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sampagnereads · 5 years

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Hi, lovelies! It’s the most exciting time of the year again, aka the O.W.L.s readathon! This readathon is hosted by G over at BookRoast, and the main idea of it is that you’re reading books to pass your Ordinary Wizarding Levels. This year, though, G added another side of it and created a document full of magical careers and the exams you’d need to pass to achieve them, and so I’m even more excited than I was last year! For more information on the readathon, please check G’s announcement video right here.

Just so you know, I’ve decided to become a healer, which means that I absolutely need the following O.W.L.s: Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, Transfiguration, and three other subjects up to me. However, my goal is to complete all the exams, and so I’ll be aiming to read at least 12 books this month!

Under the cut, you’ll find my tbr!

( LOW PRIORITY ) ANCIENT RUNES — RETELLING

For this class, I’ve decided to read Kissing the Witch, by Emma Donoghue. This is a collection of short fairy tale retellings that focus on women, women saving themselves, and women saving each other. It also apparently has sapphic relationships, which I’m really excited to read. Also, this is a pretty short book, which makes it perfect for a readathon. Add to that the fact that it’s a collection of short stories, which I usually read quickly, and you’ve got the best readathon book, basically.

( MEDIUM PRIORITY ) ARITHMANCY — WORK WRITTEN BY MORE THAN ONE AUTHOR

For this class, I’ve decided to read Lumberjanes, Vol. 10: Parents’ Day, by Shannon Watters, Kat Leyh, Ayme Sotuyo & Maarta Laiho. This is the tenth volume in the Lumberjanes series, which is a series that follows a group of girls and non-binary folks who go to a summer camp to become Lumberjanes, aka something akin to girl scouts. I’ve rated the first six volumes of this series somewhere between a 3 and a 3.5 stars, but ever since the 7th volume, they’ve been getting very strong four stars from me. Therefore, I’m highly anticipating reading this volume for the readathon, and I already have it borrowed from the library, which means that I can for sure get to it in April!

( LOW PRIORITY ) ASTRONOMY — “STAR” IN THE TITLE

For this class, I’ve decided to read The Name of the Star, by Maureen Johnson. Honestly, I don’t know much about this book. I know it’s a mystery, possibly a paranormal one, and that’s about as far as my knowledge of it goes. I don’t currently own this book, but I’m like 90% sure I’m getting it for my birthday on March 29, and worst case scenario? I’m pretty sure I can borrow it from the library or buy it on my Kobo for cheaper. And even then, I have another book with “star” in the title in my physical TBR, and though I’m not SUPER excited about it at the moment, I’m keeping it as an option! (That second option book is Catching Stars, by Cayla Keenan, by the way.)

( MEDIUM PRIORITY ) CARE OF MAGICAL CREATURES — LAND ANIMAL ON THE COVER

For this class, I’ll most likely be reading The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Vol. 1: Squirrel Power, by Ryan North & Erica Henderson. This comic literally has a squirrel on the cover, which I’m sure you’ve guessed thanks to the name, and so it fits perfectly with this challenge. To be completely honest with you, I don’t know much about this comic, except for the fact that it seems amazing. They have it at my library, too, so I should be able to get to this one quite easily! Problem is, I don’t have it out from the library yet, so I might not be able to get to it in April. Worst case scenario, I’ll be reading The Storm Runner, by J.C. Cervantes, which has a dog on the back of the cover! (EDIT: There’s a slight chance I’ll instead read Catwoman: Soulstealer, as I still haven’t read it even though I borrowed it from the library last week.)

( HIGH PRIORITY ) CHARMS — ADULT BOOK

For this class, I’ve decided to read Daydreams of Angels, by Heather O’Neill. This is a collection of short stories that have been described as “fable-like tales”, so to say that I’m excited to read it would be an understatement. My mother read the French translation of it last year, loved it, and thought that I would love it too. Therefore, she bought it for me in English last Christmas, as she knows I prefer reading a book in its original language if possible, and now I get to read it for this readathon! Honestly, I’ve been itching to get to this book for a while now, and I can’t wait for April!

