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#girls who make tea
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Your URL. Change it/j. It's inaccurate. You draw them so well istg- /lh/pos
Anyway, what woukd happen if Nie Huaisang gets a metal martial arts fan.. Do you think he would finally whoop some ass instead of outsmarting them in extravagant fashion?
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As cool as NHS kicking ass would be, he has his babygirl reputation to maintain.
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bucketsofmonsters · 2 years
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Proper Etiquette - Part 1
cw: arranged marriage, oral sex, non-human genetalia, loss of virginity, reader is very repressed
male demon x fem reader
word count: 8k
part 1   part 2
You’d spent the whole week non stop planning your wedding. Stuff you’d dreamed about for ages. You had found your dress and helped pick flowers and colors, finally given the opportunity to decide things, to plan something for yourself. Everything would be perfect. But the planning couldn’t go on forever, eventually the actual day did arrive. 
And now you sat in the throne room, waiting to meet your future husband. It was odd, in all the years of thought you’d put into this wedding you hadn’t given much thought into who you'd be marrying. It wasn’t like it would matter anyways. You’d known it would be out of your control, that them letting you plan the wedding was nothing but an attempt to pacify you. A facade of control to distract you from the rest of your life that you had no part in making the decisions about. 
Sitting here, waiting for him to arrive, you could no longer indulge in that. You couldn’t throw yourself into planning, try and distract yourself from everything else. You sat there, chin up and face as unreadable as you could make it, and you had nothing to do but think. You had to stay present, it was important to consciously make yourself look regal in front of everyone, but that just made the time pass even slower, your incessant worry becoming overwhelming. 
Of course you’d known you wouldn’t get to choose who you married, that was how being a princess worked. That was why you’d put it out of your mind so intentionally, no use worrying about things you couldn’t change. However, in all your years of not thinking about it, you’d never imagined that this was how you’d end up. You assumed you’d marry some haughty rich boy, probably a prince or a king. You’d met enough of them to know that most of them were the same. You knew what awaited you, or at least you’d thought you had. Somehow, you had been blindsided. 
You wouldn’t react emotionally. They’d explained everything to you beforehand so you had time to cry, to get frustrated, to argue, to adjust. You were numb to it now. You’d do your duty and you would do it with grace. 
Part of you had thought that the descriptions of your husband-to-be and the others of his creed must have been exaggerated, that the people who had encountered them had been making the demons sound more imposing for the sake of their little tales. It wasn’t a foreign idea, returning soldiers would say plenty of things to make their victory sound a little more heroic or to make their defeat sound more justified. As he entered the room, you instantly realized that you had been wrong. The first thing you noticed was his size. He was easily seven feet tall, towering above everyone else in the room. His skin was a reddish-purple, far from anything human, with large, dark horns coming out of his head. 
He arrived alone. That had been one of the conditions of his arrival. Your father was convinced that if he’d brought more people, surely they’d attempt an invasion. Coming alone would prove his dedication to the peace you were forming with this marriage. You would return to his home with him when this was all over anyways. 
You had thought the rule foolish when you’d first heard it but now you were grateful. One towering man was more than enough to make you nervous, at least this way you had somewhere to focus your attention. 
You father spoke beside you, nodding his head in greeting. “Prince Rygel.”
The prince commanded the room's attention. You could feel everyone holding their breath, waiting nervously for him to speak. 
He spoke with a huff, clearly just as unhappy with this situation as you were. “Let’s get this over with.”
And with those words it was official. It was your wedding day. 
You didn’t think you’d get a chance to speak to one another before the ceremony and were confused when you were hustled into a side room, far from where you thought you’d be getting ready. When you turned to see the figure in the room you froze before remembering yourself. 
You curtsied deeply, showing respect as best you could. “Prince Rygel.”
He nodded, not bowing in return. “Princess.” 
For a moment frustration washed over you before you thought better of it. You knew nothing of his customs, of what a sign of respect was where he was from. Perhaps you were afraid of him, but you would not assume. Doing so would only make things worse, deepen the divide that already stood between the two of you. 
“I did not think we’d get to speak.” You attempted a smile as you spoke, doing your best to bridge that divide as much as could. 
“I insisted on it. It seems barbaric to marry someone I’d never even spoken to.” He seemed distracted, barely even looking at you.
You shrugged. “Such is politics.” That’s what you’d been telling yourself nonstop ever since you’d heard of the news, it wasn’t difficult to vocalize it. 
“Perhaps.” He fell silent, contemplating something that he didn’t seem interested in cluing you in on. 
As you sat in silence, feeling ignored and afraid and entirely out of your depth, you decided to speak up. At this point the wedding was happening no matter what, you might as well get some words in beforehand. “They all say you’re all monsters.” Even your voice felt small around him, feeling like it was barely leaving your throat. 
You weren't sure what response you wanted from him. Maybe reassurance that they were wrong or confusion at where the idea had come from. Perhaps, even, confirmation it was true. At least then you’d know what you were getting yourself into. The uncertainty was what was getting to you, just seeking some amount of knowledge about what the future would hold. 
He just chuckled to himself at some joke you were unaware you’d made. “You’d hate to hear what we say about you.”
That hadn’t occurred to you. Although humans weren’t as physically intimidating, surely his people had horror stories just like yours did. Your nations had been at odds for a very long time, you were sure both sides had plenty of tales of the other. And you would be living there, amongst people who probably hated you. You focused on your breathing, needing to keep yourself presentable at least until this ordeal was over. 
He clearly noticed the state you were working yourself into. “Listen, I’m not happy about this either. You think I want to marry a human?”
Great. As well as being terrified of being tied forever to this monstrous man, you weren’t even wanted. 
