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astupidweeb69 · 5 months

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The Roommate (Dark!Ticci Toby x F!Reader)

NSFW One-shot

Author's note: This is my first time writing smut, so sorry if this turned out bad. It's also way longer than I thought, hopefully there aren't any spelling errors. Cross posted on my AO3 account.

Warnings: Swearing. Toby being creepy, he hurts the reader, blood kink? unprotected sex, creampie, biting, it's just... a lot. (4,519 words) - Minors DNI!

___________________________________________________________

Your brother hated his new roommate.

From what you gathered from the phone calls you two had, you knew he kept to himself, was kind of creepy and left the occasional mess in the kitchen. Your brother had tried to include him when he went out with his other college friends, but he always refused. The guy was gone at odd hours during the night, and smelled like dirt and pine.

You told him it was his own fault for posting an ad for a roommate on Craigslist.

It wasn’t all bad though. He paid his rent on time, always in cash - which he slipped under your brother's bedroom door at the end of every month. Plus, he had insisted on not signing any formal documentation. The lease they had was just a last minute document drawn up for a short term stay.

Your brother would only have to put up with him for 6 months. Then he’d be gone.

But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. And your brother needed someone to pick up part of the rent last minute.

After a few months it had seemed like he’d grown accustomed to the strange ‘twitchy’ man he lived with, that is, until you told him your plans to visit.

You finally got some time off, and it was the only chance you’d get to see him. So when all the hotels in the area were fully booked you were not about to give up. And….your brother’s place had a perfectly good couch available, right?

He was reluctant at first, but after much pleading, he finally agreed.

On one condition.

Stay away from Toby.

You figured he was just being overprotective. It was kind of sweet, but he’d never been that adamant about you not talking to someone before. There must have been something seriously messed up with the guy. And to be perfectly honest, it made you second guess whether you’d actually go through with the trip out there.

But you already bought the plane ticket, and you couldn’t let that money go to waste.

So now you sat in the passenger seat of your brother's truck, the two of you making idle chit chat as he drove you back to his place from the airport.

He talked about school, the classes he was taking, what parties he’d been going to, and fraternities he’d been considering joining. That last part earned him some of your teasing about becoming a beer pong loving, “Frat Bro”.

Only after a few beats of silence, you decided to ask him something that had been bugging you since your arrival.

“Your roommate knows I’m staying at your place, right?”

It was a simple enough question. The last thing you wanted was to intrude on someone else’s living space after all.

You saw your brother grip the steering wheel harder. “Yeah. Toby should know you’re coming.” His response was curt and lacking his previous joyful tone.

“You two fighting or something?”

Your brother sighed. “No just,” He paused for a moment, and glanced at you. “He’s been acting weirder than usual.”

“Weird how?”

He didn’t say anything for a while, instead mulling over his choice of words. Not wanting to scare you, but still wanting to give you a heads up of the situation. “He’s been talking to himself. A lot.”

“That’s not that bad. Lots of people do that.” You don’t know why you felt the need to defend a person you hadn’t met yet.

Another pause. This one is longer than before.

“You haven’t heard what he’s been saying.”

______________________________________________________________

The road ahead was dark, lit up by the dim headlights of the car. The only thing out here now was trees, broken up by the occasional house. It was definitely far from campus.

The driveway was gravel, the truck rocking back and forth from the potholes and uneven terrain, finally coming to a stop in front of the house. Painted a dull plain white, one story, rather small, but it would do. It’s not like you were expecting a mansion.

After the car came to a stop, you grabbed your luggage from the backseat, following your brother to the front door where he quickly unlocked it.

The living room was sparsely decorated, with an old brown couch in the center, a small television and a coffee table littered with cans and half finished drinks.

It completely lacked a homey vibe. Definitely felt like a typical bachelor pad. You nudged his shoulder. “I love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Hey, I’m not majoring in interior design.” Your brother shot back, beginning to walk away past the kitchen, calling out to you. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

Your eyebrows furrowed with a look of disappointment. “Already? I thought we’d, like…. watch TV or something?”

“Next time don’t get such a late flight.” His face stretched into a yawn. “There’s plenty of blankets in the closet. Try not to make too much noise.” Disappearing behind the door of his bedroom, he left you standing in the room alone with your bags.

Time for bed I guess.

You sprawled yourself out on the couch, placing a pillow on the armrest, and rolled out the fuzzy blanket you’d found over your body. You turned to face the front door. The room was pitch black, with a few beams of moonlight split up by the venetian blinds.

You picked up your phone from the coffee table by your side, figuring you could watch a few videos before you fell asleep.

The screen lit up, temporarily blinding you before your eyes adjusted. Mindlessly, you scrolled through youtube to find a thumbnail that would spark any interest.

You were about to click one, when you heard someone at the front door. Your eyes widened briefly, and you quickly shut your phone off. You don’t know why. It wasn’t like you were a kid and your mom was coming into your room to see if you were actually asleep. But it felt like you needed to shut your eyes.

So you did.

The door opened slowly, whoever it was trying to remain undetected.

However, the scent that followed gave them away immediately. You actually had to stop yourself from reacting. It was a mixture of BO, dirt, and something else. Something dead.

Without even having to look, you knew it was Toby.

Footsteps, careful and calculated. The floorboards creaking.

You waited for him to walk by, expecting him to go to his room so you could continue playing on your phone.

But he didn’t.

The movements stopped halfway through, and you heard him, on the balls of his feet, making his way over to the couch you were on.

The fuck?

You felt your throat dry up. You wanted to swallow down your nerves, but you couldn’t react. You had to continue pretending, right?

You could hear him, his voice low and soft, like velvet. A boyish tone, the occasional word being broken up by some kind of stutter, muttering things you couldn’t make out.

He stopped when he got to your side, standing right in front of your face.

If you opened your eyes right now you’d probably see him peering down. His jeans dirty and torn, honey brown stare filled with curiosity, looking at the glimpses of your curves that peaked through the blanket on top of you.

A hand reached out.

Cold, yet somehow clammy… texture rough and calloused.

He was touching you.

He was touching your face.

Don’t move. Don’t you dare even flinch.

“M-must be the ssss-sister…”

That was the first clear sentence you could understand.

He retracted his hand. But you could still hear him, the heavy breathing.

His whispering.

“Soft”

Then he left.

Only afterwards did you realize you’d been holding your breath.

______________________________________________________________

“You look awful.” Your brother commented when he saw you the next morning.

It was true that you barely slept that night, made obvious by the bags under your eyes, and the change in your complexion. The interaction with the stranger, the one you’d been warned of, had plagued your mind, stirring up thoughts that kept you awake.

You grabbed a coffee mug, pouring yourself a glass, before joining your brother at the kitchen table.

From this angle, you had a clear view of the hallway. There were three doors, one must have led to the bathroom, and the other remaining two were the bedrooms.

You only stared at one of the doors though. The one leading to Toby’s room.

You knew, at some point he’d emerge and you’d finally be able to put a face to the name. A face to the hand that touched you.

For a moment, you wondered if you should tell your brother what happened. He’d probably flip out, maybe even confront the man.

So, despite your better judgment, you decided to keep it to yourself.

He only touched your face. Sure, it was creepy as hell, but you didn’t want to cause a fight during your vacation.

Your brother clapped his hands together, getting your attention.

“So listen!” He grinned widely. “We gotta plan out the strategy for tonight.”

“Strategy?” You asked hesitantly.

“Yeah strategy. There’s a party I want to go to. Kappa Alpha is hosting it.”

You tsked, sipping your coffee. “You realize I don’t know anything about the frats here. Is that like… a popular one or?”

He nodded. “Yeah it is. I’ve been trying to get into this one for a while now, so getting the invite is a big deal.”

You frowned. You were already so tired, and the idea of going to a kegger was not exactly on your ‘to do’ list. But it was important to him. So you complied.

“Okay. What time does it-”

A door opened. You stopped talking.

Your eyes widened to look over towards the sound.

Toby was up.

The first thing you noticed was a mop of dark brown hair, unkempt, with curls that went in every direction. It was slightly greasy too, he clearly hadn’t showered in a while. There was light stubble on his jawline, and his skin was a sickly, almost gray color. A snake bite graced his lower lip, and there were a few more pieces of metal sticking out the cartilage of his ears.

He shuffled forward, looking tired, still in a pair of plaid green pajama bottoms and a t-shirt with little alien faces on them.

Once he made it into the kitchen, Toby finally glanced over. You looked away immediately, embarrassed that you were caught staring.

He was handsome. You hated to admit it. But he was. You pushed the thought out of your head, reminding yourself of who he was.

“Muh-morning….” He croaked out.

Your brother gave a little nod, just enough to acknowledge him, turning back to you while Toby started toasting a poptart.

“It starts at 9, but we should show up at 10 o'clock. I don’t want to look too eager.”

“Whuh-what starts at 9?” Toby interjected.

Both you and your brother looked at him, before nervously meeting each other's gaze.

“Oh uh!” Your brother stammered. “Just another party.” He motioned over to you with his thumb. “This is my sister, (Y/N), by the way.”

Toby’s eyes bore into yours. You swallowed, trying to give him a polite, reassuring smile.

“Nice to meet you…. Toby, right?”

You acted unsure. Like you didn’t know his name by heart. Like you hadn’t had your brother vent to you about him for hours over the phone.

“Yuh-yeah. That’s right.” He looked back at your brother. “Is the puh-party tonight?”

“Yeah it’s at a frat house. Did you…” He hesitated, before finally asking him. “Want to come?”

Toby bit his poptart, shrugging his shoulders. “I've guh-got nothing better tuh-to do.” The twitching man looked back at you, wiping some crumbs from his lip. He didn’t have emotion behind his eyes, just a weird intense focus on your face.

You pretended to be unbothered.

It didn’t work.

He noticed.

And he liked the way you squirmed.

______________________________________________________________

Toby stayed in his room the rest of the day. Occasionally going into the kitchen, grabbing a snack, usually some kind of junk food, before he’d scurry back into his little cave.

You started getting ready as soon as the sun went down. It’d been a while since you’d been to a party and you wanted to look your best. Or look like you got a full 8 hours of sleep at the very least.

Toby said he’d meet you guys there. Saying something about how he needed ‘to take care of something first’. No one questioned him. Both you and your brother glad not to have to share a car ride with him.

Loud bumping music, the kind that shook a house and pounded in your chest, enveloped you when you walked inside the frat house.

Flashing lights, a crowd in the middle of the dancefloor jumping up and down. The air was hot from too many people in a room at once. You could barely move through them all to get to the bar.

God you were going to need a drink to get through this.

Maybe even a couple.

Especially after your brother left you alone to go mingle.

One tequila shot, then two maybe three rum and cokes later. You didn’t even know how long you’d been there. Time seemed to freeze. There was only the music, only the dancing, only the bodies moving against you.

You felt hot. Your cheeks burned, and it wasn’t just from the temperature of the room anymore. The room spinned a little when you walked forward. Not enough to consider yourself completely wasted though. But enough to feel…. Friendlier.

More social.

Less inhibited.

Numb.

After a lot of struggling, you made your way to the back of the room.

You leaned against a wall, catching your breath, holding a red solo cup in your hand. You could hear people trying to hold conversations by shouting over the music.

And there were plenty of people making out. In fact, you’d say the majority of people were just straight up groping each other.

It made you a little jealous if you were being honest with yourself.

You looked around, wondering if maybe you could find someone cute. You didn’t intend on getting lucky or anything, but it would sure beat just standing there like an idiot. When was the last time you even kissed somebody?

Finally, you locked on to someone across the room. Someone with honey brown eyes. Someone familiar.

Toby.

He grinned when your eyes met. It was the first time you’d seen him do that. Large toothy canine’s, that bandage on his cheek shifting slightly.

Oh god you felt your heart flutter.

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. There was something wrong with him. Your brother didn’t like him. Nobody did.

He creeped you out.

He didn’t shower.

He smelled like death.

You listed the reasons out, and damn if there weren’t a lot of them. But in the end it didn’t matter. In the end, it was painfully, woefully, obvious what was going to happen.

And you were already walking over there.

You slithered over to his side, sweating, peering up at him through your eyelashes. Trying to look cute. Desirable.

It was working.

He could’ve eaten you up if you gave him the chance.

But you didn’t know that.

You fiddled with the end of your skirt, the jacket you originally wore tied around your waist. A flush on your cheeks, you let your hand gently touch his shoulder.

“H-hey… glad to see you made it.”

He tilted his head to the side, leaning down to hear you better. It made your stomach stir with excitement, he made you feel small kneeling down like that. But you liked it. Liked that he was paying attention to you, and only you.

“Whuh-what did you say?” His breath was hot on your cheek. Using the loud music as an excuse to get closer, to touch your skin. Making the hair on your neck stick up.

You breathed heavily in his ear on purpose. “I said, I’m glad you made it.”

Toby’s lips parted, not responding at first, but not moving away either. “Oh? Yuh-yeah?” He sounded amused, voice lowering an octave. “Excited to suh-see little ole’ muh-me?”

It was kind of a stupid, cheesy thing to say. Like he didn’t really know how to flirt, but maybe saw a couple movies and memorized the lines. But it somehow worked for him.

“Oh, I’m sure nothing about you is little.”

Why did you say that?

Why?

It just came out naturally. Oh god, now your face felt flushed from embarrassment.

You felt him touch the side of your face. He chuckled, a low rumble in his chest, it sounded heavenly.

“Yuh-you know, I’m having trouble huh-hearing you.” He paused looking around, making sure no one was watching. You wondered why.

“Do you want to go somewhere more private?”

That was enough to make heat travel between your thighs.

Fuck.

One meek nod from you was all he needed, before grabbing your wrist tightly.

Too tight, like he was unaware he could hurt you. Or maybe he liked causing a little pain?

He dragged you upstairs, practically lifting you with one arm, you felt like you were gliding over the steps. The muscles of his arms barely flexing under that hoodie of his, as if you were weightless.

He was strong.

You both traveled through the hallway, careful not to bump into anyone loitering in the hall. Some of the other party goers shooting you looks, but they were mostly directed towards Toby. They weren’t judging you or anything. In fact, they looked worried, maybe even a little scared. You started to wonder more about him. What was his reputation like if this was everyone’s reaction to him? Or perhaps he really just looked that scary.

So why did he turn you on?

He pushed you into an unoccupied room and flicked the light switch on.

You barely registered him locking the door behind him.

With one shove of his palm he pushed you backwards onto the bed. Your arms flailed a bit out of instinct, falling down on the mattress with an ‘oof’.

You swallowed thickly, watching him eye the way your legs had parted slightly. Your skirt hiking up dangerously on your thighs. You had to fight the urge to close them.

“Yuh-you look scared.” That velvet, sweet, voice of his was twisted by something sick.

“Are you?” His head cocked to the side, a wolfish grin on his face.

“Yes.” Was your reply. You didn’t feel like you could lie to him now. Feeling too exposed to even think straight.

He licked his lips, slowly approaching you. His fingers danced across your shoulders, traveling down your arms, sending goosebumps down your spine. They were cold and calloused, just like you remembered from the night before.

“Then whuh-why did you follow me here?” He cupped the side of your face, his thumb grazing across your bottom lip. You were going to respond, but he quickly shoved his finger in your mouth, gagging you. He wanted you to suck on them, but he didn’t communicate that well. “Why duh-did you….approach me?”

You let your tongue glide over his finger. His eyes narrowed, watching your face, before he started talking to himself. “Fuckin’ stuh-stupid.”

You paused. Was he talking about you?

“Should be whuh-working tonight…” He muttered. “Target just downstairs…. Ssss-so easy…this better be worth it…..” Toby chuckled to himself like he just told a joke.

You didn’t understand what was going on. Should you just ignore him and continue?

Toby retracted his hand from your mouth.

“Sss-so pretty….” He pushed your back onto the bed, crawling over you, his broad chest heaving, face pink and eyes lidded. Pupils dilated with lust. “So…. suh-soft….(Y/N)....”

You shivered when he said your name like that, feeling your panties dampen even more than before. Especially when he started running a large hand up your inner thigh.

You let out a shaky breath.

“Yuh-you like it when I touch you…. I know you do…” Your eyes flickered down at him, letting him continue his ramblings, Toby’s face breaking into another evil looking smile. “Luh-letting me touch you last nuh-night…. Pretending to be asleep.”

Your stomach dropped. You couldn’t hide it in your face, he fucking knew.

He fucking knew the whole time.

He burst out laughing at your expression. “Yuh-you’re still not even telling me to stuh-stop now!” Toby gripped your hip with one of his hands, lifting up the hem of your shirt with the other.

Before you knew it, he tossed the fabric over to the corner.

Your bra was next.

In any other circumstances you might’ve found it cute, or funny, when he struggled with the clasp. But something told you pointing it out to him wouldn’t have been a good idea.

He groaned at the sight of your exposed torso, immediately diving into your tits. Your nipples perked at the attention.

He was right. You weren’t stopping him. Your body screamed at you to. The smell of dirt and grime, of all things dead and decaying, it permeated off of him the more he touched you.

Toby’s mouth latched on to your left breast, the other gripped tightly in his hand. You knew you’d have bruises there tomorrow. You didn’t care.

He licked and nipped at the tender flesh, the swell of your tits heaving, your head thrown back and lips parted, letting out soft moans here and there.

A noticeable bulge grinded against your leg, as he huffed, humping himself against you like a dog.

After a while, he finally lifted his head up.

Toby looked you in the eye, grinning, licking your nipple teasingly one last time, before his attention moved to your skirt.

His hands searched your sides for a zipper, he grunted out of irritation when he couldn’t find it immediately.

You took the opportunity to gently put a hand over his, guiding it to where it was. “Here.” You said softly. “Let me help you.”

His eyes snapped up to your face when you touched him.

Immediately, his lips crashed onto yours. Needy, desperate, quickly shoving his tongue down your throat. You kissed back, swirling your tongue around his, ignoring the weird taste of metal coming from his mouth. His breath was hot and heavy, kisses sloppy. You doubted he got much practice, but he seemed to be learning quickly.

He made up for it with enthusiasm.

Finally pulling away, you both unzipped your skirt together. Lifting your hips off the bed, you shimmyed them down your legs, Toby watching in fascination.

“I’m guh-gonna fuck you.” He stated matter of factly. Then he whispered something that made your blood run cold.

“...Fuck you bloody.”

Shit this guy was scary.

In a few seconds, he ripped his hoodie off, along with his shirt. His chest was heavily scarred, a noticeable slash starting from his left side over to his shoulder, and a dark happy trail rising up from the waistband of his jeans.

You didn’t comment on it, but it was worrisome. You could only imagine what would cause someone to get hurt so badly and so often.

That said, Toby was definitely toned. A bit sickly looking, but his muscles had just a hint of a six pack formed. Maybe he did more exercise than you initially thought.

He kicked off his jeans next, unceremoniously pulling his boxers down, revealing himself to you. Lazily, he stroked himself, a thick layer of precum smearing down his shaft. It was long, veiny, but not very girthy. A flushed red tip, looking painfully hard.

You pulled down your panties slowly, already soaked, and ready. The anticipation was killing you, but you wanted to make him wait for it. His Adam's apple bobbed watching you, and you liked reveling in his stares.

“Guh-gonna split you in two…” Toby murmured, to no one in particular.

He hooked his arm under one of your legs, his body shivering with need, pulling your hips against him. He glided his shaft over your cunt, rubbing your clit slowly. He noticed you tense, how you whimpered slightly, and how your slick covered him more at the action. Looking in awe like it was some revelation to him.

Toby licked his lips, before finally enveloping himself in your heat.

It was quick. Like he was slamming a drawer shut, but he immediately bottomed out. You gritted your teeth in pain, before crying out when he started viciously pounding into you.

It fucking hurt. It hurt a lot.

“Shit..! Tuh-tight!”