( HIGH PRIORITY ) DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS — TITLE STARTS WITH “R”

For this class, I’ll be reading Royal Wedding, by Meg Cabot. This is the last book to have come out in The Princess Diaries, and is the only adult book out of this whole series. This series follows Mia, a regular girl who one day finds out that she’s the princess of a small European country. This was my favourite series when I was younger, even more so than Harry Potter, and I absolutely cannot wait to see these characters again! It feels like it’s been so long since I last read a book in that series, and I am thoroughly excited to get back into it.

( LOW PRIORITY ) DIVINATION — SET IN THE FUTURE

For this class, I’ll be reading Queen Song, by Victoria Aveyard. This is a prequel novella set in the Red Queen universe, and though I’ve read all the books that are out already, I’ve yet to read the novellas. Fortunately for me, this particular novella is available at my library through OverDrive, so that’s where I’ll be reading it! And though I won’t be prioritizing this class, as I don’t really see how useful Divination would be to me, as a healer, I’ll probably read it pretty early on in the month since it’s so short.

( HIGH PRIORITY ) HERBOLOGY — PLANT ON THE COVER

For this class, I’m planning on reading Frida, c’est moi, by Sophie Faucher & Cara Carmina. This is a children’s picture book about Frida Kahlo, and I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about it from basically everyone around me. It’s also 30 pages long, with very little text, which makes it perfect for a readathon. Also, since Herbology is one of the classes I absolutely need to become a Healer, I’ll definitely be prioritizing this book, and it might even be my first read of the readathon.

( MEDIUM PRIORITY ) HISTORY OF MAGIC — PUBLISHED 10+ YEARS AGO

For this class, I’m definitely going to be reading Les Trois mousquetaires (The Three Musketeers), by Alexandre Dumas! This is a French classic, and though it’s been a while since I read in French, it is my first language, and I will therefore be reading this book in its original language! I honestly watched the movie version of it so often when I was little, that I’m thoroughly excited to get back into this story. Also, it’s the book of the month for the Classics’ Support Group I’m hosting, so it all works out perfectly!

( MEDIUM PRIORITY ) MUGGLE STUDIES — CONTEMPORARY

For this class, I’ll be reading Belly Up, by Eva Darrows. I was lucky enough to get an e-ARC of this book, and since it’s coming out at the end of April, I thought it’d be perfect for me to read it during the readathon. This book follows a teen who becomes pregnant, and has been compared to, not only Juno (which I liked), but also to Gilmore Girls (which I adore and re-watch often). Therefore, to say that I’m excited to read this book would be quite the understatement.

( HIGH PRIORITY ) POTIONS — SEQUEL

For this class, I shall be reading Gone Rogue, by Marissa Meyer & Stephen Gilpin. This is the sequel to Wires and Nerve, a graphic novel that takes place in the world of The Lunar Chronicles after the events of the last book, Winter. I really, really liked Wires and Nerve, which surprised me since I had picked it up on a whim, and can’t wait to get to this one! Problem is, it’s a library book, so there is a slight chance I won’t be able to get my hands on it during April. If that happens, I’ll instead be reading A Swiftly Tilting Planet, by Madeleine L’Engle.

( HIGH PRIORITY ) TRANSFIGURATION — SPRAYED EDGES OR RED COVER

For this class, I’m planning on reading Heart of Iron, by Ashley Poston! Both because it’s the only book I own with sprayed edges that I haven’t read yet, but also because I’ve been itching to read it for a while now. I had actually started the book last year, but since I remember very little of it, I will be re-starting it all over from the beginning. I do remember the fact that I really liked what I had read, though, and am therefore very pumped to get back to this book!

Aaaaand, that’s it! Here are all the books I’m planning on reading for the 2019 O.W.L.s! I might end up reading more books than those twelve during the month, but either way, I’ll have had a very good reading month! School does come first, though, so there is a chance I won’t be able to get to all these books, but let’s hope I manage to organize my free time well enough so that I can read all of these.

#owlsreadathon2019 #magical readathon #owls 2019 #booklr #tbr #sam's tbrs

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limejuicer1862 · 4 years

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May 1

..looks like you are drowning..

part one

looks like you are drowning & hope i am wrong. i can see the struggle the turn about in water.

i have done that too pat says that i have paid the price but i wonder

i hope you survive come clean bare your feathers.

fly high

if not i will lay a petal and think of you

as i think of the others that drowned before you that had no feathers

part two,

it looks like you are drowning again shall I jump in to save you and maybe sink myself or shall I wait to see to lay a flower at our feet

part three

maybe you are not drowning really that I made it up and you are dancing like the others

while people die and we lay flowers in memoriam corona

part four

you are floating maybe; I did that for hours went spongy, now face reality and I still think that you are drowning like the others.

