#hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

giving Nathaniel letters from his sister who he fears might be dead: +10 approval

giving Anders a cat you randomly found: +17 approval

#this is a good video game #Liv plays Awakening #hawkeward original

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

#manka writes #writer tag game thing

[jellydishes]

i was tagged by @well-this-is-hawkeward for last line monday, and in turn i’m tagging @askweisswolf, @emotionalmorphine, @midnightprelude, @ocean-in-my-rebel-soul, @kagetsukai, aaaaaaand @the-temple-of-sacred-asses

i’ve mostly been working on original stuff this past week, so have the newest version of the introduction to my video game, as per the second draft. I will warn you that every repetition of “you slept” would be a link to a new page that would then return to the main sequence to give it a disjointed feeling, which i’ll do my best to replicate here lol:

You slept. [[Dreaming was a hole in your desperation, through which you poured all of your guilt and anger and fear. It fell in dripping skeins of light, then torrents, and still it wasn’t enough. You needed to purge all of it, begged to, wept to any deity listening with tears in your eyes and a snarl on your lips.]]

All you knew was sleeping, and the brief periods of wakefulness that were filled with pain and confusion and a bone-deep grief.

You slept. [[Being awake only brought an overwhelming sense of powerlessness that made you want to yell or scream or cry, just to get somebody to notice. It made the air cloying and thick. There was a gravity in your house, and it should have brought the house crashing down to its foundations. Instead, it brought you back to your bed. When you were sleeping, there were no signed words of concern from your father, no empty place setting at the table. It was just you, and the endless passage of dreams.

Now, what had at first been a relief had become a compulsion. You slept more and more, sometimes upwards of sixteen hours a day, always pushing to make it last longer and longer.]]

You slept. [[Tonight was different.What had been a dream of people you had never met saying words to anyone but you... Something about that would have made your throat clench tight if you’d still had one. The entirety of it pounded in upon you, relentless, cruel without the notion of cruelty.

In dreams, you didn't hold back. You sucked air into lungs you were no longer sure you had and let it out as a scream at everything, at nothing, at a pain that thrummed to a beat you didn't remember. A white-hot pain that made tears prick eyes that didn't exist yet, and you curled your hands around that bone-deep ache, gouging and reaching. "Please," you gasped, "please. Help me. Make it stop." Even after that voice started speaking to you once again, you pushed and pushed, throwing all of your fury or grief or fear into it. Clawing with hands that hadn't moved.

"-on then," that hoarse, cracked voice said at the same time as you felt, more than saw, a ripple cascade away from where you'd focused your energies. "It is time to get up and try again." You curled tighter around yourself. Something that you didn't understand made you move right past such questions as who this person was or what they meant, and instead said, "I'm so tired. I can't do it again."]]

You awoke, to a voice that barely filtered through the grey haze of that surrounded you and filtered into your mind, blotting out everything. It was insistent, annoying, and you closed your eyes to it.

"You don't have a choice, not this time."

You lifted your head reluctantly. Half collapsed beside you was a figure in a tattered red longcoat topped with a hood. The space behind the folds of their hood where a face should be was completely empty. The voice you had heard before emerged as a quiet laugh that was unsettling now, precisely because of how normal it sounded. "I've done my best to help you, but..." The figure shifted a sleeve that ended in nothing at all, a lack of a hand that still filled up the sleeve behind it as if it were attached to an arm that lifted and fell as the figure shrugged. "I messed up. Used up too much of myself protecting you instead of... well, it doesn't matter, now."

Your head was still hazy, like it was filled with thick cotton. You started to uncurl your hands from the tight clutch they'd had around your middle, and you hissed at a dull pain. Looking down the length of your torso, you saw a sword protruding through your belly.

"Oh," you said, and "that hurts." Because it did, in that electric bright way of dreams that nonetheless left your thoughts as clear as they had been before. Which wasn't very much

#last line monday #the brighter the dawn #under its new name but i'll keep using that tag for continuity's sake

[ravenqueen89]

tag meme

Thank you so much for the tag, @well-this-is-hawkeward, sorry this took me a while.

Nickname: Yas (I was Yas before it was cool, har, har, har, I kid)

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, Gemini rising.

Height: 5′3

House: Ravenclaw

Last thing I Googled: Rebecca Ferguson filmography

Song in my head: Ramsey - Love surrounds you

Amount of sleep: about 5 hours, usually that’s the norm (unless it’s 4).