Obviously, your muscles had tensed around him, feeling overwhelmed by the sudden fullness of his cock stuffing you. Unable to adjust.

You whimpered when he didn’t let up, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. A dull ache between your legs as he continued thrusting. The wet sound of skin slapping together coming from where the two of you were joined, burying his face in your neck, breathing in your scent.

Toby inhaled sharply, before you felt his mouth open wide.

Teeth broke through your skin instantly, a warm liquid dripping down your neck.

You screamed.

You screamed louder than you ever have in your life.

You screamed bloody fucking murder.

“Toby!” Clawing at his back, trying to get him to stop, you started crying. “Toby! Please!”

Luckily for you, he released his jaw to call out “(Y-Y/N)!” Not understanding your cries weren’t from pleasure.

It egged him on, encouraged him. His pelvis slamming into yours, with no let up, your tits bouncing at the force. Itching his fingers to your clit, he rubbed it in harsh circular movements, making you tighten around him.

You babbled nonsense. Finally some of the pain subsiding for pleasure, and maybe it was the lingering effects of alcohol, or the slight blood loss, but you felt a buzzing in your head. Basically incoherent, the faster he went. The brutal, bruising speed.

The way he gripped your breast, the way his hand remained on your pearl, trying his best to get you to finish, but not quite knowing how.

Something started to build.

More and more.

Hearing him growl, pant, like an animal. It was doing something to you.

You moaned loudly, wrapping your legs around him. The coil snapping, muscle spasming, pulling his cock in deeper, triggering his own climax.

His hips stuttered against you, letting out a gasp. A warmth filling you, Toby completely emptying himself inside with a deep groan, eyes rolling back in his head.

He gave a few sloppy, slow thrusts, before finally rolling off, and onto the bed next to you.

His cum leaking out of your cunt and staining the sheets.

Everything went blank for a moment, realization only just settling in. The gravity of the situation, the blood on your neck.

And an arm wrapped around your shoulders, drawing you close.

“I knew you’d be worth the truh-trouble.”

#creepypasta #toby rogers #ticci toby x reader #my writing #ticci toby smut #creepypasta smut #fanfiction #ticci toby x you #ticci toby #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby x reader smut

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textmel8r · 25 days

Text

[ DRABBLE ] 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 ! ( fourth installment ) in which you are forced to plan a corporate event with your office enemy .

୨୧˚ part; one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight.

୨୧˚ incl; kento nanami

୨୧˚ cw; smut (?) , dub-con , alcohol consumption , profanity

( flashback; ) Wreaths and holly plants decked the usually barren, white walls of the seventh floor office level, and soft Christmas music looped on the overhead speaker in attempts to induce a jolly spirit. Colleagues conversed, discussing plans for December break over plastic cups of spiked cider. Everyone seemed in high morale; even Gakuganji, who donned a cheaply made Santa suit, still wrinkled from its time being folded in a package. Your first ever office party was about as much as you expected–not the worst time, but certainly not the best time, either. It didn’t help that you were still technically the “newbie” despite having been a member of the company for a few months at that point. Man, it was hard to make friends in an office full of stoic suits.

You remain near a far wall, slumped against the oversized copy machine with a drink in hand. Nobody had even appreciated your dress; a modest crimson thing with white, cottony trims to mimic Old Saint Nick. Figures. You pout into your cup, knocking back a heavy swig.

“Woah-ho, you sure went all out.”

The dialogue was unexpected and you sputter on a swallow of liquor, startled. A preemptive hand pats your back, something like a mother trying to burp a newborn. You swallow your spit at last, recollect yourself, and whip your head up to follow the source of the voice that nearly killed you. There stood a man tall and spindly in his stature with the most beautifully long, goldish hair drawn back into a ponytail. He is dressed down, wearing a simple pair of dark jeans and a sweater in favor of the suits nearly everyone else sported.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on ladies,” comes your meager reply. Your free hand smooths down the skirt of your dress, and you clear your throat. “You scared the shit out of me.”

The man smiles apologetically. “Ah, I noticed. My bad.”

“It’s okay. Just… just don’t do it again.”

“Roger that.” He has his own drink, and you manage to catch a glimpse of it over the rim of the solo cup. It’s a dark, murky color, much more amberish than the cider that was being served. “I haven’t seen your face around before, it made me curious.”

“I secured a position here during spring.” Now that you think about it, he was unfamiliar to you as well. You would have definitely remembered that ponytail. “Are you–I mean, do you work in this building?”

He shakes his head. “Nah, they got me holed up in the Shibuya location,” he winks, leaning in. “I make it a habit to come to all the office parties, though. I can’t resist a little holiday cheer.” Two bony knuckles move to brush delicately against the trim of your dress. “I’m Haruta Shigemo, and you’re…?”

“Not interested.”

Shigemo juts his bottom lip out. “C’mon, don’t be like that. I can’t know your name?”

Holding an index finger to your chin, you pretend to think about it. “What will you give me in return?”

A smirk worms its way onto Shigemo’s thin lips. He angles his hip toward you and pulls up the hem of his knitted sweater, gesturing to the uncanny flask half sticking out of his jeans’ pocket. “I brought good stuff,” he sings quietly, away from prying ears, and suddenly you understand the reason for his drink being a couple shades too dark. “And I’m good at sharing.”

Yeah, maybe it wasn’t the wisest decision to accept unknown liquor from a virtual stranger, you should’ve really considered all of the possible outcomes to this situation. You’d already had a little over two cups of warmed cider, rotating on the axis between tipsy and full on drunkenness. Your foggy brain didn’t care much to think about how some of this so-called “good stuff” would only lead to an inevitable, total inebriation. Or, a less likely but just as concerning scenario, Shigemo’s flask could be chock full of poison. Either way, you were itching to turn a less-than-okay party experience into a fun one.

“Y/n L/n,” you said finally, and Shigemo looks pleased. Strategically as to not give away the secret, he stood before you and widened his shoulders to create a makeshift cover while he poured a solid few glugs from flask to your cup. Immediately, the booze reeks of something strong like industrial glass cleaner. Your nose wrinkles as the stench singes the hair from your nostrils. “Smells fucking rancid.”

“Maybe you’re just not used to top shelf liquor?” Was that a dig? You’ll show him that you’re plenty accustomed with expensive booze (you’re not. not at all).

So you drank it. The taste of piss mixed with vinegar nearly made you retch, but after your second glass and an assload of determination, it started to taste… good? Maybe this Shigemo guy wasn’t too bad. The rest of the night was a blur of silly dancing to dumb Christmas songs, ugly laughing at the horse calendars pinned to the wall, and… well, the bathroom.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Your tone was breathy, a cross between giggly and pure apprehension. There in the men’s restrooms, you were perched up on the sink counter. That festive dress was slipped up around your hips by two slender, greedy hands, and a tiny waist worked between your thighs. Shigemo kissed you into silence.

“Why not?” He kisses you again, fumbling with his belt buckle. He’s nipping down your neck, whispering, “The risk is so fucking hot.”

And oh goodness, was he a man on a mission. Tearing the collar of your dress down beneath your breasts, fingering holes into your sheer stockings, stuffing a fist inside your panties… You were in no state of coherence to stop him.

Had it not been a professional obligation on his part to attend this year’s Christmas party, Nanami finds himself fantasizing about all the ways he’d much rather be spending this brisk winter evening. Probably soaking in his tub, nursing a glass of red wine and working on that book he’d been putting off thanks to the ungodly amount of work on his plate as of late. Then, he’d exercise those cooking skills he seldom had time to use and prepare a meal that had much more to offer than these feeble, sugary snacks at this party. Seriously? Cookies and cake? They were adults for goodness sake.

The floor was stuffy and claustrophobia-inducing. Everywhere he turned, Nanami was accidentally bumping somebody with his shoulder or his elbow or some other limb he lost track of. And the conversations were abysmal. Nanami has always been good with his words—he had to be in a profession like this—but Christ, talking to his zombies-for-coworkers was a worse fate than death itself. They drone on about office assignments, about deadlines and paperwork with no hint of light behind their eyes. Is that what he looks like to others? A worrisome thought, that Nanami was just as much of a slave to the corporate world as they were.

The deep train of thought is cut off before it spirals when red catches his eye. A dress red as rubies sticks out like a sore thumb among the sea of blacks and blues and grays of suits. You’re dressed in a silly get up, like those Mrs. Claus actresses in the malls that take pictures with children. Y/n L/n, Nanami recalls your name. He knows you, the newest employee in the office. He’s had very few chances to speak with you, and when he did it mostly consisted of him relaying orders from Mr. Gakuganji. But even in those brief instances, Nanami saw it plain as day: you were different. The first lively fool he’d seen in a while, eyes still glinting with the prospects of optimism and naive hope for the future. Foolish indeed, but he couldn’t bring himself to hate it. You were a breath of fresh air, but Nanami knew that it was only a matter of time before you were beaten and battered into another mindless cog in the corporation's machine.

A strange urge bloomed within the hollows of the man's chest; an urge that told him to initiate communication with you. Perhaps just a "hello" at the very least, seeing as you were his direct subordinate. It was the polite thing to do, right? Or maybe that was just a weak excuse he convinced himself of because Nanami didn't want to admit that you intrigued him in every sense of the word. You would provide an interesting back and forth, something Nanami desperately craved in the throes of this tedious party.

Golden eyes scanned the room. But no matter how long and meticulous he stared into the mass of bodies, Nanami could not locate the shade of red that had incited this search to begin with. There was a muted pit of disappointment the settled heavy in his stomach when he came to the realization that you simply were gone. He didn't doubt the probability that you ditched, no, he'd commend you for doing something he could not. Nanami sighs under his breath, lets his shoulders droop, and takes the last swig of his drink (water of course, the spiked cider was much too sweet for his tastes) before maneuvering through the crowd towards the bathroom. A five minute breather alone in a stall sounded like Heaven on Earth.

He shouldered through the metallic door, eyes closed, fingers tugging the knot of his too-tight tie as he stepped inside the restrooms. Only the sound of a feminine gasp was what pried his heavy eyelids open.

All three bodies froze: Nanami by the entrance with a slack jaw and wide eyes, a man he vaguely recalls from the Shibuya district stood between a pair of opened legs with his jeans tugged down to mid-thigh, and you. You, with your stupidly red dress in disarray, the neckline dipped below your bare breasts and the lower hem bunched up around the curve of your waistline. There you were, sitting up on the sink completely exposed... God, that bastard's hand was still buried down the front of your panties.

As if time suddenly unfroze, said bastard rips his hands away from your most delicate parts in favor of pulling his jeans back up. Nanami blinks once before cocking his head to the side at the unnatural speed of light, focusing on the faux plant in the corner, the uneven tiles beneath his dress shoes, the cracks in the eggshell paint on the wall... anything besides your indecent self.

"Whoops, would ya' look at that?" Shibuya fucker laughs halfheartedly as he fumbles with the button on his jeans, flustered and giggly. "Guess we got a little carried away there, my bad man!" He slinks towards the door, towards Nanami, but pauses. "Hey, you're Nanami Kento, right?"

"Yes." It's a cold response. Nanami doesn't look to the other man, instead he keeps his eyes trained down as to not get another eyeful of you.

"Aha right! Well," Shibuya fucker sweatdrops, clasping a hand over Nanami's shoulder. "Let's keep this a secret from the higher ups?"

The elder grimaces. "Please don't touch me."

The hand is ripped away. Shibuya fucker shows his palms in sort of a defensive stance as more anxious chuckles erupt from his throat. "Good seeing you, then!" And with that, he slips out of the bathroom leaving you high and dry. The prick didn't even bother to stay and help you get recollected.

"I'm decent." You sound meek, a tone Nanami has yet to hear from you thus far. It sounds small. Humiliated. "You... you can look now."

So he does, only to regret it. There you are, hopped off the sink and standing before him in a pitiful display. Your slender neck was tainted with love marks, darkened bruises bit into flesh with little artistry. Your stockings were shredded carelessly, bits of plumpness squishing through the holes. Your hair was mussed, forehead sweaty, lipstick smeared and... why was Nanami so irritated by the sight?

"What..." He starts, trying to find the words. "What is the matter with you?"

You gawk. "Nothing."

"Nothing." Nanami scoffs, hands pressed to his hips. "How careless could you possibly be? Fucking at a work event? I mean, for fuck's sake Y/n."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Your words are clipped. As if you have any right to catch an attitude with him right now.

"Sorry doesn't change the fact that you..." His sentence trails off into a tiny, frustrated growl scratching from the back of his tongue. The man takes his nose bridge between his thumb and forefinger. "The door was unlocked. Anyone could've walked in and saw you like that!" Exposed. Bare. Vulnerable.

"I don't know what else you want to hear other than sorry." Nanami doesn't miss the microscopic vocal crack in the word sorry. You hug yourself tight, forearms crossed over your chest. Your shoulders stutter, and your lips are sucked between your teeth to hide the wobble in them. "I'm... sorry."

You dress strap hangs off your shoulder. Nanami can't peel his gaze away from the strip of fabric. He takes a slow step in, gauging your reaction to it. You don't show any signs of discomfort, so he advances closer. The red strap is dainty against his rough fingers, so he cautions himself to be extra gentle when slipping it back up into place.

"Thanks," you sniffle.

He shushes you. Nanami isn't done yet, far from it. You still look disheveled and sad and weepy and he can't fucking stomach it for some ungodly reason. So he gets to work, first wetting a paper towel in the bathroom sink—the same one you'd been getting groped on a mere few minutes prior—and gingerly swipes away the smeared makeup from your kiss-swollen lips. Then, he's taking it upon himself to straighten out your hair. You let him stroke down your baby hairs without pushback, limply letting him rearrange your appearance as if you were some sort of life sized doll.

Nanami steps back to admire his work. The evidence of foreplay was nearly gone, save for the dreadful state of your stockings and those ugly teeth-shaped indents down the side of your neck. “Take those stockings off before you leave the bathroom,” he utters. “They look…” Slutty is the word that comes to mind first, but he’d never say it aloud. So he leaves it at that.

You’re looking at him with an unreadable expression. If anything, Nanami discerns a little concern in the way your brows turn upwards. “Are you going to tell anyone about this?”

He wants to oh so bad. To be the lame tattletale and snitch to Mr. Gakuganji because fraternization is wrong, and fraternization in the workplace is double wrong. “I should report you,” there’s a pregnant pause, “but I won’t.”

Why? He asks himself.

You seemed to have read his thoughts. “Why?”

Nanami doesn’t have an answer to that. Where is this slice of mercy coming from? All he knows for certain is that staring at the trembling woman in front of him any longer will have him blow a fuse. “Go home, Y/n.” It’s the last thing he offers before turning on his heel and walking back out into the Christmas function, swallowing down each and every confusing feeling swirling around his brain.

likes and reblogs are appreciated !

tags . • @justbelljust @amnmich @ti-mame @silkija @maddietries @vyntagei @ebrysteria @aesukuni

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shadowdaddies · 6 months

Note

I adore your stories, I would love if you wrote a story with Azriel and reader, where she is touch starved, and has been her whole life as she came from a bad family and then she and Az are in a relationship and he figures it out, so makes sure he’s always holding her hand or touching her leg etc. thank you!!

thank you!💜 tbh if I was with Az I'd make him carry me everywhere, I'd cling on like a spider monkey

Evening Admissions

Azriel x Reader fluff

Leaning back from the mirror, you took in your reflection, smoothing the loose curls of your hair as you grinned at the new dress you donned. It was your first starfall in the Night Court, and with your mate, Azriel.

The bond had snapped months ago, both of you recognizing that you were in fact, mates. You were new to the Inner Circle, just settling into Velaris as your home, and the both of you had decided to take your time to get to know each other before accepting the bond.

Practically glowing with joy as you thought through your plans for the evening, you bounced towards the door when you heard Azriel’s knock. You had to bite back a giggle as you thought about his reaction when you would tell him that you were ready to accept the bond. Opening the door, Azriel’s hazel eyes locked with yours, before slowly dragging down your body, those eyes darkening as he took in your appearance.

He cleared his throat in an attempt to gather his composure. “You look beautiful,” he rasped. With a smile, you took his arm with no hesitation. Until now, you had held back your urges to touch your mate, self conscious about how desperately you longed for his warmth. But tonight, you were ready to commit, all that mattered in the world being your mate here with you.

Azriel blinked at the contact as you looped an arm through his, leaning on his shoulder as he guided you downstairs and out the door. Once you were outside, he scooped you into his arms, your body curling into his as he shot to the skies. “You look very nice too, by the way,” you murmured into his ear, admiring the blush that dusted his cheeks at your comment.

When you landed at the House of Wind, Azriel tracked how reluctant you were to let go of him, enjoying the feel of his hands sliding down your waist as you smoothed your hair from the flight.

Your smile lit up the room as you entered, grasping Azriel’s hand in yours as your other hand wrapped around his bicep. Feyre caught your eye from where she stood, waving before coming over to greet you. “You look gorgeous,” she gushed, causing you to blush under the High Lady’s praise as you reciprocated her compliments, clinging to Azriel throughout the conversation.

Azriel led you through the crowd as the both of you said your hellos to everyone, Cassian giving you a knowing grin when you leaned into Azriel, your thumb brushing his arm affectionately as he spoke. “One moment,” Azriel interrupted, pulling you away from the conversation and out onto the balcony.

“Love, is something wrong? You have been clinging to me all night.” At your concerned expression, Azriel clarified, “not that I don’t like it. I love having you near me, I just want to ensure that you feel comfortable tonight.”

Sincerity shone in those hazel eyes, comforting you as you took a deep breath. “Nothing is wrong, Azriel. It’s exactly the opposite, actually,” you admitted with a small laugh. Your mate studied you, slight confusion on his face as you continued. “I feel safe around you, something I haven’t felt in a long time. As drawn as I have felt to you, I held back from touching you too much until I was sure.”

Azriel went wholly still, his only movement the visible swallow that he took before he dared the question. “What are you sure of?”

Your own nerves conquered you in that moment, as you tore your hands from Azriel’s for the first time that night. “I’m sure of you. I want to accept the mating bond, whenever you are ready.”

No sooner had the words left your mouth than stars began shooting across the sky, illuminating Azriel’s face as he smiled at you, unabashed like never before. He was aglow, both with starlight and joy as his hands found yours, pulling you close. A scarred hand threaded through your hair, tilting your head back as he grinned down at you. “From the moment I met you, I’ve been dying to hear those words.” He pulled you in for a kiss, his touch lighting you on fire as you fell for him completely.

Arms wrapped around your waist, supporting you as you finally pulled back, tears lining your eyes as you looked at Azriel in a new light - your mate, your forever. Broad hands spun you around, holding your back close to his chest as you watched the stars, Azriel watching half-heartedly as he kissed your neck, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear.

When the stars finally stopped, Azriel scooped you into his arms once more, carrying you through the threshold back into the house where your newfound family waited. His hands never left you, shadows twirling in your hair as he took a seat on the couch, pulling you into his lap. Rhys cocked an amused brow, to which you responded with a bashful grin, leaning into Azriel for security.

Your mate leaned close, his warm breath tickling your ear as he whispered to you, “would you like to tell them?”

A feline smirk graced your lips as you tilted his chin towards you. “I’ll give you the honors, mate.”

A low growl left him at the term of endearment - something you were sure you would have fun with when you both got home. Azriel turned to the expectant eyes of your family. “We are going to accept the mating bond.”

Cheers erupted, Rhys moving in search of drink to make a toast to the happy couple as Nesta squeezed your arm in quiet congratulations. Mor and Feyre were already planning your mating ceremony in the corner as you settled comfortably into Azriel’s chest, both of you only focused on each other and your future - a lifetime in his arms.

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bimbobaggins69 · 11 months

Text

wanna try something?