-sonja benskin mesher

concrete reasoning

gray day: i am out for a walk when a sidewalk camellia begs myriad questions:

runaway bride?

garden club mishap? rejected proposal? hothouse runaway? centerpiece rebel?

confronted by the unexplained, the human drive to make order from chaos is relentless.

whatever the story, the end is the same: beauty appears and we can only wonder …

with a schedule to keep and no answers at hand i press onward, feeling the inner bloom of nascent gratitude.

-Rich Follett

MF 1

Every time I find clay in the garden, beneath a rosebush, say, I find slate too. This is just something I have noticed over the course of a year. It is not necessary to mention these things, especially now, I suppose. I am not happy unless I’m pouring something – tomato feed. I am Philip Levine’s Burial Rights, I recall Bei Dao. These days, I feel the trick to a good carpark, to feel anything, is my proximity to this flower arrangement.

JK 1

A story of three fish might be fish bones in a field for birds. Koi feeding, koi feed in a garden centre, at the next junction. Fish bent back over backwards, in blue paint. Scattered to the water’s edge a handful of dirt, to a handful of colour, blue scales at the centre of the field, a water mark, a stone left unturned.

-Alex Mazey

The Life of Petals

We use flowers to mark occasions– Weddings and funerals. The petals linger only briefly, But the sentiment still hangs Heavy in the air, years after Like pollen That settled over and over again On our patio table and chairs, All those long Midwestern summers When heat robbed our lungs of breath. And Wildflowers, not cut-storebought ones, marked a different time, Of an everyday type. Now, cut flowers feel gluttonous to me. And petals bless us with The gentleness of how life ought to be.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/petals.m4a

-st

Utopia Burning

Warnings ignored from many a social self appointed warlord Echoes of dissident discord striking a high-pitched off key note As hungry flames lick and lash causing an apocalyptic molten urban and suburban foretold mess Whispered by familiar oracles their verbal miracles documenting their fiery cautionary chronicles Of systems slowly imploding temperaments exploding fake veneers and smiles exfoliating as ignorant masses squawk for a helping hand from those witnessing their demise and burning squirming shedding acid tears for Utopia burning…

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/utopia-burning-mp3.mp3

Still Silent

No sound, water jelly flat, so still it hurts my ears. Even sun slides silently into autumn’s metal light.

All jamboree, clang and din now far away in time. Even breath is offensive here, in case of ripple and slapping rocks.

I cannot read or turn a page lest a mumble or paper scrape, escape and shatter the loch. Like a breaking glass to a rousing cheer, as all that knowledge gets out.

So I stare at reflections in late day waters reliable quiet, but maybe their heat is not that hot.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/still-silent.m4a

©️ Dai Fry 30th April 2020.

The sweet flower’s heart Wilting on the cold, hard slab My love’s final gift

-Carrie Ann Golden

Camellia

You lay beautiful and gasping alone on Tithonian stone. A sudden fall from grace, petal broken angel: forage for sweeper winds.

Transient as summer days. Temperate these forevers soon fade to winter grey. Dog-day memories cannot abide short-day cold.

What are you, I wonder? A love certified in Bacchus’s dance or a loved one certified and boxed in tears and brown ale.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/camellia.m4a

©️ Dai Fry 30th March 2020.

The giant fish takes back the myth

The morning before she was to become a story the sea was baited quiet, the kind that silks

all desire down to swish. To decide to leap from one cool world to another just for breakfast

is to bare your colours to the scaling knife of the wind, and she did – her fireback beacon launched

for the brief protein of flying legs. How often we fail to see that dark hull waiting, we beasts so full up

with the rush of living for our risks. And the shape of the poised hero held no meaning, to a fish

but oh the shimmerhook, like all the moons her eye’s nightcoin had ever purchased

from deep beneath the water, and there is the lust, the swish- -and want. The glowworm crescent to silver her belly.

