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the-spinning-jenny · 3 years

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we're going to be alright

a @geraskierholidayexchange fic for @ electricrituals

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Current theories on the all-around assery of circumstances surrounding Jaskier’s predicament vary and change depending on who asks.

If one were to ask Yennefer of Vengerberg, she’d say that Jaskier is an idiot and sticks himself in shit he should not be poking into. That he’s an annoying bard who doesn’t shut up when he’s supposed to and she’s certainly not going to save his ass anytime soon and he may as well learn a lesson or two from this.

She is correct for Jaskier’s general going about in life, but in this certain case, her theory is wrong.

If one were to ask Ciri, she’d say that Jaskier means well, but, in the most Ciri-esque and polite-one-grew-up-amongst-nobletry way, she would also add that Jaskier may just have bad luck.

Ciri’s theory is also wrong. Jaskier has impeccable luck, thank you very much.

If one were to ask Geralt, one might get a grunt out of him and possibly, if one were feeling rather lucky that day, a syllable. Probably one syllable to convey that Jaskier is the worst friend in the whole wide world and he cannot stand being out of the spotlight so of course he would jump into this hot mess of a Nilfgaard kidnapping, and likely all this is encapsulated by a simple fuck as a response and please, Geralt, think of Ciri and watch that tone.

Geralt’s theory is wrong too.

The whole business is poppy-cock and wow, Jaskier is truly the master of concealing his inner workings of his great and brilliant mind. This leads to two explanations:

Firstly, like Melitele, Jaskier moves in mysterious ways and he calculates many scenarios and chooses the best one that would lead to the best results.

Secondly, Jasker’s terribly in love with Geralt and will throw out all logic out the window in any efforts to help Geralt.

Jaskier predicts as much of the following for how this night will turn out: he’s going to avoid unnecessary risks, he’s going to outsmart many bad guys, he will look absolutely dashing saving everyone, and no one will find out about his pesky unrequited love issue ever because if he’s buried it and bottled it up for twenty years, he can do it for another twenty then.

His predictions are correct on every bit except for the unrequited love part.

---

It was not a difficult and perilous night. It likely should have been, but that’s Destiny for you. For every dozen of terror-defying and dangerous missions Geralt throws himself into, there’s one easy-breezy adventure for Jaskier. Just because the night is mild does not mean there are no villainous forces at play and people out to kill Jaskier’s friends. It just means Jaskier’s more clever.

“Well,” Jaskier says, “aren’t you going to get out?” This dungeon is dreadfully drab and Jaskier’s feeling cold and slightly peckish.

“Bard?! How are you here?” hisses Yennefer in her Dimeritum shackles. Ciri blinks blearily next to her in the locked dungeon cell. Geralt looks constipated, but Jaskier isn’t sure if that’s another one of Geralt’s signature looks or because of the shackles he’s in as well.

Jaskier rolls his eyes on the other side of the cell. “Yes, Yennefer, lovely to see you in this Nilfgaardian nobleman’s castle. Would love to catch up since Geralt’s mountain tantrum, it’s been what? A year? Two years? Time flies when you’re all clearly having fun, doesn’t it? Look, you’ve even leveled up and gotten what I can only assume is your child surprise. Lovely to meet you, my dear, lovely weather isn’t it tonight?”

“Are you Jaskier the bard? Geralt’s bard? Are you going to free us?” inquires Ciri with eyes full of hope.

“The cell’s locked and our chains are enchanted,” Geralt frowns.

“Boring,” Jaskier says, and he picks the locks open while chattering away. “You’re very lucky I passed by and heard wind of your imprisonment at the tavern I was in. Even more lucky that there’s a party going on upstairs to sneak from and I’ve drugged the guards’ wine.”

Jaskier takes a bow and the cell doors swing open. He swings the keys to everybody’s shackles around his finger and Geralt looks gobsmacked.

“Now,” Jaskier says, “shall we? I’ve got enchanted glamour rings for everyone and we’ll just walk through the front door.”

