#ford faggot

[maythray]

realized i can draw anything and im thinking i want to draw oflo and reigen in a big fucking truck

#the ford faggots

[magicdyke]

having such a specific problem w the wayback machine. every time i try to load the snapshot of cisgenderguy it has from may 2022 it like. just immediately reloads to the blog of the person that created my theme. i dont know how to get around this

#can anyone help me.. #still searching for ford faggot

[sweatermuppet]

wearing a Ford shirt & a Chevy belt buckle to let everyone know im a faggot

[bakersfield-row]

[ID: shijima tsukishima, the protagonist from the manga shimeji simulation, stands in front of her school and looks up blankly. a thought bubble positioned to her right depicts her thinking of a rotating fish. "freaks" by surf curse plays while the fish spins. during the start of the song's chorus, the text "dont cry; I am just a FISH" appears in front of the fish.]

(ship-of-theseus-type intro post under the cut)

good afternoon (probably)

call me mju or mjus; pronounce it however you like. i write, i do photography, i watch films every now and then, im trying to get into more games, and i use linux mint. i will blow up your ford f150.

im tired. she/her. transgender. sexuality is a fuck (sapphic panromantic gray asexual (i think (ask for clarification if needed))).

secret drawing box!

things i like:

games: undertale, deltarune, a short hike, oneshot, in stars and time, night in the woods

movies: everything everywhere all at once, it’s such a beautiful day, the royal tenebaums, princess mononoke, whiplash

albums: loveless, kid a, in rainbows, the acrobats, pink moon, i can hear the heart beating as one, yankee hotel foxtrot

written works: the book thief, sputnik sweetheart, kafka on the shore, shimeji simulation

proud mother of three blahajar

you can stay here for a while and check out some things. leave an ask; they're always fun. please ask if you need anything tagged (credit for image, CW, TW, alt text)

quite frankly, if you hate queer people on tumblr, why are you even here?

dni: homophobes, transphobes, TERFs, queerphobes, transmeds, racists, ableists, misogynists, pedophiles, antisemitists, zionists, evangelicals, conservatives, fascists. just be decent.

if you know me irl, go. shoo. i'm not mad at you, just never bring this up or tell anyone about this blog, please.

be good people and stay safe.

(This blog is not affiliated with nor ran by a resident of the cities of Bakersfield, California; Bakersfield, Maryland; Bakersfield, Missouri; Bakersfield, Texas; and/or Bakersfield, Vermont)

previous blog names (not comprehensive):

“that fucking faggot!”

you are, but you’re bisexual

please watch it’s such a beautiful day by don hertzfeldt

my little corner of the world

empty all your pockets, cuz it’s time to come home

don’t, cry, i am just a FISH

proud casio calculator watch owner

buenos días amigos, tengan un YURIFUL día ❤️

buenos días amigos, tengan un día YURIFUL ❤️

sebian lex coll aps bare astards ❤️❤️

but of course i’d like to sit around and chat

crimes? crimes. (current)

writing blog | bluesky | cohost | letterboxd | spotify

#hall of fame

[crimsonflowerz]

on the highway driving like a looney because i’m in the fast lane watching family guy funniest moments and a ford f150 i cut off rolls down his window and screams “FAGGOT!” at me so loud i can hear it and it triggers a residual deep sissy hypnosis video behavioral chain where i she-goon out at the wheel yanking my left curved dick to the right and causing us both to crash into the guardrail causing a multi car pileup at rush hour where several cars fall off the bridge and are crushed when they collide with the river below

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#315

“Well, well, well.  I didn’t think you would have the balls to show up.  And here you are; Jacob Voyles is coming to me for a favor.  I knew something like this might happen when I saw your boy trying out for the football team, but I didn’t think you were this desperate to get your boy into college on a football scholarship.  Especially how you and I left it twenty-six years ago.  You know what I am talking about, I can see the remorseful cautious look on your face.  Do you remember it all?  I do.

“I remember you calling me faggot throughout my sophomore year because once I saw you jacking off in the shower.  Then, on your last day before graduating, you came to me and asked me to stay late in the locker room because you wanted me to give you head.  Foolishly I met you.  Worst day.  You and Ron Kushman, Fred Ford, and Lance Williamson all pounced on me beating me up.  And as you were walking away you decided to turn and haul out your dick.  And you said, ‘Here, you can swallow on this.’  I can still taste the mixture of your piss and my blood.  That has never left me. 