“This isn’t about what we want,” you responded, making sure to keep your chin up as you spoke, set on showing strength as much as you could. 
“No, it’s not. We’re prolonging this, you should go.”
You turned to leave, in a rush to get out before thinking better of it. You had to start forming goodwill between you at some point if this was going to be bearable, you might as well start now. “I’ll see you later,” you said, sparing him a small smile. 
He wasn’t even paying attention, lost in his own thoughts. As you left, you wondered if they were racing as much as yours were. 
The preparation for the wedding was all a blur. You barely even registered it had begun before you were at the altar. You kept finding yourself glancing around as the wedding commenced around you, as if perhaps, if you didn’t look at Rygel and didn’t listen to the officiant drone on between you, maybe this wouldn’t be real. 
Someone bumped you and you jolted back to reality, realizing they were waiting for you to speak. You uttered, “I do” and then it was done. You were married. All that preparation and you barely felt conscious for most of it. 
And then, per tradition, you kissed. He had to lean down to do so, you standing on the tips of your toes to reach him. It lasted barely a second, both of you clearly eager for it to be over. As soon as it was done you were out again, tuning out the world. 
You barely even realized you were being beckoned away. You turned, wide-eyed, to see someone who decidedly was not your husband trying to gently push you down a hallway. As you looked where he was trying to send you, you saw your husband walking off, leaving you behind. You charitably decided to believe he’d told you to come along and you just hadn’t heard him in your state, as opposed to him just choosing to leave you. You quickly thanked the man who had gotten your attention and trailed after Rygel, trying to keep up with his long gait. 
By the time you arrived, he was already settling into your bedroom, the one you would be sharing until you headed off to your new home. It was fairly nondescript, barely anything in the room but a few tables and a bed. You still felt distant, almost as if you were dreaming, unable to ground yourself in this foreign room. 
You realized that while you were in your daze with your back turned, taking in your surroundings, the prince had changed into more comfortable clothes, some meant for sleeping. That snapped you out of your trance. Suddenly, you were all too present, the reality of the situation setting in. 
As you took him in once more, you also realized he was staring at you, wondering how long he’d been doing that while you’d been in your little trance. Honestly, he was probably wondering why instead of changing you’d started breathing heavily and refused to look him in the eyes for more than a moment. Your panic was obviously clear to him because his face softened and he turned, giving you a modicum of privacy. You breathed in deeply, trying to keep your emotions in check, and then scrambled to get dressed, practically tripping over yourself as you rushed. 
He spoke from behind you, voice less stilted than it had been earlier. “You don’t need to be scared of me, you know.”
“I just got married, I think I would be scared regardless.” You smoothed out the lines in your nightgown as you sat on the bed, indicating to him that he could turn around. 
When he did, he seemed confused. “Were you always scared of marriage? I’d assumed it was because of me.”
“I just… I kind of know what comes next. I’ve heard whisperings…”
He chuckled. “Whisperings you say.”
“I just don’t really understand it and people have been saying all sorts of things to me about you and about tonight and I kind of know the basics, I just…” Now you were really getting yourself worked up, spiraling as you were honest with yourself about how you felt for the first time since this had all begun. “It’s just intimidating and I don’t know anything about you or your kind or where you come from or about this.” You gestured vaguely around you, not even sure what you were referring to at this point. 
“You’ll learn about me, there’ll be time for that. And we don’t have to do anything.”
“But…”
He cut off what was inevitably going to be another panicked ramble. “None of that, no buts. In fact, I think it’s been a long day for both of us and we need some rest.”
This wasn’t at all what you'd imagined. You knew the broad strokes of what should be happening tonight, you should be trying for a child. Although, you didn't even know if the two of you could have a child, you very much doubted it. But regardless, you knew what didn't happen was the pair going quietly off to bed. You'd heard the whispers and the snickering, about tonight and your new husband. Part of you was relieved, no longer having to face down this unknown, but still, you remained uncertain, both of what should be happening and of what was actually occurring.
You took a shot in the dark, “And if I never let you touch me?”
He shrugged. “Then I'll never touch you. I am not in the business of terrorizing young women, whatever stories they've told you about my kind. I came here to bring peace, we have done that, what happens beyond that is up to you, not anyone you’ve happened to hear whispers from.”
You knew this wasn’t how things were done, that you were breaking some unspoken protocol but frankly, you were too tired to care. His words calmed you enough to stop your heart from racing, the exhaustion really setting in. Right now you just wanted to sleep.
It hadn’t really set in until just now that the two of you would be sharing a living space from now on. You got carefully under the covers on the opposite side of the bed from where he was sitting.
As he went to lay down next to you, you both quickly realized that his form did not fit on the bed at all, legs hanging off no matter how hard he tried. However, despite the lack of space, he kept a fair distance from you, making sure you didn’t touch. 
He grumbled to himself as he made himself as comfortable as he could given the situation. “Did you not have a bigger bed? You're all so tiny.”
You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight which earned you a surprised look from the man. “I’m sorry, you just look so out of place.”
“When we return home, you’ll be drowning in bed space. None of these puny little beds.”
The smile fell from your face at the reminder. “When is that, when are we going?”
“We’ll wait a few days, so you can say your goodbyes.”
“Thank you.” You hoped the sense of genuine relief that washed over you had seeped into your voice, that he understood that you were grateful you’d have some time to adjust, even if he clearly didn’t want to be here. 
With your nerves mostly settled for the night you drifted off, doing your best to ignore the man laying next to you and pretend you were still in your own bed. 
You awoke to the feeling of being smacked in the face with a stray horn. You yelped out, more in surprise than pain, and Rygel jerked awake beside you. He quickly realized what had occurred as you rubbed your cheek and you spent your first morning as a married woman being apologized to profusely. 