We all want to shine in fullness. Only heroes are given names in these stories.

For her need she was translated into an island, and I am running the delicate gasp of her jaws

in the shape of this coast, forever straining for the hook and still called only fish

even with all we have made of her. Every time I desire to transcend my quiet water, I forget the heroes

and leap from her skin, and hope that landing empty

but with one eye fixed on the moon every night after this will be enough.

-Ankh Spice

Beheaded Camelia’s

delicate red petals last longer on the less travelled path. Flash of disappearing red lace, paper thin survival. Unbroken in bright sunlight, bright on grey stone. Destruction stays at home to avoid destruction.

The red wing is allowed space to revolve reflect in water. “Temporary” like the word “soon”, a duration undecided.

-Paul Brookes

Bios and Links

-Alex Mazey

(b.1991) received his MA (distinction) from Keele University in 2017. He later won The Roy Fisher Prize for Poetry with his debut pamphlet, ‘Bread and Salt’ (Flarestack, TBA). He was also the recipient of a Creative Future Writers’ Award in 2019. His poetry has featured regularly in anthologies and literary press magazines, most notably in The London Magazine. His collection of essays, ‘Living in Disneyland’, will be available from Broken Sleep Books in October 2020. Alex spent 2018 as a resident of The People’s Republic of China, where he taught the English Language in a school run by the Ministry of Education. His writing has been described as ‘wry and knowing,’ with ‘an edge that tears rather than cuts or deals blows.’

Twitter: @AlexzanderMazey

Instagram: alexmazey

Here is my interview of Alex:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/12/18/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-alex-mazey/

-Rich Follett

is a High School English and Creative Writing teacher who has been writing poems and songs for more than forty years. His poems have been featured in numerous online and print journals, including BlazeVox, The Montucky Review, Paraphilia, Leaf Garden Press and the late Felino Soriano’s CounterExample Poetics, for which he was a featured artist. Three volumes of poetry, Responsorials (with Constance Stadler), Silence, Inhabited, and Human &c. are available through NeoPoiesis Press (www.neopoiesispress.com.)

As a singer-songwriter, Rich has released five albums of independent contemporary folk music. His latest. Somewhere in the Stars, is available at http://www.richfollett.com. He lives with his wife Mary Ruth Alred Follett in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, where he also pursues his interests as a professional actor, playwright, and director.

-Ankh Spice

is a sea-obsessed poet from Aotearoa (NZ). His poetry has appeared in a wide range of international publications and has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. He truly believes that words have the power to change the place we’re in, and you’ll find him doing his best to prove it on

Twitter: @SeaGoatScreams or on Facebook: @AnkhSpiceSeaGoatScreamsPoetry

-Carrie Ann Golden

is a deafblind writer from the mystical Adirondack Mountains now living on a farmstead in northeastern North Dakota. She writes dark fiction and poetry. Her work has been published in places like Piker Press, Edify Fiction, Doll Hospital Journal, The Hungry Chimera, GFT Press, Asylum Ink, and Visual Verse.

-Anjum Wasir Dar

Born in Srinagar (Indian occupied Kashmir) in 1949. My family opted for and migrated to Pakistan after the (1947)Partition of India. Educated in St Anne’s Presentation Convent Rawalpindi.Graduated with Distinction in English Lang. & Literature in 1968 from the Punjab University. Won the All Round Best Student Cup.1968. Obtained a Masters Degree in English Literature/American Studies Punjab University P.G. Diploma in TEFL from Allama Iqbal Open University Islamabad and a CPE from Cambridge University UK (LSE British Council)1991 Developing Educators in Pakistan Training Course sponsored by IFC & Bradford University 1999.Bronze Medal Poet of Merit Award by International Society of Poets & http://Poetry.com USA 2000 7 Times Winner NANOWRIMO, (National Novel Writing Month) Adventure Novel ‘ The Adventures of the Multi Colored Lead People’ in the printing process. Educator Writer since 1990 Editor College Magazine Creative Writer English at Channel 7 Pvt Ltd Islamabad.National Education Award Winner 1998 for Research & Publications.

-sonja benskin mesher

born , Bournemouth.

now

lives and works in North Wales as an independent artist

‘i am a multidisciplinary artist, crafting paint, charcoal, words and whatever comes to hand, to explain ideas and issues

words have not come easily. I draw on experience, remember and write. speak of a small life’.