Lucky number: I don’t have one but I’m fond of 5 and its multiples.

Wearing: black t-shirt, funky pattern housepants.

Favorite songs: too many, as per, but currently on repeat are ‘take what is ours’ by Brian Tyler from the Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag ost, ‘I walk on your water’ by Sarah Schachner from Assassin’s Creed Origins, and ‘dark side’ by Bishop Briggs.

Instruments: I used to play the drums and the bass in Rockband on Xbox and that’s about it lol.

Random fact: I thought I’d be an archaeologist until I finished high school.

Favorite authors: sooooo manyyyy, off the top of my head are Anna Burke, Maria Dahvana Headley, Amal El-Mohtar, Anne Carson, Tehlor Kay Mejia, Paul Celan, and so many of you.

Favorite animal sounds: cats purring, and goats making goat noises.

Aesthetic: flowers and daggers and ink.

tagging, without obligations and if not already done: @motorbikeadam @briarfox13

#tag games #about me

[antivan-beau]

Zevran Backstory Fic?🗡️

The DA4 Crow concept art awakened something in me. The world needed elaborate assassination fanfic. If it was a humorous, bittersweet, and horny episode from Zevran’s past, all the better. Black Emporium 2020 gave me as much of an excuse as I ever need. “Only Yours To Give” was born.

I offer you 11k of hijinks, stolen kisses, sword fights, invented and canonical Chantry lore, and the Zevran/Rinna/Taliesen angst that DAO teased but never delivered.

Zevran Arainai knelt in a shadowed gallery overlooking the grandest Chantry sanctuary in Antiva City. He had a grave and perilous job ahead of him. He also had a leg cramp.

Before him, the Cathedral of Our Lady the Redeemer sprawled in an opulent glory of marble, oil paint, and gold leaf. High stained glass windows cast dappled shadows, like filtered light onto a forest floor. Frescoes covered every wall: legends from the birth of the world to the fall of the Golden City, scenes from Andraste’s life, depictions of the world to come when the Chant resounded from every corner of the Maker’s domain.

The columned gallery ran the length of the sanctuary at balcony-height, back from the ornate entry doors, up to the altar where Andraste stood carved from rose-veined marble. The gallery was rarely used, except on holidays when minor nobility crowded the pews on the polished floor. Common folk were relegated to craning their necks and straining to catch the Grand Cleric’s words.

He cast a furtive glance down the long gallery, toward the closed door that led to the staircase that brought him here. Satisfied that the corridor was still empty, he let his gaze drift outward again to the statue that dwarfed the hall. When he spoke again, barely above a murmur, it wasn’t to recite prescribed words.

“With your blessing and forgiveness, I will finish this job with as much mercy as I can manage. Additionally…” his hands still folded, Zevran offered a sigh and a shrug, “I apologize in advance for poisoning the holy water. I did try to think of a better option. In the grand scheme of things, I both hope and suspect this minor blasphemy won’t tip the scales. But nevertheless - I am sorry.”

The door at the end of the gallery creaked. He turned his head barely a fraction. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a woman in the white and crimson robes of a lay Sister catch the handle so it shut softly behind her.

He dropped his eyes to the columned rail. After a steadying breath, he offered a muttered conclusion, the standard: “In the name of Andraste, your bride and champion, our prophet and redeemer.”

The Sister wore hard-heeled shoes that echoed down the gallery. The sound grew louder with her approach. He kept his gaze downcast.

The pew behind him creaked as she sat down. Her robes rustled softly when she crossed her legs.

“There’s just something stirring about seeing you on your knees, Zevran.”

“At the mercy of a beautiful woman? Ready to serve her every whim?” He couldn’t help his smile as he turned to look up at her.

Rinna’s full lips quirked. “We are talking about Andraste, aren’t we?”

Read more on AO3. 🙏

#black emporium 2020 #crowt3 #zevran #zevran arainai #taliesen (dragon age) #rinna (dragon age) #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

the dao companions take turns cooking at camp. who’s good at it? who sucks?

(a series of headcanons)

(unranked) Shale - Shale does not eat plants or animals, so I imagine she is uninvolved in food prep around camp. Shale is an outlier and cannot be counted.