---

Everybody’s sitting around a table in an inn far, far away from the Nilfgaardian castle and they’re all looking a bit dazed. Jaskier’s ordered everybody food but he realizes they all may be still processing everything.

“We’ve escaped,” Yennefer finally says. She picks at the inn’s food a bit.

“I mean, we’re rather far from Nilfgaard forces and you’ve portalled us to an inn in gods know where so yes, I assume you’re all freed,” Jaskier replies matter of factly.

“You saved us!” Ciri says with adorable eyes and great gratitude.

“Well, I suppose I did, didn’t I?” Jaskier says happily. “Not so bad for a bard, eh?” Jaskier turns to look at Geralt who still hasn’t done much besides stare at Jaskier.

Jaskier sighs. “Everybody should eat up. You could use it given where you’ve all been. I’ll go see about getting us some rooms for the night. Not to worry, I’ll be gone in the morning.”

“You’re leaving so soon?” Ciri frowns.

“Ah,” Jaskier begins. “I wouldn’t want to intrude anymore than I already have and well, me leaving as soon as possible would be to everyone’s liking.”

Ciri looks sad, Yennefer raises an eyebrow, and Geralt begins to open his mouth, but Jaskier is quicker and leaves the table and heads to find the innkeeper.

There is a trick to avoiding more heartbreak that Jaskier has learned. If he isn’t here long enough, then there isn’t enough time for Geralt to say that was highly dangerous and stupid or don’t follow us, bard.

“How many rooms will you be needing, sir?” the innkeeper asks Jaskier. She does look lovely and if the way she’s giving the rather flirtatious grin is any indicator, Jaskier may have a good time tonight after all this heroic saving he’s done. Perhaps it would dull his heartache. It hasn’t worked before, but if Jaskier knows one thing, it’s that if he tries ignoring the same thing multiple times, it might end up working.

“Thr--”

“Two rooms,” Geralt in all his glamoured up appearance and deathly glare at the innkeeper. The man pops up next to Jaskier rather suddenly and puts an arm around Jaskier. “One for our daughter and her aunt, and another room for me and my husband. We’ll be needing a bath drawn for our room as well.”

The innkeeper looks sheepish and scatters fast to get the rooms in order and Jaskier is bewildered.

He’s so bewildered, it doesn’t dawn on him to have a row with Geralt’s wildly odd behavior until he’s in their room and Ciri pops in while Geralt is settling down his swords and armor.

“Are you alright?” Ciri says Jaskier concerningly and adorably.

Jaskier sighs. “You know how adults love to lie and tell you that everything’s going to be alright even though it’s not?”

Ciri worryingly replies, “Yes?”

“Everything’s going to be alright,” Jaskier says. He turns to Geralt, walks up to him, and points a finger at his chest. “Now, you! Who do you think you are?”

Ciri quietly slinks out of the room and closes the door behind her.

Geralt, a man of many facial expressions, frowns again but Jaskier does not care.

“Husband? Really, now? What have you to say about that? We’ve gone from ‘it would be a blessing to get rid of me’ to fake husbands? You couldn’t bother with being fake lovers first? Where’s my fake wedding, Geralt? Hmmm?” Jaskier pointedly says. To further emphasize his rage, Jaskier still pokes his finger harder at Geralt’s chest even though he knows it won’t do anything.

Geralt catches Jaskier’s hand and holds it with both of his own. Jaskier huffs and looks away.

“Thank you for saving us,” Geralt says at last.

Jaskier stills. “Well, the way I see it, no one has to get tortured and die.�� He gives Geralt a grin.

“You could’ve died,” Geralt continues.

Jaskier looks back at Geralt and quips, “Would’ve been the dream for you, eh? Very sorry, friend, but screw dying.”

Geralt shakes his head. “Jaskier,” he says and rubs a thumb in circles on Jaskier’s hand. “You sneaked into a Nilfgaardian castle, drugged the guards asleep, pick-locked the cells, and freed me, Yennefer, and Ciri. That was brave, bard. Thank you.”