Elected as a member of the Royal Cambrian Academy and the United Artists Society The work has been in solo exhibitions through Wales and England, and in selected and solo worldwide. Much of the work is now in both private, and public collections, and has been featured in several television documentaries, radio programmes and magazines.

Here is my interview of sonja benskin mesher:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/10/16/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-sonja-benskin-mesher/

-Samantha Terrell

is an American poet whose work emphasizes emotional integrity and social justice. She is the author of several eBooks including, Learning from Pompeii, Coffee for Neanderthals, Disgracing Lady Justice and others, available on smashwords.com and its affiliates.Chapbook: Ebola (West Chester University Poetry Center, 2014)

Website: poetrybysamantha.weebly.com Twitter: @honestypoetry

Here is my 2020 interview of her:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2020/04/08/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-samantha-terrell/

-Don Beukes

is a South African and British writer. He is the author of ‘The Salamander Chronicles’ (CTU) and ‘Icarus Rising-Volume 1’ (ABP), an ekphrastic collection. He taught English and Geography in both South Africa and the UK. His poetry has been anthologized in numerous collections and translated into Afrikaans, Persian, French and Albanian. He was nominated by Roxana Nastase, editor of Scarlet Leaf Review for the ‘Best of the Net’ in 2017 as well as the Pushcart Poetry Prize (USA) in 2016. He was published in his first SA Anthology ‘In Pursuit of Poetic Perfection’ in 2018 (Libbo Publishers) and his second ‘Cape Sounds’ in 2019 (Gavin Joachims Publishing). He is also an amateur photographer and his debut Photographic publication appeared in Spirit Fire Review in June 2019. His new book, ‘Sic Transit Gloria Mundi’/Thus Passes the Glory of this World’ is due to be published by Concrete Mist Press.

Here is my interview of Don Beukes:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/11/02/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-don-beukes/

-Dai-Fry

is an x social worker and a present poet. Image is all but flow is good too. So many interesting things… Published in Black bough Poetry, Re-Side, The Hellebore, The Pangolin Review. He will not stop.

Twitter @thnargg

Web. seekingthedarklight.co.uk

Audio/Visual. @IntPoetryCircle #InternationalPoetryCircle Twitter #TopTweetTuesday

-Paul Brookes

is a shop asst. Lives in a cat house full of teddy bears. His chapbooks include The Fabulous Invention Of Barnsley, (Dearne Community Arts, 1993). The Headpoke and Firewedding (Alien Buddha Press, 2017), A World Where and She Needs That Edge (Nixes Mate Press, 2017, 2018) The Spermbot Blues (OpPRESS, 2017), Port Of Souls (Alien Buddha Press, 2018), Please Take Change (Cyberwit.net, 2018), Stubborn Sod, with Marcel Herms (artist) (Alien Buddha Press, 2019), As Folk Over Yonder ( Afterworld Books, 2019). Forthcoming Khoshhali with Hiva Moazed (artist), Our Ghost’s Holiday (Final book of threesome “A Pagan’s Year”) . He is a contributing writer of Literati Magazine and Editor of Wombwell Rainbow Interviews.

-Mary Frances

is an artist and writer based in the UK. She takes a few photos every day, for inspiration and to use in her work. The images for this project were all taken in the last two years on walks during in the month of May. Her words and images have been published by Penteract Press, Metambesen, Ice Floe Press, Burning House Press, Inside the Outside, Luvina Rivista Literaria, and Lone Women in Flashes of Wilderness. Twitter: @maryfrancesness

-James Knight

is an experimental poet and digital artist. His books include Void Voices (Hesterglock Press) and Self Portrait by Night (Sampson Low). His visual poems have been published in several places, including the Penteract Press anthology Reflections and Temporary Spaces (Pamenar Press). Chimera, a book of visual poems, is due from Penteract Press in July 2020.

Website: thebirdking.com.

