#for autistic ppl to b a part of

[artificialcats]

.

#supposed to b having a call w friends tonight for my bday but im so burnt out and emotional lately i just keep bursting into tears when #i go to join the call #ive been putting it off rescheduling all day bc my work schedule sucks and itll b at least a week #until we could (potentially if ppl r available) call again and my bday is friday so im like hhhh #but i dont have the energy to mask and pretend to b happy #but alternatly i dont want to b what is supposed to b a celebration For me b a downer bc im sad and crying #iit sucks too bc part of my struggle lately has been loneliness but now i dont even have the energy to call w friends (something that wiuld #like. help with that :’) #and i feel so embarassed and ashamed that i cant just ‘push thru it’ #especially bc only one of these ppl knows im autistic and im too scared to bring it up to anyone else #and too embarassed to ask for accomodations in a friend group #ive been struggling sm lately w this recent need for mkre support and accomodations and not mnowing where/how to impliment them and have #ppl take me seriously #update i called it off after crying AGAIN when trying to get myself in the call and i feel zero relief #feels like a rock on my chest

[unproduciblesmackdown]

truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery

#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one #wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature'' #Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure #and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all #born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b) #investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there''] #all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao #b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character #but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout #as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response #not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it] #& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol #& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts #and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao #so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery #embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!] #2 trans 2 furious #which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there #was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol'' #page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao #classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice #which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be #like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah #do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost #& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure] #and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao

[opens-up-4-nobody]

dont feel the need to publish this if you dont want to, but mayhaps consider an autism evaluation?

Technically, I could argue I already have an autism diagnosis bc last time I was assessed for dyslexia my results came back marking me with: anxiety and aspergers, along with my inability to read lol

#and i mean she was qualified to give me all those lables but like aspergers isnt a diagnosis anymore and i think she just rubber stamped me #on vibes bc i dont think we stepped thru the actual diagnostic questions. but i mean shes not the only one to mention it #so like im probably autistic but it becomes blurry bc its very very likely i have 0cpd and the rigidness #that condition encapsulates could also look like mild autism. but again im like zero eye contact #i feel horribly betrayed when it turns out ppl arent saying exactly what theyre thinking to my face bc it comes #completely out of nowhere for me. and lots of other things. so like i probably fit in thst box. it just annoys me that #i dont fit perfectly enough thst it could b other things #and it doesn't even matter. i just happened to b a pathological perfectionist and wanted everything to b perfectly explained #and conceptualized. when ultimately all that matters is finding effective coping methods. and not uh just becoming increasingly controling #which is my go to. my beloved #but then theres also ppl with adhd 🤝 me. mostly bc horrible exeutive function and i literally have the short term working memory of a #child. which is part of what makes me dyslexic. also my focus is like a thing i can't control but that could b for any number of reasons #anyway point is. yes formal autism assignment would b under consideration #unrelated

[dogt-eeth]

I'm so so lucky that my blog isn't popular, like Genuinely. I get One slightly rude response to a post and I'm Seething for the rest of the day. I am Not the Bigger Man! Kudos to everyone who can deal w that shit, could Not be me tho, like Seriously

#i know some people use the phrase chaos to refer to chao plural. but i dont! i do not! and judging by my poll neither do like. 10 other ppl #who voted! i am seething #this might sound like a Huge stretch of logic on my part but i kind of think this is an autism thing for me? autists ive talked to seem to #do smth similar where they also have trouble dropping arguments until a satisfying conclusion can b reached. and i do that too! unfortunate #ly this is the Hell Dimension where you cant just Discuss things but like especially not single comments that bother you and no one else #makes me sound too internet pilled i Swear im having civil conversations with people in Real Life and listening and learning etc etc

[distortingbones]

allistic people are always like "think before you speak" but like one of THEE defining characteristics of autism is having a slower processing speed so thinking our words through *takes longer* than it does for allistics! so basically you have to choose between a) taking a fucking WHILE to think before you speak (miss your opportunity to talk, or allistic people get frustrated/decide you're stupid) or b) saying something kinda thoughtless (allistic people get offended and don't listen when you try to explain what you ACTUALLY meant just bc you communicated it poorly the first time)

anyway i am hypothesizing that this is a big part of why autistic people are so often stereotyped as being callous/thoughtless in our speech. not bc we don't think about our words or care about their impact, but bc allistic ppl *do not allow us the time we need* to think about our words.