Jaskier’s heart beats rather annoyingly loud and his cheeks burn.

“Careful, now. That’s more words that you used to say to me in a month. I couldn’t let Destiny’s favorite power couple and their child bite the dust this soon now, could I? It would make a very unhappy song,” Jaskier sighs and breaks free of Geralt’s grasp on his hand.

“I’ll be gone in the morning. Frankly, I have no idea why you wouldn’t just let me order three rooms back there with the innkeeper. It’s fine, Geralt. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough,” Jaskier rambles.

“Stay,” Geralt says.

Jaskier’s eyes widen. “What?!”

Geralt steps forward into Jaskier’s space and tries again. “Jaskier,” Geralt says, “For the mountain, I am sorry. You didn’t deserve it. You deserve better. Stay with me. I’ll swear on it to treat you better.”

Jaskier tears up. “Geralt, I - well, it’s alright.” He looks down and continues, “You’re forgiven, you know. You’ve been forgiven a long time ago. Don’t have me stay out of guilt.”

Geralt shakes his head. “No, it’s not. Jaskier, I have missed you.”

Jaskier looks up with watery eyes. “Alright,” he whispers.

Geralt smiles a little and says, “Yennefer and I aren’t together.”

Jaskier laughs. “No?” he asks.

Geralt says, “I didn’t pretend to be her husband in front of the innkeeper.” He puts a hand up and holds Jaskier’s face in it. Jaskier leans into it, heart rapidly beating more so.

Geralt continues, “Jaskier, I have truly missed you. Stay and I can show you how much.” He leans in closer, pauses, and asks, “Alright?”

Jaskier gently says, “Alright.”

Geralt closes the gap between them and kisses Jaskier.

Jaskier kisses back and thinks that they can certainly manage with this kind of alright.

---

Notes: Heavily influenced by the Good Omens writing. Fic title is from the Ariana Grande song. I own nothing. This is a gift for electricrituals who likes fake dating au and competent!Jaskier. Albeit, I went mainly heavy on the competent!Jaskier, but I hope you like it! Happy holidays!

#geraskierholidayexchange #electricrituals #geraskier

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geraskierholidayexchange · 4 years

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Sign-ups for the Geraskier Holiday Exchange are officially open!

Fill out the form here: https://forms.gle/T1rN18izsDFYJ22C9

If you have any questions or encounter problems accessing the form, please contact us!

Sign-up period running from Oct. 5 thru Oct. 25 !

#the witcher #geraskier #gerlion #geralt x jaskier #geralt x dandelion #geraskierholidayexchange #!modpost

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stonedgeralt · 3 years

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snowflakes falling on the hearth fire

geraskier — 3.9k — teen+ — written for @demisexualgeralt for the @geraskierholidayexchange

When Jaskier finally pulls into his spot in front of their apartment, he’s surprised to see that the lights are still on inside. The clock on the dash tells him that it’s a quarter past eleven. Geralt is usually in bed by now. He’d probably passed out on the couch again - he had a long shift today, too.

With a weary sigh, Jaskier trudges from his car to the front door. He wants nothing more than to collapse in his bed, preferably with Geralt tucked against his chest, and sleep for at least twelve hours. As he climbs the porch steps, he imagines Geralt’s sleepy smile when he realizes that Jaskier is home, the warm hug and the sweet, soft kiss he’ll get before he’s even taken his shoes off. The thought quickens Jaskier’s pulse, and his heart beats rapidly against his sternum.

He still can’t believe it: Two months ago, kissing Geralt had been nothing but a self-indulgent daydream. Now it’s become reflexive, almost instinctive, as if Jaskier has always been able to kiss his best friend.