7. Wynne -  As a resident of the Circle Tower, Wynne has eaten boring, sub-par food for her whole life. Now that she’s old, her taste has ossified. Things with both salt and pepper are spicy to her. Wynne would be a terrible cook based on this alone, but also, she’s never once had to cook in her whole life. She burns everything she touches. Everyone dreads Wynne’s night to make dinner. (Who even makes the food at Circle Tower? Do... do you think tranquil mages do it? Hope not.)

6. Zevran - Yes, he’s skilled at crafting poisons, but I don’t see any reason why Zevran would learn to cook. Crow apprentices probably eat gruel three meals a day. When Zevran became a full-fledged Crow and gained a little independence, you know our boy would begin a whirlwind tour of every restaurant in Antiva City. Like many city dwellers, he’s too busy with work (e.g. killing people) and there’s too much good food readily available to justify cooking. I think Zevran’s got a refined pallet and could pick up the skill quickly if he wanted to, but when he first joins the party, I just think it’d be funny if he was inept.

5. Morrigan - Everything Morrigan learned about cooking, she learned from Flemeth. Consequently, I believe Morrigan knows how to skillfully cook dishes that are totally unappetizing to the rest of the party. When it’s her turn to make dinner, she spends the early part of the day foraging for weird shit: glowing fungus on logs, crunchy little lizards, lots of eggs but somehow never chicken eggs. She thinks her recipes are great and they remind her of home. She’s legitimately most comfortable cooking soup in a cauldron, because that’s what Mom used to do.

4. Alistair - Alistair spent his formative years in a monastery, and community meal prep is an integral part of cloistered life. I think Alistair got regular practice in the kitchen and has solid cooking fundamentals. The monastery got him in the habit of cooking for large groups; because of this, he tends to make too much food, and gets a little bemused if he has to portion food for only one or two people. He’s also very efficient at food prep. The man used to spend whole afternoons skinning potatoes. He can dice an onion like a fiend.

3. Oghren - Do you think Branka ever cooked one meal in her entire life? Oghren was definitely the house-spouse of that relationship. If you want a bit of heart-wrenching headcanon - maybe Branka occasionally got so absorbed in her smithing work, Oghren’s cooking was the only thing that reminded her to eat. Oghren’s not only got fundamentals, but he strikes me as the kind of man who can cook a few dishes extremely well. When the party manages to find him some familiar ingredients from Orzammar, Oghren cooks a dinner so delicious that it leaves everyone incredulous.

2. Leliana - Leliana has similar cooking experience to Alistair since she lived in a cloister, but also she grew up as a bard in Orlais. Leliana was trained in many arts, and it stands to reason that cooking would be one of them. She is a wonderful chef. She does her best to prepare multiple small dishes with contrasting flavors. Everyone tries to persuade her to take extra turns making meals. Unfortunately, Leliana constantly laments the lack of fancy ingredients or decent cookware that could display her craft to the fullest effect. She’ll make something absolutely delicious, but spend the whole meal bemoaning, “Oh, if only I had Orlesian goat cheese instead of this Ferelden stuff...” This is the slightly irksome price to pay for her cooking.

1. Sten - Listen. What if Sten was the best cook in the group? I have no particular justification for this, except that it would be funny as hell. The party marvels in hushed whispers how he can somehow make one (1) dead rabbit plus dried trail rations taste like a feast. He never explains himself. In Par Vollen, are Stens a proud caste of warrior-chefs? Is this something about our Sten in particular? We shall never know. That cookie was a revelation for him. All his vast knowledge of cooking, yet this amazing concoction was hitherto unknown. He has to uncover the cookies’ secrets and bake them for himself.

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #dragon age meta #da meta #da rambles #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

CrowT3 (Zevran/Rinna/Taliesen) Fic Recs

(Updated June 2022, wow!!) Are you overly invested in Dragon Age’s tragic poly assassin romance, featuring a character who shows up one (1) time, and another character who’s mentioned in one (1) conversation, from a video game that came out more than ten years ago? You are not alone.

I wanted to gather some of my favorite fics about this beloved rareship and Zevran’s past in Antiva. Be mindful of tags and cws for individual stories. Life as a young Crow was rough.