#actuallyautistic #autism tag

[violentviolette]

someone on instagram was like ppl with aspd hate autistic people and vice verse (they were much ruder) so i’m here to say ppl with aspd are sick and we should all go go concerts together

absolutely fucking hilarious stance for them to take given the fact that the aspd and autism venn diagram is practically a cirlce

the more and more i research into it the more it is glaringly obvious that aspd and autism are very closely linked

i think looking at aspd as one potential trauma presentation for autistic people makes the entire disorder make more sense. there was a point when ppl thought they might be the same disorder and thought autism inherently caused antisocial behaviors but then as more studies were done it proved that was incorrect and autism does not inherently cause violent or antisocial behavior and so the two were seperated.

but imo the crucial component being left out is trauma. when u traumatize autistic people, thats when they exhibit antisocial behaviors (among others i dont think apsd is the *only* way traumatized autistics can present, i actually think all cluster b pds except hpd are potential presentations (which for the record i leave hpd out because i believe hpd should be its own seperate catagory of sexual trauma based ptsd because thats absolutely what it is and catagorizing it with cluster b pds makes little sense)).

so its not the autism that causes the behaviors, its the trauma. aspd is inherently a trauma disorder, and so when u traumatize autistic ppl or even just ppl whose brains function closer to autistic brains than alltistic brains, the behaviors they exhibit are antisocial behaviors

i think it just makes sense when u remove the ableism from the aspd criteria and break the disorder down to its base parts. things like lack of emotional empathy, devaluing social and societal norms, difficulty making meaningful connections with others, low tolerance for boredome and understimulation, overstimulation feelings resulting in violent reactions, impulsive behavior, perseveration on specific thoughts or ideas, a rejection of outside logic and influence that favors ones own internal sense of logic, opperant defiance, ect.

i think we'd end up with a much better understanding of antisocial behavior if we viewed it from a traumatized autistic lense. i cannot count the number of times someone has described a "crazy psychopath" and if u take more than 3 seconds to look at their behavior its obviously just an incredibly distressed and maladjusted autistic person

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd tag #actually aspd #cluster b #cluster b safe #cluster b pds

[korny-mf]

i had sum thoughts like i always do while eating strawberries w chocolate

we all know harrison is magical

bro is just different he got the sigma energy

he so skibidi sigma slay gyatt he b mewing since 1914

okay now that i got the attention of gen alpha i can continue

i think when they were makin the characters they made max first cuz main character

they made him a jerk

then they decided to add a magic kid cuz of the "ooh this camp is very weird and unnatural and nobody is normal" shit and that kid was harrison

i bet they thought they could make harrison the bully or jerk of the camp cuz he magical he can flex on everyone w dat talent n threaten everyone n make everyone do what he says etc

but then they remembered max already exists

and they probably added nurf cuz stereotypical bully or whatever

and so they went "damn we cant let this boy go to waste lets just give him all the fucking trauma out there"

with that our boy has a dead brother 2 parents that r scared of him 9 kids bullying him (maybe 7 without dolph n sk) and 2 counselors that dont stop the kids

i bet they later decided to make him the emo kid that was gonna get his revenge soon thas why he changed like dat in s5 but they already had the cringey hitler character and didnt wanna make another cringe character that everyone would say is stolen from the 2019 gacha videos

cya later on my next random ass thought autistic ppl

edit: im realizin that last part makes no sense lol this old ass show was made in either 2017 or 2016 smth

#camp camp #camp camp harrison #cc harrison

[qweei]

I've started to notice two types of shitty autism parenting and i wanna talk about it though it might be pretty generalizing

tw for overall shitty parents, emotional neglect.

type A: the denial parent

aka the "refuse to acknowledge that their perfect little child is in fact autistic". they will constantly go on and on about how "mild" and perfectly "normal" they are and "not like those autistics"

they completely see autism/disability as a bad thing and even the word itself is dirty to them, so they'll use every other term but those two like "special, superpower, aspie ("they have aspergers not autism!") etc etc. constantly whenever their child's autism is brought up around others, will feel the need to compensate for it, like bringing up their achievements and things they can do, whether that'd be how they have a job, got into a good school etc. as if autistic people can't do that. because they refuse to acknowledge any of the child's weaknesses or flaws, they will never actually do anything to help them, might even scold them for this.

no one needs to compensate for anything, nor feel any shame for just straight up being who they are, this goes for everyone but especially neurodivergent/disabled ppl. not to go psychoanalyze anyone but many autistic ppl i've meet with these kinds of parents/ or just in general share the same view points mentioned, just always end up having so much built of rage, self hatred and completely lack any self acceptance.

type b: hopeless/self-pity parent

usually the parent of a early diagnosed autistic child, whom almost immediately after being diagnosed just straight up gives up on them. "oh well, what can i do..." *proceeds to emotionally neglect and refuse to raise their child*

like type a, they see autism as a bad thing, something that will forever just be forced to deal with. despite acknowledging their child's diagnosis, it's not acceptance, not at all. often you'll hear them talk about how hard it is for them personally, basically searching for pity points despite never actually putting any effort into being their for their kid. even worse, if the parent has another children who are neurotypical, they will VERY clearly treat them a lot better than their neurodivergent one.