Jaskier unlocks the front door and steps into the apartment. He’s surprised to see Geralt waiting in the entryway. Jaskier immediately holds a hand up and says, “Wait a second, sweetheart. At least let me take off my coat.” He purposely takes his time, hanging up his coat properly and arranging his boots neatly on the shoe mat. He wants to see how long Geralt lasts. Finally, he turns and opens his arms. “Okay, c’mere.”

Two hundred pounds of boyfriend barrel into Jaskier. He gives a wheezy laugh and murmurs, “Hi.”

“Missed you,” Geralt says, pressing himself impossibly closer.

“Missed you, too.” Jaskier leans into him and kisses his temple. He feels his body relax as he breathes in Geralt’s scent, a dusty vanilla sweetness that always lingers for a few hours after his shifts at the campus library. But there’s another smell, too. “Did you burn something?”

Geralt pulls away, and his blush confirms Jaskier’s suspicions. “Maybe,” he says. “But I wasn’t trying to. You know I’m shit at baking.”

“What did you bake?” Jaskier asks.

Geralt’s face lights up. “Come see. I have a whole night planned.”

Jaskier pointedly raises an eyebrow. “Ex-cuse me,” he says. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Geralt bumps the heel of his hand against his forehead. “My sincerest apologies.” He leans in and kisses Jaskier sweetly, and Jaskier can feel Geralt’s playful grin against his mouth. “Better?”

“It’ll do,” Jaskier sniffs.

continue on ao3

#geraskierholidayexchange #geraskier #geralt/jaskier #the witcher #myfics.#my first actual post on tumblr? a christmas miracle

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happinessfordeeppeople · 3 years

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Read fic in ao3 HERE

This is my gift for @seventfics for the @geraskierholidayexchange !

Happy holidays everyone!

#geraskierholidayexchange #geraskier #the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geralt x jaskier #my art #my fic #jaskier x geralt

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major-trouble · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel & Jaskier | Dandelion Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel (The Witcher), Emhyr var Emreis, Vesemir (The Witcher) Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, spy!jaskier, Competence Kink, Running away from your problems, Hurt Jaskier, Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Soft Eskel (The Witcher), Competent!Jaskier, First Kiss, Oral Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Abandonment Issues Summary:

“So you’re a spy!”

Geralt’s head whips around to gape at Eskel so fast that Jaskier winces. “He’s not a spy.”

“Er, yes I am?”

“No you’re not.”

“Geralt, I think when Dijkstra recruited me and I went to spy school, I became a spy.”

Eskel snorts. “No one calls it ‘spy school’. You work for the Redanian Secret Service.”

Jaskier nods, smiling softly at Eskel. The other Witcher grins back. Geralt growls, startling them both.

“What the fuck, Jaskier? Why would you do that? Do you have no regard for your own safety? Your own self-preservation?”

------------

Or, After The Mountain, Jaskier makes some decisions in his life that lead to interesting outcomes, including running away from and directly back into the one person he never wants to see again.

Written for the @geraskierholidayexchange this is my gift for @contemplativepancakes. I hope you like what I’ve written, and Happy Holidays!!

#the witcher #my writing #geralt #jaskier #eskel #fanfic #secret santa fic exchange #geraskierholidayexchange #there's some spicy bits at the end so #definitely an OSHA violation #violence #hurt/comfort

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seventfics · 3 years

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for @iboughtaplant !

Summary:

Rumors and assumptions surrounds a witcher and a bard. The witcher is just trying to do his job, even during a time as peaceful as Yule. There's gift giving to do too, which means last minute shopping to go through. If only people would leave him out of their gossip.

Fandom: The Witcher (TV)/All Media Types | Rating: T+ | Warnings: None | Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier | Tags: Yuletide, Alternate Universe - Modern Witchers (The Witcher), Fae Jaskier | Dandelion, Rumors, Happy Ending, Family Feels, Gift Giving, Established Relationship

@geraskierholidayexchange

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskierholidayexchange #myfics #tt

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octinary · 3 years

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This is my @geraskierholidayexchange gift for @prettyboy-parker! I went with your first prompt: Modern!AU Geralt is a single dad and Jaskier works at the local animal shelter. Geralt takes Ciri to the shelter every so often to look at the animals, but he’s really looking at Jaskier. Ciri notices and makes her dad talk to him. I did take the small liberty of changing the scene from an animal shelter to the wildlife rescue in a park, but hopefully it still fits the bill. I hope you had/are having a good holiday!