Twitter: @badbadpoet

Here is my interview of James Knight:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/01/06/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-james-knight/

Welcome to a special ekphrastic challenge for May. Artworks from Mary Frances, James Knight and Sue Harpham will be the inspiration for writers, Alex Mazey, Ankh Spice, Anjum Wasim Dar, James Knight, Samantha Terrell, Dai Fry, Carrie Ann Golden, sonja menskin mesher, Rich Follett, Don Beukes and myself. May 1st. May 1 ..looks like you are drowning.. part one looks like you are drowning & hope i am wrong.

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shefa · 7 years

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Facing the Storms in Our Lives

FACING THE STORMS IN OUR LIVES

FIRST DAY ROSH HASHANAH SERMON 5778 – 2017

Rabbi Stephen Weiss

B’nai Jeshurun Congregation, Pepper Pike OH

I’m going to be honest with you. This summer just has not quite turned out the way that I had planned. It was supposed to go something like this: After sharing in my favorite holiday tradition – the all-night study on Shavuot, I would head to Europe to lead our congregation’s Jewish Heritage Tour of Budapest, Prague and Berlin. The rest of the summer would be punctuated by two bike trips I was planning to take. I would ride my bicycle from Cleveland to Cincinnati and then along the Erie Canal from Buffalo to Albany. And of course, the piece de-resistance – the most important, the single most important event of the summer by far – was that at the end of August we would celebrate our daughter’s wedding.

Well, the wedding was unbelievable – beautiful, joyful, the happiest day of my life. I still pinch myself. It’s hard to believe that it was real; and for that I will forever be grateful to God. It was a weekend filled with absolute magic.

But the rest of the summer? Well by now you all know about my car accident in May – yes, for the record: car, not bike! Despite my repeated attempts to force myself back into the world, my injuries were severe enough that I was basically out of commission the whole summer. Two weeks before the wedding I was still unsure I would be able to enjoy my daughter’s big day. Even now, though I have returned fully to work, a number of problems related to the injury persist. I won’t be riding my bike any time soon.

So, this summer did not turn out in the way I had planned for and expected. The truth is, that’s how life is for most of us.

As the Yiddish proverb says, “A man plans and God laughs.” Except it’s not always funny. Many times, when our life goes “off script” we find ourselves confronted with tremendous, even overwhelming adversity.

For Sheryl Sandberg, the C.O.O. of Facebook, life went “off script” when she found her husband lying dead of a heart attack on the floor of a gym at the resort where they were vacationing in Mexico. In her book, Option B, she tells the story of how, weeks later, she and a friend, Phil were planning a father-child activity. They came up with a plan for someone to fill in for her husband, Dave. She cried to her friend, “But I want Dave.” Phil put his arm around her and said, “Option A is not available. So, let’s kick the ‘heck’ out of Option B.”

That statement pretty much sums up life’s challenges. For better and for worse, few of us live a life that is always Option A. We live a life that is always some form of option B.

Raise your hand if your life is turning out exactly the way you thought it would, if your life followed the trajectory that you expected and there have been no surprises, pleasant or unpleasant along the way…. Go ahead…. You see, no one goes untouched.

There is an expression in the Talmud, the rabbis said: Tzarot rabim chatzi nechama – “the troubles of the many are a half-comfort.” It helps to at least know that we are not alone.

If our lives sailed along as we planned and envisioned them, we would have no need for these holidays with their soul-searching and introspection, their pleas for forgiveness, for blessing and life. We would not sing through our tears as we chant the Unetaneh Tokef prayer: “On Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed: Who shall live and who shall die, who shall wander and who shall be at peace, who shall wax rich and who shall be impoverished, who shall be exalted and who shall be brought low?” No… in place of the Unetaneh Tokef prayer – if our lives were Option A – we would come, offer a prayer of thanksgiving, have some apples and honey and call it a day.

We are here because too often life throws at us challenges that come from nowhere and seem utterly insurmountable. It might be a sudden injury that brings our lives to a grinding halt. Or the shattering of a relationship around which our world was built. Or the loss of a job leaving us unsure how to meet our needs and the needs of those we love. It might be suddenly confronting serious debilitating, degenerative or God forbid terminal illness. It might be our grief over the death of a loved one, especially when that death comes unexpected and too soon, most especially if it is the loss of a child. And this year, in this congregation, as I look out at all of you, I know that we have seen far too many storms.