these kinds of parents never actually put any effort in growing close with their autistic kid, like they're needs, what they like doing etc, so when they do act out because of their needs never being met, instead of trying to understand or help them they just go "it's their autism"

parents like this often from the outside gain a lot of pity from other parents, because to them the child is just acting out for no other reason than them being autistic and that's just something their parent simply "can't" do anything about it! (news flash: they can!)

ofc you can't get rid of your child's autism, it's simply just a part of them, however that doesn't mean that child doesn't need to raised or giving support like idk every other child? big fucking surprise of but autism isn't the reason your child is violent or an asshole. you neglecting their emotional needs and rather spending all your time complaining does! i understand it can be hard to raise/take care of someone who's autistic, hell it's hard in general to raise any kid, but my sympathy falls flat when instead of trying help you just blame everything on their autism.

though just wanna say that, most parents i've met who fall under this catagory, i wouldn't consider emotionally neglect or abusive to that severe of an extent. i have however noticed a pattern of parents who despite their child being diagnosed, just never actually put any effort into learning about it or understanding their child? aka basically gives up. they usually only listen to what professionals / ppl who work with autistic ppl have to say about their child, which can be very harmful since those people (in my experience) 80% of the time have no clue what they are even talking about.

#autism parenting #autism #actually autistic #neurodivergency #asd #autism spectrum

[soullessjack]

don't want to wade into discourse but do want to say i appreciate your takes on Jack's character. it's just really refreshing. a lot of fandom straight up does not want to engage with Jack's thematic core, aka 'young man is INCREDIBLY powerful & he has to struggle w/ his relationship to his powers / learning to use them for good' when that character idea is very compelling & also doesn't work if Jack has no agency/autonomy/makes no real choices/is a child. it is complicated, because Jack is a young adult (say, an 18-year-old and a 40-year-old are both adults, but their maturity level is VERY different) and didn't choose his power, but I don't understand why the fandom framing that Jack shouldn't have that power/responsibility/should be a child is more sympathetic than Jack learning how to use his powers & coming into his own. (which is how I read his story even if the writing was thin at times.)

hi, thank u!! 🫶🫶

I think most of the fandom’s refusal simply stems from the idea that he doesn’t deserve what he goes through/the burden he has to carry, and that’s all well and good, but it obviously starts to spiral into never seeing him as a complex autonomous person who can handle responsibility or experience trauma, which then gets grossly simplified into never seeing him as a person at all.

I honestly think it’s become kind of a cycle. People don’t want to acknowledge what he’s experiencing beyond “he doesn’t deserve this,” so -> ppl refuse to engage with him as a full complex adult character -> then don’t understand that autonomy is a fundamental part of him and his narrative -> so they make the decision to de-age him -> which hinges on the idea that he’s giving up his autonomy or never had it to begin with, and -> that becomes the most popular way to see his character, so -> they shut out anything that opposes it -> and they don’t see the problem with it because they don’t understand what they’re taking away because (see above).

I admit it sounds like pointless discourse from that perspective, but

A) this fandom has complained about far less for far longer, especially when it comes to their favorite characters being misunderstood and misrepresented

B) people have a right to be frustrated over their passions, especially when the problem is persistent and basically an open secret that nobody wants to change. this isn’t just about the autistic perspective on him. It’s general fandom, as well.

C) the added perspective of jack being autistic (which frankly goes beyond headcanon or simple interpretation, but that’s its own post) makes this more than petty discourse. fiction and reality go hand in hand with each other, especially in any issue concerning representation of a real group. that being said, when a marginalized community tells you that something is harmful, you listen.

sorry for the long reply lol. ofc it’s not directed at you, I’m just putting it out there in general. and thank u again! It’s nice to know that my silly ramblings are appreciated 🫶🫶

#holdthypeace.txt #spn #spn fandom #jack kline #fandom discourse #but not really discourse like this is kind of important actually ^_^

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Who in your life do you think you’ve had the best astrological compatibility with?