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

summary: you and Eddie have been dating for a few months on top of a year long fwb situation, and an even longer friendship. You’ve tried almost everything together, that is until you stumble upon the x rated section in family video and are instantly drawn to a tape of something you never thought you’d be into.

warnings: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, queer!eddie, mentions of steddie, small mention of internalized homophobia, no use of y/n, use of pet names: baby, princess, sweet girl etc.), oral (m receiving), anal play (m receiving).

notes: I have been wanting to write a fic about Eddie’s bussy forever so… when I got the urge I had to do it. Also, the pictures have almost nothing to do with this fic, aside from the vhs’s, believe it or not finding an aesthetic for eating ass is very difficult. Also also, thank you to my love @take-everything-you-can for beta reading <333

wc: 3.2k

The sound of lips smacking is all that can be heard in the empty air of Eddie’s trailer, the shitty horror movie playing in the background quickly forgotten and the booming sound coming from the speakers are quickly becoming white noise as you moan and pant into each other's mouths.

This was usually how it went; you’d both agree to have a “movie night” just to totally forget about said movie and go straight to attacking each other's lips while hands and mouths explore different body parts.

You’d both been together for 3 months now after a year of being friends with benefits and before that just childhood best friends.

It felt nice to have sex with someone you knew would never judge you or make you do things you didn’t want to, Eddie was so selfless not only in the bedroom but all the time, it’s one of the many things you adored about him.

The sex was mind blowing between you two, like you were made for each other. The first night you lost your virginity to Eddie he had looked over at you while trying to catch his breath to say “why haven’t we always been doing this?”

The truth is, you had more than friendly feelings for Eddie for years, but for most of his teens he was grappling with his sexuality, you were the only one he opened up to about it. He wasn’t sure if he was straight at all or even liked girls. He kept this a secret but the only crush Eddie had seemed to have on any girl was you, and since he felt like he couldn’t have you, he didn’t want any other. So, he decided to explore that other side of him.

But once you started to show interest in him. The longing stares, the way your eyes would flicker to his lips and the way you’d say his name, was all he needed to know you felt the same way.

So after a long night filled with sexual tension, Eddie made his move and kissed you, he took your virginity that night and it was the most mind blowing sex he’d ever had. He decided at that moment that sex is better with someone you love.

You’d both played stubborn for a year, never wanting to fully let your feelings be known, so you decided a friends with benefits situation would be best.

That was until Eddie couldn’t hold back his feelings any longer, he needed you to know he was madly in love with you and didn’t want anyone else, ever.

So now after a year of the dirtiest, raunchiest, roughest sex, there was pretty much nothing you both hadn’t done together, you were open minded to anything Eddie wanted to try with you: choking, hair pulling, some face smacking and him cuffing you to his bed, are just a few.

There really wasn’t anything Eddie could come to you with that you’d shoot down, giving him another reason to be head over heels about you.

But, you still felt like there were things you could improve on or maybe new things to be learned, so after one of your many solo trips to family video, you decided to check out the X rated section.

You looked both ways before quickly swinging the red velvet curtain open and quickly shutting it behind you, as if you were on some top secret mission.

Your fingertips glided along the numerous dirty videos, looking for anything that caught your eye.

You stopped abruptly, your fingertip halting on a tape that made your eyes widen and your thighs clench.

The title of the video made you scoff, ‘along comes likki’ with a very dirty picture of a man bent over and a girl's face shoved in his ass.

You and Eddie had never done ass stuff before and the thought of having him under your complete control, if even for a minute was making your panties dampen.

You wanted to give Eddie the same blissed out face the man on the cover had.

So you discreetly put your goonies tape over it and shoved them both under your arm.

You walk up to the register and it’s just your luck that Robin had taken her break and Steve was the one that would be ringing you up. You had known all about his and Eddie’s relationship, if you could even call it that. They had fucked and then after Steve had pushed Eddie away and told him that it would never happen again and that he wasn’t gay, even though Eddie had opened up to him and explained that he knew he liked men and women, told Steve it was called bisexuality and Steve seemed very interested in the prospect only to after push Eddie away and basically call him gay, totally negating everything they had opened up to each other about. It had definitely hurt him and you were there to pick up the pieces.

But you couldn’t be mad at Steve, you knew he was in a battle with his inner self, that he would hopefully one day come to terms with.

“You ready to check out?” The honey eyed boy says from behind the counter, totally knocking you out of your inner thoughts. Those same thoughts that made you forget what tape you had underneath your arm.

“Mhmm” is all you say as you grab the two tapes and slowly place them on the counter.

Your face grows hot with realization and now you wish the ground would swallow you up whole.

“You find everything good?” Steve says, trying to make conversation as he rings up the goonies, he sets it aside and before he goes to pick up the next video, he freezes and looks back up at you.

“Yeah, I did.” The words come out fast and jumbled as your eyes plead with him to just hurry up.

But of course to your dismay, Steve’s lips curl into a knowing smirk. He grabs the video and rings it up, “yeah, looks like it.” He says while holding the video up and shaking it as his eyebrows shoot up under his perfectly coiffed hair.

Nothing would or could ever embarrass you as much as this interaction.

Steve licks his lips and leans against the counter, “don’t worry honey, your secret is safe with me.” He says with a wink. You wanted to tell him “so is yours.” But you could never do that.

Especially not with the way you were nervously chewing at your lip.

Finally after paying, Steve handed you your bag but not before letting his fingers linger over yours for far too long.

“You have a great day, beautiful.” He says with the most lust filled eyes.

You weren’t sure if you were aroused or annoyed, maybe both? But he knew you and Eddie were together, so it was pretty uncool of him to flirt with you.

Then again, it’s Steve, doesn’t he flirt with everyone? It’s like his second language.

Once you make it into your bedroom, you lock your door and pop the video into your vhs player, grab the remote on your night stand and sit on the end of your bed, no one is home but you turn the volume down almost all the way, just in case.

The video starts out with some shitty plot and bad acting, so you fast forward until you find what you're looking for. Finally, you click the play button when you see a man sitting on the couch and a woman on her knees between his spread legs, he has his cock out and he’s hitting it against the woman’s tongue before she takes it in her mouth, she proceeds to choke, lick and suck on it. Eddie had always seemed to enjoy your blowjobs, but Jesus they were nothing like this.

She was using her hand to twist and suck, and spit was constantly falling from her mouth from deepthroating, it was too hot for you not to slip your fingers into your shorts and make yourself cum.

The woman lowered herself while the man spread his legs even wider, she sucked on his balls before licking lower and finally lapping up at his puckered hole, it immediately sent you over the edge.

The whole thing was so dirty and hot, you knew you had to try it on Eddie.

So that leads you to your forgotten movie, playing in the background while you straddle your boyfriend's lap. His hands grip at your waist and you can’t help but to rub your clothed core over the stiffness of his hard on, under the material of his rough jeans.

“Fuck, baby.” Eddie breathes out into the expanse of your neck as he sucks and kisses the tender area, after a particularly hard roll of your hips.

“I want you to strip for me, and then I wanna taste you.” He whispers into the shell of your ear, before taking your earlobe into his mouth and sucking.

“Actually Ed’s, wanna try something?” You boldly say as you bat your lashes down at the metalhead.

“Oh yeah? Well lay it on me princess.” He replies, sinking further into the cushions as he playfully taps his chest.

“Um, well…” you trail off, all the confidence seemingly evaporating from your body.

“C’mon sweet girl, you know you can tell me anything.” He softly says as he runs his ringed fingers over your cheek bone.

You decide it would be easier to show him what you want, so you mirror the position from the porno, getting on your knees and in between his spread legs.

“Mmm, you wanna suck my cock, is that it?” He smirks, while looking down at your glossy, lust filled eyes.

You don’t answer, instead you bring your shaky hands to undo his handcuff belt, but he instantly notices and takes your hands in his, he brings his chin down to his chest, trying to catch your eye.

“Baby, talk to me.” He says with concern as he pulls you from your knees to sit in his lap, his arms wrap around your waist as he kisses the top of your head.

“I um,” you start, not knowing how to put what you want into words but deciding to be truthful about it.

“Well okay, here’s the truth..” you take a deep breath before continuing “I stopped by family video the other day, and I was curious so I went to the adult section and I found a tape, I decided to rent it and well… it was really hot and I wanna try it on you.” You say while hiding your face in his chest.

His eyebrows shoot up under his bangs in intrigue.

“Well now you gotta tell me, baby.” He says before gently grabbing your chin with his fingers and finally looking into your eyes.

You swallow hard before you finally come out with it, “I wanna eat your ass.” You hate the way it sounds coming out of your mouth, which is exactly why you took so long to finally say it.

Eddie’s eyes widen, he’s in shock that you would even suggest it, he’s no stranger to it, but it just doesn’t seem like something chicks would be into.

All of his sexual encounters before you had been with men, but he’s always been a top, in other words he’s eaten plenty of ass but never had it given in return. Never had his ass played with at all.

But he would let you do whatever you wanted to him, without a doubt and hearing that something like that turns you on is making his cock painfully hard in his tight jeans.

“Fuck, you wanna give me a rim job, princess?” He breathily says, as if all the wind had been knocked out of him.

“Mmhm.” You say through your bitten lip.

“Get back on your knees for me, angel.” He says while patting the exposed flesh of your thigh.

You do as you’re told, shifting around to find a comfortable enough position.

“Good girl.” Eddie smiles down at you with his lust blown eyes, his dimples on full display as his smile causes light creases in his skin.

Eddie helps you remove his belt and jeans, pulling his jeans and checkered boxers down in one swoop and playfully kicking them off his feet, making you giggle before grabbing and pulling them off the rest of the way.

You move in closer, your hands rub up and down Eddie’s thighs as your eyes rake over his body, he looks so good, his bangs slightly sticking to his forehead from the growing heat in the trailer.

He’s looking down at you with so much love and lust, it makes your head spin.

You try your best to remember everything the woman was doing on the tape.

So you wrap your hand around Eddie’s hard, throbbing cock and stick your tongue out, giving it a few slaps against the pink wet muscle.

“Oh, fuck.” Whimpers Eddie before he’s tearing his shirt off over his head, and tossing it somewhere behind you.

You take his tip in your mouth and begin sucking, taking him in deeper until he reaches the back of your throat, you close your eyes and breath through your nose willing yourself not to choke on it. You bob your head fucking your own mouth on his cock, allowing for that build up of spit to pool in your mouth.

You pull off of him with a pop before spitting on his tip, you curl your fingers back around him and begin spreading your saliva around the reddened head, all the way down to where the shaft meets his balls, the quick movements create a slick sound that squelches out into the muggy room.

“Jesus Christ baby, you weren’t fucking around were you?” He chuckles as he lightly squirms in his seat, it feels too fucking good and he’s trying his hardest not already blow his load.

You giggle and smile up at him from your place on your knees, that picture alone of you with your cute fucking giggle and beautiful smile along with your spit soaked lips and chin were so close to doing him in.

You wink at him before you move down to his balls and begin light licks and sucks at the tender skin.

“Oh my god, fuck yes.” He’s a babbling, whimpering mess and you have never felt so fucking powerful.

Finally after you worship his balls with a few more gentle sucks, you take his thighs and spread them out more, almost lifting them up into the air, making Eddie fall back further into the couch as his eyes widen at your manhandling.

He scoots down, his ass almost halfway off the couch as he brings his knees in towards his stomach, giving you the perfect view of his tight pink hole.

You continue to stroke him, his cock still slippery from all of your spit.

“You ready?” You quietly ask, Eddie nods his head as he bites down on his lip.

You wanted to tease him like he does you and give him the “use your words” bullshit, but you’re just as eager as he is, so you take that as his final answer.

Your tongue lightly brushes against his hole, making him slightly jump in surprise. You put more pressure on your tongue, getting more into it as you go. You imagine this is what eating a girl's pussy would be like, which is something you’d always wanted to try.

“Holy fuck!” Eddie gasps from above you, “oh fuck, th-that feels so good, baby.” He’s been reduced to a complete puddle, his cock is leaking so much precum, you wanted to just lick it all up. You get an idea and bring your tongue to his tip, licking his mess but you don’t swallow, instead you let it sit in your mouth before bringing the precum to his asshole, using it as lubrication to gently slip your tongue into his tight muscle.

Eddie looks down at you in utter shock, he’s never been so turned on and ready to burst in his life.

“Baby, baby, holy- you gotta stop or I’m gonna cum.” He whines, as his head falls back at the overwhelming pleasure of it all.

You slip your tongue out, a mischievous glint in your eyes has Eddie’s breath hitches in his throat.

“Can I finger you while I suck your cock, Ed?” You implore with a pout of your vibrant colored lips.

“Oh my god.” Eddie rubs at his face in astonishment, were you trying to kill him?

“Is that a yes?” You timidly ask, not sure if his reaction was good or bad.

Eddie lifts his head up again, meeting your eyes with a smile.

“You’re a little fucking minx, you know that?” He sighs before finally answering your question—

“Yes, you can do whatever you want to me, sweet girl.” He slams his head back into the cushions, bracing himself for the intrusion.

You spit on your finger tips and rub it into his hole, before doing it again, making sure to get it nice and wet. You had a friend who told you she tried to do anal dry, and it hurt like hell. So you know you have to get it nice and prepped with your spit before you finally proceed.

You rub more of your spit around before taking your middle finger and ever so slowly entering Eddie’s asshole.

His hands instantly grab for the fabric of the cushions, hanging on for dear life because the way you were making him feel, was beyond his comprehension.

He thought for sure if he’d let go, he’d float away.

You slip your finger in to the knuckle, while Eddie continues his incoherent babbling.

You begin slowly moving in and out while simultaneously taking Eddie’s cock in your mouth, his whole body stiffens as he lets out a guttural groan.

You let him hit the back of your throat over and over while speeding up your finger. The noises from his wet asshole to the sounds of you sucking him off and his beautiful, pleasure filled moans has your clit throbbing and begging for friction.

“Mmm, baby, Im- holy fuck I’m gonna cum, gonna cum in your fucking mouth!” He shouts as his eyes roll back in his head.

He looks down at you one last time, before he begins shooting rope after rope of warm cum into your mouth. You make a show of swallowing and licking the rest of his cock clean, you slowly remove your finger from his hole and bring it up to your lips, sucking it, just like he does when he fingers you.

Eddie’s sat up on the palms of his hands as he watches the display, he instantly growls in satisfaction and pulls you by the loops of your jeans shorts onto his lap, he grabs your face and smashes his lips to yours, a sloppy spit filled kiss.

Eddie moans at the taste of himself on you.

He was in heaven and you were a fucking angel.

#eddie munson fandom #eddie munson fic #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie stranger things

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taurusreads · 8 months

Text

what awaits you at the end of this cycle?

masterlist || paid services || ko-fi

a little encouragement to keep pushing through 🫶🏽

how to pick a pile? close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and clear your mind. feel which pile you're drawn to, and find the reading below the cut!

PILE ONE

i’m getting a very vibrant orange color from this pile. some of you may actually like oranges, like the fruit, or could be someone who takes care of their body. some of you could also be preparing for something. i’m seeing planning and getting things in order, virgo energy could be significant here. jupiter energy could also be significant. you could also be the type of person to keep things to yourself. you might be in a bit of solitude right now, keeping the things that are important to you to yourself. you could also be the type of person to plan out your life as well. i think you could have a clear picture of what you want for yourself, and you’re actively working to gain that lifestyle.

i feel like you guys are starting to learn a lot about yourselves at the moment. my first paragraph is always dedicated to messages i receive while shuffling so i know the energy that i’m reading for, and yours was a bit longer than the other two piles, as yours mainly touched up on different aspects of your personality that might have gone unnoticed by you previously. the first house card came out for you, which is all about your personality and the way that other people perceive you. i think that at the end of your cycle people could be talking about how different you look/seem, or you could be noticing those changes in yourself as well. i’m also picking up again on the fact that you take good care of your health, and you might be making that a priority right now. if you feel the urge to take care of yourself and better your mind body and soul, don’t ignore it! i see you’re doing a good job at that and it’ll pay off for you later on.

take time to ground your energy, maybe go on a walk or when you’re in the shower, visualize your fears and worries being rinsed down the drain before you start your day. that will help ease some of the anxieties you have throughout the day. i feel like some of you have been wanting to make new friends or meet people that resonate with you, and i’m hearing that at the end of this cycle you’ll definitely have that! if you haven’t already, you’ll start seeing the changes in your reality soon! i feel like some of you may have given up hope and these things coming for you since you worked through the hard stuff, but don’t worry, they’re on their way! you just have to be patient.

i feel like you all are exactly where you need to be right now. your guides are watching over you, keeping you on the right path, so all you need to do is sit back and follow their lead. don’t think too hard about the next few months, just go with the flow and when your mind tells you to do something, don’t stress over it and just start moving! you’ll see so much more progress the sooner you let go of the idea that you don’t truly deserve these things.

i feel like you’re experiencing a cycle that is coming to a close for you. there was a situation that wasn’t serving your highest good, and so the universe went and did away with it to help with your growth. i feel like this was someone who you used to talk to a lot, they could have understood you better than most people you felt. i do feel like this person wasn’t navigating from a place of love though. where they did love you and wanted the best for you, they were not in a headspace where they could provide that love. i do see that this person could be a bit of a workaholic, and could have placed their needs above yours constantly, so you did what needed to be done for yourself and you walked away.

if this situation resonated with you i just want you to know that i am so so so proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing right by your needs. although, for some others, it’s time to stop waiting for that person to come back. and if you’re worried about whether they will come back or not, that is up to them and whether they decide to work through their shadows or not. this is giving the energy or a healing connection, one of growth and understanding, but unless both parties put in the work, it will be very hard for you two to work in tandem with each other.

give this person the time they need to heal, as well as give yourself the time you need to heal (that’s the most important), and with that your situation with them could improve.

also, i’m seeing that for a lot of you, another thing coming at the end of this cycle is regarding your career, but they would not give me too much information on it. i think there might be something very exciting coming for you, and your guides want you to be excited!