Even long after you’d forgiven him, he still seemed mortified by the incident. “I’m really not used to such tight quarters, are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine, you just surprised me,” you reassured him for what felt like the hundredth time.
He seemed eager to leave your company, embarrassment written across his face. “I should be leaving, me and your father have some details we need to finalize about the treaty.” You gave him a quiet nod as he rushed off.
You, on the other hand, were not involved in the peace negotiations. You barely knew what was going on. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried, you’d fought to get any knowledge of what your marriage actually meant for your kingdom but every time you’d been told it wasn’t your place. 
So, with nothing better to do, you set about giving yourself tasks. Right now, your mission was to try and make this room feel more like a home, even if you’d only be here a few days. You managed to squirrel away some of the flowers from your wedding that were already being thrown out. It was quite a waste, they were still beautiful and already they were being discarded, you were sure they wouldn’t mind you sneaking some off. 
You displayed them throughout the room, realizing too late you might have grabbed too many but unwilling to get rid of any of them. They brightened your mood and that was enough to justify having so many scattered about. 
As Rygel returned, he did not seem so enthused by the new addition to your room, more confused than anything. “What are these?”
You felt yourself spring up in excitement. “They’re flowers! They’re the ones from the wedding, I picked them out myself. Most of them were grown in our garden, it’s lovely out there this time of year.”
“Are they? We don’t really have gardens where I’m from.”
Your shoulders fell, the excitement draining from your body. You didn’t know much about your new home, besides the stories you’d been told about it which you were beginning to suspect may not have been entirely accurate. Now the only concrete information you really had was that there would be no flowers. “Oh, right. Well, you should at least see ours while we’re still here.”
“Would you like to show me?”
You nodded eagerly, always excited to give someone a tour of the gardens. You loved the flowers and the atmosphere and would talk about them to anyone who would listen to you, which historically hadn’t been very many people. 
As you rushed him outside to begin your tour, you realized that Rygel seemed to be able to stomach more of your rambling than most, following you deep into the palace’s quite extensive gardens, showing him your favorite plants and spots to hide out. 
You finally ended up in your favorite place, a little spot looking over a pond, mostly hidden away from the winding path by a willow tree. You’d spent many days here, hiding away from the world, trying to find a moment of quiet. You weren’t even sure you’d meant to walk here, your feet just taking you here on instinct. 
Rygel looked around, a ghost of a smile on his face. When he looked like this, you didn’t find him quite so threatening. He almost looked friendly. 
“You care a lot about this place.” It sounded almost like an accusation, like he’d caught you doing something.
 You nodded in agreement. “I grew up here, of course I do.”
“We don’t put as much emphasis on places. People, ideas, those are the things worth caring about. I thought your kind’s obsession with objects and places was all greed and pride but the way you care about this place… maybe I was quick to judge.”
You shrugged. “Maybe we both were.” Being here calmed you down, made everything feel like it made more sense. “You know, I used to sit under this tree and hide from my tutors so I wouldn’t have to go to class,” you said with a giggle.
“You don’t like learning?”
“Oh, no, I love learning! I just didn’t much like my tutor.”
He gasped in faux shock. “Princess. I didn’t know you had it in you to speak ill of someone.”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes as you cracked a smile, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum. “I just didn’t like how he made me learn. Never really explained anything, it was all rules and refusing to answer my questions. I much preferred my time out here, I’d spend hours looking at the flowers and reading whatever I could get my hands on.”
“Seems like you probably learned more that way anyways. Did you ever swim in this pond? That’s what I would’ve been up to out here, probably less intellectual than the reading but more fun”
“Of course I did! What self respecting child wouldn’t ruin their nice dresses by jumping in a pond. When I was very young, before my etiquette classes became truly serious, I would go frog hunting in here, I’d find them and show them to everyone. I was quite the little menace.”
“You sound delightful. Curse the etiquette classes for taking that from the world, we could always use more frog hunters.”
“Yes, well, those sorts of things are for children. I’m a proper lady now.”
A sense of disdain passed over his face and you worried you’d ruined the moment. “I swear, it’s like they beat the fun out of you humans,” he grumbled, not seeming upset at you but seeming upset nonetheless. 
“It’s just not proper.”
“So? When we return you’ll learn to have fun again, I’m sure of it. We’ll find you a frog pond somewhere, let you enjoy yourself for once.”
Your first response was to be taken aback by the prospect. You felt like you probably didn’t look dissimilar to all the ladies of the court you’d tried to show frogs to in your youth, sneaking them in inside of your long sleeves and displaying them proudly to the horror of the people around you. 
There were lots of things you’d stopped doing. You wondered how many of them were normal where Rygel came from, how many deep seeded habits you’d have to unlearn. 
“Perhaps it’s best to leave the fun to the children.” You tried to look away from him, feeling some negative emotion brewing in the pit of your stomach that you didn’t want to deal with, when he grabbed your chin and pulled your attention back to him.
He inspected your face as he held it in his hand and you left it there, too shocked and confused to turn away again. “You’re scared,” he muttered. “Scared of what? Of not having to force yourself into these stuffy rules? Of anything new, perhaps?”
“I’m not scared.”
“Prove it.”
And then he leaned down and kissed you, his hand drifting to your cheek. His hands were so big they almost engulfed your face but the lightness of his touch offset how intimidating that was, his touch so soft that you could easily pull away if you wanted to. You didn't. 
You’d seen people kiss before, couples in the court showing quick affection towards one another. You had only been kissed once in your life, up on that altar in front of everyone. That kiss had been what you’d expected, exactly what you’d seen before, quick and quietly affectionate. This was nothing like that. This was something new.
This was passionate and overwhelming in a way you didn’t know a kiss could be. You tried to match his movements, unsure of yourself and trying to get out of your own head. As his lips moved against yours, you sunk into the kiss, shutting off your brain and just letting yourself feel. 
