“It’s not your fault, you know?”, Mapi speaks up, guessing that this is the reason as to why you’re so silent.

You sigh at her words, “I don’t know, I feel like I could have done more for us to be prepared.”.

“You did it great for the first game, it was obvious they are gonna do some changes now.”, she shrugs. 

“I guess.”, you agree, not really convinced yet, but you don’t want Mapi to sit here and try to console you while she obviously herself is upset about losing tonight's game. 

Alexia could immediately tell that you were still upset about the defeat two days ago, the usual lively car ride now completely silent, no conversation, no laughter, the only sound to be heard is the car engine and Rosalía’s voice from the radio, which you would put on every time since you learned about the liking towards her music from the woman next to you. 

“Meet you at your car after training?”, she asks you once it was time to part ways.

“Yup.”, you confirm before disappearing in the locker room. 

A few hours later, Alexia was about to make her way to your car, when she notices someone still being outside on the field, all alone kicking the ball around made up obstacles. Upon noticing that it’s you, she makes her way outside, sitting down in one of the seats outside, deciding to give you some more time.

You are so focused on your own little training that you don’t notice the woman until almost half an hour past already. “Shit.”, you curse to yourself at forgetting that you were supposed to drive her home already, so you quickly pack everything up and make your way over to her, “I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried away but let me shower real quick, and then I take you home.”.

Alexia sends you a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry about it, take your time.”.

Despite her words, you do worry and have probably taken the quickest shower you could have before meeting her at your car.

The drive starts off the same as in the morning, that’s until Alexia decides that she has enough of the silence, “Are you hungry?”.

“Uhh, why?”, you question her, glancing at her for a moment.

“You weren’t in the cafeteria during lunchtime.”, she points out.

An embarrassed blush flushes your face, “I might have skipped it to train a bit more?”, you say sheepishly. 

A small frown forms on Alexia’s face, the Champions League defeat might have hit you a little harder than she thought at first, “I know a small café not far from where I live, we could grab some food there? Unless you already found a different spot you would prefer.”, she offers.

If you were honest you would love to just go home and have some silence, but the empty feeling in your stomach seems to decide this one for you, “Sure and I honestly haven’t seen much of Barcelona yet to know any good places.”.

So a few minutes later you two were sitting in the café she suggested, enjoying some light food with the usual conversation taking place, the former silence now long gone. You were almost dreading it when it got to the point of you two paying and making your way outside, spending time with the injured midfielder definitely helped to take your mind off everything. 

“Thank you for showing me this place.”, you thank her as you were about to make your way over to walk her home.

“We are not done yet.”.

You tilt your head in confusion at her words.

“You said you haven’t seen much yet, so we are going for a little tour around the area.”, she says, already walking some steps in the opposite direction from where you parked your car, waiting for you to come over to join her. 

Alexia showed you all the nice places around the area, giving you as much information about everything as she could, that was until her knee started to feel a bit uncomfortable, so you decided to make your way back to her place.

“You know, you could easily become a tourist guide later.”, you joke as you arrive in front of the building, making the woman in front of you laugh.

“Oh yea, for sure, maybe you could become my assistant then.”, she plays along. 

“I think for that, I would have to see a little bit more.”. 

“You will, I’m going to show you every single little place this city has to offer.”.

“Can’t wait for that.”, you reply, a genuine smile on your face, besides playing football, the time you spent with the spanish woman was definitely one of your favorite things to do. Alexia feels the same, every time she was around you her mind stopped thinking about her injury. Of course the Ballon d’Or winner already accepted her injury but sometimes there were moments where the insecurities came over but being with you for some reason always manages to put even those to rest. 

And with that a new regular was formed between the two of you, whenever you both were free after work and rehab, you would go grab some lunch and afterwards Alexia showed you around the city for as long as she could, making sure you would see all the places tourists often like to oversee. 

During all those moments, you two started to grow a slight crush on one another, not that the other would know, but the lingering stares when the other wouldn’t notice started to become obvious to some of your teammates. 

“You think they have something going on?”, Mapi asks her girlfriend with a slight smirk on her face. 

“Who?”, Ingrid questions the defender, confused on who she was referring to.

“Alexia and Y/N!”, she points out if it was the most obvious thing. 

Ingrid takes a moment to think about her girlfriend's words, she did notice about you two having grown a little bit closer to one another, and she did catch Alexia staring at you maybe once or twice when she was watching the training.

“Maybe.”, she shrugs, she did think that there could be something sooner or later but she knows how noisy Mapi would get once her suspicions would be confirmed.

“¿Quizás?”. the defender asks, “There is one hundred percent something!”. (maybe?)

“Like I said, maybe.”, Ingrid repeats, Mapi simply lets out a huff before walking away to her fellow defenders, deciding that it seems like that she has no choice but to question Alexia about it herself. 

And that’s what she does a few weeks later at the small christmas party after the champions league group game against FC Rosengård, where the team decided to spend the evening together before everyone would leave for christmas and new years eve. 

“You are staring.”, Mapi approaches her best friend with a big grin on her face.

“I’m looking around the room.”, is all Alexia says, only spending her friend a small glance.

Mapi her smile only grows, “The room is a bit bigger than just Y/N though.”

Alexia lets out a sigh, she knows María long enough now to know that the defender won’t stop bugging her until she receives the answers she wants to have, “What do you want?”.