PILE TWO

i’m getting like a foresty green here. kind of the dark green color that comes on leaves, but with the bright and happy energy of light green. very balanced energy here. i’m getting cottage core vibes, so you may be someone who like to dress in that style or has that aesthetic around them, or that theme might be significant right now. i keep singing water by tyla as well. that song could be significant for some of you (specifically the chorus). earth placements could be significant for this pile.

ah my little viridians (that’s what i shall call you because of the color i saw sorry). you guys could be out of the box thinkers, the type to analyze the scene in front of you and come up with a creative solution to the problem. you could have heavy virgo and libra placements, or heavy air placements in general. i’m seeing that some of you guys may participate in social activities like smoking the green if ya know what i mean. neon colors such as pink, purple, and green could be significant.

i’m hearing try not to analyze too much about the things going on around you. you could be doing a lot of research about astrology, tarot, spirituality, etc. and making the connection, but try not to give yourself a headache over thinking things lol. i’m getting the energy of another person here’s that’s wanting to come in, and so i think that this person could be waiting on the other side of this cycle. if any of you have been manifesting a relationship with someone, i see this person coming in at the end of your cycle. i think this person is full of love, they give very soft and kind energy. they could be very nurturing, and provide a lot of advice and guidance to help you on your spiritual journey.

i’m seeing that at the end of your cycle, you’ll be in a very calm state of mind. i think that you tend to have a lot of questions, especially about the world and how it came to be, they may even cause you anxiety a little bit. i’m seeing here that at the end of this cycle you’ll have come to enough of an understanding to the point where you can relax and just enjoy the life that you’ve been given. some of you could be humanitarians, or care deeply about the condition of the earth and how it’s being treated. you’re definitely big on connecting with nature, and you just give very open and loving energy. it’s low key giving hippie and i love it.

i think a sign that this cycle is coming to a close for you is when you want to start becoming active again. i’m hearing that you might be into dancing or will want to be very physically active randomly. some of you could also come from a culture where dancing is a form of expression in faith, such as native american descent.

if some of you have been trying to decide on what to do with your life, i’m hearing that the world is your oyster. you can do whatever you want, and you don’t have to be tied down to one thing. i feel like i’m giving big sister vibes rn lol. some of you may feel like you have to fit a mold that was made for you from your family. there might be a work place or job that your parents expected you to get, or maybe a family business that they want you to take over. if you feel deep in your heart that you don’t want to do that, then you have the right to say no. you don’t have to abide by what they want you to be just because they’re your parents, you’re human too. and i know it’s definitely hard standing your ground and doing what’s best for yourself, but handling the situation with love and grace will be more helpful than you thought.

if you’re the type that tends to get a bit aggressive when you start to feel emotion, make sure to approach any situations with a calm mind, already know what you want to say and how you want to say it. you have to take accountability for when you may step out of line, just as others should do for you. i’m also singing water by tyla AGAIN. i always use the first paragraph as an energy check, so i don’t actually look at any of the cards falling out while i shuffle. i started singing the song then and now i’m singing it again, it doesn’t get stuck in my head otherwise.

don’t ignore the things that’s your heart and soul are telling you. i think you could have finished this cycle a while ago, had you let go of control and the fear of change. don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from reaching out for the things you want to do, because you’re losing endless possibilities because of it. don’t be afraid to face your shadows, they are a part of you after all. they’re not here to hurt you, they’re here to help heal you. the person coming in at the end of this cycle is definitely a soulmate i’m seeing, they’re giving me a guide of sorts for you. this person is going to help direct you in the right direction, and he’ll you understand any questions you might have as they arise for you. they’re here to help you keep your head on straight as i feel like when you overthink you tend to spiral.

all in all, i’m seeing that there’s not one set thing coming in for you. i feel like something you might have asked for was a betterment in your mental state, or just a betterment in your current situation in general, so they gave you that. you have the capacity to do absolutely whatever you want after this. you want to be an astronaut? go for it. president? absolutely. cafe owner? cute as fuck bro. you’re literally like a freelancer man, you can do any and everything, and that should make you proud.

PILE THREE

this pile is my yellow pile. not quite like the sun, it has a bit more of an white hue to it, but still so pretty. almost like the yellow you get for newborn babies. i’m immediately feeling that you guys are happy with life and open to receiving all blessings coming your way. you could have just come out of a tough cycle, and are ready to have the new and improved version of your life start now. some of you might be drawn to pile 2 as well, if you are, check it out! there might be a few messages for you there. prominent air placements could be significant, as well as venus energy (taurus and libra).

for a lot of you i’m seeing a life partner coming in. this is something that was fated from the moment you were born, you just needed to wait and do the proper work for it to come in on time. i think that at the end of this cycle this is the biggest reward that you are reaping, as this also seems like something you’ve been wanting for a while.

when i was shuffling the cards, i had already gotten the energy that you’d finished your cycle. the energy i was getting was more of openness and acceptance from a place of love and understanding. something started happening with my right eye while i was messing around with your pile, so if you feel like there’s something in your eye when nothings wrong with it, or your eye starts to twitch at random moments, that may be indication that this person is coming very soon. i think right now you’re in a time where you’ve done the reflecting, you’ve done the introspection, and now it’s time for the universe to give back to you. it’s important that you follow your heart and gut feelings right now, as following those urges will lead you right where you need to be. don’t forget to include logic though, balancing your spiritual insight and logic may be something to work through for you right now. i’m seeing heavy self care days for some of you as well. a lot of you may have stepped into your it girl era, and are being diligent in taking care of yourself and your environment. venus energy is so heavy for this group right now.

you may actually be operating from your venus sign right now, pile three. sometimes the time of our lives that we are in can change the energy that we exude, and so you might not come off as your sun/rising sign (you rising sign is actually one of your chart rulers, so that’s most times how people perceive you). this makes sense with the romantic partner on the move for you.

i feel like if some of you have been worried about whether your manifestations are actually going to come in, i’m here to tell you that they are. the universe is never going to give you the short end of the stick, at least not without it preparing you for something better. when they told you that you were done with the hard parts, they meant it. carry yourself with grace and act like you’re the baddie that you are because you put in WORK for this bro. you did that shit and it wasn’t easy, so don’t brush it off like it was that easy!! i’m seeing that you could be in your empress energy right now, actually. you’re very stable mentally, emotionally, and physically, which is why your person is preparing to come into your life now. spirit is telling you to be optimistic right now, get excited, because the things that you asked for are here! they’re not even coming. they’re not on their way, they’re HERE!!!

i started singing black and yellow by wiz khalifah when i started shuffling the tarot cards so that song could be significant for some of you lol. some of you could be in the longing stage, where you want your person and you can feel them coming in, but the urge to have them is making you impatient. i’m hearing to distract yourself during these times. maybe go out with friends, hang out with family, or participate in a hobby that you enjoy as a way to take your mind off of it until your manifestations get here. you’re guides are telling me that they know it’s hard, but you’ve only got a little more to go.

you could also be seeing repeating 5’s, which signify change and adjustments. i’m feeling like you’re starting to see the things around you and within you change. you might have had a change in the things that you deem important, and those changes are bringing you new opportunities, especially in your work place. i’m seeing blessing coming through as a byproduct of your introspection, as well as an increase in opportunities surrounding your work life. if you guys have been working towards a specific goal or a specific career, i’m hearing that significant changes are coming in regarding that, and you should be on the look out for contact from a higher up sometime soon! i’m seeing that all of these changes are going to catapult you into your dream reality! all the things you’ve been imagining and wishing for yourself are finally here, so stop worrying and let them come in as they should <3

#tarot #tarot community #tarot reader #tarot readings #pick a card #divination #love tarot reading #pick a card tarot #pick a pile tarot #astrology #spiritual awakening #spiritual journey #spiritual growth #spiritual development

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nootnootwook · 6 months

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merry christmas

pairing: sung hanbin x fem!reader

genre: best friends to lovers

in which: you and hanbin have your annual christmas sleepover

warnings: two idiots in love, cuddles, kisses, lowercase intended, not proofread !!!

series masterlist !!

so where do we begin?

you and hanbin have been friends for years. ever since you met in high school you became the best of friends after realising how compatible the two of you are. both of you were immediately drawn to each other and the amount of times you were mistaken to be a couple since then is more than you could count.

to be honest you saw where all these people came from with that point. you and hanbin do usually act couple-y with one another but never think much of it. i mean you go on study dates, coffee dates, walks together, he gets you flowers, takes you to the movies and so on. but that’s just what best friends do right?

wrong.

you can’t lie and say that you haven’t developed feelings for hanbin after years of doing all of these things but there’s nothing you could really do about it. so you don’t. you live happily in your delusions pretending that all of this is real.

one of the many couple-like things that the two of you do is your annual christmas sleepover. this tradition came to be a couple of months after your friendship began when you were 14 and your parents decided that your families will spend christmas together. hanbin and his family stayed over on christmas eve and you all opened your presents together the next day.

this tradition continues up until now, where both of you attend uni together and continue your completely platonic relationship.

so your currently setting up the apartment waiting for hanbin’s return from the store. he went to go pick up some snacks while you finished setting up the fort in the living room. the setup was cosy and warm. you managed to get some matching christmas pyjamas for the two of you to wear as well as matching mugs for your hot chocolate. the selection of movies was laid out in front of you while the pile of pillows and teddies was laying behind you.

just as you ran into your room to grab hanbin’s gift to place under the christmas tree the door opened and in walked your best friend.

“hey i’m back” he said as he walked through the door.

“bin you’re finally here” you ran to him after placing the gift down under the tree. you almost wrapped your arms around him before remembering that he’d been out while it was snowing so you instead unzipped his jacket and took it off for him, hanging it up on the hanger before embracing him in a hug. “right on time. i just finished setting up” you say into the embrace before letting go and looking up at him. your eyes meet his for a few seconds before you grab the bag of snacks out of his hand and bring them to the fort. “come on! put your pyjamas on!” you say and hold them out to him. he only chuckles at you.

“okay okay. i’ll be back in a second” he says and leaves to his room to get changed. soon he came back through to the living room with a gift in his hand. he walked over to the tree and placed it next to the gift bag that you had put there not long ago. he sat next to you. “so, what are we watching?” he said and reached out to pick up some of the cds which were laying on the floor before him.

“hmmm” you pretend to think while resting your chin on his shoulder to look at the movies. “maybe the grinch?” you say and pint to the cd in his hand.

“great pick” he said and popped open the cd’s box. “you get comfy, i’ll put it on.” he said and patted your head lightly. you moved back into the fort and got cozy under the blankets while waiting for him to put the movie on. you opened some of the packs of snacks that he brought just as he came to lay down beside you.

the movie started and as the plot rolled out you lay your head on hanbin’s shoulder. this was, again, quite a normal occurrence for you but this felt more intimate than normal seen as he reached out shortly after and laced your fingers together, holding your hand in his bigger one. it felt so warm. so comfortable. it was home.

and before you knew it, the first movie was over and on came another - you and hanbin only separating for the few minutes it took him to put on the polar express - and the two of you were back to your previous position. about halfway into the second movie you started to feel drowsy and started to drift away into dreamland on hanbin’s shoulder.

he, of course, noticed and only moved you so that you were laying right on his chest. for comfort he thought, but he wasn’t sure if it was yours or his. he must admit he completely melted at the sight of you peacefully sleeping on his chest, one hand wrapped around his torso and the other lightly gripping the shirt of the matching pyjama set that he had on and he could only hope that you’ll appreciate the gift he has prepared for you.

he soon found himself feeling a bit more tired and decided to head off to sleep - holding you tightly - but not before checking the time which now was 00:02.

“merry christmas my love” he whispered to you quietly before making himself comfortable in the small fort that you have built for the two of you.

~~~

you woke up warm and comfortable (with a blanket that fell off the fort on your face but comfy nonetheless) you yawned and stretched as you heard your back pop in a couple of places from sleeping on the floor. as you were stretching you felt the arms around your waist tighten around you. you were pulled into hanbin’s chest and found yourself with a small smile on your face as you melted into the warm embrace.

“merry christmas bin” you whispered to him after noticing he was awake.

“merry christmas y/n” he says with a sleepy smile while rubbing his eyes tiredly. both of you stopped and looked at each other. everything just felt so right at this moment - waking up in his arms and hearing his voice first thing in the morning. hanbin couldn’t help but reach out a hand to cup your cheek. “you’re so beautiful” he whispered so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. his eyes flickered down to your lips.

“wait” you whispered softly. “wait one minute” you said slightly louder and got up to grab the gifts under the tree. you gave him your gift. “open it please” you said and he lightly tore the neat wrapping paper.

he carefully removed the paper to reveal a sleek black box. he opened it and inside was a small silver chain bracelet with a small thin rectangle in which ‘forever’ was engraved in small lettering. he let his finger slide over the word as he examined the box. he soon came to realise that on the inside of the lid ‘i love you’ was written in fine gold print.

“i-“ he didn’t even know what to say. “thank you” he said and looked up at you with slight tears in his eyes. he couldn’t believe it it finally happened. “thank you so much” he wrapped his arms around you so tightly you almost could breathe. “i love you too” he whispered to you as you embraced him back.

you broke the hug and looked up at him with sparkling eyes. you cupped his cheeks in yours and brought his face to yours placing a light peck on his lips which he, of course, reciprocated.

“open mine” he said. and you did. he had gotten you a gorgeous golden necklace which had a small gold circle hanging from it on which both of your initials were engraved and a heart on the other side.

and on the lid of the box ‘i love you’ was written in fine gold print.

~~~~

a/n !! hello my lovelies !!! happy almost christmas i hope you’re all enjoying this series. unfortunately i will not be able to get all of the parts out before christmas but i will try my best to make sure they’re out by the new year !!

i love you all take care !! any reblogs and comments are a huge help thank you for all the support !!!

library !!

#best friends to lovers #zb1 #zb1 christmas #best friends #childhood best friends to lovers #zb1 fluff #sung hanbin #zb1 hanbin #hanbin x reader #sung hanbin fluff #zb1 x reader #christmas with zerobaseone #sung hanbin x reader #hanbin fluff

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certifiedwhore4slashers · 1 year

Text

Death Follows

pairing(s): dark!harry potter x reader, ron x hermione

summary: harry, your best friend, has been acting odd lately, very odd, deciding on one occasion to follow him, leads to your demise.

warnings: obsession, yandere, implied murder, blood, manipulation(slightly), perverted behavior(not from Harry), possessive!harry, toxicity, etc…

reader is pretty much gender neutral since I don’t describe any feminine pronouns or masculine pronouns, or feminity.

also this au has been in my mind a little bit lately lol. obviously everyone is 18+ in this. keep that in mind. dark themes ahead.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You were so worried for Harry. He was your best friend and nonetheless, something obviously was going on with him.

“Y/n, calm down, Ron said.”You’ve been worried this whole week.” “Look, haven’t any of you noticed that he is well, distant? Doesn’t tell us much? You ask. “I have but, maybe he’s going through stuff and coping with the whole dark lord thing, having to defeat him is a lot, Hermione pointed out.

“True, You say.”I guess. But, I still-“ Ron groaned, you couldn’t help but form a smile as it was kind of funny.”I’ll shut up now, Ron. At least about Harry.”

“Good, Ron replied, wrapping his arms around Hermione, they had been dating for four months now. You couldn’t be more happier for them.

“Where are you going? hermione asks. “Nowhere! You lie. Hermione rolls her eyes. “He said not to talk about it anymore! You say, outsmarting Ron.’

You walk a bit louder than you should have. At Hogwarts, Quietness was rare, and noise was frequent. Also a lot of chaos.

“Where is he? You murmur, trying to find Harry. You were so in love with him you’d be willing to do anything for him.

Sure, this could be because of the amount of pressure he has to stop Voldemort. But there had to have been something else.

Harry, was a introvert indeed, but this bad and distant? That didn’t seem like himself. When you spot him, You secretly follow. Maybe this was stalking or out of pure obsession, you weren’t obsessed with him, just in love, that was all.

You only followed his footsteps as you went to see where he went. Maybe you shouldn’t have. After all, curiosity kills the cat. But this was out of concern for your best friend, who you’ve grown up with pretty much.

You were doing the right thing weren’t you? Harry suddenly turns around and you hide. You almost had been caught. Almost. You were scared of what would happen if you were caught by Harry. Especially since he was more aggressive. That wasn’t like him. This whole situation was odd itself.

You probably would find that it wasn’t as concerning as you thought it was, or completely different to the scenario in your mind. You hoped it wasn’t the scenario you pictured in your mind.

Calm down, you’re overthinking, You thought. And yet, I feel drawn to this whole thing. What’s wrong with me? Am I truly becoming obsessed?

You were more than filled with self doubt, but you prioritized helping Harry with whatever he needed. Of course, only if it was good. Not if his intentions were corrupt.

You weren’t like that at all. And when you finally stopped where Harry stopped, but hiding a bit further so he didn’t see you, you didn’t find anything interesting, much to your dismay but relief as well.

You chuckle softly, for a moment you thought he was working with Voldemort. How silly of you to think such things.

You begin walking back to your dormitory, it should’ve been a short and swift walk, if you didn’t bump into someone.

“I’m so sorry, You apologize. “Don’t be, He winks, and in a suggestive tone. Already, making you feel uncomfortable.”Where did you come from?”

“Um, I was just looking for my friend, couldn’t find him, You lied. “What a shame, The ravenclaw said. You would’ve been surprised if it had a hufflepuff.

Truthfully, Every house had bad people in it. “I better get going…. You say. “I recognize you, He says.”Y/N right? The chosen one’s friend?” He said that as if you were more than that. Which you weren’t, unfortunately.

“Yes, now can I get through? You ask, a bit more sternly and assertive. You weren’t going to get out of this mess unless you did something. And you normally didn’t like doing that. You hated confrontation.

“Oh sure thing, can I walk you to your dorm? He asks. “Sure, I guess, You say nervously. He says his name and you say yours. As awkward as it is, maybe the feeling of someone actually being into you was nice.

Though, you knew his motives were anything but nice. Still, you’d never let it take that far. “Here is my dorm, You smile.”I hope I see… you around.” “You definitely will, He winks, leaving you to your dorm.

It wasn’t a good way either. He’d probably ask you out on a date eventually. “y/n, what did you find? Hermione asks. “Not much, You say.”But, before you say I told you so, I know he is hiding something.”

She sighed.”You are too in love to think logically, Y/N.” You scoff.”I’m not in love with him! I found someone!”

“You did? Both Ron and Hermione say in unison. The common room was empty somehow, making things better.

“Mhm, that ravenclaw guy or something, said his name was Bastian or something.”

Hermione groaned.”Y/n, he’s an asshole who’s only using you for sex!” “I know, and I’m not letting him use me, U just met him, doesn’t mean anything, You defended.

“Thank god, Hermione said. “I heard he’s hot though, Ron said. “Not the point, You say. Ron laughed and so did you.

“Ron, you have something to say? You joke. Hermione looks over, smirking. Ron blushed.”I’m not gay! I love ‘Mione!”

“Cute nickname, Hermione smiled, sitting beside him. “To be fair, he didn’t come up with it first, You smiled.

You looked proud and smug, as you had come up with it in Year 1. Hermione loved it and it stuck ever since. Though, it was a nickname only her closest friends, you, Ron(her boyfriend now), and Harry.

It got darker, and by the time you were in bed, you hear noises coming from the Common Room. So, much to your curiosity, you go downstairs to the common room. Relieved, You say,”Merlin, Harry, I thought you were something else.”

“No, just me, Harry said calmly.”You thought I was Voldemort or something?” “No, you laughed.”You came in really late. Won’t you get some sleep?”

“I’m not that tired, Harry assured you.”You don’t have to worry about me, Y/N.” “I think I do, You tease.”You need someone to look after you, Harry.”

He smiles.”Always putting everyone’s needs over your own, typical of you.” “It’s kind of how you are, You say.”Selfless, caring…” He sighed, plopping himself down on the couch.

“Harry, I’m worried for you, okay? You say, sitting beside him.”What’s going on?” “It’s nothing, he says. That’s a lie, you knew.

“Harry, I know that’s a lie, You say.”And…” you stop, looking down to see blood all over his clothes. You stand up.”Harry, what did you do?”

Confused, He asked,”What do you mean?” “Did you fall or something? Hurt yourself? You’ve got blood all over, You say nervously, about to pull your wand out when Harry took action quicker.”Expelliarmus!”

He disarmed tour wand, making you taken aback. Why did he do that? You weren’t a threat by any means. Pulling out your wand he probably assumed you’d hurt him or something.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I… I’m just a bit scared, okay? I need my wand to-“

He grabs it before you do. His demeanor, you just knew changed. “I’m not giving it back until I can trust you, Harry said sternly.

“God, you sound like my father, give it back! You say, reaching out for it but not succeeding.”And what makes me untrustworthy?”

“The fact you’re questioning me, and immediately go to your wand! Harry said. “Shh! They can hear you! You say, when he grabs your wrist, making you jump.

“You really want to know? He asks, his tone angrier than you’ve ever heard from him. You nodded nervously, more so afraid. This side of him you’ve never seen before.

Pulling you closer to him, Harry whispers in your ear,”I killed that creep.” “No… You say.”He wasn’t a creep. And how did you know?”

“I knew you followed me, and I saw it, Harry added.”I’m not as stupid as you might think, y/n.” “Okay, then what were you doing? You ask.”I know you’re hiding something, Harry.”

“Feeling bold, aren’t you?”

“Maybe, You reply, your voice filled with venom and a bit more confidence as you spoke. You never felt so confident in your life. But you had to hide your fear and intimidation of Harry.