Your arms wrapped around his neck, trying to keep yourself on the tips of your toes so you could reach him properly. That wasn’t a concern for long as his other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you up towards him. 
You let out a surprised little noise as his tongue entered your mouth, the feeling foreign but not unwelcome. It felt like he was exploring you in ways you’d never imagined before. You were happy the two of you were in your little hiding place because the idea of anyone seeing you like this was unthinkable. 
When he finally pulled away, you felt dizzy, almost like you were drunk on something, although on what you weren’t sure
You were at a loss for words, opening and closing your mouth, feeling like a fish out of water.
Finally you settled on, “Was that normal?”
His head cocked to the side. “Does it matter?”
You realized you were almost panting, your breathing heavy after the kiss, trying desperately to calm it down. 
He tilted your head up again and you let him, your cheeks burning beneath his gentle hand. “This flustered after a kiss, I can’t even imagine how disheveled I could make you.”
If it was anything like that, you’d welcome it. You weren’t sure you could manage words right now so you just stayed still, looking up at him quietly. 
His thumb ran across your cheek, a naked affection present in his eyes. “You know, I like you much more than I thought it would. They just pushed you down so far under those layers of etiquette that I couldn’t see it.”
A soft smile graced your face and you nuzzled into his hand, craving a closeness with him that you didn’t quite understand. 
With the tour finished and a peak of the afternoon reached, Rygel led you gently back towards the palance, seemingly unbothered by your silence. You were busy with other things, your mind mainly occupied with attempting to unravel the events of the afternoon and the cacophony of emotions and thoughts flowing through you. 
When you reached your room you were still trying to unravel the web of emotions you’d been stuck with, studying the flowers you’d squirreled away as you thought. Although you were unable to understand your own thoughts, something else did occur to you and you grabbed some flowers from the bouquet, pressing some sprigs of lavender under the couple of books in the room. 
Rygel watched you work, quietly observing as you picked out your favorite flowers and placed them within the pages of the books before stacking them up. “What are you doing?” 
“I’m pressing some flowers. It’s not much but it means they’ll be preserved and I can bring them with me when we leave.”
“That’s a clever idea.”
“Thank you!” You were beaming at the praise, his interest in and approval of your actions meaning more to you than you thought they would. 
“You know, I’ve been thinking…” you said, as you turned from your books back to your husband after having collected your thoughts. 
“Oh, have you.”
“Aren’t we supposed to be… you know…”
“You don’t need to talk in riddles. What are you asking me?”
You couldn’t. You physically did not have the capacity to speak plainly on this matter, feeling overwhelmed already. “Forget it, I was being silly,” you said, trying to brush it off.
He shook his head. “I’m not letting you run that easily, princess.”
“I just want us to do what we should be doing.” You tried to play it off, like this was no big deal and you just wanted to follow how things should be.
“You weren’t so eager last night. Last night it was ‘what if I never let you touch me.’ What’s changed? Maybe you want more than what you’re letting on.”
You reeled back, feeling as if you’d been accused of something. “No. That’s not true.”
“Maybe not. Do you want to try something? It won’t be what you heard whisperings of, not yet at least, I get the feeling that would be too much. Right now, let’s just focus on reminding you how to enjoy yourself, how does that sound?” He was drawing closer as he spoke and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. 
He got so close to you that with one stray breath you’d be touching and then he stopped, waiting for your response. Things were in your hands now, you had to choose it, he wouldn’t let you just stumble into this.
You managed a quiet, “Okay,” and let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t press you for more. 
Instead, he gave you a gentle smile, one that you couldn’t help but return. 
“Stop me if it’s too much, alright? And keep talking, I want to hear that pretty little voice.”
Before those last words could leave you floundering, he crashed your mouths together once again and you let yourself get wrapped up in the kiss, everything else fading away. 
He picked you up effortlessly, mouth still pressed to yours, and you didn’t care where he took you as long as you got to keep doing this. You felt yourself being set on the bed, your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him there with you as he pressed you into the sheets.
Eventually, despite your efforts to keep him there, he pulled away, drawing a small whine from you. Immediately you slapped your hand over your mouth, horrified at the noise you’d just made. 
He immediately grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand from your mouth and pressing it into the bed. “I said I want to hear you.”
You nodded immediately, your eagerness to please overwhelming your embarrassment. 
After you agreed, you expected to be kissed again, but instead, to your mild disappointment, he just drifted downwards. He pulled up the hems of your skirts, flipping them up towards you so he could get under them and you fought every urge to cover yourself back up. His hand began to pull down your tights as he studied your face.
“How are you feeling?”
You did an internal check in. How were you feeling? Different, that was for sure. It felt like something was brewing under your skin, your whole body flushing and your breaths getting heavy once more. “Hot. My heart is beating really fast.”
“All good things”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yes, really.”
He pulled down your tights the rest of the way, leaving you fully exposed. You could barely even see him, the skirts he’d hiked up around your waist getting in the way. You pushed the skirts in, compressing them so you could see his face, desperate to read him, to understand what he was feeling.
He looked enthralled, staring between your thighs like they held all the answers in the universe. His massive fingers glided through your newly exposed folds. “Look at you, all nice and wet for me. I can’t believe I was able to get the innocent little princess so riled up.”
Before you had a chance to respond, he leaned forward and licked a hot, wet stripe through your folds, the sudden sensation making your legs clamp together, prevented by his head and horns between your thighs, keeping you spread open.
He stopped immediately, looking up at your wide-eyed face. “I said talk to me, how are you doing?”
Your mind was still reeling, barely able to think properly, let alone verbalize how you were feeling.