“After a few years of torturing myself, and even trying to kill myself a few times, I found the right man who steered me in the right direction.  He mentored me to focus my attention into working out to bulk up and becoming a high school coach.  It took me years to undo all the shit you did to me.

“So when I got that call from you this week, it all came back to me.  I was going to tell you to fuck off.  I should have just ignored you.  But I have to admit, I am curious to what you are thinking.  But unlike that one day in high school, I am prepared for you.  As you can see, I am not the scrawny boy you left on the locker room floor covered in your piss and my blood.

“So, why did you come here?  What are you offering?

“…A blowjob?  You want me to give you a blowjob?  Are you fucking serious?  I may have wanted to gob that knob in high school, but there is no way I would ever give you the satisfaction of one of my trademark blowjobs….  Oh yeah, I am a—what was the word you used?—faggot.  Through, these twenty-six years my tastes have changed.  So, you are come up with a better suggestion than me blowing you.

“Heh heh.  I can see by the panic in your face, that you are imagining some of the other things fags do, and it disgusts you.  You resigned yourself to receiving a blowjob from a fag.  But now it’s more involved.  And you are debating if you can go through with this.  I mean, are you willing to sacrifice doing something you find disgusting just for your son to get into a good university?  Especially when he couldn’t get into one on his own merit.  Let’s be honest here.  He couldn’t count his balls twice and get to the same number.

“So what are you going to do?...  Standing there saying nothing is not helping anyone….  OK.  Why don’t you strip naked?  You know eventually you are going to be naked, you might as well start now; remove everything, staring with that polo shirt….  The nearest neighbor is less than half a mile away….  There you go. 

“I see you kept somewhat a decent body since you left the University of Illinois.  Yeah, that injury fucked up your football scholarship….  I’ve been following you on and off, all this time.  You never really had a career in football, now did you?  I imagine your daddy getting you in just like you are trying to get your son.

“Take off the briefs; let’s see your junk.  Yup, exactly as I remember it, quite large.  So have you thought of anything for you to do for me?...  No? Didn’t think so.  Well one thing that will happen before you leave is you’re going to drink my piss.  It seems only fair.

“Stop! Stop! Stop!  Look.  You came here with an objective.  If you aren’t committed to that objective, then go home and live the rest of your life with you and your son as losers.  Now get your ass up to the porch and get on your knees.  You showed me yours, now I will show you mine.  Yours may be large, but mine is fucking huge.

“I got a bladder full.  Normally you would have my cockhead in your mouth, but there is no way in hell I am putting my dick in your mouth, not without knocking out some teeth first—like how your goons did to me on that day in high school.

“It’s going to taste nasty.  The faster you drink it, the faster you will be done.  Let’s do this.  Fuck yeah.  Let your mouth fill up.  I’ll tell you when to swallow.  This is such a beautiful sight…. Swallow.  Fuck yeah.  You fucking pig.  You were made for this.  Swallow.  Oops.  Some got in your eyes.  I would say that I was sorry, but I’m not….  OK now hold still, I need to shake the last drops off.

“OK bitch.  I wouldn’t say we are even, not even close.  I mean when you did it to me, I was beaten up by your goons into a bloody mess.  Now I have no desire of beating you to a pulp even though I brought my own backup.  These are five of my friends standing behind you.  They are here to hold you down spread eagle on the ground, just like I was held down.  And unlike back then, these are all gay men.

“This is my friend Jerry.  We are actually at his place.  Jerry is a sick bastard.  He’s the one that took the video of you walking up to my dick, kneeling, and drinking my piss.  Yeah keep that in mind that we have that.  But he also has this piece of furniture.  It’s called a rimseat.  Now, I don’t know if you know what one is, and really, I don’t care.  What makes this one so special is that he modified it so that your head is immobile.  Your head slides in like this.  Jacob, you can stop fighting; the guys are going to keep your arms and legs down and in place.  Also, these padded dowels come out to push into your cheeks causing your jaws to part, so you can’t close them. 

“Now I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s a toilet seat mounted to the top.  Yes, I’m going to be sitting on it.  Your face will be going in my crack.  You look of terror looks so fucking hot.

“Ok, get that tongue ready.  If not, I don’t care.  Oh man.  I can feel your hot breath on my shithole.  Here let me blow you a kiss or two…. Man, that smells nasty.  Now open your mouth real wide.  I have something I have been wanting to give you for all these years. 