“Alright then, Harry smirked.”I didn’t exactly lie about defeating Voldemort.” “Okay… You say. “I already killed him, he continues.”Which that makes me the new Dark Lord.”

“What? You say.”Okay, Maybe your trauma made you-“ His hand was wrapped around your throat, not choking you but he could.”I’d rather you keep your mouth shut about this.”

You somehow whimper and nodded. He lets go.”Good.” “I have a feeling there was more to murdering that ravenclaw, You whisper.

“The fact is, you’re mine, and I just made sure he knew, Harry said possessively. This side of him scared you.

“What are you going to do as the Dark Lord?”

“Destroy those who wronged me and the people I love, obviously.”

#harry potter x reader #yandere harry potter #dark!harry #dark!harry potter #yandere #yandere x reader #tw obsession #tw yandere #ronmione #harry potter au

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justagalwhowrites · 11 months

Text

Lavender - Ch. 49

Things change in Jackson but the most important things stay the same. The final chapter of Lavender, found in its entirety on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut! No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 7.3k

Sunday, October, 4, 2026

“Hey Joel!” Suzanne, a woman who worked at the clinic with you, ran up to him as he made his way home after an overnight patrol. “Do you know where Doc is?”

“Think all my girls are at home,” he frowned a little. “Not sure, haven’t been there yet since gettin’ back but I’m heading there now… Everything OK?”

“Think we’ve got an appendicitis,” she winced as she said it. “If she’s home, can you send her our way? Save me the trouble of going to look at your place.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” Joel said. “I’ll see if I can track her down if she’s not there but it’s Sylvie’s nap time so can’t imagine she’d go far…”

Suzanne smiled gratefully and ran back into the clinic, her ponytail swinging.

Joel was eager to get home to you under any circumstance but even more so after doing an overnight patrol. He’d been away from you too long. He never slept well on patrol, never slept well if he was somewhere he couldn’t touch you, feel you breathing next to him. Whenever he got back, he usually spent five minutes just holding onto you, centering himself on you and the feeling of you in his arms again. But now you’d be running out the door right away. Even though he knew appendectomies were relatively easy and that you’d only be gone a few hours at the most, it was hard to not be a little frustrated by it.

“Hey Love,” you smiled when he came in, stretched out on the couch with a ribbon tied like a headband in your hair and his daughter asleep on your chest. “Didn’t want to risk moving her, both of your kids have been in rare form today…”

Sylvie, now 18 months old, shifted ever so slightly on her mother’s chest, her little features drawn in for a second - as if to prove a point - before relaxing. Her hair was getting long, her thick, dark curls a clone of her father. Her eyes were, too, when they were open. Joel knew them well. It seemed like he’d done nothing but stare at her for months after she was born, the combination of you and him something too beautiful to look away from.

It sometimes felt to Joel that there was some part of the universe that always wanted your child to exist. You got pregnant so fast. He couldn’t be sure but the timing of the day at the lake made sense, like the only thing stopping the creation of you and him together was the power of modern medicine. The moment there was nothing preventing it she sprang into being, all but inevitable.

Joel was surprised at just how much he loved seeing you pregnant. It hadn’t been something that he’d ever considered before now, not something he’d ever been drawn to before now. But looking at you, knowing you were growing his child, knowing your body was changing because of him somehow made you even more beautiful.

Lucky for him, your hormones made you practically insatiable - not that you’d ever had a low sex drive. But it went from sex most nights to sex every night, often twice, and once again in the morning if you woke up with enough time before needing to get yourselves or Ellie out the door. He loved finding new places on you to touch and hold, loved kissing your stomach over where you were growing his daughter, loved holding your swollen breasts as he sank into your tight heat from behind, always cumming deep inside you because it’s not like he could make you any more pregnant.

It took everything he had in him to not try to get you pregnant again. You’d told him, flat out, no. The pregnancy hadn’t been rough but it hadn’t been easy, either. You were tired but had a hard time sleeping, sensitive to all kinds of sights and smells, throwing up more days than you didn’t. It was easier, you said, than your first pregnancy, the one that was lost. But you were 20 years older now, everything was harder on your body now than it was then and the last thing he wanted to do was cause you any pain.

But seeing you be a mother to his children had a tight hold on him. Every time he was inside you he had to fight the urge to plant himself deep, resist the drive to give you another child of his to grow and raise with him. Logic didn’t matter when he was inside of you, all that mattered was you and the primal need to give you as much of him as you would take.

“Both of ‘em, huh?” He asked, coming over and pressing a deep kiss to your forehead and stroking your hair before sitting on the edge of the coffee table.

“Yup,” you smiled a little. “Sylvie has not been on board with eating anything but she’s been crying half the day because she’s hungry. Ellie got home about an hour ago and didn’t say a word before stomping upstairs. So yes, your daughters have been in a mood today.”

“Why are they my daughters when they’re actin’ up?” He asked, gently resting a hand on Sylvie’s back, feeling her little chest rise and fall with her sleepy breaths.

“Because that’s when they take after you most,” you smirked a little. “When they’re angels who have never done a damn thing wrong, they’re mine.”

He laughed once and went to scoop Sylvie off your chest and getting to his feet. You frowned.

“I’ve got this little troublemaker since she’s apparently mine today,” he said, his youngest daughter stirring and scrunching her face as she yawned, her plump lips immediately falling into a pout. She buried her face into Joel’s neck with a little whine. “And I’ll go up and check on the other one. They need you at the clinic, appendicitis.”

“In that case, I leave you to be the outnumbered one,” you said, getting up and stretching out your back as you did. Joel took a second to admire you, the added thickness to your hips and legs and softness to your stomach and fullness to your breasts after carrying his daughter somehow making you even more lovely. Before, he didn’t think you could get anymore beautiful. Of course you’d find a way to prove him wrong. You reached up to kiss him, smiling against his lips before brushing Sylvie’s hair back. “Think you can behave yourself for your father since I’m sure he’s tired and hungry after a long day out patrolling?”

She groaned and pushed her little face into his shoulder. He laughed.

“Not like I haven’t dealt with moody girls before,” he said. His heart, he found, hurt less when he thought of Sarah now. The fact that she wasn’t there was still something that was missing. An emptiness and an ache of loss where he knew there should only be fullness and light. But he saw so much of her in Ellie and Sylvie and you. It made it so he could think about her, remember her, without it consuming him. He could miss her and remember her without suffering her loss. “I’ve got this Baby, go save a life.”

You kissed his daughter’s chubby little hand and gave his arm a squeeze before leaving. He looked at Sylvie, her face still in his shoulder.

“Alright Baby Girl,” he said. “We’re gonna try puttin’ you down for 10 minutes so I can talk to your sister, let’s see how that goes…”

He carried her upstairs and set her gently in her crib. She stretched and yawned and pouted, her eyes closed - lashes so long they were splayed across her plump cheek - until Joel tucked a rag doll Ellie’d made her into her little grasp. She tugged it against herself and settled a bit and Joel all but tiptoed out of her room and down the hall to Ellie’s. He knocked gently on the door.

“What.” Her voice was sharp.

“It’s me,” he said. “Wonderin’ if you wanted to talk about somethin’.”

“No.”

He waited a second.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

“Your house.”

He sighed. Why were teenagers so hard? He opened the door slowly and found her curled up on the bed, her eyes red and her arms crossed, her back to the mural.

“What’s goin’ on, Baby Girl?” He asked gently, coming and sitting beside her on the bed.

“I said I didn’t want to talk,” she snapped. “And I really don’t want to talk with you.”

“Well, I’m who ya got,” he shrugged. “So I’d like it if you did. Want to help you if I can.”

“You can’t help,” she glared at him. “You’ve done plenty.”

“Wish you’d tell me what you mean,” he frowned. “I’m at a loss here, Baby Girl.”

She sat up, crossing her legs and looking him in the eye.

“There’d be a cure right now if it wasn’t for you, wouldn’t there.” She didn’t ask it, she said it. A statement of fact. Joel’s stomach dropped.

“Where’d you get that idea?” He asked.

“That’s not an answer, Joel. Would there be a cure if it wasn’t for you?”

He sighed.

“Let’s talk about this when your mother…”

“No,” she shook her head. “No, she’s not my mom and you’re not my dad. You’re just some assholes who took away the one chance I had to make a fucking difference!”

That hurt, more than he’d have thought it would. It’s not like Ellie called you Mom and him Dad but it felt like she thought of him the way he thought of her. You’d both tried to help her see how important she was, how much she mattered, what a difference she made to the people around her every day. It hadn’t seemed to stick.

“This about Lucas?” He asked softly. She glared at him but he took that for a yes.

Her friend, Lucas, had been killed out on patrol a month earlier. Ripped apart by infected. It was tragic, the first loss on patrol in years. Lucas had been competent and likely kept the carnage from being worse, holding off a hoard long enough to get his patrol partners out alive. Ellie had been distant and sullen a lot since then.

You’d talked to Joel about it and the both of you figured she was mourning the loss of her friend. Neither of you thought it would be something like this.

“Baby Girl,” he said gently. “Why don’t we talk about this when Doc gets home? You can ask us whatever you want, we’ll answer you. OK?”

“Why, want to wait to get your stories straight?” She snapped.

“Not gonna lie to you,” he said. “We’ll tell you whatever you want. But she needs to be here for it, too. Not right for it to just be you’n me, OK?”

“Fine,” she snapped, curling up again. Sylvie started fussing in her room. He sighed and she just looked at him. “Go, I’m not allowed to talk to you until Doc’s here, anyway.”

He fought the urge to fight her on it and went and picked up his youngest daughter, instead.

You’d been right about Sylvie. She wasn’t in the mood for eating anything but kept giving her hungry cry, wailing too much to actually form words, instead toddling around inconsolably. Eventually, he broke into a jar of canned peaches and handed her a sticky slice, the syrupy juice from the jar dripping down her hands. She chewed it, hiccuping, her tear-streaked little face calming.

“You just wanted sugar,” he shook his head, smiling a little. “Should’ve known.”

He found himself glancing at the clock every few minutes, waiting for time to pass, waiting for you to get home. For the first time, he was almost dreading it. Because the conversation with Ellie had the potential to ruin everything. He wouldn’t know how to fix it if she hated him for it. Wouldn’t know what to do if she decided to leave because of it. You’d tried to tell him that you had to explain it when it happened but he’d convinced you to do what he thought was the right thing to do. He’d convinced you to all but lie.

If Ellie left because of it, would you leave, too? To stay with her? She would know it was Joel who wanted to hide it, she was anything but stupid. If she levied an ultimatum, would you leave him and take Sylvie with you? Would he deserve it if you did?

All things considered, you weren’t gone long, home well before you’d either start cooking or head over to the mess hall for dinner. He met you at the door, Sylvie on his hip.

“Hey,” you smiled, making your eyes go extra wide to get a little giggle out of your daughter. “She looks happier, I’m guessing you got her to eat something?”

“Broke into some of the canned peaches,” he said as you put your arms around him and Sylvie, stretching up for a kiss.

“Well if it works,” you said before you frowned. “What’s wrong? Something’s wrong…”

“Ellie wants to talk,” he said, holding you a little closer. “About Salt Lake City.”

You winced.

“Shit,” you dropped your forehead to his chest and took a deep breath. “Well, we knew it was coming eventually. Think Tommy can take Sylvie for the night so we can hash this all out and make sure we’re focused on Ellie?”

“Good plan,” he kissed the crown of your head and gave you a squeeze, some of his anxieties eased. You were here. Somehow, it was going to be OK.

Tommy, thankfully, was fine to take Sylvie and didn’t ask many questions after he saw the look on Joel’s face. Instead, he took his niece inside to play with Jake, his son, and Joel came home to find you and Ellie on the couch. You’d made tea and Ellie was rapping her fingers against the side of her chipped mug. She narrowed her eyes at Joel when he came in, her small body tucked into the corner of the couch, her legs crossed in front of her. Joel sat in the arm chair near your end of the couch. He couldn’t settle back into it. Instead, he sat on the edge of it, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him.

“OK Baby Girl,” he sighed, looking at her. “What do you want to know.”

“What happened?” She asked, staring him down. “With the Fireflies. What actually happened. You’ve never told me the truth about it but I need to know now. I can’t keep living with you fucking lying to me about it!”

“OK,” you said gently. “It’s OK…”

“No, it’s not OK,” she snapped. “And I’m tired of pretending like it is!”

“They were gonna kill you, Baby Girl,” Joel said, struggling to speak past the lump in his throat, the tightness in his chest.

“What?” Her eyes were a little wide. “No, Marlene said…”

“Marlene lied,” you said, your voice sharper than Joel was used to hearing. “Their doctor was purposely vague with me because he knew I wouldn’t go along with his plan…”

“What was the plan?” Ellie asked. “What did they need that would kill me?”

“Your brain,” Joel said. It hurt him to even think about it, to think back to those horrific minutes where he wasn’t sure if he’d get to her in time, where he thought he might have lost her forever. “They needed the Cordyceps that have been in you since you were born and they grow inside your brain…”

“You should have let them!” She cut him off, her eyes wide and teary. “Why would you stop them?”

“Ellie…” he began but she smacked her mug down on the coffee table with a loud thud.

“This was my one chance!” She looked between the two of you. “I could have actually done something! Been something, made a difference! My life would have mattered!”

“Your life matters just the way it is,” you said, tears in your eyes. “Ellie, you and Sylvie are the most important things in the world to us, nothing could matter more than you…”

“What about every other person in the fucking world?” She demanded. “What about…”

“The science was flawed,” you cut her off. “You were the only sample, to even test it would have killed you. Do you know how rarely something works right the first time in science? Basically never. Do you know how many combinations of things I had to try before my treatment worked in testing? Thousands, Ellie. They were going to kill you on the off chance he had it right and then when it didn’t work, what would be the point? That you got to die a noble death? That we lost you for nothing?

“I had notes from the treatment I developed and he wanted to wait to try anything with it until after he took the cordyceps from you,” you pressed on. “He could have said stop. He could have decided to exhaust every other option first and he didn’t. He was convinced he was right and that’s not a good way to conduct science, I couldn’t trust him to do this right. The other option wasn’t for you to save the world Ellie, not really. Yes, maybe it would have gotten there eventually but it was so far from a certain thing.”

“But…” she protested.

“You’re not a parent,” Joel said gently. “But would you have let them kill me or her for that? Or Sylvie? Would you have let them kill your little sister for somethin’ like that?”

Ellie just stared at her lap.

“So what happened?” She asked, her voice thick. “You said the place was attacked but it wasn’t, was it?”

Joel looked at you and you reached out your hand for him. He took it, holding onto you for dear life.

“They weren��t goin’ to listen, Baby Girl,” he said. “I did what I had to do to keep you safe.”

She nodded slowly.

“And that’s how Doc got shot,” she stated it again. “They were trying to protect themselves from you.”

“Yeah,” he said, your hand still tight in his own.

“How many people?” She asked quietly, looking up at the two of you. “How many people died there?”

He clenched his jaw for a moment before he was able to meet her eyes.

“I’m not sure,” he said. “I… I was so focused on gettin’ you out, I just did whatever I had to do.”

“So you killed all those people,” she said. “Brought me here… and Doc, you just gave up? You never tried to do anything with all that shit you did? You just let people keep turning?”

“Ellie…” you went to reach for her but she flinched back.

“I can’t…” she shook her head. “I need to think… I’m going to stay with Dina for a bit.”

She got up and Joel did, too.

“Baby Girl,” he said but she shook her head.

“Lucas might still be alive if she’d just done something,” Ellie shook her head. “But she didn’t. Neither one of you did. And it’s all fucking because of me.”

She left and you were staring at the spot on the couch where she’d been.

“Baby,” he said cautiously. He didn’t like the look on your face. “I’ll go after her…”

“No,” you shook your head and wiped your eyes. “No, let her go. She deserves some space from me.”

You got up and went for the stairs.

“Baby…”

“I’m going to shower,” you said.

He watched you go, wishing he could find some way to fix it.

***

Tuesday, May 11, 2027

“Don’t like this,” Joel stood next to you, holding Sylvie, frowning. “It’s too dangerous…”

“I’ll be fine,” you put your palm in the middle of his chest and kissed him. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

He pulled you tight against him, his lips in your hair.

“Mama,” Sylvie grabbed your braid. “Can I go on the horsie?”

You smiled and brushed your daughter’s hair back. She looked so much like her father it made your heart ache.

“Not this time, Baby Girl,” you smiled. “But soon. Promise.”

“You ready?” Tommy rode up along side your horse.

“As I’ll ever be,” you gave him a tight smile before kissing Sylvie one more time and giving Joel a longing look. “I’ll be back soon. I will.”

“You’re not back by Labor Day I’ll come get you back,” he said, voice dark. “Make sure they fuckin’ know it.”

He kissed your forehead and you mounted your horse, heading with Tommy outside Jackson.

The day after Ellie left was your birthday and it was the worst it had been in years. You stayed in bed most of the day, Joel just holding you.

“She’s right,” you said as the sun went down, your husband’s fingers tracing up and down your arm. “I should have done something with it, I’ve just been letting people die by not doing something with it…”

Joel tried to talk you out of it but you were determined then. You pulled Tommy aside and talked him into tracking down old Firefly contacts he had, seeing if he could find Dr. Anderson. After making some carefully placed radio calls over a span of months - much to Maria’s chagrin - he found him, at a hospital in Boise.

“You’re not goin’,” Joel paced your kitchen, his arms crossed. “I don’t give a shit if you can save everyone on the goddamn planet, you’re not goin’.”

“Yes, I am,” you said, sitting at the table, voice calm. “I respect your opinion but you don’t get to make this decision for me.”

“What if somethin’ happens to you?” He asked, stopping in front of you. “You’re talkin’ about meetin’ up with a bunch of fuckin’ terrorists who already damn near killed you…”

“They need what’s in my head,” you said. “They won’t kill me.”

He knelt in front of you, almost the exact place he’d been when he’d proposed years earlier, and took your face in his hands, holding you gently.

“I can’t do this without you, Baby,” he said, his deep brown eyes soft and scared. “Don’t ask me to try’n live without you, I don’t want it…”

“I can’t live with myself if I don’t try,” you whispered, pressing your forehead to his. “Please, Joel. I have to do this. I have to.”

He made it obvious that he wasn’t a fan of the idea but he agreed to it, staying behind to take care of Sylvie and keep an eye on Ellie, who had started coming around again, more to see Joel than anything else. You hadn’t told her you were leaving or why. You didn’t want to get her hopes up in case something fell through or have her feel responsible for you choosing to go if something happened to you out there. But you left a note to her, Sylvie and Joel, just in case you didn’t make it home. Just to be safe.

“Been a while since just you’n me got into trouble,” Tommy said as the gates closed behind you. “Should be fun.”

“Whatever you say, Tommy the Commie,” you smirked.

“Jesus,” he sighed. “Been how long and you’re still on that? Gotta get a new schtick, Kid.”

You laughed. At least you got to go on this damned trip with one of your best friends.

The ride to Boise was uneventful and you made it in just five days. The Fireflies were about as happy to see you as you were to see them, holding the two of you at gunpoint as you rode up to the city. Tommy looked about as happy about it as Joel would be.

“Dr. Miller,” Dr. Anderson said when you came to the hospital, giving you a stiff nod. “Can’t say I ever thought I’d see you again.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” you said, standing up as straight as you could, jaw squared. “You tried to kill my daughter.”

“And you kept me from saving the world for mine,” he said. “So I think we’re even.”

The two of you struck up an uneasy working relationship, Tommy hovering like a body guard for the first week you were there but apparently trusting the Fireflies enough to not kill you for at least a few hours at a time.