taurus & capricorn 💟 s2g its impossible for me to form a lasting bond w anyone who doesnt have a major placement in one of those signs. virgo i do ok with mostly my fellow virgo moons i feel instant connection but virgo suns seem to b repelled by me i think they r usually too judgemental/petty about small details & our vibes clash as friends but i like following them on social media lol. air signs i luv too since i am very airy aloof friendly but distant. basicLly i just love ppl who r cold and detached like meeeee🤩 the mutual feeling of needing space is a big part of what makes me feel secure. watery types love me at first but theyre like too sensitive it neevr lasts. they want to have this bond thats so close almost like merging & idk thats just not natural to me i have too many walls. i hate hugs and shit lol im not soft n cozy like them. firey ppl find me boring and the rly loud exuberant ones i cant hang w/ them im too autistic lol. (my whole family is wild intense fire signs & they always kinda bullied me for my melancholic/robotic disposition). but i do know some more quiet composed fire signs who i find very entertaining and cool we're just not close.

i like all signs for different reasons but at the end of the day i am just a rly difficult person to Know😇 So its mostly skill issue on my part. taurus and cap types are by far my longest most loyal companions who have the patience for my ways. ty for the Q<3

[a-route-up-if-i-fall]

assassins creed headcanons

idc how backed these r by actual canon btw. if u have a different view of these characters, that's completely okay. that's great, even. i'm just sharing mine ._.

altaïr is autistic. he fidgets a lot in private/when he's not "working." when he's ab to assassinate someone, he's hyper-focused and gets almost obsessive about every detail. his life as an assassin is his special interest and he has a waxing and waning hyperfixation on greek philosophy, specifically empedocles. he's demisexual and in love w malik. switch but always ends up bottoming.

ezio is obviously a slut. he likes to refer to himself as a playboy, and some ppl see him as a bit of a womaniser, but in reality he is literally out to give ppl a good time. in that way, he is a little whore of a man. pansexual. non committal but deeply loyal to his friends and fellow assassins.

connor likes to pretend he is stoic but i feel as though he is just shy and socially awkward. he desperately wants to understand the templars, but he finds it so difficult to sympathise with them after everything. i hope he kills colonisers for fun.

edward is secretly (or not so much) into men but refuses to admit it. he's a pirate so he knows all ab buggering let's just b honest. jim gave him like the fright of his life bc he thought he might actually be falling for a man so when she told him she was mary, he had mixed emotions. first, disappointed. next, oh thank jaysus i'm straight. that was not something he was ready to confront.

shay is fucking depressed and has issues w moral perfectionism. he wants to be good but wonders how he can b if he remains loyal to the assassins. he's also secretly not sure if the templars are in the right but thinks siding with them is the way to helping the most ppl. ambition is his fatal flaw. he regrets that things w the brotherhood ended as they did.

arno has an addictive personality. canonically, he's struggled w booze and gambling, but i think it's something that he is constantly fighting. he thought he would never be sober again after élise died, but surprisingly he found that drinking didn't bring him any comfort. he was just empty :(( he is also transmasc and i will not be elaborating.

jacob has adhd (though doesn't know the term for it obviously). one way he manages it is through exercise. so whenever he feels especially unfocused or irritable, he just freeruns the rooftops of london or finds someone to train with/fight. i can't help but imagine him as the jocks at school who ARE allies and would do anything to stand up for his queer friends but says problematic shit sometimes bc he just doesn't know the correct terms or anything. (edit: at the time of posting this i didn't know that he is canonically bisexual. as far as i can tell it was only made clear by one post from ubisoft. and i am disappointed in myself for not realising that. i feel like this is a part of a bigger issue of ambiguous queer storytelling especially in video games. it should have been far more explicit imo. but i'm always happy to see more gay rep)

evie wants to travel. she secretly writes poetry and doesn't show it to anyone. she studies latin for fun. she's really really good at maths actually. she was a bit of a snitch as a kid, but then she grew up and learnt it was better to just keep quiet about stuff she wasn't meant to see. she's a simp.

aya/amunet died before bayek. he had to recover her body from the roman hidden ones. he made sure that she had the best embalmers, a lavish burial chamber. and when he died, the community made sure they were buried together. back in the day, the chamber held scrolls that spoke of amun, with images of sekhmet and horus lining the walls. an earthquake left the tomb in the state u see it in in origins. they're buried not far from the necropolis that holds khemu's body.

kassandra loved her immortality initially. she spent her days doing impulsive things just because she could. only they got stale after a while. the fear of being alone for an unknown amount of time overcame her as she started losing people. until we get to valhalla and she learns that maybe it's okay not to be alone always, but feels like she always has to keep moving.

eivor is gender fluid. she eventually loses her eye, like odin, and despises how it makes her look like him. she never had children. ik that she's canonically into men however i feel its more comphet than genuine attraction. she ends up w randvi.