Roles by @october-rosehip​. Excellent hurt/comfort. Emotionally-perceptive Rinna can’t ignore Zevran after he gets back from a particularly unpleasant mission. Short, bittersweet, and beautifully written. (802 words, complete) Never To Be Told by @aubergion. Opens with one of my favorite renditions of “depressed, self-destructive Zevran leaves Antiva to go kill some Grey Wardens.” Next chapter is a flashback with an absolutely delightful and clever story of Zevran, Rinna, and Taliesen working together on a mission. (5082 words, in-progress)

Across A Crow’ded Room by antivan-beau. Tweaks the WoT timeline to have Zevran and Taliesen meet Rinna when they’re all young adults, freshly out of apprenticeship. Part slow-burn romance, part mystery, part con artist story, it imagines the first mission they undertook as a team. Full of good banter, worldbuilding around Antivan politics, and the humor/drama ratio we love to see from our favorite assassin. (41,055 words, in-progress)

Where Our Hearts Hunger by (Orphant Account). Tells Zevran’s story beginning with his earliest Crow tests and training. Satisfyingly canon-compliant while fleshing out details from World of Thedas in very creative ways. Exciting, dramatic, poignant, and fun to read despite not shying away from the darker aspects of childhood as an Antivan Crow. Very well-written. (33,000 words, incomplete)

Hunting In Sets by @rabbitprint. This is an OG crowt3 fic from 2011 that first got me obsessed with the potential of this ship. A series of vivid vignettes about Crow training, and how the three of them went from childhood co-survivors to lovers. (7000 words, complete)

A Shipwreck Off Llomerryn by @ghostwise This Taliesen-encounter-in-Denerim fic builds on Taliesen’s canon dialogue to improve the emotional stakes of the scene. If, like me, you wish Origins had leaned just a bit more into their relationship, this fic will scratch that itch. (1900 words, complete) Only Yours To Give  by @antivan-beau. A humorous heartbreaking slice-of-life mission with Zevran, Rinna, and Taliesen working together to assassinate a nobleman in Antiva City’s grandest cathedral. Flirtatious banter and swordfights ahoy. (11700 words, complete)

Damaged by @superbilliam. Do you ever read a fic and think to yourself, “Wow, that’s fucked up. Headcanon accepted.” This fic tells the story of how Zevran got the earring from his first mark. Plus a bit on his stint with the Dalish. A heart-wrenching character study, with a bonus Zevran/Rinna conversation. (3500 words, complete)

Belief by @saltlordofold. This Taliesen-encounter-in-Denerim retelling is included as an honorable mention, because if you like this ship, you will probably enjoy clutching at your chest while reading this. Angst with a happy ending. (1700 words, complete)

Have you written crowt3 fic you’d like to promo? Or got another fave you want to celebrate? Feel free to add more.

#zevran #zevran arainai #rinna #rinna (dragon age) #taliesen #taliesen (dragon age) #crowt3 #dragon age: origins #dragon age rarepair #dragon age fic #fic rec #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

Looking through my tags, I realized it’s been ages since I properly promo’d my longfic! With the next few chapters in the works, now’s a good moment for some recap.

Across a Crow’ded Room answers the question: “What if you took the fun, polyamorous con artist vibe of The Road To El Dorado, but made it a doomed romance about assassins?” * (Rated M, ~37000 words, in-progress)

Chapter One. Fresh out of Antivan Crow apprenticeship, Zevran and Taliesen are 60% hubris, 30% horniness, 10% repressed trauma. Reveling in their newfound freedom, they’ve quickly developed reputations for completing contracts… creatively. After another successful mission, they decide to do what comes naturally: get drunk and fuck around. “What could possibly go wrong?” they fail to ask.

Chapter Two. In which Zevran and Taliesen brag about their exploits to impress a girl, under pain of death. Featuring: a cool tapestry, legerdemain, and secret handshakes.

Chapter Three. In which our intrepid trio does not enjoy the fun and glamour of being Antivan Crows. Featuring: a spooky apostate assassin, torture, copious Zevran sass, and the faintest inkling of a plot.

Chapter Four. In which Rinna establishes herself juuuust on the fun side of mercurial asshole. Featuring: socio-economic commentary on Antiva City, concealed weaponry, and seagulls.

Chapter Five. In which the trio gets their mission to kill the King’s advisor. Featuring: tender hand-bandaging, control freaks with quippy dialogue, and “oh no, he’s hot.”

Chapter Six. In which Taliesen undertakes reconnaissance. Featuring: lovely rural scenery, irresponsible work-life balance, and murder.