“Is there something going on between you two?”, the defender wastes no time to get to the point.

“No.”.

“Do you want to?”.

Silence.

“Aha!.”, Mapi says slighter louder than intended, making people turn their heads towards them, “Lo siento.”, she mutters, waiting for them to get back to their own things, “I knew it! You should ask her out, like right now!.”.

The midfielder rolls her eyes at her friend's antics, “No.”.

“¿Por qué no?”. (why not)

“Because I don’t want to embarrass myself when she doesn’t feel the same and did you forget about the whole thing where we hated each other?”, Alexia points out with a sigh, not really in the mood to talk about her feelings.

“But she does feel the same! And haven’t you heard of the quote ‘It’s a thin line between love and hate’?”. 

“Mapi no.”, is all Alexia says, making it pretty clear that the conversation is done as she starts to walk away from her teammate.

“But you know I’m right.”, Mapi yells after her, once again turning the attention in the room towards her. Even though she didn’t achieve her goal she was still happy that her guess was correct, so she could annoy Ingrid later for being in the right.

But unbeknownst to her, Ingrid tried to get some information about the possible feelings between Alexia and you out of you as well, but obviously not in the same annoying way her girlfriend did.

“I don’t know, it’s complicated.”, you shrug, “I don’t want to risk destroying what we have built so far, you know?”.

Your fellow midfielder lets out a hum at your words, understanding your fear, “I understand, but from what I noticed so far, the feelings seem to be shared.”.

“Maybe, but I think I'll just leave it at that for now.”.

“That’s fine but if you ever wanna talk about it, you know where to find me right?”.

“Of course, thank you Ingrid.”, you smile at her. 

___ There wasn’t a day where you and Alexia didn’t talk to each other during the almost two weeks apart, whether it's been some messages simply wishing the other a good day or calling for at least an hour, you two always stayed in contact. Alexia was glad about that, because if she was honest, she slightly missed seeing you almost everyday which made her rethink the conversations she had with Mapi almost everyday. Maybe she should ask you out, but what if you reject her and the whole friendship falls apart? 

Eli and Alba took notice of the change in behavior from the footballer, they noticed how happy the woman always is whenever she told them about what you two did every other day, also did they notice how excited Alexia always got whenever she received a message from you. When they asked her about it, Alexia tried to play it cool, that you two are just friends and nothing more but they know her well enough to see the doubt and hesitation right through her mask. 

You weren’t much better, you also missed the Spanish women, your feelings only growing stronger during the two weeks you were separated, leading to a much longer than necessarily hug between the two of you the morning you picked her again after the break. 

During the first game of the year against Sevilla FC, Alexia's eyes almost stayed the entire time on you, “You should ask her out.”.

Alexia turns her attention to her mother, but before she can reply, loud cheers erupt in the stadium, turning to look back at the field she sees your teammates swarming you, meaning that you must have just scored the third goal of the match. As you walk back to your position, you look up in the stands sending Alexia a wave and a thumbs up with a bright smile on your face which the injured woman immediately returns, “Maybe I should.”, she agrees quietly. 

After the celebrations of the game are done Alexia and you find yourself in your car again, just arriving at her apartment she decides that it’s now or never, “I was thinking.”, the spanish woman starts.

“Yes?”.

“Maybe instead of grabbing lunch tomorrow we could go out for dinner instead?”.

“Sure, why not.”, you reply with a shrug, confused on why she was so hesitant about it.

Alexia blushes as she realizes that you haven’t gotten the real meaning behind her request, “I kinda mean as a date?”.

Now you also start to blush, feeling kinda stupid for not catching what she meant, realizing that the midfielder in front of you is still waiting for a reply, you quickly snap out of your thoughts, “I would love to.”.

“Really?”, Alexia asks almost in disbelief of you really wanting to go on a date with her.

“Yes.”, you chuckle.

The both of you just look at each other for a moment with hugh smiles and blushes on your faces, before a car horn behind you destroys the moment, “I text you the details then?”, Alexia wonders while stepping out of your car.

“Sounds good.”, you agree before you two say your goodbyes, the smile not leaving either of your faces for the rest of the evening.

The next day you were stressed, but Ingrid was your savior, you were nearly at the point of having a breakdown on what you should wear when the norwegian came over to help you.

“You look great.”, she says once you come out of your bedroom, having put on the clothes she suggested.

“Are you sure? Maybe I should try the ot-”.

“No.”.

“No?”.

Ingrid gets up from your couch, making her way over to you, “You look amazing, Alexia is going to love it okay? You need to calm down a little.”. 

“Yeah, okay okay.”, you say, taking a deep breath in hope to calm down. 

Alexia wasn’t much better, the woman also overthinking every little thing, while her sister makes fun of her, “Are you going on a date or are you about to get married? I have never seen you being this nervous for a date.”.

“It has to be perfect Alba.”, she says to her younger sister, clearly not finding any of her words funny. 

“Come on, I was just trying to lighten things up a bit.”. 

Eli comes in to interrupt Alba as she was once again going to speak up, scolding her “Alba leave your sister alone.”.

“Te ves hermosa.”, she tells Alexia, helping her with adjusting her dress. (you look beautiful)

“Gracias mamá.”.