#altair ibn la'ahad #assassin's creed #assassins creed #asscreed #gay assassins #ac1 #assassinscreedseries #ac valhalla #ac2 #ezio auditore da firenze #ezio auditore #ezio trilogy #ac3 #ratonhnhaké:ton #connor kenway #edward kenway #shay cormac #arno dorian #ac unity #jacob frye #evie frye #ac syndicate #ac origins #ac odyssey #bayek of siwa #kassandra of sparta #eivor varinsdóttir #eivor wolfkissed

[unproduciblesmackdown]

already was musing on how like, here's an intro that's Establishing Things, and it's like, does it matter that we were given a quants interaction of winston being like "hey you were nice to me there, actually. it reminds me of how" only for rian to pull the nice maneuvers of not wanting to listen to him share anything, being willing to just issue an order to someone about what he gets to do (talk for ten seconds) and doing so, then some underwhelming flair used to insult him surely, i guess that he's so stupid(tm) or whatever. like, wondering does that mean anything really that that was just about rian being an asshole, as has been sprinkled in before, just little moments that deadend with winston just feeling Disheartened b/c rian was shitty for no reason. does it mean anything that she did anything for the quant duo before that in refusing a chance to not sit next to him. theoretically just a [we're still tmc] kind of choice to stick together, and sure didn't move her to even treat him like a person she dislikes, just a nonperson she also dislikes

and relatedly it's going to be just as hilarious as rian, what, implying winston hasn't heard / of the french language, that the theory that rian and dollar bill become some kind of duo based on being Hilarious(tm) but also just terrible to any & everyone and bullying people has only more plausible, And that this episode of billions' introduction / establishment of dollar bill is decidedly centered around "yeah nobody likes this guy or can stand to deal with him. not even the people paid to be there, not even the self-declared Too Nice guy who kept choosing hanging out with dollar bill & his bullying over working & hanging out with his friend taylor" so it sure doesn't seem like that's leaving much room for [oh that was an oversight] if dollar bills going to fuck off into mpc hq on the regular and rian's immediately going to be like of course i can roll with this fuckin asshole

and truly a distillation of "rian's supposedly gets the 'good' treatment of More Material & being taken more seriously by other characters, but this only meant that instead of any sense of character &/or her own actual subplots ever, she's whatever a different more prominent character needs for their plot at any given time; winston's peripheral funny little guy unimportance & insulting treatment is still so much better re: being a character" if winston gets the worst treatment of being shoved out of mpc by episode three and rian is graced with hanging around most or all season only to be judged & condemned to now have that loss of [quant duo] replaced with being insufferable bullying horrible person dollar bill's New Friend and like, right away, with ease. and like i was saying like i would not argue with that, if rian had the consistent principle of treating anyone with basic respect she wouldn't be treating winston as a nonperson, and of course she has a broader capacity for being an asshole to anyone at any point that's just drier and less [outbursts of physical aggression] than dollar bill's style.

no idea what rian's overall arcs could be when yknow, why is she here, why has she stayed here, her most relevance right now gets to be "has the dialogue capacity to talk about getting prince with a sex scandal. also has zero thoughts on how power factors into one rather than that you just need to be polite about it?" which only feels truly character specific when held up against "rian was supposedly bullied but also Above even hating the people who did it. but she is also a bully and not even especially emotionally detached about it, even though how she treats winston is more important than how she feels about it" like basically "also a bully" is her most coherent deal. and it's just Interesting that simply being mean to winston is again basically pointed out, and her future bestie or [put in the same shots duo status] dollar bill is Impending but the episode was like "yeah of course everyone hates this guy, for being awful" and the joke nonjoke the whole time that unfortunately rian might get along just fine with bill as workplace (and probably also life in general, it's not a honed strategy they limit to the office) bullies

so that That's what rian gets for getting to stick around, while winston Might get to be shoved out of the fund hq with any character flair from him and, i do unfortunately have to wonder harder now, maybe any relevance afforded to the way people have treated him, indeed maybe rian especially, his personal bully and abusive friend. and because other people also see rian as better than him & maybe also winston as [not a person], if winston does anything that's indeed deliberately petty, mean, Angry, etc, towards rian, That will be seen as unacceptable vs the yknow checks notes years of cruel interpersonal treatment from rian to winston, but nothing hangs in the balance on that front, people won't suddenly be like "nice. winston's a person to me now, which, why am i even in a position to Decide that" if he's shoved out & goes quietly & politely and creates no problems in return. and, very much like dollar bill, i don't think rian will change, but for winston's own sake it would be Heartening if he voices his experience such that we know he knows it was bullshit, even though of course rian, and probably anyone else, isn't going to choose to listen past 5 seconds, least of all when he's clearly indicating a general state of irritation. rooting for flair and idiosyncrasy for him and indeed that the best sources for that could be with taylor, please, the person he's always been here for, rian, the person for years now bullying him more than she does anyone else or more than anyone else does to winston, and even fun if there's anything with tuk his apparent genuine friend tuk, and by "fun" i mean "such a delight i daren't really think much abt it From Canon"