Chapter Seven. In which Zevran undertakes reconnaissance. Featuring: artfully orchestrated coincidences, fantasy wine regions, and lying to get into somebody’s bodice.

Chapter Eight. In which Rinna undertakes reconnaissance. Featuring: some Indiana Jones shit, foreshadowing, and the implication that there are like, assassin librarians?

Chapter Nine. In which Zevran and Taliesen almost have a real conversation about their bad trauma coping methods, but make out instead. Featuring: that.

* Were people clamoring for this? I was.

#please enjoy my feverish attempts to write both a slowburn AND a heist #with jokes! and murder! #zevran #taliesen (dragon age) #rinna (dragon age) #crowt3 #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

Across A Crow’ded Room, my tragicomic Zevran/Rinna/Taliesen slowburn, is back and hornier than ever.  

We have come full circle! Our story began with Zevran and Taliesen’s dumb banter, then a lot of plot happened, and finally, eight chapters later, they’ve secured an opportunity to flirt again.

Alas, their lives are complicated. Two ride-or-die friends who have to work pretty hard to avoid the “dying” part.

Taliesen awoke to a soft scratching sound. He stirred beneath his sheets and opened his eyes, blinking against the warm afternoon light.

His focus settled on Zevran, who sat at the table in the center of the one-room apartment. He held a stiff-bristled brush in one hand and a sword belt in the other. The rich smell of leather polish wafted from an open jar. Zevran was absorbed in his task, buffing section-by-section until the belt’s leather shone.

For a few minutes, Taliesen simply watched him: the deft movement of his hands, the way the tendons flexed in his forearm, his look of thoughtful concentration. Not for the first time, Taliesen wondered how his childhood friend had grown up to be so intolerably handsome.

A breeze from the open window ruffled Zevran's hair, and he absently tucked the loose strands behind his ear. This drew Taliesen’s attention to the fresh layer of linen pinned in place from lobe to pointed tip. Evidently, the frost-burn hadn’t healed enough for open air. A feeling between guilt and anger twisted in his stomach.

To tamp it down, he broke the silence. “Have you finally learned to pick locks?”

“I practice diligently, you know.” Zevran looked up at him, flashing a smile. “But this time, you simply forgot to latch your door.”

Check it out on AO3 :)

#dragon age fic #zevran #zevran arainai #taliesen (dragon age) #crowt3 #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

not being able to say “hell” in dragon age fanfic continues to vex me

thanks for coming to my ted talk

#hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

dao companions ranked by how deliciously angsty their urn of sacred ashes guardian questions are

8. Morrigan - There was so much the Guardian could have asked her. Anything about how she pushes people away and is super standoffish? Some witch-god Mom angst? Some vague foreshadowing for the dark ritual? But alas - the DAO writers truly never take an opportunity to care about her inner life. I guess some people find it funny or badass how she ignores the Guardian? I think this was just lazy writing. Morrigan ranks lowest because she was robbed.

7. Shale - The Guardian essentially tells her, “you’re too cool for me to fuck with you” and tbh I respect that. But it’s a very cursory exchange, so Shale’s gotta rank low on this list.

6. Sten - Tone-wise, I was never sure how seriously I was supposed to take Sten’s crime. Besides ‘going a bit apeshit and killing people that one time’ he seems like a pretty cool dude. Your Warden kills people literally all the time? But I appreciate Sten’s simple, “I have never denied that I failed.” Glad to see him admit some fault. But alas, the man is temperamentally unsuited to angst, plus angst is a non-issue under the Qun, so he also has to rank low.

5. Wynne - Wynne is an overbearing busybody and the Guardian’s callout is hilariously reasonable for her. “Do you wonder if you spout only platitudes, burned into your mind in the distant past? Perhaps you’re only a tool used to spread the word of the Chantry?” My circle-hating, Zev-romance Surana was setting off goddamn airhorns in the background. And Wynne even admits to a little self-doubt! In the most boring and mild-mannered way possible. This level of angst is acceptable for an eighty year old woman barely kept alive via magical spirit.

4. Alistair - He’s sad about Duncan and wishes he could have saved him - or perhaps died instead. This is solid angst. Not too heavy-handed, but it could easily be explored further. Feels very in-line with his character progression as he wrestles with his responsibilities. Alistair’s devotion to Duncan is honestly very sweet. This is the level of angst I baseline would have wanted from anybody.