“I can tell you’re not opening your mouth.  I have ways of doing that.  You probably saw the cigar.  It’s currently in my hand.  Also, your cock and balls are only inches away.  So let’s see how your foreskin takes to a red hot cigar. 

“Scream for me motherfucker!  Scream!  Like that.  And here’s your reward.  Fuck yeah.  Eat, you goddamned toilet!  Eat!  Oh I got to see this.

“Hey Shiteater!  Look up at me.  Damn!  That is one large pile.  Start eating.  I’m going to head back home.  I’m done with you.  I can’t stand looking at you anymore.  Jerry here will be taking over.  He’s going to make sure you eat every bite.  Don’t even try to push it back out.  It will only get jammed back down.

“Man, my ass is a mess.  No toilet paper.  Jerry, hand me his polo shirt.  It will be a good substitute.  After you get him to eat, you can fuck his ass or his sewer mouth.  There’s no way in hell that I would ever stick my dick in him, but you can do what you want.  He’s probably cherry.  I don’t care.  But he’s to leave here without any noticeable marks, no physical traces of what he endured, only mental scars.  Hose him down.  Wash his clothes.

“Shithead!  I’m out of here.  I want to thank you.  Thank you for letting me get closure here.  It means a lot.  But we are done.  I never want to see you again.  I don’t care what happens to your son.  I don’t directly coach him.  I have no desire to ever help him to be a better player let alone get into a university.  I leave you wallowing in your shame, humiliation, degradation, and a pile of shit. 

“I should take a picture of this….  Are you crying?  Good.”

[generalgrievousposting]

obviously no hate to anyone who does but i will NEVER simp for this man

I have lived in a town with the densest military population in America for 6 years now, have been visiting for over 15. And imma tell you there's men like him EVERYWHERE here. I know this bitch cause he's the dude with the damn punisher sticker on his 7 foot tall ford as he screams faggot from the window, this man is a MENACE and his death is CANONICAL

#cod mw2 #phillip graves

[smegmafactory4prez]

Sharks I need like idk 10 000 dollars American or Canadian or Australian even for drugs, cigarettes, melanin injections and I need to buy some non-poor people furniture (I have a mental condition where I can't live in a house that looks poor). Should I get some light botox and a bbl also? I also want to buy a few original TOM ford perfumes and they are really expensive like more expensive than Gucci but like good for him fuck those dirty ass Italian faggots at the house of Goochie your clothes look like shit ever since TF left your company. I kind of want a penis pump I just want to see what would happen if I made my penis fat as fuck 😂😂😂😂😂

[zoethebitch]

what HAPPENED to all those posts that went like it's the all new Ford Faggot it's the all new Dodge Dyke it the all new Toyota Tranny

[slutdge]

i love it when the blues and country bands i listen to have some variation of this comment under them like hell yeah brother its faggot blues, im listening to it in my ford as we speak

#sorry but ''thats faggot music'' just makes me wanna listen to it more #like PROMISE????? #anyways. the metnal illness is already kicking my ass and its not even noon yet so todays gonna be fun im sure #my posts

[gerhardtz]

📌 WELCOME!

I'm Josh (He/Him/His). I'm an artist & fanfiction writer from Cornwall. Currently hyperfixated on FX Fargo Season 2 & Doctor Who.

MOST RECENT FIC UPDATE:

One Hour Ahead Of The Possee - Chapter 4: 1973 Ford F-150 (5.2K words)

As his senses returned to him, so did his fear. He looked around. The room was small and empty of people, but the muffled chatter of a radio coming from an open door not too far away led him to believe he wasn’t alone.

I often post about:

My OCs; Operation Amarillo, Efica, and FLY HIGH

FX Fargo (2014—)

Classic cars

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Doctor Who (2005—)

Half Life / HLVRAI

Warrior Cats

BBC Line of Duty (2012-2021)

Lie To Me (2009-2011)

Pikmin

Feel free to send me any asks/messages, or reblog my posts with comments. I love talking to the people in my computer.

DISCLAIMER: I reclaim and identify with the words faggot and queer. If this makes you uncomfortable, my blog is probably not for you!

You can follow me on my art blog @wenmistry for fanart and OCs.