One hour later you are standing in front of the restaurant where Alexia booked a reservation for the two of you. You were nervously rocking back and forth waiting for Alexia to arrive, which she does just a few minutes later. 

A bright blush covers both your faces once you make eye contact, “You look beautiful.”, you compliment her, the nervousness clearly audible in your voice. 

“Gracias.”, she whispers, “You also look amazing.”.

“Thank you.”.

Once you made your way inside to the restaurant and the nerves settled a little everything went smoothly, you two talked, joked and laughed for hours. Not wanting the night to end, you two decided to take the long walk to get back to your cars. 

“Thank you for tonight.”, the catalonian says as you near the parking lot.

“Thank you for asking me out.”. 

A moment of silence follows after that, you two just standing in front of each other, gazing into each other's eyes, slowly shuffling closer and closer.

“Can I kiss you?”.

You nod your head slightly, “Yes.”.

With your consent, she immediately places her lips on yours, her hands reaching out to your hips to pull you closer while you drape your arms over her shoulders. After air becomes an issue, you two slowly pull apart, big smiles on both your faces.

___

A lot of dates followed after this one, but your relationship actually wouldn’t become official until after the Supercopa game against Real Madrid. Having played almost the entire 120 minutes you were clearly exhausted, the happier you were that you and Alexia decided for a calm evening, simply cuddling while watching a movie in her apartment. 

You were just about to start the second movie of the evening when Alexia speaks up with a nervous voice, “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”.

Pulling a bit away from your position so you could look her in the face, you are met with the cute sight of a clearly nervous Alexia, “I would love to be your girlfriend.”, you say with a soft smile. 

The relieved expression on your now girlfriend's face makes you chuckle, “You really thought I would say no?”.

Alexia quickly pulls you into her so you wouldn’t see the blush forming on her face, “I just didn’t want to assume things.”, she mumbles in your neck. 

Breaking out of her grasp, you place a small peck on her cheek, before pressing a light kiss on her lips, “You are cute.”.

You two were almost inseparable after this evening, side by side whenever you could be with lingering touches and if you couldn’t directly touch each other, lingering looks were shared. Barely a day and night spent away from each other.

“It’s crazy to think that you two hated each other once, I still remember the way Alexia was cursing your name after the two losses against Wolfsburg back then.”, Aitana says during a team bonding night a few weeks later, nodding to Alexia and you while you were comfortably cuddling on the couch, waiting for the food to arrive. 

You chuckle at her words, just about to reply when Alexia beats you to it, “You know what they say, it’s a thin line between love and hate.”, she shrugs. 

“Love?”, you question, leaning a bit back to look at her.

“Mhm, I love you.”, she admits while looking you in the eyes, not caring about the others in the room.

The intensity of her stare makes you blush, “I love you too.”, you say, hiding back in her arms as your teammates around you start to ‘Aww’ at the confession that just took place between you. 

But Alexia’s eyes are still sorely on you, not noticing the way your teammates were still staring at the both of you or the way Mapi tried to rip Ingrid's hand off her mouth, to ruin the moment by commenting about Alexia repeating the words she told her just a few months ago, all on her mind is how happy she is that you two crossed that Thin Line. 

#woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso imagines #alexia putellas imagines #woso imagine #alexia putellas imagine

[blocksruinedme]

i'm got severe insomnia so here's some Traffic final ranking stats

Most kills

1st: Grian (33 kills)

2nd: SmallishBeans (29 kills)

3rd: InTheLittleWood/Smajor1995 (23 kills)

4th: GoodTimesWithScar (21 kills)

Most Final Kills

1st: Grian (7 Final Kills)

2nd: Smajor1995 (6 Final Kills)

3rd: Rendog (5 Final Kills)

Final placements

Grian’s placement: all over the place. My man gets the most kills and final kills, and after his s1 win, he’s a 7th, 10th, and 6th place.

Jimmy: Well I think we know his placement. 

Scott: A win, and always top three if he isn’t dying of gay grief

Martyn: A win, and always top three if he isn’t dying of gay grief

Ren: kinda all over the place, 7th, 2nd, 10th. 

Skizzleman: Okay i see something he has in common with Jimmy. 12th, 15th, 13th. He’s one of only three people to do worse than 14th, and one of those is Jimmy. 

Joel: A bit all over the place! 11th, 5th, 7th, 12th. He has the 2nd most kills, 29, so… baby you gotta use your kills better. To not die. 

Etho: Middle of the pack, my dude. Gotta shape up and impress Gem. 9th, 6th, 8th, 5th.

Pearl: Very consistent, in that she places 4th unless she wins. Pretty damn tight.

Scar: Very consistent, in that he places 9th unless Grian kills him in a cactus ring. 

Cleo: Bops around, I think they learned well from their 3rd Life death. 13th, 8th, 4th, 8th.

Impulse: Real solid with one bad season. 2nd, 5th, 5th, and then took 14th the only time Jimmy couldn’t.

Bdubs: That’s a bouncing bdubs boy there. 3rd (they gave e a clock), 12th, 6th, and 11th.

BigB: I don’t think my man Anthony’s got the bloodlust you need. 4th, 10th, 11th, 7th.

Tango: 8th, 11th, 13th, 10th. Jimmy was only involved in one of those. 