anyways the tl;dr i suppose is that winston getting apparently thrown away in the first third of the season is insulting treatment but rian getting to stay and be dollar bill's wretched bestie is truly the worse fate and basically that distillation of like. oh winston's bringing it on himself he's so annoying nobody likes him, while in actuality all the ways he's never fit in or done things "right" and how he would never have been hired if taylor hadn't done it are all compliments and endorsements. while rian's been viewed as a capable valuable person by all from the start and treated as Better Than even others who are still also seen people, but her "success" and the shit she gets to continue to do in how she treats people b/c nothing about being at work stops that and some things facilitate & reward it, see: also dollar bill being around the whole time & now also back, definitely include treating a friendly coworker any which way, which she usually chooses to be: badly. and of course shoutout to the thread of taylor being like "if you stay btw you'll probably get all fucked up" but like also rian just Brought the [i'm a bully but it's fine when i do it. it's bad when it happens to Me] stance from the start, but like, obviously always the opportunity to get worse and just be left off with that implication of Never Trying To Learn, just like your new good friend dollar bill

real tl;dr As Fates Go winston being shitted on & fired / driven to quit >>>>>>>> rian sticking around, befriending dollar bill. and like not in the way i'm arguing that the fate is worse like In Conceptual Quality. it's just a hell of a potential condemnation / indirect illustration of like, here's this person it's horrible to be around, here's a reminder rian is cruel to this coworker on a dime anytime, here's rian deciding the horrible person is Alright anyways. maybe they'll be busy with a bullying power struggle the whole time. and maybe winston will get to appear outside the fund actually. just really something to be going like "oh my god lmao rian and dollar bill might actually be specifically getting along well as fellow [be horrible to coworkers] bullies and assholes who feel Above It, it being many other people, this being a kind of requirement there" and to be wondering if billions will make this fact that rian's job is being an asshole more relevant at all, if even to be like yeah leaving off with a lost cause here, including that i really doubt winston can Get Through To her even with his ability & willingness to air his grievances, and like, as though oh actually winston brought it upon himself b/c rian just didn't knowww, that's on him and his visible pain & verbal expressions of that pain & requests that she stop which Weren't Enough, and as though maintaining that onesided dynamic for bullying and demeaning and shutting down and abusing was like an unconscious accidental coincidence every time and not its own Active Process, regardless of what the other person does or doesn't do, and with the agenda of maintaining that [i'm the person who chooses how things go; they're the object that reacts accordingly like it's laws of physics level of demands of reality] one-sided relationship, so they'd only just be looking to react to what that other person does or doesn't do in ways that serve those purposes anyway. sometimes rian's "nicer" but she's still the one deciding how everything goes, winston can only roll with it like a ball at the top of a ramp like, of course, unquestionable. cue space winston, zero gravity

haha another tl;dr. winston being disposed of is a warmer Fate to assign a character than rian's potential "of course she's friends with dollar bill now" like lmfao Ouch. but yeah of course.

#one wrench in things is no idea if [winston :/ing at rian hugging taylor out in the open] will play into anything #didn't seem to affect him now and if it was absolute Need To Know we might've been reminded. but it's billions; no guarantees #and similarly; whatever bullshit gets him shoved out &/or leaving on his own is bound to be unguessable #already dealing with tmc problems; being on on the floor; not much taylor time; though their being Away is new / unknown #winston billions #rian could've at least been nonbinary. but they can't be like no NO rian is not [still Questioning] [and in part thus still closeted too] #winston quant billions sees his new nonbinary person he wants to impress & will be penciling in [swoon about it] immediately #at least with taylor he's just largely had to deal with that distance / lack of access already in general #re: rian it's like yeah here's your new devoted bully to sit next to you who Doesn't actually want you to Never talk to her #b/c he has to have hopes to be dashed & speak up to be made to shut up & be more Available in general than if he Avoided her in general #iconic to take your autistic bestie's interest & hang out to engage w/them abt it until you lash out at them over it for chatting abt it #[rian calls winston a slur] is truly there in spirit even if it doesn't manifest #or that the difference in her & dollar bill is in just variations in affect & specific strategies. not in spirit #like she might do the office: you don't call [rworded] ppl [rwords]. it's bad taste. you call your friends [''s] when they're acting [''ed] #but that's also in a world where it's an episode abt everyone hatecriming winston for being himself Out as autistic #and idk if rian would refer to winston as a friend. she would if it kept him strung along with that hope on his end anyways but #5x05 through 5x07 riawin really had so much potential but it's being realized in taylip #and itself became ''yeah rian could get along fine with dollar bill'' b/c she won't regard winston as a person #true of many other people but they want to ignore him most of the time vs use him as a chew toy so