He prompted you further, searching your face for clues as to how you felt as he let his head rest on your lower stomach. “Come on, sweet girl.”
Your face flushed even more at the pet name, something you didn’t even know was possible. You weren’t sure your face had ever been this hot before in your life. 
“Can you do it again?” you ask, your voice soft and unsure. You felt as if you were doing something wrong but the overwhelming urge to experience it again overrode that. 
A mischievous smile crossed his face and he immediately dropped back down, pressing kisses into your upper thigh before his thick tongue returned to your folds, a whimper escaping your throat as he did. 
And then he sucked and your hips almost unwillingly bucked upwards. You could feel him repressing a grin, opting instead to nip at your upper thigh and you let out another whine, absolutely desperate for more. 
“Did that feel good? Are you enjoying yourself?”
His tone felt like he was teasing you but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care, frantically nodding your head and babbling out words in the affirmative, hoping he’d do it again.
He seemed to enjoy teasing you, doing something that would make you gasp and then pulling away again, demanding responses or pressing kisses into your thighs for a while before returning. 
After a while, you realized he was waiting for you to tell him what to do, that he wouldn’t stop this teasing until you asked, perfectly content to sit down there and bring you right to the edge for as long as you let this go on. 
The next time he was where you wanted him, lapping at the spot right above your folds, you spoke unprompted for the first time since this had begun. “Please, stay there, I need more.”
The second you asked him he doubled down, his mouth now glued to you, a feeling in your lower stomach drawing tighter and tighter. The sensations were starting to get overwhelming, your head thrown back and your back arching into him. 
You grabbed at the fabric of your skirts, desperate for something more solid to hold onto. Finally, your hands reached down and grabbed his horns, wrapping as far around them as you could. This only seemed to spur him on, his arms lifting you up, holding your lower half slightly aloft and pulling you even further into his face, as if you weighed nothing. 
You were as close as you could be, your hands pushing his horns down, pressing his face further into you and his hands pulling you up into him, one of them drifting down to grab your ass while the other stayed firmly positioned at your hip. 
You were glad his new resolve to eat you out unendingly left him unable to speak because if he’d prompted a response from you right now, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to manage one. 
And then the world exploded. Your vision whited out. Distantly, you could feel yourself pushing up into his face, but everything else felt so far away compared to what you were feeling, the pure bliss ripping through you. 
It began to fade and you pushed Rygel off of you as the sensations started to become too much. He allowed you to push him away and sit up as he looked at you expectantly. He was panting too, as if this had affected him just as much as it had affected you. 
It felt like you were able to think for the first time since this had started, your normally ordered thoughts had completely left you behind. As you came down from your high, they returned and your head raced. What had just happened? 
As your ability to think coherently returned, a thick cloud of guilt settled over you. “This was wrong.”
His words were soft and low, like he was talking to a wounded animal. “You're crashing. This can happen after you come, a low after a high, it’s totally normal.”
You weren’t listening to him, you couldn’t listen to him. “This is evil.”
“You need affection right now, princess. Come here, let me take care of you.”
“I need to be away from you.” You stumbled to your feet, knees shaky and head reeling. Your skirts fell back to their rightful place as you stood. “This is wrong, I’m not supposed to… You’re trying to seduce me to evil.”
“I’m trying to seduce you to something. You need to calm down, just breathe.”
“No, this is… this can’t be right. We’re supposed to be producing children not… I have to go.”
You didn’t let him say another word to you, certain he could’ve convinced you to stay if you’d let him. 
Did human husbands do what he’d done to you? You’d never heard such things but then again, you were starting to think there were many things you hadn’t heard of. 
You went to the library as if it held any answers for you, pouring through books, not even sure what you were looking for at this point. The most you ever got out of them was “do what your husband says” and you were sure that they didn’t have your particular husband in mind when they wrote that.
Besides, he hadn’t actually told you to do anything. Quite the opposite, he would’t really do anything without you asking. It probably would have been easier if he’d told you what to do, easier to rationalize it that way. But now, the weight felt like it was on your shoulders. You had asked for this, if it wasn’t right that was on you.
After spiraling for hours, you realized night had long since set. No matter how out of sorts you felt, you should get back to your room. You winced at the prospect of having to face Rygel. You never seemed to be able to think around him, knowing that the confusion you were feeling now would only get worse in his presence. Why was he so overwhelming?
You thought there was a chance he’d be asleep when you returned, that you’d be able to slip into bed and you wouldn’t have to face him. That hope was squashed when you entered your room, finding him waiting patiently for you. 
“It’s a bit late for aftercare but something tells me you still need to be taken care of.” He opened his arms, beckoning you towards him. 
You weren’t even sure what you were doing, you just knew you wanted to be near him. A few days ago, you would’ve pushed the instinct aside, pushed down what you wanted, ignored it. But he’d broken down your walls too much and you wanted it too badly. 
As soon as you got within arms reach, he pulled you into his chest and you were absolutely engulfed by his embrace. 
You could practically feel the tension leave you, melting into him as he held you. You couldn’t help but feel safe with him, a quiet sense of reassurance present in his touch.
“Where did you go?”
You tried to shrug but you couldn’t, his embrace limiting the movement of your arms. “Just went to read.”
You felt a chuckle rumble through his chest. “Just so you know, I’m not bringing any of those damn etiquette books with us. They’ve ruined your life enough already. You know, I did something with my afternoon too.”
You somehow already felt sleepy. You kept missing just how tired you were right up until your worry left you. You were being held up only by his arms, if he stopped supporting you you’d collapse on the floor. Instead, he pulled the both of you back onto the bed, keeping you firmly tucked against him. 
You nuzzled into his chest as you spoke, the word coming out a little slurred as exhaustion overtook you. “What did you do?”