Mumbo: My man was the canary in waiting, 16th place after Jimmy, ready to go hop into the mine

Lizzie: End of Last Life wasn't great for the British newbies, lizzie came in 13th.

all data from: https://the-life-series.fandom.com/ if there are errors it may be because it's 6:30am and I can't sleep. Might go watch the un rise.

(or whatever treebark were up to at the end)

#jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #trafficblr #me #grian #solidarity gaming #smallishbeans #traffic life #traffic life series #traffic life smp #traffic smp #goodtimeswithscar #gtwscar #gtws #goodtimeswithscar fanart #mumbo jumbo #ldshadowlady #bigbst4tz2 #tangotek #bdoubleo100 #bdubs #zombiecleo #pearlescentmoon #rendog #renthedog #inthelittlewood #impulsesv #ethoslab #etho #skizzleman

[sakusafilm]

in which kiyoomi sakusa is inlove with you.

fem!reader, fluff, angst, established relationship, mentions of cheating, suggestive (?), not good with tags im new here im so sawrry 😩, just pain (did not proofread this btw)

part 2

© sakusafilm. do not repost.

sakusa is inlove with you.

no one knows how and why it happened. he just woke up one day, and somehow, his grade conscious classmate looked and felt different. your eyes are sparkling, your lips made his stupid heart race, your voice isn't so annoying anymore. he doesn't care if you take his coffee, but will put atsumu to hell if he ever does that. he doesn't care if you play with his curls, but will look at people with disgust if they do that to him.

god, he is inlove with you.

so when he asked you out on a date when the both of you turned 3rd year, you couldn't reject it. because maybe you felt the same, you love him too. you love his introvert ass who hated attention but still turned out to be japan's number one ace at such a young age, initially getting all the attention around itachiyama and the whole prefecture. you love taking his coffee away from him just because you're too lazy to get yours from itachiyama's bending machine that is literally just outside your classroom. you love his curls, they're cute and makes him look prettier. you love his paralleled moles in his forehead, kissing it when he falls asleep in your lap.

from then, the relationship that you two had was stable. it was mature, understanding, all-knowing. full of trust. his fangirls hated you, but you couldn't care less because you were so sure that kiyoomi sakusa only ever loved you. he never missed a day in assuring you.

“kiyoomi, can we take a selfie?” a regular watcher of his games approached after the match. you know the girl, you've seen her too many times. you're even sure that even your boyfriend knows her already. she always asks for a picture after the game, like today. especially today. because itachiyama just won their match and will finally had the chance to claim the championship in the interhigh again after falling short last seasons.

sakusa eyes you, waiting for a response. you almost laughed before nodding at him. he didn't really have to do that. you really don't mind. but, you think its his way of giving respect for to you.

they took a selfie again and bid their thank yous after. kiyoomi immediately pulled himself out of the crowd to finally go to you, pulling you into a tight hug. he's fucking sweaty, but still smells like mint and fruit. you couldn't pinpoint what fruit. you just know that this perfume came from jo malone. his personal favorite.

“congrats, baby.” you whispered, pressing a kiss on his cheeks.

omi chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead, “thank you, and thank you for watching. how was the admission exam?”

“i still don't know. results will be out in a month but i'm pretty confident. i reviewed a lot.” you answered. you came to the game after finishing a qualifying exam to tokyo university. if sakusa wants to build a career in volleyball, your dream was to build a career in medicine. two completely different paths, but you couldn't imagine going through it without him.

he nodded, “i'm sure you'll be accepted. it's you.”

“i hope so, omi.”

life was surely unpredictable... and cruel. that year, itachiyama failed to bring home the championship once again. kiyoomi wouldn't take it to heart for a long time, you know that. but with the results of the admission exam being released on the same day and figuring out that you did not get in to your dream university— that hurts him more.

seeing you sob quietly in your dorm as he hugs you tight. it hurts more for him.

sakusa knows the security he has with volleyball, that even if he failed today, that loss won't define his whole career after training so hard for years. as long as he did his best, he won't have any regrets. your situation was different. tokyo university is your childhood dream. you prepared your whole life for this. pulled all-nighters, drank tons of caffeine for examinations, wrote your reviewers until your hands calouses appears, tried to get all the extracurricular activities that could give you extra merits, and still... you failed.

kiyoomi doesn't know what to say. god, he's just equally heartbroken for you. he hates seeing you like this.

“do you want something to eat?” he finally gathered the courage to speak after you calmed down for a bit, “you haven't eaten your dinner, baby. tell me what you want, i'll go for a drive and come back immediately.”

“i am not hungry, kiyoomi.” you told him.

“even if you are not, it's bad to skip dinner without a proper diet. i'll get you something light and come back, is that okay?” he asked, yet tightens his hug around you, “i love you so much. you are amazing, and hardworking and i know that these words won't be able to comfort you right now. but i hope you know that i believe in you. i still believe in you. your dreams will still be possible,”

“it hurts so much...” you started tearing up again, “i worked so hard for it...”

“i know. i know, baby,” sakusa whispered, “i love you...”

“we won't be going to the same uni anymore, omi.” you told him. kiyoomi sakusa is being recruited to tokyo university's mens volleyball team. it would be perfect to attend the same school with him again. but this time, it would be impossible.