Title: Animal Attraction (T, 6.5k)

Relationships: Geralt/Jaskier

Tags: Meet-Cute, Or From Jaskier’s POV Meet-Grumpy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Metaphors, Harm to Animals, Ciri ships it, First Kiss, Unconventional Flirting

Summary: When Geralt brings the wounded but still breathing skunk that Ciri hit with their trunk into the park services building, he finally meets Jaskier, the new vet tech that started there a few weeks ago. Jaskier decides to keep the sometimes smelly, ornery, monochrome sweetheart. Oh, and he takes care of the skunk too.

CW: An animal gets hurt in this. It is by accident and the person who hurts the animal is very sorry and ensures that the animal receives proper care. The animal makes a full recovery. There is talk, before they know the animal is going to be fine, of potentially euthanizing it to put it out of its misery.

Read on AO3.

#the witcher #fanfic #modern au #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #ciri #meet cute #geraskierholidayexchange

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emmaziege · 3 years

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Finally, A Winter Solstice Gift for Jaskier

Geralt was just starting to speculate in earnest when Jaskier reappeared around the path between the humble houses, an object roughly the size of his hand wrapped up in one of Jaskier’s best handkerchiefs. He recognized the distinctive pale blue linen square, its edges embroidered with a fanciful border in a darker royal blue. “Geralt! You’ll be glad you didn’t do the classic brooding loner exit while I stepped away,” he smiled, blue eyes beyond what needlework could hope to match dancing with a secret. “Now you can’t say you haven’t had a gift this season. Happy Solstice,” he offered the parcel to the witcher.

For his part, Geralt seemed nonplussed. His gaze evaluated the bundle, then went back to Jaskier’s magnanimous smirk. “What is this?”

“I didn’t go to the trouble of getting it for you in secret and then wrapping it up to spoil the surprise at the very end,” Jaskier scoffed. “You’re supposed to open it.”

************

Every year, Jaskier gets Geralt a gift to mark the winter solstice. Geralt is not exactly kind about his acceptance of these gifts. But one year, he gives Jaskier something that may help to make up the disparity.

Written as a @geraskierholidayexchange gift for AO3/Twitter user vix_spes who requested a canon setting including various festive gifts that Jaskier has bought Geralt over the years and the one time that Geralt buys him a gift... Okay, I did cheat the prompt slightly. But it's the thought that counts, right? ;) I hope you enjoy it, vix! <3 Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516092 (2605k, Rated T)

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #thewitcher #the witcher fic #emmaziegewrites #the witcher netflix #finally a winter solstice gift for jaskier #geraskierholidayexchange #gifts 2020

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prettyboy-parker · 3 years

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the gradebook

hello everyone, i have risen from the dead to post my fic for the geraskier holiday exchange.

this is for the lovely max, eileentide , who requested ta!jaskier and security guard!geralt.

i hope you enjoy!

***

It’s the second time this week he’s gotten locked out of the building.

All Jaskier needs is his damn grade book- why he doesn’t just switch to online grading escapes him.

He jiggles the old English building’s door handle once more, kicking the freshly painted wood in frustration. He can’t believe Professor Marx won’t give him a key to the main building; this could have been avoided. But Marx is stubborn and doesn’t believe he’s done enough to be deserving of a key. Almost every day, he curses the gods for landing him a snobby, asshole professor to assist.

“God dammit!” Jaskier shouts, exasperated. He feels a presence somewhere behind him, almost like someone is watching his little predicament. He glances over his shoulder and jumps; someone is standing on the steps.