You’d brought some vials of Ellie’s blood with you, taken by one of the nurses at the clinic under the guise of running a few standard tests when she was sick with the flu weeks before. It took some time, but you were able to narrow down what you thought at least stopped the progression of cordyceps in her, even if it wouldn’t go as far as making someone immune. By late July, you’d developed an emergency injectable you thought would work to halt the progress of the cordyceps. Dr. Anderson distributed it to the Fireflies who were most likely to encounter infected. Then, it was a waiting game.

It took three weeks to discover that it worked. A patrol was overwhelmed by infected and one man was bitten. They used the injectable at the bite and the spread stopped. He was rushed back to you and Dr. Anderson, where the two of you carefully extracted the cordyceps from his arm.

“It’s not a cure,” you said after the man had been monitored for four days with no sign of infection. “But we can stop new infections.”

“That’s a whole hell of a lot,” he nodded. “We can synthesize it, spread it. It’ll take a while but it’s a start. A start to getting our world back.”

You were excited, of course. Thrilled that your idea had worked, that you’d been able to help begin to stop the suffering caused by infected. But mostly, you wanted to get home. You missed Joel, you missed Sylvie, you missed Ellie. You missed your life with them. You and Tommy left for Jackson the next day.

The ride back to Jackson felt longer than the ride to Boise. Maybe it was because you were so ready to get home and because your husband and daughters felt so close but so far. By the time you got back, you all but jumped off your horse at the stables and ran home.

“Joel?” You called as you pulled open the front door. You heard something clatter to the sink in the kitchen and he appeared in the doorway.

“Baby,” he ran and grabbed you, clutching you close to him, almost knocking the air out of you. “Fuck, I’ve been so worried, I’ve missed you so much…”

He sounded like he was on the verge of tears as he held you to him, kissing every part of you he could reach.

“I missed you,” you held onto him, your fingers in his hair. “But we did it, Joel. We made something that can stop infection…”

“I’m so proud of you,” he pulled back from you enough that he could kiss you. “But I care much more about you bein’ back than anything about infected…”

You laughed at that. He went and got Sylvie from her seat in the kitchen, where she’d been coloring.

“Mama!” She started squirming when she saw you, stretching and reaching.

“Hi Baby Girl!” You took her from her father and tried to keep from crying. She was bigger now than you remembered, her hair longer. You held her to you and breathed her in, Joel pulling you both against him.

“They didn’t have…” Ellie said, coming in the front door. You twisted to see her and you heard something clatter to the floor. “Mom!”

She hurled herself at you, holding onto you tightly.

“I’m so sorry,” she was crying. “I didn’t…”

“No, Baby Girl,” you wrapped the arm not holding Sylvie around her and kissed her temple. “You were right, I should have done something with this so much sooner…”

“I’m just so glad you’re back,” she said, burying her face in your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have said that shit, I’m so sorry…”

“Just keep calling me Mom and you can say just about anything else you want,” you said, voice wet. She laughed. “I love you, Ellie. So much.”

“Love you, too.”

October 5, 2029

The first time you heard a plane overhead, you instinctively ducked. The last time you’d heard that sound was the day of the outbreak, almost 25 years earlier, and a plane had almost come down on your head.

You were walking home from the clinic and you ran the rest of the way to your house.

“Joel!” You yelled the second you were in the door, but you didn’t have to go far to find him. He was sitting on the floor of your living room, playing with Sylvie.

“Baby?” He frowned, a doll in his large hands as Sylvie held the bottle and sat on his lap. “What’s goin’ on, everything OK?”

“There was a plane,” you said, breathless, eyes wide. “Overhead, outside. There’s a plane.”

“A plane?” He raised his eyebrows. “You’re sure?”

“Damn sure,” you said and then you laughed a little. “People are flying again. There was a fucking plane.”

That was when you got your idea. It was probably a damned stupid idea but it was an idea.

Maria and the rest of the council had been getting regular updates from the outside world since the drug had started being distributed. Things were changing, quickly.

Now that traveling was safer, people started moving a bit more freely. Caravans started first, then train lines opened. It didn’t take long for FEDRA to fall and be replaced with a government more closely resembling the former United States.

Now that there were planes running again, you imagined that meant things were stabilizing. And if things were stable - if people could travel across the country - maybe you could do the one thing you’d wanted to do since coming to Jackson: See if Andrew and Jess would join you.

You missed them and Elizabeth and Jonah fiercely. They were still young enough that they could have a childhood here, that they could learn and grow and lead something close to a normal life here.

Talking Maria and the council into it had been surprisingly simple. Jess’ psychology training would be a boon, adding more children to the community was welcome. And you got the impression that, after five years of treating the people here at the clinic, they wanted to do something for you. There was a train line that ran to Salt Lake City from Boston, and you radioed Andrew for the first time in almost five years.

“Holy shit!” He said when Abe got him and put him on the line. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again, I have so much to tell you…”

“I have a lot to tell you, too,” you said, trying not to cry at the sound of his voice. “But I wanted to ask… How attached are you and Jess to Boston? Feel like hopping on a train west and starting over? I promise, where I live? It’s worth it.”

They came out a few months later and you were there, back in Salt Lake City with Joel and extra horses, meeting them. It was the second time you’d been reunited with someone you loved on your birthday.

You recognized Elizabeth immediately as she jumped out of the carriage first, even though she was far taller now than she had been the last time you saw her. You had to stop yourself from crying. Jonah was next, then Jess, then Andrew.

“Hey!” You started running for them. Andrew saw you then, dropping his pack and running for you, the two of you slamming into each other so hard you were sure Joel heard the thud.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” he said as you clung to him. “Holy shit I missed you…”

“I missed you, too,” you said, choked up. “So much has happened and I kept wanting to tell you fucking everything and I couldn’t and it sucked!”

“Me too,” he laughed. “Me too.”

It took you five days to make it back to Jackson, giving you plenty of time to catch up. Things got worse in Boston after you left. FEDRA’s grip tightened, life becoming more and more locked down. Andrew and Jess did everything they could for their children, trying to give them a normal life but there was only so much they could really do for them. They’d been looking for a place to go when you’d radioed.

Andrew wasn’t shocked that you and Joel had ended up together. He was a little more surprised that you’d had a baby, though.

“I’m so happy for you,” he said, looking a little teary. “You deserve it. You have for so long but I’m so glad you finally got what you wanted.”

The house behind yours in Jackson was open and they moved in there. After giving them a few days to settle in, you invited them over for dinner and game night with the kids. There were so many people, your kitchen table had never seemed quite so small. You loved it.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” you said, hugging Andrew goodbye as his family left for the short walk back home.

“Me too,” he said. “The codependency squad is back in the same place and all is right with the world.”

You laughed and the two of you watched as Lizzy twirled with Sylvie on your back deck, Ellie playing guitar perched on the steps, Jonah watching her, enraptured. Joel put his arm around your shoulders and you leaned your head against him as Jess slipped her hand into her husband’s.

“See you around?” He asked.

“Don’t think you’ve got another choice,” you smiled.

Sylvie went down easy that night, worn out from playing with her newfound cousins. You could still hear the quiet chords as Ellie practiced guitar in her room.

“Night Ellie,” you called as you went to close your bedroom door. “Don’t stay up too late, guitar down soon.”

“I’ll take it easy,” she called back. “Night Mom, night Dad.”

“Can’t say I ever thought I’d be hosting a game night for anyone,” Joel said as you both climbed in bed and turned out the light.

You laughed.

“Me either,” you said. “Crazy what five years can do.”

You snuggled up against him and he put his arm around you, kissing your cheek, working his way down to your jaw and then to your mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing there, Mr. Miller?” You teased, your arm going around his waist. He was softer and thicker there now, but you liked it. A sign of the fact that he wasn’t struggling anymore, proof that he was still here to grow old with you, raise your daughters with you.

“Gettin’ my hopes up, Mrs. Miller,” he said, voice low as his hand slipped below your tank top and found your breast, holding you gently, his thumb brushing your nipple.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to let you down,” you smiled against his mouth and he pressed you closer.

You hooked a leg over his hip and ground your aching core against his already hard length. It didn’t seem to matter that you were 50 years old now, that you’d first slept with him almost 30 years before, that he was there in your bed every night, you always seemed to want him and he always seemed to want you.

He slipped the straps of your tank top down and off, tugging the fabric to the top of your shorts before kissing down your throat to your bare chest. He kissed along the curve of you there, his lips and tongue and teeth brushing along the tender flesh until he sucked your nipple into his mouth and moaned around you, teasing you with his tongue. You groaned and instinctively rocked your hips against nothing, already desperate and needy for him. He moved to your other breast, giving in the same treatment as he held the first one in his large hand, gently rolling your peaked nipple between his thumb and finger.

“Joel,” you breathed, arching your back into him.

“Someone sounds needy,” he breathed, pressing his lips to your sternum and kissing down your stomach - still soft from when you’d carried Sylvie years before. Joel had never seemed to mind.

“I am,” you groaned as he tugged down your shorts and panties, taking the tank top with them, leaving you naked before him. “Fuck, I need you…”

“Can’t let you go unsatisfied now, can we?” He asked, spreading your legs and settling between them. He put your thighs over his shoulders and he teased his tongue along your seam, curling it around your already swollen clit. He hummed in approval.

“Taste fuckin’ delicious,” he said, licking you again. “Can’t believe this pussy is all mine…”

“All yours, Joel,” you groaned as he pressed his tongue into your aching entrance, making you gasp.

He ate you gently at first, his lips and tongue working with his fingers as they softly toyed with your clit. But your husband knew your body well, maybe better than you, and the second he could feel you starting to tighten around him, he was harsher, more eager. His beard scratched against your sensitive skin as he pressed his tongue deep, his nose against your clit as he swallowed up your wetness, two of his fingers hooking inside of you so that they plunged deep as his tongue pulled back, one always replacing the other so you got the delicious friction and push and pull without ever feeling empty.

“Joel,” you panted, your fingers winding in his hair, your hips rocking against his face. You felt the edges of his mouth pull up but he didn’t slow his pace, not even as you exploded around him, your grip on his hair tightening. He ate at you until your orgasm eased and you were left, pliant and gasping for breath, below him.

“That’s my girl,” he said, crawling up your body and wiping your slick on the back of his hand before he settled himself between your thighs. His thick, heavy length brushed against your dripping sex and he kissed you, tasting like toothpaste and your own cum. You looped your arms around his neck as he pressed just the head of himself into you, the stretch at your entrance delicious enough to make your back arch into him.

“I want you,” you breathed when he pulled back from your lips enough for you to speak. “Please…”

“Past wanting you,” he said, sliding himself into you inch by devastating inch. “Past needing you, too. Don’t think there’s a word for how much I want and need you, Baby…”

You whimpered below him as he sank into your body until he was fully within you, your channel feeling so full and stretched but so damn satisfied.

“Belong inside of you,” he leaned down to kiss your throat. “Made to be inside you…”

You wanted to say something back but could only moan as he started to move inside you, his thick cock dragging along your inner walls, his head catching on every ridge of you as he worked his length within you.

He started out faster and harder, your nails digging into his back, the air getting knocked out of you in little gasps with every snap of his hips. Your second orgasm was building fast and, when you began to tighten around him, he pressed as deep as he could reach, slowing is pace so you could feel every exquisite movement.

“You’re gettin’ close,” he panted, hips moving slow and steady, pressing yours down into the bed so firmly you wondered if you were going to have a bruise in the morning. You didn’t care. “Can feel it, you always get so goddamn tight right before, Baby, love feelin’ you like this…”

“Can’t help it,” you were keening below him, doing everything you could to take him deep. “You feel too good, Joel I can’t…”

“Cum for me,” his whole body was covering yours, every inch of him against or within you. “Need to feel you, Baby, need to feel this pussy - my pussy - cum on me…”

“Fuck!” You gasped as your walls fluttered around you and he let out a strangled moan as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it, Baby,” he sounded almost choked up, straining to hold off his own orgasm for another minute. “Doing so good for me, takin’ me so well, feelin’ so goddamn good…”

Your orgasm faded and he all put ripped himself from your body before pressing his cock head against your clit and spilling his seed over you there, his warm cum making your oversensitive, wrung-out nub throb.

“Fuck Baby,” he collapsed next to you for a moment before he reached into his bedside table and grabbed a clean washcloth, reaching between your legs to wipe away the combination of his spend and your slick. “How are you always that fuckin’ incredible?”

“If you were made for me then I was made for you,” you said, still catching your breath as you rolled to wrap around him. He pulled your naked body tightly to his own and dropped the washcloth on his nightstand, next to the candle you’d made the year before. It was lavender scented, made with oils taken from the plants you’d grown in your back yard. They came from the buds you’d taken from Bill and Frank’s when you first headed west. You’d made several of the candles, liking the fact that the smell helped reduce stress and anxiety. You, Joel and Ellie had seen enough of that in your lives.

Your mind drifted as you lay in your husband’s arms. You drifted through the past 30 years of your lives, the pain of deep loss, the profound connection to the people you’d come to love, the life you’d built with Joel in Jackson. You thought of your daughters that were here with you and the daughters you lost - Sarah and your unborn child. You’d started picturing her as a girl, always a girl. Joel, you were certain, was built for raising incredible girls. He’d done it with Sarah and now he was doing it with Ellie and Sylvie, too. He’d have done that with the baby you lost, too. You could feel it. That feeling hurt less now with Joel beside you.

You thought of Joel playing guitar in your living room, next to the pictures of Sarah and Tess and a sketch you’d made of Ellie and Sylvie. You thought of the way he called you and Ellie and Sylvie “his girls” as though you were everything that mattered to him. You thought of the way that, even as he’d fought to push you away for so long, you kept finding each other again and again because there was something inside of you both that was always reaching for the other. You were made for him and he was made for you. Of that, you were certain.

His lips found the top of your head, his hands splayed wide over your back as he held onto you.

“Love you, Baby,” he whispered in the dark. “More than anything. Always have, always will.”

“Always love you, Joel,” you whispered back. “Until the day I die.”

You drifted off to sleep in his arms, in your home with the family you’d built with the man you were always meant to find. He was yours, you were his and you were happy.

A/N: I can't believe it's over! I sincerely hope you are happy with where Joel, Doc and Ellie wound up in Jackson. They're finally all at a point where they can do more than survive, they can thrive together, just like they were always meant to.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you times a million for reading this story. Your kindness, love and support have meant so much as I've written this piece. I don't think it's possible to thank you enough for that, so I'll just say it again: Thank you.

If you've ever liked a chapter, commented, reblogged, anything at all, please know that I appreciate you. Every notification I got on this fic made me smile. You helped make this journey an absolute joy.

I did start a new fic, called Yearling. It's another TLOU Joel fic and you can find it here.

I'm not great at goodbyes so I'll just say this: See you around. I hope you'll join me on another adventure one day. Until then, take care of yourselves, spread some kindness and share love when you can. I love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi@candypeaches16@kittenlittle24@wrappedinfiction@oatmeaiboy@pedritosdarling@winchestergypsy90@imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1@mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes@pedrosaidsheispunk@commanderawkward@n7cje@elliesgirlll@tsunamistorm123@spookyxsam@leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81 @pedropascalfan221 @pedr0swh0r3 @pedrobae@fifia-writes@fatima-marisa @acf2023 @1soff@encephalitiskat @ashleymsnodgrass @karlinspace

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #lavender

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rollingaroundin-bread · 11 months

Text

Hi 🥺 what if they- 👉👈 what if they got mawwied???? 💕💕💕

Okay hi I’ve been working on these on and off all month (mostly off I got really busy whoops) and I have A LOT of thoughts about a Legbone wedding (ft. the drawtectives cause they really are my blorbos)

Anyways here’s a list of headcannons that I didn’t get to draw:

So right off the bat let’s talk OUTFITS

To me Legzi and Ryjinah had gone looking for dresses but Legzi wasn’t really pumped about any of them

So maybe they went on a road trip (because ladies bookclub road trips my beloved) to either go look in a different boutique or to do other wedding related shenanigans

And on the side of the road Legzi spots this rag

And of course it’s a torn up wedding dress and suddenly she has a Vision^TM

Just Legzi being more excited about fixing up this dress than anything she could have just bought up to that point

Because to me Legzi is someone who loves to feel like a part of the process and having all her random skills she picked up from Darkmouth

Then design wise I wanted something puffy so I could hide how much taller I made her

Because personally I think her using the leg stilts on her wedding day is not only very Legzi^TM but I also made myself laugh with the concept :)

And florals because those are fun, green, and easy to make by hand (as someone who’s made a lot of ribbon flowers)!! The vines were places where the dress was really torn and needed more structural stitching

Ryjinahs dress on the other hand I wanted to take some inspiration from her season 1 design (even though I haven’t seen it)

Also I love a chance to draw some boob

so anyways York’s invitation

I’ve said it before but “artists draw fan art of each other’s art” where Karina drew Ryjinah, York, Rowan, and Jacob horse all hanging out is CANON TO ME

Which is why all of those characters were invited!! :)

Anyways I imagine all the invitations had your standard stuff- names, dates, rsvp section

But where it would’ve said +1 I think Ryjinah scribbled that out and hand wrote “+2 ;)”

Which of course Grandma would be slightly flustered by meanwhile York is like “AWESOME you guys can come!!!”

I believe in drawtectives polycule supremacy and also York is aroace

Which also lead to my miniature leg wrestling joke :)

Oh but the second York and Rah’ōxah lock eyes they’re going to leg wrestle (Pokémon rules)

Then they can become friends too and we can make Julia’s drawing in “pro artists redraw their old OCs” canon!!!

Rah’ōxah is both Legzi and Ryjinahs maid of honor :)

She’s awesome of course she can do both!!!!!!

I wish I had drawn this but to me Parker the cat officiated :)

Maybe while standing on top of Parker the horse

Ryjinah was not pleased with this but also couldn’t say no to the combined force of Legzi and Rah’ōxah’s puppy dog eyes

Plus Parker the cat is the only person (cat) they know who’s ordained

Oh last thing I wanted to but didn’t draw was a Rosé & Rowan interaction

Or not even so much of an interaction but they catch each other’s gaze from across the room and freeze

Oh more headcannons but they’re siblings to me

I mean dyed hair? Knives? Mysterious pasts? Color schemes?? Attracted to himbos???

Anyways they both have moved on from their family in different directions

So to suddenly meet again even from across the room

Then York or Gramdma calls for Rosé and she looks away and they’re gone

But I digress

Tbh for everyone’s outfits I kinda just went “you know what would be cute???”

So floral dress for grandma (obviously)

Jumpsuit + long gloves for Rosé because vibes

Unbuttoned shirt and double breasted vest for York so he doesn’t have sleeves

Similar thought process for Rah’ōxah because they give off similar vibes BUT I made Rah’ōxah’s the same colors as Ryjinah and Legzi so she could match both :)

Then a demon Johnny button on her outer vest kinda like the pin/broach she has in Julia’s drawing in pro artists redraw old OCs

Rowan I just wanted to look swanky and what’s more swanky than a tailcoat?

And for everyone but Rah’ōxah I tried to keep to their normal color schemes!! :)

Are all these outfits practical for what I made a beach wedding on a whim? Absolutely not

I gave pretty much all of them some sort of heels even if they are technically wedges which is better but STILL

Beaches are fun and easy ish to draw and I never do backgrounds anyways give me a break lol

But anyways I think that’s all my thoughts!!!

So Legzi & Ryjinah ride into the sunset on their noble steed Jacob Horse :)

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crisiscutie · 1 year

Note

Can you please do a self-aware sephiroth X shy bullied reader

So I'm not super familiar with self-aware AUs as I only read a handful of them. Regardless, I am interested in this idea and wanna take a shot at it. Featuring Mr. Strife himself.

Content Warnings: Bullying, Emotional Manipulation.

After a rough day, you head home, hoping to play some FF7R to cool off.

You’re at the part where Cloud “met” Sephiroth for the first time, where he hallucinated his razed hometown.