“that's nothing.” he answers, “nothing will change.”

with kiyoomi sakusa, everything felt easier. even if you feel horrible today, you know that you will feel better tomorrow with him around. he helps you in every single thing. breakfast, ironing, gym— which is his favorite thing to do back then, and even tying your shoelaces.

you were together at every stage of your lives. prom, graduation, graduation ball, his acceptance in tokyo university because of his outstanding performance in both academics and volleyball, your acceptance in osaka university. his mvp award at the japan national collegiate volleyball championship, his recruitment in msby black jackals.

“congrats, omi,” you chuckled, hugging him tight, “it's not a surprise but i am so proud of you.”

“you always say that it's not a surprise whenever i win something,” he chuckled.

“because it's not!” you said, “that's just japan's number one ace for you... doing his thing...” you cupped his cheeks, “i can't wait to watch you at the olympics. you'll be there sooner than you expected, i just know.”

kiyoomi held your hand a planted a soft kiss on your knuckles, bringing butterflies in your stomach as he whispers, “i'll marry you.”

silence embraced the two of you. you didn't know how to respond to that. you're unsure if that's just a spur of the moment statement or he actually meant it. sakusa stares back at your eyes, “i'll marry you, once you're ready.”

“you will?” you pulled youself together and smiled at him.

he nodded, “just watch, i will really marry you.”

“you can wait? let's say... for eight more years?” you asked. it was a joke, but it's not impossible considering the amount of time that you have to dedicate to become a doctor.

“i can wait for a hundred years and i won't change my mind, baby.” kiyoomi answered and smiled, “eight years is a piece of fucking cake. i do not care, as long as i will marry you after all of this.”

you believe him. because that's kiyoomi sakusa.

he never once failed you. always keeping his word, always running to you. even after a match, if he knows that you're on a graveyard shift for your internship, he will visit you just to give you food and coat. in which some of your colleagues giggled over. it's rare to see msby black jackals' most promising rookie.

you yawned, “thank you for coming today. i know you're tired from the game.”

“not anymore,” he chuckled, pulling you into a tight hug, “i hope you're taking care of yourself. you should sleep and eat properly, you big baby.”

“you too.” you chuckled, “and don't take atsumu seriously all the damn time, that's why he's always making fun of you,”

kiyoomi made a face, “wanna take you home...”

“i'm sorry, i have to finish my shift.” you hugged him tighter. you miss him too, so much, that it's killing you. the both of you have been very busy with you doing your internship and omi consistently training for his matches. you miss him so much. you want to go home with him too. you want to kiss him for the whole night and make love. but you have to prioritize your internship first.

“no need to apologize, i understand, baby.” he whispered.

being with omi is like sailing in a calm sea. there's no reason to be afraid because you know that whatever happens, you'll see each other home. at the end of the day, you'll take a peaceful sleep beside him, with his arms around you and making you feel safe. you'll welcome another cozy and lazy morning with him, brushing your teeth as a morning routine and showering butterfly kisses to each other.

kiyoomi tugs your bottom lip using his, chuckling at that before showering kisses on your neck. this is just another weekend where the both of you doesn't have anything to do and when he's bored, he does the most unbelievable things. like putting hickeys on your neck.

“kiyoomi!” you laughed, “i have work tomorrow...”

“stop talking about work.” he said, “kiss me.”

you reached for his nape, pulling him close and chuckling with him as your lips collided with his once again. kissing sakusa is like hearing fireworks. it's been years since your first kiss, but the effect it had on you is still the same. when he starts caressing your waist, igniting the flame even more, you know you'd end up under his mercy once again.

he loves hearing you call his name desparately, begging him to give you what you want. it is the only moment where you're reversed because kiyoomi knows that beyond all of this, he's always the one who will answer all of your whims. sometimes, he thinks that he's more head over heels for you and that's okay. he loves being head over heels for you. he loves being inlove with you.

every summer, you and kiyoomi would go to your favorite beach, spending a day or two beside the quiet shore. taking each other's pictures using your film camera. after that, you would take the film rolls and have it processed, putting it in a memory box you kept through the years.

“we have to buy a new box, kiyoomi,” you said, taking a look at your old photographs with him, “i remember this!”

“when was that?” sakusa asked, “oh! your fangirl phase!”

“suck it up, i was never your fangirl.” you told him and laughed, “everyone would go gaga over you in itachiyama but i am not one of them. i never understood the hype...”

he made a face towards you, “you're lucky.”

“you're luckier, i literally had a crush on inarizaki's captain back then and i still ended up with your lucky ass...” you chuckled, “let's get a new box next weekend.”

his eyebrows furrowed, “who the fuck?”

you burst out laughing at his reaction.

kiyoomi sakusa easily gets jealous. something you will never understand because you know that he knows that you will only ever love him. still, when you seem so close to his teammates, like miya atsumu, he will start feeling something hateful in his stomach.

one time, you visited kiyoomi in his training with the jackals and brought food for the whole team. they have a match with adlers next week, with hinata shoyo playing his game for the first time. you know hinata from high school, he made such an impression in his games but he's very different from your boyfriend who doesn't seem to approachable at first glance.

miya atsumu, on the other hand, ate the food you brought immediately, giving comments as if he's a professional food guru and bokuto came mocking him. it's easy to be friends with omi's teammates.