He immediately recognizes the man. He’s one of the campus security guards, named Geralt, who helped him the last time he was locked out of the building. He doesn’t have his usual blue security uniform on. There’s a very expensive looking leather jacket draped over his broad frame, paired with worn skinny jeans. He looks-well, he looks damn good. Jaskier can even see the tip of a tattoo peeking out from underneath his shirt.

“Good sir!” He exclaims, wiping his clammy hands on his sweatpants. Geralt raises an eyebrow- a slightly different facial expression than his usual grouchy scowl. “Could you, uh, help me out?”

“It feels like we’ve been through this before, yes?” Geralt grunts, unclasping his ring of keys from his belt. Jaskier stands awkwardly next to the door, tucking his hands into his pockets.

He watches as Geralt fiddles with the keys, picking out the one for the English building. His hands are huge, Jaskier notes, and he wonders how big they are compared to his dainty ones.

“You’re lucky I happened to be here,” Geralt says as he slips the key into the door. It opens with a soft click, revealing the darkness of the main hallway.

“Well, I’ll just have to thank you somehow,” Jaskier says with a wink, which makes the bigger man flush red. His stomach twists with satisfaction. “Would you mind walking me through the building?”

Geralt looks back to his security golf cart and then down to his watch.

“Sure- I have time.”

Jaskier beams and steps into the building.

Geralt stays quiet the entire walk through the desolate hall. It’s so odd; for a big, muscled man like him, one would think he’d be less awkward. His combat books clunk on the linoleum floor and echo through the area.

“My office is right over here, at the end of the hall. You’re welcome to come inside,” Jaskier says, fumbling with his keys. Geralt hums in response, looking around at the decorative plants and motivational posters that surround his office door.

“I- I’ll stay out here,” He decides.

Jaskier gives him a gentle smile and steps into his office. Before he looks for his grade book, he wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans. Why he’s so skittish around the security guard escapes him. He supposes it’s because Geralt is very handsome; it’s not out of character for him to get flustered around attractive people.

Jaskier finds his gradebook quickly, and locks up his office one more.

“That was fast,” Geralt gruffly notes.

“Well, I’m quite quick in most regards,” Jaskier says, tucking his keys into his pocket. “Important to note that it's most regards, not all.”

If Geralt gets what he’s saying, he doesn’t see, because there’s a loud crash from down the hall.

“Shit,” Geralt mumbles, staring into the darkness. Jaskier’s heart starts to beat faster; even though he has Geralt with him, he would prefer not to be robbed.

Geralt raises his flashlight and turns it on.

There’s…. a cat.

“Oh,” Jaskier says. “It’s a cat.”

The cat, a little tabby, stretches, and plops on the ground.

“How did a cat get in here?” Geralt asks, keeping his flashlight pointed at their four legged friend. Jaskier wonders the same, because he’s sure Geralt closed the door behind him.

“He must’ve followed us in here; could’ve thought you were a giant scratching post,” He quips, squatting down and outstretching his hand. “C’mere, kitty.”

The cat just blinks.

“Even he thinks you’re annoying,” Geralt grunts. Jaskier scoffs: offended.

“You’re getting a little bold there, my friend,” He mumbles, turning his attention away from the cat. “Too bold, I think.”

Geralt smirks, oddly pleased with the quip.

“Come on, let’s go. The cat will be fine in here for the night.”

Jaskier quietly agrees, and the two exit the building. The night air is cool against his flushed skin, giving him some relief from his nervous sweating. He watches as Geralt’s breath puffs into the air, visible against the dark sky. His facial features are sharp, a lot like his personality.

Sharp and biting.

“I presume I'll be seeing you again,” Geralt hums, tucking his hands into his jacket pockets.

Jaskier smiles.

“I’m sure of it.”

***

A few days later, the cat is still in the building.

Jaskier thinks his eyes look just like Geralt’s.

***

@geraskierholidayexchange

#geraskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskierholidayexchange #the witcher

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