FANFIC MASTERLIST

All of my Fargo fics in one place, with warnings and links to AO3. Characters listed on masterpost truncated for brevity. When I start writing for other fandoms, I'll make my masterlist a separate post.

Multi-Chapter:

One Hour Ahead of the Possee | 4/? | 9,375 words

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: Gen Characters: Rye Gerhardt, Mike Milligan, Floyd Gerhardt, Simone Gerhardt, Peggy Blumquist, Gale Kitchen.

Rye is injured and on the run. His conversation with Judge Mundt couldn't have gone any worse... and in his inebriated state, he decided to flee the scene on foot – leaving his car behind. It's not a question of *if* he's found out, but when.

Drop It, Doe Eyes | 1/? | 2,402 words

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Category: M/M Relationships: Rye Gerhardt/Original Male Character(s) Characters: Original Male Character(s), Rye Gerhardt

Jethro Sprang was always drawn to the Gerhardts, ever since he was saved from a bully by their youngest when he was ten. He didn't expect that, fourteen years later, he'd be saved by that boy yet again. This time, from the Gerhardts themselves, as he found himself in a dark alleyway, drenched in someone else's blood.

Lifespring | 1/? | 1,115 words - ON HIATUS

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: F/F Relationships: Peggy Blumquist/Constance Heck Characters: Peggy Blumquist, Constance Heck

Waiting in the ER after an accident on ice patch junction, Peggy strikes up conversation with a mysterious drifter, who seems to be dead set on changing her life... for better or for worse.

Oneshots:

Dead Boys | 3,167 words

Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Characters: Simone Gerhardt, Rye Gerhardt, Dodd Gerhardt, Floyd Gerhardt, Otto Gerhardt, Hanzee Dent

On the anniversary of Elron’s death, the Gerhardts hold a family dinner in his honour. It doesn’t quite go to plan, as conflicting opinions on war, the world, and who should be sat at that table, lead to a heated argument.

A Promise Made In Blood | 1,757 words

Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: Gen Characters: Original Male Character(s), Ollie Stein, Virgil Bauer

In the harsh Winter of 1973, an important deal goes horribly wrong. Someone has to pay the price, but Dodd's way of delivering it rubs Blake the wrong way. It's no real promise at all, if it's made in blood, but he knew the Gerhardts would disagree.

Managing Up | 1,324 words

Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Relationships: Bear Gerhardt/Ricky G Characters: Ricky G, Bear Gerhardt

Fending off Kansas City comes first, emotions come later – that's Bear's plan. But all Ricky wants is for Bear to talk to him.

Head In A Bag | 1,330 words

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: Gen Characters: Mike Milligan, Hanzee Dent, Gale Kitchen

Hanzee pays Mike a visit at the Pearl Hotel and delivers an ominous message.

and all the ships at sea... | 715 words

Rating: General Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: F/M Relationships: Betsy Solverson/Lou Solverson Characters: Lou Solverson, Betsy Solverson (Mentioned), Molly Solverson, Karl Weathers, Sonny Greer

After years of fighting, Betsy eventually succumbs to cancer. Now, Lou is left to pick up the pieces and figure out where to go next.

To Places Man Can Never Dream | 1,175 words

Rating: Teen Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Gen Characters: Hanzee Dent, Rye Gerhardt (Mentioned)

Hanzee parked his car at 7:07. He drove off at 9:10. He’d been there twenty minutes at most.

#pinned post #fic masterlist #masterlist #fanfiction #fargo fanfic #fargo fx

[maythray]

the ford faggot

[marcelwrites]

Excerpt From ‘Cancel Me Or Die’

(This is an excerpt from a novella I’m writing, ‘Cancel Me Or Die’. A collection of loosely related chapters exploring lust, sexuality, violence, and politics. It won’t be for everyone. I think the title is cool but I also hate it. Is that not the duality of man? It’ll be published later this year. The whole “cancellation” thing makes me shudder with how fucking embarrassing it is but it’s also this pervasive concept in the West now and I like how it’s something everyone’s aware of; if you’re on the internet then you’re aware of the concept. Transgression is important. Challenge yourself. Like the first time I read the works of Jonathan Ames, I was challenged by how boldly he laid the world of crossdressing and ambiguous sexuality at the reader’s feet. I believe in the pushing of boundaries because it’s vital that we’re scared by art, challenged by it, affected by it.)