“omi-omi's not in a good mood!” until atsumu pointed that out again. you looked over to your boyfriend who has this annoyed look on his face, trying to make the volley ball hit the floor harder than what he usually does, when it hits the floor and it made such a loud thud, atsumu gasps, “calm the fuck down, sakusa! you're nasty!”

atsumu leans forward to your ear, “he's jealous.”

“right.” you chuckled and sighed, watching kiyoomi.

he ignored you all throughout, doesn't even spare you a glance once you reach home and went straight to bed after cleaning up. lying down, you tried to hug his waist but he pushed your hands away, “omi, i don't even know why you're so worked up.”

“ask miya, maybe he'd know since you're best friends with him.” he uttered, yawning.

“you're jealous of atsumu? come on, be serious!” you said, laughing, “atsumu? really?”

“shut up.” he firmly said, “i'm going to sleep.”

“so we are not gonna talk about this and go to sleep like this? okay,” you scoffed, “i visited you, not anyone else. i am trying to be friends with them because they are your friends too, omi. i'm sorry.”

you lied down, turning your back away from him as well. the shut up was a little harsh. you couldn't help but tear up a little because of the frustration. you know that sakusa can be quite a handful with his choice of words and you understand that it's a bit of a struggle for him to communicate but it's still hurts. he's not always like this but when he is, you know that he's seriously mad.

your tears quietly fell through your cheeks to your pillow. you hate fighting with kiyoomi. you hate enduring a cold night when it could've been warm with him beside you. you hate nights like this, and kiyoomi hates it just as much. so, he turns over and slowly hugged you.

“i'm sorry, that was mean.” he whispered, “god, i'm so petty... i'm so sorry, baby...”

you faced him, his lips parted when he saw a stain of tears beside your eyes. he immediately pulled you into a tight hug, “i'm sorry. i should've been more thankful that you took the time to visit us when—”

“no, no,” you immediately stopped him, “your feelings are valid too, baby.”

he sighed, “but it wasn't valid to be that rude. i'm sorry,”

kiyoomi is prideful. everyone knows that. he has a reason for that. but, when it comes to you, he will always fold and eventually give in.

the love you had for each other isn't perfect. in fact, it's the complete opposite. it's flawed, so flawed that the both of you endured so many things. the stagnant days, the worst days. days when you want to walk away, days when he wants to be alone. your love is so flawed and that's okay, because a perfect relationship is nonexistent. a perfect relationship is fictional.

your love is flawed, but you kept choosing each other everyday.

“i failed. again.”

“baby, it's okay. you can always try again. let's not get tired. you can still—”

“you don't understand, sakusa.” kiyoomi's ears rang as you call him again by his last name, he stared at your empty eyes, swollen from crying the whole day. he didn't know. fuck, he didn't know. he was busy with training and their coach took their phones away.

“baby, i know. but—”

“you do not understand because you never felt like a failure.” you said, “because you are good at everything you do. because your dreams are not dreams anymore, they are already your reality. you don't understand.”

“what do you mean, then?” he asks, “that i did not work hard for this? nothing was handed to me in a silver platter. i went to tokyo university because i worked hard for it. i was able to achieve shit because i worked hard for it! and i am not saying that you did not work hard for this just because you failed but please stop invalidating my hard work!”

tears started streaming down your face, “don't put words in my mouth.”

“i am tired of this,” he remarked.

“me too.” you answered back, catching his eyes.

but what happens when you stop choosing each other everyday? what happens if love isn't enough anymore? what happens if it gets too tiring? what happens it kiyoomi sakusa isn't in love with you anymore?

“what happened to us?” you whispered under your breath, in the silence of the apartment and his guilty eyes, kiyoomi shook his head, unable to answer the question. you looked at him. the curly haired boy who used to love you so much felt like a stranger.

it has been three months. three months of trying to make things work out for the sake of invested time and memories. three months of trying to feel his warmth, three months of trying to run after him, three months of trying to know him again. but each second and millisecond of those three months just felt like he's further drifting away.

“there's someone else, right?” you asked.

he shuts his eyes and the silence answered you. oh my fucking god, it hurts. you don't even know how much it hurts, but it hurts, nonetheless. it hurts so much that you felt it in your veins, in your bones. it hurts so much because you already knew— this is over. and he's just waiting for you to walk away so he doesn't have to.

you stood up, “i'll... be going.”

“where? baby...” fuck you. your hands are shaking as you look at him again in disbelief. sakusa stands up, looking at you again, “i can leave instead—”

“no, this is your apartment. i'll leave.” you firmly said. silence embraced the two of you again and you wished for this to end already. it's too much, too much. you turned your back and immediately took the things you could for the meantime. sakusa waits in the sala.

your sobs became more clear when you saw the memory box below the bed. all of this... just to end it so horribly. all of this... just for it to be nothing. all of this... just for him to kiss another woman just because you're in a slump. all of this... just for him to fell out of love.

and there's nothing you can do.

was it your fault? was it his fault? was it anyone's fault? was it because of the things you said after failing the licensure examination? you were unsure. because you're sure as hell that no matter what the fuck is his reason, you do not deserve this bullshit.

maybe you make things complicated. maybe it was just a simple equation after all.

because maybe, sakusa kiyoomi just really fell out of love.

“i'm sorry,” he whispered once you went out of the room, preparing to really leave this apartment where you built your dreams together, “i'm really really sorry.”

you looked at him, “what went wrong, omi?”

he shuts his eyes tightly, before looking at yours again, “i don't love you anymore.”

#sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #sakusa x you #sakusa x reader #sakusa imagines #haikyuu!! #sakusa angst #angst #haikyuu angst #sakusa haikyuu #msby fluff #msby sakusa #msby headcanons #msby x y/n #msby x reader #kiyoomi sakusa #hq sakusa

[lucy90712]

Bad luck charm- Pedri

February 16th 2023 

41' Pedri replaced by sergi Roberto.

Pedri picks up an injury, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

May 14th 2023 

Pedri ruled out for the rest of the season with discomfort.

August 23rd 2023

Pedri picks up an injury in training, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

December 17th 2023 

Pedri picks up an injury, he is out and his recovery will determine his return.

March 3rd 2024

It's happened again. I can't believe it. Seeing him laying on the floor clearly in pain just broke me. He's not long come back from his last injury and it looks like he's injured again. What makes it all so much worse is that I'm here again it just seems that every time I can make it to a match Pedri gets hurt. I can't watch many matches because I'm either in classes or working and Pedri gets that in fact he says it makes it more exciting when I can make it to a game. As much as he gets excited I've come to fear going to matches as I'm sure I bring the team bad luck if it's not a injury for Pedri then it's a big loss for the team it just seems that something always goes wrong when I'm there. 

Watching Pedri limp off the pitch tears in his eyes made me wonder if this is all worth it. I love watching him play in person instead of on a screen but maybe that's the best way forward especially if it means he stays fit and the team does well. At this point I'm just hurting everyone I'm hurting Pedri and myself because I suffer too when he's out injured for weeks because he just isn't himself in that time. The more times this injury occurs the more upset Pedri is each time which in turn makes me feel awful because I just want him to be happy and do what he loves so maybe it's time that I finally admit to myself that I'm the problem to save us both more unnecessary pain.

I had to sit in my seat for the rest of the match which felt so cruel but eventually the match ended and I was able to get up from my seat and head down the tunnel to find Pedri. To start with security were hesitant to let me in but eventually they accepted that my pass was real when I was able to get Gavi to FaceTime me to prove we knew each other. I've never had such a struggle getting past security before but I guess that really just sums up today and probably my luck at matches in general. Finally I made it through but by the time I did all the players had already gone in the locker room so I just had to stand outside and wait but I did send a text to Pedri first telling him I was there whenever he was ready. 

It wasn't long before a red and puffy eyed Pedri limped his way out of the locker room looking at the floor refusing to meet my eyes. Still he came straight over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist burying his head in my shoulder. Of course I've seen Pedri upset before but this is the most upset I've seen him about football; he goes silent and doesn't like to let go of me when he's really sad and thats exactly how he is now. It hurts so much seeing him so distraught at being injured again, he's been working so hard to not only recover but stop himself from getting injured and and clearly he feels like none of it was worth it. As much as I want to tell him it's not his fault and that I'm just bad luck now isn't the time he needs my support and that's what I'll give him. 

Originally the plan was for me to get on the last flight back to Barcelona this evening and land when Pedri would be able to pick me up after leaving the training centre but plans have changed. Pedri didn't want me to leave so he asked maybe begged to bring me on the flight back with the team and the people with the club couldn't say no especially seeing how distraught he was. As much as I wanted to I couldn't be by his side the entire time as I had to board the flight first with all the team staff but luckily they allowed me to sit with Pedri so I took my seat and just had to wait. Realistically it wasn't that long before he arrived but it sure felt like forever until I saw him coming down the aisle of the plane looking mostly at the ground. 

He sat down next to me and rested his head on my shoulder as he began crying again. I moved so that his head rested on my chest which allowed me to hold him closer while running my hand through his hair as that usually calms him down a bit. After we took off some of the boys tried coming over to comfort Pedri or just see how he was doing but he didn't want to talk he just made a few noises or made me talk for him. Eventually everyone left us alone but that didn't really make things any better Pedri was still upset and I was left alone with my own thoughts. 

"Everything will be ok you know that right" I said to help comfort Pedri and quieten down my own thoughts in my head 

"Will it though I'm injured again what if it's another relapse then everything I've done to prevent it has been a waste of time" Pedri sniffled 

"Don't say that for one we don't know what is wrong yet it may not be a relapse and two all of the changes you have made will benefit you in years to come when you are still playing at 35" I said 

"I'm not going to be playing then" he said 

"Why not if you keep doing what your doing the injuries will get better and you can play for many more years" I said 

"I know it's tough right now but you need to stay positive feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to make you any better I want to see the extremely motivated Pedri I saw during your last injury" I added 

"You're right but it is really difficult especially after I've had so many injuries" he said 

"I know how about you get out all your emotions tonight then tomorrows a new day so we can both be extra positive" I said 