3. Zevran - That transition from, “Oh, is it my turn now?” to “...how do you know about that?!” is (chef kiss). At least in my playthrough, this was the first hint I got that his character was gonna be any deeper than sex and murder jokes. After this exchange, I was like a bloodhound, sniffing out that good good angst, constantly bothering this dude to find the next dialogue tree where I learned the details of this story. Now *that’s* delicious angst.  

2. Leliana - “Why do you say the Maker speaks to you, when all know the Maker has left? He spoke only to Andraste. Do you believe yourself her equal?” God, this was so brutal!!! I was obsessed when I first heard it and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. Was she just lying to feel special? Why would she persist in telling the lie to the Warden, then? Why such an unlikely lie? Maybe her vision was real and God actually talked to her? Maybe she truly believes in her vision, but actually, she’s just magically-addled, or perhaps just a regular insane person?? And she 100% fights the Guardian on it!!! Everybody else who gets a real question offers a bit of confirmation of his criticism, but she’s like, “I know my vision was real, fuck you.” I’m still gonna write fic about her reaction to this...

1. Oghren - ??? Who saw this sincerity coming??? How the fuck is Oghren the most interesting character to take with you through this challenge? He’s candid and self-aware? The biggest surprise of all was realizing what a great character Oghren could have been, if the writers didn’t think that alcoholism and misogyny were hilarious personality traits. Oghren, my man, you deserved better. But ugh, I hate havin’ you in my party.

#dragon age #dragon age: origins #da rambles #da meta #hawkeward original

[antivan-beau]

Across A Crow’ded Room, perhaps the most plot-heavy excuse for a threesome that has ever graced the Dragon Age fandom*, has got two new chapters full of poison, intrigue, angst, and Zevran sass.

“So can you do it?” Rinna asked. “Create a poison that works through skin contact alone?”

Zevran sat across from her at the table in Taliesen’s apartment. Between them heaped a haphazard stack of papers, most tucked into a bulging leather folio. A weighty, hard-bound book rested at the pile’s base.

The third in their trio sat on the edge of his bed, looking less flustered and more thoughtful by the minute. Zevran noted, with some amusement, that in Taliesen’s haste to get dressed, he’d misaligned the buttons on his shirt. It hung slightly askew across his chest, with an empty hole at the collar and an extra button at the bottom.

Fighting the urge to smirk, Zevran returned his attention to Rinna. “I imagine you’re looking for something immediately lethal, yes? Ruling out anything lingering, or anything that requires a few hours to take effect.”

She nodded. “Even a few minutes might be too long. We can’t allow Maranzalla time to figure out what’s happened and try for an antidote. We won’t get more than one shot at this.”

“And nothing must look out of place or arouse her suspicion,” Zevran mused. “No packets of powder that tear once the book opens - that sort of thing could be felt from the outside.”

“That’s right. We need something invisible. Odorless, too.” Rinna had pulled out an argento coin and was walking it across her knuckles. Keeping her hands busy seemed to help her think. “You understand my difficulty, here.”

Zevran sifted through a mental catalog of toxins: animal, herbal, and mineral. The vast majority of poisons had to enter the body through a victim’s nose or mouth. Or a wound. But there were options. “Mancinella resin can kill through touch alone. And such a thing could be rendered undetectable, although the process would make it, shall we say - volatile. Quickly diminishing in effectiveness. It would need to be prepared on-site for the potency we’d require.”

A scar bisected the eyebrow she quirked at him. An unexpected thrill warmed Zevran’s stomach like wine. She asked, “Could you work on the grounds if Taliesen kept watch?”

He put a hand to his heart. “In light of my considerable charms, perhaps you assume all my training was dedicated to social finesse. But I assure you, I am a capable poisoner.”

“Let me make sure I understand.” Taliesen’s deliberate, dry baritone cut them off. “You’re just going to give the book back?”

Check out the rest on AO3 :)

* This is a claim that begs to be contested. If you've got a plot-heavy fic eventually justifying a threesome, please DM me the link. I assure you that I would love to read it.