Like the Hurricanes which brought such devastation to Texas, Florida and the Caribbean, these events sweep in with a force that cannot be deterred and utterly change the landscape of our lives. Sooner or later it happens to all of us, sometimes repeatedly, sometimes coming as many storms at once. And after the storm, we are never the same.

In her book, Sheryl Sandberg uses her experience to guide us through the challenges of accepting Option B and learning how to confront and move beyond adversity and rebuild our lives. In doing so, she turns to the writings of the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman. Dr. Seligman underscores what he sees as three impediments to our ability to recover from adversity and go on. He calls these three impediments the Three P’s: Personalization, Pervasiveness and Permanence. Learning how to avoid these three Ps would take us a long way toward nurturing the resilience that we need to overcome the challenges in or lives.

Personalization is the belief that we are at fault. When something goes wrong in our lives there is a great tendency to want to blame ourselves. Sheryl tortured herself with the illusion that she had been responsible for her husband’s death. If only she had gotten to the gym in time she could have saved him. If only she had realized that he had heart disease, she could have saved him. That guilt in turn spilled over into her apologizing for everything in her life: to her mother, who put her life on hold to stay with her, to her friends who dropped everything to come to the funeral, to her clients for missing appointments, to her colleagues for losing focus. It took her a long time to understand that if the doctors didn’t know that her husband was going to have a heart attack, how could she? Her psychologist made her ban the words “I’m sorry” from her vocabulary.

Now you may be thinking, “Rabbi, isn’t that what these High Holidays are all about? Aren’t I supposed to feel guilt for the things that I’ve done wrong? Shouldn’t I apologize to those people that I’ve hurt? In fact, isn’t the whole point of the Unetaneh Tokef prayer to move us to teshuvah, to repentance?”

And the answer is yes… yes, of course it is. This is the season of teshuvah. And teshuvah is fundamentally about recognizing where we have fallen down, what we have done wrong, who we have hurt; and seeking to change. That is the prime goal we engage in at this time of year.

But sometimes when we are hurting, we can confuse what we have done wrong with the hurt that we are feeling. There is a difference between apologizing for that which is within our power and feeling guilty for that which is beyond our control. Let me say that again: There is a difference between apologizing for that which is within our power and feeling guilty for that which is beyond our control.

That’s why over and over again during these holidays we will ask God for two things: selichah and mechilah. Those two words are repeated over and over again in the High Holiday liturgy.

Selichah means forgiveness. God should forgive us for the things that we have done wrong, for the people that we have hurt, for the ways in which we have turned away from God’s commandments, for our failures of morality and ethics. Selichah is forgiveness for our sins.

Mechilah is often translated into English in our prayerbooks as “pardon;” but that’s not really an accurate translation of the word. To be “moichel” somebody – maybe some of you recognize that word if I say it in the Yiddish. It’s the same word – to be “moichel” somebody means to relieve them of responsibility. Somebody has an obligation to me and I say “I moichel you” – “you don’t have to do that.”

Selichah is God forgiving us for what we did wrong. Mechilah to be “moicheled” is God releasing us of the burden of those things for which we are not responsible. God is saying to us: “Let go of that! You did not control that. Don’t let that weigh you down.” God forgives us for those things too because sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves, to let go and to be able move on. We have to be able to move past personalization.

The second P, pervasiveness, is the belief that an event will affect every aspect of our lives. It is the belief that if we are suffering or grieving or struggling over one thing in our lives, then we must suffer, grieve or struggle in every other part of our life as well. Everywhere we look we see pain and sorrow. And should we feel momentarily happy, we beat ourselves up and feel guilty about it.

In her book, Sheryl Sandberg writes: “As I blamed myself less, I started to notice that not everything was terrible. My son and daughter were sleeping through the night, crying less and playing more. We had access to grief counselors and therapists, I could afford childcare and support at home. I had loving friends and colleagues.” Being able to feel success, joy, love and peace in other aspects of our lives allows us to access our spiritual reserves, to find the strength to go on.

This is what our sages called “hakarat ha-tov” -- recognizing and acknowledging the good in our lives, taking stock of our blessings and expressing gratitude. That may seem obvious to you or, if you are hurting right now, it may seem incredibly hard. But our tradition is clear that as Jews we are bidden to find sources of joy in our lives even in our times of sorrow, and to find good that we are thankful for even when we are struggling.