“I’ve found some flowers that I think will work with our soil back home, it won’t be what you have here but it’ll be something.”
Suddenly, you felt wide awake, pulling away so you could look at him. “You did what?”
“They seem important to you, I want you to feel at home.”
You felt yourself tearing up and he immediately pulled you into his chest.
This couldn’t be bad. This man who seemed intent on making you feel safe and welcome, who was never endingly obsessed with what you wanted, couldn’t be bad.  
You pulled back again, although he seemed reluctant to let you go. You immediately used the opportunity to crash your lips into his, desperate to show him how grateful you were. He seemed surprised at first but quickly and happily sunk into it. 
“You’re getting bolder,” he said as he pulled away, his forehead leaned against yours.
You were. Never would you have considered doing anything like that before today, something that you just did because you wanted to. Maybe having to unlearn all this, to live in his society, not fueled by what was proper wouldn’t be so bad. If it was like today, you couldn’t say you’d mind it at all. 
“I think I’m in love with you.” You said the words as soon as you realized they were true, your carefully constructed filter slipping away entirely. 
“I think I’m in love with you too. Funny how that works out.”
You let him pull you into him again, this time without any protest, happily falling asleep against his side. 
You woke up warm and happy, still tucked under his arm, your back pressed tightly to his front and your head tucked under his, a far cry from the deliberate distance between you you’d slept with before. 
As you wiggled a little to get comfortable, you heard him groan behind you, waking up. As you shifted, you felt something hard pressed into you before he pulled away, mumbling a quiet apology. 
As he did your rose with him and he immediately detected the confusion written across your face. His face fell into that familiar scowl and he muttered to himself, “Did they teach you anything?”
Not really. You’d assumed you’d sort of instinctively know everything. That’s how everyone had made it sound, like after you got married you’d just know what to do. Unfortunately, married you was just as clueless as unmarried you had been. 
You didn’t like feeling like you were in the dark, like everyone, including your husband, knew so much more than you. You’d been told you’d know what to do, you’d know what was right, you’d know so many things and yet they hadn’t given you the tools to figure those things out. It wasn’t fair. You options seemed to be to stay in the dark forever or potentially make the wrong choice because your supposed instincts just never kicked in. 
You wondered if this was a normal problem, if everyone was left in a confused panic after they got married. Sure, their situations probably weren’t as extreme as yours, but you couldn’t imagine that you’d feel more certain with a human spouse. 
Or maybe it was just you. Maybe everyone else in the world had these perfect instincts and here you were, trying not to spiral in front of your husband. 
He seemed to immediately pick up on your headspace, eyes softening as he watched you take shaky breaths. 
You sank to the floor, your head reeling, unsure of what to do with yourself but knowing you needed to sit down. 
He followed you down, sitting beside you. 
You buried your head in your hands so you didn’t have to face his concerned gaze. “I just wish I knew anything.” You were frustrated and confused and felt like you were at a disadvantage that you shouldn’t have had to deal with. 
“Do you want to learn? I can show you.”
That got your attention. Your head swung up to look at him. “What?”
“Well, you’re not going to learn by pouting on the floor. Or maybe… do you want to see?”
You nodded eagerly, watching him rise to his feet and sit on the edge of the bed, looking down at you. You rose to your knees, your stomach fluttering as he started to undo his pants.
Your eyes widened as they came undone and his cock sprang out, massive and hard. There was no way that would ever fit inside you. Maybe without the size difference, but not between the two of you. 
“Is this supposed to go…”
“Don’t worry about that, you’re just learning right now.”
You tentatively wrapped your hand around it, your fingers just barely unable to meet, needing both hands to encompass the whole thing. 
“It’s bigger than what most humans have,” he said, responding to the shocked look plastered across your face.
You certainly hoped so, you imagined this would look wildly disproportionate on a human man. 
You remembered what he’d done to you yesterday and tentatively licked the head of it, getting a taste of the liquid seeping from the tip.  As you did, he groaned. Your eyes flew up to look at his face, contorted in pleasure as he looked down at you. He’d liked that. You made him feel good, like what he’d done to you. 
You started again with new determination, wanting to make him feel good again. This was no longer just exploration, you had a goal now. You licked the head of it again, watching his reaction closely. 
He let out another low noise, eyes still on you. “Turns out I’m not the only tease in this marriage.”
You weren’t intentionally teasing him, you both knew that, but the idea that you could be filled you with a sense of power. Maybe you weren’t as experienced, but you could make him feel good and make him desperate for more, maybe you weren’t as far out of your depths as you thought.
You attempted to fit more of it in your mouth, no longer content with your tentative licks. You could barely fit anything past the head, the rest far too big, opting instead to wrap your hands around it. You sucked in and watched triumphantly as your actions were rewarded by him throwing his head back, another desperate noise leaving him. 
His eyes kept pulling back towards you, entranced by your actions as you explored and attempted to bring him closer to the bliss you’d experienced the day before. You licked and sucked, taking careful note of what got a reaction from him, trying to elicit more and more of them, loving every noise you managed to draw from the man. 
“Come on you… shit, I’m close, fuck me.” Through his expletives you kept on sucking, wanting to watch him come unraveled even more. He hissed out a few more curse words and pulled you off of him. You couldn’t help but let out a small whine as he did, wanting to earn more of those noises from him.
 He looked down at you, eyes wide, a frenzied look on his face. “You want more? I don’t want to accidentally choke you, just… fuck, look at you, so deperate for me. You have no idea how fucking gorgeous you look right now.” You stayed kneeled on the floor, waiting for further instruction. His hand wrapped all the way around his cock easily, not needing the two hands that you’d found necessary, his hips bucking desperately into his hand. 
“Can you keep your mouth open for me?” he asked between pants as he pumped his shaft. 