#zevran #zevran arainai #dragon age fic #dragon age fanfiction #taliesen (dragon age) #rinna (dragon age) #hawkeward original #crowt3 #perhaps my greatest fandom accomplishment is getting other people to call this ship the crowt3

[antivan-beau]

My Understanding of Dragon Age: Inquisition, based on fandom osmosis:

(immortalizing this for posterity because I’m finally gonna play it for the first time in the year of our lord 2020)

- You play as the Inquisitor. “Herald of Andraste” seems to be a related but separate job. Your purpose is to figure out why these big green columns of light (rifts in the fade?) have opened up around the land. Probably darkspawn come out of them. I don’t actually know why they’re a problem.

- I am honestly not sure what the overall thrust of this story is. Like, in the way you can say Origins is “recruit different groups of people so they come together to defeat the Archdemon and prevent a full-blown Blight from destroying the world.” And Dragon Age 2 is “group of misfits dealing with troubles in Kirkwall as it’s threatened by outside forces (qunari) and civil unrest (mages v. templars.)” Excited to learn what Inquisition is... about.

- Somebody named Corypheus is behind it all. He is one of the ancient magisters who invaded the Golden/Black City. His face looks Bad. Somehow, conflict with him is not gonna be a major aspect of the gameplay, though. Don’t think I’m gonna get satisfactory answers on if the Chantry’s version of Golden/Black City events are real, or possibly elven history/lore events are real.

- You have some companions who are advisors on how to be Inquisition leader, who probably give you quests and stuff, plus some companions who are buddies and travel around with you. Still not allowed to kiss Varric. 

- Solas, an ugly bald elf, betrays you. The circumstances surrounding this are totally opaque to me. I guess he doesn’t tell you that he’s an ancient elven god, but I don’t know what he actually does in this game lmfao.

- There is some kind of mage/templar conflict, but I have no idea how it fits into the other plot threads. My impression is, much like DA2, they won’t let me take a strong enough pro-mage stance to satisfy me, despite making it pretty damn hard to empathize with the templars’ goals and methods.

- Someplace called the Hinterlands is quite reviled. There might also be a bad, spooky swamp. Right now, I always envision it like a Dark Souls poison level. What areas do people like in this game?? I’m not sure. There’s someplace called Skyhold, and some level that’s a fancy party in Orlais.

- I get the feeling this game ends on somewhat of a cliffhanger/not-totally-resolved note.

- The best romance in this game does not involve your character; it is watching Iron Bull and Dorian’s romance.

#hawkeward original #dragon age: inquisition

[antivan-beau]

Many thanks to the folks who’ve tagged me in writing memes (@aban-asaara @idylleigh, @tortuosity-writes, and @slothabed) <3 I’ve been really busy with work and haven’t gotten an opportunity to socialize online or write much. In addition to working on the next chapter of my crowt3 longfic, lately, I’ve been brainstorming the next story in the Beatrice Cousland/Morrigan worldstate. Anybody else pissed that Morrigan gets to evade a proper Urn of Sacred Ashes Gauntlet question? I thought I’d write one.

Now, the Guardian turned its gaze toward the last member of their band. Morrigan crossed her arms over her chest. The furred mantle of her cloak pooled around her shoulders. Her face was beautiful for its airy defiance. Although spattered with old blood, her lip rogue was careful as ever, eye shadow as careless.

Morrigan’s pride could wither flowers or move mountains. Within these hallowed halls, she would declare Andraste a fable and mock this spirit to its helmeted face. Beatrice found something deeply grounding about this.

The Guardian spoke with a voice that echoed from a distance, yet arrived as close as their thoughts. “And you, Morrigan, Flemmeth’s daughter… what - ”

“Begone, spirit.” A weary smile curled her lips. “I will not play your games.”

A pause: as long as an age and as short as a breath. Then the Guardian continued. “Your companions took up this quest to end the Blight. To aid the Grey Wardens. But you had your own reasons, selfish ones, to join them. Have you ever felt guilt that none of your companions know your true purpose?”

Beatrice had rarely seen Morrigan caught off-guard. Yet there was a quirk to her brows and set to her jaw that the Warden couldn’t otherwise name.

Her reply was slow, deliberate. “On the contrary. They all know why I am here. Twas my mother’s will.”

“Do you believe that truth sufficient?”

“Why do you speak of guilt, spirit?” Morrigan’s voice was suddenly sharp. “What is its purpose? Will guilt ever repel a darkspawn blade? Will guilt resurrect loved ones? Is guilt necessary to pass through your door?”