Sephiroth knew you were there. Not present in his world, but present as an observer, watching him terrorize poor Cloud. You perplexed him. How are you able to spectate them? How are you bending Cloud to your will?

And he wondered; when Cloud was in despair, did you enjoy it, or did you feel sorry for him?

Your face showed no emotion to it. But your skin crawled when you watched the scene, so you turned off the game after it. You’d suffered too much already; why did you have to go through it all over again through Cloud?

You saw yourself in Cloud and understood his struggles. You felt a sense of dread and helplessness whenever you’re around your tormentors, much like Cloud with Sephiroth.

You haven’t played FF7R as much because of that scene. And your torment has gotten worse.

You were thankful when the next month arrived, your tormentors were nowhere to be found. Was there something that they would rather do instead? Someone better to pick on?

You later discovered that they went missing. At their last known location, the evidence left behind was a mysterious pile of dark feathers.

You became more happy, now with them gone. You found yourself opening up to others slightly (through, still shy) and being more drawn to playing games.

The next time you played FF7 Remake, you had the most fun. You loved picking flowers with Aerith, dressing Cloud up, fighting fun bosses and experiencing other great moments. You binged through the game on your endorphin rush.

You were glad that Cloud was your link to this wonderful, fictional world. It has been a pleasure to observe his growth and him experiencing one interesting event after another.

But whenever Sephiroth appeared on the screen, you felt dread creep up your body. The way the camera focused on his face made it worse. His gaze was so strong, it’s almost as if he wanted to drag you toward him.

The glares, the smug smiles, and his other feral expressions. He wasn’t just directing them at Cloud, but also YOU.

You decide to ignore the eeriness, chalking it up to the great cinematography of the game. Of course, it’s meant to feel like that from a literary perspective.

Sephiroth mentally noted your visible unease and smirked. Such a pitiful human...

Getting involved in lowly human issues like “bullying” wouldn’t interest him, but he had to get rid of your tormentors. He needed you to keep playing the game. He wanted to observe YOU, as you observed the versions of him throughout the game.

He used astral projection into the real world, an ability he gained from traveling in the Edge of Creation. Though he could not stay in that form for long. It was strange how different, but so similar, our world felt to him.

He used most of his energy to track you. Even with your tormentors gone, you were still shy. You had the strength within you to become stronger. You don’t have to be timid or be walked on by someone else. You reminded him of Cloud, somewhat.

When you got to the end of FF7R, when Sephiroth and Cloud had their showdown at the Edge of Creation, you started feeling that same eeriness from earlier.

When Sephiroth talked about not wanting to end, you somehow resonated with him. It’s a deep-seated need in all of us to make lasting impacts and stand out from the crowd.

You now wanted to be someone greater. Someone who was confident, not timid, and unwavering in the face of adversity.

Sephiroth smiled as he saw the impact his words had on you and Cloud. He will find you to be a valuable asset.

He knows how you guided Cloud and his party. You’re no longer a mere spectator, you’re a playmaker. If only you could recognize the immense power you wield over their lives, and the world they know.

Cloud himself always felt your presence. But he hadn’t been conscious of it until Sephiroth brought it up.

He now understands that your existence contributes to the torment that Sephiroth is inflicting upon him.

His poor soul was overwhelmed and confused, struggling to make sense of it all. He was powerless to alter his own fate, and it frustrated him. The pain and anguish he experienced was unbearable, yet some powerful outsider just watched him go through it?

But… not all of it was bad. The good times Cloud had couldn’t be ignored. Your presence gave him the chance to have cherished moments with his loved ones. And he had good moments with you as well.

You made him feel invincible in combat; you got him and his friends out of difficult predicaments, pushed him to get better like Sephiroth (just not in a traumatizing way ofc).

His heart is set on meeting you. He’s not ready to trust you. But maybe you can alter his destiny if your intentions aren’t dark like Sephiroth’s?

Sephiroth was deeply interested in the special connection between you and Cloud. That is how he will get to you. Through Cloud. One puppet to another. He will still observe you in his astral projection form when the stars align for it.

Oh, the joy he’ll have when exploiting that connection. When good times come, despair lurks behind, like a shadow. The closer you are to Cloud, the closer he is to you, and vice versa. The three of you together would be unstoppable. You can will change their fates.

Though it seems like he would have to push you. Just like he pushed Cloud.

He found your shyness cute and amusing at times. Though, it would have to be broken, eventually. He will mold you into the perfect pawn.

You turned the game off after watching the credits. You’re exhausted after playing FF7R for so long. You ready yourself for bed, turning off your bedroom lights.

As you drift into your slumber, a gentle, deep voice echoes around you in the darkness.

“Through suffering, you will grow strong.“

Author note: I went with 7R Sephiroth because I love to hate this creepy, magnificent bastard and there are already several hints of his self-awareness. Cloud’s inclusion was absolutely necessary to go with the self-aware theme (in my opinion). This was an interesting idea to work with, thanks!

#sephiroth x reader #cloud strife x reader #a dose of Sefikura if you squint #self aware final fantasy #final fantasy x reader #final fantasy 7 x reader #ff7 sephiroth #tw: bullying #tw: emotional manipulation #self aware au #self aware #sephiroth #cloud strife #ff7 #ff7 x reader #final fantasy 7

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lovelytsunoda · 2 years

Text

teenage dream // george russell

summary: george goes all out when he finds out his girlfriend missed out on the experience of having a teenage romance.

pairing: george russell x female reader

warnings: mentions of sex & suggestive content, inexperienced reader. geochalex being chaotic.

authors note: welcome to the katy perry throwback series! lately I’ve been shockingly into her first two albums so here I give you a series for basically anybody I usually write for that wasn’t covered by the one direction series.

this one is so personal to me because I also missed out on having a teenage romance so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do.

“so, george, how’s y/n?”

the mercedes driver rolled his eyes, sticking his middle finger up at the computer screen even though he knew alex couldn’t see, the screen filled with the latest game of apex legends that he and his closest friends were playing to waste the night from their respective parts of europe.

“she’s great, we’re great.”

he could practically hear charles rolling his eyes. “you’ve been acting strange for the past week and a bit, something is wrong mate.”

“nothing is wrong. in fact, since she moved in with me, I think our relationship has gotten stronger.”

“have you guys…” alex trailed off before clearing his throat “you know, have you guys had sex yet?”

“I don’t understand how that’s any of your business, alexander.” george huffed, leaning back in his gaming chair.

but the truth was, he hadn’t slept with y/n yet, and it was starting to make him nervous, wondering if he was doing something wrong.

she was so shy and quiet that it had taken the brit two months just to make sure that kissing her wouldn’t scare y/n off.

they’d been together for just under a year, and the farthest they had gotten to having intercourse was y/n letting george go down on her.

he had never even seen her without a shirt on.

“It’s my business because it’s weighing on your mind and it’s bothering you. we just want to help you.”

“well, no. we haven’t.” george sighed, pausing the game and running his hands over his face. “I know she’s shy, and she’s nervous, but she means so much to me and it’s killing me to think that I might not be making her comfortable enough for her to let me see her like that, or maybe she feels like she can’t talk to me about it-“

“george.” charles cut him off. “I know you want to avoid this conversation, but I think you need to talk to her about this if it’s bothering you so much.”

“I know, I just-“

“georgie? it’s late, baby. come to bed.”

george smiled, turning slowly in his chair, eyes lighting up when he saw y/n standing in the doorway. the love of his life was dressed in her favourite short-sleeved flannel pajama set: white with soft pink hydrangea flowers dotting the fabric.

“yeah, baby, I’ll be up in a second.”

“is that y/n?” alex shouted, his voice carrying through the headphones george was wearing. “hi y/n!”

“is that alex? can i say hello?” y/n smiled, reaching out a hand for the headphones.

george passed them to her, and she slipped them over her head. “hi alex, hi charles.”

“hi y/n!” both drivers chorused.

“lily wants to know how book club went? she wants to know what book to go out and buy next.” alex starting talking, charles quick to talk over him.

“I think george needs some attention, hes been spending too much time moping lately.” charles interjected. “he sounds like a man who needs his dick suck-“

“okay, charles, that’s enough,” george cut the monegasque off mid sentence, taking the headphones back. “good night, jackasses. I’ll call you in the morning.”

half an hour later, y/n was curled up in bed with a copy of lucy foleys ‘the guest list’, smelling like bath and body works and looking stunning, reading glasses perched on her nose.

george slipped into bed next to her, her eyes instantly drawn to the tight cotton shirt he was wearing, the hen tucked loosely into his flannel pajama pants with the different marvel superheroes on them. she bookmarked her page, placing the paperback on her nightstand before leaning over and quickly pressing a kiss to george’s lips.

“good night, gorgeous.” she said softly, slipping underneath the covers and curling into georges side.

george hesitated. “actually, honey bear, there’s something i wanted to talk to you about.”

a worried expression formed on y/n’s face, a bad feeling forming in the pit of her stomach.

“baby, what’s wrong?”

“it’s nothing bad, don’t be scared. I just, I was thinking earlier that we’ve been together a year now, and I’ve never seen you take your shirt off, and we’ve never really been intimate in the sense that we haven’t….”

“we haven’t fucked yet, right.” y/n said softly, lacing her fingers with his. “georgie, I’ve never told you this, but you’re my first everything. I never had the experiences that most people my age have, I never had a high school love, never had a one night stand at a college party. I’d never even been kissed before you.”

george felt like an asshole. “honey bear, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. please don’t feel like I’m pressuring you. we can take this at your own pace, whenever you feel ready, I’m be right here. I love you, angel.”

“I love you too.”

as george fell asleep that night with y/n in his arms, all he could think about was all the experiences that y/n must have missed out on.

and what he could do to make them all up to her.

———————————

you think I’m pretty, without any makeup on

y/n stood in the middle in the ensuite bathroom, dragging a plastic brush through her hair as she stared at her plain, delicate face in the mirror, an unopened tube of mascara lying on the countertop as george came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“you look beautiful, honey bear.” the mercedes’ driver cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck, twisting the urge to slide his hands up the front of her white blouse.

he would wait for her to tell him when she was ready.

“thanks, babe.” she smiled softly, and it set butterflies loose in the drivers stomach.

she truly was perfect.

as y/n reached for the mascara tube, george slapped her hand away. “you don’t need that. you’re stunning without any makeup whatsoever.”

———————————

now every februrary you’ll be my valentine

it was late when she got home, and the large house, the house that usually felt somewhat less cavernous and wide when her boyfriend was around, felt empty like it had ever since george had left for bahrain. she had gone with him to the airport in gatwick and had cried before reluctantly letting him go with the rest of the mercedes team.

being a working woman and dating a man with a schedule as complicated as George’s wasn’t always easy, but she kept saying she could handle it.

she leaned over the post box to check for mail, her foot caught the edge of something soft.

she looked down, her heart filling with love as she looked at the massive bouquet of roses sitting on the front stoop, an envelope tacked to the front.

“oh, georgie.” she said to herself with a smile, struggling to hold the bouquet and get the door open at the same time.

after getting herself settled inside the house, and placing the roses in a vase on the kitchen table, she opened the card.

hope you had a good day at work, my love. miss you lots already. it’s way too hot here, and this is supposed to still be winter weather. hope you’re keeping warm!

love you, my valentine.

- george

with a giggle, she pulled out her phone to video call george and thank him in person. because of time zones, she wasn’t sure if george would even still be awake.

“george’s phone.”

“hi, toto.” y/n grinned, waving at the austrian.

george’s team principal had quickly become a very important person in the young couples lives, and whenever y/n needed to talk to someone who knew what dating a driver was like, and the mental toll that the constant weekends away that she couldn’t follow her lover for was pressing in on her, she found comfort in talking to totos wife susie.

“ah, y/n! you look well! george just came back from a meeting with his strategist, let me go find him for you.”

“thanks, toto. tell susie I miss her, we should get coffee next time she’s in london.”

moments later, george was on the phone, his smiling face and wide blue eyes filling the camera.

“hi honey bear! did you get the flowers?”

y/n giggled. “of course I got the flowers! babe, valentines day was weeks ago. you didn’t need to get me more roses. carnations would have done just fine.”

“but you’re my valentine all year round, darling.” george continued, a wide, lovesick smile on his face that made her heart swell.

“I love you, you big idiot.”

“I’m offended.” george joked, pretending to be upset at the jibe. “I love you too, baby. I’ll be home real soon, and I can’t wait to have you with me in australia.”

———————————

let’s go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love

“he crosses the line, and george russell is your pole sitter this hungarian grand prix !!”

y/n was ecstatic, jumping up and down excitedly in the lounge area of the garage, bright green mercedes headphones over her ears. she was beyond proud, watching the green and silver car back into the garage, the engineers, mechanics and strategists getting to their feet and cheering for the driver as he stepped out of the car.

y/n took off her headphones, hanging them over the monitor before she ran over to her boyfriend, her entire body seized with want as george ran his fingers through his hair, race suit tied low around his hips, abs straining against the fireproofs he wore underneath.

“I’m so proud of you!” she gushed, throwing her arms around george as he picked her up, spinning around in a few quick circles before he placed her back on the ground, kissing her hard and deep.

“we should celebrate.” george said gleefully, still trying to catch his breath. “order room service, watch an absurd comedy movie, maybe something with zombies? and then we’ll cuddle. lots and lots of cuddles, I think.”

that was what sealed the deal for y/n. she had already decided that hungary was going to be the weekend. the weekend that she gave george her everything, let him see her completely.

she kissed him softly, one hand slowly sliding down his chest. “or, I think I have a better idea.”

“yeah?“ george hummed. “what’s that?”

“I’m ready, george.” she said softly, slipping her hand down the front of his race suit to play with the waistband of his jack & jones underwear. “I want you.”

the drivers breath hitched. “seriously? god, I love you.” he kissed her quickly, pulling her close. “if you can contain yourself for an hour while I do media, I’m gonna take you back to our hotel and show you just how much i absolutely adore you.”

aside from when he went to the media pen, y/n was always at his side, their hands clasped together. the tire drive home, george always kept one hand on the wheel and one hand with hers. when they got to the hotel, he swept her off her feet, carrying her bridal style back to the room before laying her softly on the bed, leaning over her body to kiss her.

“I love you so much, baby. you’re in control tonight, okay? this is all about you, and I want you to feel how much I love you.”

later, after they had both come ( and it was the quickest george had ever come but he wasn’t even complaining about it because absolutely nothing could compare to the feeling of finally doing it with y/n, the love of his life) they were curled up next to each other, still fully undressed as george peppered her shoulder with gentle kisses, y/n sighing contentedly in his arms.

“you okay, honey bear?” he said quietly, voice husky. “do you need anything? glass of water, a coffee?”

y/n turned around in his arms, gently kissing the bridge of his nose. “I’m okay, baby. just a little cold. can you grab me a shirt?”

george was out of the bed in a flash, rotting around in his suitcase for a fresh shirt. one that he had worn already simply wouldn’t do for his princess.

he playfully tossed her the cotton tee before rooting around in y/ns suitcase for the large plastic hairbrush before rejoining his girlfriend in bed, overcome with love as he sat behind her, running the brush through her hair.

“can we still order room service? I was thinking about that the entire cool down lap and now I’m all excited.”

y/n laughed. “of course we are. and we’re watching the hangover as well, just like we had already planned.”

and then they kissed.

———————————

got a motel and built a fort out of sheets.

the house was dark when y/n came home. she had gotten stuck in traffic on her way out of london and wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry. george wasn’t due home from belgium for at least another twelve hours, and she had never missed the man more.

she was sweating in the summer heat, white tennis skirt sticking to her body as she took her high heels off, enjoining the feeling of her bare feet on the marble tiles as she crossed into the kitchen.

she had missed the suitcases sitting in the doorway.

y/n froze when she made it to the kitchen, staring in the direction of the den that lead out to the patio. the dining room chairs had all been pushed into the living room, in a large circle, draped in the grey cotton sheets from her and georges bed, a soft glow coming from inside.

and in the middle of it all was the man himself, george emerging from the sheet-fort to simply say “hi honey.”

“georgie!” she shouted, launching herself at the driver and wrapping him in a hug, peppering his face in kisses before their lips finally meet. “but how?”

“I got toto to put me on an earlier flight. I just had to come home to my girl.” the driver grinned, kissing y/n again. “come, let us waste the night away in my humble blanket fort.” george grinned to himself, pulling the sheets back to allow her to crawl into the fort.

the floor of the fort was covered in pillows, the duvet from the bed spread across the floor, fluffy blanket lying on top. an unmarked pizza box from costco sat on a tray in the middle, a projector pointed at the sheets.

“george, this is amazing.”

“anything for you, my sweet valentine.” george hummed, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a gentle kiss to her head.

“hangover part two?” y/n suggests, powering on the projector

“hangover part two.”

#lovelytsunodas katy perry series #george russell x reader #formula one x reader #f1 imagine #george russell #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #Spotify

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avocadosharks · 9 months

Text

a snippet of my new noco fic voicemails to a ghost inspired by @eavee-ry 's au :)

read on ao3 here

____________________

It’s been months since the door at the end of the hall was last opened.

There was a small table blocking the entrance. It didn’t hold much- only a singular photo sealed in a teal frame with dying flower petals circling the faded wood around it. There was a flickering tea light illuminating the haunted door behind it in a golden hue, creating ghostly shadows around the doorknob as the wax slowly withered away. Small tokens were scattered around the four corners of the table in the hope that one day, their owner would return to collect what was his.

On the other side of the door, though, sat a cold and vacant bedroom with crisp sheets pulled tightly around the corners of the made bed. The blankets were so smooth and his indent in the mattress began to fluff back up in his absence. Somewhere in the room, a clock ticked quietly. His desk was neat and organized. His books were still lined up by color on his shelf, yet, a thin layer of dust began to dull them. The curtains were drawn and the shades had long been tugged down. Everything was exactly how he left it- an artifact frozen in time.

But occasionally, life would be breathed back into it. A phone that would forever be plugged in would light up and bring the only light the place had left to see, casting a bright blue beam onto the blackened, dead shadows on the walls. It would buzz and buzz until the screen went dark, letting the shadows take over again.

“You’ve reached Noah, leave a message…or don’t, I don’t care.”

Cody sighs. “He-hey man, um, I’m just getting ready to go on a drive and I figured that…I could use the company, but…” He shrugs on a raincoat over his hoodie, his words fading quickly and he clears his throat.

He steps out into the early morning and his ragged breathing comes out in whisps as he fishes for his keys deep in his pocket, sandwiching his phone between his cheek and shoulder. “You know, I, uh, never really got my brake lights fixed, so I’m hoping I don’t get pulled over or something because that would really, really suck…I didn’t even know that not having functioning brake lights was a ticketable offense until you told me.” Cody slides into the driver’s seat and pauses for a moment, staring back into the glassy, exhausted eyes looking at him.

“I’m sorry to call you so late, Noah. You really hated how I used to toss and turn all night at-” His voice catches, “-at camp and, uh, for a second I…I was sleeping. But, I haven’t been able to for a while now and I just really needed to do something, so here I am. Driving.”

He pauses again, swallowing against his clamped throat as he jams his key into the ignition. The car engine shudders beneath him and the dull glow of the headlights offers some visibility as he twists around, pulling out of his driveway.

“Do you remember that first day at the camp? When everyone got off the boat and we were meeting each other?” Cody starts.

The lake water was the bluest Cody had ever seen it. It was the beginning of summer and he could practically smell the money through the stench of the dusty cabins and pine trees. He was young and dumb and excited, gripping the railing of the speedboat to lean forward over the water with a grin so wide, he could see it in the reflection as they sped to the island.

There were already people on the dock and the first person he noticed was that black-haired girl. She had deep teal lips and porcelain skin with eyes that seemed to cut into him as he hopped off the boat. He noted how she seemed to watch him as he greeted Chris. He knew that his chest seemed to pound as he approached the girls, knowing to flash an easy smile, but making sure to eye only her as he did.