You nodded eagerly, wanting to please him. 
Just as your mouth fell open, he grunted one last time, sounding almost animalistic, and then he erupted, thick ropes of cum falling onto your face and into your mouth. 
It tasted like the stuff from before, just much more of it this time. You swallowed as much as you could but there was still plenty left to paint your face. Finally, the seemingly never ending ropes ceased and he began to soften.
You couldn’t have looked attractive, your eyes were watering and there was spit and cum everywhere but he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 
“You did so well.” His hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into him happily. “Come on, I need to get you cleaned up.”
He guided you to your feet, pulling you into his side as he moved you towards the washroom and you let him pull you along, ready to let him take care of you.
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steelycunt · 2 years
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adam parrish girls and ronan lynch guys have it so easy and i am so tired of it...coca-cola shirt-wearing sepia photograph savagely handsome tattooed pitbull? wow good for you nice for some i guess? but what about my wife....she wears boat shoes...
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prosebushpatch · 5 days
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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.
Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.
I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.
This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.
I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.
Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.
Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?
Simon.
Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.
Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.
Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.
Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.
Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.
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kisaraslover · 4 months
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if anyone has any problem making sense of the way i interpret Kaiba just remember this: Tea Gardner looks at him one day and has the dawning realization "hes like a lesbian of some kind" this should make all the pieces fall into place
#not art#tea gardner#anzu mazaki#seto kaiba#yugioh#ygo#i mean it. kisara existing or not. i mean ittttt#i look at him. i look at myself. i look at his barely contained animosity towards all men- immediate competition- rivals#and then his much more calm reception of women. and i go ''hes literally me''#this is why im forever kaiba-mai valentine kaiba-ishizu friendship truther. tea doesnt make the cut but like.#if i write the series again id have to make him choose her for anything that isnt dueling. that spot is determinedly atem#but hes gotta sit next to someone from yugi gang for a flight? gardner. hes gotta share a cab? gardner. hes gotta save a yugi friend?#gardner.#not that they speak. not that hed want to spend time with her he doesnt have to. but to me hes like those dogs that hate men always#mai valentine would genuinely have his respect -she seems to have given battles of her own and came out a bit similar to him#hed actively enjoy her humor especially if joey is the butt of it. she would actively make an effort to get close too. birds of a feather#ishizu though. ohhh hed be so annoyed anytime shes like ''fate and gods and magic'' the way i am when straight girls bring up.#astrology. and tarot and whatnot. half disproving and trying to convince them. half listening to see where they take it#but 100% not taking it seriously for himself#but shes an accomplished woman who can be a deadly business woman and hed like that part of her.#again he can see himself reflected in powerful women and the sexist writing aside he just wouldnt be threatened by them#COUGH gozaburo COUGH.#sigh i just gotta make everything about that asshole dont i.#<- actual seto kaiba thought whenever he has an emotional awakening to his trauma once again being tied to gozaburo#DAMN im a good kinnie. yeeeesh
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the jewelry Athy stole likely belonged to the murdered concubines of the Ruby Palace and not once Athy feels bad about stealing from the dead
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dayurno · 5 months
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To me its crazy that there's not a Hanahaki Kevin fic out there. It doesn't even have to be about about a specific romantic relationship it could be gen (familial love Hanahaki hits different okay).
It's just that Kevin Day is repressing feelings the rest of the world didn't even know existed and I feel like we as a society don't appreciate that enough
i'm not usually a hanahaki fan but 1) you're right 2) i do believe there was a keremy hanahaki fic somewhere across the sea of time but i don't have anything to claim for it aside from a vague memory of reading it
BUT YEAH. honestly no one in the world would be a better (worse?) victim of hanahaki than this loser. he would never dare to express its existence unless it became an active hindrance in court. when asked who its about he would genuinely have no idea. do you know how infuriating it would be to ask someone who gave them hanahaki and hear that they DON'T KNOW? kevin. day. i'm going to drown you in the toilet.
it is a very good concept though!!!!!! he IS indeed repressing feelings the rest of the world didnt even know existed and i love love love situations where a character cant hide from their feelings because they become a external manifestation. yeah hanahaki is cliche and it might be easy angst but when done Right it can be a delicious homemade meal that reminds you of picking apples at papas orchard
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hannahxrosey · 25 days
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Life is beautiful, but you don't have a clue. Sun and ocean blue. Their magnificence, it doesn't make sense to you.