When someone passes away, we observe the rites of mourning. During shiva, for seven days, we don’t leave our homes. We wear the torn garment. We engage in all the mourning practices. Except for one day of that seven. Which day is that? Shabbat. Shabbat overrides the mourning. The rabbis teach that Shabbat counts as one of the seven but we don’t observe it as one of the seven. We are not allowed to mourn or grieve on Shabbat. Why not? Because on that day we have an obligation to express our gratitude to God for the gift of creation, of peoplehood, of Torah. We have an obligation to be with community and feel appreciation for the other lives that touch us, support us and uplift us. Hakarat ha-tov: Even in our deepest pain, we have to recognize the good.

So many good things happen in our lives every day, small and large, that we too often take for granted. The very fact that we are alive and breathing, that we have family, friends and community. The beauty of our natural world. It can be as simple as, for me, the small miracle of the invention of silicone ear plugs that enabled me to dance at and enjoy my daughter’s wedding despite the loud volume of the band! For others, maybe it’s the miracle of cochlear implants, or of a walker that allows you to be more active and get around and not be tied down, or recovery from a recent illness, or getting a job, making a friend, or finding love. Maybe it’s just a beautiful day, or having just a little less pain today than yesterday. There are so many good things that happen in our lives at every moment. Far more than the dark moments we face. And when we can recognize and acknowledge them, when we can tackle the pervasiveness, we are on the road to healing.

The third impediment to our recovery -- the third P, permanence -- is the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever: that because one relationship ended we will never find a new partner, because we failed once we will always fail, that because we are grieving a loss we will never again feel joy. Sandberg shares that “For months, no matter what I did, I felt like the debilitating anguish would always be there. Most of the people I knew who had lived through tragedy said that over time the sadness subsides… I didn’t believe them.” She goes on to say, “When my children cried, I would flash forward to their entire lives without a father. Dave wasn’t just going to miss a soccer game, but all the soccer games. All the debate tournaments. All the holidays. All the graduations. He would not walk our daughter down the aisle at her wedding.”

Here’s the thing: it’s all true. Her husband would not be at any of those events. But what is not true is that all those events would therefore completely void of any joy, that she would feel the same grief then that she felt at the time of his passing. The human soul is hard-wired for optimism and hope. Give us a cloud and sooner or later we will find a silver lining. In fact, Sheryl Sandberg brings studies in her book that show that we all tend to overestimate how much negative events will affect us.

In one study, some students were asked to imagine their current romantic relationship ending and predict how unhappy they would be two months later. Other students were asked to report their unhappiness two months after an actual break-up. Guess what? Those who experienced a real split were far happier than expected. In other studies assistant professors thought being denied university tenure would leave them despondent for the next five years. College students predicted they would be miserable if they got stuck in an undesirable dorm. Both turn out to not be true. The bottom line is we are very bad, and overly pessimistic, in predicting our future emotional state.

How do you combat that feeling of permanence? By banishing words like “never” and “always.” Instead of saying “I will always be struggling,” say to yourself “today I am struggling.” Instead of saying “I will never again know joy,” try saying “sometimes I can’t feel joy.” Live in the moment; and if the moment is sad, or difficult, or frustrating that’s okay. But you own that moment, don’t let that moment own you. Don’t let the moment define you. Remember that what you feel today does not determine what you will feel tomorrow. Leave yourself open to the possibility of feeling joy and joy will find you.

At the end of her book, Sheryl Sandberg writes: “But just as grief crashes into us like a wave, it also rolls back like the tide. We are left not just standing, but in some ways stronger.”

The challenges and storms in our lives don’t need to be personal, pervasive or permanent; but resilience can be. We can build it and carry it with us throughout our lives. We can recognize when to let go of guilt. We can learn again to feel gratitude. We can rise above our grief and allow ourselves to rediscover love and joy. For all those who suffered the effects of Irma, Harvey and Maria, and for each of us facing storms in our personal lives, may the coming year be a year of resilience, a year of rebuilding, a year of hope and healing and blessing.

#jew #jewish #torah #spirituality #grief #grieving #mourning #loss #death #struggle #challenge #obstacle #option b #rosh hashanah #rosh hashana #judaism #crisis #life #life skills #coping

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