She was pretty. Not intimidatingly gorgeous like the girl in the red tube top or hot like the blonde-haired girl. She was shy and pretty and had a raspy voice that made his spine shudder, but that’s exactly what Cody liked.

Then, as he walked over to the boys, he saw Noah. And Noah was beautiful.

#total drama #total drama noah #total drama cody #noco #writing #island of the slaughtered #live laugh noco fr #its probably one of the darkest things I've written #noah x cody

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neptunes-sol-angel · 2 years

Text

•°♤°~Words From the Dark Divine Feminine •°♤°~

~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•~°•

ANNOUNCEMENT

Before I begin this, I just wanted to apologize for the sudden disappearance. Abruptly, I had a tower moment that I needed to take care of, not only was I not in the right mind space to continue posting content, but I literally can’t channel anything for the collective when I am in a low state because nothing will come through except messages that are specifically for me. I had so much anxiety over whether to come back or not because I was stuck with this job, I had absolutely no time for both that and this account and it completely tipped the scale in my work life balance. Not only that, but I went through so many different emotions over how my life was that I just knew that if I ever decided to come back, to do this reading. This felt right, and I’m so proud of this because I was stuck on this for months because I was trying to provide guidance to the collective on lessons that I haven’t even learned from. I had to go through the trials and error, solitude, and the patience to figure out how to turn the light on during a time that just felt too dark. Thank you to all of you that didn’t take it personally and are still here today.

This is a pick a card reading dedicated to speaking about our most taboo of feelings, dark feminine energy isn’t tied to any gender, it’s a part of all of us. Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message.

⚠️WARNING⚠️ These messages are heavy and dark. Specifically speaking, they have mentions of suicidal thoughts and other triggering stuff.

♤Pile I♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Soko - Time Waits for No One

Sharon Clark - I’m Not Afraid of Love

Hiatus Kaiyote - The Lung

Letter - “Why am I so trustworthy? At every opportunity, these people take my heart for granted, and it’s starting to harden to stone. My desire to live in this loveless world is withering away, like ice cream that melts under the sun. It feels destined to perish. Was I made weak? What’s wrong with me? Is my love too much? Did I not love them enough? Please. I’m begging. What can I do to fix me!? God! I hate my femininity so much! I can’t take this pain anymore, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it go away. There’s no need for them to tug at my heart anymore. I’ll rip it out myself and claw at it piece by piece until it is nothing. Anything. Anything to make this curse of emptiness go away”.

Message: Pile one, I hear you. And I’m so proud of you for making space for your discontent for the painful experiences that left you feeling shattered. The only things that are wrong here, is how you were treated. You were never the problem in the first place. Moreover, you are so wrong about yourself, there is no need to be strong when that is already what you are. You are an extremely powerful visionary, and how do I know this? Because you’re right about the world. It’s lacking so much love right now, but with extraordinary eyes like yours, you knew exactly who needed your love at the time. Strength requires courage, and you were brave enough to not only trust others, but trust yourself to give your love, and it doesn’t make you weak, it makes you fierce. People respond with hate to what they fear or don’t understand, so in a loveless world plagued by chains of cruelty that humanity imposes on one another, it’s hard to break out of that when met with a divine gift like yours pile 1. I know it feels like anguish, loss, and that you’re battered and bruised, but instead of you turning into those that hurt you, you stayed true to who you are, and that takes strength, Remember that you hold the power and that people are going to be attracted to the kind of abundance that you have, but once they show themselves as unworthy, reclaim your power back. Love what you have and yourself because loving them wasn’t a loss for you, them not knowing what they had is a loss for them.

♤Pile II♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Lil Nas X - Sun Goes Down

Kari Faux - Chattin Shit

Doechii - Persuasive

Angel Haze - Battle Cry

Letter: “I can feel their stares. Hear their whispers. These people do not respect me. It’s like my past follows me wherever I go. Like it takes the form of a mask that never detaches. Internally, that’s how I feel. When other people take one look at this mask, they only see a distorted statement. But not my truth. They get a picture of what I used to be, but never why. Who cares. As much as I’m not accepted by them, I, however, have accepted them. Shallow and judgmental. I’ve learned at a young age, to just let people talk.

The only person that grimly haunts me, is the one that glares back at me when I look into the mirror. I loathe the feeling of self hatred and disgust. The weakness that I feel over the stoic and stern gaze that people fear, used on me. The grotesque repetition of my noises saying that I’m used up. Spoiled goods. Nothing worth offering. Do I deserve a happy ending? My noise, with hopelessness, solemnly replies ‘no’. Do happily ever afters even exist? Emerging from the dark, a cadaverous finger waves back and forth ‘not quite’.

Then what is the point of living?

To my younger self, who was just a child, I’m sorry that I failed you”.

Message: Pile two, I hear you, and I’m so proud of you for making space for your fear of uncertainty. Immediately, I’m hearing rebuttals from your inner child, furiously shouting ‘NO! don’t you dare give up on us!’. They’re saying you haven’t failed them, but if you decide to throw away your life because you don’t believe that you’re capable and deserving of your blessings, then that’s when you failed them. Stop letting your past provoke you into self-defeatist mindset. Quiet the noise, because it’s not real and the past is no longer here. However, your inner child still is and they feel hurt because the shadow that is haunting you now, was their reality. They’re urging you to know that you can be strong for them because the strength it took for the little version of you to survive all of the wounds and trauma to be the person of today reading this right now, still lies within. Like a movie, why would you turn it off before it even ends? You have so much to life for, they know this, and they want you to keep going because happily ever afters do exist, and reaching it is not only just about you. It’s about alchemezing, turning your life around regardless of your mistakes and the wrong committed against you. To create your own justice for all parts of yourself, especially your inner child.

You are not broken. You are not disgusting. And you are not “used up”. Our bodies are just a shell. It is your soul that matters and it is strong. In your spread, there’s an oracle card with a starfish, liken yourself to the animal when it comes to your losses. It regenerates and it is self-sufficient. I’m getting that you may have had a mother that was absent in your life, and it doesn’t have to mean physically. Water down the bully inside you by reparenting yourself and becoming the nurturer that you’ve always needed.

Tough times are temporary, but are dreadful to experience, but to keep it from overpowering you, remember that it is never you that you should be fighting.

♤Pile III♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Marina and the Diamonds - Primadonna Girl

Willow Smith - Pretty Girlz

SZA - Supermodel

Molly Burch - Needy

Letter: “I stare at the mirror for hours. Trying to find the beauty in my face and body, only to problems that were not there before, then to spend more hours, analyzing how to fix my physical appearance.

With the majority of my 24 hours gone, I use the remainder on lifelessly scrolling down a screen of pretty faces, in acute synchronicity with the tear rolling down my cheek, wondering, ‘how can I be prettier?’.

I compare myself to their lovers. What part(s) of them made you choose them over me? Is it bigger that’s better? Or is it smaller? Is it long? Is it short? Is it lighter? Is it darker? Is it short? Or is it taller? Is it sharper? Or is it rounder? Is it softer? Or is it more defined? Is it it more? Or is it less?

Tell me. What can I do to fix it? I just want everyone to love me”.

Message: Pile three, I hear you, and I’m so proud of you for making space for your body dysmorphia. I wish that you could see how much of a stunningly ravish person that you are.

Beauty is like a succulent. You could be a cactus or aloe vera plant. Very prickly, not so prickly, colorful, monochrome, big, small, you might or might not have flowers. Whether it is water, or aloe, maybe neither, the point is that it’s what it’s inside that matters. Yes, beauty can be physical, but true beauty is within. Self love, like any other love “liberates” like Maya Angelou once said. From conventional to unconventional, accepting and embracing what you have and knowing that regardless of what others say, is still in fact beautiful, is what’s going to set you free from this mirage, because what you have going on inside isn’t going to be conditional. It isn’t going to be based off of what your surroundings say, it isn’t going to be phased by rejection, it isn’t going to be a trend that comes and goes, it isn’t submissive or dominant, it isn’t “activated” by changing yourself or going under the knife, it doesn’t change depending on the person next to you, it doesn’t need to be validated by anyone else.

It’s timeless. It’s one of a kind. It’s pure. Baby, you are so beautiful just the way you are.

♤Pile IV♤

~ Lilith's Jukebox ~

⇆ㅤ ||◁ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

Alex Serra - Outter Space

Pharell - Happy

Marina and the Diamonds - Satisfied

Marina and the Diamonds - Hermit the Frog

Marina and the Diamonds - I am not a Robot

Letter: “For so long, I’ve kept this clean image. Molding myself into something I’m not. Replacing the lego pieces that make me, with a formula calculated for perfection, in exchange for success. I did everything right...so what is this?

I’m malfunctioning trying to decipher if there was an error made somewhere, but I get nothing. I’m stuck. What is this? What is this? What is this? I’m wailing out in confusion ‘WHAT IS THIS???’...Am I going insane?

Why did I sacrifice so much, just to get these results? I wasn’t supposed to get this outcome...If this is one big failure, then who did I really make these choices for?”

Message: Pile four, I hear you, and I am so proud of you for making space for your existential crisis. The answer to your questions is stop saying no to yourself and to start saying no to them.

This path was never for you, but with all of that pressure pressed against you to create a life for others to live vicariously through is difficult to avoid, but your life isn’t over, this “big failure” is your chance to start a new beginning. Start saying yes to your own happiness, say yes to your sanity. Cut the puppet strings, and be free in your own truth, doing what you love and loving what you do.

Release those emotions that you were conditioned to not feel, and relish in what makes you the most passionate, unapologetically. Life isn’t meant for us to work 24/7 to reach an ideal image of success, in fact, many have died trying to by neglecting the same heart that was begging them to stop, because there’s so much more than working a monotonous routine that isn’t even for you. There’s no logic in being care free, stop taking your true self for granted and just flow with whatever will make your heart sing.

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot #tarot readings #psychic #psychic readings #intuitive #intuitive readings #divination #spirituality #occult

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blushedfemme · 4 months

Note

hiyo! i hope youre doing well

i wanted to ask how you figured out you're a stone femme? im a femme too but im just curious, and questioning myself a bit in that regard

i hope thats alright to ask

- sincerely, a black femme lesbian

absolutely alright to ask!! i love talking about my stone identity 💓

from the first time i encountered the concept of stone (while reading stone butch blues and other butchfemme writing as a baby gay) i felt super drawn to it, and i innately understood the mutual protection and the eroticism of stone sex, but as i’d only just realized i was a lesbian i felt unable to claim that identity since i had so little real-life experience. i also was reading more about stone butch (as in top) experiences and feeling so much kinship and love and admiration but since i couldn’t directly relate to those feelings, i felt like i had to be on the outside looking in.

then i entered my first lesbian relationship, my ex was effectively a stone top although she didn’t know/use that term for herself. the sex we had was very much stone sex (to me anyway) and the one hang-up i had about calling it that was the fact that i would eat her out. (i even referred to this act as “sucking her off” or “sucking her dick” bc that’s what we both preferred, which honestly is a very stone way to go about it as well)

it wasn’t until a couple months ago that i saw an ask on butchsince84’s blog about how stone femmes can give head/eat out their partners and still be stone that the lightbulb went off!! and it felt like looking in the mirror and seeing something i didn’t even realize i’d already been wearing, and it fit me perfectly and felt so right.

i think if you find yourself admiring stone butches, if you have strong feelings about stone identity, if you get that wistful tug in your stomach when you see stone lesbians talking about our experiences…. those are all big clues. if you feel disgust or fear or ambivalence over the idea of penetrating a partner, obviously that’s the biggest indicator, but that can be hard to state with certainty if you lack experience or haven’t had the chance to discern your true feelings around sex. stone identity often arises from trauma (that’s certainly an element for me) but it’s also an erotic statement and way of relating to each other sensually and if you get it, you get it ❤️ it’s both very complex and also that simple!

#clarke answers #ask a femme #stone identity #stone femme #high femme

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miyagifangkai · 2 years

Text

Surprise, Surprise!

Tagged: @flowercrowns-goodvibes

Request: if possible could i request an eli x reader set in s5 with his post-hawk persona and after the championship and finding out reader is pregnant? and maybe like the ripple effect it would have on everyone else? honestly you can write whatever you’d like! thanks so much

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Surprise pregnancy, talk

of born gender, angst!!!, cussing!!

Characters Involved: Reader, Hawk/Eli, Miguel, Demetri, Robby, mentions of Johnny and Carmen

Couple Pairing: Hawk/Eli x Reader

!!!THIS HAS NOT BEEN PROOFRED!!! forgive me!!!

A/N: hey! Thank you for the request! You’re always so sweet! 🥰 I hope you enjoy reading. I tweaked some things!

You stared down at the dreaded two lines on the test you had just taken. You were dumbfounded. You look up into the mirror and take in your tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes, “Holy shit,” you whisper to yourself.

You card your hands through your hair and take deep breath and look back down at the test. As your eyes begin to get comfortable you keep staring at your result and your mind wonders you start to think about how you’re going to tell your boyfriend, Eli, about this. You feel your heart rate start to rise. Eli was busy with other things in his life as well, he couldn’t focus on a baby right now. You two haven’t been together for a long time either maybe a couple of months. You had been best friends for years but didn’t make it official until recently. You couldn’t fathom to think about what he’s gonna say or his friends. You felt like they were going to judge you, you just knew it.

Eli had something going on today with his karate which you usually went to and supported him but you haven’t been showing up due to you feeling sick all of the time. You should’ve known since the first week with morning sickness that something was up. But you turned a blind eye and blamed it on something else. Eli started to question as well but you would always change the subject. C’mon, there was no way you were pregnant, right? Hah. Wrong.

You package the test back up to show Eli later. You weren’t sure if you were going to tell him tonight especially when he was at the championship but you had to tell him soon. You just weren’t ready to see his reaction yet. You didn’t think you’d ever be ready to see the look of sadness and regret that he was going to give you. You sigh.

You feel another tear roll down your cheek and you frown.

You decide to go to the championship to see him. You didn’t want to be left alone with your thoughts and the weight of the world on your shoulders for another minute. You get dressed out of your pajamas into something more decent. With shaky hands and another sigh you grab your car keys and decide to take the test as well.

You get in your car and sit there for a few minutes not sure if you wanted to do this; were you ready to ruin his night? Or what if he loses and he’s already down in the dumps and you just make it worse?

You facepalm and lay your head on the steering wheel, “Fuck,” you groan.

You lift your head of the steering wheel and adjust yourself in your seat and start your car.

You make it before Eli is about to take the mat. He spots you and immediately runs over to you his smile quickly dissipating noticing you obviously shaken exterior.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were sick,” he questions.

You decide to shake it off and feign a smile, “I started feeling better. I wanted to come see you.”

Eli gives you a perplexed look but lets it go, “Okay then. I’m next so–”

You grab his hand trying not shake too much, “Then go!” you smile.

Eli gives you a quick hug and runs back over to his Sensei’s. Miguel catches your eye because he was staring at you. You should’ve put makeup on before you came. You were pretty sure the puffy red eyes either made you look high or upset so you knew it would have drawn attention from others.

The fight was extremely intense especially with Eli getting hurt. You almost started crying again, you weren’t sure if it was the hormones but you kept your cool. But seeing Eli lose broke your heart. You knew it broke him too. He tried not to show too much emotion but you knew him too well. There was no way you could tell him now.

Afterwards Eli approached you and you two walked outside.

You couldn’t help but ask, “Are you okay?”

He nods his head, “Yeah. I guess so. Just disappointed in myself.”

“You shouldn’t be. You did great.”

“I lost.”

“That’s okay. You can’t win everything!”

He sighs, “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who lost.”

“Eli–”

He looks at you quickly, “Let’s just drop it, okay?”

Your shoulders drop, “Okay.”

You wanted to tell him. You needed to tell him. He deserved to know. You couldn’t keep this from him forever. You can feel your body temperature start to rise from anxiety and your face starts to get red.

“Babe, are you okay?”

“Eli, I have something to tell you.”

Eli doesn’t break his gaze patiently waiting for you to talk.

You feel your hands start to shake and palms getting sweaty. You try not to look him in the eyes when you say, “I’m pregnant.”

Eli chuckles, “Yeah, right!”

He soon realizes that you weren’t laughing, “Y/N, come on. You’re joking, right?”

You lightly shake your head and reach in your purse for the test. You take it out and hand it to him and he takes it in his hands.

You see his eyes go wide as he almost starts hyperventilating.

“Eli–”

“Sorry, I’m just letting it sink in.”

You swallow thickly. You were waiting for him to drop the bomb. You were fully prepared to have your heart broken. How were you going to be able to take care of a baby on your own? So many questions and assumptions start chaoctically swirling through your mind. You expected the worst, as always.

He looks at you, “We can do this.”

You look in his eyes searching for any sign that he’s joking. You pay special attention to his body language as he talks.

“Really?”

He lets out a puff of air, “I mean, I think so. Are you wanting to keep it?”

You nod your head, “I was planning on it.”

Eli develops a small smile on his face, “Okay. Okay. This can’t be too bad, right?”

You shrug your shoulders with no answer for him.

“I’m gonna be a dad.”

You start to feel the tears in your eyes, “Yeah, you are!”

He gives you a hug and then separates from you, “We’ve gotta tell the others!”

You feel your anxiety creep back up in you. You still have nothing to say about that. You weren’t sure how they were going to react. You were so afraid that they were not going to see as their friend anymore.

“O–oh–okay, let’s go tell them then,” you pretend to be excited.

Eli grabs your hand and quickly runs inside with you tagging along behind him.

Eli and you join in the group and he interrupts their conversations, “Guys! We have news.”

You look up at Miguel and Demetri knowing that they and Eli were close and you were afraid of how they’d feel. Everyone looks at Eli furrowing their eyebrows from confusion.

“Y/N is pregnant!”

You see Demetri’s face drop from pure surprise. Miguel covered his mouth to hide his slack jaw but uncovered it and gained a smile. You looked at everyone else who were shocked to their cores.

“Do you want us to be excited?” Robby asks you two.

You and Eli look at each other and smile with you answering, “I think so! We are wanting to keep it!”

That’s when everyone breaks out with their excitement and all come in for a group hug. You didn’t expect this kind of reaction from them, especially when you were thinking of the worst.

Eventually it is just you, Eli, Miguel, and Demetri together.

Miguel asking, “So what’s gonna be the name?”

You laugh, I have no clue! I literally found out about it today!”

Demetri lifts his hand to his chest in shock, “No way! You need to find a good doctor so they can give you ultrasounds.”

Miguel hums, “Mhm. True!”

Demetri continues, “What if there’s something wrong? Or what if the baby isn’t healthy or somehting?”

You hear Eli chuckle, “Calm down, dude. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“But what if she’s–”

Miguel puts his hand up to silence Demetri’s babbling, “You and my mom should get in touch! She’s pregnant too.”

Eli looks at Miguel wide eyed, “No way. With Sensei?”

You almost laugh at the boys shocked faces while Miguel shakes his head.

You say, “Maybe I should. I do need to know the ins and outs.”

Demetri says, “That’s true. This your first pregnancy. Your body isn’t used to this. What if you start losing teeth or your hair? It happens a lot with pregnant women!”

You look at him, “How do you know so much about this?”

Demetri shrugs his shoulders, “Research.”

You all laugh at him and Miguel goes on about Carmen and Johnny hooking up with a grimace on his face.

After the whole detailed conversation Miguel asks, “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

Eli, of course, wanted a son and you wanted a daughter.

Since the choice was a 50/50 split the boys started placing bets on what the gender would be making laugh.

You couldn’t believe how well everyone took the news. You also couldn’t believe how supportive Eli was. You were definitely expecting driving home with more tears and a dull ache in your chest. But that didn’t happen.

You and Eli were going to be parents. You couldn’t believe it.

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