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theygender · 6 months
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I love being T4T. My gf has been on estrogen for a couple weeks now and she's been having a rough time with her mood so I'm teaching her about the ancient art of soaking in a bubble bath with a little drink to sip while watching shows on your laptop
#pro-tip for any girls newly on E. this is The Cure for PMS#(which accurately describes what youre going through btw)#other great cures include putting on nice smelling lotion and fuzzy socks and wrapping yourself in a blanket burrito/nest#also eating lots of chocolate or other sweets and drinking your favorite caffeinated beverages#my mom used to always put on lotion and fuzzy socks and drink dr pepper and eat chocolate#my cousin likes to watch netflix in the bath with wine and then get in a blanket burrito with her favorite lemonade tea#if youve got someone to take care of you then you dont even have to come out of the burrito. you can just ask them to bring you things#all of these methods help a lot. we're experts on this you can trust me (family of people with endometriosis)#also if youre having headaches and bloating and stomach pain you might try midol (generic works fine)#it has acetaminophen for pain + caffeine for headaches (like excedrin) + antihistamine for bloating#also to clarify: i said girls newly on E only bc i figured girls who have been on it for a while might have already figured this stuff out#but PMS is by no means exclusive to transfems who have newly started on E#many transfems have reported getting PMS symptoms and even cramps on a monthly basis after being on estrogen for a while#this is bc after a while on E your body can start naturally making more estrogen and this can come with its own hormone cycle#and as a result you can essentially get all of the symptoms of a period just without the actual bleeding#(this can include cramps bc even in cis women the signals for the muscle spasms can sometimes get misdirected to nearby organs—#unfortunately causing stomach issues as well)#so if anyone out there happens to not already know this information and youve been feeling like shit periodically for seemingly no reason#now you know 😅#its your period#rambling
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crossbackpoke-check · 8 months
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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immortalsins · 9 days
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not to be tumblr ranting again but idk how much longer i can handle uni and it's been 4 days since i got back. there are currently 2 friends of housemates here and i'm too autistic to handle making conversation. just want to go downstairs to make some tea but last time i did that had to say omg hii how are you to someone and my unwillingness to talk makes me look like such a freak sorry i am just finding it physically hard. can't even make tea
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variousqueerthings · 7 months
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I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)
and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)
and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop
meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)
contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)
and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)
my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)
and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts
#im rewatching doctor who#doctor who#dw#aroace doctor#look im rewatching into 13 and beyond i am willing to entertain yaz and 13 because we enjoy a good bit of lesbianism#however will wait and see because the doctor in my head is so so aroace in every incarnation#they just manifest it in different ways#i could go into the whole eleven-and-river and how i feel about that#i am perhaps in the minority in that river's arc just doesn't work for me and often neither does her character#i kind of want to listen to the audio adventures because ive heard she's got much more to do there#than be a flirty enigma/sexy lady/moffat fantasy#but i can say that one of my least favourite things about moffat's run was how 'sexy' he tried to make everything#by literally just having people use the word sexy all the time and talk about bad girls and what have you#it's like sexiness as written by a straight teenage boy#and not a supposedly grown man writing for grown people#other minority opinion perhaps but eleven just isn't my cup of tea#am interested in how i'll feel going back into that run#dont like matt smith much dont like moffat much and dont like what they envisioned for the doctor and how they directed/acted the doctor#feel like capaldi had to claw the character back into some semblance of thematic coherency#i was never too much into especially ten getting a bit high and mighty with lonely god and the like titles BUT#waters of mars places that in a very particular context that makes it so so gooood#(another post for another day about companion opinions)
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tardis--dreams · 3 days
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Some of those doctors make hating oat milk their entire personality. I hate them. Cannot pretend to find them funny or like i give a shit. Fucking pretentious assholes
#also my colleague (the girl i had my shift with) is the exact opposite of me in all aspects. asked me if I'd ever worked in customer service#because i couldn't care less about being fake friendly to assholes and don't care if they like the service or not#like bitch those people don't have any other choice but drink our fucking coffee it's not like I'm competing with anyone#or like they pay us in any way. i get paid for doing the dumb work i have to do not for stroking some dumb ass doctors' egos#they come out of their rooms once an hour to get coffee and we have the cups on the table and i wouldn't even Think of#HANDING them the cups and smiling sweetly at them and asking 'coffee? tea?? :))'#I'll just assume these grown adults will get their stupid coffee or tea when they want some. it's not like they don't know where it is#(and i AM friendly and smile when someone is coming in our direction but why the fuck do you need to get so disgustingly friendly with them#if someone held up a cup asking if i.want some coffee I'd leave immediately even if i came just for coffee. it's creepy)#anyway. she's nice. I'm not.#there's normal people who will get their coffee and maybe ask if the milk in the little jug is cow milk to which I'll happily reply 'yes#:)'. then there's the other people who see the oat milk and make it clear they are the most insufferable people on the planet#(and i pity their patients so much. not much to choose from i guess but if i had that as a doctor I'd happily just die)#like everyone who took oatmilk could do it without making a fuss about the cow milk on the table. the cow milk lovers could never#'the oat milk is in front of the actual milk. this is unacceptable. i hate such healthy bullshit' lol okay#'OAT milk?? I'll leave this to the horses! THANK GOD you have actual milk!'#my favorite was the one who really took personal offense with its sheer presence. as if it had killed half of his patients lmao#'we had 50 patients with xyz problem. ALL of them drink oat milk. they cannot see the connection. it's really unhealthy'#at this point i just said i didn't care and stopped paying attention and he started complaining to his doctor colleague about how#oat milk is advertised to be healthy and how it's actually the opposite and i just find that very funny compared to the first comment#from that one guy who doesn't like such healthy bullshit. you guys need to find a consensus on the oatmilk issue i think. no one takes you#seriously if you contradict yourself like this. also i couldn't care less about the healthiness of the milk alternative of my choice. bitch.#next week I'll end up killing someone. i hope they all die from their cow milk. (but not the ones who took cow milk and didn't say anything#about the oat milk. they can continue living as they didn't annoy me)#void screams#some of these doctors were actually quite nice (most of them even). one even brought an applicant to us telling her to get some coffee#(which we are not allowed to give to applicants. but i don't care. I'd rather they get something than some of the asshole jury members#who hate oat milk (which is not the issue. the issue is them making it everybody else's issue that they don't like oat milk))
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plum1xland · 10 days
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ive had. a new dr brewing in my brain for so long that i Really gotta get to scripting
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autumnhobbit · 2 years
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if you're someone who goes out to eat occasionally, try to make it a habit to remember to pray for the staff, by name if you can for the ones you know and for all the others you don't. a lot of the time service workers are kids, and even when they're not, they're doing a hard and often thankless job, so much that almost nobody thinks of them unless they screw something up. but they deserve to be treated like human beings and respected for their work. (and given a radical overhaul of the system that lessens the pressure on them and demands their protection, but that's another rant shhhh.)
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doverstar · 9 days
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so far taylor swift’s new album is…not…good?
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