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so the other day i learned what obsessive Compulsive personality disorder is. which id known abt for a while but the online definitions #dont sound like me so i was like idk whatever. but i listened to a podcast deepdive from a psychologist and the way he broke it down and #the accounts from other ppl sound extremely like me. like i dont quite fit the online definition of pathological perfectionism #like im not totally inhibited by making X thing perfect. but i am extremely rigit it basically all of my behaviors to the point of self #destruction. like my obsessive Compulsive behaviors are sinisterly webbed into every aspect of my being. almost like its part of my #personally. so yeah. i think that might b my issue. bc i dont quite fit ocd. like i sometimes have intrusive thoughts but it feels #different than ocd stuff most of the time. and ocpd can look v much like mild autism so idk. i might still b autistic but idk. but i do #think i might have found my issue. bc it sounds like me. it sounds like my dad. it sounds like my nana. so what will i do with this info? #idk maybe nothing. bc changing is hard but i feel like i have a better vocabulary for articulating my struggles now #its hard to make ppl understand sometimes bc its like oh boohoo ur good at saving money. and its like no u dont understand. if i go away #for a conference i cant buy food. its extremely pathetic #stuff like that where on its face it seems like a good thing but its causing me a lot of pain #unrelated

[ferretwhomst]

rick sanchez for 7, 8, and 12 :]

HI THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!!!!!

7. what's something the fandom does with this character that you like?

i like when ppl give him an actual human-looking skin tone. also i ADORE when people give his younger self black/darker hair (in canon his hair has always been that shade of blue). Delicious

8. what's something the fandom does with this character that you despise?

speaking of blue so many people draw him w blue eyes and i just. there is so much blue on his color palette already. those thangs are BROWN!!!! ok there are definitely much worse things to be said about what the fandom does with rick but a. the tumblr fandom is relatively decent about characterization and shit and also b. i'm too tired to launch into a rant about it rjejdjej

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

oh i have so many... i was gonna say that i hc him as autistic but that's canon lmfao. he is transmasc to me ❤️ i've talked about this before and it's the furthest thing from surprising but it's my favorite thing ever. i see people draw him with top scars and a part of me just goes !!!!!!!!!!!!

#more people should send me asks about rick btw #i have much to say abt him but i never feel like writing original posts #asks #ask game #ferret rambles #rnm #rick sanchez

[lettucedloophole]

spoilers for the latest dungeon meshi ep but oh my GODDD i love marcille my pobrecita.. i think ryoko kui wrote sexism's effects on marcille really well, i think it's neat how she's a silly little guy and other people kind of underestimate her and it seems she is often down on herself about her failures or, "burdening" others in a way that feels very authentic to how it feels to be a woman and have that extra pressure of perfection to dispell suspicions of your inferiority. it's just very much the feeling i gather from it which makes marcille so relatable. and then to put another layer on it when it came out that she did black magic, she's literally A Bad Ass she is LITERALLY a Badass which makes her doubt of herself even more starkly inappropriate, and in this new episode despite the Fact that she is A Bad Ass when everyone's being a BIG MEANIE to her she's like a sad puppy when people don't let her help with revivals and like idk if i missed something but she doesn't even push back against them saying they're going to turn her in in like, a threatening way, she is just... scared. which hurt me i just wanted everyone stop being so MEAN TO HERRR my POBRECITAAAA. MY TINY LITTLE BABYY

i also laughed a lot and freaked out catching up on the two latest episodes today. DEVASTATING miscalculation on chilchuck's part to protect senshi when laois has No sense of Social cue. really happy to see laois and kabru meet, they're really funny together and i see why people like them so much as a ship now!! i am ECSTATIC that shuro is out of the game in terms of ehem. courting falin. bro COULDN'T HACK IT gEDDEM marcille. get that red dragon lady.. and omg it made me SOOOO MAD that they tried to blame marcille for that like how could that even b her fault!!! >:((( its obv the mad mage's doing. i dont get it they r just big meanies!!! stop shitting on my girl!!!

i like how kabru is like laios if he had more social awareness and was a litle Conniving... and omfg i thought it was so funny and sweet how shuro and laios just fucking beat each other up 😭 shuro said i hate autistic ppl fr. no but im glad he showed up for laios & co. in the end.. sometimes you just gotta talk ur feelings out over a fistfight lol

it was soo so fun seeing everyone interact .. all these fun characters... i cant wait to see what happens next!!! i love this show literally one of my fav animes EVER now definitely its so good its SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!! im terrified not knowing when its gonna end and how im gonna cope when the season ends 🗿 methinks i will have to read the manga instantly after or i will go insane from dungeon meshi withdrawal..