He offered me a small smile before burying his head again. I can see that he's broken inside which only makes me feel worse. How can I possibly bring such suffering to the person I love the most. Once Pedri fell asleep in my arms I let out a few tears of my own because I just feel so bad that he has to go through this all again just because I actually attended a match.

~~~~~~~~~~

After yesterday I decided to work from home today so I could be there when Pedri came back from getting his medical tests done. Even if the prognosis is better than we first thought I still want to be here for him to either comfort him or celebrate the little win. Working from home is supposed to involve working but I've done very few productive tasks as I've only been thinking about Pedri. I can't get the image of his face with his red eyes from crying out my head I've never seen him so broken and fragile and I don't think I could handle seeing it again so I definitely need to tell him that I can't come to games anymore. 

3 long agonising hours later I got a text from Pedri telling me he was on his way back home. I tried focusing on work but quickly gave up and decided I'd prepare a snack for both of us, it was nothing complicated but it kept my mind occupied. Luckily it all took me long enough that by the time I was done I heard Pedri's car pulling into the driveway. I didn't want to seem too eager so I stayed in the kitchen and made myself look busy until Pedri announced his presence and came to join me. He had a smile on his face which was such a relief but I still wanted to hear exactly what had gone on.

"Come on tell me what happened" I said 

"The injury isn't as bad as we first thought and it's not a relapse it's a new injury so I shouldn't be out for as long" he said 

"Thats great I'm so happy for you" I said giving him a hug 

"It's such a relief it's not good being out again but it doesn't feel quite as bad knowing that it's not the same injury again" he said 

"Yeah that is a relief" I said 

"Is everything ok with you?" He asked 

"Yeah yeah I'm fine I do need to get back to work though" I said giving him a quick kiss 

It's not often I work from home as I never get as much done and it's harder to manage my team from home but sometimes it's nice to be a bit more comfortable. Whenever I do work from home Pedri always leaves me be only coming into my office to bring me water or food but today he came in just a few minutes after I had got settled and sat on the little armchair I have in the corner of the room. As I worked he gradually pulled the chair closer until he was sat right next to my desk watching me as I worked. Don't get me wrong it was nice to have his company but he never does this so I was a bit confused as to why he was being so clingy all of a sudden. I kept trying to focus but whenever I did anything Pedri would lean in to press a kiss to my cheek which took away all my concentration. 

I tried to hard to keep working but I was just so distracted that I stopped what I was doing and turned to face Pedri to see if he would tell me why he was being so clingy. Instead of doing that he grabbed my face and gave me a kiss which I thought might be what he wanted but then he gave me another one and then another until I stopped him. 

"What has got into you" I laughed 

"I just want to spend time with my girlfriend and give her lots of love" he said 

"That's not the only reason is it, what's on your mind?" I asked

"I want to know what's on your mind I know there's something you aren't telling me and you know I can't help unless you tell me" he said 

"It's sounds stupid but I think I'm a bad luck charm every time I go to watch you play in person something bad happens either you get injured or the team loses and every time it's so upsetting so I just think I shouldn't go to matches anymore" I explained 

"Do you really blame yourself?" He asked 

"Well yeah bad things only happen when I'm there I know you guys lose when I'm not but things always seem worse when I go" I said 

"That's just a coincidence there's games you've been to that we won like when we won the league you were there that day and you came to watch when we won the super copa it's not you it's just been a rough time recently but I promise it's not you" he said 

"Maybe until things are better I shouldn't go to matches I don't want everyone to start resenting me because I'm making things worse" I said 

"No one is going to hate you we aren't having the best season but that's not your fault ok and I need you there having you at matches motivates me to play even better" he said 

"Are you sure?" I questioned

"Of course even if you are a bad luck charm which you aren't you are my bad luck charm and I'd bring you everywhere if I could because I just like having you with me" he said giving me a kiss which made me feel so much better

#pedri imagine #pedri x reader #pedri #football imagine #pedri imagines

[bigb-enthusiast]

Hi! I don't watch much Bigb because I don't have time to watch more than one or two life series povs usually, but I feel bad about making him an afterthought in my content cause he has such good vibes. As the local Bigb enthusiast. I wanna watch a few of his videos at least, if there are any you can recommend that are particularly useful for getting a better idea of who he is generally, or if there's any advice you can give on how you think he should be portrayed that fanon tends to get wrong?

Hii! I can help uhh the best way i Can help you with portraying him is like? Watching every episode? But yk. Its a lot of episodes. But heres some i can help with

3rd Life episodes 12 + 13 (his finals)

Last Life episodes 4(pt 1 + 2), 5, 7, & 8

Double Life episodes 3, 4, & 5

Limited Life episodes 6, 7, & 8

Secret Life episodes 1, 2, 5, 7, 9

Sorry i just gave you (and whoever else follows this) like 18 videos 🧍 he just used to split his videos into parts and then also he showed more of his character further as the season(s) went again id really recommend watching Every video of his cause theres just so many details you can find but i picked what couldve been seen as more important within his character

Fanon wise he is normally not going to betray people on purpose, its usually by force of the game and hes actually rather caring. He tends of isolate but also stay quiet when theres more than at least 2-3 people in an area unless hes Really close with them, despite isolating a lot hes very easy to force or drag into an alliance and also when he does he tends to become super clingy to at least one person such as ren and then cleo who despite betraying he tried to get back with her whether its on good terms or an alliance for at least around the 3-4 seasons that happened after she declared he was dead to her, ive seen people characterize him as innocent which no his first interaction with joel EVER in 3L was a big dick joke /t /lh, and also he is also portrayed as ruthless or mean specifically during the soulmate scandal. He wouldnt have really did it if he knew it hurt scar THAT bad (which in canon it DIDNT. Sorry scar did NOT care)

#salt talks #bigbst4tz2 #trafficblr