There was a vastness to the Guardian’s serene regard. “I will respect your wishes.”

They all felt the shift in the dusty temple air. The door before them swung open on silent hinges. Blue light shone from the room beyond.

#obviously i have an extreme fondness for re-contextualizing canon dialogue #morrigan #morrigan x female warden #hawkeward original #dragon age femslash

[antivan-beau]

Elder City on AO3

In which Morrigan is ill-equipped to deal with Denerim, a beautiful Grey Warden, and an earnest assassin. (Rated T, 6600 words, complete)

Relationships  Morrigan / Female Cousland Zevran & Morrigan (past) Zevran / Female Cousland

---

“‘Tis a mystery. How could anyone fail to see the appeal of elbowing their way through crowds of barely washed humans and elves? Of the dulcet sounds of domestic quarrels, ceaseless Chantry recitations, or badgering by officious merchants? Or such olfactory wonders as the stench of livestock, stale beer, concentrated urine, and countless more fascinating, memorable odors - ”

“Glad you’ve brought your sunny disposition to this endeavor, as well.”

---

Looking for F!Warden/Morrigan stories, I happened upon an interesting, short piece by @slothabed. Then I noticed that it was the only fic on AO3 tagged “Zevran & Morrigan.” Surprised by the dearth in this worthy tag, I felt inspired to contribute.

Thanks to @mocha-writes for offhandedly floating the idea for these weirdos to bond over poisons :)

Check it out on AO3!

#dragon age femslash #dragon age fic #dragon age: origins #morrigan x warden #morrigan #zevran #beatrice cousland #hawkeward original #'Believe it or not Morrigan is gay.' / 'Elaborate on that.' / 'No.'

[antivan-beau]

Will you do headcanons for OCs? Because I want to know more about Beatrice Cousland.

BLESS YOU for asking me about my OC. 

Ah, Beatrice. Not actually my canon Warden, nor a character I’ve even played, but I adore her. 

General Opinion: Beatrice is an affable jock. She loves her friends and big swords. Painfully earnest. Strong Cousland sense of Duty and Obligation. Has a straightforward, lawful good sense of right and wrong - so simple that it tends to get her into trouble, because it’s hard for her to see nuance or both sides of an issue. She tends not to explain herself and just does her own thing. 

Sexuality: Bisexual with a slight preference towards women. 

Gender: Cisgender woman. 

A ship I have with said character: Beatrice and Morrigan have an unlikely romance. They start off as purely platonic tent-mates because they find they sleep more soundly together than apart. Morrigan is very private. Beatrice is an open-book. They have frequent miscommunications. Although she plays it cool, Beatrice actually falls in love quickly - Morrigan is intelligent, capable, beautiful, and has a really strange worldview, which makes Beatrice relentlessly curious to figure her out. Morrigan grows to respect Beatrice’s conviction and resolve. After months of sleeping in the same tent, deep late-night conversations by the campfire, having each others’ backs in the thick of battle, etc, Beatrice just assumes they’re dating, while Morrigan experiences it as an agonizing slow-burn of trying to understand all these feelings, ugh. Morrigan has some comphet to work through. I’ve written fic about the earliest phase of their relationship :)

A BROTP I have with said character: Beatrice and Leliana have a very sincere friendship. They’re both deeply moral, but Leliana is more worldly and pragmatic. On the road, they get into pun riffs or singalongs that drive the rest of the party insane. Initially, they actually bond because Beatrice believes in Leliana’s vision.

Besides Leliana, Zevran is Beatrice’s best bud. They hooked up for a bit when he first joined the party, but they turned out to be better friends than lovers. Physical touch is important to both of them, so their friendship includes lots of sparring, braiding each others’ hair, back rubs, being bros who hold hands, etc. (Zevran/Alistair is eventually canon in this worldstate.) 

A NOTP I have with said character: Beatrice and Alistair are like siblings. Before the Landsmeet, they ponder the idea of a purely political marriage, but they just can’t bring themselves to go through with it. 

A random headcanon: After defeating the archdemon, Beatrice becomes Warden-Commander for a few years. Once the Grey Wardens are rebuilt enough to be self-sustaining, she disappears one day to try to find Morrigan. They live together in Orlais, with Beatrice keeping a low profile, and raise Kieran together.

#beatrice cousland #warden cousland #my ocs #asks #hawkeward original