In the absolute dark before the dawn peeks through the cracks and tears in the night sky I’d met up with Lina. Her pale pink hair a light muddle until being briefly lit by the street lamps we were walking under. The plan was to light some fires and cause some chaos. A legion of old, decaying boaters had decided to pollute the waterways with their noxious floating palaces. In the mood for unprotected sex and anarchy we went to each local petrol station and filled up several jerry cans worth of fuel, $250 AUD worth to be exact. We debated grabbing some food from Hungry Jacks but rather than indulge in disgusting deep-fried carbs we parked our car near a playground, opposite some closed shops, and had sex until we felt exhausted and loosened by the exchange. We weren’t exactly in a relationship but we were exclusive with one another. I think it’s one of those situations where you joke about getting married and you end up getting married to commit to the joke but also because you understand one another’s inherent darkness and miseries. Lina and I met while lining up for tickets to see a Horror movie at the cinema. She had absolutely no friends whatsoever and her last boyfriend beat the living shit out of her, shattering two of her teeth. She has a scar running from the edge left of her top lip that extends to her philtrum, where that boyfriend split her lip with a punch. Occasionally I kiss the scar as I’m drawn to it. It catches my attention when she rides me and I see little beads of perspiration forming around it. A few months ago we drove to her ex-boyfriend’s house and I slashed the tires on his shitbox of a Ford. I was tempted to break into his house and kill him in cold blood, or at the very least, throttle him half to death and take him to the hospital myself, but after slashing his tires Lina said she really wanted to suck my cock, and so she went down on me and when I finished she spat the cum on the door handle of the driver’s side door. “I love where your head’s at.” I said to her. “Me too.” Lina replied and then laughed. I think we’re in love but we’re broken so we just don’t say those words to one another. With the jerry cans in tow we would make our way down to the peer, make sure no one was sleeping in the boats, douse them in petrol, and then light them on fire. I think people are at their most beautiful when dimly lit by the moon and the street lamps. The thin light softens our features and renders us more human. As we walked I would occasionally turn to Lina and she’d turn to me and we’d smile at one another. It would sicken me to my core and make me feel like a faggot. I told her of this and she said, “I don’t like that word but I understand what you mean and so fucking what anyway.” Previously we’d spoken about how we planned to not get caught, so we got a mutual friend to order balaclavas for us. Neither of us had any history with the police so we wouldn’t immediately be suspected. The possibility of jail and legal action was real but that added to the thrill of it all. A few rich guys lose their manhood extensions? Big fucking deal.

#marcelwrites #writing #words #novel #fiction

[magicdyke]

im so serious if anyone manages to find my ford faggot post ill paypal u $5 im not fucking around

#i miss it so bad Why did i delete it. #then delete my blog.

[bitual]

2 faggots 1 ford

[slowlyhardgoatee]

Well, well, well, what have we here?

You’re the kid who works at that auto repair shop in town, aren’t you? Thought I recognised you. I was in there about a month ago, I brought in a clapped out old Ford that needed new suspension - I’ve probably fucked one too many boys in the back of it - and when I offered to allow you to suck my cock in lieu of payment, you gave me a dirty look and said you weren’t ‘that kind of boy’. And yet here you are, naked on your knees in a leather bar toilet cubicle, with a sign pasted to the door saying ‘Public cum dump - no loads refused’.

Well, you’re gonna be taking my cock in both holes tonight, boy. For a start. Get that fat dick down the back of your fucking throat. That’s it. Fucking choke on it, cunt.

Look up at me while you’re sucking it, boy. Yeah, not so cocky now, with my dick in your fucking mouth, are you? You’re nothing but a cunt. And you know what happens to cunts, boy? They get fucked.

Turn around and spread your cheeks for me.

Oh yeah, just like that. You ready for me to add my load to that sloppy whore hole, boy? Here it comes, cunt. Balls deep.

Fuck! FUCK! Oh this won’t take long at all. That’s it, you whore, take it up that faggot cunt. Oh… yeah. Fuck, I haven’t blown a load like that in weeks.

Alright, give me your wallet. You heard. Hmm, about fifty quid and a contactless credit card. This’ll do.

I’m gonna go and drink the bar dry on your money. I’ll be back through every so often to watch you getting that hole bred, and at the end of the night, you’re coming home with me as my personal rape slave for the weekend. And believe me, boy, when I’ve got a hangover I’m the meanest, horniest bastard around, and there’s nothing I like better than a good hard fuck. See you at closing time, you slut.