#dungeon meshi spoilers #this is totally just me rambling this show makes me so happyyyy #i usually hate rewatching stuff but idk if i just want to take everything or what #but i had a process of watching it like. rewatch old ep then watch new ep #and i also rewatched it all around ep 13 or something #but i think im going to rewatch it again just because I love ... so much.. #is so good... need dunmeshi .. #i also need to develop my senshi tulpa more so my life is less disastrous #at least in terms of food and sleep #i slept until 7pm and then ate 3meals in a row so -_- need that senshi tulpa #lol the way laios did the im stronger than u thing but listed his food and sleep sched. as the reason 😭😭😭😭 beautiful . so beautiful #it makes me SAD that they tried to kill falin but realistically what else could they do.. i just dont want laios think monsters r all bad #or the rest of the crew. anymore... #may b theyre just friends and its the mad mages fault :(( #and then kabru was like u have to kill orcs and im like NOOOOOOOOOo dont DO THAT #i was so SHOCOKED. SHOCKEKD when so many ppl were wiped out by falin. literally crazy sauce. broooo #i wuv dungeomeshi so much...... #also i just have to say that shuro n laios fight? p gay...ngl #laios n falin r so similar its just falin is um. well better at masking #the Autism Twins (insert flame font( #its like i think shuro's feelings r genuine n not shallow for falin but i also dont think he knows her as well as he thinks. #i mean apparently he is Poor at connecting with others #love those guys. silly guys. the lot of em #chilchuck's being mad at marcile for black magic is a lot less annoying 2 me now that i know. other ppls react WAYYY worse #wuv em

[1863-project]

so for your poll abt abelism in fandom communities - i voted yes + reblogged but i will say i dont 1000% know im doing this right.

but for my experiences its been a lot of stigmatising of cluster b personality disorders. i have BPD which is already incredibly misunderstood/stigmatised but especially in fandom spaces where its "i headcanon x character w bpd" and immediately met with "no u cant bc ppl w bpd r evil and functionally not even ppl!!! all they do is hurt ppl they care about fuck them fuck ppl w bpd!!!" which

is incredibly harmful, as you'd imagine.

as well, i have autism and suspected schizophrenia and OCD (autism diagnosed, i am working on getting evaluated for schizophrenia and/or OCD) and fandom spaces can be incredibly rude to people with autism. whether it is schizophrenia related or not, i deal with extreme bouts of paranoia. fandom spaces also have a tendency to play into this - ie "joking" threats to be in my walls to hunt me down to kill me because i have a different fandom opinion.

its. alot. and i avoid most fandom spaces because of it.

Anon, I'm so sorry this has been your experience, because it absolutely should not be. This is the entire point of doing the poll and using the data to work on an essay - this behavior needs to be addressed and acknowledged as harmful.

I'm autistic with OCD myself, and this website is definitely bad to people with OCD. The misunderstanding of intrusive thoughts and how so many people become purity police and assume those intrusive thoughts actually mean you want to do something instead of understanding that they cause OCD folks extreme distress and anxiety is really, really harmful. And don't get me started on autism - I've been out in the real world doing self-advocacy for over a decade now, and the way a lot of people in fandom spaces treat autism is abysmal - there's even a lot of internalized ableism on that front, i.e. "I can't be ableist because I'm also disabled!" We all have internalized ableism to work through because of the world we live in.

Cluster B personality disorders and psychotic disorders get it the worst, though, with people treating those with them as "inhuman" and "evil" more often than not. No one is inherently more "evil" than anyone else. A personality disorder doesn't necessarily indicate that a person is bad. A psychotic disorder doesn't, either. BPD in particular actually makes a person very vulnerable to being abused due to the nature of how it works, but people love ignoring that part.

RE: people using your paranoia to send hateful anons, be really careful about what you share about yourself online. If you give too much information about what specifically can be used to hurt you, some people will absolutely do it. I know I may sound like an overly cautious adult to many of you (I'm 34), but when I was a teenager, we didn't put any personal information online in order to keep ourselves safe. If you aren't talking to people you really trust, don't necessarily share that information, because people are often cruel when they feel they can be so without any repercussions. Don't put all your triggers in your Carrd, don't make massive DNIs with all of the things that can hurt you in them - just use the block button and protect yourselves. Not everyone is acting in bad faith, and indeed, most humans aren't, but there are always some who will, and if they know how to hurt you or get back at you, they won't hesitate to hit where it hurts.

I'm sorry you have to remove yourself from fandom spaces just to feel safe, anon. It really isn't fair and you should be allowed to have a safe experience too.

#replies #ableism #tw: ableism